>just ate 2 jars of pasta sauce PAIN IS AN ILLUSION

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>ate entire stick of butter like a granola bar

I PUSH MY FINGERS INTO MY EYES

but why

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>cleaned out a large tub of cool whip again

INSIDE MY SHELL I WAIT AND BLEED

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>just ate all the toothpaste again
WAKE ME UP INSIDE

>>40471694
My go to Friday after work meal when I was a depressed wageslave was one box of spaghetti (1300 calories), one dish of meatballs (700 calories), one jar of pasta sauce (800 calories), one half container of Parmesan cheese (400 calories) and a 2 liter of Diet Coke.

>forgot to activate my almonds before i ate them

CRAWLING IN MY SKIN

>>40473898
is that a hairy nipple????

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>>40471694
>drank a gallon of orange juice

Lol no joke my boyfriend just broke up with me and I ate and entire tub of ice cream... IDGAF!!

>>40474107
are you actively trying to not make it?

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>just ate an entire jar of mayonnaise thinking it was greek yogurt

MONSTER, HOW SHOULD I FEEL

>tfw accidentally ate the gym dog for protein while I wasn't paying attention
FUCK NOT AGAIN

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>>40474313

>>40474326
kek

>>40474190
i can be your bf :^)

>>40474537
How tall are you?

>>40474549
4'9 :^)

>sucked dry two cans of Fix-A-Flat thinking it was Reddi-Whip

shit

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>>40474559
You're a big guy.

>Couldn't do a full workout today because my legs hurt too much
I WAS BORN FOR DYING

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>tfw forgot coal to power the treadmill

DESPITE ALL MY RAGE

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>accidentally ate a loaf of bread today

KEEP BLEEDING I KEEP KEEP BLEEDING

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>>40474027
Why?

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>>40474559
L O N D O N
O
N
D
O
N

>ate all of the taco season with a spoon
SO STEP INSIDE
SEE THE DEVIL IN I

>accidentally drank my own load for protons
MY EMPIRE OF DARTS

>ate 4 scoops raw

CUT MY LIFE INTO PIECES

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>devoured the ol' fluff jar in 15 min
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLL HE AINT MY BOY BUT THE BROTHER IS HEAVY

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>Accidentally chugged all of the coffee creamer

FRIENDS FOR YEARS IMAGES IN RED

>raw garlic cloves on an empty stomach
AND I'LL NEVER HAVE THAT RECIPE AGAAAAIN

>>40471694
>Just ate 2 pints of Ben and Jerry's

Oh the joy of being 6' 160lbs, guess I'm doing the dreamer bulk

>>40474313
Dammit, he was a good doggo.
You go find a new pupper RIGHT NOW.
Don't get a tasty one this time.

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>>40471694
I ate an entire tub of Greek yogurt in one go
>mfw I'm on a cut

>accidentally broke the gym fuckboy by fucking him without lube
>manager had to put him down in front of a group of schoolchildren

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>>40474297
Bro. That's legitimately boogie-tier disgusting.

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>tfw just binge at 11 pounds of protein powder

>>40474665
I have literally done that before with grape juice

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>>40471694
> just ate a whole pizza

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>accidentally ate two deep fried 21 inch deep dish pizzas stacked on top of each other like a burger

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>>40471694
>finger my prostate with caramel flavored lube, just ate the whole tube
DIG, MY REMAINS

>>40474297

probably retarded how the fuck do you not notice

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>accidently *sipped* the cum jar again

CUT MY LIVE INTO PIECES

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>Bought full fat water instead of diet water
CANT WAKE UP

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>tfw accidentally drank two jars of bleach again

MASTER OF PUPPETS I'M PULLING THE STRINGS

>>40477191
I just thought it was the greek flavor

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>tfw when you fail penis inspection day and they take away your gym membership

WOULDN'T IT BE NICE IF WE WERE OLDER

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>drank an entire bottle of water

CRAWLING IN MY CRAWL

>accidentally sucked a guys dick again

STRAIGHT OUTTA COMPTON A CRAZY MOTHERFUCKER NAMED ICE CUBE

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>Take your guitar to the gym to impress the qts
>Some plays guitar better than you

I SAID MAYBE

>ate banana
THIS BODY
THIS BODY HOLDING ME
BE MY REMINDER HERE THAT I AM NOT ALONE

>ate a tub of moans
MAGDALENE LANE IS THE RED LIGHT DOMAIN
WHERE EVERYONE'S SOUL IS FOR SALE.
A PIECE OF YOUR HEART WILL DO FOR A START
BUT YOU CAN SEND US THE REST IN THE MAIL

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>took 3 scoops instead of 4
REVERAND, REVERAND IS THIS SOME CONSPIRACY?

>Accidentaly ate out my home gym MILF
sorry mom

> Ate an entire Stromboli in one go

IM FINE IN THE FIRE, I FEED ON THE FRICTION
IM RIGHT WHERE I SHOULD BE, DONT TRY AND FIX ME

>finished a whole bag of smores' granola in 2 nights

I DID MY TIME AND I WANT OUT

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>ate out my own asshole

THAT'S WHEN I PICKED UP THE KNIFE

>>40474104
What the fuck is the matter with you??

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>Tripped and accidentally ate a gym twinks ass.
IF LIFE IS A DREAM THEN WAKE ME

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>just ate 2 hives worth of honey

CUT MY LIFE INTO PIECES

>eat slice of bread
I PLAY POKEMON GO EVERYDAY I PLAY POKEMON GO

>just ate two whole trays of ice
FALLEN LEAVES, FALLEN LEAVES, FALLEN LEAVES ON THE GROUND

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>>40475960

>just accidentarry tripped over and ate my neighbors dog

把我的生活变成碎片

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>>40471694
>just accidentally unintentionally breath in

>>40477165
phft

> I just ate a Full pizza while the delivery guy was still watching since I hadn't paid him yet plus tip

>stumbled over a tree root and inhaled a bison

fucking genetics

>>40481532
>tfw benching lmao3buffalo for reps
How can white man even compete?

>>40477258
Amazing

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>Just ate an entire bottle of gold bond
WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP
CERTAINLY NOT
RAPED