/fph/

>>39707287
is that her butt? the fuck's going on there?

>>39707310
I don't know. The anatomical anomalies of the morbidly obese are both highly variable and highly perplexing.

>>39707310
>>39707337
Yeah it is. She sits in her chair all day, eventually her body starts to mold to it. Happens all the time in fatties.

>>39707287
>being able to stand is being """""""healthy""""""" to landwhales

>>39707337
This post made me laugh more than it should have. Pretty sure thats her back fat/love handles though.

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>>39707287

> she can walk

H E A L T H Y
E
A
L
T
H
Y

>be 11 years old mums side of the family is coming to stay for a week
>before they arrive mum warns little brother(6) not to say anything rude while they are here
>extended family arrives, mums brother walks in first carrying 2 suitcases.
>mums brother is in good shape, he's ex army and served with my dad (How he was introduced to mum)
>then in waddles the rest of the family
>aunt is huge probably weighs twice what my dad weighed and he was 6'3 and 230lbs back in those days
>3 cousins, 1 is really skinny, the other is a smaller version of his mum and girl cousin is just like a regular 11 year old girl
>skinny cousin is a year older than me and fat cousin is 14, they are staying in my room for the duration of their stay.
>day progresses and it's bedtime, fatty claims my bed because he needs it because he has a bad back apparently, I go to argue but mum gives me the look so I just keep my mouth shut and sleep in a sleeping bag
>next morning odd smell but just assume its fattys BO
>day goes by sitting in living room
>start discussing what we should do the next day, dad is suggesting things like hiking, adventure walks, swimming, things like that, aunt scoffs at all of them and is genuinely offended that my dad would suggest things like that.
>aunt actually said to my uncle "Why did you let that man marry your sister" uncle just sits in his chair looking depressed with his head in his hands sighing every so often
>dad is quite annoyed at this point, so asks what she wants to do, she said we were going to have a movie day and order takeout
>get sent to bed with all the other kids in the house, big argument erupts between my mum and aunt
>manage to fall asleep but wake up in middle of the night because of horrid stench, fatty must be farting in his sleep
>take sleeping bag and go sleep in twin sisters room

>>39707701

>next morning me my dad, uncle, all 3 sisters, little brother, skinny cousin, girl cousin and mum all go out for a hike and then wenton an adventure trail like the one in the tree tops.
>arrive home at 8pm had agreed with aunt that we'd all get takeout for dinner
>walk in front door, house reeks little brother feels sick
>investigate the smell, they had blocked 3 of our toilets with shit that didn't look like it could come from a human
>girl cousin starts crying from embarrassment, uncle is fuming and skinny cousin looks like he wants to cry
>manage to keep down food and immediately go to bed in sisters room
>next day playing rugby with skinny cousin, twin sis and both dads
>after game skinny starts talking to me asking why I don't get out of breath (did cross country when I was younger)
>start talking to skinny about cross country after I leave to get a drink,fatty comes over and starts picking on skinny
>from kitchen window see fatty punch skinny to the ground and start kicking him(skinny had called him a fat loser apparently)
>I ran out from kitchen and punched fatty in the cheek(softest thing I've ever felt in my life)
>fatty starts crying, a bit like cartman in south park, despite only receiving a fairly week punch from a kid 3 years younger than him

cont

>>39707725

>don't get in much trouble but aunt scowls at me all of dinner until
>based little brother who has been on his best behaviour all week is just to curious about these supposed humans and just turns to my aunt and asks in his innocent little 6 year old voice, "Why are you that big?"
>aunt loses her shit starts screaming at my little brother swearing at him and everything through a handful of her food(pasta bake) at him (which missed but the intent was there)
>dad goes full Sgt Major mode puts on the voice and everything. Scolds my aunt fiercely for shouting at a 6 year old like that. Aunt just sits opened mouthed staring at my dad then turns to uncle and asks if he's gonna let my dad speak to her like that to which uncle just replied yes.
>all kids go to bed
>next morning they all leave
>inspect room which smells fowl
>find shit encrusted mattress thanks to fatty
>my room needs new everything
>year later uncle finaly divorces aunt
>1 year later gets custody of the kids
>they move in with us
>fatty is 16 now and still a useless shithead
>other 2 are fine skinny actually ended up surpassing me at cross country when I switched my focus to rugby and swimming
>after 2 years with us and my dads strict rule fatty became less fatty but still a shithead
>skinny became a bro and joined the RAF

So yea fat people were the reason for the worst week of my childhood.

