Autistic /fit/ stories

Dumb frogposter go back to facebook

>>40319577
>in gym
>girlie about my age approaches me, have caught her mirin before
>"hey can I get a spot"
>literally say no
>leave gym without finishing workout
this was last week
do I need to sign up for a new gym
I haven't been to the gym in a week now and I feel shit

>>40320638
Next time you see her go up and tell her you're sorry you were autistic, but your dog died or something

>>40320667
>"h-hey sorry I was such a d-douche about the spot haha my dog died i guess thats not funny but im sorry"

literally how i speak.
this is considering she even remembers it

>>40320638
she asked you to spot her and you said no?
and now your not going to the gym?

>>40320765
Wow

>be me
>like grill
>she tells me she has a crush on me
>knock her over and do a poo on her head
F-fuck.... did I blow it bois?

>girl with fat ass on the treadmill
>act like im browsing my phone while resting (im actually taking a video)
>its like 1 minute long
>look over my shoulder near the end
>there was dude behind me looking at me (dont know how long)
>say 'h-he-... sup?"
>start to walk away

>>40320765
You need some meds and therapy for your social anxiety. Maybe try learning autogenics at night to learn calm down.

>>40320638
This is why i come here

>>40320862
Kek'd

>>40320638
Alpha as fuck son

>>40320765
That's beta as fuck dude, don't do it

Just ask her if she needs a spot next time

>>40320862

post or didnt happen

> omw home with the train
> leave train
> few people there
> girl sees me
> starts walking towards me
> is she really approaching me?
> start sweating
> she starts talking "hey you look good. Want to have sex?"
> people stare at us
> I'm looking at her
> start talking. Don't even know what to say
> nervous as fuck
> "No, you're ugly."
> people still staring
> turn around walk away and miss my train

>>40321330
This happened so hard

>be me

>>40321220
>say no to simple friendly request
>scared to see girl again
>hasn't gone to the gym in a week just to avoid seeing her again
real fuckin alpha

>>40321740
Don't reply to me

>>40320831
no because now you have marked her as yours all you gotta do now is make her your sex slave

>>40321330

>the mind of a maniac

>>40321330
beta as fuck bro

Holy fuck this thread is killing me. I haven't laughed this hard in ages.
Thanks brahs

>>40321318
I disagree, going over to her next time you see her and apologising and saying you were having a bad day or something is perfectly reasonable, and is a perfect ice breaker. When she says something like 'I thought it was a bit weird, don't worry about it' you can ask her name and start some small talk.

>>40321330
Was she ugly?

>>40320638
The saying no part I can understand. We all have our moments of autism but
>I haven't been to the gym in a week now
is just, wow

>>40322104
>>40321780
She actually was ugly. just had big tits going for her.
But i'm not looking better so ...

>>40320638
kek
that's weaponized autism right there

>>40319577
>be me
>go to chipotle twice a week
>girl that works there smiles at me all the time
>girl starts noticing me and tries to talk to me
>"anon, you com here a lot! *giggle*"
>me : y e a hhhhhhhh.
the end

>>40322284
I think you mean "weapons grade" not weaponized.

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This one happened today mates I am an endless source of cringe to the point where it literally keeps me up at night...
>Walking in the corridor to class
>See qt3.14 grill from one of my other classes, she is a total Stacey
>she is coming my way
> c'mon man be cool
>keep calm and say 'hey you alright?'
>'yes thank you!'
>'Yeah good thanks... Fuck!'
>shuffle away looking at my feet and mumbling the response I would have made if i wasn't socially retarded

>>40322362
no

>>40322419
high school please Evacuate the premises

>>40320638
Ask her to spot you next time you're both there

>no
laugh like it's a running joke, ask for her name
>okay
you have another chance to be less autistic around her
>any other passive aggression
move on, forget about her, keep working out.

>>40322461
I'm 22 m80 i went back to college after 4 years in the workplace

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>can't tell if they're interested or just being polite

H E L P

>>40320862

Post the video, Anon.

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>go to small shitty gym when visiting parents
>there literally only 12 pl8s to go around the whole gym
>its fine since theres only about 3 other people at a given time who are all on the treadmill
>also a small open area downstairs for yoga or some shit
>been lifting for about 1.5 years
>almost at 1/2/3/4
>just need to get my diddlys a little higher
>finally decide to go for 4 pl8s
>go at like 11 pm so nobody sees me in case i fail
>struggle with all my might
>finally deadlift 4 pl8s
>celebrate by grunting "Yeah!" several times
>girl walks up the stairs to see what the commotion is
>leave

>>40322596
Assume they're interested. Either they are and something has a chance to happen or they aren't and nothing happens (same as if you do nothing) except you might get a fun autism story to tell.

>>40319577
what a shitty story. Also isn't 90lb curl a bit too much for a teenage faggot?

>>40322723
Well I started weight training when I was 13, by the time I was 18, a senior in high school, it's not that hard to curl 90 lbs a few times. I remember I literally got more mires from the guys that the girls. I guess it doesn't matter how strong you are, if you're autistic girls can somehow sense it

>>40320638
>>40320765
fucking faggot, I came here to laugh and now im just mad

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>>40321330
the funniest/scariest thing about this is that there are autists who genuinely believe this is what women mean when they just look at them

>>40320638
Just claim you thought she said "do you have any pot"

>>40320638
So beta that it's alpha

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>be junior in high school
>decided to play football with 0 experience
>football program has brawn at dawn
>got to show up to get cookie points if you wanna play
>get really into lifting
>make mad noob gains
>continue lifting until senior year
>accidentally got strong by eating correctly without trying
>now its senior year
>the only person in my 60+ gym class to pick the weights and fitness section in order to get even bigger
>after everyone gets shuffled and forced into weights training, notice the 9/10 junior girl is in my group
>weights coach is also my assistant football coach
>uses me to demonstrate proper forms on certain workouts
>qtpie is mirin
>one day says "wow anon, you're pretty strong"
>"t-thanks, you too"
>let it get in my head
>every class, she's flirty with me, but im too autistic to make a move
>now i want to show off
>attempt a 4pl8 squat, even though I know my max is only 350ish
>fail instantly
>make a ton of fucking noise
>destroyed me for weeks
>my aspie feelings get to me
>since I failed in front of her, i don't want to date her since she thinks I'm weak
>tfw a few weeks later she asks me out and I decline, because autism

>>40324483
so let me get this straight:

>girl asked you out because you're too much of an autist to ask her
>the girl is a QT
>she doesnt mind your autism
>you still say no


literally could not have had more favourable circumstances, this is the type of shit guys only dream of.

please kill yourself on livestream.

