alpha stories

>>39795965
One time when I was about 15 I just walked behind the counter at my local rite aid and stole a couple packs of cigs.

>>39795965
Went to prom with my oneitis
Slowed danced with her once, then she went to hang with her friends the rest of prom.
I sat down the whole time because I didn't like the music and because I didn't know how to dance and would make a fool of myself.

>be me
>girl say u wan fuk?
>i say lol no
>alpha AS FUCK
OP unironically kys this isn't fit related

>>39795980
dude why didnt you get shitfaced or take some rolls. shit would have been awesome and you probably would have hit that afterwards

>>39796015
I couldn't drink at the time.
I was under aged.

>>39795965
Autism: The Thread

>drunk out if my mind Christmas eve at the bar
>some qt playing slots
>Never gambled in my life
>sit next to her and ask how I play
>shows me what to do and recommends a game
>slip a 20 in there
>win 70 bucks after a few spins lmao
>cash out because I'm not stupid
>night goes on and I become stupid
>sit by her again and slip in 100
>asked if she'd kiss me for good luck
>"win again and we'll see big boy"
>smash the button a few times and won $800
>guy next to me is dumbfounded and I'm in tears laughing
>get the kiss
>bought drinks for everyone in the bar
>tipped the bartender extra, gave $20s to anyone who wanted to play slots
>got her number
Probably most alpha moment in my life. Shame I won't be able to meet her.

>>39795965
>motivate a bunch of people to get fit
>encourage and help dudes find gfs
>teach them how to take charge and be leaders
i feel like being alpha is just being a good leader, its not about disrespecting a bunch of people or being a cocky douche, but earning respect and leading people in a way that builds a better group around you. now i know my guys have my fucking back wherever i go, and i can just be really nice to everybody i meet. id say thats about alpha as it gets

>>39796146
>Waste over $800 trying to impress a girl
>Got fake number and no chance of banging her

Wow dude so fucking Alpha.

>>39795965
>be me
>not you
>me
>earn lots of money
>like a whole lot
>especially for my age
>company offers good benefits
>decide to start lifting
>6 weeks into ICF 5x5 (thank you based jason)
>finish up and decide to go to grocery store still in my tank top
>got that juicy pump going on
>get chicken, eggs, veggies, and rice, and some whey protein
>qt3.14 at register
>OMin' it up (obviously mirin)
>she asks if I found everything I need today
>I say yes
>thinking of asking her to be my gf
MOMS GONNA FREAK

>>39796188
I only spent $400, and it wasn't for the girl. It's christmas mate, was a really fun night. Number is real anyway not that it matters.

File: 1449193447541.jpg (50KB, 463x396px) Image search: [Google]

50KB, 463x396px

>>39795965
>Be 6th grade
>Girl talks to me daily in science and thinks I'm really funny (I barely took showers, had long hair and wore the same black hoodie and jeans all the time)
>Talking to her on FB
>"lol anon a lot of people are saying we're a couple, are we?"
>"I don't think so"
>"Oh okay just making sure haha"
>mfw she never talked to me again
>mfw she's in OSU, Stacy, and drunk all the time

fake stories from imagination: the thread

inb4 some retard calls me a beta because I'm pointing out the obvious

> be me 16 at first job
> giving bricks and cement to bricklayers
> ass on a digger asks me to do a load of jobs for him when im busy
> shouts at me even though im busy
> later comes up to me and asks me to move a big pack of 400 bricks slightly over to the left so he can get his machine through
> grab pack by the crate underneath and flip it all
> all bricklayers laugh and i dont have to pick them back up because it was our last day

File: chloe.jpg (133KB, 800x1200px) Image search: [Google]

133KB, 800x1200px

>>39795965
>walk into gym
>see dyel high school kids benching .5pl8 (lol!)
>all other benches empty
>say "Hey ladies, this is my bench and you all need to scram unless you're in the mood for dental surgery. Since you're new here, I'll let you off with a warning just this once"
>as they slink away, I yell "Aren't you forgetting something?"
>can see tears welling up in their eyes
>"You need to load my weights. Show me some respect."
>make them load up 4pl8
>don't warm up because I'm not a pussy
>unrack the bar and it immediately crashes into my chest
>squirm around and feel like I'm going to pass out
>dyel kids run over and start lifting the bar
>the two of them can barely deadlift it up, kek
>burst out laughing as soon as the bar is reracked
>"You don't get it, do you? I was just PRETENDING to be stuck! You didn't think I actually needed your help, did you? LOL"
>load up an extra 25 on each side and glare at them until they leave
>do my work sets with 185

feels good to be an alpha

>>39796172
>i feel like

beta detected

>>39795965
A true alpha male lives to honour and righteousness, a true alpha is disciplined and true alpha male is one who works out not just body but also both his mind and soul. Such an alpha must scup this temple and give honour to God through his physique but also sharpen his mind and strengthen his spirit brahs.

