cringe thread

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integrate your body

>>40036083
This lol

>>40035794
>how to get kicked out of a gym in 30 seconds or less
This guy is either out of his mind, or incredibly dedicated to trolling.

>>40036083
Thats a lot of marketing in there at once

>>40035794
How long do I need to train to become a retarded bald faggot?

What the fuck is this broscience shit? Buddy from high school got sucked into this 'functional patterns' shit and he's always posting on fb about training and working out. Tried to sell me 'personal training' once, top kek. Figured he must be huge. Dude posts a video and hes a fucking dyel stick figure. His calfs are the size of my not very big forearms.
Is this shit some kind of cult? How dumb can these dyel faggots be

>>40035794
what... I don't know what this is. Is this some kind of NASA astronaut training? Is he going to go zero g with those straps? I thought astronauts were supposed to be fit.

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>>40035801
Is that Jeremy Stephens?

>>40035794
this guy takes alot of boxing conditioning exercises and somehow makes them retarded. I wonder if he knows its bullshit and just sells to retards or if he actually believes it himself

>>40035794
rofl I work in front of that gym. People are doing their workouts without shirts

Dude's a turbomanlet. Of course he'll never learn.

>>40036946
who the fuck is that guy?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-MIweO9f23A
holy fuck

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>>40036908
It's way more on the cult side than standard internet broscience. They have """secret knowledge""" that deadlifts and squats are bad for you. Look at the word salad this faggot comes up with

>>40035794
I lost it right when he started walking around with the barbell in his hands like a kung fu soldier.

>>40036992
You know who I am.

>>40037007
If there's one thing I hate more than retarded people, it's retarded people who pretend to be crazy smart

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Deadlift and squat BTFO

>>40036992
That's the hardest hitting 145er alive

>>40035794
>>40035801
>>40035834
>>40037007
>>40037077

So this 5'4" manlet DYEL shitskin is telling me to stop squatting and deadlifting?

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>>40036838
For you? Couple weeks

>>40035794
Is this guy an uber manlet or is his head just gigantic?

>>40036946
RIGHT HERE

RIGHT HERE

THE HEAVIEST SQUATTING POWERLIFTER

WHEN RIPPETOE SQUATS WEIGHTS HE NEEDS CLIPS

WHEN I SQUATS THE PLATES DON'T FUCKING MOVE

>>40035801
Who DA FOOK IS THAY GUY?

>>40035801

Is that the pisslord?

>>40037077
>I can lift 70lbs so I know I'm getting stronger

Terminally laughable

Someone post the video of the guy covered in FUNCTIONAL STRENGTH bands in a T pose screaming his ass off

>>40037166
Uber manlet

>>40035794
this is a meme right

satire right

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>>40035794

This isn't even my final form.

>>40037604
I'm DYEL by fit standards and I could lift that kid for reps

>>40037604
dear god

>>40037604
If Arnold or Zyzz said this, it would be in every motivation thread to this day.

>>40037604
wow that guy must be a professional quote maker

>>40037668
he's a professional faggot

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>>40037604

FUNCTIONAL

>>40037614
Pretty sure Seppuku is permanent, you apefaced ftm thai.

It's also nice that he got someone to take the pictures for him.

>>40037748
Wtf is that place?

>>40037648
Arnold & Zyzz actually lifted

>>40037748
Did he die?

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>>40035794

This is not crossfit this is MANLETICISM

>>40037077
What is he referring to when he says fish swing? Kettlebells? Kipping pullups?

>>40035794
Thats the dumbest shit ive seen. The picture that is.

>>40037604
I can understand the addiction part - I've been out with a back injury for 3 days and I'm going mad.

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>>40035801
who the fuck is that guy?

>>40037748
Some type of shoop, surely

>>40037783
>Seppuku
>Thai

Pick one

>>40035801
> SYSTEMS ONLINE

>>40037748
> LOVE, TARS, LOVE

>>40037604
>-me
oh im laffin

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>>40037007
>he mad

>>40037077
haha, they're trying to be the new crossfit. I'msure they can leech some money of pretentious cunts that don't feel elite enough with crossfit.

>>40037748
i like how he kicked himself in the head at every level. Also wtf is this? Looks fun

>>40038369
kek, its like he's sinking into the abyss.

>>40037077

This guy sure likes his balls

>>40037077
Literally never heard of this before, how deluded are these people?

>>40037748
Was this the intended outcome?

>>40037007
literally "too intelligent to lift'

>>40038567
well said

>>40036917
no bro his dna has changed you don't understand.

