Funny gym incidents

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REALLY funny gym incident anon please post more

>>39732262
you aren't zercher squatting 495 for sets of 8 you lying faggot

>>39732282
Why not, its easy when you're a former super heavyweight national level wrestler

>today i lifted more than someone at the gym
what an incident

>>39732298
state?
>inb4 some low level one

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>>39732298
you aren't

no video, no did-eo faggot

>be a casual gym goer
>Squat day
>Go to gym
>Some powerlifting fat ass on the squat rack for two hours doing like one rep at a time, 15 minute breaks

I fucking hate you people.

>>39732262
>lying to spineless homosexuals on a swahili canoe-carving forum

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>>39732262
>last year
>trying to go from hamplanet to normie
>start treadmill
>run a mile
>feelsgoodman.jpg
>phone falls
>zomg read to grab it
>forget to keep running
>gloriously fall and get thrown by treadmill
>fat rolls slap together as if clapping for gravity
>get up and it doesn't look like anyone saw it
>hobble back on treadmill
>do another mile
>cry on way home in my car

Still going to the gym though!

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>>39732262
>sit at home, studying for orgo chem final
>attention span too low, so refresh fit occasionally
>see this thread of some faggot looking for self validation cause he ain't got no friends to lift with and is feeling all jelly of people who do and have a good time while at it
>my sides

>>39732298
fuck off, newfag. you have never done zercher squats in your life.

>>39732298
>former super heavyweight national level wrestler
There is no super heavyweight weight class in elementary through college wrestling. Fuck off retard.

>>39732652
that's the spirit

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>>39732432
>fat powerlifter doing exactly this
>whatever i'll just bench while i'm waiting
>midway through last set
>power lifter finishes
>someone else immediately hops in squat rack
>to deadlift

god dammit deadlift somewhere else

>>39733057
being a wrestler makes you able to zercher squat 495x8. mmk

>>39732722
>organic chem final

unlucky lad

>>39732262
Lies

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I went to the local village gym long ago.

There was this huge thai guy roiding asf there....

There was urine checks added because someone cared.

The thai had big arms n shiet.
T.40 bald,

One day he was like an old baloon!
all was missing, his complexion was faded and he looked punctured all over.
He had lost alot of muscles.

I guess he stopped roiding because its very illegal and he didnt want jail.
He didnt even try buying some urin.

Kek

Then i saw that he was actually daycare assistant.

"T, diesel bull, daycarer, soon to be jailed"

He bailed.

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>>39733135
>village gym

>>39732262
So you're saying you zercher squat more than 495?

Yeah right

>>39733117
Who the fuck even said that you dumb faggot. Why would I even need to address something as preposterous as that? Do you need someone to confirm for you that the kid on the playground's dad really doesn't work for Playstation and he really doesn't have a Playstation 8 at home either?

>>39733234
Old barn with weights

>>39732262
What do your arms look like if you can zercher squat 495+?

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>at the gym, hitting upper body
>some guy I haven't seen before walks in
>he kinda looks lost, wonder if I should say anything. Think better of it.
>he goes to the leg press, loads some absurd weight
>I'm watching in the mirror as he pulls the guard and the platform collapses, driving his knees into his chest.
>he looks around, shocked, says nothing.

I had to run over and push press this dudes leg press platform back up. He just kinda mumbled something and walked out.

>>39733108
>being too autist to actually ask

>>39732262
>And powerlifters wonder why they got a bad wrap

was your pun intentional or not?

>>39732652
Kek

But good for you for sticking with it!

>>39732722
Same LMAO
Umn here

>>39732652
good on ya for getting back at it m8

>>39732652
Nice, I hope you realize eating is 90% of the work though

>>39733973
NY, just far enough away from the city.

Wanna talk about feels bro?

Our prof is really olds cshool and makes every exam short answer format. I am actually learning stuff, but its painful.

>>39732432
Fuck you brah I'm doing smolov fite me 1v1 I'll fucking rekt you m8 i swr on me mum

>>39732298
You're not a national wrestler.
You're not zercher squatting 495.

>>39732722
Paper due in 5 hours and I can't stop myself from browsing.

>>39732652
>hobble back on treadmill
>do another mile

>Still going to the gym though!
Props for not going home in shame and never going back. Good work man.

>>39732652
Limited eating, minimal sugar, minimal fats, and no cheese. That's all it takes to get into shape.

>>39732262
>500lb squat ridiculed in gym
I don't know what to think anymore, this place has completely fucked my perception of strength

>>39732262
>500lb zercher squats
No
Nobody does zercher squats, they are literally THE most retarded exercise ever devised.
Sumo deadlifts with a weighted butt-plug would be less retarded than zercher squats.

