D&D

>>39885728
Oh god please post more about this

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What is this and can I have more

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>playing Dumbells & Dragons when the 3rd edition of Bar-Pathfinder just came out
Apply yourselves

Can I use "detect broscience" spell to identify unkown protein shakes? Rule are rather vague on it.

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>>39885728
The problem is that balance is impossible without homebrewing the shit out of the rules. As you say, swoleness is basically the god-stat and there's no incentive for the players to invest experience in meme-tier feats like Improved Mobility or Conditioning.

Personally I try to use dungeon design to make up for the faults of the system. Replace your bog-standard orcs and hobgoblins with Mindflayers and Vampires loaded up with charm/domination spells, and suddenly the minmaxed 8INT, 8WIS Brobarians are more of a hazard to themselves and the rest of the party than the enemy is.

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>>39885827
>implying that Bar-pathfinder isn't just a derivation of D&D 3.5 designed for people too stupid to play D&D 3.5

>>39885933
>Improved Mobility or Conditioning
>meme-tier
They're god-tier if you're playing as Calisthenic Monk.

>>39885728
Can we tone down gains goblins effectiveness? they already take too many forms and it's really hard countering them unless you pump your discipline stat a lot.

Can we just accept that the only way to beat the final boss is to betray Scooby and take the scoops from Wealthy PianoMan to leave humanity behind? Seriously, if you haven't gotten 8scoops by the time you reach Snap City you should just quit.

My bard sucks, his 18 swoleness means his hands are too big to play the lute properly and sometimes he accidentally snaps it in half in the heat of battle

>>39886156
Nigga, just go to the Manlet Mountains find nearest city and ask blacksmith to forge dumbbell flute.

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>be glorious half orc Brobarian
>kill countless gain goblins, orcs, and bandits
>more gains than Brodin himself
>can fucking solo Bronze Golem Lenny with nothing but a barbell spear and a turn 1 cast of Greater Roid Rage
>can't stand the fucking dyel elf bard in the party, who thinks his skelly abs and shitty 3 chord lute songs make him hot shit
>in combat he just fucking hides in the back plucking on his lute to "inspire" us while the rest of the party does the heavy lifting
>mfw he still gets all the tavern wenches and effortlessly talks up the new qt3.14 cardio ranger in the group
>mfw when I realize that no amount of gains can ever make up for my hobbled social and mental stats

>>39886042
yeah seriously

it's gotten to them point where as a DM, my party is pathologically averse to gains goblins

>local town mayor asks party to clear out tribe of gains goblins that have overrun the nearby iron mine, the only source of income for the town
>party immediately decides to just seal the entrance with muscle magic and alchemical cement, then move all their loot and money to a different region just in case the goblins escape

>>39886666
>underrated post
>also checked

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>Play as Druid with gymrat as a companion
>Party include Mutant Brobarian, fucker wields great barbell sword in one hand. He truly left humanity behind
>Human Cleric, the sickkunt priest of the Zyzz
>And fucking Dwarflet Warrior
>anyway, new town, head to the nearst gym to drink some protein shakes and get a word from locals what's going on
>Munatn heads to hand wrestle with locals, cleric goes with him to watch and throw incantations while no one is watching to help Brobarian
>Dwarflet and I sit while finishing our shakes
>Suddenly some shady figure sits down to our table and starts conversation
>Says that there's hidden artifact in a cave near town and we should totally check.
>My knowedge of nature tells me there's something off about this guy, but I failed my detect broscience check to know more
>Dwarflet gets exited, gather rest of the party members to decide what to do next
>Dwarflet insist to go to the cave, try to convince him to further investigate, but his stubborn as a mule
>Mutant doesn't really care as long as he can smach something with his barbell sword
>Cleric says that it's a sadkunts way to do nothing and we should go to the cave if we doesn't have anything better
>Go to the cave next day
>Advice other party members to be careful and let me or cleric detect any traces of broscience before we enter
>Dwarflet says fuck it and charges in as I start to throw spell
>detect "dad's who once saw fitness show in his 30's" levels of broscience
>oh shit

cont.

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>>39887674
>we ready our weapons as we go inside after the Dwarflet
>as we enter we see him in the middle waist deep into the ground
>apparently he fell into SS trap in the ground and now his legs are swole inside the hole, so he can't move
>at this moment shady figure from the gym pops out of nowhere and cast dryspell on as (AOE drains swoleness and charm)
>Cleric can't incantate half of his stuff know, Brobarian severly handicapped
>shady figure drops hood from his head as he says "Haha! You fell into my ambush, now you shell die!", turns out he was gains goblin in disguise
>as he says that 5 swolebolds come from the sides, another from the other
>No clear path of escpae, we need to fight at least some of them to even escape
>After fierce battle we manage to kill 6 swolebolds and escape barerly alive
>Dwarflet unconsious, Mutant carry him on his back
>My gymrat companion is dead
>Set up camp to heal
>Manage to stabilize and wake up Dwarflet
>He quickly look around to asses the situation and asks
>"So did we find the artifact or do we go back?"
>Lost my shit and punch that little cunt, so we have another few hours of silence
>Fucking Dwarflets, when will they learn.

>>39887674
A TRUE WIZZARD HAS APPEARED
Pic related

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>DM asks our brobarian to roll 1d20 every couple of moves for a fortitude save
>We just ignore it and roll with it
>A bit later
>We come upon a Barbell Spear +1pl8
>Brobarian can't wait to equip it
>DM asks if he's sure
>Equips it
>Rolls for fortitude save
>Rolls a 1
>DM tells us Brobarian falls down in pain with -1 HP
>We all look around at one another incredulous
>Then it hit me
>Mfw our Brobarian forgot to equip his Squat Plug

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>>39887674

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>>39886666
>TFW you realize you should have stat dumped into charisma instead of con, strength, and int.

>tfw no elvish gf

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>>39887674
>>39887683
Noice

>>39887790
I envisioned it as barbell with 1 or 2pl8s as handguard (or whatever it's called), but that also works. Final Fantasy-esque kinda.

>>39886004
(You)