>>40038610
Jesus christ. Honestly anyone dumb enough to fall for this deserves it

>>40038610
then how are crimes from over 40 years ago solved though DNA technology?

what a retard. Believing this is one thing, but to actively teach people this utter nonsense who want to learn about it brings it to a whole new level of cunt

>>40037614
>height is permanent

>>40038610
Yeah, literally a cult.

These threads are always cringier than the >pic relateds themselves.

The functional training stuff is bad but it seems obvious to me that the dude is mostly in it for the money, he talks himself up quite a bit... I think /fit/ has been reading too much broscience because the guy is spot on about people having terrible posture and terrible form while exercising.

It's tough to correct decades of shitty posture from sitting in front of a computer, and maybe you think form doesn't matter now but wait until you get to be 35 and your joints go to shit because you thought it was more important to get those reps than to pay attention to your form.

>>40038610
Well technically your environment and actions do have the possibility of changing your genetic expression. Your DNA itself wouldn't physically change but there's a likelihood that your expression would. His explanation is shit, but he's got the concept down... Sort of.

>>40038610
so i can alter my dna in just 10 years? what will i become? this shit sounds like pokemon egg hatching

>>40038890
No one here says that form doesnt matter.
But posture is not the cause of pain. Which is confirmed by research. Also why physios starting to look for something else than posture as the cause of pain.
And posture takes less than a month to fix if you know how. What they are preaching is that a minute change in posture have huge effects. And thats fucking ridiculous.

>>40038920
Yes, except it doesnt change compared to if they just did regulare lifting. Movementpatterns doesnt provide anything extra.

>>40038610
>be a mudslime
>rape a woman 9 summers old
>do a course of FP
>dna changes so no evidence against me is found
>t-thanks Naudi

>>40037748
>Yes, this is good trampoline
>Hey Andrej, make 3/4 front flip into new trampoline

>>40038958
>dna changes so no evidence against me is found
implying there would even be investigation. you'd get a pat on the back for that and the girl would be told to be less racist and that she should cover up.

>>40038940
>What they are preaching is that a minute change in posture have huge effects. And thats fucking ridiculous.
Yeah but that's not very cringey when it's an obvious sales tactic
>My class takes 36 hours to cover the basics
>I'm writing a book on this
Dude's probably making decent money and gets all the 40+ pussy he could ask for.

>>40038862

kek

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>>40035801
>>40035794

What the fuck are these niggers doing

>>40038993
The dude is a 5'4" balding manlet Ranjeet with obvious anger problems and asperger's.


I don't think pussy is even on the radar for him.

>>40037748
Haven't laughed that hard in a while

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>>40037173

>>40038862
Top kek to you sire

>>40039455
i cant tell whats shopped and what isnt anymore

>>40036946
yeah this Looks like fucking Jeremy, i dont know but i can not stand that guy, i always wish him to lose bad, gat the fuck knocked out from his skull...

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Never forget

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=viQnHOXyqEg

>>40037748
For those asking all those questions:
It's a play place, but it's meant to be climbed, not used like that. It's not shooped. I've read that the kid was totally fine after, and went again. Don't know how reliable that was, but I don't know why people would repeat it if it hadn't first come from a good source.

And yes, the funniest part is watching his limbs flail wildly

>>40036838
Depends on how long it takes you to shave your head.

>>40039455
I member when she used to be loli material.

>>40039783
Couldnt wait till she was 18 so itd be legal to fap. Now shes like a weird box

>>40035794

Wow, he even wrote the music, too. What a renaissance man

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>>40037989

>Whoo da FOOK is tha gahh?

>>40037614
This is your average motivational thread poster

>>40037077
They make 70 lb medicine balls wtf? The highest one I've ever seen is like 30 lb.

>>40039603
can't stand this cunt

>>40039738
>And yes, the funniest part is watching his limbs flail wildly
Thanks for telling me what the funniest part was

>>40039909
My gym has medicine balls up to 225 lbs. I use them as a poor mans atlas stone.

>>40035801
Who teh FOOK is that guy?!

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>>40035801
>That random fucking tape

KEK

>>40039801
>Couldnt wait till she was 18 so itd be legal to fap.
What kind of third world country do you live in?

>>40037614
why did he hit himself with the dumbbell?

>>40035794
>>40035834
Neither of these were post worthy

>>40036083
Crossfit bunny starter pack

>>40040166
for your health???????? nah

for your rangus

>>40035801
How does one integrate their body if we do not know our limits.

>>40039603
>employee kicks him out for making a hole in the wall from carrying a barbell overhead walking around the gym
>employee gets fired

>>40040483
So scary to watch.
Glad nothing went wrong.