>>39796371
*sculpt

>>39796371
>A true alpha male lives to honour and righteousness
but how do I find true righteousness?

>>39796449
Read of it and meditate on what you learn, find time for silence and reflection. My first piece of advice is to question everything you have been told yet be open to all ideas whilst also analysing them. For me what holds a great truth about life is the Book of Ecclesiastes.

>>39796232
>Being so beta you call yourself a beta before someone else calls you a beta.

Thats pretty beta anon.

>>39795965
>In highschool in Florida
>hanging out @ gfs friends house with gf
>theres a couch right in front of a bed with my gf and all her friends sitting on it talking to me
>my gf is a super horny teenager after about 5 minutes of talking she comes over and starts kissing me and takes her shirt and bra off
>she just plain out says "put your dick in me" so we start getting undressed and she starts blowing me right in front of her friend and we proceed to fuck while they watch.
>after we finish we go back to chilling and all her friends are being touchy around me and grabbing my arms and laughing at innocent stuff I say
>my gf passes out after we start drinking
>me and all her friends go to the beach to smoke a blunt
>when we get there we smoke and chill until one of her friend suggest we skinny dip
>I watch them all get undress and theyre literally standing right in front of me naked and I take my phone and snap a pic with the flash on
>they don't care but tell me to take my pants off so I do and we go skinny dipping and I fondle their tits and asses in the water
This was a couple years ago and I broke the phone but I still have it, I'm gonna get it fixed soon so I get the picture off of it.

File: IMG_1845.jpg (42KB, 480x471px) Image search: [Google]

42KB, 480x471px

>break up with gf 18 months ago
>try getting back with her last week
>doesn't work
>feel really shit and sad
Alpha as fuck

>>39796472
>Book of Ecclesiastes.
Is this christianity? I dont mind I'm not a super athiest or anything but I dont agree with 90% of christians and what they think.

>hot Puerto Rican navy chick wants that D
>my place is too far
>barracks
>hand guard our ID's (I'm civilian)
>10 minutes to curfew
>eyebrow raise
>guards look in car, chuckling
>waves me through

fuck yea

>walk past tons of other sailors
>ohshitohshitohshit
>all eyes on us, them checking watches
>drunk cheering
>shes embarrassed
>my confidence is now inflated to the max

30+ minutes later I'm piping this chick hard. (like 25+ minutes in)
>sweaty, out of control, shit is beyond my scope
>no joke this chick was trynna have my children
>door handle turns
>roommate busts in to our "middle of summer, sweaty as fuck" bodies
>without even breaking the beat
>her:GET..*pant*..OUT..*pant*
Door slams shut and not 5 seconds later we both finish.
It was the most satisfying sexual experience of my life.

Why are the mods such faggots?

>>39795965
I was at a house party and some bloke had his gf up against the fence punching the fence intimidating her.

I walked up behind him and pulled the cunt backwards by his collar, threw him on the ground and he looked like a stunned mullet, he stood up and said he was 'gonna smash me' I said go on then and sure enough nothing happened.
Domestic violence and that sort of stuff really makes my blood boil.

>>39796625
Why did they delete your adderall thread?

File: marchmad.jpg (151KB, 1128x1120px) Image search: [Google]

151KB, 1128x1120px

im quite the oppsite of an alpha, physically i am now (never was), but my mannerisms are shy and femanine. anyways back in hs i went to a party and there was 2 redhead twins that were pretty attractive. they must have been drunk or something because they were clinging to me like glue the whole night. i liked the one but the other i didnt care for so much and she kept sitting on me and interfearing with the other sister so i eventually got mad and told her to get lost. of course this backfired and they both ditched me but i never felt so alpha to deny 2 hot chicks. i felt like a man for once in my life rather than catering to women and failing i finally had it and outdid myself it was great (tho i regret missing possible threesome)

>>39796638
Not him but they pruned some entertaining off topic threads.

I hoping they don't prune the thread about the fag that skipped christmas dinner. They pruned the threat where the guy was asking about cheating on his friend though. Also the thread about autistic fit texting.

