WTF is wrong with my body

>>40578249
Continue lifting and consolidate your diet.

Either you diet is complete shit or you're not actually increasing your lifts every workout

>>40578249
just od on some steroids man.

File: My Snapshot_2.jpg (25KB, 640x480px) Image search: [Google]

25KB, 640x480px

Lift

File: hank.jpg (5KB, 321x272px) Image search: [Google]

5KB, 321x272px

>>40578249
sorry anon

>>40578261

I am increasing my lift consistently, but they're incredibly low (e.g. I bench only 110 lbs. for 9 reps last workout) because I'm weakling. I ate a lot the first 2 month but then cut down because I was just getting fatter in lower body, which defeats the entire point of me lifting in the first place.

nothing, you're just kindve high bodyweight with little muscle.

>>40578274

I've considered that but I haven't been lifting long enough to even and maxed out natty (if I ever even gain any natty) to consider that yet.

>>40578249

I'm betting you looked worse before you started lifting. You are still chubsome. There is nothing wrong with having Phat glute genes, in fact there are many that get to their target BF% and find they have /noass/. You will not be one of them.

Lose the fat and keep lifting.

you will make it brah.

>>40578249
> lifting for 5 months

>>40578279

B-but, I have the opposite problem.

>>40578287
>lifting for 5 months
>not even benching 1pl8

wat

>>40578298
Probably this, maybe try more cardio if you want to lose weight.

>>40578249
>when you do SS for 5 months
>he feel for the SS meme

File: DLB.jpg (50KB, 425x642px) Image search: [Google]

50KB, 425x642px

>>40578287

1. You're not a weakling,,,,, you just need a spotter and start doing 5/3/1 ....

2. You need to make a *food journal*.... it sounds faggy.... but you need to know why/what/when/how ..... you can't eat for "fun".... you have to eat for "results".

3. Set small goals.... 5 lbs more for 2 reps next time you (fill in exercise)... keep moving up

4. Share your goals / progress with others --- even in a public space such as a workplace refrigerator. Get others on your side.

>mentally rehearse every time.

File: 1488497850264.png (80KB, 226x215px) Image search: [Google]

80KB, 226x215px

>>40578331

What routine is good then? I hit every major muscle twice a week. I basically started benching 80 lbs...

>>40578276

>>>/noass/ general

>>40578361

You can't claim I have no ass, I literally get made fun of for it at work and sometimes in public. It's like two disgusting bowls of jello attached to backside.

>>40578319
No, you don't.
Your glutes are non-existent, it's all just fat and you look like a non-athletic woman that sits on her ass all day.

>>40578402

Well glutes and quads are only thing that I don't work since they're already so out of proportion.

File: 1484348282456.png (451KB, 800x821px) Image search: [Google]

451KB, 800x821px

>>40578249
There's nothing wrong with you, my friend. Just be yourself.

>>40578249
your legs look normal sized you fuckin dumbass, and your ass game is weak af

>>40578414
You're an idiot.
You have zero muscle mass, you're just full fat and delude yourself into thinking that is "muscle size".

>>40578249
How many days a week are you working out?

>>40578249
Love yourself first of all.

Once you can do that look at this picture & judge for yourself.

You know what you are & aren't doing to achieve.

File: 1486861921940.jpg (224KB, 1080x1326px) Image search: [Google]

224KB, 1080x1326px

I'm sorry OP,

time to hit the ol' dusty trail

>>40578357
OP read the goddamn stick you a giga nigga. Do a program with linear progression. SS or SL or whatever the fiuck else. But you need LINEAR PROGRESSION. And then just eat enough and sleep enough to move up weight every workout. Shits easy, just do it

>>40578287
>I'm increasing my lifts consistently
>110 bench in five months

Yeah, no you aren't. You should be adding at LEAST 5lbs on every session. If you're stalling, deload a little and then continue adding. There's literally no way you're at 110 after five months. You've been skipping workouts or haven't been lifting at all

>>40578441

6 days

>>40578347

Thanks, good advice. Going back on paleo diet.

File: anglopepe.png (74KB, 333x333px) Image search: [Google]

74KB, 333x333px

>>40578449

1 / 3 / 2.

>my answer.

>>40578464
Post routine, let's see what you're doing wrong. It might be form too

File: you_re_gonna_make_it_kid.jpg (76KB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]

76KB, 500x500px

>>40578357

Not the same anon, but I'll bite.

>4 lifts...Bench and OHP for the upper body, curls to balance the bench and give you guns, squats to de-whiteboy that ass
>3 sets of each lift until failure
>If it takes more than 12 reps to get to failure you're too light...add 5 pounds next workout
>if you get to failure in under 8 reps you're too heavy...take off 5 pounds next workout
>add 30 minutes of cardio to each workout

That should get you started.