>at university gym
>benching
>guy next to me is benching 4 times as much as me

>>40324483
Do you know how bad I fucking wish I were you

>>40324573
i know... feels bad man

>>40324723
you can do better than i

>>40324573
Seconded

>>40324483
Anon, literally walk up to her tomorrow, apologize for being so autistic, and ask her out. She will still say yes. Girls do not start hating you after you reject them, in fact it's usually the opposite.

You did not blow this, you're only going to blow it if you do nothing.

>>40319577
>be in gym
>lift
>hit prs
>feel good
>pass by mirror
>look in mirror
>don't feel so good anymore
>continue lifting

>>40322434
Damn I really needed a spot

>squatting
>dyel and his gf come towards me, ask me how many sets i have left
>5
>they go in some corner, guy """teaches""" the girl how to deadlift
>back more bent than your mother
>i can't help but notice
>really want to go over there and correct her form
>after a while some other guy does exactly that
>now her back is straight (kinda), but she's basically half squatting with the bar hanging in her hands
>autism.tiff
>finally done with squats, time for diddlys
>warm up with 60 kg
>guy is jelly, i can see how he's looking at me, he could barely manage 40 kg when showing his gf
>work my up to 5x130
>he stares at me like I'm trying to impress the girl or something, then leaves
Nigga you want to fucking fight or something? She wasn't even cute ffs.

>>40322596
if they aren't, then flirt u dip

>>40324722
so?

>>40321825
She won't even remember it.

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>first day going to gym ever
>no idea what im doing or where anything is
>pretend to use machines while watching other people
>spend an hour cycling at no resistance
>gym is kinda full and fit girl asks to use the bike
>clear throat and breathe heavy to show ive been working out
>get up without clearing machine
>fuck
>she sees 17 miles done with no resistance
>hides her laughter
>im embarassed and feel awkward just standing in middle of gym
>go to first water fountain i see, its in the entrance of one of the locker rooms
>as i drink from the tall fountain i look at the small fountain
>theres a female sign they put on bathrooms standing on it
>"thats weird that women have to drink from the short fountain"
>this somehow doesnt click in my head
>people in gym staring weirdly at the autist in the girls locker room
>staff comes
>"HEY BUDDY, you cant be in the girls locker room"
>freeze in place
>blank stare
>point at sign
>manage to mutter
>"weird fountain"
>no one does anything for awhile
>staff says "just use the mens locker room next time" and walks away
>i shuffle away, do 2 dips on the parallel bars
>walk out and cancel membership

this is why i have a home gym

>>40322338
You should've given her a playful smirk and said, "So do you." Could've gotten that pucci easily famalam.

>>40324855
Apologizing is the most autistic thing a man can do.

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>>40325157
I love this

>>40325109
The (lack of) size of my arms makes me uncomfortable

>>40325084
I don't know how

>>40325157
someone save this

>>40324483

How have humans evolved to be so autistic? It doesn't make sense

>>40322155
dude it was probably a prank or one of those muh social experiments,not saying you're an ugly dude or anything but for a girl to ask such a direct and uncomfortable question in front of the public just doesn't add up,she didn't even ask for your number or anything??or your name or try to start a convo?

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>be me
>on summer break from college
>cute girl that works the front desk at the gym starts chatting with me
>I keep my autism contained and we talk every time I go
>I get sick and I can't lift for a week
>My brother happens to go to the same gym and she notices that we have the same last name
>She asks where I've been and he tells her
>She says "Tell anon I hope he gets better, I miss him"
>I completely change my schedule and start working out in the evenings (she worked mornings)
>go back to college
>never see her again

>>40325110
she will,you don't forget something like that

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>tfw I went into hyper autism mode with a qt but have no sane way of explaining it

Well he didn't completely ignore me afterwards so that's something right

I shit the gym. I took some laxatives because I was constipated then went to the gym. I let out a fart, but it turned out to be full blown diarrhea. I ran out the door leaving a trail of shit and never returned. It's not the first place I've done this either. I have doo doo problems.

>>40326136
I'm literally about to explode with shit as I write this. Took some laxatives earlier.

>>40326048
He?

This is /fit/ no gays allowed!

>>40325996
you fucking cunt

how do you faggots even fuck up this bad?

>"oh my god, a girl wants to see me, better avoid her at all costs and never come in to contact with her again"
>"hey /fit/ why cant I get a gf?"

are you guys actually just closet faggots and thats why you avoid girls who are interested in you?

>>40326177
I told myself that i had to ask her out the next time i saw her. I kept making excuses to why i couldn't see her, then i got used to the routine of lifting at night. Oh well, she was cut but I'm not losing sleep over it.

>>40325996
Fucking why?

>be new to the gym
>usually an early bird so it was almost always empty when i was working out there
>was even allowed to hook up my mp3 player to the gym stereo
>had talking heads playing and a girl walks in
>she starts laughing about the music
>"who the hell works out to this shit?"
>y-yeah
>she tells the manager to change the music
>i go to pick up my mp3 in silence

Over 10 years ago and I still remember that shit.

>>40320638
Fuck her and fuck you.

>>40325157
thanks for the laughs

I go full autist like this a fair bit actually because I'm a somewhat decent looking Eastern European dude who works out at the gym a fair bit but is also a closeted homosexual. Sometimes it feels like a lot of people only go to the gym to meet people because I've had several women flirt with me and I never know how to react. I mean, I'd look like a fucking retard if some gym cutie walks up and I tell her I'm not interested but they're also being too subtle for me to say something like "I'm in a relationship" I usually just go full spaghetti and switch machines or some shit

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>>40321354
That probably didn't, but this did
>20
>working as a bouncer for extra money while at uni
>at a higher end bar
>near the end of the night woman approaches me where I stand near the entrance/dance floor
>about mid to late 30s but still hot as fuck
>starts flirting with me, took me ages to realize that's what she was doing
>try to fumble through conversation, somehow she decides she needs to try harder and gets really obvious about it
>literally to the point where she's up against me, grinding against my leg and suggesting that I should stick my tongue down her thoat
>mind goes into overload and shut down because I'm not used to female attention at all, let alone this aggressively
>stammer something about needing to focus on work
>she gives up and leaves, giving me a disappointed look as she walks away
>now 25 and a kissless virgin to this day

>>40322471
> ask 60kg grill to spot your 3pl8 squat

> pretend to struggle, make sure she is trying to help

> bail on squat, grill is crushed, paralysed

> won't be seeing her at the gym anymore

>>40324990
Did you just humblebrag about a 5x130?

