Absurd Lifting Habits

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>The kid who gets dropped off by his mom at the gym

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>Oldfags talking about where they work as they slap their dicks together in the locker room

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>Kid who wears fingerless gloves to do regular shit.

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>>40325775
>not getting behind him and going "choo" "choo" after every rep

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>that guy who yawns and wears basketball shorts

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>Kid who glares at stronger people than him with a not-so-subtle hatred for all the better lifters.

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>that guy who doesn't wear gloves to work out

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>Kid with a nike headband taking normie lengthed rests.

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>Kid who wears thick swimming goggles to lift weights.
>I've actually seen this.
>I've also seen a kid do a twirl and bow as he takes off his hat after random sets. multiple times

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>Kid who wears velcro shoes

>>40325775
Oh fuck that's me. What's wrong with this? It feels a lot more natural to me than groaning and grunting.

*choo choo's away sadly*

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>those guys who hog a squat rack and sit around the rack just staring at their phones

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>That guy who doesn't touch the bar to his chest

>>40325812
fight me bitch

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>that guy who nods during eye contact

>>40325785
Am I meant to walk?

>>40326776
why do people do this

>>40325785
fight me

>>40326776
fuck i hate making eye contact with people at the gym, what do

>>40326767
How do you even do that?
Wouldn't that fuck up your squat entirely?

>>40327245
Because i dont want to talk to you but i also don't want to seem rude and act like you don't exist its called manners you autist

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>>40327245
>why do people do this

>>40325785
That's me. I'm 23. Learning to drive now

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>the guy who does air boxing between sets

>>40325819
Pussy.

>that guy who thinks lifting will solve his problems

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>>40325775
>that girl who is intimidated by you cus you are a creep

always makes my day

>>40327382

I really hate that fucking guy

>>40327245
to say hello without speaking, I dunno I do it when new people walk in

>>40326776
fuck you

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>that young sorta chubby guy doing SS who is obviously seething with rage and frustration at every aspect of his life

>>40327382
Why does he do it, why..

>>40325803
i keep them on because im too lazy

>>40325775
I make "foo, foo" noises when i breathe out.

>>40325775
>not sharply exhaling with each rep
learn to lift kiddo

>>40325775
As a mixed martial artist who transitioned into lifting a few years ago, I still have this habit when I get to the heavier sets since I was taught that part of my exerted power is propelled by proper breathing techniques. Basically having a system of any kind to monitor breathing is essential for active meditation while lifting and entering the trance of painless muscle-memorized motion. Like profesional cyclist with proper breathing, I can go for hours. I have developed the cardio to lift nearing the intensity of roids while out lasting most roiders in endurance and stamina, as my average workout ranges from 3-5 hours.

>>40326767
How the fuck am I supposed to upright row my deadlift

>>40325843
I do this sometimes when I'm to lazy to change my cycling shoes to start lifting

>>40326776
If you make silent eye contact with anyone for 15 seconds you are almost guaranteed to fuck them if you hit them up afterwords. Nodding kills this.

>>40327461
Sounds like you wanna fug him bruh? You some sort of homo bruh?

>>40325790
Old men aren't oldfags you stupid reddit child.

>>40327245
Are you autismo? Legit question.

>>40327690
It took me a few reads before getting it too

>>40325785
D lete this

>>40325775
Why you mad about other people OP? You need to breathe properly when you lift, and maybe that helps these people breathe more comfortably. If you're this autistic just get a home gym.

>>40327393
She looks a bit like Justin Bieber in that pic.

>>40327622
there was no need to type so many words just to let us know you punched people

>>40326608
You should be breathing out during your rep, not afterwards.

>>40327733
Except not at all

>>40325836

Stop watching your sets in the mirror faggot.

>>40327392

Delet this.

I do that, sorry breh try not to

>>40327348
>>40327362
>>40327417
>>40327697
I wanted you guys to answer it for me because I have no idea why I do it

>>40327733
Not when you're using your core as support like in squats or DL or OHP or bent over row...

