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>gym guards take away my dagger

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Thread replies: 221
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>gym guards take away my dagger
>>
>I used to be a lifter like you, until I took a barbell to the knee
>>
>>40543819
XD
>>
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>accidentally went lifting with the plague
>half of gym hasn't showed up this month
>>
>gym wizard gives me protein dust
>turns out to just be protein powder
>>
>>40543759
>accidentally attain enlightenment during heavy OHP
>realize that we are all one and I don't even need to lift the barbell because the barbell is actually me and is lifting itself
>let go and drop 200 lbs on my head
>wake up a month later, no longer enlightened
Shitty
>>
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>>40543908

>gym wizard wants to give me protein powder
>forgot to toss my protein powder bag into the fairy fountain to increase its capacity
>have to decline
>>
>>40543819
*shin
>>
>Forgot to tip the front desk warlock
>locker is full of gremlins since then
Evil aligned gyms are the worst
>>
>>40543908
>gym wizard gave me a protein injection
>couldn't walk straight the next day
>>
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>gym trebuchet is out of order
>have to siege castles with manlets instead
>>
>gym fortune teller says i'll break a PR
>drop loaded barbell on Protein Refiller machine
>>
>>40544013
>siege castles with manlets
How does that work?
>>
>snap my shit deadlifting
>only gym elf on duty wasn't trained to heal
>>
>>40544027

Strap explosives on them and whip them into a frenzy, then herd them to castle walls for allahu akbar
>>
>>40544027
Human pyramid but thousands
>>
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>ask for advice on deadlifting
>gym necromancer almost makes me accidentally summon a skeleton
>>
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>go to gym
>hip carrying pistol
>squat 3 plate
>girls mirin
>moonwalk the fuck out

umm anon??
>>
>>40544027
Step ladder
>>
>just finished my 4th set, realize I forgot my water bottle
>gym paladin notices and gives me some holy water

t-t-thanks
>>
How do I convince the desk maiden to let my crew take on higher level machines?
>>
>all the iron equipment is taken
>have to use the old wooden equipment
>splinters all over my hands
>>
>break training sword from hitting the dummies too hard
>go see gym blacksmith
>total dwarflet kek, not even 3'9"
>>
>>40544104
In most dungeons you have to get past the PT quest first.
>>
>>40544065

kek
>>
ITT grade A autism.

>Tfw lift heavy on leg day
>Tfw cleric won't heal me Because his god is manlet
>Tfw have to pay for protein potions
Mfw
>
>>
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>gym guards tie me to the stocks for not yawning and drinking water between sets
>>
>take a plate I tought noone was using
>gym mage punish me for thieving
>fireball to my face
>>
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>Do you believe that my being stronger or faster has anything to do with my muscles in this place?
>>
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>not wearing armor to gym
>chortlingharlots.exe
>>
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>gym alchemists says he'll stop making strength potions
>>
>Take pipebomb to gym to scare off bullies
>I got arrested

wtf
>>
>>40544279
>no weight on leg press
>>
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>that guy who wears leg plates to the gym
>>
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>Gym pope declared a crusade against the crossfit shitters down the street
>Guaranteed 1/2/3/4 lifts if I partake in the bloodshed

Wish me luck brothers
>>
>>40544279
You lift hard and eat pigeon soup while LANCELOT eats WHEAT BREAD and still conquers the maidens' virtues
>>
>be me
>be dyel rogue
>be running on running wheel to stay fast
>in comes this jacked Barbarian guy definitely on potions of giants strength
>benching boulders
>oneitis elf starts flirting with him
>leaves with oneitis
>mfw

Should I just crossclass? :(
>>
>/fitg/
I could get used to this
>>
>>40544341
What's worse is he was a fukin orcnig.

Can we even compete with the BOC?
>>
>>40544341
just cloak and spec his ass next time he lifts something heavy over his head
>>
>>40544243
>Mr. Noone comes in
>he's also pissed
>gives you matching plate to the face
>>
>>40544341
Suck the gym mage's dick and get him to cast a weakness curse on him
>>
>>40544373
Fuck that dude, last time I sugged him off he broadcast it on a Arthurian woodburning Magen network. :/
>>
Hey there brethren! I bring news of a famed champion.