>>40326349
i hate you

>>40326577
So do I, but why do you hate me?

>>40326236
what were you playing?

>>40326590
you had the perfect situation and fucking threw it away.

>>40322647
Goodjob on the 4plate
i wish a retard didnt broke my wrist in a jujitsu competition, now i cant DL 4plate wihtout straps.

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>>40326752
Oh, yeah fair enough. I hate myself for that too

>tfw I remember that I had a woman literally begging for me to give her some action and I still somehow fucked it up

>>40326804
>>40326752
Forgot a part.

When this happened, I was like 10min from my shift being over. So there wasn't even a time issue of me being stuck at work. I could have left with her almost immediately

>be 20
>still know nothing about proper routine and diet
>loved doing power cleans from high school
>never clicked in my head that you should use bumper plates
>went with another autist friend for first time at new gym
>gym has a "private" area/room that anyone can use
>room is set up mainly for olympic lifts
>we didn't put on bumper plates
>start doing power cleans
>after every clean at the top, we drop the weights
>we also make too much noise vocally, because we are obvious powerlifters
>roidbro rushes in
>"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU IDIOTS DOING?"
>"uh sorry"
>"PUT FUCKING BUMPER PLATES ON BEFORE I BEAT YOUR ASS"
>"y-y-yes sir sorry sir"
>we dont finish the set
>too much adrenaline is running through my body
>really have to liquid shit bad, but I want to leave
>we get an official warning on the way out
>gambled on a fart and lost on the drive home
>friend can't stop gagging, even with his head out the window
>drop him off
>go home and cry in the shower

I don't handle being yelled at very well

>>40326894
>I don't handle being yelled at very well

what are you, a fucking 7 year old girl?


stop being a pussy you little bitch.

>>40326905
yyyes sir sorry

>>40324990
He was watching to see if you were done with the bar

>>40326894
holy shit that just sounds like a terrible day man

>>40326136
Nigga, do not took laxatives if you arent going to be at your house. And instead that i would recomend micro-enemas, much safer and quicker. Trust me, I'm a nurse and I work in a home care.

>>40326894

I literally forget how to speak English when i'm lifting, huffing and puffing and full of adrenaline, I think I mistake it as autism

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>>40322647
>1.5 years
>4pl8

>>40322419
>>40322521
Why not just make fun of yourself and then carry on not giving a shit?

>>40326439
>implying i think it's impressive
what part of my post put emphasis on that? just stating what happened. not saying how much i was lifting and then saying he was mad about it, your wouldn't make much sense, right?

>>40326956
there were plenty of free bars

>>40319577
>start going to the gym realising I am a fat lazy fuck
>3 weeks in, all going well
>usually go in the afternoon when it is quiet (work from home)
>busy day working, end up going in the evening when it is busy
>sit at machine doing my thing as usual
>guy come up to me between sets, realise he wants to talk
>what the fuck i'm not here to be sociable
>take headphones out
>"hey man can I work in?"
>"excuse me?"
>"can I work in with you between sets man?"
>"what the hell? no, go and use something else. I am almost done"
>headphones back in, finish up thinking what an arsehole he was
>mention this to a friend a couple of days later
>didn't realise this was normal
>didn't realise people did this
>turns out I was the arsehole
I go in the morning when it is quiet now.

>>40326349
you deserve it,i'm happy you suffered you autist piece of shit

>>40322647
Fuckin good job mate!

Congrats on that 4 pl8

>>40320813
kekkled my jocks off

>>40325157
fuuuuuck

>>40324722
Iktf. It's embarrassing as hell to struggle to bench 95 when the guy next to you is doing 3 pl8 for reps.

Don't do computer science kids.

>>40327740
LMAO

>>40327754
Why did I deserve it?

>>40325996
Fucking WHY?

>>40320638
Lol
"Finally plucked up the courage to talk to my gym crush, asked him for a spot, he said no and left the gym!? Haven't seen him since. Did I fuck up?"

>>40328090
Because you threw away a perfect opportunity, fag. You really should boss up and check out Mark Manson.

Not autism but still my biggest regret

>sitting on the bus in the middle of 3 seats
>my friend on my right, blonde qt on my left
>Thinking Out Loud on the radio
>sing along and tell my friend i really like this song
>blonde qt starts singing along too
This was my first hint but I'm autistic to pick anything up
>not sure where the bus goes so i told my friend "please go inside[the town]"
>say that's what she said under my breath jokingly
>she giggles, like a little girly one
>i smiled to myself but still didn't talk to her
>get off bus

I'm a fucking retard and i regret this, this happened yesterday

>>40328313
I'll give his stuff a read. I certainly couldn't do much worse

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>in class on a hot day
>fat at the time and trying to lose weight
>teacher comes around and hands out zooper doopers
>everyone takes one except me
>the teacher gives me a weird motivational sigh
>other students ask me why I didn't grab one
>just make some weird face and wave my arms at them
>sit there doing work quietly while they all slurp away

>>40320862
post vid

>>40321740
He's never gonna make it

>>40328313
His book is 200 pages of just be more confident bro if you're struggling get therapy.

>>40326236
talking heads rock dude, that cunt didnt know what was good, probably listening to tpain and such shit all day

>>40322852
Girls judge strength by ur size, not by numbers.

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>>40321354
It's possible.
>a few years ago, I think I was 17 or 18
>just left from my friends house after smoking some pot
>don't have anywhere to be so I walk to mcdonalds
>as soon as I walk in the staff is all laughing at me and saying I look high as fuck
>girl at the register says my phone looks very expensive (I'm just borrowing it, Kek)
>sit down at a table
>she walks over and starts asking me questions about myself
>she says "you're so cool" or something like that
>asks "do you want some pussy tonight? I get off in an hour"
>nervous as fuck, can't tell if she's just fucking with me or not
>say "nah I'm good"
>all the other workers were watching in awe
>she looks extremely sad and disappointed
>walks away
>it's really awkward now so I just leave and walk down the road in a straight line for like an hour
She was really cute, too. I always wonder what could've happened. Back then lots of girls would randomly hit on me like that, no clue why. Nowadays they seem repulsed by just looking at me and if you don't count family members and women who literally get paid to talk to me, I haven't talked to a single female in months, maybe more than a year.

