>gym falcon laid eggs in the sauna again

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>>40407341
That's what you get for drinking redbull, you little faggot.

>>40407341
>dumb frogposter is stealing /tv/ memes again

>>40407341
>complaining about free protein
>making it

>>40407341
Keep your fucking hands off our memes you cunt. At least gyms don't have a no singles policy

>>40407341

>Step into the gym.
>Already in a sweat.
>It's a cold sweat, though.
>Arms day, my favourite.
>I spent the last 10 minutes hyping myself up inside my car.
>I need 100% focus, so I skip the small-talk with the receptionist.
>First mistake.
>I've already sprinting through the hallway as fast as possible, trying desperately to avoid the pendulum blades swinging from the ceiling.
>They've extended the hallway an extra 500ft since yesterday's training session.
>Hear someone cackling in the background.
>I look behind me and see the receptionist carelessly press the button on her desk.
>The entire hallway floor collapses inwards, and I fall into a musty pit.
>About 4 people in here already;
>Stuck waiting until Thursday, when they let us fight to the death for our freedom.
>Currently posting on the gym's free wifi.

>plate catapult is broken
>have to lob weights at manlets by hand

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>gym membership increased by 10%
>have to get a second job just to get gains

>>40409167
Sounds like they had a vacancy in the manlet pit.

>gym salesman int interupted me during my squats
>fell over and sprained my ankle, almost broke my back
>while I was crying he tricked me into buying surplus creatine for 200% the price

>Be in the gym.
>Doing 150 pound tricep pull downs.
>tri'slookinhuge.mpeg
>See the door open.
>Gym rival walks in.
>5'5 king of manlets.
>Triceps like a Greek God.
>This dude is literally 80% triceps, 20% water, and 100% steaming pile of cunt.
>Cardio bunnies call him "The Tricepatops".
>I fucking hate this glorified rugrat
>No words to describe my tricep jealousy.
>He waddles past me as I'm on my last rep.
>"Wow anon, keep this up and you might be able to weighted dips"
>I can hear the gym twinks giggling by the squat plugs.
>I cant let this fucker ruin my twink reputation.
>"Dammit Tricepatops, you know full well I can out dip you any day!"
>"Please anon, with small triceps like those I bet you couldn't even jerk me off."
>Isthatachallenge.avi
>With the force of at least 150 pounds I tricep pull down his Nike basket ball shorts.
>He is already 100% erect.
>I call him a faggotron and get to work on his manlet donger.
>He is taken back by my incredible agility
>Everyone in the gym is watching as I reach Mach speed.
>His blood and tears are my lubricant.
>"Anon! stop! Please! you don't know what your doing!"
>It's too late now I can feel his 4" benis throbbing in my hand.
>Canyousmellwhatthecockiscooking.gif
>Tri-ceratops explodes in a volcano of man milk.
>I catch every drop and swallow it whole.
>I gotta meet my protien macros.
>Everyone cheers.
>I spit on him and tell him I'm the head honcho now.
>With tears running down his face Tri-ceratops scurried towards the fire exit and vanished.
>tfw this was two weeks ago.
>tfw havent seen him since.

And that my friends is how I defeated my gym rival.

>>40407363
How was this presented in /tv/?

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>someone peed in the manlet pit again

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>the Gym Manlet accidentally broke the stilts
>the stilts will be under maintenance until monday
How the fuck am I supposed to do cardio now?

It's my lucky day, someone left their change in the plate dispenser.

>>40413010
7.75/10

>>40413010
You sure showed that faggot. I'm proud of you anon

Bros I'm pretty nervous
>Buttpad broke today, leaving my tooshie open to unwelcome guests
>Locker rape has been at an all time low, not too worried, I'll just grab a rental pad
>Get there, as I'm walking in an old guy hobbles past in nothing but a towel, cursing and clutching his asshole
>Turns out the gym had to cut the rental pads because of budget problems
>Nervous
>Go into the locker room, see some manlet beta get pulled behind a shower curtain, screams cut off
>Bunch of chads in the corner staring at me, whispering to each other
>One whistles as I walk by
Bros, what should I do?
I'm just sitting in the lobby...
Should I just cut my losses and leave my stuff in the locker room?