>>40040512
I like the idea that the owner thinks that David is mentally challange and he fires his employees for being insensitive.

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>>40035794
>Hey these are some pretty good core building exercises
>He has a pretty solid core for a natty on a meme program
>1:17
Lol just lol.

>>40040483
>BBRBRRRERRRAAAAAAAPPP

>>40035794
My sides when this fucking manlet said deadlifts are for beta males

>>40039738
Thanks.

So maybe they did it to demonstrate the safety of this for children.

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>>40035794
Look at this fucking midget rage and instantly jump to the MUH TRUMP MUH RASISM when a busy server forgot his aoli sauce and he never said anything else about. What a sad little beta fuck.

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>>40037077
>3D movements
>Not practicing your 4 dimensional strenght
>Not aligning your chackras for multi dimensional gains

>>40037604

>That prototypical SS body on the left

Alright, which one of you is it?

>>40035794
hes so full of himself
even did the music for the video.. jesus christ :D

>>40040571
Haha soo funnnyy xdddddddd!!112

>>40040326
it took me a really long time to realize this was a math joke

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>>40037748
>Hidden Path Ahead, therefore, Try Rolling.

>>40041014
I didn't realise it was a maths joke since you don't need to know limits to calculate the indefinite integral.

>>40039603
lol this guy is a fuking tool and defenitely doesnt pull 560..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CAQw7PtpAQM

>>40037278
We all started somewhere bruh

>>40037604
>-Me.
Jesus fucking christ

>>40040483
Somebody post the leg press webm

>>40041158
omg i think this is literally the best way to break yo spine

>>40038862
lost

Hello naudi, Let me cap this for future SIR material.

>>40040562
>Functional Manlet
>Functional Male Pattern Baldness

>>40040988
He has a huge ego and constantly makes it a point of pride how people think his methods are bullshit and that he doesn't want the "small minded"

>>40035801
Why don't you integrate your body with my dick?

>>40038093
Kek. Fucking loved that movie.

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>>40040950
Holy shit, was this in the New Years comic? If not we've gotta remember this for 2017!

>>40041080
Underrated

>>40040696
>mad mexican't manlet
Oh no wonder he's so mad at everything. Dude's the runt of his litter AND jealous of white people
>I'm seattle washington
Nice slip bruh

>>40041511

Naudi Aguilar seems like a lolcow in wait. I've got a feeling that we'll be seeing him again.

>>40039985
Wish I went to your gym.

>>40040696

On a side note - is there anything the god emperor can't do? He's not even president and he's triggering these faggots

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Not enough cringe in this cringe thread

>>40040696
>server probably very busy and trying to juggle many tables at once
>server probably voted Hillary seeing as the restaurant is in Seattle
>server probably got a shit tip
>all because muh racism

No wonder people hate Mexicans, dude. What an entitled little shit.

>>40039495

Same

>>40041605
The dude is completely delusional and extremely bitter because he has been ridiculed for his ridiculous ideas and height


He is a militant/aggressive fool/idiot


These are the same characteristics as Chris Chan and Jason Blaha.

It is the type of behavior that is very easy to exploit and control. It will definitely get him into trouble if the right people find out about him and start harassing him in the correct ways because you could certainly elicit a predictable reaction from this guy

>>40036083
> promoting apples
Enjoy your no gains

>>40041688
He probably mumbled the request with a beta manlet voice and the server didn't hear him

>>40041723
>if the right people find out about him
>start harassing him in the correct ways

So how do we make a meximanlet lose his shit? Trumps an in, would be something involving squats and deadlifts

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>>40039603

>kid in the gym within first 20 seconds

You did it. I'm angry.

>>40039603
Where is he now? I tried to find more info on him but was unsuccessful.

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>>40039603

That was a lot more rage inducing vs cringe worthy.

>>40039603
Yeah.. him.. what a little cunt.

>560

My fucking ass.

>>40038890
This place is full of form nazis brah

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jBdrIE41sB8

saw a commercial for this the other day

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>>40040696
Which one of you niggers did this lmao

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>>40042105
>dysfunctional behavoir patterns

>>40041196
Why? He just rotates a little, what the fuck is supposed to happen

>>40042105
Holy fuck, rage comments incoming kek

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Why are all my 'friends' on facebook a fucking goldmine. This guy keeps wanting to trade cigarettes for a bj with me. No ty senpai.

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>>40042105

>>40037748
A McDonalds nearby has one of these. i don't know if it's still up but it was fun to jump through it into the ball pit.