>>40326905
In his defense getting yelled at as a grown man doesn't really happen. I have had one person yell at me and I just told him not to do that shit again.

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>>40319577
this is my first greentext so plz be gentle

>be 14 years old
>home alone at 23:00
>parents doesn't come home for another 4 hours
>next door 8/10girl and her 9/10friend are also home alone
>they climb over from her porch to mine
>knocks on the window
>walk over to them and say hi
>they ask to come in
>tell them I dont think I should
>they say please
>tell them my mom says I cant have anybody come over (she never said anything like that)
>they literally beg me to let them in
>tell them no
>they climb back over to her porch
>think about this evening regularly for the next 5 years

>>40320870
sorry i was gone for so long.
thought this thread would be dead by now.
gonna go to gym today.
someone give me an interpretive guide on what to do.
>>40328283
sadly this might be what she thought. I hope i didnt hurt her

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>>40328802
>Do you want some pussy tonight?

I think you almost fucked papa franku m8

>>40328387
leave until you're at least 18, idiot

>>40328090
The guy who responded wasn't me but you deliberately chose to ignore a hot female offering you free sex and are now complaining that you are a virgin

>late night at gym just a few days ago
>working on my cleans
>finally work up the nerve to do 2pl8
>hoist it no problem and hip drahve out of the whole
>stand there for a second proud that I did it
>autism engage
>pop my hands out from under bar and it starts to fall off shoulders
>realize the folly of my ways and attempt to catch it
>lands in the crease of my elbows and I curl over as the weight drags me down
>my attempted save makes more noise than just dropping it would have
>the few people in gym stare at me
>clean up and leave in shame

>>40329202
Yeah bro, you sure embarassed yourself in front of incels curling 15 lbs with every fiber of their being
Fuck that noise, only those who actually do shit get to fail

>>40329249
was more embarrassed that I tried to catch 2pl8 like a fucking sperg than the noise. Guess I didn't portray that very well

>>40324990
why would you deadlift 5lbs 130 times mate?

>>40328932
You stupid fucking idiot

Gym addict (?) level of autism
>be strongest guy in small local gym
>my 3pl8 diddly is literally olympic-tier for them
>considered to be the "big bro" of the gym
>teach ny resolutioners and regulars on form and exercise
>be 2 days ago
>8/10 qt3.14 is a newcomer just in time for me to 1 rep max my DL to 395lbs
>rest of the gym was watching at that time, some applauding, etc...
>qt later asks me to teach her how to exercise (later, I found out some of the regulars referred her to me)
>gym is like sacred ground for me. For some reason "fitness chicks" always infuriate me
>brush her off by telling her she can "fuck off to the bicycle machine and not disturb me"
>first time I went that far (mostly, I just tell them to follow the workout in the posters)
>she walks away like a smacked puppy
>some of the gym members hear this
>spreads like wildfire
>rumor circulates that I only teach guys cause I'm gay

>>40326173
haha

>>40322647
>1.5 years
>4pl8
The fuck you slacking off for?

>be in a high class gym that costs a lot
>see 11/10 sex monsters, models, succubi there with bodies not even /fit/ posts in their dream gf threads since know they are out of their league
>look at them and know that no matter how fit and pretty you`ll be none of them will even glance at you since they set their sights on the 1% rich and thats why they train their bodies to such perfection

>>40326390
Hmm... I might seriously try something like this when the opportunity arise (only 2 of us, etc.)

The hardest part of the conversation for me is getting started. It's relatively easy after that. Maybe this could break the ice.

>Bench 70%RM
>Ask her to spot since I'm setting up a PR
>Pretend to struggle
>Make her think she saved me from getting crushed
>Mutual trust established
>Ask her out for coffee as a sign of thanks

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>talking with qt3.14
>asks if i have a snapchat
>no
>asks if i have a facebook
>no
>asks if i have a phone number
>no
>mfw i realize what i just said
>she left with a sad look on her face

>>40328763
That's heavily oversimplifying it my guy. The book actually teaches you what it means when people say the vague "Just be confident bro lmao."

>>40327971
>Computer Science
>95 lbs bench
>Computer Engineering
>295 lbs bench

>>40329202
You should be proud of 2pl8 clean btw.

>>40329754
He only explains what it means, which most struggling autists are already perfectly aware of, he doesn't give any practical advice on how to apply it to themselves apart from "dude just do these exercises from Demonic Confidence and your anxiety will go away lmao".
The whole book is "just be the alpha you can't be".

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>>40320638
>HS
>in gym class (was a bit heavy and too edgy for their normie exercise)
>teacher doesn't give a shit, he's 500lbs and will pass you just for showing up
>carrying around my guitar from guitar class because if I left it in the guitar room the other classes would use it without my permission
>find a folding chair
>sit down and start playing guitar with it in my lap
>8/10 qt approaches
>tells me my guitar is awesome
>says she's tired
>asks to sit in my lap
>say "sorry, I've already got something much prettier there"
>keep playing guitar
ALPHA AS FARUK

28 now but here's a story that probably shows signs of my power levels

>be 14 about to start high school
>decide to take gym class over summer school so I can get it out of the way
>It's a general gym class so we spend our time between weight room, walking/running, or playing some team sport
>there's this qt and some of her friends from the city over that will be going to a different high school
>boner at least once a day when I look at her ass
>one day entire class is in the weight room and my friends and are I climbing up a rope
>I go to climb up the road and I start to slip and laugh and tell my friends I'm falling
>jump down and notice the girl is by us and is laughing
>few days later class is walking the track and she is behind me and my friends and starts telling me I'm going bald
>I turn around and tell her it's a cowlick in my hair
>she comes over and looks and laughs then starts talking to me
>waive my friends to go on
>come back into class and she leaves her friends and comes and sits behind me
>everyday now she is sitting behind me talking to me or playing with my hair
>she tags along with me and my friends when we go to the weight room or if we play a game
>start to split time between my lunch with my friends and her
>last day of class we play kickball between my class vs another class as the two coaches were Chads who were competing to see who had the best team
>we're up by one point and it's the last ending to be played. We already got two players out
>the next kicker blast that shit high in the air and is coming towards me
>oh shit oh shit oh shit
>catch the ball perfectly and we win
>coach Chad comes up and high fives me, qt comes up and hugs me
>we spend the rest of the day in class hanging out
>no cellphones then and I was too dumb to get her home number
>she hugs me and just kind of stands there and then I leave with my friends

>>40329303
MORE REPS
LESS WEIGHT
COME ON

>>40319765
Shut up normie scum

>>40326236
>>40326618
>>40328767
fuck that bitch, she has no idea how she got here

>>40330048
Cont.

