New to the gym

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>>40369941
Run on the treadmill for 20 minutes then do random machines for 40 minutes. 10 reps to a set for 3 sets. Just be confident brah

>>40369941
I do

Squat 3×5
OHP 3x5
Power Cleans 5x3
Pull ups however many you can
Then some cardio for 20 minutes

>>40370108
wtf

>>40369941
Squat 400lb and adjust accordingly, it may be too light for you

Curls for your girl, treadmill so she thinks you're well rounded (lol no) and then hit the bench and crank out a few pull ups if you can.

>>40369941
>I'm 5'6 and 205
she wants you to stop being fat

How the Fuck do you have a gf and I don't

>>40371435
luck and/or low standards or just isn't autistic, though that seems unlikely considering his post

>>40369941
download stronglifts op. it's fun and easy for a beginner. if you stick with it for 3 weeks, you'll never want to stop.

>go to gym with ex gf
>she dicks about on cardio equipment while I crank out some bench presses
>comes back over as I'm finishing up
mimics my movements on the next bench along with a tiny bar
>gets bored and pours her water on me during my DB bench
>we go to the pool and have sex in the jacuzzi
>go home and fuck more
That's my only experience of lifting with women.

>>40369941
The sticky vanished?

Won't load for you?

Otherwise, the god damned sticky.

Hello OP, ill help you out with a non meme answer. What you are going to (or pretend to do) is a program called Starting Strength. Dont be fooled by the word "starting" - people stay on this for months. I know you dont care for the explanations of why this works, ill just tell you what to do.

1. Find a squat rack/power rack. Google it so you know what it looks like. Basically its a thing that holds the bar

2. Do 5 squats with the empty bar. Look up youtube on how to do it, practice with a broomstick.
>B-but anon! An empty bar? She'll think im weak!
No, its called a warmup set. Everybody should warm up with the bar. After you do 5 with the empty bar then add on 5kg on each side and do another 5 movements. Keep doing this until you reach a weight that the bar path starts to slow. Dont go any higher - youre too noob to know what to do if you cant finish your movement and itll be embarassing getting stuck. Do 3 sets of this working weight, meaning 5 reps, rest a few minutes, 5 reps, rest a few mins, 5 reps, go on to next exercise

Your next exercise will be the bench press. Same thing, start with the empty bar and increase.

>B-but anon! Google says Starting Strength has overhead presses!

No, dont do that. If you dont lift its going to be extremely hard and your first time will likely only lift the bar without any weights. Dont embarass yourself, do the bench press instead.

After these 2 exercises call it a day and wait for gf to finish

>B-but anon! Starting strength has deadlifts!

You cant learn the form in a day with respectable weight. Dont embarass yourself.

So after youve done 3 reps of squats and bench, (not including warmups) then you just hang around and say youre done, thats your program. It should take you around 30 - 45 minutes.

Remember to bring a towel and put it on the bench press seat before you lie down on it. Common courtesy. Wear covered shoes. No polo tees

Forget this entire troll thread and just read the sticky OP

>>40369941
Youre so fucked lol
>she will mire other dudes who are more experienced.
>inb4 you walk in the gym dressed in a space suit.
>i you dont know how to spot/explain exercises to her.
>Just look up some basic exercises on youtube like standard bicep curls, lat pulldown, Use machines if you dont wanna end up looking stupid.
>Do more cardio on elliptical than weight training to spend less time embarrassing yourself in the free weight area.
>Afterwards do heavy research on youtube on how to perform exercises, look up a routine and practice more when your gf is not around.