>>40038610
That's not completely wrong though.
If you live as a bodybuilder you fold your dna just so your son would have predisposition to a bodybuidling lifestyle. Protein absorption and all that shit would be enhanced on your future generations though not for yourself.
Say it took 10 years for you to achieve X body, your son would get the same in 2 years

>>40042643
This is the most moronic thing Ive read on here in a while. Stop shilling your scam here you bald little manlet

>>40040950
>I see a time 2018, she is mirrin' my gainz
>*the weight is in my hands*
>She asks if I'm done bulking and I say to her, yes. I know this is a lie.
>*the weight is lowering to the floor*

>>40039603
>Start of the video, see some genuinely muscular guys
>think huh, this guy may be a crossfitter, but he looks pretty fit
>Pans over to some дpищ with his kid
kek. crossfit, not even once

>>40041664
Unless women all regularly get fucked up the ass now and I missed the memo, it ain't remotely the same

>>40039603
Is that his wife's daughter?

>>40039985
>roll the 225 out into the middle of the gym when no one is looking
>watch as the receptionist can't generate enough force to move it

>>40042348
>I'M A WARRIOR, A FIGHTER; LOOK AT MY YIELD
>Did stomach crunches and bench

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>>40038862

>>40038610
>Unbennat.png
Grüße! Deutscher

>>40042105
Brian Anderson SENPAI it says right there

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>>40042105

>>40035794

Paul "i fuck wolves" Waggener

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ThmQCGxmMUw

>>40039455
Wow, Chole Moretz looks like THAT?

>>40037007

Does he realize that your spine is supposed to look more like an S than an I?

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Try and watch this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qiBCoBo1L2w

or this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nTtG5gi_tWk

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>>40043363
Moin!

>>40038014
He meant Sudoku. :^)

>>40043436
Taking life advice from a guy that looks like that is ridiculous, but most of what he said was really true.

>>40043436
330 likes, 4 dislikes.

>>40041001
>9gag

>>40043138
you missed the memo.

>>40040696
>It's Current Year?

Check

>Blaming Trump?

Check

>Asking for hipster shit to add to their food?

Check

>Types spanish when complaining about an american restaurant

Check

8/10 at least he's not a vegan

>>40043436
dat chickenbone vest

Skeleton lurker here, can someone tell me why this is cringe / rage?

>>40041850
oh my god that gif has me rolling

>>40038610
He technically is 100% correct in the statements he made, but the way he's implying it is horrendous. When your cells split, you lose a tiny amount of DNA each time. Technically, in ten years, your DNA would be different. This is how we think (or know, I'm not sure) people die of old age.

As for the implications, if we can stop this from happening, it may be possible to extend human life.

Also relates to cancer a bit, in the cancer ells do not exhibit this behavior. Interestingly enough, his entire 'workout' regime is cancer as well.

>>40037007
>Keep your stupid comments in your pocket

>>40043463
The first one is wayyyy more cringy. The second one is kinda cringy but looks like it is a cover for male escorts advertising.

In both cases its 11/10 on the autism scale, this is why people that work out get a bad rep.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ydRcOFBBGIQ

>>40043927
>pool party

Why are those even a thing? It's like a regular party, only 100% more awkward.

>>40037748
This looks like some gmod glitch

>>40043861
He's trying to make some implications about exercise induced epigenetics, but they assume they will be altered small changes in training style. Won't happen!

>>40039455
She looks kinda cute there.

>>40038610

So level 2 involves gamma rays?

>>40042077
What in the name of the lord is this

Is this satire? This is one of the most retarded things I have seen in my life

>>40037614
That mirror looks disgusting

>>40042348
Is that a... common proposition in Sweden?

t. Worried neighbor who has heard some stories

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>>40035834
I got a perfect 800 on the critical reading section of the SAT and I had to read that textual diarrhea of buzzwords 3 times before I understood what he was saying.

>>40044127
>mind muss-cle activation

Probably fake

>>40035794

lol at /fit criticizing something it doesnt understand

doing SS wont make you enough of an athlete to earn money from your sport. learn, dont belittle...

>>40044169
>guy starts eating shit
>everyone tells him he is retarded
"learn, don't belittle"

fuck off, not everyone is so illiterate that they are bamboozled by a random manlet spic throwing around buzzwords.

>>40043973
You must not have watched MTV's beach house in the 90s.

>>40042643
Yeah okay with your DBZ logic you fucking retard.

>>40044169
Found the fag getting ripped off by the mexishit manlet.

