New Year's Resolutions

Get leg lenghtening

Get dick lengthening

>>39803032
Get down on it. Deiaia deiaia.

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>>39803032

get brain lengthening.

It's probably not even called like that, GOD I'M SO STUPID

>>39803032
>I'm prone to major depressive periods
fucking sad-sack millenials. man up.

>>39803088
no u

>>39803088
I'm trying to get through it without medication, but it's like lugging a sack of shit around.

1. Get a promotion / raise at work
2. Get back to 3pl8 squat. (Had the terrible triad and 3 major knee surgeries to accompany it. Previously 365# max)
3. Be more social

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What's a good goal to set for yourself, I literally can't think of one.

>>39803181
I'm trying to do SMART goals, meaning you do specific, realistic goals that have a due date. So you don't just want to say you want to be fit or you want to learn guitar, you say want to bench x amount by y date or learn x song by y date.

I'm making a list of movies to watch (good ones - I used to be a big film buff, foreign movies and all that but now I just watch superhero movies from the redbox), books to read, and working on my SMART goals.

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>>39803032
Try not to get belligerently drunk and embarrass myself again.

lmao2pl8 squat by sometime mid january, currently at 210

>>39803032
Glad to hear you're doing something to improve your life OP, I'm sorry to hear 2016 wasn't a good year for you, I sincerely hope it gets better come this year.
As for my goals
>Got down to 160lbs
>Going for 130lbs sometime during April, sooner the better (5'7" manlet with a frame size of a female's)
>Continue with educating myself on fashionable clothing and getting serious with my personal grooming
>Expand my wardrobe and throw out what doesn't look good/fit properly (I'm slim fit)
>Continue managing my money properly
>Get a BF that'll actually last and won't leave me over stupid shit like my BF just did right before Christmas
>Buy a new computer so I can actually play Dark Souls 3 and current gen games
>Move into a place away from my current, crabs in a bucket fat roommates

>>39803032
>Get ADHD diagnosis by the end of January
>Get up to 145 pounds by March
>210 squat, 242 diddly, 126 row, 105 ohp by May

That's it. Intellectual gainz are hampered by my terrible attention span, which is depressing since I have dreams of being something of a polymath by age 50.

>>39803555
Thanks anon

So far I've got:
>Nebulous guitar goal (need to do some research on what's a realistic goal to reach by March)

>Get down to goal weight by end of March, I need to lose about 20lbs so that should be doable in 3 months, I think

> Start school again in January and get all As

> Nebulous lifting goals, want to become green man on symmetric strength

>>39803735
Those are some good goals! Much less materialistic and vain that my own haha.
Really hope you get those OP. College is a goal I'll be reserving for 2018.
At the moment got too much on my plate, and too many things I need to have done that have no actual date yet.

Switching from bulk to cut. I'm going to get shredded and get on FetLife so I can start tying women up and hurting them in a consensual fashion.

>>39803778
Hey don't get yourself down. Dark Souls 3 is pretty important.

Good luck with the new BF too.

3 plate for reps high bar squat, 5 plate dead (4 palte will be achieved Friday, 3 plate bench, 2 plate OHP strict or at least 1.5)

Other than that live off old wealth

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>>39803814
Haha it really is. Game is dope, played a little of it on roommate's xbox.
And thanks! Hopefully he won't leave me over some stupid shit like ex did.
>"I'm only with you because you're feminine. And seven years down the line when you're less feminine, I don't see myself having a future with you"
>"And I'd like to have a wife and kids, and if I'm in a relationship with you I won't be able to do that"
>"I also can't risk anyone I know finding out about us"
Felt great. Really.

>>39803032
>fap once a week
>reach 160 pounds
>3pl8 squat
>2.5pl8 bp
>2pl8 dl
>get a gf
>have a close friend

>>39803861
Your ex boyfriend sounds highly confused as to who he is and what he wants. You're better off without him so you can be with someone who isn't fooling himself.

>>39803866
I really need some close friends too. I'm a little wary of making that a goal though because I don't have 100% control over it. I think maybe I'll consider making myself do social things a certain of number times a month or doing a talking to strangers challenge and hope something comes of it.

>>39803891
Haha yeah, the roommate I talked with laid all that out to me. I even joked he should've figured himself out yesterday (like years ago) instead of that day and fucking me over like that.
Thank you anon, I'm hoping I find someone right for me.

Gonna start doing cardio, and getting back to the gym. Doing this for myself and so I can be happier with my physical appearance, and I know how to do every machine at my gym, my only issue is I don't know what machine to go to on what day

>>39804039
Not sure if this is bait, but read the sticky.

