Social Gains

>>40067799
>tfw not shy but hate people and social anxiety at work

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>>40067799
Used to be an introvert until I started reading books and novels. Seeing and analyzing what people spoke and the appropriate timing to bring up a subject saved me from being a huge loser.

i've never had a gf never kissed a girl never been on a date and i'm 21 years old what do you think?

>>40067837
Why do you guys associate social validation with not being a loser?

>>40067983
because what society thinks of you is what you are, society sees being a introvert as strange and creepy.

>>40067837
u srs? i started reading fiction and want to justify it. will this help with social skills?

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I have no trouble talking to people or approaching strangers, but I prefer to be alone. Used to be a loner kid and that's something that at least partially stays with you for the rest of your life

>>40067875
I did kiss a girl, but other than that, same.

>>40068016
If the author's a good writer, then sure. It will help you.

>>40067799
introvert

have a gf, couple of really close friends, lot of acquaintances but they're mostly worthless.

by just taking care of myself. sucked socially for a while, started working out, eating right, focusing on career, etc. and the social gains just naturally followed.

I dislike certain things about most people, but I can almost always find something I like about someone.

I care about having friends and banging chicks so I guess so, but I don't think about it that often.

Anyone here... S-s-stutter sometimes? In situations where you really need to be able to speak your mind properly?

I'm generally pretty good. I'm well liked, pretty funny, good at driving a conversation to interesting places.

As much as I like being around people, I find they always let me down. I have difficulty trusting anyone. I'm desperately lonely really and I think that would surprise a lot of people that know me.

>>40068100
i do when i'm talking in front of a crowd and my cheeks turn red

I used to be extroverted and socially outgoing until my girlfriend left. Now I am just cocoon mode 24/7. This is terrible.

>>40068003
introvert =/= socially awkward

you can make any thing look alpha if you have an alpha mindset

>>40067799
I'm introverted in the sense that I don't give a fuck about anyone except my immediate family and I view young attractive women as little more that fucktoys. Everyone else I keep at arms length unless they prove to be decent and upstanding. Basically I think most people are cunts and I want nothing to do with them and I'm sure the feeling is reciprocated.

I like being alone but I don't like feeling isolated, I used to be a depressed hikikomori but I was saved by my friend. I will never be a normie but most people appreciate the way I see the world.

Fucking horrible. I only leave my house for work and the gym. Want to make friends and get a girlfriend but have no idea how to do that.

I have a pretty close group of friends now but I've been single for 3 years now and only had sex once and kissed with 3 girls since. But my last kiss has also been more than a year ago, so something has gone wrong in my head or something.
I have no idea how to make new friends outside my existing cirle, or how to flirt/date with girls. The kisses and sex all happened in a grey area between friend, FWB and 'dating'.
Whenever I'm with some of my friends I feel OK, but the minute I am alone I feel depressed and lonely as fuck.
I wouldn't say I'm the best socially.

>>40067799
As an only child & an introvert, playing sports my whole life was how I found my place in the pecking order. Got swole as a senior in HS and now I'm a Senior in college and in a fraternity. Drinking and chasing girls is hella fun but if you believe in wellness then lifting and such should outweigh party time. I'm very social but I want muh aesthetics back by the time I graduate in a year; Getting out of shape takes a hit on the confidence even if others can't see

Im pretty extroverted. Have never trouble finding friends, had 18 roommates so far and have gotten along with all of them, was popular in school. Had lots of crazy partying and travel experiences shared with people from many countries and Im convinced that my outgoing personality made that possible to a certain extent

I'm an introvert, being introvert doesn't equal social autism.

I enjoy lifting alone, enjoy relaxing by myself and what not. When in social settings i can adapt and be the "life of the party"

The reason i'm introverted is because i grew up in a sort of "speak when spoken too" life.

>>40068129
This guy.

Being "Alpha" is all a mindset.

As an example, albeit a Hollywood one, look at Clint Eastwood.