>>40044201
>fuck off, not everyone is so illiterate that they are bamboozled by a random manlet spic throwing around buzzwords.

cool. how much are YOU getting paid to play your sport.

lol, thought so. STFU and go do your "3 sets of 5"...

>>40044230
Naudi Aguilar is this really you?!

>>40040952
it's not fat enough to be ss

>>40043463
That lisp at 20 seconds mark

>"How to get Abth in thirty thecondth"

It really can't get more cliché than that

>>40044260
I think it is! Kek!

He types just like him!

Barely literate and just barely knows enough platitudes and buzzwords to sound intelligent to an idiot

>>40044230
It's not about making money. It's about having an effective program for maintaining strength, mobility, and flexibility.

I'll grant you that most athletes only focus on strength or mistake flexibility for mobility.

I'll also grant that 3*5 or 5*5 is only useful for training to intermediate level.

However, your program is a bunch of random bullshit that can be substituted with common send and research on corrective exercise.

You're selling snake oil to people dumb enough to believe your bullshit, which I commend. They do not deserve to do well.

>>40044230
>cool. how much are YOU getting paid to play your sport.

>"Your argument is invalid since you're not a pro-athlete" argument.
>If an pro athlete says that drinking blended frogs will make net you 10'' on your vertical he must be saying the truth. What do those eggheads know.

>>40044230
Fuck Nadia you autistic manlet.

>>40044397
>However, your program is a bunch of random bullshit...

it's not my program, but I know enough about how athletes that actually have to perform on game day train, and it's not with SS, greyskull or any other variation of 3x5

here's how a typical elite-level boxer trains. notice anything?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cva-BBcVZL0

>>40044485
>notice anything?
Yeah he's getting meme'd hard by a trainer. Making progress despite your training is not the same as making progress because of it. Do you really think Tyson or Ali was doing T-Bar rubber band punches lmao.

>>40044506
>Yeah he's getting meme'd hard by a trainer.

lol, you pencil necks are priceless:

>if only he did SS think what he coudl acheive

hahaha!

>>40044506
>Yeah he's getting meme'd hard by a trainer.
amazing how top-level athletes all seem to have the worst trainer - according to the experts on /fit, at least...

>>40044534
Post time stamped body picture so we can use it in an infographic show what training eccentric gimicky movements you saw an athlete on youtube doing will get you

>>40044485
>One arm land mine press with elastic bands
Legit exercise with legitimate auxiliary for added resistance and peak of motion. Huge carry-over for boxing and the naturally useful motion of heavy vertical pressing

>Agility drills with resistance
Legitimate as well. Very useful for him

>Body-torsion exercises
Hugely useful and under-applied or completely ignore by your average bloke

>A few other variations of body torsion exercises that try too hard to reinvent the wheel and have a significant risk for injury
Yeah, this is where smarter people draw the line
Some, if not a lot, of those exercises were good.

Others were bullshit.
That said, a person can succeed despite bad or inefficient training. You see it often in HS football strength training programs.

>>40044572
>Post time stamped body picture

lol, you've officially run out of arguments. you gave it a good shot though.

now go crack that magical 1/2/3/4 goal you've been working towards for the past decade...

>>40044617
>b-b-b-busted
Your argument is that you have unlocked some key to fitness that nobody else has. Post timestamped body pic and show us what's behind the door lmao. Don't be a fucboi. If you're jacked you've got nothing to worry about.

>>40044617
>The dude couldn't even get 1/2/3/4 in his first year
>Thinks it's a huge milestone to even achieve
>He's bitter because of his bad genetics and dysfunctional manletism

>>40044605

this is what i'm getting at. athletes us weight training as a tool to get better at their sport.

for many professionals, squats and deads arent needed - tyson never squatted for example. but rip nut-huggers just cant get this point: they're ideologically wedded to "3 sets of 5 reps for 5 basic exercises". that wont work in the real world, sorry.

>>40044681
It fucking is you, isn't it faggot. You won't post a body pic because we'll see your shitty tat.

>>40039455
"oh look, he wants me photo, probably from a candid shoot in a newspaper"

"huehuehueuhue wait til the bois on the chan see dis legbeast"

>>40044699
>It fucking is you, isn't it faggot. You won't post a body pic because we'll see your shitty tat.

lol, this isnt grindr. stop trying to blackmail me into showing you my body you desperate faggit

Some mad Functional Fitness poster forgot to integrate their body today

>>40044485
>Boxers and other athletes don't train like power-lifters and bodybuilders.
No shit, Sherlock. Nobody even suggested otherwise. The point is that any kind of training still has to follow some basic rules dictated by human anatomy. Naudi is a fucking retard with delusions of grandeur who thinks he can reinvent the wheel by spouting enough buzzwords he doesn't even seem to understand. His programmes are over-complicated and gimmicky for the sake of seeming like some next level shit.