You should really leave the machines behind, though you can start there if you need to. Start doing Strong Lifts 5x5 until you get super bored (not just bored...SUPER BORED) or stop making progress. Then look into other routines.

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I WILL achieve abs in 2017.

>>39803088
why is there always this poster, I bet your life is in the toilet too. >hurr nut up or shut up bitch

>>39804135

>not sure if this is bait
>recommends a 5x5 routine

It's like bait ception in here lol

>>39804226
I'd recommend starting at 5x5, switching to 3x5 when the workouts start turning into 90 minute slogs, and then switching to a bro split either when you stop progressing or get really fucking bored.

What do you recommend anon?

My goal is to fuck 10 girls and for them to be cuter than the ones I fucked last year on average. Last year's resolution was 6 and I fucked 8 so I think I'll manage 10 easy, feel like I can stop thinking in terms of numbers so much once I've done that. Getting better at it too. Also to study speaking Russian, save more money, get my lifts up etc regular goals

>>39803032
Good luck Opie

>3 pl8 squat for reps
>2 pl8 bench for reps
>Improve cardio and stamina
>Lose 15-25 lbs
>Get into BSN program

>>39804244
How did you fuck 8

I fuck like 3 girls a year, pathetic

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>>39803032
build a home gym and not eat like shit

>>39803032
convert to islam then explode in one of meccas. Must fight fire with fire

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>>39803617
as someone who's life was almost ruined by undiagnosed ADHD, I wish you the best

>>39804290
/pol/ please go

>>39804313
>only /pol/ hates mudslimes

>>39803866
why is dl so low?

>>39804265
Started being as social as possible and just showing my face around my social group more. Other than like 1 or 2 every girl I've ever gotten was from a party atmosphere so I just went out every time I had a chance. Lifting makes a huge difference to average girls and I'm not even that big at all I just have some good features so far. Most of the girls came up to me not me to them. And don't say it's pathetic bro in 2015 I only fucked 2 girls even though it was all I ever thought about. This can definitely be your year if you make a solid plan

>graduate from uni
>get a good job
>trademark and actually start my own business that i have been trying to get started for some time
>get new car
>get gf
>read 2 books a month
>just be a better person and more open to others and be more proactive

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I plan on reading 50 books by the end of 2017. If I can lift heaving things up and down 6 days a week I can surely give my mind some kind of work out.

>>39804320
Fuck off /pol/

>>39804396
fuck off raghead

>>39804391
Nice, I'm going to try for 24 books. Some of the books I plan on reading are some 1000 page Neal Stephenson doorstops though. I'm trying to make my goals safely doable but still better than what I normally do.

>Compete in mma
>advance in my "bouncing career"(from bars to nightclubs)
>get in to trade school
>get a gf

>>39804410
Im cheating and getting a head start with one right now. I dont know if I will make it but worse case I get a good education

>>39804414
What are you reading now?

>>39804423
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, got a few F1 Drivers autobiographies for christmas so they are next. I imagine non-fiction will be a faster read as there is no plot of charactors to keep thinking of

Finally reach 200 lbs
Finally reach 1/2/2.5/3/4
Draw something at least once a week
Improve my mobility

>>39804645
What do you mean by improve mobility? Like rock climbing or parkour?

Are you gaining or losing weight?

>continue losing more weight
>get back to making Youtube videos
>be more social
>acquire bf with loose skin or low standards

>>39804777
>>acquire bf with loose skin or low standards
are you m or f?

why loose skin or low standards?

Get an internship

Pass organic chemistry and physics

Get ripped, and stay off the internet for a while

>>39803032
1/2/3/4

>>39805380
I'm a female with a good deal of loose skin.

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>actually start lifting

gonna start in a few days. I'm new here

>>39805531
Do you specifically want a boyfriend with loose skin or do you think that is the best you can do?

I'm a skinny to average female in love with an overweight guy (most guys I have liked have been overweight - maybe I have a fetish?) so I'm curious.

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This is a fun list to make.

>Get into my dream college
>Deadlift 3pl8
>nofap for 1 year (idgaf if you think it doesn't do anything I want to do the challenge and report my experiences)
>be more outgoing
>sex

>>39805538
>Do you specifically want a boyfriend with loose skin or do you think that is the best you can do?
It's somewhat of a mix. Being with someone else dealing with loose skin sounds like it would be easier to feel comfortable around them and they'd understand more.
If a conventionally attractive man shows interest in me, I get scared and feel like I'm tricking him because I carry weight better than some women, but I look horrible outside of clothes.