They call him Jeffrey of Seid. All bask in his glory and sing of his deeds! Even greater than the hero Zyzz.

What say you?
>>
>>40544412
Oh fugg
>>
BIG
ORC
COCK

You can't compete, your elven waifu is sending me lewd scrolls as we speak
>>
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>>40544471
DISPOS OF THI
>>
>>40544471
Race baiting ogger. The only female virtues you get are from the not so virtuous disease ridden swamp orcresses back at your home
>>
>>40544451

I saw Jeff Seid at a market in the town square yesterday. I told him how blessed I was to make his acquaintance in the flesh, but I wished not to be a heathen and bother him and ask him for tapestries or anything. He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face.

I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my poultry and vegetables up front I saw him trying to walk out the gate with like fifteen sweet meats in his hands without paying. The girl at the stand was very nice about it and upstanding, and was like “Sire, you need to pay for those first.”

At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the stand. When she took one of the treats and started examining it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to examine them each individually “to prevent any divine infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she examined each treat and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.
>>
>that guy who stands still in the middle of the gym for 6 hours selling his uncommon free weights
>>
>gym creeps getting stronger
>i make my offering to Vladimir and recieve 15% gains-steal within a 5meter radius
>>
>>40544580
That's heathenry m8
>>
>>40544013
That sounds like fun.
>>
>>40544320
I love this thread
>>
>>40544279
>girl in the back at :21

fucking lol
>>
>>40544573
its worse when he has to yell every minute

>SELLING FOR <1100 FIRE ENCHANTED HAMBEAST DROP RARE 51.99 LBS DUMBELLS MESSAGE ME
>>
>>40544689
Who wants Hambeast gear anyway? Do we look like we frequent the hog troth and tumbler brothel?
>>
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>tfw you have to go to a different gym and change characters starting at 0 month progression
>>
>>40544013
Fake n gay
>>
>in yon gymansium
>espie a fair maiden
>she meets my gaze
>i avert my eyes posthaste
>she approaches
>"Sir Knight, thou art most endowed with strength of the Body!"
>"A-aye, milady"
>"Were it you seated 'pon a jousting steed, I daresay I would bequeath upon you my favor"
>"A-and also unto you"
>Egg-noodles poureth from my satchel
>>
>>40543908
>pocketsand
>>
>>40544794
My sides!!!
>>
>gym squire offers me a towel
>grab it
>its wet
>>
>doing farmer's walk
>gym guard tells me no peasants allowed
>call him a gym rat
>he gets bubonic plague
>>
>>40544946

This is not funny
>>
>>40545057
>gym squire offers to wipe down machine for me
>let him
>sit down
>its wet
>>
>>40545079
>>
>>40545113
>ask gym squire to spot my bench press
>watch in awe as he takes a sharpie and draws spots on the bar
>"all done sir"
>his hand out for a tip
>mfw
>>
>he sips potions between sets

We shall not meet in Valhalla
>>
>forgot my +12 str underarmor at home

guess im not deadlifting today constables
>>
>>40545133
This is the worst fucking post I have ever seen. Still laughed tho
>>
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>preparing for deadlift
>finally see the potion seller
>ask him for his strongest potions
>he tells me they're too strong for me
>attempt to prove him wrong with a new pr
>snap my shit up
>"you'd better find a seller with weaker potions"
>mfw
>>
>>40545223
>ask gym squire to hand me the dumbell
>yawn, shut my eyes, and take a swig of mead
>he hands me a small brass bell in which he crudely carved "dumb" on the side of
>his hand it out for a tip
>>
>>40544946
>>40545079
>>40545133
>>40545248
Hahaha
>>
>>40545244
hello potion seller
>>
>>40545374
>tell gym squire to get my lifting gloves
>he is gone for hours
>go looking for him
>apparently he panicked and couldnt find them
>gym squire stole, slaughtered, and was in the process of tanning the hide of a local farmers swine
>mfw i have to pay for it
>mfw the gloves werent even good
>>
>>40545436
>same squire
>tell him to go fetch me muscle recover potions from nearby apothecary
>tell him to put it on my tab

