Shit normies say

>counting calories? nah man too much effort and takes too much time
>proceeds to share 43 memes in failbook

He's not wrong.

>>40286378
they demand not being a pussy and using correct form ya know

>>40286378

Any exercise is bad for you if you do it wrong

I eat a lot

>why do you spend so much time on that weird website?
>isn't it full of nazis?
Yet they always share the memes I show them

>I cannot seem to lose weight, I have tried everything!

>>40286410
Fucking THIS

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>>40286363
> Doing intermittent fasting
> Friends are over for dinner
> after dinner still have room in my eating window for some fried eggs
> Friends as how the fuck I lose weight when I eat so much
> explain IF
> "Oh you shouldn't do that. Never skip breakfast Anon. You should also never eat before you go to bed. It goes straight to fat!"
> They keep bugging me about it
> few days later
> Friend asks if I had breakfast
> say no, because IF
> Says he's worried about me starving myself

RRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEE

Make up your mind, first you were telling me I was eating a lot and losing weight and now you're saying I think i am starving myself.

Why do normies always think they know everything there is to know about nutrition while they only know what their mum/grandma etc told them. I'm surprised they haven't started bitching about the amount of eggs I consume yet.

>>40286410
>admitting to anyone you browse 4chan

Might as well fucking kill yourself

>you shouldn't squat to parallel, it's bad for your knees
>anyone bigger than me has to be on steroids
>macros aren't a thing, so it's literally impossible for a vegetarian to get big
>I couldn't squat much so genetically you will never be able to do more than I ever did
Thanks dad

>>40286499

Man how much i understand you. Social life is the biggest obstacle to getting /fit/. People not only do not know what the fuck they talk about, they want you to do things their way

I became a social outcast

>>40286522
> Hiding your power level

Are your friends so vain that they judge you for going to 4chan?

Just tell them "yeah, some boards are shit, but it has some really nice content if you go to the right boards". Done.

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isn't that too many butterdogs for one person?

>>40286522
>muh secret internet club

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>>40286623
>it has some really nice content if you go to the right boards
literally lol'd. Every board is shit for its respective reasons.

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>>40286552
lmao dad cracks me up

> yeah I was always skinny like you son
> I trained alot and ate alot
> gained no weight before I turned 40
> it's how our genetics just are

Bulked from 65kg to 87 in 2 years, am now 24

>>40286522
Fun part is: When you're a normie, noone cares. My friends just imply I'm browsing it ironically.

>>40286729
>it's how our genetics just are
I get this one too. I love you dad, but I'm going to fucking show you

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>>40286560
I hate..i hate it..
It's so annoying. They see I am getting thinner and leaner. They compliment me on it even. I AM WALKING PROOF THAT WHAT I AM DOING IS WORKING. WHY ARE THEY EVEN ARGUING WITH ME!?


Ffffffffffuuuuuu

>>40286499
Intermittent fasting is a meme. Listen to your friends

>>40286499
>intermittent fasting
Enjoy no-gains

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>>40286363
>hey bro, you shouldn't eat dog food, it's bad for you
it's probably healthier than your overly-processed meals

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>>40286729
>going fat to prove a point

>>40286639
>>40287070
This board

>try to convince friend to go to the gym
>he's almost 30
>tell him once you hit 30 it's going to get harder by the year
>says he doesn't have the time
>he spends 3 hours every night making crafts with his wife
>can't even spare an hour

Have you ever met someone who was TOO normie?

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>>40287070
We have crossed a line

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>if I take roids i'd look like you
>Roids make your penis small
>I don't like roids because muscles look too exggerated
I don't even take roids kek

>>40287016
>>40287059
Sup Broscientists? How's life?

>>40287085
That's sounds really sweet.

>>40287070
>sharing your food with your doggo
>becoming better friends

your gonna make it bro.

>>40286623
>>40286669
That's not the problem, the problem is you don't want other people revealing their power level after you do. I mean have you met the people who browse this site?
I know two guys who come here and I keep my mouth shut and pretend I don't know about this place because I don't want them to unload a bunch of /v/ and /b/-tier humor thinking I like it too.