>>40068515
the
>just have a alpha mindset meme
yeah have a alpha mindset when you are ugly and see how far that takes you

>>40068003
Eastern cultures would disagree.

Do the people around you see it that way?

>>40068531
I'm not sure what you mean by "Alpha". I don't say that condescendingly I just don't know what aspect of it you're referring to.

I don't think that men with purpose care (that much) about what they look like. A lot of the most "Alpha" guys I've known haven't been attractive in the "Mens Health" magazine/Metrosexual sense.

>>40067799
>tfw 5'6

>literally me on the right

>nuff said

>>40068531
you're mistaking being alpha for being CHAD. all CHADs are alphas but not all alphas are CHADs

I hate most other people and feel no desire to connect in social situations.

All I care about are my gains and my waifu

>>40068100
i do man fucking suck i read aloud whenever i have the chance with a pen in my teeth

>>40067875
Didn't kiss a girl until I was 21. Didn't have sex until I was 22 in 2016.

That year I had sex with 3 different girls. 2 of them had boyfriends. And I was seeing two of them concurrently. You'll be fine. You just gotta put yourself out there.

It's true what they say about confidence being key. Also, be attractive and don't be unattractive.

Anyone else do therapy/counseling?

I'm mostly doing it because I was a borderline alcoholic but I'm hoping she can help with my anxiety/social skills as well

>>40068109
Take a breath before speaking and speak from the belly.

>>40068100
When I get nervous I end up changing what I want to say half way through saying it so I end up sounding like a retard. Like when checking out at the grocery store the other day day I started saying "thank you very much" but then half way through decided to say "thanks a lot" instead and ended up saying "thank you very a lot" and got the "I'm embarrassed for you" smile from the qt cashier

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I have no words. I've been locked in a house for 5 months straight with no human contact expect for fleeting interactions with my family. I'm a few steps away from becoming clinically insane. C'est la vie though amirite.

Still an introvert but trying to get better. Slowly realizing that so many fucking people
around me are pessimistic as shit.

I have trouble opening up convos and I'm not good in group conversation and just like to listen to others talk. I'd really like to make better social gains but I doubt myself so much


I want to like most people but fucking NJ makes it difficult. I just want to discuss similar music and shit with people. My interests are all over the fucking place

>>40067875
didnt kiss till i was 20 and didn't have sex till 23

not missing much, personally I'm slowly not watching porn anymore

>>40070266
Kek

>>40068266
Hey me too! You're not alone bro

>>40070383
same. im in school now but my program is 95% brown guys. most classes i have the only person speaking english is the prof

>>40068515
so you want me to be a good looking, tall Chad?]

how does he portray an alpha mindset?

>>40068003
Being an introvert doesn't mean you don't speak. I know many introverts who like to talk. Introverts don't get their energy by being with people, unlike extroverts.

>>40067799
>How is /fit/ socially?
terrible
>Are most of you extroverts or introverts?
intorvert
>What is your current social situation/environment?
no friends no gf
>How have you made social gains?
haven't
>Do you like or not like most others people?
I hate everyone
>Do you actually care about social gains?
no

>>40068720
same man
i wish i wasn't lactose intolerant as a kid

Are most of you extroverts or introverts?

>Extrovert in professional environment where I teach as an adjunct magnet high school teacher. Also Extrovert in my PHD environment.

>Total introvert when I get home where I just research and hang out with my dog. Don't fucking bother me.

What is your current social situation/environment?
>I don't have a steady relationship as too busy. I have many friends I can call up on the dime, but I got some research deadlines coming up.

How have you made social gains?
>Having a really rough period from 14-18 where I failed a suicide attempt and ended up in a psych ward for a bit of time. It was the lowest I'd ever gone and everything since then has been ascent. I learned to become more comfortable with myself and then more understanding of other people. Really helps when teaching my students in that same age range.

Do you like or not like most others people?
>I generally like everyone I meet and have very good conversation skills. I'm always known as being eccentric in personality, but completely reliable and professional.

