>you're...bulking?

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>so tell me more about these "deathlifts"

>>41273974
you forgot the "" around bulking

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>What do you need this creatine for

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>I'm afraid I don't understand....what is "1/2/3/4" and what does it have to do with getting a "gf"?

>A cartoon dog told you to do what with a skateboard?

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>Good lord..you know they use this stuff on livestock, right?

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>GOMAD...? DON'T MIND IF I DOooo!

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>And then the piano told you to take five scoops?.. Interesting

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You've been putting WHAT in your breakfast?

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>You need to stop calling this number, "manlet" is not listed anywhere as a medical condition

>what has Nazi officers got to do with "making gains"?

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>You're eating five dozen eggs every morning to become a "barge"?

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>>41274081

>>41274053
kekd

>>41274138
that's a clever one

>>41274098

Kek

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>No wonder your heart is in terrible shape, your survey says you've only been cycling three times in your life...

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>You're cutting?
>Self harm is not the way to lose weight
>I will make an appointment with psychiatrist

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>What is fapping and why can't you do it this month?

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>Please listen carefully. We don't want to alarm you but it appears your body has gone into what we call ketosis. We'll take you to the er and get your glucogen stores back to normal right away.

>My receptionist Stacy has informed me that you keep referring to her as Myron
>Have you taken any blows to the head lately?

This thread is the funniest of all of fit. Good job whoever makes these

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>What do you mean, 'squat plug'?

>>41274053
My sides

>>41274254
Nice one

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>FLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR

>>41274254
You tell me

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>low test? You need a library not a doctor

>zyzz?
>you should be getting eight hours a night

>>41274307
Hehe

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>Dial? No no, machines these days use buttons

>>41274307
>>41274354
what

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>>41273974
> anon, 5'10" is the average male height. So no I can't give you HGH.

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>So, you are here today to remedy what is listed on your paperwork as...."sickness for the thiccness"?

>Hmm...I'm afraid that I, too, suffer from such a condition

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>I told you sir, my name is not pajeet.

>>41274053
Fill me in here, chief.

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>Sir, I understand your fascination for deadlifting. In fact, it is my job.

>But I'm afraid you're not allowed to be in the morgue. Please perform your recreational activities elsewhere.

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>>41274369

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>Look I can't tell you this any clearer. Dr Jeff already clocked off hours ago

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>you expect me to believe you gained 20lbs of lean muscle from bicycling, caviar and Pinterest?

>>41274446
>being new

>>41274484
>making fun of someone because they haven't wasted hundreds of hours on an alaskan ice fishing image board

>>41274446
Scooby

>>41274254
>she also mentioned you tried to.. tip her?

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>and then the patient quoted that he wanted to "leave humanity behind" I recommend the patient be put under medical observation until their safety can be confirmed

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>Sir, this is the third time this week we've caught you in the maternity ward searching for "bulking secrets"

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>>41274140
>Tfw there is far too less Gaston-posting

>>41274053
kek good night my sides

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>we've been over this time and time again. Each test has been NEGATIVE for gynaecomastia. Stop asking

>>41274557
>Dom-Mazzetti_shares-laugh-with_Alphadestiny.GIF

>>41274503
>wasted

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>so the nurse said you do some kind of sport called Dee bowl? Let me look that up


>oh lord

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>I understand your concern, but I can assure you their weight is perfectly normal.

>>41274503
>not lurking moar

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>take on scoop of this medicine daily
>n-no not 5
>NO JUST ONE SCOOP DAILY! ONE!

>>41274336

underrated

>>41274622
Fucking brilliant

>>41274503
I'll spell it out for you newfag, Scooby an oldfag of fit has a YouTube channel where he has a shitload of home gym/diy style tips, one is to use a skateboard against a wall to do squats to save spending money on squat racks/barbells etc. He's a chill old dude who's sensible as fuck and tried to educate the young idiots here to not waste money early and they could achieve good physiques by simple methods. Too bad half the idiots here don't take advice from an old fag who's now retired early, looks amazing and is self sufficient, had pilots license, found love all that shit. They all just whinge about tfw lonely/broke/fat etc.

>>41273974
"G-G-GO-GOMAD?"

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>roastie? That's DOCTOR roastie to you young man.

>>41274128
my sides

>>41274444
Underrated quads

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>>41274683
Yeah buddy!

>>41274138
please explain

>>41275301
SS

>>41275301
>your cippled toes? That can certainly happen when you drink as much milk as you have been

>sir I can assure you you are not a baby mammal

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>>41274465
I spat out coffee

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>>41274356
I've been pronouncing it dee-yell this entire time

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No nap?
¡mio dios!

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>can you tell the doctor what you meant when referencing his "BBC nigger cuck genetics"?

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>I recommend the patient sees psychiatric care, fears he will not "make it" despite being in fine health

>>41273984
they fun :DD

>>41275751
Dude you're killing me :D
Deze memes are too strong. WIN!

Bump for bants

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Nanidesuka? FOUR SAKUUPARUU?