>>40044681
>they're ideologically wedded to "3 sets of 5 reps for 5 basic exercises".
Are you the kind of retard that thinks everyone does SS all day? It's a fucking beginner programme that works great for what it's supposed to do. No one more than 6 months into lifting does that.

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>>40044230
Naudi need some advice, my anterior vedic flexors need retensioning. Will doing hop scotch help bioenergize me?

>>40044681
I'm the guy you replied to about those exercises are good here >>40044605
I agree that many don't have practical carryover.


The majority of beginner programs are used to give structure.


Personally, my program involves one arm chin ups, overhead press, plyometric/weighted jumps, floor gymnastics, sword/boxing drills, and shaolin foot drills.
The thing is that an average guy doesn't need this degree of specialization. He just needs mobility and a few big compounds. After that he's fine.

And also, I'm legitimately interested in the posture correction work of FP, but you have to stop walking around with a chip on your shoulder and acting like weight lifting is bullshit (I don't squat and find trap bar deadlifts to be superior to standard DL). Give it credit where it deserves, and then use this to bridge the gap between what your training can accomplish and what traditional barbell doesn't.

Also, you're using too many big words. It makes you seem like a pseudo-intellectual or that at the least you have asperger's.

Your business is growing, but if you want some serious dosh, you're going to have to really be at peace with yourself.

>>40044774
>Are you the kind of retard that thinks everyone does SS all day? It's a fucking beginner programme that works great for what it's supposed to do. No one more than 6 months into lifting does that.

i'm glad you think so. but try telling that to /fit
this place is full of perma-newbs and i'm doing my but to rehabilite them

>>40044774
>No one more than 6 month into lifting does that (starting strength)

I agree that it should be replaced once you reach intermediate on lifts or already know a bit about programming.

I swear to god, a few years ago on /r/fitness there were retards that had been doing SS for two fucking years and were complaining about plateaus

>>40044809
>Personally, my program involves one arm chin ups, overhead press, plyometric/weighted jumps, floor gymnastics, sword/boxing drills, and shaolin foot drills.

one-arm chinups are worthless though. you must be a lightweight manlet to even consider these a good choice

weighted jumps are OK if you know what you're doing, but anyone that does shaolin foot drills doesnt know what they're doing so i worry for you.

good luck in the rest of your endevours.

-Nauid

>>40037813
Hell.

>>40044716
Yeah you and your argument can fuck right off. Results speak, your lack of speaks volumes.

>>40038610
Its literally a cult holy shit

>>40042444
Yeah, i havent met a single man that hasnt done some gay ass shit. Its not even gay for pay anymore.

Just get drunk with some sweeds and joke to them about something gay and you will 100% end up fucking them.

the best exercise is always taking cocks.

-Nauid

>>40038890
Functional Patterns pls go

>>40044883
Was doing OAC's for reps at a peak weight of 175 tbqh.

Vertical pulling motions are natural

>>40044920
Wops wrong comment

>>40044138
For you bb >>40042348

>>40044834
>but try telling that to /fit
Pretty much everyone on /fit/ isn't retarded enough to do SS past the noob phase. It's just that most of the questions asked are by noobs, so most answers that /fit/ gives are intended for beginners.

>>40044948
>Was doing OAC's for reps at a peak weight of 175 tbqh.

175? ah, my apologies, i didn't realize you were a woman.

-Nauid

>>40041194
pls dont

>>40041651
This actually kind of pisses me off. It pisses me off that someone could have such ridiculously low standards as to think this is something worth bragging over. I know I'm preaching to the bishops here, but it's just frustrating that they posted this shit and received 45 clicks of approval. Perhaps the comments are somewwhat ridiculing him, but one can only hope.

>>40042077
>The mind muscle activation
I hate none-saying nonesense.

>>40042077
MIND MUSCLE CONNECTION BRAH

>>40044716
Holy shit guys its actually him
Point and laugh

>>40037077
what the fuck are fish swings

>>40044883
Shaolin foot drills are great for mobility and explosiveness

>>40044976
You're not Naudi. I'm being rused. The guy probably never broke 160.

>>40035794
Drinking game: take a shot every time they mention the word "biomechanical"

>>40045110

i get more interest in my work cavorting with the enemy here than i do dropping 5 grand's worth of ad placement with FB or YT

it pays to spend time with the unwashed and ignorant lol.