>>40413080
Strap dumbbells to your feet, manlet.

>>40413080
dont you have omni-rings in your heath centre

>>40413010
why didn't you just do the dip contest?

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>>40407341
>Not sucking down a female's fart to get the extra oxygen needed for the boost on your last rep.

>>40413260
whatre you, a pussy? anon got challenged to a jerk off not a dip

>Manual squat plug inspection day
>Haven't cleaned mine in a week
>fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck
>Try to 360 and walk out, but the Gymcop looks at me sternly, and puts his hand on his gun...
>Fuck
>Chad and Stacies all lined up
>Have custom squat plugs
>Bedazzled, spiked, some shoot flames, some vibrate
>All squeaky clean
>Inspector gets to me, nose already wrinkled from the smell of my gymbag
>Slowly pull out my stained, smelly squat plugs
>Fuck
>Mandatory squat plug maintenance class, 400$ fine, and three month ban from the gym
Goddammit.

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>Be me, lanklet
>Done with workout
>Decide to go for a swim in the gympool
>mfw enjoying a pool filled with cardiobunnys while manlets have to use a filthy puddle outside of the gym

>>40413222
take the dick like a man anon

>>40413222
Try to impress the chads by raping another manlet

>>40413288
fuckin fascist gymcops. things have been much better at my gym since the revolution

>>40413325
The manlet breeder ran out today, theres no more to rent

>>40413010
fuck anon im dying

>>40413328
Some communists from the crossfit part of the gym tried recently, and they all got a oneway ticket to snap city.
They kept their bodies up on the wall for 3 days as a message.

>>40413483
poor bastards. once your gymgoers reach enlightenment and seize the means of muscle production all will be well for you anon, and you will lift in a glorious musclebound utopia

Guys, are manlets protected under the geneva convention? I.e would it be legal to set up a organ donation business?

>>40413527
>he doesnt run an illegal 3D bioprinted organ shop from his mom's basement
get out you proletariate

>>40413527
At least in Europe you'll have to inform that the organs you're donating are from manlets.
I got my third heart in the mail a couple of weeks ago to increase my blood flow only to find out it was a poorly functioning manlet heart. I'm still waiting for the refund.

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>>40413010
10/10 story telling.
This needs a show with a while original cast of muscle-influenced characters. Riley the Bicexual ogre, Juan the Thighwanese trap, and Chesterson the Butler (Alfred's lifting alter ego).

>>40413010
5/10, but you have good potential

>>40413607
Bro under the open manlet reduction act of 2013, you're legally considered a manlet.
I wouldn't tell too many people about this.

>Manlet pit closed for monthly power washing
>Manlets running loose all over the gym
>Takes four fucking hours to get a curl rack

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>>40407341
New squat racks don't have ashtrays

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>>40413010
2 funny tbqh lad

>Some guy brought a bunch of his own 25s to the gym
>Totally fucks up the plate exchange rate
>Have to convert 6 25s to 24 5s to 2 45s and a 10 in change just to bench 1pl8

>>40413747
The fucking Manlet Awareness League needs to be gassed, these things don't have feelings.
I hate manlets so fucking much.