>>40286390
ITT: shit normies say
you've done it correctly my friendo

>>40286522
lol my gf knows im browsing 4chan
I even told her once i regret being a normalfag now, since i accuired a gf

>>40286374
also
>i'm not some tryhard to count calories
but wants to lose weight and buys fat burners and other shitty supplements

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>>40286623
>4chan
>good content

>>40287349
xD nice one1!

>>40286499

They just say the opposite of whatever you're currently doing to succeed to stave off their own subconscious knowledge that the only reason they aren't as good as you is themselves.

>>40287349
i'm new, what you mean by this?

>>40286499

What kind of IF are you on? Are you getting gains or just getting cut?

I've been trying the leangains protocol for a while with reverse pyramid training, and my lifts have actually been going up, though very gradually (at roughly advanced level weight).

>>40286363
> not using a belt

The only way deadlifts are bad is if you aren't using a belt and aren't using your legs for the bottom half of them.

>>40286499
Don't listen to your friends, anon.

Intermittent fasting allows you to harness that dark powers of HGH and insulin.

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>TDEE? Calories? Oh I don't have time for that, can you just give me some good dieting advice?

>>40288257
>he thinks belts are for safety

>>40288499
Belts are to help with proper form, which = safety

>>40288257
>>40288499
>he thinks deathlylifties are a back excercise and using a belt is nessecary

>>40288801
A lot of people do deadlifts on back day because it is a back exercise, it's also a leg exercise.

>>40288851
>back day
Hello r*ddit

>>40286499

See, the ONLY mistake you made here, and it's a big one, was to discuss your health/diet/training with your normie friends. I've found this with martial arts training, I've found this with how I eat, I've found this with lifting weights. Literally ANYTHING you do to improve yourself is going to threaten them. Keep it minimal, keep it vague, don't tell them what you're doing. Anytime you do something that isn't immediately hedonistic and comfort seeking will be seen as a threat to them. When people I know want to go out for foodI suck it up and eat less beforehand and BUDGET exactly what fast food I'll be forced to eat. When they come over I turn on the tv and pretend like it's not the first time it's been on in weeks. When they ask me what I'm doing I often lie and say I'm doing something other than what I'm doing, or just say I'm "busy" because there's no point telling them my actual schedule, or they'd think I was a fanatic.

By the way, this doesn't apply to just physical exercise. Not drinking, not watching porn, meditating, choosing to read the classics rather than binge on Netflix. I lie or misdirect about all of these things with all but my closest friends. The few people I actually trust. Don't tell people you're trying to improve yourself. They hate that. Just do it and ignore their reactions.

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>>40289611
>Don't tell people you're trying to improve yourself. They hate that.
This is why I only have like 2 or 3 close friends

>>40286522
I make sure girls know I lurk 4chan before we get to talking


I never get to talking with girls

>>40287085
>tfw no gf to marry and do crafts with

>>40287133
Yet you have a small penis

>>40286522
This

>I can't gain weight, my metabolism is too fast

Since this is a shit normies say thread, can I ask you guys something

Is it weird for normal people to complain so much?

I'm guessing it's just because I'm a pathetic friendless virgin loser, but I can't get over how much the normal people at my place of work COMPLAIN about EVERYTHING. If anything is a little bit difficult, or doesn't go perfectly for them, or any adversity, they complain about it.

I just wonder if because of my loserness that I don't think that their complaints are really worth complaining about?

>>40291230
It's not a normie-only thing, plenty of losers complain a lot too. Look at /r9k/. Just ignore them and make sure to not become like them. No one likes a whiner.

>>40291247
But is it normal for normal people to complain a ton or is it just me thinking that?

And I think the reason r9k complains so much is because they can't talk about their problems in real life to anyone because they get deemed to be school shooters

>>40291230
It's normal, yes. Because they literally do nothing with their lives besides work, go home, drink wine, and watch Netflix.