>few months later school has already stated
>go out to the mall one Friday with some firend
>"ANON!!"
>I turn around and it's her in a cheerleader outfit running up to me and gives me a big hug
>boner.jpg
>we're talking and I start to get anxious because idk what to do
>I just awkwardly mutter I have to go
>went to a store and then convinced my friends to leave and walk to steak n shake

This was only the start for me

>>40329411
you do you breh

>>40320862
Post da vid

>college student
>tired of being a skeleton
>want to work out but don't want to embarrass myself
>wake up at 5am and get to the gym right when it opens at 5:30
>go in
>turns out this is when all the athletes work out
>everyone stares at me when I walk in with confusion
>I came this far, go do squats and bench and lat pull-down
>I'm weak as fuck but whatever, the athletes actually seem pretty chill, no one bothers me
>continue this routine for a while
>after initial starter gains, get stuck
>I'm not making any progress in weeks and notice people staring at me with disappointment as I come in
>eventually changes from disappointment to disgust
>the gym staff becomes hostile towards me and tells me I can't come in because I'll disrupt the athlete's workout
>i say the gym is open at 5:30am for everyone
>they agree, but they start making me wait outside 15-20 minutes to enter and laugh at me when I come in
>switch to afternoon working out
>is so fucking crowded
>there's a group of girls who are all stronger than me who come in
>I try to come at different times but it's always the same people
>fortunately no one seems to notice me
>one day I get stuck on my last rep benching 85lbs
>people are walking by but they either don't notice or don't care
>I keep trying to push the bar up but I can't do it
>I slide the weights off making a huge crash
>everyone in the gym stops and looks at me
>immediately put weights back and leave
>after that everyone seems to look at me when I come to the gym
>still not making any gains due to not eating enough
>feel too much autistic shame to go back

>>40330142
eat more dumby

>>40326236
Fuck her talking heads kick ass

>>40327740
When I first started gym, I just got up and said I'm finished

>>40325996
THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU

>>40327620
Get the fuck out of here you judging bastard.

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>>40325157
Best one so far

>>40329303
because it's all about VOLUME

>>40329984
Roastie BTFO

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>>40325157
>this is why i have a home gym

iktfb

>>40325655
so you lift and eat more dummy

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>at some fat whore's sweey 16
>parents forced me to go
>one of only 4 boys there
>other 3 are butter tits jelly bellies
>ugly and fat girls swolesting me all over the dance floor
>one grabs my dick and starts rubbing it on her face
>her dad sees and starts stomping over
>see him coming, point at him and shout, "WAIT YOUR TURN!"
>he trips, slides across the floor and winds up face first on my dick
>piss on his face in fear
>try to run away
>slip on the piss, knocking over 3 fatties
>they knock over 4 other fatties
>an unstoppable domino chain of fat women has begun
>use my functional strength to dead lift a hoagie hog off me and run away, stepping on plump backs with every step
>from then on, known by certain social circles as the party pisser

>>40330113
I just read this story and would say how I cringe but I've gotten even closer and failed multiple times.
Would tell the story but
1. I'm at work (lunch)
2. I was told by a physicist that if I ever told the story to more than 3 people the resulting inward cringe would create a black hole powerful enough to destroy the world.

>>40322647
gj famalam 4.5pl8 diddly is my all time goal

>>40330377
What's funny is that I believe you pissed yourself at someone's birthday party

>>40321330
>Girl straight up asks for secks
I know most of these stories are fake, but at least TRY to make it realistic.

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>>40324912
>Every
>God damn
>Time

>>40328802
ahahah good job breh you put that thot in her place

>be me
>start lifting at 16 years old
>strongest in school
>stronger than older qids
>hit 2pl8 bench x5 at 18
>alpha
>partially inspire friends to lift
>fast forward
>22
>bench still at 2 pl8 x5
>accumulated imbalances and injuries from stopping and starting with no mobility work
>unable to squat or deadlift without lower back pain
>misused mass gainer and got fatter every time I restarted lifting
>friends now outlift me
>friend benches 3pl8 after 2 years


Should I just kms on stream?

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>go to thing
>girl talks to me
>interaction goes well
>specifically avoid every interaction with her from then on
this is every interaction ive ever had with a girl

>>40330721
>Misused mass gainer

How?

>>40330805

4 SCOOPS COME ON

>be heavily visually impaired but by no means blind
>Have decent lifts for being a manlet
>Not ugly
>still always feel like I get started at by people in the ol gym
>can't actually see well enough to tell though so I go off instinct if they're more than 6 feet away

Never really speak to anyone there either so they must think I'm the gym's designated psychopath

>>40330819
Jesus Christ m8

Only just started using mass gainer myself after only using whey for years and I only take one scoop and a bit each day

>mass gainer

Holy shit just eat more of your favorite food or something

>>40330975
>eating that much ass
nah I'd rather take massgainer

>>40330721
you were the strongest kid in school with a 2pl8 x5 bench?

>>40330887
Why not buy contact lenses? I could probably not even find the right plates without them.

>>40330361
I am, but it takes a while

>>40319765
You forgot your REEEEE but dont worry I have it here for you


>REEEEEEEE

>>40322471
>anon wanna go out with me? ^_^

>no

>>40329041

Fuck Chin-Chin.

>>40331481
Watch your mouth, the peace^lords are said to lurk here

>>40331481
>>40329041
>>40331546
you must be 18 to post on this website.
inb4 acting like youre 18+
we all know you're not if you watch filthy frank.

>>40331610
I am 21 and papa franku-san is my hero

>be me
>17, senior in highschool
> getting dressed in locker room after weightlifting class
>only one who's not on football team, i swam
>for a week i brought small wash cloths to wipe down my sweaty balls so after class my pants wouldn't get wet with the sweat
>one day getting my wipe on, some black kid who played football and basketball looked over
>audible "nigga wut the fuck"
>tried to explain
>"its so my clothes dont get sweaty
>he doesn't buy it
>didnt show up to school for 2 days, never wiped my balls in public again

>>40330409
aim higher man you got 5 wheels if you want them

>>40330721
you need to increase your training volume and eat a caloric surplus

>>40331673
lying on the internet is illegal
>>40331779
>getting my wipe on
>"nigga wut the fuck"
lost

>>40331779
Should've told him theres a reason niggers always stink of shit.

