>tfw forgot pl8 dispenser tokens

>can't find right hand dumbbells
>use left for both arms
>gym license suspended until I calibrate 3 treadmills

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>>40637512
>tfw didn't an extra protein shake for the cage security guard

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>tfw couldn't curl in the squat rack so had to workout in some random area

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>>40637512
>walk into gym
>mandatory penis inspection day
>have to be at least 8 inches

>mfw gym license is suspended for 1 month

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>>40637512

>set up for 2 pl8 squat max
>unrack it, get it down perfectly fine
>making steady progress on the way up, excited because i've been stalling at 1.9pl8 for months
>Gym Clown squirts me with seltzer water and honks my nose
>I drop the weight and it clangs into the safeties
>Gym Ring Master comes over and starts scolding me
>"The Gym Clown is free from sin" he says
>kicked out for 1 Lunar cycle

my gains are fucking ruined

>>40637512
>power rack was unplugged

>>40637578
>had to do the same at my gym earlier because it was so busy
>Gains just released into the gym for other people to take instead of into the Gains Collector on the power cage
>only make 40% progress

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>enter gym
>put in 2 tokens for 5 minutes on squat rack
>get ready for 3pl8 max
>hype myself up for huge PR
>get under bar
>go down easy
>start struggling on the way up
>squat rack runs out of time half way up
>mfw stuck in the gym until morning when the gym attendant shows up and lets me out

>mfw gym license suspended for 4 months

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>>40637532

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>be me
>want to do a new exercise
>do this thing called "romanian deadlift"
>dintr-o data imi vine sa ciordesc ceva
>fur toate greutatile de pe bara si le duc acasa
>fur si bara ca s-o duc la fier vechi
>fata mea cand

>>40637717
>doar greutatile de pe bara
De ce nu toate greutatile din sala?

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>>40637717
mfw

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>go to do Bench
>It's unplugged
>goddamnit I go back to the counter
>"to plug in the bench is 30 tokens kiddo"
>"ok well I'm out of tokens. But I have 500 prize tickets what will that get me?"
>"500 prize tickets? You can either get a squat plug, a Calvin Klein men's underwear magazine or two Barbie dolls"
>"I'll take the Barbies please"
>"Ok kiddo have fun"
>"You too"

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>>40637830
Tasty pasta

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>>40637607
>"The Gym Clown is free from sin" he says

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>mfw the drunkard of a boilerman had passed out during his shift, so the fire had went out, and the gym was so cold when I got there that I sprained my sphincter while squating

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>enter the gym through the airlock
>take my falcon Hippias to the roost room
>I recognize a couple of the birds there, as they belong to my gym buddies
>walk through the market trying not to draw attention, as I don't want the merchants to start bartering with me
>one of the biggest guys in my gym is waiting for the butcher to slaughter a post-workout goat for him, and I give him a nod as I proceed deeper to the gym
>"You like what you see?" one of the prostitutes says teasingly as I walk past her, but I don't care
>I'm not wasting any precious, protein filled sperm for a harlot; that would ruin my nearly autarkic protein economy
>As I walk down the hallway, I can already hear the commands from the gramophones: "Concentric, eccentric."
>I pass through the door of the inner sanctum
>as I have a Platinum Card™, I'm allowed to use all of the equipment and weights
>I see a young lad finishing a set of squats
>he only has a Silver Card™ hanging from his neck, so I would be fully within my rights to tell him I'm using the rack now
>however, I see too much of my former self in the young boy, so I decide to let him finish his sets without interrupting him
>I know my workout plan says that squats are the first exercise, but the gains police of the gym is a bro-tier fellow, so he wouldn't probably even mind if he found out
>do leg press instead, and hit a new 13 rep PR
>we're all gonna make it

>be in locker room
>feed protein shakes to the little jew boys that have been hiding in my locker in exchange for his cum to boost my test
>hear footsteps from outside, its the gym gestapo, they want to do a shakedown (these come once a month so we're prepared"
>im a skelly fag, but I wear baggy pants. order each one into a seperate pant leg, making my lower body look unbelievably disproportionate in comparison to my frail upper body
>officer comes in, checks my locker and finds nothing, gives me a strange look and asks what i have in my pants
>tell him i do SS, and he laughs and apologizes
that was a close one but I may not keep getting so lucky, when the wars over i just hope ill be rewarded with shekels in zion

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>>40638175
Delete that!

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>>40637532
>right hand dumbbells

kek

>>40638443
Don't open the link.