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>>39707734
>>39707725
>>39707701

I love a happy ending

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really makes u ponder

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jWvDIWQdzjA&t=0s

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>>39707287
>men would catcall me in my mobility scooter

THIS IS SATIRE

L A D S
A
D
S

This thread on /adv/ is an absolute goldmine

>>>/adv/17850577

The delusion is off the charts

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>>39707734
>>39707725
>>39707701

When I was a fatty I wasn't that much of an ingrate thankfully.

After my dad was thrown in prison his toxic influence stopped and I lost the weight.

Great story anon.

>>39707287
>Astronomical masses collide.

Black hole incoming.

>>39707254
Do you folks think there is a correlation between obesity and IQ?

I have noticed that most fat people are pretty stupid. That's anecdotal.

>>39707816
When did body positivity come to 4chins?

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>>39708010
It's just delusion. Cognitive dissonance.

Fattie train of thought:
>I'm fat. (Fact).
>Therefore, fat should be good, else I wouldn't be fat. (Delusion).
"Being fat is bad"
>No, if fat was bad, I wouldn't be fat.
or
>Maybe, but I am fat because I can't not be fat. (Defense mechanism)

This thread legit made me go for a run at 11pm at night. I want to make it. I want it soo bad.

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>tfw no fatty genderfluid xirlfriend

>>39708230
We're all gonna make it.

>>39707993
Legitimately made me laugh.

>>39708010
>>39708041
>Do you folks think there is a correlation between obesity and IQ?
IQ alone? Probably a small correlation as people with higher IQ's are going to sift through more information than others so they might have a better chance at learning about fitness and therefore more knowledgeable about the benefits.

I'd expect wealth to have a much stronger correlation, and wealth affects IQ as well so you'd definitely see that there are more fit people among high IQ only because wealth affects both.

Get it? Wealthy people will have higher IQ AND be more fit, so then when you look at IQ you see more fit people, but the wealth was really what determined who is fit or not.

>>39708361
why.
just why.

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>>39708010
There objectively is a correlation, but it's possible that they're both caused by a third factor (e.g. wealth)

>>39708361
I remember I used to this she was inhumanly big
Now I see dozens of them every time I go to Walmart

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>>39707734
After so many bad endings, a happy one is always good to see.

>>39707734
Your Dad's alpha as fuck

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>>39707802
>at the grocery store
>massive whale on a scooter
>damn that one fatass bitch
>whistle at the sheer size of her
>tfw she thinks I cat called her
>she gurgles something about the patriarchy and scoots away

I've read enough of these threads, guess I should contribute one of mine

pt 1/2

>be me, 22, bretty fit 6' even 190lb
>get drunk as shit, hook up with random 6/10
>this isn't about her
>wind up breaking my drunk ass dick
>blood drains to my scrotum, gets infected
>two weeks off work, lortab, and vidya since it hurts so bad to stand
>need to go grocery shopping, too much of a jew to give roommate money, have him take me with
>go to Wal-Mart, he drops me off at the front
>hadn't taken painkillers, hurts so damn bad to stand
>begin limping in looking for a place to sit
>find mobility scooter
>hop in, reach around and unplug, check battery
>100% fuckyeah.png
>pull out, manage to grab a cart, go to wait for my roommate to get in (we were in my truck, made him park it at the far end of the lot)
>somebody left a tarp covered pallet of fertilizer from the garden center right in my way
>"EXCUSE ME"
>realize there is a bag of McDonald's attached to the pallet
>holyshititsalive
>"I NEED THAT CART"
>using caps because the pallet monster was that loud
>Sorry, I do too, and I was here first, so...
>"GIBE ME DAT CART"
>Sorry ma'am, you're gonna have to wait for someone else to finish
>Fertilizer beast grabs the cart by the basket and tries to tip it and me over
>Instinctively put out a foot to catch myself
>fresh wave of pain shoots through me
>slam my weight to the opposite side, forcing the cart back down
>yelling now "What the fuck is wrong with you, you crazy bitch"
>as if on cue, the planet's binary moon orbits within view. The door greeter also apparently called a CSM over. My roommate also just walked in
>have both pallet monsters screaming at me to get up and leave, how dare I talk to her mother like that, etc
>oh shit, I'm about to be on Cops (and probably World's Dumbest) over a scooter
>roomie's just standing there, dumbfounded by what he is witnessing