>>39733627
what gym? this happen to me at planet fitness and for sure I said thank you and I finished my work out

>>39732298
Lol bro, I'm a former international D-1 unlimited weight class wrestler, have abs at 6'1" 240 lbs, worked as a bouncer, Did army ROTC in college turning it down for 70k finance job, and I zercher squat somewhere around 700 lbs. I grew up on base and boxed since I was 8. I've got the quickest hands I've ever seen in person from a non professional fighter, especially at my weight. If my gf wants to talk chit I'll let her do it to a point before pulling her away. If some guy gets in her face? I'm either gonna do the responsible thing and get the bouncer or pick him up and slam his phucking neck into the concrete.

What do you weigh… 190 lbs? Zercher squat maybe 495 lbsx8? Lol. You have no idea what it's like walking around as big and as strong as someone like me. First of all, 95% of men walk in fear of you, and 95% of the other 5% of men are just retarded.

Literally the last 3 altercations I've been in with other males ended with me giving them one back hand slap and knocking them to the ground (I'm terrified of hitting most men and either killing them or putting them into a coma)
Any type of altercation, verbal etc. whether it involves girls I know or guys I know just mildly amuse me as I know I can step in and regulate the situation in a split second if things get serious.

Take your tiny, wanna be, hard pretend phaggot ass elsewhere pussy.

>>39734711
>pretending this hard on the internet to strangers

>>39734711
New pasta boiz

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>>39734711
HOLY SHIT WE GOT A BAD ASS HERE GUYS

TELL ME MORE ABOUT YOUR ADVENTURES

>>39734711
(You)

>>39734711
what if you get shot lol

>>39734711
yummy pasta

I went to the gym once

>>39734711
We need to find a cure for autism already, because shit like this is getting old

>>39734711
>/fit/ everybody

>>39734907
abortion in 4th trimester and on is the only cure :(

>>39734711
>Lol bro, I'm a former international hitman, have abs at 6'4" 255 lbs, worked as a bouncer, Did army ROTC in college turning it down for 150k starting as a consultant to the military, and I zercher squat somewhere around 950lbs. I grew up on base and boxed since I was 4. I've got the quickest hands I've ever seen in person from a non professional fighter, especially at my weight. If my gf wants to talk chit I'll let her do it to a point before pulling her away. If some guy gets in her face? I'm either gonna do the responsible thing and get the bouncer or pick him up and slam his phucking neck into the concrete.
>What do you weigh… 190 lbs? Zercher squat maybe 495 lbsx8? Lol. You have no idea what it's like walking around as big and as strong as someone like me. First of all, 95% of men walk in fear of you, and 95% of the other 5% of men are just retarded.
>Literally the last 3 altercations I've been in with other males ended with me giving them one back hand slap and knocking them to the ground (I'm terrified of hitting most men and either killing them or putting them into a coma)
>Any type of altercation, verbal etc. whether it involves girls I know or guys I know just mildly amuse me as I know I can step in and regulate the situation in a split second if things get serious.
>Take your tiny, wanna be, hard pretend phaggot ass elsewhere pussy.

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>>39732262
>bad wrap

lol

>>39734711
new pasta

>>39734711
lmao can someone please modify this pasta into something else

>>39734511
Not pf, shitty local gym

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>get to gym
>cop cars out front
>head to locker room
>walk past two cops talking to a black early 20s guy
live near detroit but not in it, so ratio is like 1/5 black to non-black (which is anything, incl. white)
>hang up jacket, take a piss, head to treadmills for warm up jog
>cops have arrested kid, one is holding, other is digging through backpack
>while on treadmill, watch cops escort kid out to cruisers out front

asked around later, apparently he had like a 1/2lb of weed in his backpack.

>>39736120
nignogs... if you market in the gym, have have a liter of gear with you, not weed.

>>39732652
Good. Keep at it.

Also some nutritional advice:
Eat high calorie in the morning, high protein at noon and some soup for dinner.
Snack once every two hours (a powerbar or a sandwich, not burgers or sheet).
Stay active during the day.
Maybe try chopping wood in the countryside when you have the chance to.

>>39734711
woah fresh pasta

>>39733547
Every tendon in the elbow is sheared from the bone.
Heavy zercher squats are seriously not something you want to be doing regularly.

>>39734781
No, very old pasta modified slightly for this thread. Lurk moar.