I find the people who complain and gossip the most are usually incredibly boring and shallow

>>40291273
are you grouping all "normal" people in that?

>>40291315
Not everyone is a complainer but there's always that one person in groups/workplaces that is known as the complainer.

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>mastic gum doesn't work

>>40291383
I unironically hope you kill yourself

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>>40291521
I'd hang myself but my jaw is too powerful

>>40291571
Or you'd just fail because the rope goes around your neck, you fucking inbred retard

>>40291580
It might get stuck on that huge nose

>>40291383
>>40291383

Dunno if it works or not but I fucking love the taste, texture, and viscosity. Destresses me pretty well.

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>>40291580
>implying I can fit my jaw through a noose.

>>40291230
Just be cheeky about it with them. I work with mostly women and when they start bitching too much I just feed it more into them and they liven up and joke around

>Please tell me more about the women you hate that you work with
>That sounds like you should get a divorce
>Light your house on fire with your boyfriend trapped inside
>Just start taking laxatives or throw up till you lose the weight

>>40291619
>implying you had a decent childhood and learned to adjust the size of a loop in a rope or string at the age of 8

Sorry your parents and you are actual fucking pathetic losers

>>40291619
Bosmer gains?

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>>40291619
Was this the look you were going for?

>>40287172
Every night sounds like co-dependence.

That shit is once a week tier at the fucking most.

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>>40286410
>2017
>not being a nazi

>>40291653
>>40291665

Its just a weird angle. My jaw gains frame my face in a way that mere mortals can't comprehend. Next you are going to say something like I am clenching

>>40291619
IT'S YOU

THE HERO OF KVATCH

>>40291676
I can tell you aren't clenching but I bet you don't have your teeth lined up perfectly

>>40286363
>lift with your legs, not your back
leave the lifting to me, manlet

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>oh you do 225 for reps?
>yeah well back when *I* lifted I used to bench 400

No you didn't you DYEL little cuck, you've been a bald skinnyfat since your college days and we all fucking know it.

>>40291698
To be quite honest, the mastic gum moved them out of place a bit.

>bro you shouldn't catfish girls on omegle for seven years and create a compendium of nudes

>>40291835
Do people still use omegle?

>>40291879

the camming one has tons of young sluts

>>40286378
Even Scooby recommends deadlifts.

>>40286560
You are a social outcast because you're an autistic sperglord

>>40290092
Lucky you, I only have one and she is my kind of gf..

> she is married and I'm cucking her husband, and all this went bonkers when we 2 caught feelings for each other

>>40287070
kek wtf man thats mental illness tier

>>40291665
this

>>40286363
>I'm strong for my size.

>>40288491
just tell them what they want to hear, this happens to me as well.i tell them to eat clean LEL

>>40286363
CrossFit is superior

>>40291619
lmaoo those fucking elf looking ears
you literally look like you're from Narnia

>>40291230
"Normal people" includes quite a wide span of people.

In the context of fitness, I've found the people mostly complaining being women over 30.

I have plenty of friends out of shape, most of them skinnyfat. They never complain about diets or staying in shape, they simply don't care.

>>40286499
>intermittent fasting
Sounds like a meme.
Explain the fuck is that pls.

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>>40286499
>mfw idiots who have been struggling with dropping 10lbs for years with their meme diets try to lecture me on how IF is bad and doesn't work

>>40288636
No, belts are to lift bigger numbers. If your form is shit, a belt won't fix it for you.

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>>40291383
>that nose
>those ears

>>40289611
>not watching porn

>>40293071
It's what happens when elves racemix with their dwarf captives

>>40287070
as much as the thought of eating smelly dog food disgusts me, you're probably right.

Animal food has way stricter laws for it to be healthy and nutritious, it's for sure better than "normie food"...

