*blocks your ear*

>>40757343
Finally an occasion to show off my flexor tympani gains

one time i had a sticky black ball of earwax fall out of my ear unexpectedly

>>40757455
I once blew my nose and a huge fucking snot marble came out

>>40757455
I was taking a shit the other day and a live turd fell out of my anus.

>>40757455
I was rubbing my peepee once and a trail of slimy goo escaped my donger

>>40757832
what did it taste like

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>>40757832

>>40757343
Wat?

>>40757455
It was a chunk of your brain

>>40757805
Wat? Live turd? Wats that

I went to the doctor one year ago and I had never had my ears professionally cleaned and he said they were clean and didn't need anything

I use q-tips daily

>>40758663
Q tips are bad for your ears though. Preferably nothing smaller than your pinky should enter it.

>>40758663
>I use q-tips

dontdothat.jpeg

>>40757343

Earwax extractions are satisfying as fuck desu

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=99u02vOvNvg

What is your ear cleaning routine bros?

Every fucking 3 months one of my ears blocks up and I lose literally 90% of my hearing. What is wrong with me /fit/?

>>40759016
Same here. Doctor said some people just have excess earwax and there's nothing to really do about it besides cleaning it up every once in a while.

I'm considering looking into home solutions.

>>40758962
every 3 months or so randomly decide to look into my earbuds, clean the wax that accumulated in them, then clean my ears.

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>>40757455
>>40757487
>>40757805
>>40757832
>mfw this thread
I clean my ears every morning

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>>40757343

Couple years ago my left ear went deaf.
Went to local walk-in clinic.
Chubby male attendant merely used warm H2O and Hydrogen Peroxide (H2O2) to irrigate my ear canals.

>warm water felt nice.

Afterward, for about 24 hrs, everything in life sounded as if the "Treble" control was turned up to 15. Hsssssssss.

>I think it began with my earbud use. I now use over the ear phones.

>>40757455
One time a bloody slime covered little dude crawled out of my cooch.

>>40759393
>>40759016
I had this, don't use cotton buds (Q tips for amerilads) and use the jet of your shower to fill and empty your ears a few times every time you shower

>>40759900
mama?

>>40757343
>That feel when no GF to mimi your kaki
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S0UMDFzi1v8

>>40759016
This fucking happened to me one time when I was getting out of the shower on 3 tabs of acid.

It felt like there was water caught in my ear and I spent the entire rest of the trip clawing and shaking my head to get it out. The next day I went to the Dr. and they flushed out a giant ball of wax.

>2014
>still using q-tips
>not just using warm water when showering

>>40757846
this pic is fucking gold

>>40760055
I have extremely tiny ear canals so water get stuck every time but after I shower I use wet q-tips then dry ones

>>40758948

>Jazzmyne

Oh right, it's Buzzfeed. Kek

>>40758795
Ew you never clean your ears? Nasty cunt

>>40760463
this ear doctor says you shouldn't use them
>>40758948

>>40757343
Not using a few drops of oil to dissolve that shit

Just got diagnosed with strep throat, the bacterial kind (thank god, it means I can use penicillin)

Every time I swallow (no homo) it feels like I'm swallowing shards of glass. How to get rid of the pain? Paracetamol isn't doing fucking shit and I can't get a hold of any opioids at the moment

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>>40760524
Toughen up, it builds character.

>>40760507
Yeah because he wants you to see him to get cleaned instead of doing it yourself

>>40760545
fuck

>>40760554
The cancer surgeons want you to smoke?

>>40760524
You can always gargle salt water. Doesn't help for long but the saltier the longer the pain relief.

>>40760576
Yeah actually they do

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>>40760715

>>40760740
>implying they don't need the work

>>40760754
Surgeons aren't paid by the surgery you fucking dip they're salaried.

>>40760785
Yes they are dumb cunt
>get lots of patients
>get lots of tax payer dollars
That's why they what you to see them a hundred million times and experiment with 500 different medications before they figure out the right one

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>>40760803
We're done here

>>40760803
look mate, I don't know how health care is provide in your third world favela but that's not how it works in a real country.

