What is the most alpha thing you ever said /fit/?

>>40917735
Fuck you mum I WILL go to kfc whether you like it or not!

>>40917735
Driving Uber I once screamed a drunk guy out of my car
Don't remember what was said but I basically had a more convincing "I'll fuck you up" wall of text come out of my mouth

>>40917735

Screamed "I. AM. TUROK." out of the passenger window of my friend's car in the Walmart parking lot.

>gril says hi
>just nods, unable to keep eye contact longer than a split second

h-how alpha is that guys?

>>40917735
hold it while i pee

>>40918044

Not really alpha nor beta, just makes you appear totally disinterested.

I'm guessing you're a beta who thinks being an alpha means withdrawing from contact in order to appear independent.

>>40917735
When I fought my bully. I had enough. I told him that he was overconfident and that he wasn't gonna bully me anymore. He said something like "yeah, right. I'm gonna bully you and all your friends". And I said "yeah? well, count this time as the last". I kicked him pretty hard, he fell over, punched him a few times. I didn't go barbarian mode on him. In a few seconds, he knew he lost. That was it. He never bullied me again.

>>40917735
"I'm sorry tyrone.please fuck my wife. thank you."

>>40917735
when im with my friends i come off as alpha a lot becuase i really just say what i think. I dont say much in general, but when someone asks me something i say what i mean.

Probably the wildest reaction i got was when a girl asked me if i would fuck her and i said no, because you're disgusting. everyone started hooting like monkeys it was hilarious

>unloading truck
>have one type of stack that's easy a fuck to unload
>have other type that's notoriously shitty, especially for newfags
>go take easy stack because fuck you new guy, you need to learn
"can you please take that stack"
"don't cheat yourself out of valuable fuckin experience."

fuckstick quit like 2 weeks later, about 4 days after a 30lb tub fell off one of those shitty stacks and smacked him in the head, he fell, and he started crying.

>>40917735
>was at the gym benching bodyweight for reps easy
>lanklet with a 6/10 skinny femwhore benching 65kg (less than his bw) points at my weights then his and is trying to impress his bitch
>she laughs
>get up fuming
>eyes bore laser holes into his sternum of anger
>don't test me
dude giggled nervously like a scared pussy and ran out, haven't seen him since

"No sauce.", at the Mcdonalds drive thru.

>>40917735
>in class
>ask teach if i can go to toilet
>teach: "i dont know can you?"
>*unzips dick*
>piss right there in class while maintaining eye contact with teach
>"looks like i can mate"

>>40918059
>I'm gonna bully you and your friends

>>40918103
Only decent response in the thread

>>40918112
How much do you weigh?

>>40917735
I am going out with you for purely egoistical reasons.

>>40918091
that rejecting thots feel
>go walking with buddy
>know he's a chubby chaser but whatever
>go to park about sundown
>thots there
>like 3 of em
>all 3 are too fat for me
>Kentucky.exe level fat
>time goes by
>sun down for a while
>the roundest thot starts doing some sort of mating dance
>like she's grinding on a pole in a children's park
>fat rolls rollin around
>stripper type dancing on a picnic table
>clothed, thank fuck
>react to this albino chimp balloon woman like I do for shitty normie memes
>cocking an eyebrow every once in a while
>looking at phone pretty often
>she starts realizing her adipose jiggling ritual isn't doing shit for me
>she actually starts crying
>"you don't know what you're missing."
>"I could've rocked your world."
>walk home knowing I made an orb woman sad

Don't really feel like greentexting..
In high school an annoying, actually autistic, kid had a crush on my gf at the time. He handwrote her a 4 page front and back single spaced poem in pencil and gave it to her when we were all signing yearbooks. He signed mine "I guess you got the girl in the end." I was pretty pissed cause he basically ruined my yearbook with his autism and it was never a competition. I was dating her going on 2 years at the time. Leading up to this he constantly talked shit on me to people but I had to just let it go because he was autistic.

So I got back at him, and in hindsight it was probably overkill. But after school I always went to my gfs house since it was down the street. Typically we fucked or she would at least blew me then we would nap. That day we decided to read this retards poem and laugh together. Then we started getting into it and we end up fucking. Towards the end, she's insanely wet as a 17 year old typically is, and I'm ready to bust.

I notice the poem on the bed and I grab it like a cum rag since we just pulled and prayed. She made a snarky comment about It being fuckedup or something and went to the bathroom to clean up herself.

So I had this kids number and I remember getting this elevated feeling like I HAD to do what I was thinking. Like I literally couldn't fight the urge. I snapped a pic of his cum stained poem and sent it to him with the caption:

"Fucked her on your faggot poem. This is as close as you'll ever get."

He didn't reply or speak to us at school or graduation afterwards. Oh well

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>Be humble in your words, not your aspirations

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>>40918149
thanks for the you. :)

i told my brother in law, who is at least 10 years older than me, to fuck off and he literally backed off.

sort of turtle like backing off

Get the fuck away from me you fuckin white nigger!

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>>40917735
sigh, when i got cheated on and found out, I walked straight up to my Ex who was making breakfast and said "K Y S yourself lad" and threw her frying pan out the window.

idk what i was thinking i struggle with autism but i like to think it was quite alpha

i walked out her house and never came back

to this day, the image of fried eggs and bacon strewn across her front lawn is burned into memory

>>40917735
i called the trap i was fucking a filthy faggot

One time me and another dude had each other by the collar at the pub and he cocked his arm back as if to threaten me with a punch, I just smiled and said do it. I guess that was pretty cool in hindsight.

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>>40918217
haha why is this so funny to me

>>40918217
>"K Y S yourself lad"

fucking kek

>threw her frying pan out the window

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTaGfVHahEs

Me and my friend used to drive around my town screaming "FUCK HER RIGHT IN THE PUSSY" to any moderately hot chick we saw on the street.

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>>40918199
Damn, anon

That traps are gay

Told a girl I was too drunk to fuck but would pleasure her all night

Worked out well for me

>>40918289
*cringe*

>>40918199
If this is true then fucking nice one, son

Was talking to girl at a party. Drunk guy approaches and tells me to fuck off because i dont deserve a woman like that. I answered with "if you like the way your face looks right now, you should reconsider what you just said". He went apeshit

>second time ever having
>same girl
>were naked under the covers
>want my first blowjob but unsure how to ask for it
>say "so uh... you kinda wanna suck my sick a little bit?"

>>40918217

I hope one day I too can be this alpha

>>40918348
Where does this come from? I would've been like how bout you back the fuck up before I check your chin pussy

>>40918355
Smooth move tex

>>40917735
>senior year
>realised this average face, hot body chick in bio class had a crush on me
>start flirting with her for fun and alternating between being a massive dick and being somewhat nice depending on when the next assignment was due
>got her to do all my bio hw for me by the middle of the year (it was basically rote memorisation, fill in the blanks crap that really wasn't worth the time)
>she keeps inviting me to her place but I keep rejecting (her shit, arrogant personality really turned me off)
>after graduation after-party she walks up to me and asks me why I always reject her
>"I was only ever nice to you when I needed you to do my bio hw or when I wanted a nude purely for egotistical satisfaction"
>she glares at me and looks somewhat shocked and then gets into her friend's car and slams the door

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>>40918301
LOL no they're not, just high test.

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>>40918530
>mens with penors isn't gay

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>>40918217
>idk what i was thinking i struggle with autism but i like to think it was quite alpha

>KYS lad

pic related, u

>>40918091
It surprises me that you're under the impression that they consider you alpha when they clearly laugh at your social ineptitude. You're the autist of the group.