Mf comes back beaten half to death toting an unconscious priest.
Pic related.
>>
>>40545476
>tell gym squire to deliver message to local lady i admire
>"something" happens
>find out he shoved a hot iron rod up another mans ass after the man farted in his face
>im supposed to pay for it
>mfw

fuck chaucer
>>
>>40545514
>walking along
>notice my squire is gone
>hear lady scream
>see squire raping innocent lady
>beat him on the spot and save lady
>ask to bed her
>bitch says no
>bed her anyway
>fastforward a week
>found guilty of taking a lady's womanhood even though bastard squire already took it
>set for death
>queen halts it
>challenges me to find out what women desire most or else i die
>whynot.stainedglass
>wander for a literal year asking every single woman what she desires most in the world
>1000 different answers because everyone is retarded in 1066
>find old hag
>she says she will tell me the answer if i agree to marry her
>basically have to, ill die if not
>day of reckoning
>tell queen women desire control most of all
>all women in room agree
>im forgiven
>remember i have to marry hag, she enters
>room laughs
>i sigh and reluctantly marry this old dirty hag
>she asks why im sad
>say she is a hag
>she gives me two options: either she stays a hag and is faithful or turns hot and sleeps around on me
>tell her idgaf let her decide
>she says it was a test all along
>mfw this old bitch hag warps back into the squire
>mfw he demands a tip
>>
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>decide to wear fire cape to the gym for str + pray bonus
>forgot my barrows gloves at home
>the bonuses were disabled anyways because someone snuck in for free, making the area F2P

FUCK
>>
>gymkeeper decides to double calf gains tax to balance the gains economy
>gymbandits frequent the calf machines
>the more experienced bandits are known to seize up to half your gains for that day
>calf gains potions are out of stock till next month
>>
>>40545557
>whynot.stainedglass
I split my lip, very nice
>>
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>>40544066
>2015+2
>not carrying RPG
>no pocket eggs
>no questing cape
>no gf
>excessive gyno
Why even bother?
>>
>>40543759
>gym sphinx banishes me from the free weights for getting its riddle wrong
>>
>gym witch flaunting her backside towards my visuals
>demand to the gymkeeper to remove this succubus at once
>gymkeeper throws me out and takes away my sash full of gym tokens used to enter the gym

Fuck sake
>>
>>40543759
>the gym twink keeps grabbing my ass
>>
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>>40545753
>the gym twink won't grab my ass
>>
>>40545759
>the gym twink pozzed my ass
>>
>>40545557

This is dank, I remember the actual story you're refrencing, it's one of the knights of the round table, right?
>>
>stamina buff wears off mid workout
>left creatine pots at home
>>
>>40543908
MAGIC ISNT NATTY
SORCERORS BACK TO YOUR CONTAINMENT THREAD
>>
>>40545759
>tfw gym twink replaced by gym twank
>>
>>40545244
>buy Potions of Great Mightfrom gym alchemist
>be careful anon you're not a high enough level to use those yet
>"yes Sir Dyel ill be careful"
>smug_laughing_helmet.tapestry
>use all the potions at once
>die in the Chamber of Dragons Breath
FUARKETH
>>
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>>40543759