>>40289611
>keeping your uncommon hobby to yourself
agreed

>going out of your way to pretend to be something you're not
you are living a lie and you need to find better friends

>>40289611
I know man, but they asked, so i explained. It only dawned to me that i'd get shit for it when they started with their bullshit

>>40293029
Google it faggot. In short; not eating for a specified amount of time, and then having an eating window.


>>40293038
Yeah. I have been losing weight trough more "normal" means before but then started counting calories and eventualt IF. It works great for me and i like the big meals it allows me to have at dinner.

>>40289611
Are you me?

>>40291888
>The camming one
What do you mean? I want sloots...

>>40286410
>showing 4chan to normies
>giving them our maymays so they can share them on kikebook

Kys

>I don't get why you lift all the time Anon, just go talk to her

>>40286522
>gf disapproves of me browsing 4chan with all its "alt-right white supremacists"
>cannot comprehend that most of that is all confined to just one board and not the entire site

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>>40293460
>he doesn't frequent /pol/

>>40293533
>he unironically likes jewish controlled opposition

>>40288440
this guy knows, are you dr mike?!

>>40293210
what the heck are you bambling about? you clearly got ego issues

>>40293191
XDXD sure cause the health of animals is even more important than that of us

its a logical fallacy to think food for animals would be healthier.. who are you kidding omfg they care even less about those and guess why

BECAUSE THEYRE ANIMALS


retards.

>>40293533
As a non-Amerifag it can get pretty boring

>>40291666
>marriage isn't co-dependance

>>40291571
aren't you also the guy who keeps posting about
>SS is shit
and
>you can make gains with brosplits, look at me
?

you look pretty skinny there friend

>>40287768
Yep

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>ooooh, what was that video, anon? ;)
>oooooh working on those calves, anon?
>wtf anon, my veins look like that after i workout. are you on drugs or something? calm down mate
>anon, let me take a picture of you so I can upload it to my story "anon the gun lol :)"
>i'd vote for Hillary, because the guy over there is

Jesus, fuck all of them

>>shit normies say
>I love you
>but never to (you)

>>40286378
as long as you immobilize your spine with your core muscles there is nothing wrong with dead's

>>40291665
lost

>>40294028
this hurts more than it should

>>40286639
Kek'd audibly

>>40286406
FUCKING THIS

>>40289611
desu what the fuck kind of friends do the people in this thread have

I've never encountered sociopaths like you guys have apparently

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>>40293460
>/pol/ is just one board

>>40287016
Normie detected

>>40287172
That sounds really GAY!

>>40293387
>muh memes are getting stolen!
An adult male is triggered by this

>>40286410
all of my friends who even know what 4chan is think they're so funny when the bring it up "oh man I don't have virus protection better not go on 4chan HUEHUEHUEHUEHUE", the general public seriously think's this place is a breeding ground for hackers for some reason.

>>40294338
There is a good reason 4chan is shit now, and it's because the normies come here for memes.

>>40291619
wtf? r u an elf?

>>40286499

Never tell people you're doing intermittent fasting. It never makes sense to normies.

>>things normies say
>we're all gonna make it brah
>train like a sick cunt

>>40286363
"just be more confident bro "

>>40294868
I don't consider myself a normie, but I say this all the time

>>40286363
>caffeine pills? are you sure that's healthy?
*sips on venti sized extra strength espresso from starbucks

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>"you knoooooooow"
>looks at you smugly
>"when youuuuu get olllld"
>crosses arms
>"allllll that mussssssle"
>pokes you
>"will turn to FAT!"
>tilts head back and mugs at you leaning his head back

this has happened times, identical body language and stresses on the words, some borderline old guy who did some bench pressing from 30-40 at about 50kg for sets of 4-6 during add breaks in football or cricket, never actually putting up the weight or doing more than felt comfortable.

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>I'm going to start eating right and exercising

>traps ARE gay anon!

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>>40292071
mwf your oneitis is cucking you with her husband

>>40294942
Sounds like the perfect moment for no response at all. People really hate not getting responses.

>>40287133
How to I into surly clown mode?