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>>40918217
>kys lad

>waiting in the queue for a coach at like 1am
>most people are at least a bit drunk
>hear some neckbeard say something about a fight, I think he's just joking with his friend
>he catches me eavesdropping so I joke "I'd have your back mate"
>he thanks me sincerely
>wat
>wait a few more minutes and get on the coach
>this chav and his girlfriend being rowdy before we set off
>guy organising the coaches shouts "this is a quiet coach, alright?!"
>coach goes silent
>chav replies "what the fuck are you gonna do about it?"
>beta organiser says nothing and gets off
>they laugh loudly
>I have a sensible chuckle about how beta that was
>chavs are sitting behind these neckbeards now
>neckbeards are talking shit about them
>chav overhears and it starts getting heated
>everyone on the coach is awkwardly saying and doing nothing
>goes on for what seemed like ages
>old man tries to interject
>"erm excuse me I don't appreciate your language and erm..."
>they ignore him
>eventually the chavs girlfriend punches one of the neckbeards in the back of the head
>it goes quiet and gets really tense
>row starts bubbling up again
>I stand up, walk over to the chav and his gf and say "right, switch places with me. I'm fucking sick of this"
>chav looks at me with disgust "nah mate you're alright"
>pretty sure he's afraid of looking beta in front of his gf
>I say "I'm not moving till you do" without blinking
>old man's wife pats me on the back
>she mirin dat posterior chain
>he eventually gives in and moves
>"hurr alright but only cos if I don't then I'm gonna kill one of those pricks"
>whateveryousay.jpg
>could be wrong but I think the gf gave me "fuck me" eyes. She wasnt good looking anyway
>neckbeards thank me quietly
>overhear chav say about me "he looks like someone I would usually hate... but actually he's alright"

I came out of that situation with every single person thinking I was great. Actually I was just covering my ass because I'd accidentally said I'd fight him

>>40918217
this is the greatest thing i have read on this forum yet, kek-kekarooskie fuck fuck fuck

>>40918355
fuck I remember my first gf and I would make each other ask for (as in formulate out loud) what we wanted. some weird feels but her blushing was worth it.

>>40918786
That's a case of Alpha right there
Calming the tribe, wetting some panties, earning respect and doing it all with just your presence and a few short words

>in school canteen
>see qt sitting alone
>approach and ask "is this seat taken"
>she blushes and says "its free"
>i grab the chair and take it to the table where my homies at

>>40918574

if a man can make himself that hot why are some of these females so fucking disgusting - Large 'Big lenny' Leonard

>random drunk cunt hitting on my gf at the pub
>lolwtvr.jpg
>he tries to get closer, i shove him away
>'what the fuck mate?'
>'youre about to be picking this schooner glass out of your face buddy'
>'i'm just mucking around m8'
>grab the back of his head, real quietly just between the two of us: "......i'm not going back to prison over you mate"
>missus goes and gets me a beer

>>40918839
>being this autistic
She didn't think you were flirting with her and she sure as hell didn't blush. This isn't anime faggot

>>40918895
hows it feel being ugly

>went out with girl on a date (already made it obvious i liked her)
>She said she just wanted someone to talk to

I literally told her: "I wanted something more from you, I've already got enough friends, sorry" and just picked up and left, didn't even wait for her response

She was just sitting there with a wtf look on her face

>>40918199
fucking kek

>>40918905
>not realising your post is like literally every other "she looked at me and therefore she was totally mirin and eye banging me bro--believe me" post

>>40918221
yes but did you get punched?

>>40918922
lol, autist detected

you were probably going to get laid anon

>>40918617
do you even have friends? as in real friends. in the outside world?

>>40918922
>>She said she just wanted someone to talk to
>thinks this means she just wanted to be friends
lmao fuck me. You're an autist and you blew it, son.
>She was just sitting there with a wtf look on her face
Bewildered by your autism, I'm sure

>>40917735
I took a knife to a guys cheek and said "Unless you wanna whistle through your cheek, I suggest you leave now"

whew those were rough times.

>walked out on a one night stand because she didn't suck dick
>backhand slapped some thot because she hit me
Denying pussy pass is alpha to me
>got into a fight with some dirty hippie because he kept grabbing my gf's ass and when I beat him up I threw his pants in the canal
>suplexed a bouncer once
>started calling my dad by his first name when I found out I fucked more bitches than him

Bouncer here, regularly threaten to rape guys thats are trying to fight me in work, they threaten me with knives I threaten them with my penis

>>40917735
This Italian guy was talking shit to me.
I said
>"say one more thing and I'm gonna smack the shit into you"
>calls me a pussy bitch
>proceed to give him the most thunderous bitch slap of all time
>sounded like the cacophony of Amy Schumer's thundering thighs during a jog summed up in one second
I've a habit now of slapping people before I get into fights.

>>40918997
>being a bouncer
ultimate cuck job, only thing lower is mall security

would sooner be the garbage man
>this thread is now garbo respect thread

>am actually 5'8"
>tell people I'm 5'7"
>don't drive an over-sized truck

>>40918960
>>40918091
>tfw I used to be you and used to think I was alpha too until I realised that everyone thought I was "weird" and that I kind of existed outside of society but in a bad way and the only reason they kept me around was to see what outrageous thing I'd blurt out next

>>40918997

Saw a guy threaten a little kid who was trying to beat up this guys little brother by saying he's rape him. Kid almost pissed his pants

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>>40919027
>mfw iktf too well

stop it

Didn't really say anything but
>ex gf calls me a week after she cheated on me
>cmon babe I was drunk just come over please I miss you I know you still need me hun all you do is lift your fuckin weights
>nah what I need is to hang up and get back to my pullups
>lol you aren't gonna hang-

still remember that phone call made me extend my rest period by like 30secs
>still glad I left that goblin cunt

>>40918186
>orb woman
kek

>>40918059
Same.
>tfw the most manly thing you did was in the 8th grade
I miss being bullied.
(no i'm not pls don't bully me)

Friend borrowed my headphones and they came back broken and he refused to say anything to me.

Invited him to listen to a song I pretended to play through the headphones and put them over his head

He said he couldn't hear it, or anything and I barked EXACTLY at him, pay up you cunt.

Felt pretty alpha

>>40919014
Sure thing bud

>>40918987
Last one made me go "hehehe" out loud.

>>40919034
Works surprisingly well

>>40919009
me too. shit is good. thunderclap their ears and it usually staggers the fuck out of them.

if it goes to court, you will be charged with common assault instead of GBH

also i know 2 guys who are doing time now because of one-punch. dont punch people. its fucking stupid.

>>40918885

Australians are so weird

>need to kidnap a guy
>hatch a cunning plan
>get myself kidnapped (throw 'em off guard)
>taken on a plane with the target
>this nigger who thinks he's in charge starts threatening me and the clique, asking where i am
>shooting his shooter and all that stuff
>nah
>tell him im here
>takes the bag off my head
>he says "youre a big guy"
>think of a witty comeback
>"thanks ive been doing GOMAD and SS for the last year"

>>40918033
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across theUSAand your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

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>>40918786
>could be wrong but I think the gf gave me "fuck me" eyes. She wasnt good looking anyway.

I don't believe you.

>>40918159
70kg

>>40918091
She was laughing cause she was insecure m8, but if you said it straight up like that within 0.2 seconds to respond, damn way to shut her down

>>40918186
I dig your verbiage

This was back in October of last year

I hooked up with this quirky, fashion girl in my apartment but I underestimated her completely and realized how rare/GF material she was. She looked like a nerdy yet innocent type of girl that's really into fashion which is especially rare because I go to Uni in a shithole city in Northwest Florida where its filled with rednecks and people mentally behind.

Before getting to my place, she told her friend (who my older colleague was hitting on) to come along to my place and she was testing me to see if I could handle the situation so I said "Look, you can go if you want" but that made her stay more. She was telling me she could give me her number and see each other later but I told her "I don't do numbers/social media" (I really don't use social media except SC) and she realized I wasn't stupid to fall for that. So I kept my frame and she wanted to find out something so I told her more manipulative shit until I knew she was "down". So she went straight to my room and I said goodbye to my colleague and her friend.


