Sex tips

I swear to god anal play is such a hit or miss 50% act, most girls would moan for it, others would literally lose their mood.

>be 15
>had an older goth chick (bout 21-22) who was into anal play
>still a virgin
>go to her house
>makeout and fonddle
>she guides me what to do
>she pulls out anal bead
>didnt know what that was
>was instructed to just keep putting it in
>was told to put lube on it
>didnt realize this means to put lube on the whole thing
>mfw I only put lube on the first bead
>she moans while I insert like 8-9 beads in
>im still confused as to what this is supposed to do
>she says "now pull it out"
>being the kid me, I didnt know she meant slowly and sexually
>mfw I pull it out like a lawn mower
>bitch got on all fours on the floor shaking
>feces and blood everywhere
>she starts freaking and told me to get the fuck out of her house
>i run on the neighborhood wearing boxers
>i cried at home

>>40004215
hahahahahaha holy fuck

File: 42698ba1-e995-46cb-aa06-54f5e3deb283.png (155KB, 400x323px) Image search: [Google]

155KB, 400x323px

>>4000421
>pull it out like a lawn mower

>>40004215
lmao

>>40004215
fucking died

>>40004215

top hole, old bean

File: eggscellent.png (352KB, 551x551px) Image search: [Google]

352KB, 551x551px

>>40004215
TOP LEL

File: 1467939941177.jpg (142KB, 1102x1199px) Image search: [Google]

142KB, 1102x1199px

>>40004169
>sticking your tongue where literally dozens of dicks and gallons of cum has been

never read anything more beta in my life

File: 1475310010546.jpg (1019KB, 1526x2616px) Image search: [Google]

1019KB, 1526x2616px

rolling

>>40004482
roll

File: C1vEirTVIAEFTyq.jpg large.jpg (98KB, 1000x1000px) Image search: [Google]

98KB, 1000x1000px

>>40004482
le roll

>>40004598
what the fuck

>>40004598
Snakepenis, nice

>>40004482
Rolling

>>40004482

damn

>>40004215
Kek

>>40004482
Rill

>>40004482
I want Jew

File: 30796547.jpg (8KB, 265x265px) Image search: [Google]

8KB, 265x265px

>>40004215
this has to be fake...i'm literately laughing my ass of

>>40004215
I spit rice and chicken across the table. Well done.

>>40004215

KEK
E
K

>>40004169
Absolutely fucking disgusting, "eating out" a woman is literally more gay than fucking other men in the ass

>>40004482
lol rolland

>>40004215
Sick fuck sexual deviant deserved it.

That how you give her an infection you retard. Either tongue one, and finger the other. Do not go back and forth.

>>40004482
Roll

File: 1478670790314.jpg (152KB, 900x1200px) Image search: [Google]

152KB, 900x1200px

>Get inside girl
>Feels good
>Annoyed that her upper half is there
>She makes annoying noises
>Don't want her around after I finish
>Worry that her vagina got any of my semen
>Never talk to her again after she tells me that she got her period

>>40004482
Might as well

File: 0.jpg (48KB, 1181x886px) Image search: [Google]

48KB, 1181x886px

>>40005329
>2017
>not owning sex toys

Don't go from asshole to vagina, you can spread bacteria and cause infection. Same reason women wipe front to back, the bacteria that grows near and in the anus will cause massive infection if it gets in the vagina.

Either do pussy licking or ass licking, don't risk doing both at the same time.

Ok this is worth a try
I have a good body (gonna cut soon to improve for summer), a good face and i want to get laid before uni ends
Ive had prior relationships but i have no idea where to find girls who want to fuck and arent taken already

So how does one begin?

>>40005329
period sex is best sex, dummy. especially oral.

can't be a real man till you get your red wings, bro

>>40005492
>period sex is best sex

it is before and while you are doing it, not so much post coitus, the smell, man, i cant take it

>>40004169
>>I keep doing back and forth from the ass to the clit
usually I eat the pussy until shes satisfied with that and then move on to the ass. Going back and forth you risk a UTI a little bit. Generally you dont wanna go Ass->pussy with most things


id say at least 50% of girls if not more enjoy a little anal play. Eating ass is simple i think, especially if youve got anal beans or toys around or she's cool with you putting a finger in there. Like you said, circling your tounge, up and down (all throughout the crack, between the ass cheeks, very sensitive area), etc etc usually feel pretty good for the girl

As long as she's cleaning up back there it shouldnt taste bad. If it tastes bad you just stop, dont force yourself to eat a girls literal shit unless youre a total beta

>40004482
rolly

>>40005474

it doesnt

>>40004482
dob geg

>>40005474
tinder obviously

>>40004215
pasta

>>40005452
>put your mouth in her was, it's fine as long as she's not a slob anon
>dont lick her puss after though, the bacteria makes it dangerous
what did he mean by this

>>40004482
im rolling brehs

>>40004215
The old ripcord maneuver

>>40004482
k

>>40004215

Well that went bananas.