>>40760816
You must live in a country with shit socialized (socialised) medicine

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>>40760832
Jealous amerinigger doesn't understand how basic civilisation works
Stay mad cunt

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>>40757455
A round thing that holds earrings was stuck in my ear for almost a decade. I went to a doctor about it and he thought it was just ear wax. It somehow fell out when I laid my head down for sleep. I felt someone coming out of my ear and my hearing suddenly improved.

>>40761006
how did it even get in there in the first place

>>40761050
I have no idea. I don't even wear earrings.

Just put a drop or two of cooking/olive oil in your ears. After a couple hours the wax will literally drip out.

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>>40761065

sorry brah, that was me. stuck it in their for the bantz

>>40757846
Imagine the retards who would find that pic funny

Once I had two blocked ears on holiday. I didn't know any doctors and it was driving me crazy. In the end I got the wax out by using my camera's squeezy lens blower thing as a syringe. It took ages but it worked.

To turn squeezy lens blower thing into a syringe, just take the brush end off and cover the hole when sucking the water up.

q-tips are fine as long as you don't actually stick them into your ear canal. They're good for cleaning out all the nooks and cranies of your ears.

>>40757343
i hate this hsit

Doctoral brotip for all of you.

Get a syringe with a flexible plastic tip. Fill with warm water. Insert into ear canal and spray. Repeat until blockage clears. You can add some hydrogen peroxide if the blockage is very difficult to clear.

DO NOT USE COLD WATER EVER. You'll get bad vertigo/nausea/dizziness for upwards of several days.

Warm water about body heat is the best.

>>40761821
(You)

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>>40759868
>>40761944

I do too, but I wanna stop because these are actually really bad for your hearing. After using them, I can hear my ears ringing and apparently that's my hearing getting worse.

I know bros, it feels so fucking good to just twirl that bad boy in there. But it's really, really bad for you from every doctor I've asked or heard.

>>40762636
directions unclear, punctured eardrum with needle

If you're not completely retarded using qtips is fine. Push it in while keeping it away from the walls of your ear canal then press to one side and pull out, repeat until you get all the surface clean.

If you go jamming the goddamned thing in and twisting and ear-fucking yourself with the qtip then it's gonna mess your shirt up.

>>40759016
My dude... this has been a problem wit me since childhood. 22 now and I had to have my ears flushed out with wax softening drops and everything literally three days ago. Just be thankful for Western ear lavages that don't exist in every country.

>>40762772
I have had one doctor say that its not bad necessarily if you don't go too deep and know the technique but he also said "You might think you know how to do it, but you don't, so don't do it". Apparently doing it too aggressively can also lead to infections and whatnot since the wax actually protects the ear or someshit.

>>40759016
stop cumming in your ears

>>40757455
one time my doctor shot water in my ears and huge gunks of wax flew out

>>40757368
Underrated comment

>>40763254
>water

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>>40757455
>be 14
>wake up one night with an awful pain in my ear
>tell parents
>mom pours hydrogen peroxide in my ear
>mfw a bug floats to the surface
>mfw it starts crawling on my face
>mfw my dad smashes it on my face

>>40757343
WHAT?

>>40760524
Dextrometorphan and loratadine in the for of syrup.

>Not washing your ears in the shower
>Not washing literally everything in the shower
i even clean my nose in the shower

>>40759016
Not earwax. Might be an infection of the tubes that go between ears and your mouth, regulating pressure. So what you have is a hard ball of spit

>>40764336
>>mfw it starts crawling on my face
>>mfw my dad smashes it on my face
made my day

>>40757455
this happened to me in an interview once

>>40761006
>>40761065
That's fucking hilarious.
That reminds me of when I had to go to ER to get 2 confetti bats pulled from out of my nose. I was like 3 at the time. Thankfully they were able to get it out with tweezers,

>>40766240
that reminds me of the time I got a McDonalds straw stuck in the barrel of my mosin nagant. thankfully I was able to get it out with tweezers

>>40762772
>apparently that's my hearing getting worse.
There are a lot of reasons for your ears to ring and not all of them have to do with hearing loss, but yeah avoid doing anything that will cause that.
I have tinnitus so bad I wanted to kill myself when it first started. Don't fuck up your ears

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>>40766465
>>40766612

>>40764336
BUG SMASHED FACE

>>40759900
That was a gains goblin. He was trying to escape with all of the muscle you'd put on in the previous 9 months.