>>39732262
>a few years ago in high school
>have the 80 lbs dumbbells out for shrugs (I was in a phase)
>do my 3x12
>time to put them back
>underestimated how sweaty my palms were
>slipped on the floor because the floor was some rubbery shit and the bowling shoes I use as gym shoes have 0 traction after years of use
>fall towards the dumbbell rack
>land one in its slot, squish my finger with the other
>pull it out and examine the damage
>the nail is split and I'm bleeding
>sigh and leave, end of my workout anyway
>next day
>bunch of underclassmen tell me how cool I was getting my hand crushed by such a heavy dumbbell and being calm about it

It wasn't all bad, I guess.

I like the cut of your gib OP.
https://youtu.be/UMLzxt0wqKQ

>>39734711
What he actually meant:

Lol, I'm a former registered sex offender for multiple accounts of soliciting sex from minors, have a stomach like Ralphie May 5' 8" 340lbs, worked as a cashier at Walmart for 5 months,got offered a job at KFC before turning it down and living on welfare, and I quarter squat somewhere around 120 lbs. I grew up in the suburbs and played video games since I was 8. I've got the quickest thumbs I've ever seen in person from a non professional gamer, especially at my weight. If some girl I think is cute looks at me I'll look back at her for a few seconds before walking away. If some guy gets in my face? I'm either gonna do the responsible thing and call the police or run away like a little bitch screaming for help.

What do you weigh… 250lbs, 7% bodyfat? Zercher squat maybe 700lbsx15? That's pretty impressive. I have no idea what it's like walking around as big and as strong as someone like you. First of all, 95% of men don't fear me and 95% of the other 5% of men are just retarded.

Literally the last 3 altercations I've been in with other males ended with me giving them head. (I'm terrified of what will happen if I don't blow somebody that wants to fight me)
Any type of altercation, verbal etc. whether it involves cheese burgers or video games gives me intense anxiety as I know I wouldn't be able to do jack shit against some of the most frail men in society.

Please don't hurt me.

>>39736983
TOPKEK

>>39732262
First time I heard of zercher. Why not do front squats instead?

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>>39736983

>>39734711
Lol, I'm 6'4 get on my level scrub haha manlet

>>39732262

>be me
>new to gym
>do a couple of sets on the leg-press machine
>still feeling alright so go for the squatting machine
>set 80kg since I know I've been able to do that before
>do a few but legs are wobbly
>start to lower it back down
>no idea how to lock it in its position
>just keep lowering, thinking it will click
>nope still dropping
>past the point my legs can hold it
>crushed down into a slav squat
>can't push it up
>look left, big guys busy watching themselves curl in front of a mirror
>look right, a few student-types using some fly machines and facing away
>a couple of guys seem to have not noticed, or are so embarrassed for me that they don't look up
>have to slide out of the side like a spastic
>try to lift it when I'm out and I can't
>look around, to make sure no one is looking
>leave the gym and never come back

I paid £145 for a year of not using the gym again.

And what brought me to here was that I just tried to do a push-up, after months of no exercise at all, and I couldn't do it. I'm so out of shape, it's not even funny any more.

>>39737137
what the fuck is wrong with you anon?
get the fuck back in there.
I've seen (and been of of those people many times) people failing in the squat rack.
it. happens.
deal with it, if you're failing its because you're pushing, it's called progression,
I've had people say to me "want to try actually lifting some weight?" just shrug it off and crack on you pussy.
instead of being butthurt because you failed once & now assume everyone gives a flying fuck about what you do in the gym
>pro-tip
they're there to get fit (or be absolute wankers on juice) & not to critique what you do in your work out.
>triggered

>>39734711
Navy seal /fit/ edition

>>39736956
this guy is fucking epic, always good watching this guy lift

>>39736983
> Literally the last 3 altercations I've been in with other males ended with me giving them head.

How /fit/'s fight fantasies always turn out

>>39737154

I'd really rather not pay another £145 just to realize again that I don't belong in a gym. I'm just not that sort of person.

>>39737173
enjoy giving up on doing things because they get a little difficult & then settle for making excuses.
have a nice day,

>>39737157
**/phit/

>>39737182

You don't need to try so hard, friend. This isn't me asking for intervention or anything. I just don't have any drive or desire to do what most people at a gym do.

>>39736983
>5' 8"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzb3TcC6zkM

>>39737201
That translates into life is the anons point.

>>39734406
>no cheese
I will fucking lazer you

>>39737225

But not all things are equally undesirable, nor are they equally applicable between people.

>>39736983
An accurate portrayal of all the guys on here who say they have some record breaking lifts but never have any proof of it

>>39734711
now that's high energy shit posting

>>39736983
This was simply beautiful, thank (you).