Do you actually care about social gains?
>Nope

>tfw promoted at work and forced to come out of your shell and lead/direct people

>>40068100
>>40070266

Sounds like me. Look up the term "cluttered speech" or "cluttering". Pretty much fits me to a t.

Not the end of the world, but I still get tripped up more than I would like.

>>40071442

I hate when they take the best sales person and make them manage the sales team. Manager are leaders and need to be people friendly, the best workers should get the raise and retain their current position.

t. business efficiency fag

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>tfw introverts make better leaders

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0KYU2j0TM4

>>40068100
Occasionally, i do it in front of girls to sometimes, just carry on like nothing happend and people won't care. sometimes qts make fun of me for it in a flirty way.

Who /avoidant/

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>hang out with girl that I fucked before
>say bye
>she says love you bye

Is this another layer of confusion by the female sex? I think I might be actually autistic because it's so had to keep up with their games

I'm socially retarded but also an introvert.

>>40068157
This isn't introversion, it's just being an unempathetic ass hole

Extrovert, unfortunately I just moved to Atlanta from Tampa and I don't know a single fucking person.

Currently I am a fucking loser with 0 friends

In my home town I was in a fraternity so I have a ton of friends and through sororities met tons of girls

I try to like everyone, sometimes there is just that one person though..

I would like to find some hot girls here, other than that no

>>40070575
Dude, stop listening to these autists talk about social skills. The truth about confidence isn't about making everyone in the room like you, it's about liking yourself enough to know that it doesn't matter if someone else doesn't like you. If you're kind and open to other people, then a person who doesn't like that probably has their own issues.

Everyone is just human.

I'm not sure what I am, but I've somehow ended up with no social life of any description. The only way to "go out" would be alone, so I'm throwing in the towel.

Accidental cocoon mode 4 lyfe

>>40071613
>I try to like everyone, sometimes there is just that one person though..

Dude, I do the same thing. I used to be an ass hole to that person and found out that most people don't like that guy either, but then I'd feel bad. You just have to find something to like about them from the beginning, even if it's something simple like a TV show. Be nice to that person and their personality will change around you. Other people will start to tolerate them as well. You don't have to be friends, but if you're nice to them, carry on small talk or laugh at a couple of their jokes, you'd be surprised at how much easier it makes being around them.

>>40071528
Yup.
But it inherently doesn't make for discussion.
I seek out isolation for the same reasons anyone becomes socially avoidant, but it kind of backfires because I do genuinely want to connect with people and I actually do have social needs that I wish were fulfilled.
>tfw no acknowledgement and approval

>>40071626
>>40071626
i haven't had a friend in years
it doesn't matter to me if people like me anymore

where is my gf?

>>40067799
Introvert but somewhat shy. Have a group of close friends that I mostly hang out with. Can only hang out with said friends for a while before wanting to go home and relax. I'm fine with talking with my group but I just hate small talk. I just can't think of anything to say.

>>40067799

I'm very social depending on the situation. I'd say I'm introverted in general but have no problem talking to people I know and could go on and on conversating especially if it's just a couple of people i'm talking to. If I'm in a group of people it's harder to keep up with the conversations.

I don't give a fuck about people at work.

I don't give a fuck about people at the gym.

I don't give a fuck about anyone I don't know or am friends with.

That's just the way I am.

Introvert mostly, but when I have to go out in public I pretend to be an extrovert. But it's really tiring so I usually have to retreat a bit before going back in. I've been alone for so long that I know myself inside and out, and so a huge part of my confidence comes from this; already knowing who I am invalidates what people only think of me.

>Are most of you extroverts or introverts?
Introvert

>What is your current social situation/environment?
Work friends ish, only really text or talk on facebook to a couple of them. 1 bro I've had since high school (15 years ago) I still meet up every couple weeks for wings. Probably like 3-5 "real" friends.