>>40004169
shit is stored in your intestines, not anywhere near your asshole. unless your gf has terrible diet (low fibre) and-or doesn't know what the shower is, there should be not a spec of poo poo near her anus.

>>40004482
Rollin!

>>40004215
I'm normally Really well composed and was reading this during a presentation
>I audibly laughed

>>40004482
rollan

>>40004482
Raylin

File: woahnelly.jpg (48KB, 600x600px) Image search: [Google]

48KB, 600x600px

>>40004215

>>40004482
roll

>>40004482
Wiz

>>40004482
fuck it

>>40004215
I just spat tortilla soup all over my computer you cunt

>>40004482
rollilng

>>40004482
Rollllllll

>>40004482
Fuck you

>>40004482
yes sir

File: 1483380153743.jpg (79KB, 659x639px) Image search: [Google]

79KB, 659x639px

>>40004482
rollahn

>>40004482
Rollun

>>40004482
Rollando

>>40004169
don't go ass to vag... gets infected

File: 1484320070080.jpg (167KB, 938x632px) Image search: [Google]

167KB, 938x632px

>>40004215
>lole

>>40004482
47

>>40004215
i stopped scrolling after this. no higher kek can be achieved.

>>40004482
Roll

>>40004482
r0ll3n

>>40004482
Can I get a get

>>40004482
Roll

>>40004482
roll

>>40004482
iol;k;lk

>>40004482
meme

>>40004215
if she dies she dies

>>40004482
36 pls

Help me lads, I got a match on Tinder. What do I do? I felt it would be best to ask here instead of in QTDDTOT

You should also know im a dateless virgin.

>>40004215
Kek

>>40004482
ROLLIN FOR 69 IN A PINBALL THREAD

>>40005474

Talk to girls, and dont be shy.

If you start up a conversation with a girl, ask for her number or snap as soon as she is chatting, and not fobbing you off.

This lets her know your intentions. She gives it to you, shes keen. Its yours to fuck up.

Girls want sex just as much as guys. But it takes a lot more effort for them to get something rewarding from it (good orgasm) so they unconsciously pick guys for random sex that tick the boxes for being a good lay.

Your clear you just want to fuck, ( without being too blunt) and thats a big box ticked.

You do this with every girl you come across and your bound to get something eventually.

Also throw your standards out the window. A girl that looks plain and frumpy can turn into a goddess when naked in bed, and great to chat to afterwards.

A girl with a bit of weight can end up being the best and most enthusiastic fuck ever.

You would be suprised how much your perception of how desirable a girl is changes once you start having good sex with them.

They will also be a lot less effort and less competition.

>>40004482
H

>>40004482
WIZARDOM AWAITS

File: 1484134686920-fit.jpg (18KB, 385x382px) Image search: [Google]

18KB, 385x382px

>>40004215
Add me to the screen cap

>>40004482
Roll

>>40004482
rolling

>>40004482
gay homosex

>>40004482
Rollin

>>40004482
roll

>>40004482
yolo

>>40004478
Top cuck

>>40008910
This is actually a good advice. /fit/ is not your board brah

File: 1382242155586.png (148KB, 330x256px) Image search: [Google]

148KB, 330x256px

>>40004215
Oh lawd.

Screencap me.

File: 1479513907051.jpg (9KB, 189x292px) Image search: [Google]

9KB, 189x292px

>>40004215
>like a lawn mower

>>40004482
r o l l

>>40008910
True. The thin pretty girls were boring lays

>>40004482
Rollaroonies

>>40004482
fucking rolling son

>>40005301
this

File: XdScHUA.png (979KB, 883x654px) Image search: [Google]

979KB, 883x654px

>>40004215

>>40004482
rooling

>>40004482
roll

>>40004482
FUcking sick roll

>>40004215
>All these replies to a old ass pasta
So it's true. /fit/ is nothing but year 1 lifters

>>40004482
Rollin

>>40004482
ROLL

>>40008794
Who cares dude figure it out yourself

Matches come and go all the fucking time

>>40004482
wad

>>40004482
Roll.

Someone actually put a lot of effort into that pic.

>>40012332
Shit one, reroll.

>>40012338
Fuuuuark!