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Ok /fit/ I need your help. I know this is going to sound really out of place being posted here of all places but you all have the most experience with this so here it goes. It's going to be bloggy so if you hate that sort of thing please disregard this thread.
I've been cranking it to hentai for about a decade now and I really want to leave it behind. I'm tired of feeling the rush in my heart and brain and balls every time I see a provocative enough image or scene. I'm not ugly, I'm not fat, I don't have autism or any of that. I go to college, have a job, work out and all that good stuff. I'm not bad looking, hell I can talk to people of the opposite sex without losing my spaghetti. But even with all that just a little less than half my life has been inundated with hentai, since I was about thirteen.
I want to have sex. I want to see what it is like. I need to know if it's better than this, if it can be better than jacking off to hentai every damn day. I've had about 3 or 4 sexual experiences, but they were drunk or with girls who were anything but attractive. Long and short of it is I couldn't keep it up with a real girl, but at this point (seven days with no hentai, but a few orgasms) just seeing a provocative image is enough to set my nervous system on fire. I have no idea what to do. I know it isn't realistic to expect to completely remove the rush I get from looking at hentai or ecchi, but I want to be able to have sex as well, if nothing else but to see how good it can be.
I'm tired /fit/. I'm so tired of fighting. I'm tempted to just give up on sex altogether but I can't do that in good faith until I see how good it can be. I just don't know what to do.
pic related. Worst fear.
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Anything?
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>>40106458
Keep going. Find something to motivate you. This is important. Any thing you do will become a habit after ~27 days from my experience.
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>>40106615
Thank you for the advice man, anything helps.
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Try tinder if you live on campus. Force yourself to meet girls for you to blow your load. By this I dont mean dont cum until you have sex, because you will splooge early. I mean reward yourself with a wank before the date, it will clear your mind and by the time the encounter comes your dick should be ready.
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>>40106631
Not sure what I can tell you tho. I was always skelly and it was hard as fuck for me to gain weight, but one day I kept doing it and after like a month I just couldn't look bad. Not eating feels horrible to me now.
Maybe you can turn yourself around as well.
Oh and that motivation thing is really important. Find something to always think of. Can be as autistic as it wants, as long as it keeps you focused. Be it your ex-gf, your mother, Taylor Swift or Adolf Hitler.
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>>40106643
See all of that is perfectly understandable and reasonable, thank you! I've always been a touch intimidated by tinder, was it difficult for you to get into?
>>40106651
I mean it's a bit of a double edged sword; I love anime and manga. So that keeps me going through my week, but insofar as motivation to move past my weakness is concerned the desire to be able to have sex is the only pervading thought. I feel like I need more though, the temptation to give in, "Oh don't worry about it face this demon later~" is strong. I need more. I recently begain boxing after a long haitus, the effects that had on my mind and body were fantastic.
Non sequiter; I started by putting this on /a/. Ended with a janitor trying to have me banned twice. Bunch of crabs in a bucket, they are. Irrelevant though. Thank you both for your imput!
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Well thank you for your imput guys, I'll take a peak at the thread tomorrow if it's still alive.
Thanks.
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>>40106458
You seem to be at conflict between what you really want and what you tell yourself you want.
Your'e continuously saying you want things to be a different way yet don't put the effort to actually make them so.
Consciously or unconsciously, we make choices based on what we really want.
True change will only come to you once staying the same would scare you a hell lot more than changing.
The subject at odds is irrelevant. Jack your brains out to hentai for all eternity if that's what you really want.
That doesn't make you a better or worse person. Just come to terms with yourself and what you really want.
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