cont'd

>>39708502
>Great American Romance.jpg

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>>39708482
continue, I'm kekn

>>39708426
How can someone sound so smart yet be so dumb?

>>39708482

pt 2/2

>CSM breaks everything up, quiets the beasts, asks what the problem is
>pain has subsided, I'm calmer
>"HE won't get out of MY cart"
>"Sir, you need to let this woman-"
>Whoa bud, slow your roll, I was here first
>"I was gonna get it, I NEED that CART"
>moon pipes up
>"My mom has a medical condition and has to have that cart"
>brief moment of muh condishun by both of them
>this is 2006, there is no /fit/, or fph, so not really appreciating the humor
>just noticing that the pallet monster has been standing there screaming longer than I'm currently able to stand
>"Sir, unless you have a legitimate need for the scooter, I'm going to ask that you let this woman use it"
>Oh I do
>Moon: "Bullshit, there's nothing wrong with you"
>CSM looks at me expectantly
>I have scrotal sepsis secondary to scrotal trauma caused by a ruptured corpus cavernosum
>or something like that... pretty much just repeated the technical jargon the doctor wrote on my paperwork
>wuts all around
>Looking right into the CSM's eyes, tell him in english, "I broke my dick and it caused an infection. I can't stand without being in severe pain"
>CSM: "Oh....um....sorry about the trouble, sir. Ma'am, I'm sorry but-"
>Pallet Monster: "That's bullshit! I've never heard of that! He needs to GIVE ME MY CART"
>Me: Yeah, I'm not surprised. It mostly happens during sex
>Roommate finally chips in as he walks up and grabs the cart I had pulled out
>"Yeah, I kinda get the feeling that's not something you know a lot about"
>full scale planet quake, the likes of which makes Mars seem like a pretty chill place
>fatties rage

cont'd

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>>39707787
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=374U7z4s9fM

>>39708656

pt 3/2

>Roomie tells me let's go
>fatties grab the cart again
>CSM has flipped script at this point, tells the fatties plainly and loudly and they will wait, and that he will call the cops if they continue to assault other customers
>Pallet monster continues to scream and threaten on her way to the bench. Gonna call the home office and report them, gonna make me pay, never gonna shop here again, etc etc
>Been sweating for a while at this point
>Sits and opens her McDonalds bag, pulls out a burger
>While eating it, digs out a napkin to staunch the flow of sweat
>It dawns on me
>This bitch got food to eat while she shopped
>And that's not a small bag
>She was probably gonna get more when she was done
>She probably ate before arriving
>Me and roommate did our shopping
>the binary system was still sitting there while we checked out and paid, giving us glares
>the McDonalds bag was gone
>take the mobility scooter to the far end of the parking lot where my truck is, leave it there
>no fucks given

end

It occured to me later that it's funny that if you're anywhere near /fit/ looking, you have to explicitly justify why you may need some aid or another, but if you're fat you don't even have to screech 'muh condishun'

Is that fat privilege?

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>>39708426
how can someone so """""""""""""""""smart""""""""""""""""" be willingly blind to something so simple ?

>>39708647
Narcissistic personality disorder is how.

The guy is so deep in it that he gathered his own little cult, and regularly scams the shit out of them.
His latest scam was claiming that if they don't contribute to AI research (by donating to him), future AI overlords will create a perfect copy of them to torture, and you wouldn't want that on your conscience, would you? ;^)

>>39708661
mirin calves

>>39708661

Fucking dammit I give up.