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>>40325775
Got a problem with me you fucking cookie-cutter? Don't claim what you can't take by force, come fight me. You know the address, no liability. Fight, posing, teeth contest, whatever, I'm down for it. 330lbs and I haven't put on an ounce of fat, think you can take me on little boy? Weighing 100lbs there with your tattoos and your gym-etiquette, what about the porno? What about the porn DALE?

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>>40325775
>the guy that wears boxer shorts in the shower

>>40327461
ask me how i know that you are talking about yourself

>>40328010
I'll smash a 2x4 into your skull then rape you in the street while I caress your bloated gut, Lenny.

>>40328195
Great I'll see you at the gym. Will give some great motivation for my sets. Afterwards maybe we can go out back and you give me a cleveland steamer.

>>40328022
They're called shower shorts. Stop trying to look at my dick, fag.

>>40328203
Yeah I bet you like taking shits on men

I'll fucking murder you before your round gut causes your ribcage to collapse

>>40326776
>nods down to people you generally want to show respect like people much older than you or people with whom you have formal relationship
>nods up to friends or much younger people

I don't know how and when but everyone around me seem to agreed on and follow these rules.

>>40327876
Found the retard

>>40328310
t. retard

>>40328323
No your a retard

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>>40328010

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>the guy who puts you on your knees and makes you suck his hot sweaty cock in the locker room after a workout

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>>40327507
"I'm not just getting stronger. I know how to fight. Beware."

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>>40327622
where did you fight, the Ultimate Fedora Championship?

>>40328310
valsalva maneuver is the universally accepted method of breathing during a heavy lift

anyone going ptchooooffsssssspppp during a heavy deadlift or squat is a certified mongoloid

>>40328400
Have fun popping a blood vessel

>>40328204
Did you attend the non nude convention fag?

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>>40328386
>The last time a purple fedora was in the octagon, Joe, was in 06 when it fought a black belted fedora for the middle bend fedora championship
>I dunno Mike, it looks like the red Fedora is tipping really hard, I dunno how long the purple fedora will be abl-
>IT IS ALL OVER! JUST. LIKE. THAT.
>woooooooooooow

>>40328400
No one cares about your alfalfa maneuvers, it doesn't mean you have to breathe like a 7 year old girl sneezing.

>>40328328
>your
Of course retards can't even get there spelling right

>>40328439
BAITED

>>40328411
have fun lifting less than me

>>40328435
valsalva is holding your breath, pushing out against a closed diaphragm

opposite of meme-breathing

>>40328433
no more Goldie-isms, it's the end of an era

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>That family of 5 who go to the gym together

>the personal trainer thats always taking some hot bitch and seems to know everybody. Successful, handsome and fuckig ripped.

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>that guy who does a latspread 24/7

>>40328461

>anon! What happened to your eye?? Why is it all red??
> I... uh... I was l-lifting and performing the vava- I mean valsals- I mean valvala maneuver...

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>>40328461
>no more Goldie-isms, it's the end of an era
I don't know if Dana told the new guy to do this, or if he does it as a joke or to fuck with people, but the guy who replaces Mike is acting like him down to the stare and the real serious focused smile and look when the other guy is talking.

Pic related, not sure what his name is.

Guy is basically little mike

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>>40328489
>valsalva maneuver
>causing you to burst blood vessels in your eyes

lmao @ u

stop posting fag you don't know anything about lifting, maybe /r9k/ is more your speed

>>40328495
That's Jon Anik, he's been with the UFC for a long time but he usually does non PPV cards - FS1 cards, Fight Pass cards usually get Jon Anik and Brian Stann commentating (unless it's a UK card or a europe card, then you get Dan Hardy and other british guy)

Mike should have gotten a proper send-off

>>40328489
kek

>>40328513
Yeah, he should have

>>40325785
Fuck you

>>40328461
I know what vulva maneuver is, and you should use it, but it doesn't mean you have to sound like a steam engine.

>>40328554
no, you don't know what the valsalva maneuver is

because you think the valsalva maneuver makes a steam-engine noise

the valsalva maneuver makes no noise at all, because no air is escaping your lungs

stop posting

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>>40328489

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>that fat girl who spends 95% of the time chatting with other people or typing on her phone and 5% doing exercise
There's nothing worse than a lazy fat person.