>letting them take it from you

https://youtu.be/Khyzj5toqwA
>>
>>40545557
>what all women desire
>anything but VISAGE. STATURE, and NOBLE BIRTH
>>
>go to grab last barbell out of barbell stone
>it won't budge for some reason
>a few people saw me try and fail to get this barbell so im embarrassed and decide ill just do cardio today
>gym nemesis, guy named Arthur, struts up to the stone, grabs the barbell, pulls it right out
>everyone in the gym drops what they're doing and cheers for him
>he's crowned king of the gym

bullshit
>>
>>40544320
holy shit
>>
>>40543998
My fucking sides
>>
glow2:wave: sell 5k barbarian plates
>>
anyone know where i can buy potions? is it true they shrink your loinstones?
>>
>>40543759
>>see autistic freak who does starting squire from a blue scroll he keeps with him try to grab last barbell out of barbell stone
>>it won't budge for some reason
>>a few people saw him try and fail to get this barbell so he's embarrassed and does cardio instead
>>strut up to the stone, grab the barbell, pull it right out
>>everyone in the gym drops what they're doing and cheers for me
>>except the personal trainers who kick me out for breaking the smith machine
>>
>>40545557
>this bard hath described his expression upon seeing such a sight
>hath not bared this expression for all to see
>>
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>>40546913
underrated
>>
>can't brew any potions of lesser healing
>some ogre has been stealing all the milk from every nearby dairy farm
>>
>>40543759
srs question, does this happen to sikhs?

How does that work?
>>
>>40543759
>tfw lv 100 sneak no one knows I'm actually secretly working in all the time
>>
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>>40545021
>>
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>no matter how many times I wipe them out, the goblins keep coming back
>armorer threatening to stop making plate since it's all being scattered across the realm
>spot two elven maids making off toward whitehall carrying one of the one hand bars I had intended to dual wield
>there isn't another to match the lone one
>realize the gremlins have been masquerading as maidens all along
>>
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>that first quaff of the day
>>
>>40545244
underrated
>>
>>40544555
Fucking kekd.
Also mirin tripdubs
>>
>LMAO FULL PLATE
>>
>>40543893
kek
>>
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>>40544794
UNDERRATED
>>
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>>40545557
>that twist
>>
>go to lifting quarters
>ask liftmaster for a plate
>liftmaster replies he will grant one kilo with an additional one kilo per month until the sum is equal to a plate, in which case I can offer the same arrangement to another lifter
>>
>>40545244
>Deadlifts
You mean skull crushers
>>
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>1070 A.D.
>Mine love mutually partners Ser Chaddington to the chamber.
>DastardlyHarlett.bayeuxtapestry
>Meander astyred, aet mine hoisting emporium
>Bid to undertake a nine-stone death-upraisal
>Recognize the extent to mine famin, hast as yet to reach mine macros.
>Lower vertebrae beginst to tremble
>SNAPPETH
>Contract disease of mine lower back
>Sittesdth'st here striving to draw mine final breaths
>Meanwhile, Ser Chaddington beds fair maidens, despite being an hy (hoist ye?).
>>
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>In the gymnasium
>New training scroll from gym sergeant-at-Juicy-arms
> Finally get to deadlifts
> Howthrilling.Stainedglass
> Hands cannot grasp the bar as if greased
>Mfw my lifting level is insufficient
>Have to do Journeymanlifts for the next week
>>
>>40543759
>skipped tutorial
>too shy to ask dwarflet how to attach spear to barbell
>>
>>40544794
>"milady"
>*tips helmet*
>>
>>40543759
>the supplement machine ran out of alpha alanine again
>>
>>40547768
+1 for effort
>>
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>be scholar traveling on the Silk Road
>brief stop at Athens
>local senator invites me to the gymnasium
>not a single woman in sight (they are not allowed out of their quarters)
>introduce a me to several fair boymaidens
>tfw not have enough estate to purchase one as slave
>had only received fellatio while discussing astronomy with fellow scholars
>>
>tfw alchemist is out of berzerker's rage potions
>>
>>40544212
practice drawing hands more,those are pretty bad
>>
>>40544355

kekerino
>>
>>40544471
HIDE GOBLIN THREADS
IGNORE GOBLIN POSTS
DO NOT REPLY TO GOBLINS
>>
>gym crowded, everyone bulking up for summer tourneys
>all the freee weights are taken
>see these two brothers that are always there, decide to try to work in
>mfw one speaks the truth and the other only in lies and i dont know if i can work in or not so i just go home early
Fucking riddle-folk
>>
i fell asleep but i am back