>Last night, Christmas Eve.
>Ate dinner with my white family of five over lively and fun conversations about school, work, and life.
>Went to Church and meditated on life and God.
>Went to bed on time after some more conversation thereafter, to prepare for today.

Feels good to be Supreme, /fit/.

>>39796638
Not my thread, but they just pruned a bunch I thought were funny, like the GF one.

They should really be more selective about what they delete. They should be removing nsfw and illegal shit, not more social threads that they're too autistic to let slide.

>>39796678
>>39796724
yes. we need more relationshit on this board. there is not enough. we need at least 50% relationshit, height, dick, and face threads. it's just the board culture. deal with it mods.

File: 1456905744800.gif (342KB, 500x377px) Image search: [Google]

342KB, 500x377px

>>39795980
I have a similar story
>go to prom
>be fatfuck, charismatic as fuck tho
>go with bros
>show up late so the dance floor isn't awkward as shit
>see old oneitis looking T H I C C in a red dress on the dancefloor
>leave my coat at the coat check and proceed to ditch the bros I came with.
>walk up directly behind oneitis and put my hands on her hips
>she notices its me and starts grinding on me
>i'm fighting off a semi boner because I was 17 and awkward
>she moves my hands from her hips to the front of her thighs and really presses that joooooocci asian ass against my cock
>thank fuck for boxer briefs because my cock was literally throbbing hard
>she reaches her hands back and grabs the back of my neck as I rhythmically grind my rock hard cock against her pussy
>dance like this for like 3-4 songs until we take a water break
>I basically have to hold her against me as we walk to the water because I'm pitching a very noticeable tent
>she smiles, takes me by the hand and we get water.
>rest of the dance she is all over my cock and constantly asking me to "dance" with her
>tfw this was the first girl I ever truly fell in love with
>tfw she didn't give a shit when we were 14 year old freshmen and I tried talking to her
>tfw I'd only gotten fatter since freshman year and she still preferred grinding on me to any of the thin, nu-male DYELs we went to school with

Cherry on top is that after the final song, she turned around and kissed me. We both ditched the friends we came with and she gave me roadhead on the drive back to her place.

>>39796756
oh and now that I've lost about 50lbs, she keeps texting me every time we're both on break from uni.

Might reply and go over to her place to bone her later this week

>>39796738
I mean thats a fair point. We have /soc/ for this type of shit. I wouldn't ever complain about mods doing their jobs.

Its not like they deleted them immediately either, there was a few laughs had.

A board being 100% on topic all the time would feel so wrong though. Shitposting is the source of basically all greatness along with its namesake of producing shit.

File: 187.jpg (41KB, 600x600px) Image search: [Google]

41KB, 600x600px

>>39795965

>be me
>be sitting inside of a parked car's passenger seat waiting for dad to come back from the store
>a group of 3 black people next to the car just talking (they already were before we got there)
>one of them just leans and then sit on the hood of the car
>I honk and give them pic related look.
>the dude nervously smiles and all 3 walk away to be talking somewhere else.

>>39796356
>beta detected
Gamma waves

>>39796703
SOMEONE LOCK ME UP

>>39796483
>things that definitely did not happen

>>39796146
>Shame I won't be able to meet her.

Why not?

File: thas rite.jpg (47KB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]

47KB, 500x500px

>>39795965
>throw a chicken at a guy's window
>he confronts me about it
>tell him to fuck off

>>39796756
>>39796768
Teach me your ways, senpai

File: 1460664544189.gif (477KB, 470x346px) Image search: [Google]

477KB, 470x346px

>>39797147
now that I'm thinner I have to do less talking to assert my dominance over other males in the vicinity. Just act as if you're completely sure of yourself.

I speak in a way where I indirectly make men, even if they are attractive chad looking types, look like bitches around me. Its all about presence, dig? learn to assert your presence, once you have the respect of the men and have gained alpha status amongst them, only then can you get women.

Granted that only really works in a school/workplace type setting where you all regularly see each other. Just be manly overall I'd say.

Nothing to do with /fit/. Take this cringey "le redpill" shit and fuck off.

>>39796629
The fact that this didn't end with "and then we fucked" makes it more believable, so if it's true then props to you

>>39796756
respect anon, I popped a boner on a girl at my homecoming dance at my high school

we ended up dating for a nearly a year

File: chad.png (401KB, 789x419px)

401KB, 789x419px

>get fit
>attract women
>fuck 5 wives at their home

>>39797246
yeah its true, my step dad used to beat my mum so it really sets me off.

