>first day in gym >cant even deadlift the PVC pipe

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>first day in kindergarten
>still can use he monkey bars

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>gym falcon lays eggs
>stand in line for free baby falcon
>hatches the next day
>they're actually pigeons

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>cant lift the protein powder container
HOW THE FUCK DO I GET STRONGER THEN

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>first day in gym
>get raped in the shower
>he didn't want to cuddle afterwards

>not being able to deadlift 135 on ur first day
wow wtf

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>walk into gym
>can't even open the door

>>40681849
>they were automatic :'(

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>first day in gym
>can't figure out how the plate dispenser works
>there's no signs on how to do any of the machines
>do some calisthentics on the yoga mats and leave

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>>40680340
>first day in gym
>try to practice bodyweight squats
>pinned under my own mass

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>>40680340
>try to get up to go to gym
>cant lift myself out of bed

>>40682127
>time to go to gym
>pinned by the mass of my own cock

>>40681874

I'm ethereal

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>gym orangutan ate out of the mulberry bush I planted in the locker room again

>go to Planet Fitness
>go to deadlift a new pr
>lift as hard as I can
>bar starts going up
>lift it all the way up without even struggling
>fuck yeah
>bar keeps going up
>what.jpg
>is soon over my head
>slips out of my fingers
>embeds itself in the ceiling
>lunk alarm goes off
>get kicked out
>mfw I forgot that it was Mercury day at Planet Fitness and I lifted under 1/3 the gravity

>>40680340

>first day in the gym
>brought my mom with me for taco tuesdays
>little did i know i forgot to pay cover charge
>they take my mom as collateral
>have to work night shift all week at mc donalds just to get enough money to free her
>next week
>finish up my tacos and go to the gym headmaster to get my mom released
>find her locked up in the gym bench press dungeon missing a leg at the hip
>turns out my mom's leg was delicious
>make sure to forget to pay cover charge again next time
>protons abound

>>40680421
Dead

>too weak to press button to use treadmill

>>40682636
Underrated

>first day in gym
>forget to tip plate boy

>Go to Gym
>Chest press
>realize u forgot to put deodorant before leaving
>Walk out of gym after people start looking at you

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>gym doesnt have a built in kinorama
>gym threatre doesn't serve king crab legs
>gym has a no singles policy

>>40681539
>Deadlifted one 35lb plate my first day

All good senpai

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>Too weak to squat, forced to use assisted squat machine
>Manlet next to me doing bodyweight squats + 45 lb kettlebell keeps looking at me and giggling

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>>40680340
>start browsing /fit/
>decide I should get /fit/ myself
>do some research, decide to start greyskull LP
>find a local gym that has squat racks and all the shit I need
>wake up the first day of lifting
>too fucking weak to bench press the blanket off my body
>wait for roommate to get off work to help me out of bed

gym life is fucking hard brehs

>>40682127
Francis, is that you?

>>40683411
The first few weeks I was scared of doing actual squats so I always used the smith machine. I kept wondering why everyone would look over at me when I used it.

Fug I feel so ashamed looking back now.

>>40683737

I tried the smith machine on day 2 .

All squat racks were busy so I decided to squat with the smith machine instead.

That thing should be banned in every gym. Every exercise becomes easier .

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>>40680340
>supplement stack too heavy to lift

>walk into new gym
>chad stops me before I can get in
>makes me get my height measured
>5'11.5"
>have to go the manlet section from now on

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>>40680421
>tuesday
>doing squats today
>forget my squat plug
>ask another guy in the locker room if I can borrow his
>looks at me weird and asks what that is
>he gets a discusted look and walks off
>see him talking to another guy who also starts looking at me funny
>when I try to walk past he bumps into me and yells "WATCH IT!"

What's wrong with people at my gym? I just needed a squat plug.

>>40680340
>first day in gym
>plate kids ignore me cause my plate to time ratio is bad money

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>>40680340
>tfw can't lift my own arms

>at the gym around 2 weeks ago
>they're still handing out blunts for black history month
>get a grape flavor, light it up
>head over to the decline smith machine for some bird squats
>not even tired after my first set
>so stoned I forgot to get plates from the plate dispenser
>plate dispensers are all empty, wtf?
>grab dumbells and do 5 miles of weighted overhead marathon carries
>finish up with some Rosemary strikes and
>head to change
>my favorite showergirl isn't there
>find out from the backup some guy snuck out of the virgin lockers into the normal ones and showered with her, they gave her a week off and fired the gym falcon
>and it turns out the reason they're recalibrating the weights is because the virgin admitted to lifting with plates and a barbell

I'm probably gonna find a new gym. I don't wanna think about what could have happened.

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>order 600g creatine through postal serivce
>go wait a day before arrival of creatine(mommy had to open the door for me as she had work the next day and couldnt open the door for me then)
>qt cashier, go ask for my package
>she brings it, i pay for the package
>do a quick spiral turn holding creatine with both hands, accitentally pull the creatine on the floor as it was quite heavy(should have ordered wagon to have actual succesful attempt to bring creatine home)
>fall down with the creatine, the package opens and creatine splats all over the floor
>half crying i try to sniff the creatine to get back as much as possible for the loss of my mommys money
>realize my jacked is too heavy now, cant get up
>everyone is laughing at me
>do rolls to get away from there
>mommy bans me from getting fun time mommy money for weeks

>>40682636
Kek

>>40684521
wtf did I just read?

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>>40682636

>>40684052
If this is serious...You need to see a doctor because there is a very likely and extremely high chance that you are mentally retarded. I'm not being funny, either, you really do seem retarded based on this encounter you stated.

Furthermore, what the fuck???

>>40683322
>Forgetting to put on deodorant
And I thought they just chose to be slobs.

>>40682127
I don't like this picture

>>40680340
>crouch down
>can't even deadlift myself back up

>>40685600
hi newfriend

>>40684875
do you even lift?

>>40684521
lmao

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>>40685600

>>40684038
If only. It fucking sucks I can't shit on manlets anywhere but the Internet.

>>40686222
>when shit posting is your entire life
Social retards

>>40686510
what thread did you think you were in?