>>39803032
i started this year pushing almost 400 pounds im down to 315 and i want to be 225 this time next year

OP here, working on my SMART goals:

>Keep a journal detailing all my work and major goals broken down into minor goals. I have to track and push myself to stay ahead of the depression.

>Finish JustinGuitar's Beginner Course in 8 months, may need to adjust if this turns out to be too ambitious, but that seems to be a reasonable goal based on how long other people have taken. There are 9 stages, so about a stage per month.

>Get down to goal weight by end of April (changed from March to avoid setting myself up for possible failure), I need to lose about 20lbs, so 5lbs per month. I tend to lose weight fast at first and plateau quickly so it'll probably be ~10 lbs the first month and then eeking out the last of it.

>Start school again in January and get all As

>Finish Computer Science AAS and prepare to begin bachelor degree

>Pay off credit card by end of April, will break this down into monthly goals

>Read 24 Books over course of the year - wrote out list with some space left off for write ins

>Watch 30 (good) movies over the course of the year - wrote out list with some space left off for write ins

>Walk 1000 miles with my dog by end of 2017, have it broken down into monthly and weekly goals

>Still need to research reasonable lifting goals

I think these are my major time consuming goals. I'm going to start habit tracking too for good decisions that don't take any time (taking vitamins, drinking water, etc).

>>39805625
same fat fuck here i also plan on transferring from CC to real school and finishing my degree and having 7500 liquid assets as a goal

>>39805602
Hmmm...I can't speak for males being attracted to females, but when I like someone, I really don't give a shit about their weight. And I get just as nervous and scared around them as if they were supermodels. If I like someone, they are gorgeous to me no matter what, I get totally starry eyed.

So I'd like to think if a conventionally attractive guy approached you, they're into you because they're into you and don't care if you don't look objectively great without your clothes because you're going to look subjectively great to them.

Then again, going by a lot of posts here, guys are fucking jerks. So who knows. Best of luck to you in finding that guy.

300+lb bench, 400+lb squat, 500+lb deadlift, 6- minute mile. Try and qualify for crossfit games. Be more social, drink less... get over my ex gf finally.

>>39805687
how close are you to these goals already? that's some high standards

>>39805633
Oh, and I'm going to post an underwear picture in the CBT May 1st, no matter what happens with my weight loss and strength progress.

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NYResolutions are fucking weak
Ima just continue grinding away at 5/3/1 steadily increasing mah lifts

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>>39803032
You guys ready?

>>39806000
thats a lot of gains

>>39805982
I normally agree, but after a year of sitting around in a funk, I'm ready to start working towards goals again and it happens to coincide with New Year's so I'm going with it.

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>reach goal weight by end of january
>pass my classes with at least a B
>eat less sugar
>binge less
>deadlift 6 plates
>squat 5 plates
>bench 3 plates ;_;
>ohp 2 plates
>get a summer job and make lots of money
>make less impulse decisions

drop to 13-14% bodyfat, bench 405, deadlift 700

ideally move out of my college town, grew up here, went to school here, got a job at the uni after graduating and I need a change of scenery

I am reasonably content with my 2016 progress.

Goals were finish MSc - Done
Read 1 book per week, achieved an average of .8 per week.
Exercise 4 times a week, achieved an average of 2.54 per week (could have been a bit better)
Go to Alcoholics Anon 3 times a week, achieved an average of 3 times per week.

First three months of 2017
Complete 90 AA meetings in 90 days
Pass another Penetration Testing qualification
Move into penetration testing job
3 x week exercise
Pay off £3,000 of debt

Tough but attainable goals.

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>>39803074
>There are people online, right now, who share this board with you, who honestly prefer anybody else to Triss

Here's to you, you delusional faggots

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I know they're not impressive but:

>get to ~175-180lbs by summer
>deadlift lmao3pl8 for reps by end of year
>squat lmao2pl8 for reps
>drink less
>figure out (and hopefully fix) what's causing my soft erections/ED/quickfiring penis
>be more social and make some friends through school
>talk to this qt girl who's in my program
>continue to do well in school
>actually get over ex
>read three books

I have a horrible habit of starting books but not finishing them

r8 my goals /fit/

>>39804321
I've had a back injury for about 6 months now and I've only been lifting for 2 years