>>39797047
Only visiting the state. Left today.

File: 1459879567481.jpg (117KB, 1224x720px) Image search: [Google]

117KB, 1224x720px

>>39797202
>t. buttmad beta

be me years back... Shredded/jacked as fuck.
>walks in white person trap house
>friend on couch playing xbox
>walk up to him "touches these massive biceps you faggot"
>he touches them and says "fuck that's hard"
>I respond "not as hard as my dick is about to be when I fuck this THOT in her ass"
>Fucks said THOT multiple times through out the night.
>Everyone is jelly and I used those calories to fuck up said THOT's guts.

Fuck it man, if you're not motivated to workout your goals aren't high enough: Females, war, proving a fucking point that you can master something as simple as picking something up and putting it back down.

Just because the neck beard male chooses not to remember the rumors told to him about my dick doesn't mean he's not competing against me in almost every aspect of life

The first step of being alpha male is mastery. If you can't master picking up an inanimate object and putting it back down and getting results in this life time, go fucking luck competing in way against a man who can.

>>39797360
*good fucking luck competing in any way against a man who can*

Typos don't mean shit when it comes to Mastery.

>>39797360
Ride the tiger brah

>>39796026
Alpha
Ass
Fuck

File: Kakashi.png (92KB, 296x264px) Image search: [Google]

92KB, 296x264px

>>39795965
>2 years ago
>me
>in the middle of epic bulk
>hamster cheeks and everything
>go into a club with friends
>hate clubs
>next to us a hen party
>one was getting married, the others were partying
>one was hot and doing crazy shit
>start dancing with the crazy bitch
>the one getting married asks if her friends could join us
>the guys are happy
>I dance and make out with the crazy one all night
>take her number at the end
>make out with another one of them
>2 days later
>go hiking with the crazy one
>miss bus back to town "by accident"
>hire a hotel room
>best sex ever

>1 year ago
>stopped training due to injury
>dropped weight like crazy
>go out with my friend and his friends
>suddenly downpour
>it's early autumn
>no taxis that can get in the area
>them and everyone is scared
>take the lead
>tell them that I will take everyone to a warm and dry place
>sprint to nearest hotel in the most efficient/dry manner
>tell them to crank the heating
>order 10 mugs of tea (my wallet hated me)
>go back
>tell them where and how to get there
>take them there
>they drink tea and are happy
>only 1 guys grumbles and decides to walk in the rain

>3 months ago
>skinny/otter mode
>24
>be in lunch break at the office
>playing with a deck of cards
>doing shuffles and flourishes
>two girls looking at me
>"Anon what are you doing?"
>both are older than me
>blonde one is 31
>black hair is 33
>I explain it to them
>show them a few tricks
>read their fortunes
>invite them to the Christmas fair on the weekend
>they agree
>on the fair
>blackie is a total bitch
>constantly complains
>I respond with dry humor/wit
>turns her on
>she turns me on
>we decide to ditch blondie and go to a bar
>get drunk together
>makeout
>says she is too tired for more today
>adds me on FB/Instagram
>text with her the next day
>share stupid/basic pictures with her
>go clubbing with her after work that week
>have sex with her
>still text with her
>planning on going mountain biking with her.

>>39797550
I am still an aspie by normie standards. Thank fuck for my dry wit/sarcasm.

>>39796615
>navy

>>39796188
Don't be jelly you boring cuck. Even if he doesn't ever see that girl again that's still a fantastic story he will remember and tell others for the rest of his life. It is absolutely worth $800.

>>39796273
So tsundere. When do they fuck you in the ass?

>>39796566
You wasted 18 months of your life. You could have hit the gym hard, found a new hobby, went out with friends, talked to girls etc.

File: 1463492800631.jpg (219KB, 1273x1024px) Image search: [Google]

219KB, 1273x1024px

Jesus Christ, some of you are so autistic it must be physically painful for you to even breathe.

>>39796645
>The greatest moment of your life was getting mad at 2 horny chicks
>Afterwards they bounce because they realise you're an autistic retard
>You end up thinking you're the one that chose to leave them

>>39796837
>Be chilling with bros
>Lean on the hood of some random's car
>Suddenly a fat manchild honks and starts gesticulating in his daddy's car, all while his seatbelt is still on
>Have a hearty laugh with the lads and go into the store to get some drinks

>>39796224
A L P H A
V O N
K E K U L E

>>39796273
Is that an actual picture of her or is it shoped?