>>40291571
Do you have fucking elf ears?

>>40287085
Making stuff is badass bro.

He should at least walk for 30 minutes a day if he isn't going to do any real stuff.

>it's fine if the tv volume isn't set to a multiple of 5
>you don't have to splash water on your face after each time you use a sink

>>40291619
IM YOUR NUMBER ONE FAN! Ahahahahhaaaahhhha

>>40286499
I keep hearing people give me the "don't skip breakfast" shit. Someone even said you need carbs for breakfast.

The fuck? Where do these people even get this information?

>>40295266
Well at least I'm not the one with no clue

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>>40295537
READ THE FUCKING COSMO

>>40293460
>JUST one board
If fucking only...

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>>40286639
>>40287070

Too far.

>>40286639
for this joke picture this person spent like 10 bucks on hot dog buns and butter and actually made these...

do you think he took a bite of one?

>file name
please tell me about your butter dogs

>>40295638
Welcome to /ck/, enjoy you're stay

>>40293533
/pol/ takes itself way to fucking seriously and is a massive circlejerk., its worse than reddit in its current state

>>40293228
I was reading Hippocrates for school and back in ancient Greece they ate one or two meals a day. I imagine they were cut af. Sounds like IF is on the right track.

>>40293533
>hasn't produced a decent meme since the primaries
>reddit-tier thin skin
>reddit-tier earnestness
>reddit-tier repetition of old memes and comments
>in a constant state of panic over being raided
>constantly shit up every other board
Ditched it months ago. Check it every once in a while and am reminded why.

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>>40287070
macros ?

>>40288851
Only purpose of deadlifts for me is so I don't have a weak lower back

>>40291619
I don't want to buy a Switch or a Wii U to play your new game

>>40287070
>Used to work at a dog food plant
>Smells of fried chicken

>>40291230
This entire thread is about complaining.
Let that sink in for a moment.

>>40291653
>>40291665
>>40291688
Fucking kek

>>40293057
Is using a belt cheating?

What about straps?

>normie friends make fun of me because I'm cutting and cant get blackout drunk every weekend
>roommate complains that house stinks of fish because that's all I eat
fuckity offity

>>40287070

disgusting kraut

>>40286363
>>hey bro you shouldn't do deadlifts they are bad for your spine

True

>>40297329

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>>40291619
Just found another photo of you on google OP

>>40291619
A noose can be as big around as my dick or even bigger, so your jaw can definitely fit through one.

>>40296100
this post actually S H O O K me

>>>>40291230

I work as a nurse. 97% of the stuff women talk about is complaining. It's not worth it to become a normie

>>40286406
lol this tiny ass twig of a girl in my class is always saying how she eats a fuck ton and it pisses me off tbqh

>>40286406
But I do eat a lot faget

>>40286961
This might be hard to understand as a dumb frogposter, but they probably admire you and want to be part of your social circle. There are two ways to understand this, depending on whether you're a theory-x or y kind of person:

- They are impressed by your ability or proficiency and want you to like them so they try to display their worth to you in hopes of you accepting them as an equal, OR

- They're intimidated by you and are trying to compete with you by flexing their knowledge (due to lack of actually being /fit/ af)

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>>40291619
>have you heard of the high elves?

>>40291383
please stop shilling your shit product on the site we are no interested.

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>>40291619
mfw all these people think you're Alex and are replying seriously

>>40294118
It's because they're the sociopaths or autists who can't navigate a social situation and exaggerate how negatively people react to them talking about this.

>>40287435
This place isn't good, it is marginally less shit than other "boards"

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>>40295462
>it's fine if the tv volume isn't set to a multiple of 5
I know it's incredibly autistic, but growing up with everyone in my family abiding by this rule it's pretty much impossible to shake now.

>>40286729
My dad does the same strange almost crossfit-esque routine in the garage that he's been doing for well over 5 years.
He never increases his weight "because it hurts his joints"
>maybe it wouldn't hurt your joints if you just lifted normally

>>40287151
It IS a fucking meme retard.