>straight boolin in the yule tide celebration at gym
>ladies mirin, plenty of mutton
>suddenly giant 7 ft tall jacked green man busts through the window
>says some gay shit
>wants someone to deadlift him and then deadlift that person in a years time
>ffs its christmas im just trying to chill
>no one says anything for a while
>he says the king must be a fag cause he wont do it
>suddenly gym squire gets a big idea (fuck)
>gym squire declares "sir anon is the bravest of all knights! surely he will accept your challenge!"
>everyone stares at me
>its not deadlift day
>jesus christ fine, ill just do it real quick and go back to eat
>deadlift the guy
>his head rolls off
>wtf.partchment
>he fuckin puts it back on and says "cya n a year lmao"
>crowd is in awe
>faggot gym squire says "good job sir anon!"
>think about it all year, throws my lifts off
>finally yule tide again, leave gym to find the Green's Gym
>chill in a Gold's Gym that is apparently close by for a while
>the owner challenges me to trade gains everyday for three days
>mfw his wife tries to fuck me all three days
>i manage to fight her off but she still kisses me
>have to kiss gym owner because deal (no homo)
>last day she gives me a special lifting belt that will protect my back during deadlift
>dont give it to gym owner cause itll save me
>finally at Green's Gym
>scared for life
>thisisit.bardstale
>he barely even straightens his legs
>call him a softboy
>he pulls off a mask
>its the gym squire all along
>says he engineered the whole plot just to make me look cool
>wants a tip
>mfw i spent a year thinking about how i was going to die just because gym squire is a dumbass
>everyone back at home gym thinks im a stud for out deadlifting the green dude
>all i can think is 'Man fuck gym squires'
>>
>>40545886
>FUARKETH
I sharted a liitle bit
>>
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>buy platinum plates for 1000gold
>slay gain goblin next workout
>he drops diamond plates
>>
>>40549933
He still made you look cool and deserves a tip though
>>
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>gym twink keeps grabbing my butt
>take him to showers and destroy that boipussy
>got myself pozzed with vampirism
Going to the temple at sunset, wish me luck
>>
>>40543996
underrated
>>
>>40544451
Joff begone, if you please.
>>
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>damsel asks for spot
>spot her
>she says thank you and asks if there's a way to repay me
>refuse the reward
>she doesn't even give me an even better secondary reward for refusing
>>
>>40544794
lawdy
>>
>>40552410
Begginer quests only have one reward. Noobie.
>>
>>40545557
good shit
>>
>>40552465
>sleeping in
>gym squire kicks my fucking door in
>SIR ANON YOU MISSED IT
>pissed off
>apparently a giant fucking solid white deer just crashed through the fucking gym and ran off
>gym squire told everyone I would hunt it
>mfw gym squires bullshit forces me to do cardio
>>
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>Bring my own expensive gym accessories with me
to the gym
>Let fellow gym goers borrow them for a donation
to my non-profit
>Continue acquiring capital
>Offer to the gym owners repairmen/electricians
through me at a discount
>My contractors sabotage the foundation of the
building, the gym gets taken down by health inspectors
>Buy gym building at a bargain
>Previous gym owners get ornery and burn down my
new gym
>Collect insurance on my gym
>Get a new gym membership
>>
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>>40552536
Holy shit my formatting
>>
>>40552558
>tfw you read it like it's two narrators and one keeps interrupting trying to finish the other's sentences
>>
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>Be 9' Bearviking, high berzerk, big paws, Glorious fur
>Rough winter
>All fat is gone from long swim south
>Step into the colusseum
>barely claw heartychuckle12boar
>7' OrcMen Come over
>Starts grunting at my qt.pastry woman
>Maul orcmen, roar over dead bodies
>Halfmen Whenwilltheybelearned.pigeon
>later that night eating berries and mating with noble woman.
>>
>>40545557
>that Canterbury Tales reference
Guffawed
>>
My gym is in a rough neighborhood so you gotta carry to survive. I had my glock tucked into my basketball shorts and I was doing chin-ups and my shirt kept lifting up showing it. This cookie dough suburban dyel sweetbitch told one of the employees and they came over....
>their face when I show my chl license
They couldn't do shit but I was still pissed. Now each time I see that fag I lift my shirt to show I'm holding. I replaced that dyels BCAAs with hormone pills after it happened and he's starting to look ready.
>>
>>40544794
Gold
>>
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>>40543759
>he doesn't main a FS dagger under his shirt