All I can remember was, the sex was amazing, I purposefully started it off softly and massaging her feet/legs, then when I ripped her pants and she took of my clothes she got on top of me. I was doing so much dirty talk and playing with her mind beforehand to the point where rubbing my hands down her body got her to easily moan. I placed my fingers into her mouth before I fingered her and I was just feeding her these emotions by saying some dirty shit. It was her first time 69-ing cause she couldn't suck my dick while having the feeling of me eating her twat, so I stopped and waited. She threw her pelvis on my face but I was just teasing gently by licking her soles/thighs. It was at this moment I started getting pissed at her for not reciprocating.

[1/2]

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>>40919425
[2/2]


She kept calling me 'daddy' or some weird incest shit while we fucked.


Meantime she's still testing me to see if I'll react when she leaves and I say "You can leave honey, the door is right there" and that would literally make her come crawling back to suck me. 1 Hour in and she still hasn't gotten me to ejaculate cause she took 3 FUCKING pee breaks.


Then she kills the vibe completely by pretending to sleep so I let her fake sleep until she started asking me to call her friend to pick her up.

I forgot to mention I drank heavily and my emotions were completely out of touch so when I went to take a piss, I got angry that she clogged my bathroom with paper so I told her to realize what she did. She was almost finished dressing up and while I was still nude taking a piss, she went for the door but I tried to see if she really wanted to leave cause she wouldn't have a ride home.

So she starts arguing with me without realizing that I could've taken her home, but instead my mental state snaps.

I started getting pissed and realized that I spent 4 hours fucking this bitch and still haven't busted a nut. The alcohol, mixed with the aggressive emotions and the increased 'T' lead me telling her to get the fuck out of my apartment.

She left my bedroom looking down at the floor with a little girl smile that didn't get what she wanted.


That's probably the most alpha as fuck thing I've ever done to a bitch.

>>40919339
How was he trying to impress his gf by benching 5kg less than you?

>>40918922
Mr Autismo spotted

The most alpha thing l said was said accidentally
>walking lost in thoughts
>suddenly a group of yobs jokingly, I presume, ask me for my wallet
>didn't hear it too well, so I stop
>pulled out hands from pockets, since it's rude to speak with hands in pockets
>ask 'what' because I didn't catch what he was saying
>he answers 'nothing, go'
I guess I looked tough but that wasn't my goal.

>>40917735
>drive through mcdrive
>tell cashier she's got something on her nose
>shetoucheshernose.pdf
>honk horn
>speed off laughing hysterically

>>40918199
>in hindsight it was probably overkill
naaaaaaaahhh, don't beat yourself up over it

>>40917735

>be me working at the yard
>some guy talks to me about some household items and shit
> says "i have this i have that"
> he asks why i buy super fancy shit like quality vaccums that last and huge sound systems that work well for years and good quality items
> i look at him with disgust and say " im not rich enough to buy cheap shit"

>>40918388
Sounds too much like "back the fuck off??!?!"

>>40918405
>alpha

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>>40918218

>>40919095
Also same but in Year 5. The kid moved schools and I felt so cool. All downhill from there.

>>40918997
How do you get into working as a bouncer?

I'm a college student and am interested in getting a job in that.

How big should you be? Height? Weight? How do they check your fighting experience?

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>>40917735
I have always been a friend of underdogs. In middleschool I befriended a skinny russian kid with whom nobody waanted to talk. Well maybe he was a bit explosive and it may have been annoying to other but nobody should have reacted with bullying. One day there was a beef between my russian friend and one of the cool kids. I let them know that if they would pick on him I will defend my friend. Suddenly this enraged kidlet starts talking shit that if I would defend my friend he would defend the cool guy.
>gets all in my space shouting in my neck
>he accidently launches a spit catapult over his lip
>in a deep voice I caution him- don't salivate al over yourself lil baby
His ass got handed back to him, he gets emberassed and goes away.
Feelsgood.jpg

there was a car full of teenagers parked outside my bedroom, talking loudly late on a weeknight. i went outside and told them "can you guys go somewhere else, im trying to sleep"

not really alpha but happened yesterday.

Sat in a tram on my way home when a teenage boy (about 15) stepped on with (presumably) his younger sister. He bought a ticket from the conductor and I heard from his voice that he was a good person. He had acne, kinda bad and I felt like sharing a tip to help treat it.
I've had acne ever since 13 to basically today, meaning I still get it when I eat shitfood (or simply excessively) and don't exercise enough, but have gotten it under good control as of late, much thanks for the tip that I wanted to share with him.
Anyway, I took out my notebook and wrote a step by step instructions on how he could easily help his face's health and gave it to him when they were to get off the tram.
He seemed a bit confused since I didn't say what the note said, just told him to read it later.

Maybe this was an autistic thing to do but i just really felt for him since I know that if I wouldn't have had acne throughout these years would my confidence and life in general have been alot less depressive and got the impulse to share some knowledge

>>40919711

based

>>40919711

what was the tip?

>>40919711
Even if it was autistic, which I don't think it was, that's a damn decent thing to do for another person. Good on you.

>>40918199
i'm fucking howling

>>40918040
Did you do the gay spinning floaty dance to go with it?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pBQ4VnPyBBU

>bitch walks up to me asking for money
>say nah bitch

>>40919198
Now this is underrated

>>40918044
pretty alpha. To improve you should have flexed a 'cep

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>>40919756
Simple as fuck

1. boil a cup or so of water then let it cool for a bit
2. pour water into some container (I use one similar to the smallest one in attached pic) and add a teaspoon or so of salt, mix it until the salt is dissolved
3. Put the cup in the freezer
4. When you do your morning/evening cleaning routine, or whenever you want, take the cup out and dislodge the ice (warm water from faucet works well) and massage/press the ice onto the areas of your face that are inflamed (be careful though, don't press too hard or too long, find what works best for you carefully). You can of course, and should, massage/press the whole of your face with the ice as well. Good idea might be to hold the ice with a towel or something to avoid slipping/getting cold fingers.
5. If there is sufficiently enough left of the ice, put it back in the cup and into the freezer, if not, make a new icecup.
6. repeat.

This may be novice advice but I only recently stumbled upon it by accident and it has remarkedly helped my acne atleast.

>>40917735
I laughed after being hit in the face with a gun before climbing a mountain.

that sounds fake but it happened.

>>40919605

are niggers human /fit/

>how's this for starters?

I said, as I flexed a 'cep

You know, this thread brings up a lot of memories.

>Getting ganged on after primary school by three high schoolers, taken to a tree with a noose, having the noose put around my neck, them slowly tightening it
>The feeling of rope getting tenser behind your neck
or the time in high school
>Ganged up on by local "da bois"
>locked in dumpster in middle of summer
>only got discovered once metal shop teacher game to throw stuff out and wondered why it was locked
And about two years ago
>Out on friends birthday
>Somehow shit starts over taking a taxi
>friends run away as I get bashed for, I duno, maybe 15 minutes by drunk dudes twice my size
>they only left when clear fluid starting running out of my ear

I can sympathise why people carry a gun.
Not possible where I live though.
Now days I just avoid notorious areas, do the old defuse ladder (Avoid, de-escalate, comply, etc).
Failing that I have, much to my regret and lots of counselling, caused someone to die in hospital because I hit him with a full wine bottle.
yeah, sorry for the rant. Just a lot of feels coming up. I don't really like going out anymore anyway, so I guess it's not too bad.

Anyway, I never said a word, just nervously laughed.