>>39734711
WITNESSED. HOLY SHIT HAHAHAHA. I hope this is real. I cannot tell this faggot how not scared of him i am. Come to indonesia sometime. I train in jakarta, bet i could fuck your stupid cunt ass up in less than 2mins.

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>>39734711

Lol bro here, what the fuck did you just say about me? Ill have you know I'm a former international D-1 unlimited weight class wrestler, have abs at 6'1" 240 lbs, worked as a bouncer, Did army ROTC in college turning it down for 70k finance job, and I zercher squat somewhere around 700 lbs. I grew up on base and boxed since I was 8. I've got the quickest hands I've ever seen in person from a non professional fighter, especially at my weight. If my gf wants to talk chit I'll let her do it to a point before pulling her away. If some guy gets in her face? I'm either gonna do the responsible thing and get the bouncer or pick him up and slam his phucking neck into the concrete.

What do you weigh… 190 lbs? Zercher squat maybe 495 lbsx8? Lol. You have no idea what it's like walking around as big and as strong as someone like me. First of all, 95% of men walk in fear of you, and 95% of the other 5% of men are just retarded.

Literally the last 3 altercations I've been in with other males ended with me giving them one back hand slap and knocking them to the ground (I'm terrified of hitting most men and either killing them or putting them into a coma)
Any type of altercation, verbal etc. whether it involves girls I know or guys I know just mildly amuse me as I know I can step in and regulate the situation in a split second if things get serious.

Take your tiny, wanna be, hard pretend phaggot ass elsewhere pussy.

P.s. when guys let me win in a fight i suck their nut vaccum style right to the tip of their cock till the bust. Free protein mu'fucker *flexs unironically*

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>>39734711
include me in the screencap

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I got some OC brehs, even though I'm sure this exact thing has happened many times before

> go to gym for back day, start off with some diddlies
> new gang of pajeets I've never seen there before enters the gym
> 4 guys, all wearing jeans and polo shirts, because of course pajeet
> they bring an ez bar from across the gym over to "dead lift area"
> take turns curling the bar and the lightest plates in the whole gym (like 3 lbs)
> sometimes switching up the curling with some cable, terrible form on everything
> Pajeets find bar someone used to diddly 220lbs before they got there
> all pajeets strap on belts, gloves, straps, everything they can find, no warmup needed
> struggle like hell with 220lbs, each do 1 rep with terrible form, my spine hurts a little just from seeing their form
> they proceed to take their shirts off and flex in the mirror while alternating who's taking pictures
> I'm approaching lmao3pl8 diddly, doing 300lbs 5x5
> Pajeet lanklet walks over to my platform, he tries to do the math in his head for a couple minutes
> gives up, "ayyo bruvv, how much is that you deadlifting?"
> reply "oh it's just 300lbs", lanky pajeet wants to give it a try, I gesture for him to go ahead
> Pajeet tightens his belt, fixes the straps and starts to pull
> pulling intensifies, Pajeet is shaking like hell, can almost hear his spine crunching
> bar did not move an inch
> chuckle a bit and bang out my last set
> Pajeets leave pretty fast, their total workout time was like 15 mins
> not gonna make anything

>>39734711
>all these replies to a modified copypasta
/fit/ is kill

>>39732298
hemingway pls go

>>39732262
>be me
>in uni gym
>be squating, feeling like lu xiapingpong
>see chad dumbell benching 90s
>after sets he throws them
>see his shaker with bcaa´s by his feet
>witness this.gif
>after 3rd set he throws dumbells on the shaker
>explosion.exe
>that day five dudes got covered in his bcaa´s

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>>39738086
>bragging about a 300 lb deadlift

i hope you're a turbo manlet

>>39740306
That's not chad
Chad only dubmbell benches 100+

>>39732652
lol, what a pathetic fucking faggot. If i were at that gym I would have laughed my ass off you fat little bitch boy

Go cry in the corner while i fuck yer mum

>>39740998
I hope he's a turbo skeleton lanklet, they're the only people who could have a little trouble with that.

>>39734711

If this isn't pasta, it needs to be.

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>>39732262
>diddlydoodling lmao 3pl8
>middle-aged guy comes up to me, starts talking
>real nice when there's so few people here don't you think
>yeah I guess, I always go in the evening I say
>he says "just as long as those 18 year olds stay away"
>mfw Im 18

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>>39734711
W I T N E S S E D

>>39734711

What the fuck did you just say to me?

>>39737321
Excuses excuses