Not gonna make it
>>
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>tfw pajeets are literal gym goblins always in packs jumping around stations
What are the other races? Blacks confirmed orcs?
>>
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>>40543893
heh
>>
>>40545903
guffaw'd
>>
>>40546116
>Arthur is king of the Gym fucking QT maidens while you shovel the treadmill horses shit and get cursed by the gains goblin holyman.
>>
>doing overhead press in full armour
>gym squire notices me struggling
>he grabs a towel
>when the weight is over my head, he takes my helmet off to wipe the sweat off
>lose my set bonus
>my arms give out and the weight hits my head
>steals my helmet as a tip

okay.triptych
>>
>>40543917
I chuckled
>>
>>40543917

my oh my I love these threads
>>
>>40544794

good
>>
>>40544320
lmao
Cant stand to do another dry pillage
>>
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>benchpressing on my pure account

>99 bench, 80 ohp, 1 squat, 1 diddylift,1 cardio

>low level asks me to spot him

>loads lvl 45 weight on bar even though he is level 20

> he can't do it

> getting the weight off of him might level up my diddylift and ruin my pure

>he dies and i wait 60 seconds to loot his grave

>new gym shorts
>working on my bench pure
>99 bench 80 ohp 1 squat 1 diddylift 1 cardio
>low level asks me to spot him
>he loads up level 45 weight even though he is level 20
>he is struggling too much, i can feel my diddylift about to get to level 2 if i spot him any further
>let go of bar and he dies
>wait 60 seconds and loot his grave
>just basketball shorts and bones
>ride away on hoverboard to prevent my cardio and squat levels from going up
>>
>>40554693

oops, well enjoy 2 versions of my tale
>>
>>40554705
This tastes of autism. Bearfag approves.
>>
>>40543996
Oh god my sides.
>>
>>40546999
sikhfag here, we usually have small gyms in our "churches" that allow ceremonial daggers

The no women part kinda sucks though desu
>>
>>40544794
This is on reddit now.
>>
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>accidentally leave my turn undead aura on
>kill two skinny manlets I mistook for skeletons
>>
>>40554693
you chose to limit yourself :^)

baka you are probably a smith machine prod
>>
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>take my sword to the gym to spar with the noble attendants during rest periods
>forget it's axe day
>mfw have to do the virgin walk while i rest
>>
>Mieleni minun tekevi,
>aivoni ajattelevi
>lähteäni nostelemahan,
>lihasta treenaamahan,
>painoja korottamahan,
>saanteja saamahan.

>Painot kämmenistäni lipevät,
>tangot putoavat,
>rankani katkovat,
>hampahani hajottavat.

>pasta housuistani virtaavi
>bolognese lahkeet sotkevi
>"Holy shit dude are you alright?"
>si-sinä myös
>>
>>40543996
>gremlins

We call them "manlets" around these parts.
>>
>>40549856
kek
>>
>>40544027
Launch them from the leg raise.
>>
>Alone at gym and need a spot for bench.
>Use conjuring arts to summon lever 35 minotaur.
>Gym bully uses illusionary spell to take control of it.
> Minotaur attacks while I'm pinned under the bar.
>>
>>40556239
>not using protection runes
You don't even gonna make it to Valhalla
>>
>>40544451
Jeffrey is a knave
>>
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>that earl that adorns all manner of robes yet cannot even raise one cart of grain
>>
>>40545592
kek
>>
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Is someone capping this thread holy fuck
>>
>>40555690
kekked
>>
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>deskmaiden requires 5 new PR's to begin courting
>only one lift yields PR
>guess I'll come back in a few days for fresh spawns
>>
>>40554860
Nice bro you should hang yourself
>>
>tfw no wooden tokens for yon burdensome load lord and must return to mine home gainsless in preparation the coming winter