-Nauid

>>40043861
no he's not correct. you lose telomere length over time, which is like a buffer to protect your DNA. so even if after 10 years your telomeres on the end of you DNA have shortened, you still express the same genes. try again naudi

>>40042643
If you don't actually believe this just look at Arnold's sons

>>40045145
What are you trying to accomplish with your bullshit?
Explain without pseudo intellectual buzzwords

>>40045178
>What are you trying to accomplish with your bullshit?
>Explain without pseudo intellectual buzzwords

i train real athletes, not people who want to be "good at exercizing".

asking me to change my vocabualrly is like rewriting Shakespeare in ebonics - it is an abomination, and i simply will not do it!

-Nauid

>>40043861
DNA doesn't change, telomeres do.

>>40045217
Name a single noteworthy athlete you've trained.

>>40045226
>DNA doesn't change

er, so losing a base pair to ionzing radiation or transcription error means the DNA hasn't changed?

LOL, and I'm meant to be the charlatan.

ps Epigenetic Lamarckism is real. please try and keep up!

-Nauid

>>40045217
nice larping

>>40045217
>asking me to change my vocabualrly is like rewriting Shakespeare in ebonics
I think it was Mark Twain who said something to the effect that if someone is afraid to use straightforward language to explain themselves, then it's because they know how ridiculous they sound when not hiding behind floral language.

>>40045217
Define athlete spic Shakespeare.

>>40045243
>Name a single noteworthy athlete you've trained.

ever heard of a thing called "client confidentiality"? no, you wouldn't, because youre not a professioanl liek me.

-Nauid

>>40045272
Ok. Now I know that this is a joke. PROFESSIONALS know how to spell.

>>40045272
His training is so embarrassing and bad that his clients don't want anyone knowing they were desperate enough to come to him!!

>>40045268
>Define athlete

people who are paid to play their sport.

more specifically, people who compete on a given day and are in it to win it.

in other words, everything that /fit isnt

-Nauid

>>40042643
I don't understand epigenetics the post

>>40045292
So powerlifters and weight lifters and even bodybuilders are athletes. Thanks Narud.

>>40045292
Nauid Fight me IRL you spic manlet

>>40038610
how often you fly in an airplane is going to have 10000x more impact on your DNA structure than changing your workout routine

>>40045306
>powerlifters and weight lifters and even bodybuilders are athletes.

they aren't paid enough to afford me. i train sprotsmen that people want to see compete, not some 14 hour event where a fat powerlifter gets to lift 9 times at most.

also, if you dont at least have to take 1 (one) step in your sport i dont class you as an athlete. sorry

-Nauid

>>40040696
I've eaten there and it's pretty decent. Got a nice happy hour and I like the wooden vibe inside, it's like an old english pub

>>40035794
Actually looks like a pretty good program if your goal is balance and equilibrium training, though you can probably find more effective and efficient ways to do it if that's all you care about.

>>40045352
What are your accolades? Which sports have you played? How many competitions have you won? What have you accomplished that makes you trustworthy and reputable even in the slightest?

>>40045389

i deliver results. enough said.

-Nauid

>>40038920
Well... If we want to get really picky we could talk about telomere shortening

>>40045406
>I deliver results
>but I just can't tell you what results or show them to you
Stop larping your fat faggot

>>40045406
>I deliver results.
>But it they are all classified.
You're the new blaha aren't you?

>>40040483
What the fuck

>>40040950
Do both

>>40045434
>Stop larping your fat faggot

I'm Streamlining The Human Potential and I'm supposed to waste my time justifying myslef to someone who propably can't even explain why the quantized nature of bio-energy potential lends itself to granular re-tensioning of the posterior chain.

get off my thread, douchebag.

-Nauid

>>40042077
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cv10c2fYfxI

>>40043861

doctor here. losing telomere length is not losing functional dna

>>40045505
Oh christ, not Naudi.

I was witness to the absolute clusterfuck of his arrival on the Sherdog training forums back when he was starting out in his career as a charlatan. Frankly I'm not surprised that he's persisted - his is a particularly ludicrous scam that was always bound to catch the eye of desperate morons looking for something contrary to any kind of scientific, measurable training.

Many a time he has been pressed online to explain the methodologies of his so-called training, and they have never materialised beyond vague assurances that he has spent years studying the quasi-mystical texts of secret Eastern Bloc kinesiologists, with their circular energy pathways and dynamic anatomy trains, which none but he understands, so why should he bother explaining?