Some guy found out i fucked his gf before they were together and kept ringing me trying to threaten me

In the end i just said: threaten me all you want mate but i still barebacked your girl in a public toilet

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>>40918217
im fucking dying

>>40919548
dude

>chillin' in the cooler at work
>old lady I work with comes in and tells me I have to come break up a fight
>walk out of cooler and see two dudes squaring up yelling at each other
>HEY
>they both turn around
>I'm going to need you two to get the fuck out of my store or you're both leaving here on stretchers
>B-BUT HE STARTED IT
>crack my neck and knuckles
>I said... Get. The fuck. Out.
>they both book it

They were manlets so I don't know if it counts or not

>>40917735
"Please don't leave me"

>>40917735
Chick asked if I wanted to go out this weekend

>"I can't, I'm doing something else"
>"what?"
>"haven't decided yet"

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>>40918217
>and threw her frying pan out the window.

>>40917735
>I block psycho girl
>year passes
>friend messages me saying she messaged him to get me to unblock her
>k.jpeg
>normal conversation
>lose interest
>start beein myself BZZZZZZz
>she gets offended when I repeat her saying oopsies with "OOOPPSSSY DAISIES AHAHAHA"
>blocks me
>lol

>>40918050
Me and my m8 were once quite drunk at a house party so we shared the toilet for a Piss and had the idea to hold each other's dicks while we pissed. The girl holding the party opened the toilet door and just stood there like Wtf. We both just laughed then returned to the party. nohomo

>>40919183
I'll fuckn fight you, cunt

>>40920670
Stories like this will never sound one bit alpha or tough when read on the internet.

>>40918617
>mummmee sez peepl dun leik me couz I'm tooo smrt 4 dem

KYS
Y
S

>>40918199
And that how a murderer was born...

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>>40918348
I had something similar, but then I just sort of stared at him like -_- and signalled for the bouncer.
He got escorted out.
Not really alpha.

Quick question for you alpha-males, how do you deal with AMOGing?

I just find it so unbelievable obnoxious, and not even in a clever way, just like a drunken 18 frat bro/thug way. When it happens to me (more since getting fit and trying to socialise more) I can see why it'd be so cathartic to punch them, but it's not worth the repercussions (brother sub-came to the red mist once, ended with battery and assault charges because the douche-bags daddy was a lawyer, workplace dropped him so fast he never fully cleared out his desk).

at work recently, i got to put this dumb roastie cunt in her fucking place in front of the entire office.

>>40920434
man the fuck up, cuck

>>40918987
>>walked out on a one night stand because she didn't suck dick
>>backhand slapped some thot because she hit me
>Denying pussy pass is alpha to me
>>got into a fight with some dirty hippie because he kept grabbing my gf's ass and when I beat him up I threw his pants in the canal
>>suplexed a bouncer once
>>started calling my dad by his first name when I found out I fucked more bitches than him

How the fuck is this "Alpha"?
How is 90% of this thread alpha?
How is beating the shit out of people when you literally don't have to alpha?
If half this shit happened to me I'd just gun you down and claim self defence/felt overwhelming threat.
See how wet your girl's pussy is when your fucking grey matter is spatted over her gunt.

>>40921277
lmao
>muh guns

fuckin americucks

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>>40921277
>he needs a gun to defend himself
what a fucking homo

>>40921377
>>40921396
>t. people who pick fights only to back off pissing themselves when they realise they're out gunned

>>40917735
>What is the most alpha thing you ever said /fit/?
>alpha
>autistic fit will read as "being mean to people"
It's like I am literally reading 16 year olds definition of cool or something.

>>40918199
Savage as fuck, anon

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>girl at the store : hi
>ohshitwhatdoisay.jpg
>autism kicks in
>hahaha
>walk away

>I don't kiss ass. I eat it

>>40917735
Ai-yi-yi-yi-yi!

>>40918186
>"I could've rocked your world."
Was that supposed to be a threat?

>>40918204
>SS strikes again

Speaking from your heart and saying exactly what you think, is the essence of Alpha. Just wanted to point that out.

>>40918145
I wish this were real

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>>40921196
is.. is that.. lucoa?

>>40918217
Did you go to an ATM machine after?

>>40920826
>I'll show HIM autism!

>>40918199
Chad vs /r9k/

>>40919548
There are some fucked up people in this world for sure...

>>40919664
It's not about being able to fight, it's about looking like you can so people don't try. That's pretty easy to tell in an interview.

>>40921196

Just don't take them seriously.

Just say: Wow, you're such a cool dude. I wish I could be as cool as you man... Just mock them, that's what they fear the worst, to not be taken seriously.

>>40922304
But surely they check you can fight?

Also, is 6'1'' a good height for a bouncer or no? What's the ideal physique for a bouncer then? What intimidates most?

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>>40921948
underrated

>>40917735
I was driving through a bad part of Lowell, Massachusetts once, and I was having a pretty bad day, when some dude legitimately tried to carjack my shitty ass Ford Explorer at a stop light. My window was rolled down, and he held a gun up to me and told me to get out.

>I looked him in the eyes
>"fucking shoot me then"
>looked back at the road
>drove through the red light

Dude just stood there after I drove away lel, don't know why I decided to be a psychopath there because he easily could've shot me, but hey I stll have my car.

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>>40918301
Jesus is that (you) ?

>>40922457
Bouncers don't need to fight.
Hey are bouncers, not fighters.
There job is to escort people off the property.

Being black seems to intimidate a lot of crackers. Even armed police officers shit bricks when they see a black man.

If 6'1" is not short for your area, then that height should be fine. But build is more important.
A 6' big guy (for you) is much more intimidating than a 6'9" skellington.
People seem to be afraid of Muslims, so look like a Muslim if you can.

>>40917735

>I'm sorry babe, that totally never happens

>>40922598
Fuck
>tfw yt boi with blonde hair, green eyes
I guess that doesn't help very much? Girls usually find me pretty attractive for that at least

Do you usually have to hang out at a bar a bit and get to know the workers before becoming a bouncer or can you just straight up apply?

>talk up a qt in a bar
>she seems into me, getting a little flirty
>ask her for her number
>"I have a boyfriend"
>"Alright...so on a scale from 0-10, how likely are you to cheat on him?"

She laughed but I didn't end up fucking her. Still feel like it was an alpha thing to say.

>>40922682
friendly reminder that if you knowingly fuck a girl that has a bf you're no less of a whore than she is

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>>40917735
>A few year ago all the super markets started getting those self serve check-outs.
>use one as it looks quicker
>put all my tuna and chicken breast through
>hear 'unexpected item in baggage area' and think wtf
>machine keeps repeating the same thing 3 more times while I check what is listed on the screen and what is in the baggage area

My reply..

'You're going to get an unexpected fist in your mouthage area if you don't shut up!'

Machine stops repeating, I pay and walk out, tipping fedora to onlooking females who can barely stand due to the multiple orgasms they are experiencing from witnessing such a display of alphaness.

>>40917735
up in my room making sweet love to my gf. go downstairs to get water, roomie sitting there with a friend goes "so hows your gf,is she getting wet for you right now?"

me: "look man, if you talk like that, slapping you is the only thing i can do."

he looks to the floor and goes "you don't need to talk to me like that.." while his friend just sits there, smiling

>>40922751
Who gives a shit? I've always looked at it like this: If a bitch would cheat on her boyfriend with you, she'd do it with other guys too. You might as well be the one to get something out of it.

>>40922810
>I'm a degenerate and proud of it

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>>40919450
>fuck a chick
>she's terrible in bed
>she clogs your toilet
>you never nut
>alpha

>>40917735
>started calling my dad by his first name when I found out I fucked more bitches than him
Yeah but he's fucking your mom m8, he wins by default

>>40920434
>Getting fucking lynched in primary school

WEW LAD

>>40918405
That's not alpha, that's just being an asshole

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>>40918405
thanks for making the world a place with more cunty women in it, m8

>>40923450
>mfw

>>40921424
>t. lonely, overcompensating manlet

>>40919450

Hahaha what the fuck how is any of this alpha

>>40918405

Being an asshole isn't alpha mate. Its just being an asshole.