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>this thread

>>40320831
This is what passes as humor around here

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>>40330113
>people wear cheerleading outfits in public

>>40332380
>sophisticated satire intimidates me

>>40321757
ok

>>40324722
4 x 0 = 0

>>40319577
>go to a small independent gym owned by a family
>been going for 8 years
>everyone who goes there knows me
>if anyone needs advice they're sent to me

The way I give advice is when I show someone an exercise and/or good form I touch the part of their body they need to adjust for form or that the exercise works out.

It's just a normal thing, I don't touch the ass or anything but it's not weird and no one has said it was weird

one time

>young guy, looks 14 or so comes into the gym
>showing him good form on for a cable crossover
>touch chest when explaining what it works out and how
>feel soft tissue
>I think it's gyno
>he starts staring at me
>realize it was a girl
>tfw I sexually molested a 14 year old girl
>start panicking
>don't know how to explain it to her
>"oh my god you look like a dude im so sorry"
>just insulted a 14 year old girl immediately after touching her boob
>go through autistic drawn out speech about how much I'm sorry and how it was a mistake
>she's smiling

Now every time i see her in the gym she smiles at me and flirts with me
what the fuck do I do


inb4 fuck her

>>40332612
Make her suck your dick

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>>40330721
>2 years
>2pl8

>>40329411
Were they right?

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>>40330721
i was benching 2pl8 when you started lifting

>>40325996
You have no excuse to complain about your lonley life

>>40329513
>bodies not even /fit/ posts in their dream gf threads
When /fit/ isn't jerking off to big men they post ugly fat girls that fart a lot

>>40332868
You realize this is all fake right?

I'm literally the only poster (other than you) on /fit/
24/7 I have been posting on /fit/, pretending to be thousands of users, replying to myself, just to mess with you.

You have been duped, faggot.

This entire board, this entire website, is nothing but me and you.

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>>40332884

>>40332884
really makes you think

>be me in grade 12
>Really trying had to get with this cute Girl
>We go on dates and do stuff together
>Nothing happens for a while so I assumed she friendzoned me.
>Still really into this chick
> Just play along and hang out as friend
>She starts getting really touchy with me
>One day she asks if I can go out with her on valentine's day
>I say sorry I just see you as a friend
> Why am am I an autist

>>40332932
can you get a tripcode so I can hide all of your posts.

Autism would be going silent and walking away, this was intentional retardation

>>40332932
Got another story when I was in first year uni

>Download to see to end my dry streak during Christmas break
>Match with qt Asian chick from Australia
>Visiting where I am says I cute and that I should show her some cool places in the city
> Go skating and then get shots at bar
> We smoke a joint in a park
> After joint she also if we can go to my place
> Say that I can't my parents are home
>She says that we should go back to her place
>I say that we can't cause it's not her own apartment
> end the date right then and there and say I have to get home

Should I just cut off my balls, I don't deserve them

>>40332884
But I'm also making thousands of posts and replying to myself to confuse you

>>40332932
>>40333069
This hurt me to read

>>40332612
What if it was a trap all along?

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>>40320638

>>40330142
not true or funny

>>40324573
Third'ded

>>40326894
All it takes is one bad day to break a man

>>40328501
Had to look up what a Zooper Dooper is. Only in America would schools encourage kids to eat frozen sugar water, 12g sugar per serving. Fucking Americans

>>40328802
You don't know how old you were few years ago? Stay off the drugs kiddo

>>40329411
There's no need to be so rude. You are the master of the rudeness universe. I bet you won't even read this, how could you possibly be more rude?

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>>40324912
Yep

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Do I

>ask for number
>ask to hang out
>both

>>40319577
>girl i had a huge crush on tells me she really likes me
>tell her to fuck off
>see her suddenly looking really sad
>turn 360 and walk away fast
To this day i dont know what 15 year old me was thinking. She was so hot back then and got even hotter afterwards

>>40331065
can't spell mass gainer without ass

guess what m8

>>40332612
Groom her for 2 to 4 years into nubile cardiobunny waifu for laifu

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>cute girl who works at the day care at my gym
>want to talk to her
>remember that I'm not very attractive or successful or anything really, and there are many other much more attractive guys at my gym and in the world in general that she would surely rather be with than me
>can't rationalize essentially asking her to settle for my mediocrity when she could easily be with someone else who is better than me in every way because there's nothing about me that makes me inherently special
>will probably be alone forever because of this and I'm only 27 so I have a long ways to go until I die alone

nice

>>40332884
so I've been lurking through one mns shit for all this time? nice, wanna go for a beer some time?

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>>40325157
>>"weird fountain"

>>40334136
yes, in that order

ah who am I kidding I've only had 1 gf just do whatever if she like you it'll work

>>40325840
this

>>40331673
I think you're dyslexic m8. Twelve is 12, not 21.

>>40333332
you were so close...
>>40333333

>>40334188
ps if anyone would like to challenge my thought process here I more than welcome it

unfortunately I think the only answer is "dude just pretend ur the shit lol and get that pussy, hit it and quit it brooo"

>>40334064
pretty sure they're an australian thing m88, we eat em non-stop at work since we're in the middle of a heatwave.

>>40326855
KILL YOURSELF

>>40326439
it's kilos tho, so it's not bad, especially for beginner.
130 kg x 2.204 = 286 lb, which is pretty good famalam

>>40334064
>>40334244
It's a popsicle, calm down. What kind of third world country are you from where they don't have popsicles?