I've been watching Boogie for fucking years.

He's still 'proud' of the 10lbs he lost like 5 years ago, jesus fuck this guy needs to get it the fuck together.

>>39707552

I don't understand. I have taken three years of anatomy. What am I looking at, exactly? Someone please... I'm lost and scared.

>>39707310
No i think it's her lower back fat hanging over her underwear.

>>39708720
Dirty Bulks done dirt cheap, my friend.

>>39708693
He was not the creator of the basilisk, and is so spergy about it that he tried to scrub all talk of it from his various sites.

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>>39708502

>>39708661
but how?

>>39708763
I'm aware of the basilisk concept, but where he comes in is where he tried to sell it as a certainty that could only be averted by donating to him.

Given that the idea states that the hypothetical overlord wouldn't target people that helped AI research, it's absurd to think they'd be targets unless the only way it viewed help was via monetary aid.
Also, his "research" facilities put out less papers than fucking diploma mills, so any AI worth the name would realise he's a worthless parasite and torture the shit out of his double.

>>39708392

child abuse

porking up children is child abuse. yelling and screaming and berating children, as fatties are wont to do, is child abuse.

>>39708661
It looks like fucking meat pants. Dear god. I can't fucking look at this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQyEVMuCpnc

>>39708408
I don't know why this triggered me so hard, but it did

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>>39708817

>>39708951
THAT FUCKING HORSE LOOKS. TIPSY WTF

>>39707734
>>39707725
>>39707701
Can someone cap this for posterity? I like a good ending.

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>>39708502
This is so fucking depressing.

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>>39708662
>Is that fat privilege?

Yes. Now cap your story, it's good and I'm lazy.

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>>39708482
>>39708656
>>39708662
>Broken dick.

Fuggin kek, you're not done story time until you tell us how you managed that. I was really hoping the story would end with you having to show them your fucked up pic related ballsack, but i'll take what i can get

>>39708951

borderline anim cruelty

>>39708361
Okay sports fans. Let's take a brief moment and think about the 92.4lbs Chinese woman that made the pair of "underwear" being worn in this video.

>>39708426
>I mean that their theoretical and pragmatic efficacy is not subject to revocation by quirks of metabolic disprivilege.
Why the hell would you describe such simple ideas with this type of language, if not to feign intelligence? Disprivilage isn't even a fucking word.

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>>39709049
>borderline
More like full on. Mother fuckers.

>be skeleton
>love eating pizza, burgere, tacos, cakes
>mom is fatty
>keeps buying all these random fruits and shit
>still can't lose weight
>yells at me for not wanting to replace pizza with fruits
Why do fatties need to ruin my eating environment
Doesn't matter who pays for it the fridge can't hold pizza and shitty fruits

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>>39709040
there, capped my own story

>>39709043
More story time inc

>>39708244

I think I know that person. Is that Del?

>>39708951
I want to rip her off of that poor animal.
Makin me rage a bit.

>>39707287
Why does it look like she's giving someone a piggyback ride under the dress?

>>39709043

Here goes:

>be me, 22
>just got off work, weekend ahead, go to local hotel bar, since I know the staff there
>meet girl, 6/10
>could tell she used to be hot, but early alcoholism was starting to take it's toll
>talk, get drunk
>6/10 turns into 9/10itsokay.ign
>go back to my place
>proceed to fuck like we haven't been laid in years
>have the good kind of whiskey dick where I get hard but can't get off, pornstar mode activated
>mentioning again that I'm shitfaced
>somewhere around an hour in, accidentally pull out too much, thrust back in misses
>notice a sharp pain
>notthatbad.gif
>keep fucking
>little later, notice I'm starting to get soft
>mental gymnastics activated, trying as hard as I can, almost there
>finally get off, almost immediately go flacid
>go to bathroom to clean up while she's recovering
>notice my scrotum is yuuuge
>like the size of a grapefruit
>think to myself that I gotta quit drinking so much
>lay down with 9/10

contd

>>39708030
It's the thick meme fags that don't know what thick means paired with wimmin since /adv/ has like the second or third highest female userbase on this site.