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>>40918217
>K Y S yourself lad

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> making a Sean Connery at work.
> Ex comes up with her new bf.
> " Don't do that impression, it sounds like you have dicks in your mouth"
> Reply " Funny you sounded nothing like Sean Connery when you had my dick in your mouth"
> Whole group goes silent.

>>40924887
Impersonation

>>40917735
>ex meets me outside of my work
>Can we talk?
>Nope.
>Didn't even breaks stride, just got in my car and left.

>>40918388
>>40918348
I always just say "ok" and carry on about my business or "Fuck off, faggot." if they persist. It keeps things from escalating (usually) and shows the person that you really don't care about them. I don't get upset by drunk people at parties. That would be like getting upset by crying babies in a daycare. You know where you are and who's going to be there. Just ignore it and move on.

People will usually go "wow so and so is really drunk. Sorry he bothered you." Then you just tell them it's no big deal, because it almost always isn't.

Exception: a guy I knew once went out to his car and came back in with a sword while he was drunk and pissed (at someone else). I had to pass a lot of speech checks for that one. I also had to prevent other people from calling the cops. Jesus that was a weird night.

>>40924887
That's some top banter, m8.

>>40925048
>(at someone else).
How well did you know that someone?
I think it'd be alright with watching a drunken swordfight.

>>40917735

My wife wanted to do a mitzvah and adopt two little third world chirren. I threatened to divorce her if we don't have kids of our own, and three years later I have the pleasure of looking down onto two little boys who have my face and their mother's beautiful blue eyes. Our marriage is a lot better for it too. Also, sex where you're intentionally trying to get her pregnant is amazingly hot.

>>40919212
kek, underrated as fuck

>>40918044
If you hold eye contact, alpha as fuck. If you avoid it, then you're just a creepy beta.

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I said the following to a man who looked very depressed :

"Disasters, and losses, and wrongs, have the same power over virtue that a cloud has over the sun".

On another day I told a man who was dying in pain:

"Make your exit with grace, the same grace shown to you."

I threatened to stab somebody once, he then apologised to me and left
Was it alpha?

>>40918150
I understand the picking shit up part but getting hit in the head can really suck. Sometimes you can't not cry like with getting punched in the nose. If he wasn't bawling like a baby I would understand.

>>40925379
>>40918150
woops. meant for >>40918103

>>40918199
holy fuck man. brutal. You probably made a robot. Definitely overkill.

>>40918217
>kill your self yourself lad

>>40918218
ur a faggot too

>>40918199
wow u really showed that autistic kid whos boss so fuckin alpha anon wow

>>40921212
pls share

>>40917735

>If you don't like it, there's the door.

said to that cunt of an ex

>>40918050
>hold it while i pee

>winrar

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>>40925048
>>40925048

>I had to pass a lot of speech checks for that one

you sound cool, lad.

Went to a public mensroom at some shopping center. When washing my hands before leaving I looked to the right and there was a guy masturbating while looking at me. That fucking degenerate proceeded to point at me and point to the bathroom stall and inclining his head to that same stall.

I went ape shit. Starting screaming that I will fucking kill him, called him names while my adrenaline was pumping. He run inside the stall and closed it behind himself.

Fuck.

>>40918199
amazing

>>40918199
You sure showed him.

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>>40919661
The school had a joint camping trip 6-8th grade, and there was this autistic fuckstick in 8th while I was 6th. Mind you this is right before the glorious growth spurt that turned me into a god, so I was only 4'11, about a foot shorter than Lord Fagquad. The third night he had gotten in his sleeping bag and was inching across the floor like a worm and making stupid noises, after about 3 hours this got old. Realising his humor had run out he produced a Polaroid camera, albeit with no film it and began flashing people in the face while they were sleeping. I was on the top bunk above a good friend at the time, and he made the mistake of crawling up the side, still in his autism cocoon, and flashed me a few times. The first one caught me off gaurd, the second one got me primed, and the third one covered a hard left to his nose while calling him "caterpillar bitch". So he flails off bed, squirms across the floor, and my faggot buddy on the bottom bunk runs out the cabin screaming "anon punched Matthew in the head anon" etc. Got kicked out of school when we got back.

>"It's not the 8 of us you have to worry about, it's the one of me"

I said that at a party, but it was 20 years ago and I can't remember the exact situation that led me to say it.

>>40924902
impurrshonayshun

>>40922641
Yes

If you want a job you always have to hang around the desired workplace and get to know the workers there before applying.

>>40918199
woah, alpha as fuck putting down the autistic kid.

mirin, anon.

>>40918405
cringe

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>>40919198

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>>40918199
Cruel, but a true display of dominance. Can you even imagine the shock of this kid? You either totally shattered or validated his perception of some weird Anime high school rivalry. How does someone, especially someone like that even recover?

>>40919198
lmao

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>>40918199
Easily the best itt if true

>>40918052
Day late reply but are you retarded or legitimately autistic my man

>>40918199
Probably overkill, but fuck him

>>40918985
You raid with your WoW clan?

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>>40918199

That kid's probably on /r9k/ or theredpill right now.

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I have a few

>this chick and my sis are playing on the bed
>suddenly argument, chick hits sis in eye
>chick shoves sis off bed and she breaks her arm
>start screaming about how I'd fucking strangle the bitch and cut her arms off
>the blood drains from her face and she passes out
>I call an ambulance; while it's arriving I carry the chick outside and place her face in dogshit before removing her clothes
>spat in her shoes and tossed them from the window
>flushed all her money down the fucking toilet and tossed the purse in the furnace

>I was never punished for any of it and the chick (who was an 8/10) is to this day terrified of me


I don't know how to feel about it.

>>40918145

>*unzips dick*

You need to see a doctor about that.

>>40919198
underrated

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>be autistic no gf fat kid all through high school
>lose like 80 lbs (260-180) freshmen year of college
>put on 20 lbs of muscle and cut to 175 (currently)
>still autistic but my looks help when it comes to grils

>about two months ago
>finally get a gf after 20 long years
>she goes to to my school and we match on tinder Mid january
>things are great for like 6 weeks and then she just stops wanting to hang out
>I ask why
>she says an ex bf made her "fragile" and she doesnt want to get close to anyone and that she doesnt trust me and wants to break it off
>this is after she fell asleep in my arms the previous night
>also Valentine's Day


>fast forward to three days later
>shes been avoiding even basic greetings and giving me dirty looks on campus
>leave my room one night, roommates and her are all chilling in the living room while I get a water bottle out of the fridge to go lift
>my one socially awkward roommate asks why we stopped dating
>I just said she wasnt my type
>she asks aggressively "so what is your type?"
>look her dead in the eyes
>"emotionally stable"

and then I hit my OHP PR

>>40918199
That's fucking awesome anon

>>40917735
my ex said that for the past two weeks her throat hurts to which I responded
>bet your knees do too
>mfw she didn't get it

>>40926518
YOU FUCKING KING

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I went from being my ex GF's bitch boy to breaking up with her.

Now I work out, i'm adored by almost everybody, and I'm a leader in a few organizations on campus.

But I still can't find anybody I loved as much as her, and it's really hard to connect with anybody on a romantic level now.

>alpha as fuck

>>40917735
>i friendzoned 8/10 cuz shes retarded
>than fucked her while she was thinking i want to be with her

>>40926518
listening to the weeknd right now, this post was nice lad

good on you, I'll become strong as well.