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>>41274053
HARD KEK

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>Where did you say you got your information? "A Japanese anime image board"?

>>41275751
hurr durr

As a 4th year medfag these make me kek heartily. Thanks OP!

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> Sir this is a newborn. Not a "Manlet". And "he will learn" when he is enrolled into primary school several years from now.

>>41275694
Its obiously d-y-el

>>41277921
Funniest one

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> "Eat big to get big?" That explains your situation."

>you've said you've had three sips of energy drink a day sir, but your heart rate suggests you've had three cans.

>>41277921
kek

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>Patient keeps refering to an unknown deity called "Sys" that will make ensure that everyone will produce something

>>41274007
Underrated

>you chew hard gum for 5 hours a day to get these, uh.. "facial gains"?

>patient says the he "mews" to reshape his maxilla and become a "slayer"...

>>41277605
I fuckin love m2k

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>Sir, how did you get into the lab?

>Please put the trenabol vials back in the refrigerator before I call security.

>>41277767
Chuckled

>Stacey, check out what this patient put under 'Sexual Activity". He made a new box and wrote 'Never'.

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>Wait, who is in London?

this threads are always the best

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>>41274391
Top fucking kek

>>41274174
underrated

>>41277844
kys

>>41274885
Scooby pls

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>"What do you haven't had sexual release in 45 days? It's not going to give "social gains". Roger can you come in here? We need you to manually milk this man's prostrate before he gets cancer!."

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>we asked your son how he got hurt and all he said was he took a trip to "snapcity"... Do you know where that is?

>>41275694
that's the correct way to pronounce it

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>"Wow anon, you've gained some muscle. Let's take a look at your penis and make sure it's at least average healthy size (9.5 × 6)
>Wow anon with all those muscles you've got I thought it'd be bigger! No wonder you've been working out so much!

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>Sir i can't possibly prescribe 1gram of testosterone per week that is way to much. Besides your testosterone levels are completely normal

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Who is this "Nathan Gaines" you keep referring to?

>>41279319
You forgot to mention that he is at 145 ng/dL

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>I think there's been some kind of mistake anon, your chart says you're only 5'10.
>I'm going to have to refer you to my colleague, he's one of the best pediatricians in the state.

>>41277844
fag

>>41279276

kekd

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>>41279050
>>41277921
>>41278901

>No, I already told you my name is not "Myron"

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>>41273974
>No sir, I am a doctor, not an archaeologist. Why do you ask me this every time?

>>41277844
1/10 made me reply

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>>41279454
>I can take a look at it

>>41279492
Oh wow that's a cute archaeologist, usually they're old or men

>>41279454
damn, what a qt

>Please sir, I'm not a "cruel angel", and it's not a thesis, it's a diagnosis.

>>41279523
Dont worry shes a whore and will overtly cheat on you.

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>Okay sir, if you'll come in, we are ready to begin the procedure- wait...

>You! For the last time, the X-ray machine will not make you "bulk like Hulk". Now please get out.

>>41275732
>mio dios
This has to be bait

>>41279532
What possible procedure could require 7 Indians in a small room?

>>41274250
>glucogen

>>41279667
>glycose

>>41277844
pls no

>>41274444
Checked and kek'd

>>41278073
Underrated

>>41279666
Installing a toilet

>>41275301
>He doesn't know what the SS is

>>41279354
kek

>>41279276
fuck this got me
>kek

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>I'm sorry, how many eggs each day?

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>>41277921
jej

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>>41274539

>>41279532
>"bulk like Hulk"
That's very clever Anon

>>41277844
Fuck you

>>41274475
kek

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>and this rippletits man told you to drink a gallon of milk a day?

>>41274250
kek

>>41277844
No

>>41277844
freak

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>>41275694
Its dial not deeyell

Just like its meem not maymay

>tfw you used to say maymay unironically

>>41278005
nice

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>you lift weights? Really? Wow ok, maybe work a little harder haha... nah just kidding bro

>>41277844
Damn

>>41277844
fug

>>41277844
Kys

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>>41273974
>you sprained your ankle after falling into WHAT pit at your gym?

>>41280566
Top kek.

>YOUR GYM HAS A DRAGON UNDER THE SAUNA?!?

>>41277844
m

>>41277844 Fuck u

>>41280566
There's a HAWK in your gym?

>>41277844
fuck

>>41277844

stupid cunt

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>>41273974
>Hahaha what? He failed penis inspection day at his gym and was sent here for treatment?

>>41279521
Or worse, old men

>>41274503
>I'm being a newfag and you can't stop me.jpg

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>so what happened? The plate dispenser at the gym was broken so you kicked it then a "manlet" laughed at you?

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>Sir why are you critiquing my physique, you only have 7 inch biceps

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>you're doing all this lifting for girls? Just be confident bro!

>>41277844
Fuck you

>>41277844
FUG

>>41278024
good one anon, underrated

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>>41274098

>>41279666
Basic software development.

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>>41274517
jej

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>So you're worried you... might have gone to snap city?