>>40326349
jesus you're disgusting

>>40327971
Lmao i do computer science and bench 185.
Maybe just get stronger bruh

>be me, 19 sophomore year of college
>hardcore classical conservatory so I listen to some pretty inaccessible music
>get sick of school gym's shitty equipment so i go to a nearby gym
>Philly has a lot so i find one nearby, it's pretty cool as far as i can tell, accommodates my routine well
>after a couple weeks start to meet some non-music normies
>actually a really nice change of pace, I like them a lot
>one day I go in and start my routine normally, put in headphones and turn on my music
>start getting some weird looks, everyone seems to be kind of pointing and snickering under their breath
>think I'm doing something wrong, head to lockers
>guy I hung out with a couple times stops me at doorway
>he mouths "what the fuck are you listening to"
>reply in what I think is a quiet voice "it's Schoenberg you faggot"
>everybody stops and stares at me
>take out my headphones and realize my music has been playing outloud this whole time
>realize i just shouted that to the whole gym
>face turns red, grab my bag and leave

I don't think I can go back

>>40334230

ANYONE, ANYONE AT ALL

HAHA


NOT LIKE I WANT YOU TO OR ANYTHIN GHAHAH ANOT LIKE I WOULD LIKE HOPE FOR MY LFIE ORANYTHINGALOL

>>40334320
Just own it, dumb niggers do that shit all the time where I live.

They'll walk down the street with their phone blasting rap

>>40332608
Kek, underrated comment

>>40334188
>>40334230
>>40334324
You are a beta with a poor sense of self worth. First, you have to make you want you.

>>40334203
I'm just terrified I'll fuck it up and it won't end well

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>>40320638

>>40319577

>Be me DYEL as fuck manlet with my lanklet friend
>doing SS, end of week 1
>decide to get protein powder because I live in a residence and can't cook for myself so I need to supplement it with protein since it's a macro I can sort of control this way and the most relevant one

Anyways

>go to shop with friend and the guy approaches us
>"so, what sorta whey you looking for?"
>"uh... Powder"
>"...Heh"
>get 20% off

>>40329411
serves you well for being a fucking entitled autismo

>>40334320
>hardcore classical conservatory
>philly
do you go to curtis /fit/bro?

>>40334374
Okay, let's follow through with this line of thinking

>you're fun to talk to, can I get your number and we'll hang out some time?
>no
and that's literally it

Are you in highschool or something where she'll tell all her friends that you were awkward and a dork? No? Who gives a shit what she thinks, if she doesn't want you she's the one who made a mistake. If you never ask and want her, you're the one who made a mistake. If you ruin your friendship then you were never friends to begin with.

>>40322596
Just assume they are until you have a very good reason to believe they aren't.
That's what Chad does.

>>40334414
Yes! I work under Robinson and Meyer

Do you?

>>40334442
no i go to temple
i was just curious

>>40334417
Don't get me wrong, I'm planning on saying something. I read stories of people holding in their thoughts/feelings for years and I don't know how the fuck they do it. The thing is we already email lightly and I don't know how to say "Hey, email is shit, let's talk on the phone instead and hang out." Then again maybe I will phrase it like that, kek.

Still, you're right. If it doesn't work out it is what it is. i just always overthink the phrasing.

>>40334480
If she's interested it really doesn't matter what you say as long as you don't get too spergy.

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>>40334442
>>40334414
wtf kind of clown college is this?

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>>40334511
>tfw your college isn't elitist and still hands out the same piece of paper

>>40334511
>>40334543
It's a pretty good school honestly.
Tuition free and they actually don't hand out the same piece of paper, they hand out performance diplomas which are super valuable in the orchestral community.
Most Curtis alums manage to land a position with a major symphony a couple years after graduating

>>40334564
Sorry my mistake I don't know anything about music degrees I chose something practical instead of rock star.

sexiness is 98% body

>>40320638
I dunno man, in high school I used to autistically say no to things when girls asked, and I get along well with most of them right now. If they even ask, as long as you own up to your decision with a reason (doesn't even have to be good, eg. I didn't feel like it) they brush it off.

>>40329303
Kek

>>40327740
First time someone asked to work in I had no idea what that meant and had to have it explained to me.

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>>40334494
Well I already spilled my spaghetti once and they didn't run away so I guess that's a good sign

>>40326236
>Hitting your PRs to David Byrne singing "Psychokiller"
good feel desu

>>40334642
Just go for it, there's a good chance she's too autistic to tell you to fuck off and just being nice. If that's the case, wouldn't you rather know so you can move on?

>>40326197
you should be losing sleep over it, you fucked up.

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>start going to gym a few months ago
>actual crush is also there
>actual crush becomes gym crush

I had like a 20 second conversation the first time I saw her there but other than that just completely ignored her, I've had several opportunities and several moments where I think she's been mirin but just not acted on it at all

what's wrong with me

>>40326236
tell her she's not your beautiful wife

>>40334847
You're probably intimidated, and the best way to face your fear is to go for it.

>be grill
>be fat
>work 2 years to lose all the weight
>still hate myself
>discover fit
>work two more years to get fit
>still hate myself
>Don't know how to dress to show off my body
>literally dress like a lesbian autist
>the nicest thing anyone has ever said about me is "She's not ugly but she's not pretty either"
>I can't even get anyone to have sex with me because I'm so fucking weird
>constantly preach about eating right and exercising
>I get the feeling that no one even believes I exercise
>use this as motivation

>>40334349
What makes you think you're so special? I'm asking that in a non sarcastic way

Tonight
>forgot phone in car but had headphones in
>fuck it guess I'll lift with no music today
>big guy (uuuu) motions at me and asks me something but mumbles so I can't hear it
>look away and pretend I didn't hear him
>taps me on the shoulder so I pull an earbud out
>"bro are ur headphones even plugged in to anything"
>had them tucked in my ears wth the cord jammed into my pocket but it had fallen out
>mfw I was sitting there with earbuds in but no headphone jack and someone called me out on it
>tried to mumble something about Bluetooth but he just laughed

>>40334886
That's pretty bad, why didn't you just go back to the car?

>>40332612
>inb4 fuck her
...fuck her

>>40334898
He probably lives in a shitty cold state like me and would rather forego music than go back out into the arctic

>>40334873
>These are what women feels look like

Literally go on tinder and find some dude. You will get matches, and all of them will want to fuck you.

>16 years old
>hanging out at the girl I like's house
>me, her, and one of her friends are watching pirated movies while her parents are away
>her friend sits in my lap the whole time
>starts grinding on me halfway into the movie
>I'm just wearing basketball sh orts
>says "wow, I can feel your dick through your shorts"
>tell her to be quiet, I'm trying to watch the movie
>movie ends and they want to play dressup or some shit
>literally strip down to bra+panties in front of me
>don't say or do anything
>friend is trying really hard to get me to strip
>tell her I'll just wait in the living room
>they give up on trying to get me to fuck and I go home wondering what the fuck I was doing
>literally every time her friend sees me at school after that she slaps me on the ass

I don't even understand what was going through my head. I'm still a virgin, and I was so nervous that I couldn't do anything back then.

tl;dr: Could have lost my virginity in a threesome with two 7/10s, one of which I actually wanted to date.