1/2
Despite being almost all my life a skinny nerdy guy I grew up in a shitty part of small eastern town in Poland so most of my friends are kinda thugs.
One of the most alpha things was when there was this big fight with guys from our school (age 13-15 I myself was 14 at the moment) with some grown up guys (20-22 I think) who came to our smoking spot and talked shit to one of the /ourguys/ there. This resulted in decision to have a big fight we vs them. I wasn't at the place but I saw that for some reason most kids from school is going somewhere so I put down my book into my backpack and go with them.
>get to some friend named turtle
>ask him what's what
>he gives me a quick rundown
>we go a few blocks away from the school
>most kids have go including some primary school kids
>we stand on one end and the other guys at the other one
>atmosphere is tight like in western
>few ourguys go from the crowd and starts fighting
>they are outnumbered
>see that one of ourguys Tomek is getting beaten by two guys
>at that moment in my life I was kinda bullied by some of the guys who were fighting
>but not Tomek
>Tomek was a golden hearted boy from a pathological family who thanks to his boxing skills was one of the toughest boys in our school
>always nice and friendly to me
>so I wanted to help him
>start running towards him
>some guy grabbed him and is choking him
>I see his back want to fight but don't know how
>flashback to the fallout critical points targeting system
>decide that neck is a good choice from this position
>start punching the guy on his neck
>he swings back at me but I jumped back
>turtle appears from nowhere and hits him
>I helped him lay the guy down he gets a trip to Kickontheground City
>look at the battlefield
>we've won
>some of them are pretty well beaten one guy has blood going out of his head
>other one is knock out on the ground
>feel very alive like a fucking champ
>maybe first time in my life
>soundofthepolice.webm
>we run like hell

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>>40919198
>shooting his shooter

>>40925615
Thanks man. Definitely not the image of an alpha. Just a guy who does what he needs to when necessary. No one else was doing anything, so I stepped up.

>>40925090
I knew him well and it was the guy being threatened's house, but I didn't want any drama. I just wanted to drink with friends.

One more:
>party at my house
>brother and some guys are on the porch
>one guy is dipping without a cup
>spitting on my porch
>hungry skeleton brother asks him to please not do that
>he says fuck you I'll spit where I want
>I overhear this and walk over
>make eye contact
>don't spit on my porch
>silence
>he finally answers
>o-ok I'll clean it up
>he apologized to my brother

Turns out that guy was just a beta posing. We're actually friends now. He was young and immature back then.

>>40927023
2/2
>run to the school building
>class already started
>get in through the window
>everybody is talking about the fight
>people in class jokingly but with respects talk about my involving in it
>I was at the moment a skinny nerdy guy with glasses always with brain fog because of my thyroid
>this continues through the days people are saying to me that I have a heart to fight
This was the event that pushed me into some bad company but also earned me a lot of respect and helped me start fighting my shynes and low self-esteem
Later on I did more similiar things but this was the breaking point. tfw you fight with your friends against other stronger guys and win is truly something amazing

>>40917735
"Don't make trouble."

I want to share something with my ?fit?bros that is either misunderstood or simply forgotten...

That is: the alpha of our species is a SOCIAL BEING. Being joocy is good of course - but brute strength doesn't even work in chimpanzees unless the leader is successful socially - because two smaller chimps can fucking slaughter the guy if they want to - which happens when the leader becomes a tyrant.

too many of you have a outdated (by several millennia) definition of alpha. This isn't the jungle anymore.

I'd suggest you'd be way more 'human' alpha by making the men (and women) around you feel good about being around you. We aren't hunter gatherers anymore - and women know it even if you don't.

>>40918818
this guy gets it, and he put it well with 'calming the tribe'. That's what alpha is all about - LEADING men, not emasculating and brutalising them. Cause no matter how hard you are - a couple of beta 'cucks' with a pipe can fuck you up if you give them cause.

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>>40918217
that's like a mix of autistic and alpha as fuck, i really don't know what to make of it, but this is the best post i've seen in weeks, i'm dying

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>>40918217
fukin kek'd m8

It’s a long story, and it’s kind of given me a reputation as a douchebag back home:

>Be junior in high school, fat beta loser.
>Also be povertyfag, have to work ~30 hours per week to help out with the bills. Only 17, so can only work minimum wage at the movie theatre
>New girl starts there. Beautiful, smart, funny, a goddess among us peasants in my eyes. She gives my tubby ass a slight bit of attention
>Become infatuated with her. The worst case of oneitis I’ve ever seen. I wanted to marry this girl
>She’s a year younger than me in school, so I’ll help her out with her homework while working. Any time this girl looked at me my heart fluttered
>We quickly become great friends, and I was too bitch to make a move. Typical beta orbiter. She ends up leaving the job about 6 months later, but we still see each other at school (small town).
>I played sports year round too (not any good), so I was in with the Chads of my school. They knew I was into her so they never touched. Good group of bros.
>Bros know about my crush, and hype me up over the semester to finally make a move on her. We won our conference in football so the school threw a dance. This was my shot.
>Wear the nicest clothes my white trash ass could afford, sneak some of my grandpa’s cologne
>See her on the dance floor by herself. Listen to my bros coaching, and walk across the dance floor, grab her hand gently.
>”Hey, do you want to dance?”
>She squints her eyes, cocks her head, and laughs. She then slaps my hand away, and says. “I’d never dance with your fat ass.” and walks away.
>My heart sinks, and I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. My bros that were watching were kind of sullen and speechless. I walk out of the dance and cry in my car like a good little bitch boy.
>I don’t speak to her again until I left my hometown.

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>>40927150
-5 years later-

>Go to college, find /fit/, make tremendous physical, social, and financial gains. I date women way out of her league, have an awesome job lined up, and I’m at 12% at about 180.
>Over Christmas break, I go to a party where we were all meeting up
>Walk in, see my old bros, all the old stacies, and then see her, standing by one of the Chads that ended up becoming a police officer.
>Our eyes meet, and I can see hers light up. She comes over, and we talk just like we used to before I asked her to dance.
> She’s put on a lot of weight, is a single mom, and wipes old people ass for a living
>She’s mirin hard, being very touchy, feeling my biceps, telling me how much I’ve changed, etc.
>She finally says “Wow, Anon! You used to be so fat and awkward! Now look at you.”
>I make pic related face, and say “I know! It’s like we traded places.”
>Bros go apeshit, like the black people rap battle reaction gif. All the stacies at the party were just standing there like “wtf happened”
>She bursts into tears right there, and walks out of the party. Nobody really cares after the initial drop, and they go back to being general normies. For the rest of the night I smile, flirt with a few other stacies. For some reason me being a douche turned them on. Whores.
>Go home and shitpost. This was about 3 years ago at this point. Since then I guess she’s gained another few pants sizes and she’s about to be a single mom (again) from some white trash bubba.

>>40920705
kek

G-gril here so I might not count

>husband and I in big city being tourists
>4 months pregnant
>heading towards a starbucks
>shady looking man comes up to us and asks us for any spare change
>"Sorry, we don't have any cash. But we will buy you a coffee and sandwich of your choice."
>definitely not happy with this answer, probably wanted drug money
>grabs my arm and pulls me towards him
>get scared
>.... wait
>are you messing with MY BABY???
>"Oh HELLL NO!"
>elbow him in the forehead
>he lets go and runs in opposite direction

It happened so fast that husband didn't have a chance to do anything besides pull me towards him after I elbowed the fucker in his face. Alpha mommy!! hahaa

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>>40927023
>>40927062
Good story, anon. I'm also a skeleton to this day (sadly) but I'm working to change that. I bet feeling strong is an amazing feeling. Greetings from Lithuania, lad.