>>40328599
>curse you sudden but inevitable betrayal

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Autistic breathing techniques BTFO in this ITT thread

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>that guy who loudly recites passage from Mein Kampf in between sets

>>40328689
>tfw your gym plays your favorite workout song
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1sEt3NjHNA

>that girl who wears extra short shorts and only does good mornings

>>40328204
Im not looking at your dick, faggot. Im looking at your ass.

>the guy that is shadow boxing between his sets

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>>40328808
You forgot the "no homo" bro

>>40327674
Imma keep nodding then.

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>>40328816
>I'm that guy
Pls forgive me.

>>40326766
Have you ever heard of rest time?

>>40325775
>autistic robot that got forced into lifting
>sweating profoundly after each set
>always mumbles
>when he repeats himself he always says sorry allot really fast
>breaks consist of standing in a corner
>always says "whatever is good for you" when you ask him if he wants to add/remove weight.

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>that guy that isn't at least 6'1

>>40325785
We ain't all rich

>>40327338
Underrated

>>40328286
Truth. Down is like a bow. More formal. Up is like "what's up?"

"school shooter"

>early/mid 20s guy, maybe late 20s with a babyface
>about 5'9 +/- and inch, 165-175lbs
>does mostly compounds with a few accessories, most of his lifts are pretty intermediate
>never talks to anybody
>always has headphones in
>stares off into space between sets
>gives off a pretty depressed vibe, like he's mentally checked out of life and just going through the motions at this point

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>That chubby girl in the white tank top doing kettle bells in the corner

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>That guy who does bodyweight calf raises between sets

im that guy

>>40327393
she looks like she technically should be attractive but isnt

>>40326767
>that normie meme
so fucking cringy

>>40327867
Its a way of acknowledging their existance without having to actually go over and say hi.

>>40327393
>coming back home from gym looking huge
>look like a thug
>women get intimidated and scared
Feels bretty good f.a.m

>>40329818
Cuz it's actually Justin Bieber. Omg bruh how u dont no this, #notwoke

>That guy that reads a bible between sets

>That guy that does retarded stretches between sets and hogs the squat rack for way too long

>That personal trainer that allows his students to have shit form

>anyone wearing beats headphones

>anyone that uses a pussypad while squatting

People who don't scream lightweight baby when lifting and make grunting or steam engine noises.

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Old men using communal hairdryer to blow dry their butthole and balls.

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>>40329700
DELET THIS

>>40325785
come at me bro

>>40327674
Is that cumulative or does it have to be 15 seconds without interruption?

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>>40325785
>all the replies to this one

>>40330966
15 without interruption.

>>40325775
I've been doing this because it's how I breath when taking hits when sparring. Makes the impact much easier. For people who actually get upset at this, what do you want people like me to do?

>>40329325
yeah, I don't see the problem

>>40326766
Sorry I cant do 365x5x5 squats with 90sec rest time

>>40325775
I do this because it's how the owner of the gym I go to taught me to do bench press. :(

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>those cardiobunnies who hog the area under the squat rack to socialise

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>>40326767
>that guy that wants a rotator cuff injury at a young age

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>>40331169

>>40326776

You're supposed to raise your eyebrows and make this face :T

>>40325804
hahahhaha

>>40328386
Gorilla warfare

>>40325775
Yeah we have one of those too.

>>40325785
delete

>>40329700
jokes on you

I'm about 200lb now

>>40328461
>Diaphragm
>Closed
Lmao

>>40328599

>tfw you have the book that picture is from

>that guy who cant squat 4 plates on his first time

keep up brah

>>40325775
>that guy that screams like he was just stabbed in the kidneys every time he reps even a tiny amount of weight
>That guy that does pushups in the squat rack and flatly refuses to do them anywhere else
>That monstrously obese man that stands naked in the locker room blocking the hallway out
>That guy that keeps staring you dead in the eyes while squating less than 135 and humping the air after every rep
>That guy that demands you take out your headphones just he can say "some weather we're having huh?"