The only thing that matters for a casual lifter is calorie amount, some macros and having a semihealthy diet.

You will and cannot cheat physics even if you keep lying to yourself.

>>40298368
OCD =/= autism

I'm perfectly fine in social settings. I just need these two things to happen or I have to correct them.

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>>40287070

>>40291383
WORSHIP OF TALOS IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN!

>>40299226
Top fucking kek

>>40298896
You're autistic. IF has nothing to do with thinking you're cheating physics. IF is an easier way to cut, because instead of worrying about eating small things throughout the day and being potentially hungry at the end, you don't eat for most of the day, and allow your entire caloric intake at the end. You're retarded

>>40293071
you problems with those N'wah?

>>40299017
Odd quirks=/=OCD
Calling that shit OCD is normie tier. Every normie who color codes their closet, likes their volume to be a multiple of 5, or wants their desks to be neat says they have OCD. OCD is what makes people pull out their eyelashes because the sink wasn't shut off at the correct time, screaming out stuff like NIGGER in public, or getting extreme panic attacks because you saw a blue Volkswagen which means the world is going to end.
You and your normieness disgusts me.

I don't lift weights because I don't want to get *too* big

>>40289611
What kind of shitty fucking friends do all you fuckers surround yourself with?

Back in my home country (third world) all my friends were DYEL or overweight nerds and literally all but one of us took to working out seriously at the same time and the one guy who didn't is shot encouraging of self improvement and not a jelly entitled fgt about it, and we all keep their each other updated on progress across borders.

And then I came to the US for uni (inb4 pol-tier responses from brainlets), I was able to convince my newly acquainted group of sedentary friends here to hit the gym and literally all of us are doing it here and making progress.
The reason I'm saying this is to emphasize that no matter where you are on the globe or what society is like it's not hard to find people similar to yourself who want to get better. How every last person here's friends here ditch them the second you hit the gym boggles my mind. How is it this hard to make the right friends?

>>40299320
>if it's not stage four it isn't really cancer

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>>40299226
omfg

>>40294435
so leave faggot

>>40295638

I would have at least had a bite....then probably puke

>>40291230
no, they always complain about the most arbitrary shit.

>>40286697
/co/ does storytimes often and they are a lot of fun to lurk/post on if your a fan of whatever they're posting

>>40296090
no shit?

>>40289611
>living this much of a double life to avoid conflict with people you seem to hate

Fucking why? Just find more like-minded people you idiot.

>>40291230
In my experience it varies from person to person.

A lot of my close friends seem to only complain when they truly need empathy and otherwise are to just deal with smaller stuff on their own.

But I do know plenty of complainers irl

>>40293191

It really isn't. Most dog food is just abattoir floor scraps mixed with corn floor scraps.

>friend was a hungry skeleton all through high school
>being skinny was basically his "thing", he and everyone would joke about it
>years after graduation, we're at the beach
>he's gotten pretty damn fat, not FAT fat, but still
>still has scrawny limbs to fool you, but if you put them in proportion no one would call him skinny
>he comments that he didn't have breakfast
>"woah there friend, you're the last person who should be losing weight!"
>"lawl I doubt that's even possible with how skinny I am, I'd just disappear entirely!"

>>40299804
every single human has quirks of OCD-ness
cmon bruh
ur not a special snowflake

>>40295638

It's not like they're tainted, just gotta wrap the butter back up and refrigerate it.

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>>40291619
You got a good jaw but

WHAT IN GOD'S NAME IS UP WITH YOUR EARS

>>40300454
That's fair. But i want teeing to be a special snowflake. I was just saying its more ocd than autism. That was the point I was making. If we're going to start analyzing it, I think the water is a hell of a lot more ocd than the tv volume for whatever it's worth.

>>40286410
My very few close friends and girlfriend know I browse 4chan as a habit because while I don't talk about it or show them things from it they've seen me browsing it, and I'm not a child afraid to get caught doing something so I didn't hide it from them. They don't care, they're all pretty relaxed about that kind of thing and they all know that I'm a pretty harsh conservative.