Sad to say fate hath no maiden in store for me this harvest.
>>
>>40545557
Is this the plot to Mel Gibson's "What Women Want"?
>>
>>40556032
kek
>>
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>walk over to the Lat Pulldown machine
>gym Butcher has replaced the clips with hooks and is hanging a side of pork
>salting a whole pig on the bench

This is why I avoid Planet Fitness.
>>
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>someone peed in the halfling pit again
>>
>stalling on the water fountain for 4 fucking monthings
>>
>plates unavailable as the travelling wizard didn't replenish the gravity runes, rendering the plates regular discs of mahogany wood
>>
>He's stacking dex
>>
>>40545557
i love this thread
>>
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>be me
>heaving 4 stone
>a dyeh plebian approaches
>"might i heave these stone when thou hast stopped to rest?"
>you may
>only heaves 2 stone
>mfw
>>
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>>40544573
>buy featherweight enchanted barbell
>suddenly lifts go up by 15%
>>
>have to fight gym master to get crafting recipe for enhanced durability 45 lbs plates
>fail and have to pay 120x 25lbs plates

Better luck next time
>>
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>wrap boy puts knee wraps on my wrists
>>
>>40543759
>not teleporting behind them
>>
>the royal apothecary swapped my steroid sludge with steroid ooze

That motherfucker gave me bunk shit and now hes already in the next county exit scamming the next batch of heroes in training.
>>
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>Tsunami bar flew away and is now stuck on the neighbours roof
>gains are stuck as well to no oscillatory
>>
>accidentally level up deadlift skill in Planet Fitness dungeon
>agro goblins who raise the alarm
>goblins cast pizza
>"Encumbered. You can no longer run."

[Sigh]
>>
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>>40543759
>Be gym admin
>Typical day
>Chad McLancelot is harassing some maidens
>Check his inventory
>It's all +Str -Int gear
>MFW
>>
>>40544495
fucking humanlets, when they learn
>>
>agnostic curls
>Am religious
>>
>>40545662
>pocket eggs
Is that you, Trump?
>>
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>tfw maiden says her desire is a man of humble physique, but her truest thirst is for the physique of the well toned elvenkin of the woods
>tfw maiden sayeth how intellect makes her heart aflutter, but her yearning is not that of the true arcane but of bardic lore
>tfw hearts of all maidens actually desire elvenmode bards
>>
>>40544107
>>40544150
>>40544150
Heh
>>
>forgot my EULA (European Lifting Association) Approved dumbells. And licence to use heavy machinery. Got snitched on by plate boy and now have to sign prisoner acceptance forms when they come through in 2-6weeks.
EU disbandment when?
>>
itt: a lame ripoff of the dystopian absurdist /tv/ theater threads

chads were never that great at humor though.
>>
>>40543998
Top fucking KEK
>>
>>40559365
Fuck off nerdlinger
>>
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>>40543759
>jaunt over to jack turnip lane for a bit of heavy breathing while locomoting
>horse archers have occupied it upon my arrival
>>
>>40558192
stupid newknave
>>
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>walk into gym
> ATTENDE DOMINE
>ATTENDE DOMINE
>>
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>tfw priests interrupt your training in the name of god

when will this fucking priests stop bothering me?
>>
>>40544107
lmao
>>
>>40544764
lul
>>
this thread is pretty cash
>>
>>40559365
I'LL CHAD YOUR FACE
GOT EM!
>>
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> jewish qt at the gym asks me to help spot her bench press
>staring down at her fat tits while she's lifting and trying to keep my chubby under control
>she asks me if I'm ok
>get nervous and accidentally recite Adolf Hitler's "why we are antisemites" speech in entirety
>>
>>40559117
hah
>>
>>40561626

You ruined everything, faggot
>>
>>40562255
I'm op and he improved it
>>
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>>40552998
?????
>>
>>40557825
Kek
Thread posts: 221
Thread images: 68


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