>How have you made social gains?
I'm a consultant so I need to be personable. I have no problem talking with people of any age and can feign genuine interest to make people blather on for hours. I need to keep both friendly and professional connections to all my clients.

>Do you like or not like most others people?
Most people are completely self centered and asshats. The best people I deal with are teachers. Parents are almost always terrible but I can't blame them, I have a 2 year old and I get 4-5 hours of sleep a night. Some people are just bad at hiding it.

>Do you actually care about social gains?
Honestly no. I wish I had more motivation to actually go to the gym. I stay in shape enough through hockey and my hobbies but I want to start lifting again. Don't want to start now because I don't want to be labeled a newyears fag so I'll give it another month or 2 and join the gym near work.

>>40067799
I have always been an introvert, but lots of girls started hitting on me. It's fun, but I got a girlfriend. I don't like the sleeping around lifestyle.

>>40068022
This

I won't go out of my to talk to strangers, and I have too then I keep it short. I'll be friendly and talkative if I know we'll be around each other like classmate or a new coworker.
My gf will talk to everyone. The cashier, an attendant, someone waiting in line, its nice that she's so outgoing but she's too trusting and naive.

>>40071901
You have to also like other people...

How to be social when 99% of the people at my work are socially inept pajeets? Seriously it is a complete bore trying to have a decent conversation with non native English speakers. I can feel my social skills atrophying desu

>>40067799
>Are most of you extroverts or introverts?
Extrovert

>What is your current social situation/environment?
Been single for 6 months after ending a 1year old relationship. Have lot of friends and acquaintances.

>How have you made social gains?
I went from quasi-school shooter social reject to normie when I entered college. No one knew so I could be anyone I liked.

>Do you like or not like most others people?
I am the most positive person you'll ever meet. If you are nice to me, I will treat you as a friend.

>Do you actually care about social gains?
I am alright right now. A hottie as booty call or entering a polyamorous relationship would make it perfect.

I met a girl recently and fucked her that night. soo..I'm probably not like most people here. IF I had to guess.

I've always been way more social and personable than my fat sack body should have let me be, so I'm trying to bring my body up to my personality's level.

Socially awkward quasi-autist

I'm extroverted but I really don't like a lot of people. I'm 22, and all it seems that people my age want to do is drink and talk about stupid shit. I don't get along with my cohorts because of this, I avoid them mostly. I have no problem communicating and being involved, I just can't bear to befriend them. It'd be like living a lie just for a person to talk to every now and then.

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>>40068515
>anti-chad?
>...yes, I've heard of him

>>40067799
>How is /fit/ socially?
Doing pretty poorly the last year

>Are most of you extroverts or introverts?
Introvert.

>What is your current social situation/environment?
FNM is my only real outlet. I may have landed a job in a new town today, which would mean big changes.

>How have you made social gains?
In the past forcing myself to get out there and talk to people, self help books (both for substance and to increase my confidence), and biting off more than I think I can chew (I can usually chew it).

>Do you like or not like most others people?
I dislike most people, especially other millennials.

>Do you actually care about social gains?
Yes, I want a wife and children.

>>40071613
>fratboy faggot
>thinks that paying for friends and for whores means he's good socially

Probably the biggest loser on this board

Haven't had friends since I was around 13

Not having friends meant I never met girls

Not getting girls or having friends meant I became isolated

Becoming isolated meant I became lonely, miserable, bitter through high school

Being miserable and isolated in high school meant I didn't learn how to interact socially with peers

Not learning how to interact with peers carried over into college so i basically had the same existence there

All the isolation, misery, loneliness, etc, meant I had nothing to work towards, so no motivation

No motivation meant I stayed a manlet and holocaust mode (still am, just here for shitposting) and didn't do great in college because studying is difficult when you have no motivation and nothing to strive for

Graduate college, move back home, work shit job because I don't see the point in trying grad school, terrible relationship with parents (they are assholes, I'm an asshole, so we all barely even talk to each other, only child)

Now a 25 year old kissless friendless shut-in (besides work) who has never even attempted to get a girl and now I'm scared to not only try to get a girl, but even friends, because everyone has always hated me so I don't want to burden others with my presence.