And as is the way of all snake oil salesmen who last the first 6 months, he's shrewdly learned to leaven his more outrageous bullshit with occasional traces of truth - all basic facts attained through any physiotherapy study - and uses that credence to sell the gimmicky lunacy of kettlebell handstand ballet and one-footed cable bosu skateboarding that bring in the chumps.

tl;dr: Avoid.

>>40043927
I don't see any reason why he would be a douchebag. He doesn't seem to be bothering anybody and seems more than content to let people engage with him. Do people just see a big dude by himself and immediatley assume he's an asshole? Kind of a clickbait video title for a video with no real substance to it.

>>40045406
Fight me IRL spiclet

Why would naudi spell his name wrong in every post? You guys are dumb. Realy dumb

>>40045682
>Realy dumb
>Realy

>>40045615
We should refer to pseudo-scientific babble as Naudi posting from now on instead of broscience.

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>>40039455

>>40045615
>Sherdog training
Loool just did a quick search of their forums and found bunch of people just roasting him in threads over the last few years.

>>40039455
I'd actually fuck this

>>40045615

The entire fitness industry is one massive scam.

I just do what Rippletoe does but go after a different audience.

Nut-huggers and the ignorant are always gonna find some kind of personality they can latch on to. This is how we do what we do.

Liek they say, dont blame the player, blame the game...

-Nauid

>>40042643
Lamarck pls go

>>40035794
Started out promising then it went full crossfit

>>40038890
What do you expect from /fit/ demographic of 16-25 year olds?

If this board was filled with 30-50 year olds, the replies may be different.

>>40044534
>if only he did SS think what he coudl acheive
who are you quoting? are you okay naudi?
i know you want to evolve beyond normal human anatomy, but hearing voices is still not a good sign

>>40046117
>>40038890
>/fit/ dosen't care about form or posture
You're putting words in peoples mouths, /fit/ is extremely snobbish (rightfully) about those two things.

>>40042348
I wonder how much he lifts

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Damn i really hope naudi becomes a fit staple, best lolcow i have seen since supermang

>>40045615
wait, why is this a pasta? its word for word a copy of a 2 year old reddit post i just found googling naudi:
https://www.reddit.com/r/Fitness/comments/22t5j9/what_does_fittit_think_about_functional_patterns/

what the hell is going on in this thread? was all this a (n)autistic attempt at promoting a stupid workout program?

>>40045724
seconded, will be adding Naudiposting to my daily vocabulary

>>40037813
A tesseract built by future humans. Haven't you watched interstellar?

>>40037748
Come on TARS!

>>40037748
fucking dying

>>40041158
My spine hurts from watching this

>>40046296
This whole thread is a fucking functionally retarded pattern.

>>40046296
the rabbit hole gets ever deeper
would be a shame if someone...
lost their whey

>>40043749
Ooga booga voodoo magic

>>40040202
kek

>>40043505
>using a word that sounds like "Nein" for greetings
Only in Germany...

>>40037058
Is there a word for that?
Actually a retarded English guy here.

>>40045161
>Arnold's sons
A sad testimony to ‘Homo sapiens’ in general.

>>40046915
>Using a word that sounds like "night" for an armored noble.
Only in England...

It's a traditional greeting from the north, people think it's an accented/slurred version of "morgen"- (good) morning. But it actually means good (day)/hello. Some faggots will give you shit for saying it twice in a row but I grew up in Hamburg and heard that all my life.

>>40037604
>what have u achieved with ur body?
What have you achieved with yours?

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>>40042077

TMJ: the device

>>40047006
Not that anon. But, as a massive wanker, I have emitted a lot of semen in my lifetime. Puddles upon puddles of cum. That's almost as good as landing on the Moon.

>>40046996
Heh.

>>40038862
Fuckin ded, thanks anon

>>40041080
Sides have disappeared into orbit

>>40040296
kek

>>40044127
no it's real... and maybe im not surprised because of all the threads i see about jaw gains

>>40042105
his name is Brian Anderson

>>40048287
His name was Brian Anderson, he stood up to the naudiposting

>>40044534
No one here suggested SS for the athlete in question. Where are you getting that from?

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>>40044617
Lol
>thinking 1/2/3/4 is such a huge accomplishment.

So... Did you manage it? Didn't think so

Shit at lifting so you tried something that isn't possible to be good or bad at thus eliminating any judgement from penetrating your fragile ego.

Stay forever small fucboi

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>>40044716
Hahahahahahahaha holy shit it is you. Wow you're a fucking degenerative shit stain.

>claims to be fitness jesus
>won't post pic
Your a walking disaster