>>40578460

>You should be adding at LEAST 5lbs on every session.

Is this really what the average natty beginner does? I'm really in shit shape. Probably my shit test level.

>>40578414
You idiot. None of your muscles are "out of proportion" because you don't have any

>>40578525

I never said it was muscle. More of a fat/skeletal, maybe hormonal issue.

File: dontfeeltardy.jpg (80KB, 600x400px) Image search: [Google]

80KB, 600x400px

>>40578518

It's *not* 5 lbs for every freaking rep....

It's closer to 5 lbs for 1 or 2 reps at the end... just to get that extra stimulation, and overload.

You have to *overload* the skeletal muscle and then feed it (drugs allow more feeding) to get it to grow. The stupid 5 x 5 doesn't do that.

5 3 1 is a great overload principle, because if you don't have muscle in the first place, how the heck will 25 reps stimulate ? arrrrrrgggghhh.

>I need more beer.

>>40578518
I don't always add 5lbs per session but I at least add 5-10lbs per week.

Stop trying to blame shit on hormones or whatever, YOU are clearly doing something wrong. Whether it's diet, sleep, form, intensity of workout, etc.

>>40578654

I've been hitting everything 2 times a week. 6-12 rep range. 5 sets. I pretty much only increase 1 rep every workout. So basically I'm only increasing 2 reps a week and doing 10 sets a week for each muscle.

Now what am I doing wrong?

>>40578716
>12 reps

Literally cardio-tier. Drop to five or six reps and add more weight

>>40578716

Also I do increase by 5 pounds when I go up. Which clearly isn't very often.

You look like an average newbie. Your fat distribution doesn't look significantly abnormal at all, you're just clearly kinda on the chubster side so looking like shit is to be expected.

Stop nit-picking weird shit like a paranoid fucker. Eat good and train hard for more than 5 months and you'll be fine.

>>40578728

You should be increasing by 5lbs every time you are able to complete all of your work sets the workout before, not every time you are able to out-rep your past workout. You are needlessly retarding your progress by doing this.

>>40578716
I do 4x8. So I add as much weight as possible that I can consistently do 8 reps a set. If can do more than 8 reps I add weight. If I'm struggling I'll take off weight.

I'm still a beginner too but I think that should probably apply no matter what set rep scheme your doing. I think maybe your issue is you're not actually pushing yourself hard enough. Maybe you could actually add another rep or more weight but you're just afraid to push through.

>>40578801

So how many workouts do you typically do before you are able to add 5 lbs.?

>>40578249
Top Fucking kek

>>40578460
He did 5 pounds a session

He's been to the gym 13 times the last 5 months :^)

>>40578898
I do PPL 6 days a week. I go up 5-10lbs per week so about every other workout. I know there are better programs out there but this has been working for me so far.

>>40578249
>I've been lifting for about 5 months to even out my body,


Man, I fuckin love this shit. You've been a lazy sack of shit your whole life and you think 5 fucking months is gonna fix it?

I'd hit your thicc ass, OP.

>>40578726
my personal trainer used to give me 15 reps, and if I failed it, he told me to lower the weight.
thank god im behind that

>>40578249
>5 months
>Visible gains
Building muscle takes time.

>>40578515
FOLLOW THIS ANON'S ADVICE.
Seriously, you need simple structure if you've only increased bench 30 lbs in 5 MONTHS.

>>40579068
>personal trainer

LOL

>>40578249
Just keep on lifting and tweak your diet a bit (healthier+less/more depending on your goals) Mostly though you just need to be patient with yourself, man. Change takes time.

Okay, thanks, I took a little of everyones advice even if I didn't reply. Even got by without any brapposting.

>>40579462
For you

>>40578399
They're calling you a fatass, not saying you have a fat ass

>>40578493

You're crazy far right is the best

You should consider becoming a gay powerbottom.

>>40578249
>My lower body is way too large for a dude
LOLOLOLOLOL It's so hilarious every fucking time one of you posts this. You even posted a picture showing just how wrong you are.

Your legs aren't too big. The rest of your body is just small as fuck.

Also you just have sizable fat deposits everywhere so if you do something really dumb and neglect legs and focus purely on upper body, when you do finally get not-fat, you may find that you have chicken legs.

>>40579682
There are enough gay chubbyfat fucks already, heterosexuals can keep him.

>>40578249
You need testosterone you fucking woman.

File: Rep-Ranges.png (42KB, 1008x1008px) Image search: [Google]

42KB, 1008x1008px

>>40578716
Do 3x5 with heavier weight, work out 3 times a week not 6.
http://myweb.facstaff.wwu.edu/chalmers/PDFs/Rest%20and%20recovery.pdf
> experienced
athletes may train with 72 hours
of recovery between workouts of the same
muscle group.