And sure I'm ugly as fuck (get rated 3-4/10 online, insulted for my face since I was a kid), but the friendlessness is what has killed all hope for me since I was 13.

>>40067799
Naturally extroverted, but most people piss me off or disgust me, so I usually act like an introvert unless I need to make friends, fuck pussy or make connections.

>>40067875
Not too bad, I'm almost 22 and got my second kiss this year, went from dating one girl last year to dating 6 this year.

Also started pulling for real in clubs. Though I have issues with finding places to fuck women since I live with family.

>>40067799

>Are most of you extroverts or introverts?
extrovert
>What is your current social situation/environment?
pretty extroverted, currently in a frat doing college stuff.
>How have you made social gains?
Learning to listen to people.
>Do you like or not like most others people?
I like most people but I don't really enjoy making small talk with random's.
>Do you actually care about social gains?
Yeah, they're important to a well balanced breakfast

>>40073470
why am i not surprised so many people on fit are in frats paying for friends

>>40073480
thanks I try <3

>>40067799
>Are most of you extroverts or introverts?
Introvert. Hate that part of myself so I force myself to be outgoing and social more than I would like.
>What is your current social situation/environment?
Pretty active.
>How have you made social gains?
Practice. It's a skill like any other. Bad with girls? Flirt and get rejected until you're good. Bad with networking and job interviews? Keep going until you're good.
>Do you like or not like most others people?
I like most people I meet.
>Do you actually care about social gains?
Quite a lot. Actually have more than I'm comfortable with right now, so the near-term goal is getting comfortable with more contact.

>>40068003

Are you being sarcastic or are you actually this retarded

This is 4chan, so people are mostly introverts.

I have a GF and cut all my friends out of my life because they were cunts. I leave home for work, uni, gym, and going out with my gf.

I am comfortable with people I know, I am comfortable making small talk with people I don't know. I am very uncomfortable making friends, as in turning small talk into something actually meaningful and getting to know someone.

>>40067799
>Are most of you extroverts or introverts?
introvert here
>What is your current social situation/environment?
im alone most of the time
>How have you made social gains?
i did in the past, after that i stoped caring
>Do you like or not like most others people?
i like ppl, but only for short amount of time
>Do you actually care about social gains?
nope

>>40068720
you should move to asia man , 5'6 is average there

>>40071273
Phd in?

I'm in my 30s so I basically have given up on making new friends.

>>40067799
>extrovert
>decent social circle, go clubbing about once a week
>go out more and force myself to be more low inhib
>like
>yes
>tfw still a virgin

>>40067799

I'm definitely an introvert. Love hanging out with my friends, but after like 3 or 4 hours I feel drained as hell.

I don't know how to answer this. I have friends, and hang out with them. That's about it.

I make friends with basically anyone that I'm around a lot. I don't really try. It just happens. Classes. The gym. The grocery store. It's weird because I'm not outgoing at all.

I like most people right off the bat. I don't really dislike someone unless I have an actual reason to.

Absolutely do not care about social gains, no.

>>40068048
Any recomendations?

>>40068266
join some sort of club
get better hygiene
that's how it worked for me

>>40075019
How old are you?
Honestly, if you're in your early 20s it is bad but not that bad, there are dudes that age that lie about it, it's not super uncommon.

>>40067799
got a solid amount of good friends, just started getting allot better as i got /fit/ and a job. much easier to socialize at school/work/wherever. Im still a little insecure in some situations, but after some alcohol it goes away. If you dont know me really well i might aswell be a normalfag

How do you make social gains?

I've got a group of people I hang out with, but don't get invited whenever they go do something (usually drink), although I'm hardly alone in that respect.

Sometimes I make a witty comment at exactly the right time. Other times I'm one of the weird guys in the group who occasionally says strange shit.