>>40299804

If it's not OCD, it's not OCD

>>40300563

OCD and autism are disorders, not descriptions. That's like someone saying their foot hurts and responding "that's more like diabeetus than cancer," then for some reason trying to counter the fact that no, it's neither.
Like, fair enough to use shit like that as descriptions, lord knows it's common, but comparing it to fucking stages of cancer as if an actual disorder is really present isfucking retarded.

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>>40289611
Your mistake is that you don't have friends that share the same interests

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>>40298081
>Mouth goes from wide dorky smile to a clenched bleached asshole

>Not clenching

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>>40286363
>Anon eating all that meat isn't healthy for you, you should eat salads if you are trying to get in better shape
>Said normie goes gets a salad with tons of bullshit on it and empties a bottle of ranch on it, a sugary drink, and barely has a snack/candy bar after it
>"You see anon dieting to lose weight is about balancing it out, I'm toning up for the summer"

hate that shit so much

>Go out with coworkers for lunch
>"fit" people at work telling me what to eat and not eat
>"Yeah anon carrots, and noodles are bad for you. All those carbs will really hurt you in working out"
>Well, I'm not going overboard with my carbs, besides my workout routine accounts for my diet
>"going to regret it anon! I only maintain my body because I was a really good wrestler in high school that's how I maintain such a good body!" (he doesn't have that good of a body at all
>3 hours later
>"hey anon we are all going to hit up happy hour wanna come?"

"Wow anon, you can eat anything and still look good. I wish I had a fast metabolism like you!"

I feel kinda fortunate that my best friend growing up was a skinny girl who really DID eat like a pig and not gain any weight, because she was a fucking athlete.
It's maddening how many sedentary skinny people overestimate how much they eat (or the inverse for fat people who "just can't seem to lose weight").

>>40286639
What the hell kind of diet is this? It ain't keto

Normies hate commitment, they get weirded out when you start talking about things you are passionate about. I hate it.

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>>40300094
i've got no where else to go

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>>40292001

>>40301595
Nice meme image f*ggot, if I wanted a comeback I'd wipe it off your moms chin.

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>>40286410
>tfw the people around me all assume/know that I browse 4chan and automatically go to me whenever its brought up

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Got a normie story for y'all.

>Been going to the gym for the last 6 months
>Still a DYEL, but not nearly as bad as when I started, lost 25 pounds of fat, then slowly bulked up.
>All my friends in my dorm hear this
>New Years
>Suddenly have a bunch of skinny-fat nerds asking me to be their free PT
>fuckit.jpeg
>Three of them are chill, start doing SL or SL+GOMAD for the skinny one
>Then there is the 4th horseman of the Apocalypse.
>"I looked, and behold, a lonely nerd; and he had the name DYEL; and Brosplits was following with him"

It would be easier to just list out everything he did wrong

>I had to wake him up at 9, cause he couldn't be assed
>He skipped breakfast
>I ask him if he needs any nutritional or programming advice because hes starting again after a long break
>"Nah man, I'll just do what I always do"
>Here_We_Go.png
>When we get the gym, he doesn't warm up or weigh himself, he bolts straight to the seated ab rotation machine
>proceeds to use it for 5 minutes on the lowest setting
>gets up and heads to the dumbbells
>picks up two 5 pound weights
>proceeds to do 3x??? sets of bicep curls
>heads over to the treadmill and uses it for 20 minutes
>leaves
>at this point I'm wondering where he went
>notmyproblem.gif


>be me
>finishing the rest of my workout after around an hour and a half, a good 30 minutes have passed since my gym partner left
>he shows up out of nowhere and talks to me
>"Hey dude, I'm going to leave now"
>"Okay. Where did you go?"
>"I was on the toilet for the last half hour"
>"Did you eat something bad? What did you eat the last few days?"
>"Uh, half a pizza and a protein bar over the last 2 days"

>Jesus Fucking Christ

He texted me today and said hes excited to go to the gym with me tomorrow.