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>>40407341
>Go to gym today.
>Left quarter to unlock plate cart, had to go back to car (cold as fuck).
>Found out all the regular bars were on loan to the gym a few towns over.
>Had to use the manlet bar.
>5'10.5" so just over manlet cutoff.
>Gym jester starts laughing at me as I'm warming up my squats in the power tub.
>Throws confetti at me every time I butt wink.
>AlmondsActivated.emu
>Tell him to fuck off, push him lightly to show I'm not a beta.
>He trips over a spare squatting skateboard.
>Rolls backwards into the plate cart.
>45#s crush his chest.
>Police are called, get arrested for assaulting gym jester and illegal use of manlet bar.
>Now I have to do 100 hours of community service at the gym, putting plate carts back and oiling the cardio windmill.
>MFW

>Gym took the calculators off the wall for calculating how much weight the hole in the plates accounted for
I can literally feel my gains draining

>Cardio bunny sets up in front of my squat rack, starts stretching
>Downward dog, in yoga pants
>Fuck
>Erection detector on wrist starts beeping
>Tackled by 13 volunteer anti rape league members
>Penis confiscated
Not again, motherfucker

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>tfw socialist gym
>exceeded the monthly gain limit of 1lb of muscle
>the secret gym police confiscate 20lb of muscle and 5% of my bodyfat

>>40413026

I think it's he's talking about the cinema falcon

>>40407341
>go to gym
>gymcops are there measuring people's heights
>they found out I'm 5'11 even though my gym ID says 6'0
>get thrown into the manlet pit
>finally escape after two hours
>"the gym is closing in 20 minutes"
>skip my warmup sets and go straight to the coin-op plate dispenser
>it's jammed
>gym closes, on the way out get fined for not moving enough weight
Such is life

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>>40413288
>Bedazzled, spiked, some shoot flames, some vibrate
>some shoot flames

fucking lost.

>>40414098
Fucking manlet.
This is why manlet pits need hourly greasing, so you little shits dont crawl back out

...Muscles dont fix autism.

>>40413080
>cardio
>stilts

please enlighten me, preferably using MSPaint

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>>40413010

>>40414099
how do i get a neck like this?
yesterday i was a bout to fuck a girl and but when i took off my scarf she laughed and walked out of the bedroom.

>>40414640
>>>>2011
But good work

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>>40414640
this is why I come to /fit/

>>40414640
for what purpose anonumoous

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>>40414332
You walk in the manlet pit with stilts, if the manlets pull you down you'll become one of them.

>>40407341
>walk into gym with falcon
>see two dyels using bench
>look at falcon
>"i think you know what i want"
>2 minutes later my falcon is spotting me as i PR 3 pl8

>>40414808
Thats a really dry manlet pit.
Someone seriously needs to grease it, or the little cunts will get out.

>>40414808
>>40414640
Good work, autists.
Screen caps where.

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>>40414640
Anon you have no idea how happy you've made me, thank you.

>>40414640
kek?

>out of restroom tokens
>have to go to my car and pee in an empty bottle

>>40414640
Here anon, have a (You)

>go to the gym
>my best friend was assigned as the gym comedian
>i didn't laugh hard enough at his show
>currently locked up in the gym fridge because the manletmine was full

>>40416325
what kind of backward rules are that? the gymjester is hanged if he cant make people laugh in my gym, not the people if they dont laugh

>forgot to download my lifts at home
>forced to stream them in low resolution at the gym
>cut my quad on an artifact while deadlifting
>at that instant shitty gym wifi cuts out
>stand there for 20 minutes, blood streaming out, hips screaming
>finally it connects again
>one plate doesn't load, bar not balanced
>have to drop it
>get banned from gym for getting blood everywhere
>didn't even finish my set

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>someone didn't recharge the barbell after use
>have to lift without onboard computer
>halfway through rep get incredibly lost on way up
>crash head first into the manlet pit

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>>40414640
sorry its so shit /fit/ but i had to go out and was in a rush.

>>40413527
Yeah under the genova convention its piss

>>40413623
dude what? shut up retard....

>>40414835
It's 8 feet deep, even if one climbs the shoulders of another still can't get out. It's low but within code.

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>>40414640
Thanks for the oblique workout anon

Somebody screencap pls

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>>40414640

>>40414640
>le trollface meme
still pretty good though

>someone stole my squat tokens while I was using the restroom
>have to do my cardio routine a second time to get more
Fuck brehs my gains..

This fucking thread, man

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>>40413010

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>>40414640
Jesus fucking Christ lfmoa