>>39709112
Being skinny is no excuse to eat like a slob.

>>39709208

contd

>wake up with 6/10
>sack is still swollen
>was really hoping that I was just drunk and imagined it
>take her back to her car
>go back home
>decide I should probably see a doctor
>can only wear scrub pants at this point
>go, embarrassed as I'm telling the 7/10 receptionist the nature of my visit
>see doctor, show him what's going on
>he calls another doctor in
>they tell me that I ruptured one of the major blood vessels in my dick from that missed thrust (the corpus cavernosum)
>talking amongst themselves
>"patient presents with severe scrotal swelling, as well minor to moderate penile swelling; likely from reported penile trauma"
>look down
>Hey doc, there's no penile swelling, that's what it normally looks like
>"Really?" cocked eyebrow
>feel like a boss for a brief moment until I remember where I am and what I'm there for
>tell me I should have gone to the ER as soon as I noticed, they would have drained all the blood that pooled up in my scrotum
>tell me there's nothing to do now except wait for it to heal, and wear tight underwear
>tells me I better hope I don't get an infection from all the blood pooled up in my scrotum
>sends me home with a note for a few days off work

end of that part
should I cont with the infection, or are you happy?

>>39709043
and yeah I was ready to whip it all out for them if they kept trying to call bullshit. I'd take the arrest, then sue for the ordeal just so Wal-Mart can pay me an out of court settlement

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>>39707254
I love this story so much I read it every time.

>>39709245
Continue. Only reason why I'm lurking

>>39708502
I would watch this movie with friends

>>39709320

alright, contd

>ask doc about potential infection
>he explains how I have a volume of blood pooled up somewhere it's not supposed to be, and how it's a race at this point as to whether my body will reabsorb the blood before sepsis sets in
>go home
>day later wake up, get out of bed
>nothing but pain
>hard spot in my scrotum
>not on, in
>back to the doctor, limping
>same 7/10 receptionist
>doesn't even ask the nature of my visit this time
>get referred to an urologist
>they decide to do an urethra retrograde x-ray

I don't know if you ever heard of those, but motherfucker...
>insert catheter
>inflate at the end of my urethra (rather than in the bladder
>fill urethra and bladder with dye
>x-ray
>felt like my insides were boiling
>second time in my life I ever made a sound during a medical procedure
>nurse had a bucket ready for when they pulled the catheter out
>still pissed on the table
>doc let me know that it was gonna REALLY hurt to pee for the next day or so
>results are in, no leaks
>go back to primary
>primary wants a urine sample
>thankfully he changes his mind when I explain what happened with the urologist
>get prescribed antibiotics and painkillers
>get leave from work extended to two weeks
>still worth it as I can now tell people I broke my dick

short work story inc

>>39709386

>call in to work to let them know I'm gonna be out for two weeks
>already took the first dose of painkillers (lortab 10mg)
>high as fuck
>tell the shift coordinator in detail what happened to me
>spend the next tell fielding calls from coworkers since coordinator told fucking everybody at the facility

bonus:
>get back to work
>coworkers ask if my shit still works
>I say yeah but it still hurts like hell if I get hard
>spend the next week or so with hot af coworkers trying to get me hard
>lapdances, flashes, etc
>betterthanexpected

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>>39708961
Its having to compensate for the weight shifting due to her fat, try to imagine walking while hauling a huge sack of water on your shoulders

>>39709406
Ayyyeee

That's the ending I was hoping for
10/10 would read again

>>39709102
Of all the words fat people use to pretend they're not disgusting, fluffy is the worst.

>>39708244
Her body looks like it is trying to be a fluid

>>39707287
this has to be a troll. my sides are in orbit nonetheless

>>39709406
haha good lad

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>>39709010

/fit/ I'm looking for an image of something along the lines of a "Dear Abby" where a fat woman is mad that all your her former fat friends were no longer loud. It's always being posted in these threads. Pls help.