>>40917735
>hanging with friends and some of their friends in buddy's backyard
>night rolls around, we're all chilling around a small fire
>people have been drinking all night, one guy a little too much
>i was probably the third or fourth biggest guy there, but everyone bigger than me knew him already so he started talking smack to me
>justbantz.avi
>everyone goes back to talking pretty quickly, and the bants subside for a while
>a couple beers later, he, myself, and a few others were grabbing food/drinks away from the fire
>backtobantz.com
>he gets more and more aggravated
>i'm actually pretty beta so instead of escalating the situation i tried to maneuver us both back to the group hoping he'd settle down
>while we're walking back pretty much shoulder to shoulder, he says he doesnt care that i'm bigger than him
>idontwannafightbro.mp3
>he turns to me and keeps up the shit talk
>he also did the angrybutnotthrowingpunches yet thing where he kept his hands pretty much at his sides, but his fists were balled up
>charismacheck.d20
>said something to the effect of"alright dude, it's been fun up until now. you're drunk and i don't want to hurt you, so just sit the fuck back down and shut the fuck up."
>holyshititworked
>he sits back down sheepishly and is pretty quiet for the rest of the night

>>40927214

that was awful, can you not post here anymore? this board is for men/gays only.

>>40917735
in middle school I climbed onto a table in the middle of class and shouted "I AM YOUR GOD"

I was banging this 6/10 ginger from my class years ago
>Oh X when I first saw you I never throught we'd be doing this
>I'm thrusting inside her, on top and with out missing a beat I said this wouldn't be the first time this has happened
>I immediately see the wheels turning in her head and her face starts to change as she's about to say something
>I start pounding even harder

This girl went as far to break up with her boyfriend for me and I had no interest

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>>40927164
what's your job, anon?

Also, did you lift out of spite? I'm skinnyfat and feel like rage and spite towards some of my old classmates would make for great motivators.

>>40918199
>btw that kid's name was elliot rodger

>>40918217
still waiting for the drawing

I beat a dog to death with a rock after it took a chunk out of my arm.
That's the only time in my life where I felt alive, without fear. I long for the feeling without turning into an animal killing sociopath.

>>40926768
You sound narcistic, deluded and codependent.

>>40918199
School shooter incoming

>>40927297
as much as I like dogs - I kinda like this one. So few of us know what it must be like to fight for your life. killing an animal one on one? (okay, I'll give you the rock - we are human after all and tools is what separates us from the animals) that's badass.

>>40926518
You deserve to post that pepe you glorious bastard. Good job, Anon. You did it.

I walked up to a guy at the bar who took my friends quarters for pool. I told him and his friend what they had done and asked them to apologize to my friend for stealing his money. One of them told me to "get the fuck out of his face" so I knocked him out cold. His buddy swung his beer bottle at my head and missed then a bunch of people broke it up.

So basically knocked a guy out and pushed his friend to the ground. My buddies told me it was pretty badass of me but I was pretty drunk. Probably the most alpha thing I've ever done though

Was at a house party, and a girl I met that night got into me. We were drinking, but I was DD so I didn't have too much to drink. She did, although we had kissed before she got too drunk.

Later that night she asked me to come upstairs with her, but she was fucking bombed. I called her friend and said I'd walk her home. I walked her home the girl thought I was going to fuck her for sure. She was still pretty drunk, but not stupid drunk and I got her into her bed and left the place and went back to the party. She fell asleep in like 30 seconds.

All my buddies were like "Bro, you scored!" and I said "nah man she was too drunk" in front of them and her friends heard too. I guess everybody thought that I was lame because I turned down easy sex with a hot girl.

Over the next few years at college, I got regular and awesome sex from three of the girls at that party and the drunk girl with MINIMAL effort.

I guess morals are at a all-time low in this county, because girls thought I was a gentlemen. Jesus christ.

Maybe a true alpha would have fucked the girl that night and here friends too. But being a gentleman than night paid big dividends.

>>40927297
So don't kill animals.
Interspecies homicide is terrible.
Stick to your own. There are phone apps and websites which are great for finding victims.
Or just loiter in park row on nights there is a show in the theatre...

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>>40922755
Top kek

>>40917735
"get on your back"

>>40919450
>>40923102
this

>was drunk at college football game
>Colin kaeperfag national anthem incident was near
>national anthem came up
>"IF YOU SIT DOWN I'll FUCKING BEAT YOUR ASS"
>see multiple niggers stand up

im seriously surprised I didn't get my ass beat im not even that big i wouldve never say that sober

>>40927282
Pilot, USAF. That's what got me into the gym initially. I kept going back because I liked it.

>>40917735
its kinda hard to pinpoint because i give zero fucks. Probably when I tricked 6 knife wielding guys into thinking I had a gun.

>>40927222
Nice trips mate
I'm even worse now because I changed to a skinnyfat but I'm working on it.
we're all gonna make it

>>40918405
you could've at least fuck her brains out ungrateful bastard

>>40918091
>when a girl asked me if i would fuck her and i said no, because you're disgusting
>weeeeeeeee fit why are girls so mean weeeeeeee why can't they be nice like they are nice to chads

Also if the situation was reversed the girl would have ran risk of a serious case of a broken jaw.

>>40927400
How much math do you need to be a pilot? I've actually been considering it, too bad I'm stupid as fuck when it comes to math.

>>40927214
not sure if roleplay but nicely done, most women freeze in those situations

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>>40927023
>>40927062

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>>40926518

>>40918199
> he basically ruined my yearbook with his autism and it was never a competition

By writing one line? You sound like a hormonal person. Good job on fucking a girl though.

>>40927485
why the disapproval?

>>40927500
because you are retarded, your story is retarded and the people giving you (you)s are retarded

not even funny, just a witty comeback only an underage autistic child who just came out of cocoon mode would remember

>go to a party
>see my bro and say hey
>hot bitchy chick notices I have arrived
>"oh look your boyfriend showed up!"
>I look at her and ask, who are you again?
>she says im blah blah its nice to meet you
>I shake her hand
>stare her in the eyes and say
>my name is anon, I wish that I could say the same
>shes gobsmacked
>I proceed to walk past her and get a beer

>>40918199
D E V I L I S H
E
V
I
L
I
S
H

>>40927632

Not trying to single you out bro you're just the most recent poster but this can be said for many ITT

Basically guys - too much of your childhood butthurt is showing.

maybe the chick was making a joke to get your attention / break the ice because she LIKES you.

people often banter by saying cheeky things

it's not an assault on your manhood! fuck me man, lighten up!

I didnt really do anything alpha but it was drunk and just stood up for myself

>Go to friends house to chill about with him and his fiance before going to the bar
>they are taking forever to get ready so i have about 6 beers
>feelin pretty good
>we get to the bar
>friend buys us all a few rounds of shots because he just recently got a new job with a pay raise
>Im feeling real good at this point
>friend is a murse and eventually his good lookin nurse friends meet up with us
>we introduce ourselves
>im normally pretty shy and dont dance at all, but started dancing with one of them
>notice her drink is empty, offer to buy her one
>get her one and she drinks it and we are dancing for about half an hour
>go to pee
>come back and she hands me a beer
>apparently some guy bought it for her after she kept saying no, but eventually gave in and let him buy it
>im drinking it while shes grinding on me and he sees
>comes up to me and takes my wrist off of her waist
>i smack his hand away and put it back on
>he taps her on the shoulder
>she ignores it
>he taps me on the shoulder so i give him the wtf look
>he shoves me
>i connect with his chest and shove him 5 feet back into a wall
>he starts walking towards me with his fists clenched so when he gets about 3 feet from me i do a head jerk thing
>he jumps back a bit
>im not gonna throw the first punch but im ready to fight
>huge bouncer jumps in between us and tells us we need to go
>i thank him and tell him hes right
>girl already left
>friends get me an uber and we go home
>i had gotten her number and we ended up dating for a few months

>>40927632
>>40927674

In addition, you might want to be less easily offended. You know who else is easily offended? SJWs - need I say more?

By all means - shut down a true cunt - but learn to discern the true cunts from people just having a laugh...

To stick with the above example (sorry again bro) - your handshake move was perfect - you acted cool, developed an opportunity to determine her cuntiness level. Problem is - she said nice to meet you. That was your cue that she was just playing. But you shot her down like she was 'one of the others'.

live and learn bro.