>>40075253
Sounds like it man, to acheive a higher tier, just make yourself uncomfortable
>putting yourself in social situations
>linear social progression
>oats

>>40067799
>Consciously trying to become extroverted
>Actually talk to people in my classes
>Can hold a conversation now
>Took me maybe a week

Literally all you have to do is try.

Poor elf. It isn't fair being a manlet.

>>40071547
Sounds like you're autistic

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>>40075076
Im not >>40067837 but start with the classics, find what authors/genres you like and branch out from there. Personally I'm partial to science fiction but that's me and again it's all about finding good authors and just soak in how they write.

I never had hobbies that I could meet people that aren't druggies or losers.

so all I do is lift read and watch cartoons anymore.

I'm also not an interesting person really so I don't have a lot of things to say.

>>40076357
>I'm also not an interesting person really so I don't have a lot of things to say.
I also don't like talking about nothing, so I don't into chitchat at the gym

>Introvert
>Hate people
>For the most part would rather stay inside and play video games than anything in the social world
>Even home gym master race for isolation
>No real desire to change
I want nothing more from others than to be idolized from a distance for my aesthetic appearance.

Guys disgust me.

I find it a lot easier to ask girls for casual sex, doesn't even seem weird, just natural now.

Wish my friends lifted and cared about self improvement more

>>40075076
Read Bukowski, that dude knew how to deal with women, hell he even wrote a book called "Women".

>>40071544
what is your social position within your group?

>>40072481
here is your reply

I'm an introvert but get lonely and am perfectly capable of holding non autistic conversations with anyone.

I still get some sort of weird need for social validation though. I don't really do anything about it, but I always think about it when I see people posting party pics on FB or walking around with a lot of friends or whatever.

I currently have a close group of good friends, keeps me happy. People who want to date me although I don't want to date right now.

I would like to make social gains, make more friends, but I don't really know how. Mentally I realize social validation isn't that important, but I still can't help but feel like I want it.

I don't like most people but I'm not an ass about it.

>>40076837
I'm sorry, but I gotta ask: What has it got in its pantses?

>>40067799
>be 15, autistic and chubby
>be bullied by manlet skelly with sick social gains
>spent HS miserably
>be 21, decide to be self-improve and commit to it (believe it or not, the spark to this was a courage wolf thread back in /b/)
>start lifting, reading more, cut vidya, etc.
>be 25, finished my masters, doing my dream job as a college prof, in line for promotion as assistant dean (probably gonna reject the offer), starting a company with friends, currently at 1/2/3/4 at 176lbs.
>feelsgoodman.jpg
>today, talked to a former classmate/gym buddy of mine
>tells me that my HS bully is still skelly, failed college, jobless, and knocked up a girl.
>friend tells me I can hook him with a job (any job really) and teach him how to lift
>we might see each other in the gym next week

Tell me what to do, /fit/! I know the mature thing is to put the past behind and at least reacquaint the guy, but every time I remember my HS days I'm too tempted rub my success all over his face and crush his pride.

did nothing put play video games all throughout highschool. when I finished school I could barely even look people in the eye when I would seldomly talk to people. I got a job, met a few friends, stopped playing video games, and got fit. I've been working out for 3+ years now so I actually have confidence, and I forced myself out of my comfort zone and became a waiter, which forced me to make tremendous social gains. I'm 23 now, and I literally went from autistic to a borderline chad.

feels pretty good desu.

>>40081458
I forgot to add that I still don't like being around people for the most part, and I'm still extremely introverted, but I at least have the ability now to walk up to anyone and start a conversation and have it feel natural with no awkwareness.

>>40081458
wonder how the proportion of gamers who get fit compares to the proportion of normal folks. might be that gamers develop some autistic dedication or get so far behind they think they need drastic measures to catch up

>>40081400

do what you won't regret

>>40071544
Make a move or be a beta

What would CHAD do?