>>40334884
I like myself, or at least I try to.

That's all you can do, and if you manage it other people will like you too.

>>40334886
You could've pulled a Fetty and said that you keep them in your ears to keep the bugs from flying in.

>>40334873
Post pics, if for nothing other than progress.

>>40334886
Should have told him you don't like talking to people and you forgot your phone in your car.

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>>40334913
I don't have a picture for this cringe

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>be black /fit/izen
>not interested in white women
>couple of blonde trainers working around the same time I go to work out
>they visibly make a point of mirin, up to and including altering their client's workout plan to look
>think I'm imagining things until my headphones run out of battery one day, hear them talking about me behind me while I'm doing rows
>fucking autistic so I don't know what to do, end up looking everywhere but in their direction every time we're near each other now

>practicing breakdancing in the cardio classroom
>group of girls around 18 or so gather around the door to watch
>sit down and play Pokémon Showdown on my phone until they go away

>listening to motivational video before a PR attempt
>it's Les Brown
>get too hyped, scream IT'S NOT OVER UNTIL I WIN as Les says it in his speech and get the lift
>whole room wtfs
>pack up my shit and leave mid workout

>>40334913
I legitimately hate you

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>tfw reading all these stories has triggered memories of my own autism
>tfw going to drink myself unconscious

>>40334167
^this

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>hang out with bros and meet a cousin of one of them (grill) at a get-together
>play parlor games with everyone, one by one they leave the room until me and her are alone
>play pool together, drop spaghetti and talk about stupid stuff
>eventually leave, she runs up to high-five me and I accidentally intertwine our fingers
>squeeze her hand because I thought it was gonna be a handshake
>be mortified, feel my face getting warm, and walk out without looking back
>see her a month later
>she starts teasing me right off the bat in front of everyone
>thought she was actually making fun of me for being an autist last time
>ignore her and pretend she doesn't exist
>keeps trying again and again, I just keep ignoring until it's time to leave
>see her again ~6 months later
>she talks to everyone except me
>avoids looking at me
>pretends I don't exist
>realize eventually after googling 'how to tell if a grill is is into u' that they make fun of you on purpose
>every time we see each other we pretend the other doesn't exist
lame story but it sure was something for me cuz I never leave my room

>Really drunk at the bar with my brother
>I go up to these women and offer to buy them drinks
>They accept, and I talk with one of the girls, I recognized her from High School
>My brother goes outside to smoke leaving me hanging
>I realize I'm autistic and have nothing to actually say
>Conversation gets quiet, the girl pulls out her phone
>I literally just leave the table without saying anything and go outside to talk with my brother
>When we come back inside the girls are gone

Luckily I was drunk, otherwise I would have been embarrassed.

>>40334937
at least your dick is huge right

>>40334968
>buying her a drink
>buying the whole group a drink
BETA

>>40324990
>he could barely manage 40 kg
wut

even dyels can manage 1pl8 deadlift starting out

>>40334981
I feel like it'd be weird to see a group of girls (There was only 3 of them) and only buy one of them a drink.

>>40334985
That's literally the most alpha thing you can do, make sure it's the prettiest one.

>>40334937
>>be black
Die in a fire

>>40334994

get mad, pissbaby

>>40334993
It seems douchy, though. What if you gamble and lose, like she's with her boyfriend and some friend that she's trying to hook up?

You never know this shit. At least if you buy everyone a drink, you can scope out the situation and feel which one wants the cock more.

This is coming from someone who only had one gf in his life (Who he was a complete beta with), and only bought drinks for one group of girls at a bar ever. So I know my shit.

>finish squat set
>wipe bar
>qt gym worker sees me
>thanks me for wiping bar
>sees my local college branded shorts
>asks if I'm a student there
>say no but I was a student there a few years ago
>leave and continue workout

Was in a rush to finish so I could make it back to my wagecuck job. Maybe i'll chat her up a little bit more next time

>>40334994
>pretending to be racist because it's 4chan

Ur gay

Welcome to 4chan btw

>>40335025
It seems more douchy to sit in a bar with your friends waiting for useless beta orbiters to buy you another round before they sperg out.

Buy one of them a drink, take your pick but pick and stick.

>>40331779
you ever consider showering

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>>40334937
>Stop break dancing to play pokemon
This is next level

>>40334936
>>40334940
I wish I didn't have so many of these stories. For some reason I was fucking obsessed with having sex with another virgin. I was one of the most popular kids throughout high school, and most people thought I was gay.

>>40328802
that's the trashiest shit i've ever heard

>In college
>joined the Army to be able to afford it
>top 5 MechEng school, quite expensive.
>only Engineer in the ROTC program, so I'm valuable, full scholarship stipend, book allowance, can miss some Army shit for absurd class load
>in Calc 3
>every other guy in the class is a weak beta
>was good friends with one of them, he was brilliant, but a pussy
>get assigned with two girls for group homework
>have to meet at least twice a week for the challenging work
>so extremely stressed, core engineering classes all graded on a bell curve, Army obligations are significant
>these girls are pleasant to me, don't seem too bothered when I have to show up a sweaty mess from PT or whatever.
>during assignments we talk
>my mother was a picture farmer, I helped her work as a kid
>they ask me to come to their dorm and hang a picture
>my schedule is tight, but I eventually make time
>show up with some tools
>hang their shitty, pre made frame, boy band poster as quickly as I can
>I want to sleep, so I can wake up at 4:30, shave, take a bus to PT, and then go to physics without being able to shower
>they talk the whole time
>"we tried to ask the guy at Walmart for advice on how to hang it, but he just told us to flirt with some guy until he did it for us tee hee"
>theyre wearing pajamas
>they get close to me while I'm working
> suddenly I realize, they want to fuck
> spill spaghetti, star stuttering try to leave as quickly as I can
>the uglier girl, physically blocks the door
>I panic
>high school wrestling kicks in
>I for some insane reason double leg her it an attempt to leave
>this is what she wanted
>the other grill comes from behind and presses her tits against my back and breathes into my ear
>just dump the girl from my shoulders to the ground, she falls six feet like a sack of potatoes
>this merely encourages the grill
>breathing heavily, eyes wide, fight or flee has kicked in