>playing with q tips with siblings when I was 3
>brother slaps q tips that were hanging out of my ears
>REEEEEEEEEEEEE
>have to go to the doctor to get them removed
I still remember that shit.
I still use q tips daily tho no problems

>>40766823
qtips are not to be put in your ears.

no one buys them for anything else. kek

>>40763048
Can confirm. Ruined 3 shirts this way

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>>40764336
>Be 34
>Autistic son wakes me up screaming
>Wife asks yahoo answers
>No hydrogen peroxide
>Uses bleach instead
>Iknowwherehegetsitfrom.jpg
>Need to shut up kid
>Get idea
>Grab bug from outside window
>When wife isn't looking drop it on sons ear
>Mfw i smash the little shit
>And the bug
>Tfw dad jokes in greentext

>>40763254
Best feeling desu

>>40766529
>tfw had tinnitus my entire life

:(

nah im just fucking around, it aint that bad. it only becomes salient when someone mentions tinnitus or i think about it. like right now. :(

>>40767974
breathe in
breathe out

nah I have it too because I was stupid enough to shoot without earpro, it only happens when I'm in total silence. Like sitting on the toilet and the entire universe just stops kind of silent

>>40766465
>>40766612
delete

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>>40766612
>pulls it out of the ear
>doesn't immediately flick it and stomp on it
>instead sets it back on the ear just in case the leg the tweezer is holding breaks of and it makes a mad crawl back inside the ear

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Back when I was 390lbs I once got my right ear clogged with dust from some knock off Oreos I bought from Lidl

I had like 2 in my hand to shove into my mouth but felt a burst of sleepiness and rested my hand against my head and napped, without realising I had cookies in the hand.

Woke up and had smushed them into my earhole. I was too ashamed to go to a doctor so I walked around with a black stain lodged in my ear for 3 months giving me headaches until the cookies eventually fell out of my ear when I was in bed.

I ate the crumbs, they tasted like sweet ear wax

>>40760087
i thought it was a dog

>>40760554
I think its because dumbfucks push them in to far and they burst a ear drum.

>>40769154
>I ate the crumbs, they tasted like sweet ear wax

Jesus Christ.

>>40757455
I actually had this once
>tfw you thought you hearing was fine and all of the sudden it gets better

>>40757455
>>40757487
>>40757805
>>40757832
>>40759900
never change /fit/

>>40769201
Don't ever tell me how to live my life.

>>40762636
m8 i think i just injected water into my brain, wot do?

>>40769218
Dont ever tell me what I should or shouldnt tell you

>>40766776
The 9 month ab workout. Mike Chang hates her!

>>40760524
dissolve aspirin in lukewarm water, gargle and swallow

>>40769154
For god's sake.

>>40760507
>guy selling ear wax clearing tells people it's very dangerous to do yourself and please gib money
wow, surprising.

>>40757343
I once put a watch battery in one of my nostrils. It got so deep I couldn't pull it out, so I panicked like the 5 year old shit I was.

I then blew my nose so hard that I was able to get it out. Not without obscene amounts of blood, of course.

>>40769982
I wouldn't worry if I was you. You might actually get smarter.

>being a naughty boy and using a q-tip on my ear
>suddenly pull out and suddenly my hearing clarity increases dramatically, at least 30%
>look at the q-tip and see a huge, sticky chunk of ear wax on it

Was such a satisfying feeling.

>>40771179
To be fair, there are some dumbshits out there who don't figure out they've got a huge clump of shit in their ear and then just push it in because they don't realize they've gone straight past lightly-clear-out-extra-wax to dump-some-hydrogen-peroxide in there and try to get that fucker to fall out.