>barbells are prohibited in the virgin section of my gym

I only need dumbells anyways faggot

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>oldest person in the virgin section of gym

>Mfw the platinum-virg membership allows you to take (1) barbell to workout with
>Mfw the membership still has a strict no touching policy for virgins
>Mfw no face

>the plate dispenser charges a higher fee in the virgin section
WTF IS THIS BULLSHIT?

>>40624980
Wow man just get out there drink smoke talk fuck

https://chat.whatsapp.com/DQc1uEewovb19IWOvUQOah

>>40625370
Where?
Everyone's gonna get weirded out if you just go to a bar alone and then start walking up to people.

>>40625414

I swear to god, I was doing curls the other day when a Department of Gyms, Fields and Tennis Courts agent stopped a woman on an elliptical and escorted her to the virgin section.

Overheard him on the radio, apparently she's a Mormon and it was her second infraction.

>>40625414
Not if you have a good opener, like some fresh cooked spaghetti in your fanny pack to share.

>>40625414
If you're attractive and don't stutter "Hi, I'm anon I don't believe we've met" is probably the most effective line you can use.

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>tfw the gym bar gets craft protein shakes on draft

>>40624980
Fuck fat or ugly girls that you meet at bars dude

>Ask my gym bro to spot me in the shower as I shampoox1 SS conditionerx1
>His dick accidentally touches my left cheek
>Forgot to say no homo
>Pajeet's janitor sees as he's scrubbing shit off the walls
>Receptionist tells me I have been upgraded to the non-virgin membership
>Try to explain but she won't let me until I've tipped
>Can't afford that and the plate boy disciplinary paddle

IT'S NOT FAIR FOR US POOR FAGS

REEEEEEE

>>40624947
>Go to bars
>conversation goes like this,'hi I'm ano-'
>'fuck off'
>go on tinder/bumble/etc
>no one ever likes me, only two girls who speak to me refuse to meet up

A- am I going to make it?

>>40625529
>>40625547
I'm attractive, but I'm not confident when it comes to approaching women.
How can I just bee myself?

>>40626401
Get drunk.

>>40626408
B-but what about the gainz?

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>progress past all the weights available in virgin section
>decide I've got to lose my v-card so I can keep on gaining
>arrange night with hooker, we have sex, she signs the form
>next day leave the papers at the front desk to get my access extended to non-virgin equipment
>apparently special checks have to be made when the signee is a licensed prostitute so that people don't just pay them to fake having sex and sign the papers
>receptionist does everything on his computer which is linked to the big TV-screens in the gym (normally displays the playlist)
>everyone can see the picture of my face and the information being filled in next to it
>loss of virginity: "yesterday", method: "prostitution"
>can hear people snickering at me later during my workout
>one girl let out an audible "eww" and walked away when I started setting up on the empty platform next to her

It's not worth it brehs... My reputation is ruined and I can't change gym since I got the exclusive 10 year membership offer..

>>40624947
how does your gym validate virgin status??
at mine the check via the rectum

>>40626437
That's a meme. Alcoholic beverages have lots of carbs. Why do you think light beer is a thing?Low calories so you can drink more. They won't kill gains.

Any effect on testosterone will be counteracted by the benefits of lifting, and then some.