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>>39707287
My alcoholic grandpa can stand too, but he isn't healthy
Where do fat people pull this shit from?

>>39708426
>metabolic disprivilege

lel

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>>39709192
I was just about to post this

>>39708647
Narcissist probably. I would know, I'm the son of one.

Smartest person I know (of course I would have my narcissistic dad idolatrized), but he often gets that intelligence of his to justify the most stupid shit imaginable.

Intelligence is not a cure to all your problems.

>>39708041

That's not cognitive dissonance.

t. Cognitive linguist.

>>39709682
This makes me sad. This is what you would hear if you could hear a jealou pack of dogs at the park, or what a bunch of 5 year olds would say.

These people are little more than talking animals.

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>>39709102
>cat
>fat
wat

>>39710123
THANK YOU

I always get triggered when people use that term without knowing what it means. And you don't even need to be a cognitive linguist to know, it's on fucking wikipedia.

t. Regular linguist

>>39710123
>>39710165
>t.
Is that a new meme I missed out on?

>>39709693
Yeah that never happened, it worries me the amount of shit I see posted when it's clearly fake and not funny at all

>>39710172
>new
Only new thing here is you

>>39708781
He stubbed his toe once. Because he's a major fat fuck with poor circulation and refused to seek treatment it went septic, he underwent some serious antibiotic cures (supposedly costing in excess of $100k) and is now very proud they didn't amputate his leg even though he clearly would have been better off without both the leg and the crippling debt because he isn't planning on using it anyway.

>>39710180
>don't know every meme
>faggot assumes I'm new
kys

>Have fat as fuck hambeast for a flatmate
>she used to be human sized at some point but a deadly mix of shit diet + SSRIs + tumblr + mental illnesses turned her into Jabba
>Princess Cholesterol does zumba so she thinks it's okay to eat 1530 cal worth of biscuits as a ''treat''
>constantly telling me she carries her weight well and that i have lucky small boned genetics
>walks around the house in the nastiest skankiest outfits possible
>saw me at the gym once and congratulated me for doing energy weight work outs (wat?)
>skelly bf staying over for a few weeks
>Princess cholesterol thinks he's not repulsed by her and tells me she feels uncomfortable showering while he's here

Why are fat women so delusional? Fat men usually wake up and try to better themselves from what I've seen at least, the fat acceptance movement is mostly women.

>>39708392
But wealth and IQ are strongly correlated as well

The question then becomes 'are fat people stupid or do stupid people become fat?'

I think it's both

>>39710157
That's a cool cat.

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I have never in my life met a morbidly obese person. Occasionally I encountered fat people pushing the boundaries.
Are morbidly obese people an america exclusive thing?

>>39710228
Poor people can't afford to eat well or educate themselves. Poor people become fat, stupid, and sometimes both.

>>39708647
>Complicated words make you smart
Einstein didn't talk like a pretentious dickhead. Only people who are slightly above average intelligence and feel insecure about that talk like this.

>>39707287
>Morbidly obese
>morbidly
>healthy

yeah not sure about that

>>39710402

indeed, I don't know who said it but this is a quote I really like

>you only really understand something if you can explain it to your grandmother

>>39710494
Pretty sure that was Einsteins quote. Special relativity would be hard enough to explain without sounding like a thesaurus.

>>39707701
>>take sleeping bag and go sleep in twin sisters room
Could've turned into wincest right here

>>39709693
I actually vomited reading that. Thanks.

>>39708662
someone needs to cap this shit.. not me, I'm mobilefagglet

>>39708951
weighted cardio

>>39710583

see >>39709163
for the first half, nobody capped the second half

>>39708445
Yea I guess 30 years in the Army will do that to you.

He's the reason I joined.

Also thank him everyday for blessing me with his height genes, I'm 6'4, little brother takes after mum and is 5'10 same as twin sister

>>39710892
You have two sets of twins in the family?

>>39710892
did u ever experiment with your twin?

be honest lad

>>39710402
Most people like that are aresholes.