Kill me.

>>40294394
I used to know a guy in high school who would constantly bring it up because of the "random edgy hacker" culture he falsley identified with this site. It got to the point where I sat him down and had him show me around this site on his phone that I figured out he would actually just look at /pol/ screencaps on Ifunny.

>>40301714
>"I was on the toilet for the last half hour"
>"Did you eat something bad? What did you eat the last few days?"
>"Uh, half a pizza and a protein bar over the last 2 days"

Wtf what's wrong with this guy?

>>40300240
/co/ is tumblr outside of the scans people upload

>>40301828
A lot of things apparently if he takes 30 minute shits and doesn't weigh himself before lifting.

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>>40301893
>weighing yourself before lifting.

>>40301893
>doesn't weigh himself before lifting
???

>>40291619
fuck your jaw what kind of exercises are you doing to get those sweet ear gains my dude?

>are you on that protein?
>have you heard of that creatine drug?
>what do you mean you get protein from food

>>40286639
I had to eat one of those when pledging my fraternity

>>40298896
that's not the point of IF you goddamned retard.

yes, the 1000% increase in hgh is a meme.. but the real benefit of IF is that it allows you to eat bigger meals later in the day, when MOST people get hungry.

>>40298702
What does he do?

>>40293619
cancer

>>40300814
He's giving you solid advice.

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>>40301930
My ears are actually pretty normal, my jaw just frames them weirdly

>>40302193
>my jaw makes my ears look elven
whatever you say

>>40301714
You're not describing normal people.

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>>40301695
>tfw when the DNC hacks were going on my family asked me about it to confirm because "you like computers anon"

>>40295044
they are, faggot

>>40287188

This shit right here. If people know you browse here, they'll make the kind of jokes here in real life and it doesn't turn out well.

>>40286522
>NO DONT JUDGE ME IM NORMAL STACY HAHA I GO ON NETFLIX AND FACEBOOK ONLY WHATS THIS 4CHAN.ORG? I OPENED IT BY ACCIDENT

this is what YOU sound like

>>40287070
bbb.b.b..but no nutrient chart

>>40289611
>When they come over I turn on the tv and pretend like it's not the first time it's been on in weeks
kek did this just this week

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>>40286363
>no 175lb man in a karate gi is gonna choke ME out with his brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, i will just bench his side control off me

Fucking normies i swear

>>40296865
>>roommate complains that house stinks of fish because that's all I eat


That one is legit though. If you're not eating fish yourself, and someone else you know is, that shit shells rancid.

>>40286639
>>40287070
I fucking love you

>40291230
They probably just complain to start a conversation, just for social reasons, not necessarily because something actually bothers them.

>>40291835
He said, while not providing said compendium.

>>40301874
No, really, /co/ fucking despises the leftst streak on tumblr.

>>40286406
>hee hee, im just naturally small I eat a lot like i loooove pizza!
*eats one slice of pizza as her only meal for the day*

>>40286499
They're just looking out for you mate

>>40286639
A-anon, I

>flatmate asks to come to gym with me
>deadlifting 3pl8 cos I'm a weak pussy
>flatmate suddenly gets super competitive 'I bet I could lift that'
>cannot even budge it
Haha normals get FUCKED

>>40291230

Fuck I notice this all the time in supermarkets or pharmacies when there's a line

Any time there is any kind of momentary holdup for any reason, without fail, the behind me starts bitching about it to the back of my head. "MAN CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS SHIT? THEY GOTTA FIX THIS MAN." They'll act like it's an ice breaker or something.

When I don't respond, they'll bitch to the person behind them instead, who will then most likely agree.

The wait in line becomes twice as annoying simply because of the fact that they refuse to shut up until they check out. This is just one normie custom I can't ever subscribe to.

>>40295928
>they were cute as fuck
You do realize painting and statues from that epoch do not reflect the reality