>>39803032
Get /fit/. I'm a skelly that just recently started coming here. Things in my life worked out so that I haven't had a chance to buy enough food to gain weight until this coming semester but I really don't want to look like a fag resolutioner in the gym because I'm not. Debating waiting a few weeks to start going once school starts just to avoid that label. Fug

>>39804265
Step 1. Be good looking
I fucked 32 chicks this year. Yiewww

>>39803156
Here's how I deal with this same issue. First, I remind myself that just like all the other episodes, this one too will pass with time. No amount of being "cheered up" helps. It just takes time. The beauty of being cognizant of this fact is I know that all I have to do is wait it out and I'll feel better. It's funny when it starts to happen to. Like getting over a sickness. One minute I'm sitting in shit and the next minute I realize I feel the slightest bit better. Then I snap out of it until next time.

The other thing that works for me is I tell myself that I don't have to be this way. I don't have to be depressed if I don't want to be. I tell myself that I'm not really that fucked up. I've just been told that I am and over time I came to believe it creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. This is of course all bullshit. However, the mind is a strange machine and this little mantra actually helps sometimes. Maybe give it a shot, dude.

>>39803032
My goal for 2017 is to rigorously stick to my lifting schedule, maintain full intensity in my sets, and eat/sleep for optimal recovery.
Hopefully by the end of the year, I'll be benching 3 plates and squatting 4. We'll see.

>>39806048
Just stick to it and don't be a quitter, bro

>>39803386
I look at goal setting a little different so here's what works for me. I realize that doing something like benching 3 plates is obviously not something I can just walk into the gym and do if I haven't gotten to that level yet. So it doesn't really work for me to have the goal "bench 315 pounds by 12/31/17". That's too much outside of my control. So I think of that as more of an aspiration.
What is in my control though is going to the gym without missing days, workout hard with correct form, and eat the right things. That is under my direct control. If I do those things, I've accomplished what I set out to do.
I may or may not get to 315 but I stand a much better chance this way. And if I don't, I'm don't feel like a failure as I did everything I could and did accomplish my real goals.

>>39805957
can't wait ill hold ya to it

>>39804290
You're a fucking bigot

Stop watching porn

>survive til 2018

>>39806171
Triss best girl

>>39806000
What the fuck is wrong with people? I hope I never see anyone trying this shit. I'd be too tempted to tip him over.
>Looks like he knows karate though.

>plant crops
>breed chickens
>process older chickens
>continue to lose weight (need to be below 185 before February)
>Get a part time job
>join a gun club
>get some dumbbells
>work on finishing home gym
>most importantly make friends, been alone since the big move

I accomplished way more this year so those are all reasonable.

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>>39806418
Hi there another one like me, who has nothing to look forward in the next year.

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>>39803032
fuck more chick than this year.
wont be hard since i only fucked one.

but my life is finaly starting.

>>39804410
Nice, I got cryptonomicon up next

>>39806203
you are retarded.

>>39803032
>Stop smoking cigarettes.
>Stop baiting everyday.
>Be nicer to friends and coworkers.
>Stop playing hearthstone at work and actually learn to program in mazatrol instead of just making edits.
>Stop banging fat chicks.
>Read more real books instead of comics
>Stop spending money on stupid shit like comics, MTG cards, HS cards, mushrooms, pot and alcohol.
>Walk my dog more before he dies of old age and boredom.
>Get tested for STD's, and make other regular doc visits. Maybe get that finger in the ass test...

That's about it. Feels good to actually type them all out. Sounds doable right?

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bang college sloots at least every other week

Run three kilometers in twelve minutes.

Run one 10k a week.

Hit my old, unimpressive lifts at the gym.

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>Continue to lose weight
>Continue to improve running time
>Get better at Bass
>Get into Army Air Corp
>Collect more records/CDs
>See more bands live
>Preferably move country or at least to a house
>Not to slip back to reading shitty teenage books

I believe these are all achievable, pic is goal body

>>39807298
I would put my dick inside of your goal body.>>39807298

>Be able told hold a conversation in russian
>300 lbs bench press
>450 lbs deadlift
>400 lbs squat
>buy a second condo and lease it out or invest in something else.

>>39803032
currently 5'9.5" 160 lbs @ 22% bf
next year's goal is 155 lbs @ 12%

>>39803032
>abs
>B1 german
>gf instead of fucking sloots and fatties for the ego boost
>finish my degree

>>39806195
Sounds good to me, though you might want to be more specific than "drink less"

>>39806246
How do you manage to be productive during the depression though? I'm trying to change careers and that wasted time kills me.