Make sure you're sleeping enough and getting enough protein, somewhere between .8g/kg-1.6g/kg or .3g/lb-.6g/lb.
http://www.nutritionjrnl.com/article/S0899-9007(04)00099-1/abstract
>low to moderate intensity endurance activity has little impact on dietary protein requirements and 1.0 gPRO/kg/d is sufficient
>the maximal requirement is ∼1.6 gPRO/kg/d.

You're a skinnyfat low test numale, like 90% of the modern male population. Congratulations.

File: 8104334757_c3bebeb5a5_b.jpg (193KB, 683x1024px) Image search: [Google]

193KB, 683x1024px

>>40579983
How tho?

>>40578287
>110 for 9

There's your problem dumbshit.

>>40578249
You got a crack in your ass.

File: tumblr_m6682mxtuF1rt0g8wo1_500.gif (957KB, 500x281px) Image search: [Google]

957KB, 500x281px

ITT: Someone who is shit at lifting and has a bad routine gets told to take steroids

If he can't do a routine properly and is benching so little after 5 months then hormones aren't the problem and he's only going to do something stupid

Pick a routine, stick to it religiously
Eat at maintenance for however long it takes to get rid of that fat
Keep lifting

Job done.

>>40581410
This seems to imply, if you want hypertrophy lift any non-negligable amount. Even if progressing in lifts slowly

>>40578249
Your post makes me mad cause you look normal and I look how you think you look.

fml

>>40578319
not even close....you have a saggy chubby girl ass. work harder or go see an endo cuz you look bad

>>40578586

>It's *not* 5 lbs for every freaking rep....

yes it is, don't listen to this weak faggot

you calculate your 1 rep max, then you take 70-80% of that and do 5x5 with it, and you add 5-10 pounds every week or two

rinse and repeat until your lifts are no longer laughable

>>40578249
you live in aj?

>>40578460
He has just been doing too long sets, notice how he mentiined 110lb bench was for 9 reps

>dude increase 5lbs per workout
Is this a meme ? If you did that you would hit 3pl bench within a year.

>>40579611

Objectively right

>>40578347
>Telling a newbie to do a routine with the slowest progress of any routine
>He wants size so here is a really slow strength routine

I hate this board

>>40584289

No, i's correct for beginner programs and noob gains. Meaning you can increase that much for 3-4 months IF you are a novice, tthen eat, sleep and train right. I went from 1pl8 to 2pl8 bench in 2.5 months.

File: decabruce.jpg (67KB, 700x346px) Image search: [Google]

67KB, 700x346px

>>40583048

weak faggot here.

so if my 1 rep max squat is 425 lbs..... you're telling me I should be able to do *25* reps with 340 lbs.

>ooooookkkkkkkkkaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy

>>40578249
Squats and Deadlifts you fucking fag.

>>40578249
Just do workouts of an alpha, focus on high intensity stuff and not bullshit like curls, only do compound exercises. Sprinting works wonders on your body, run up hills, swim as hard as you can, just don't live a low T life. When you lift make the session very intense, not some crunches with 2 minute breaks or bullshit like that.

You just look like a lot of fat with no muscle.

Disclaimer: this is all bro science from me experimenting on myself and others.

>>40578249
>5 months
Also you're fat

>>40578249

You have scoliosis and klinefelter syndrome.

>>40578249
STOP BEING A FUCKING FAT NIGGER AND DO SOME SQUATS

>>40578249
>5 months
also you are fat
and don't expect hypertrophy with a strentgth routine

>>40578249
stop being a fucking retard and falling for the bulking meme. Address your shit eating habits first. you're obviously overweight. get to a normal weight like a normal person and then start lifting if you want.

>>40578274
Dude could also be your adrenal gland do you have any pain on your left side are you always tired or dont have energy or after eating you fall asleep if so you have adrenal fatigue could be minor or it could be pretty bad either go see a doctor or buy some herbal shit and B-5 and 6

>>40578249
ugh you have a man ass

>>40578249
Nothings wrong with your body, you acting like a bitch. Now continue your routine and add more shit people here tell you thats actually good advice and go get /fit/ faggot. Stop whining like a bitch and showing us your fat giggly ass you fucking useless sack of excuses.
>but muh test
If you werent such a bitch that wouldnt be a problem
Btw girls love asses, dont be ashamed of your jello when it attracts females bruh. Its gonna get better from here so dont get discouraged.
Stop being a faggot, we believe in you so dont waste that.

>>40578321
I know right stopped lifting a year ago started again and i could still do 2plate, i only lifted for 3 months the year before too.

>>40587803

How much is 1plate?

>>40578515
>implying you shouldn't do 5x5 on the main lifts.

>>40578287

>9 reps

Get out.

>>40587874
135lbs