>>40329325
No knock that shit off

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>that skinny kid that came to the gym to take selfies in the fucking mirror right in the path of your unracking

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>That guy who audibly laughs to himself after every single successful set

>Yawn after every set nearly
its not my fault, I know it drives people crazy
I probably have a brain tumor.

>>40330091
There is nothing wrong with reading a Bible between sets.

>squatting without shoes knowing good and well your feet smell like the underbelly of a feral cat

>>40335920
Yoooo I'm starting to do this shit! I hype myself up for a max, then it's easy and I start smiling/chuckling to myself for it being easier than I expected.

>>40325775
One.
Million.
Curl.
Variations.

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>>40325785
>and then benches your squat

>>40325836
Tell me why he wears the goggles

>>40331104
come back when you can.

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> 40yo women with crossfit shirts, back braces, knee wraps and wrist wraps sumo deadlifting 40kg who tell you to widen your squat stance

>>40326776
Usually do the upwards motion. Downwards is more of an acknowledgment, upwards is more like "what's up"

It's literally the most common gesture without looking like a fucking faggot.

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>>40325785
>>40331005

i had a giggle m8

>>40336178
lotta loyalty for a DYEL

>>40327733
Lol you're actually so fucking far from right it's amazing. You should be breating in and out inbetween each set, not going up or down. You wan't to keep a stable core, especially when you have a big lift. I'm assuming you wouldn't know since all of your lifts are under a pl8

>>40329360
He doesn't lift weights heavy enough to require a rest time, so no, he hasn't

>people who don't have home gyms and work out in public places

>>40331166
>area under the squat rack
that space is integral to my gains

>>40327382
I only know one guy who does this, but he's 295 lbs, fucking huge, and generally a cool dude
kind of mentors new lifters and teenagers
I think he does it to hype himself up

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>>40325812
Fight me cunt.

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>>40326767
Gtfo with this normie meme nonsense. I don't browse the north korean stock market to see this shit faggot

>>40336451
I work out both at home and at parks you mad?

>>40328472
>personal trainer
>successful
l m a o

>>40327733
MAYBE for high rep accessory exercises

>>40325775
Nigga, you met Steam Pipe Steve?

>>40326776
>he doesn't The Nod

> that guy who's having a loud phone conversation in Arabic while benching babyweight x 100 x 100 on a Smith machine.

I've never seen him do anything else. For hours it's constant Smith machine swishing and exited babbling in the background. Annoying as fuck.

>using the squatrack, pullup bar, dip bars and OHP seat "simultaneously" in a "set-circle" and gets pissy when someone else uses any of the aforementioned when he's about to

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>that dude who sings and dances inbetwen sets
>that dude be me

>>40328286
Its the unwritten unspoken rule of humanity. Its like people are born with this knowledge. I once did the upward nod to my then teacher and jesus christ did I feel weird without knowing why until I realized that I have been following this rule without noticing.

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>>40325785
DELET

>>40336128
>go to the gym with people
>they do this
>laugh at you for doing almost all compound lifts

>>40325775
i do this with heavy reps

i can't breathe through my nose as easy as "tsssing" through my mouth

>>40335814
>the guy who doesn't realize he's in a special ed gym class

>>40327733
Yeah and lose the core tightness? I think not

>>40327629
Instead of keeping a straight-up back for deadlift, just bend at the hips. That's what I do when I want to super set deadlift with URR

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>guy at my gym
>huge, huge powerlifter
>lifting weights I can't dream of
>whenever he finishes a set he pretends to walk an invisible dog
>twirls his hand like the dog is pulling on the leash
>shouts things like 'NO FIDO, DOWN BOY'
>if he fucks up a set pretends he is scooping up his invisible dogs shit
>he has decided that I am his dog shit bin
>whenever he sees me and fucks up a set he walks over and pretends to throw invisible shit at me
>'WHY DID YOU SHIT WHILST I WAS LIFTING?'

What the fuck do I do?
He is humiliating me every week

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>that guy who works out in a donald trump hat

>>40325785
Fpbp

>>40328481
It's called having lats

>>40325785
jokes on you buddy, it's usually my dad

>>40326767
>getting to eat her ass isnt enough
Ill fucking find and kill you anon

>>40326776
So how does it feel to learn you are autistic?