I'm not going to date a girl anymore it's tedious as fuck and i literally see no point in it other than endless waiting or discussing pointless stuff

>>39806281
That is a good point, though according to the SMART system, you're supposed to be sure you're creating reasonable goals and then creating micro goals leading up to them. So if benching 315 is unrealistic, you shouldn't make that goal in the first place.

One thing I'm struggling with is that I really want to get a new job, but I can't control getting hired, so I think I'm going to make incremental goals: finish portfolio, redo resume, polish cover letter writing, apply to x number of jobs a week.

>>39806756
That and Anathem are in my stack. I've read Snow Crash, The Diamond Age (my favorite) and Reamde already. I want to get better at reading through the bulk of an author's work. I want to be one of those people who read an author's new book when it gets released and goes to book signings and shit.

>>39807298
What are shitty teenage books? Like twilight?

>>39803032
2016 was my worst year by far but also the most crucial for self-discovery. I've regressed a shit ton but I'm at a point where I can either formally decide to push forward or die in the foothills of existence.

2017, I either make myself great again or conclude I never was great.

2016 was a bizarre mix of serious highs and lows for me. It was hard but I've learned a lot. That's how you grow I guess

Trying to move from Stripped 5x5 to Gzcl hopefully I'll get gains over a longer period of time. Also organize my damn house.

I WANT A FUCKING SIX PACK IM STUCK WITH MY 2 PACK AND LOW WEIGHT, FUCK!

>>39807856
I work on the easiest stuff I can get by with, do the absolute minimum, and work as slowly as possible. Not sure if that helps but that's how I get things done when I'm dragging that bag of shit around.

>>39809867
Thanks anon. I'm planning on going back to school, so hopefully the deadlines and wasted money will keep my ass in check.

>>39806171
Real men go Yen
>Not a needy child with big tits
>More stronk
>Freakier in bed

Triss the type of chick to lay on her back and moan softly

Yen fucks YOU on a dead Unicorn

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Get BF% to 12
Get my qt3.4 GF to lift
eat her out after she comes back from the gym in yoga pants

Make as much money as possible at new career, then get new career for more $$$$$$$$

Get new car
Avoid general existential dread

bumpo

>>39805863
255 bench, 315 squat, 405 dead, 6:45 mile... antisocial alcoholic and I am still in love.

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>>39806203
if you're a resolutioner who actually sticks it out and becomes a gym-goer, then you're not a resolutioner are you faggot

also don't do a bunch of dumb shit, do something like SL or SS for at least three months and follow the fucking program and you won't look/seem like a "resolutioner"

Buy a house
Get a doggo
weigh 180 lbs
DEF CON 5k - All 4 days
Continue not getting fired

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>>39804396
Day of the rope soon mudslime. Maybe 2017 if the momentum carries over.

That'd be the best resolution, a reconquista enough to grind mecca into dust.

In 2016 I went from 6'2 325lbs fat bear to also 6'2" 265lbs less fat bear. Dropped from a 2XL to a Lg and 48 pants to a 40, but I also tanked from 425 to 375 on my squat.

In 2017 I want to lose the last like 30-40lbs then maybe bulk (the thought of gaining weight literally terrifies me though) and hit a lmao 2pl8 bench. Also stop being a kissless virgin despite being in college.

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I want a social life, but I'm pretty sure that's not happening with being a STEM major and working in a lab.
Also secretly want bf.

I want to complete a triathlon.

>>39806203

>Im trying to get fit in January

>I-im not a resolutioner though!

Fuck off dude, no one actually really cares. Come in January and eevryone will think you are a resolutioner but who fucking cares. You think they will snigger at you or trip you up. Text pics of you as a "filthy resolutioner"? No, they will notice you for half a second then get back to working out.

The "wait for a week or two to avoid being a resolutioner" is actually typical resolutioner behaviour, just man up and go to the gym.

>>39803032
Get my pectus excavatum fixed.

I'm going to make my journey from a skinnyfat lanklet to milfslayer level. I'm hoping if I'm meticulous enough with my diet I can pull it off within 2-3 years but we'll see

>>39803032
>read more books (currently doing how to win friends and influence people, next up is pre suasion)
>program a personal app for android (already have an idea)
>get rid of my small belly, it's almost gone but there is still a bit left
>become straight due to a wonder or get a bf
>finally progress better on deadlift, bench and squat. I plateaued on 100kg for each one which is completely fucked up

>>39803032
>Make 10k/month
>Gain 20lbs
>Read 1 book a week