>>40919055
good on you lad, bitches ain't shit my dude.

>25 year old
>never ever had a relationship
>absolutely hate relationships, commitment and anything to do with love
>can't stand the dependence on someone else
>finally meet someone I thought was worthwhile
>tear down epic Trump tier inner walls I've been building up for more than a decade to just let it happen
>start a relationship
>slowly fall in love and be happier then I've ever been
>fast forward to a week later
>"Anon, I haven't really gotten over my ex. I'm not ready for this, it's for the best that I stop this now."

What would be the alpha thing to do?

>made eye contact with a girl, didn't look away immediately, and talked to her


I'm making it lads.

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>>40927779
Tell her it's not her fault and you'll take responsibility. Then go fuck her ass. Let her take a shit on your dick to seal the deal.

>>40927779

Realise it happened to men before you and will happen to other after.

you probably came on too strong - but you should forgive yourself for this.

EXACT thing happened to me - learn from it. But just don't let the pendulum swing the other way. I did this, met an amazing girl and never gave it my all. I feel like I robbed her of her best years.

Not a good feeling when you realise.

>>40927816
>you probably came on too strong
I really didn't, 100% sure I didn't come on strong. I really just feel like she tried to use me to get over her ex and it didn't work and then she dropped me. Maybe next time I should have more dates before making it official.

>>40927843
maybe - that happens too. If nothing else take comfort in the fact that she used you for that purpose - that's usually the domain of uber-chads.

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>>40927859
>If nothing else take comfort in the fact that she used you for that purpose - that's usually the domain of uber-chads
That actually made me feel a lil better, thanks anon. Hope you like this pupper.

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>>40927023
>>40927062
noice

>>40918199
If this is real, then it's amazing. You probably literally broke him.

>>40926518
Top fucking kek

>>40917735
Genuinely too many to put in this thread (know you guys will think I'm talking shit but is true). So I'll put down the most recent one.

Was at the pub last weekend talking with two girl mates (both massive lefties) about the latest terror attack. We're in the smoking garden in a pub in a very liberal uk city.

I said "Islam is cancer" to trigger them a bit and just as I said it some neet neckbeard skinny cunt walks over and ask for a lighter. I give it to him and he says thanks and wanders off.

He comes back two mins later asks for the lighter again as his roll up had gone out. I give it to him and he says

"deep conversation you were having earlier! Really deep man"
One of the girls I'm with says "sorry if he offended you"
Him: "no I know you were only joking right" (to me)
Me: "No I wasn't. That's what I think".
So he gives me back my lighter and says "you're a dick" and walks off.
I just laugh as he walks off because lol at these gimps apologising for Islam.

Anyway go to sit down having my pint and ten minutes later see him at the other side of the pub garden (about 100 people there) mouthing to me "fuck you" "fuck you". He's with about five other men and I'm just on my own with two girls.

I get up shout across the pub garden "what's that? What did you say?"

Everyone looks around.

He mouths "fuck you" again.

I just shout "calm down you little cunt I remember my first beer as well now sit down and shut your fuckin noise"

Cunt sat down and did literally nothing.

Probably doesn't sound that good writing it but was funny. I bench 300lbs for reps and was in a t shirt so think he knew him and his bitch mates were going to get it if they did anything. Although some of them were pretty big desu.

Other one springs to mind is when I ordered an Arab who pushed past a lady on a train to sit down and shut the fuck up or I'd break his hand when he pointed at me. Bloke was like 50 but he did.

>>40928006
I started reading this with a view to a negative reply - but you won me over in the end.

good work chad.

>>40927150
>>40927164
Most satisfying redemption tale in this thread. Will think about your story when lifting today anon

>>40927214
Please leave.

>>40917735
I was visiting some family in Florida, couldn't find anybody to take care of my cat so I took him with me.

At the airport some black guy with his daughter (shocking, I know) tried to berate me for bringing my cat along, citing how terrified and traumatized my cat would be from the trip.

I told him my cat has more balls than him and he shouldn't worry. He just sorta took it and kept shuffling ahead in the line.

>>40928006
Also another one popped into my mind. Not me but a friend who lived in a rough (black) part of London. Was walking home from school in his school uniform (went to a good school, same one Tony Blair's son went to).

Young thug sees him in his nice uniform and goes to him
"OI BLUD WOT PHONE U GOT? WHAT PHONE U GOT?" (This was years ago when everyone didn't have the same phone)

My mate (who was a boxer) walks straight up to the guy and goes. "No, what fucking phone have you got?" In his best Michael Caine cockney. Guy was hard as nails.

Phone mugger backed off pretty damn quick. Always thought that was a great line. Basically trying to mug your mugger.

>2012
>Season 2 of game of thrones just ended
>at this point I have read all the books
>drunk at a house party with my friends and some lame people
>slamming Genesee Cream Ale™ on their porch
>every time somebody walks out yell out a random spoiler from the books, e.g. X dies
>People stopped coming outside

Same house party
>Go upstairs because bored spoiling GoT
>Keg is near empty
>Pour myself a cup of.. foam
>Btw this is the middle of a year long sexual dry spell
>See some girl talking to my friends
>Beer in hand, hatch a brilliant plan to seduce her
>Walk up, introduce myself
>Tell her if she chugs this cup of foam I'll give her $20
>She obliges
>At this point my brilliant plan goes totally out the window
>Yell to my friend "I DONT HAVE $20"
>We laugh and fuck off to find more beer while the girl was trying her hardest to gulp down foam

One time I saved my girlfriend's life by not escalating a situation with a psychopath, but that wasn't alpha. I had dreams for the next week about how I could've been alpha but I have zero fighting experience or training. Probably would've got myself killed if I did anything else.

>>40928006
Good on ya m8

Merica' here, thank god we have Emperor Trump to protect us from the mudslims. Even if the entire left, and media hate him, a great deal of us love what he's doing desu

>>40928214
def stealing this one. You're mates a boss.

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>>40918217
>>40927296

>>40925637
AHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA

>>40925477
christ haven't laughed this hard in a while holy kek. good show anon.

>>40918050
i... don't get it?

>>40918217
jesus christ this thread is a gold mine, oh god my sides

>>40918217
tore me up

>>40919014
Shut the fuck up

>>40918199
>Towards the end, she's insanely wet as a 17 year old typically is
Christ this was painful to read..

>>40918199
And his name was Elliot Rodgers.

y-you too

>>40917735
"Youre not pretty enough to talk to me like that"

>Tfw she actually was pretty enough to talk to me like that
>Apologized later bc i felt bad afterwards

>>40920434
Where the fuck did this shit happen, so I can avoid it.

>>40928293
Kek

>>40917735
Probably not a very satisfying text but from my memory maybe the most altruistically alpha thing Ive ever said.

>Back in high school years
>During the summer
>School pays for a PT to run us through lifting/running training.
>So like 50 of us are running drills in the gym.
>Lunge for 4-5 paces then sprint out.
>Repeat 2-3 times.
>Take a breather
>During the break a kid says to me loud enough so everyone can hear something about he was surprised how he beat me.
>Not to say that I was, but this kid defintely wasnt an athlete so the comment was meant to embarrass me.
>Everyone looks at me.
>Dead silence.
>Im probably the most non-verbal kid in the group. Usually dont say much. Search for a response.
>At the peak of the tension say:
>"Nobody here cares how well you do as long as you come here and do your best and I did my best."
>More silence.
>A couple people chime in on my side.
>We move on to the next drill.

>>40928006

Keep sharing

>>40918199

Be careful senpai, he might just murder-suicide you and your gf

Savage af though, good on you

>>40929175
Sounds like a kids movie

Told my no longer best friend to not show his face around town.

Apparently there was something in the way I said it, though. Next time he saw me he ran off.

>I'm a 5'7" manlet that "lifts"
>he's a 6'3" I swear to god I have a black belt fat as fat ass