But i often end up talking like that just because i'm probably a little autismo, and have the need to use the word that means exactly what i'm trying to get across.
When you try turn some 'complicated' words into normal speech you often lose part of the meaning, or end up giving the wrong idea to people.

As said, am a bit autismo

>>39710899
Yea me and my sister are the oldest

Then there's two girls, 2 years younger than me

Little brother is the only sibling not to have a twin

My twin is the one that is 5'10, others are like 5'4 like mum.

>>39710904
Yea

>>39710915
Fug, you described it exactly

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>>39710919
>Yea
Elaborate.

>>39710156
You hear that every day right here on this board in CBT threads you dipshit.

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>>39708951
This makes me angrier than it should. I don't even like horses.

>>39707287
Fat privilege is having another set of ass cheeks

>>39709386

no keeping you as an inpatient seems horribly irresponsible

>>39710222

probably cause men get told as kids to
>get on with shit
>be a man
>men don't cry
etc etc
girls get comforted and then throw a shitfit when the real world doesn't want to adapt to their bullshit

>>39710975
Started when we were 15, did pretty much everything in the book.

Not much happens now because I'm away a lot

>>39707287
KEK
E
K

>>39711126

if you think you're leaving without green texting then you have another thing coming

>>39707734

> be 11 years old mums side of the family is coming to stay for a week

> skinny cousin is a year older than me and fat cousin is 14,

> fatty is 16 now and still a useless shithead

So you're 13

>>39710925
I love /fit/ because you guys seems as semi-autistic as i am.
Ain't found many of us out there, but i guess we ain't the type to meet others.

Also - Learning a language when you're older really makes you think about what you're saying more, as different languages have different conventions on the use of words.

>>39711146
I was 13 when they moved in with us full time

I am now 23

>>39711153
Kek, you ever use words from different languages when you are talking because they are more fit to what you have in mind?

>>39710919
>>39711126
greentext please

how did it start?

>>39711188
not same guy, but i do that all the time

>Renting out rooms
>Cousin decides to move in
>Aightsweet
>He recommends two other people, Kim and Niki.
>Kim is a qt patootie that just stayed in her room every day
>Would hear her rage all at vidya
>Myheart.
>The other gal
>Pretty sure related to jabba the hut
>Fat face, layers of makeup
>Rolls spilling everywhere
>Would get some shitty tattoo every week or so
>Cousin was really cool with her for some reason though and I needed the cash so I let her stay after the trial period since there weren't any other offers coming up
>About four months in hamplanet gets comfy
>Everyday there would be mountains of fast food bags, takeout, frozen entrees littering the living room, kitchen counters etc
>Thought it was my cousin first, get on his ass about
>Tells me it ain't him
>Jabba says it ain't her
>Kim didn't use the kitchen and just cooked in her room. Had some slow cooker/ricecooker/portable kitchen thing going on.
>Pretty annoyed at this point, know it's Jabba. Tell her to clean her shit up
>She bitches but finally starts clearing up her trash
>Everything's okay for a few days before I flip my shit again
>I start finding the crustiest, shit-stained faded underwear I've ever seen in the laundry just chilling there for days on end
>They're huge, so guess whose they are?
>Yep, the gross mini planet
>Throw em out
>Install lock and key to the laundry room
>Give only to Kim and Cousin
>Fuck her
>Anyhow, apparently Nikki (jabba) had a bf, he comes over sometimes. Wimpiest looking faggot I've seen
>They get into screaming matches, people are trying to sleep.
>Go knock on the door
>She opens
>Trash, trash everywhere
>Dirty underwear (again) old food plates, bottles, cups. The floor is barely visible.
>It fucking smells too
>Her bf is literally sitting in a corner with a bunch of stuff around him I'm assuming she threw at him
>Tell her to shut up
>She starts screaming at me.
>At this point, I'm just done.
>Tell her I'm kicking her out
cont'd next post

>>39711188
Not him but fuck yes I do haha

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>>39711175
>those dark circles arround his eyes
Remember to sleep properly bros, sleep is important for your gains and the general well being of your body.