>>40338800
How did this even start? Did you kick his dog one day?

>>40338800
>checked
kekd really hard at your story, but seriously what the actual fuck is wrong with that guy? Is he just so mentally fucked that he doesnt understand shit anymore?

If this story is real, you should just start asking other people around the gym what the fuck is wrong with that guy because there is no way that they have not noticed his autism.

>>40339639
No I meowed at it for a joke

>>40325775
There's this guy who growls at my gym whyle he lifts. He sounds like an angry chihuahua: "Grrr! Grr!"

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>the guy who rests for longer than 60 seconds

>>40325812
>fight me muh fucka

>>40340263
B-but stronglifts recommends 90 seconds or even 3 minutes if you're near fail desu senpai

>>40331465
I fucking hate that shit.

That's teenager tier shit right there. Socially inept and awkward teenager.

Actually it's more the personality of a person who still lives with their parents.

*first time triggered in /fit/, good job*

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>>40329843
mfw this board actually needs to have this shit explained

Sometimes I'm amazed /fit/izens even managed to go to the gym without their handlers.

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>>40325775

>That out of shape middle aged guy who keeps trying to correct your form

>>40329700

Delet

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>>40329700
Ha, you're a year late! I've gotten chubby since.

>>40329325
dude why

>>40329700
But I'm 6'1"

>>40334932
I just freaked out

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>>40327622
Based-anon, i will now hone my breathing techniques

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>Looking around to see if anyone is watching right before doing a heavy set

>>40329700
Jesus Christ if the height was different and you took out the babyface part then this post would literally be me

>the basic bitches who have been going to the gym for over a year now, multiple days a week and do legs every single time

>that faggot who doesn't do his homework and expand his knowledge to know what body parts generate hormones to increase gains, and have a routine geared to HIS goals.

>that faggot who sips Monster after every set

>>40327733
Dubs of deception. You should be holding in your breathe for the entire set for that there vo2 max gains.

Honestly i only choo choo when im at home lifting. For push exercises usually during the rep (pushing barbell up on last rep)

>>40341764
Do you also chugga chugga before you choo choo?

>>40336745
this desu, and I only do it after really big sets

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>>40327382
>tfw you see some ripped, tattooed asian chick with teardrop tattoos doing crazy krav maga shit between sets

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>>40331166
>under the squat rack
>UNDER the squat rack
Are the cardiobunnies at your gym literal bunnies?

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>That guy that wears a cap during bench press to hide his bald spot
You ain't fooling anyone buddy

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>he skips to the chorus of a song before doing another set

>>40342302
fuck, you got me. hate starting a set when just when the tempo has slowed down

> That guy who uses machines and after ever set stops and reads it to see what it does again and again...every day like he forgets what it does.

> That guy that apparently takes a power nap after every set on the smith machine that he is using to bench

> That trainer that I could bounce a quarter off her ass that always interrupts me using the smith machine to show new members what it does..jk she has a terrific ass

> That lanky guy that comes to the gym dressed like R. Kelly from the Double Up album cover who is loudly explaining to his buddies how to work out "correctly".

> That guy literally swings his body like he's trying to touch his toes while curling.

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>>40341280
>>40329700
>>40325775

>>40336534
Underrated

>>40325813
what if I'm just mirin'?

>>40328462
>they are all obese except the mum who is hot as fuck

I suppose they are trying to motivate themselves

>>40325785
DELET THIS

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>that guy who mumbles "do it for her" under his breath during hard sets
that's me.

>>40344354
who are you doing it for, anon?

>>40325804
Kek'd audibly

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>>40325775
>That guy who goes to the gym to do bodyweight exercise.

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>>40344370

>>40329700
this is literally me. I don't know how I would act any different

>that guy who brings dumbbells, barbells, kettlebells, and a bench to a squat rack
>doesn't use any of them and just looks at his phone for an hour

>>40327733
Enjoy snap city.

>>40325812
>that post that picks on the most bland frequent things ever as to try to bait as many people possible