>I'm sorry I don't understand

>>41281152
Unfortunately Indians don't know Basic.

>>41277844
nog

>>41274331
Kek

>>41277844
Bruh

>>41277844
fuk u

>>41280566
Kekd

>>41277844
ugh

>>41279354

I don't listen to filthy DOs

>uh-huh... and these goblins.... do they steal your gains only when you are trying to form a relationship with a woman? What do you mean by 'only if they are high test'?

>>41278073
Good quality

>>41279089
Hello Rebeddidit

>tell me more about lifting uh, these peanuts

>>41277844
Clever girl.

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> what do you mean your legs are fried?

Dr. Anon you will be fired if you continue to call the anorexia patients holocaust survivors.

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>spooky skelly?!? WHERE?

>>41282179
*unzips dick*
Right here bitch

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>>41274622
Can't fucking un see it

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>>41275732
>¡mio dios!

>>41277844
T

>>41282666
nice trips satan

>>41277940

This one just rolls off the tongue much better.

How did you contract a virus from a "gym trap?

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>your uncle called it, "penis inspection day"? well, i'm sorry to tell you this anon, but...

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>t-f-w-n-o-g-f....?

>I think we may need to consider some kind of corrective surgery....

>>41274053
Oh fuck that's good

>>41273974
Quality thread, thanks for the laughs anon.

>>41273984
>"DEATH GRIPS? "

I WANT IT I NEED IT TO MAKE ME FEEL HEATED

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>>41282088

>>41274331
keked

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>>41274503
>WHAAWHAAA senpai please spoonfeed me i am too retarded to find it out myself

None of this is funny at all, since when did this place become leddit tier?

>>41277921
oh god damn it

>>41285883
>being this new

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>Please stop sir, we don't have any q-tips here and I know what Pi is.

>>41282088
hitler dubs checked. good one

>>41274331
ow gawd

>>41285907
kek

Anyone got that comic of the guy telling his coworker something like "No, I like my body :^)" with some strawman weightlighter

>>41280973
>waiters often lift several plates with only one hand several times a day with no injuries, I don't see how you could have hurt yourself this badly lifting only five...
>no sir, even counting waiters who work in bars this is very unusual

>>41274517
Made me laff

>>41274180
underrated

kek

>>41278073
Would have been better if you said "Zees"

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> So you're saying your sleep, or your "zzz's" are a sick vagina?

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>NO ANON, I'm not going surgically attach your head to the corpse of your "gym bro", and what is this "dio mode" your trying to "achieve"?

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>>41282088

>>41274446
a gay dog

>>41274098
holy shit fucking laughed out loud so hard to this

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you drink what?

>>41288551
Reddit, pls go.

>>41274503

fag

>>41288873
S I P
I
P

GET IT RIGHT

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>>41287847
underrated kek

>>41287847
Underr8ed

>>41274422
doc Reeves

>>41275361

>implying the majority of SS were officers

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>Thirty-Six?
>A DAY!?

>>41274098
Oh god my seids are in orbit!

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>a gym falcon?

Bump for the bants

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>High test? Well, you shouldn't do drugs anyway, let alone during exams!

>>41274081
kek

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>What does the Pi have to do with having trouble finding a relationship?

>>41274053
HHAA

>>41278356
Mandible faggt

>>41274250
How common is it for doctors to mix up ketosis and ketoacidosis?

>>41288391
>"zzz's"

>HOW many scoops??

>>41274067
I've actually been told this before lol

>>41274336
fucking lol

>>41278490
trenbolone*

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>Call security. This adolescent assaulted me for no reason. Oh.. he's 22?

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>No sir, your penis does not hang lower than your testicles. Don't worry, it's not a medical symptom.

>>41274002

aww cute peepee

>>41280332
>>41280364
>>41280418
Wut?

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>>41274053
oh lord thats great

>>41281142
holy shit thats rare

>>41285913

I like this

>>41280606
Oh fuh lmao

>Why does Mark rip toes?

>>41274081
always the best

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>>41273974
>You say your main motivation in life is to be strong for your "Way-foo"?
>Is that your pet dog or something?

>>41276059
normaaltjes krijg uit reee

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>...ass to grass?

>>41297498

Does anyone else motivate themselves through those last few reps by pretending Mark is standing behind you screaming?

>LIFT WITH YOUR ASS, STAY IN YOUR ASS BRETT

>>41274067
Is this about tren?

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>>41274683
highly underrated

>>41298196
Mine is Arnold when he was squatting with Eddie in pumping Iron. I always here the "Come on Eddie" in a thick austrian accent.

>>41290531
Kek. And two multivitamins

>>41282088

> survivors

how can u survive something that never happened tho

>>41274954
>when that weird guy ruins the joke

>>41274954
no

>>41299986
It's like google's AI tried to imagine what a suitable joke would be.

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>so you've been orally stimulating yourself for "extra protein"?

>You've had two alien encounters? Perhaps you should try some medication to cope with your delusions

I haven't been to a doctor since