>>39708683
We have an entire generation of bright young men who are throwing their common sense away in the name of social justice cred. It's been happening for years.

>>39710222
check'd

>>39708714
so 5 years ago he took an extra shit? wow, what an accomplishment.

>>39711175

rippetoe claims another victim

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>>39711214
>mfw thats what happens when you try to bulk without enough sleep for building muscle

>>39711188

No, because any one that isn't more than 12.5% autistic is gonna realise not everyone is bi lingual

you'll just end up having to define the word in your native language anyway

>>39711202
hurry faggot I've got class soon

>>39711188
Occasionally, but mostly from languages i don't even really speak.

I had a bad phase after doing a lot of Shrooms and learning Esperanto where i'd string 3 or 4 words together with the 'o'

i.e FlugantoHemeloMan
flying (esperanto) Sky (Dutch) Man = Cosmonaut

And i sometimes laugh when i hear people say 'Nuke'
Neuke = Fuck

Duke Nuke'em

>>39711280
>>39711188
And have yet to find a word that equals the russian Nichevo

Nichevo = "meh" kinda....

>>39711202
where did you go bitch

>>39711202
>Starts crying, blubbering and saying not to blah blah
>Cousin comes and checks with the ruckus is all about
>Tells me he'll pay me extra if I let her stay
>Extra dosh but still. Fuckyoufaggot.jpg
>She stops inviting bf over
>Instead has friends over now all the time
>Come home to a fucking family of whales just chilling on my counter
>Ate my food
>Confront Nikki about it
>"But I pay rent and it's not like you were gonna eat it anyway, they've been there a week teehee"
>Fuckthiscunt
>Make my cousin pay me even more
>During this time though Kim and I have gotten pretty close
>It's like having a best bro except she's 5'1, 120 pounds and sounds like a chipmunk
>As a result, I genuinely feel super protective of her.
>Kim starts getting out more (turns out she had a medical condition and it caused her to basically be homebound 90% of the time)
>Nikki starts getting jealous, starts making passive aggressive comments towards Kim any time she sees her
>Kim usually just brushes it off and ignores but one day got super pissed when Nikki ate some of the food she had prepared for me
>Starts fucking with nikki and putting that medicine that makes people shit a lot into any of her food she can, gets into her room and takes all these stupid shirts nikki loves to wear usually shit like "Im fat and fabulous crop tops" etc
>Nikki finally gets a wind of it, actually ends up trying to physically assault Kim
>Iainthavingthat
>I'm a pretty big guy, 6'4 bear mode.
>Nikki is around 5'6 and pushing 400
>Felt like my ribs were cracked for a moment when I blocked her path to kim
>Meanwhile Kim is calling the police
>Cousin starts getting worried
>Ask him why tf he is he sticking up for someone like Nikki
>Finally blurts out that he was getting sum from her and she would let him do anything to her
>Fucking hell man. Why.
>Anyway, police come. Take her away, don't press charges. Just basically have cousin my debt.
>Kim and I are now married.

>>39711292
nice ending

what illness did your wife have?

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>>39707254

>>39711292
>tfw no qtpatootie to play vidya with
You're living the life you bearmode faggot, keep up the good work

>>39711315
maybe she had that CCD disorder I saw on the news

>>39710304

Library cards are free.
Low speed internet is cheap, that's all you need to read text pages.

The only expensive things about knowledge are tutoring and post secondary.

>>39711327
gotta admit i laughed at every word

thanks for the abs gains

>>39711315
That's the only good thing that came out of it, cousin is still a dumbass but at least I met my future wife.

And she had a mixture of a bacteria screwing up her stomach when she was younger, then a virus finishing the job which led to overall malabsortion, chronic weakness/pain and malnutrition.

>>39711328
Thx senpai. Hope you find yours desu

>>39711327
ur a cunt m8

>>39711343
Was your girl on House?

>>39711327
have to save my mother

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>>39708361
That file name

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>>39711327

>>39711175
>10lbs
There are untrained girls who can throw around those weights.

>>39711327
faggot

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>>39707287

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>>39711175
>youngfatelvis.tumblr.com

does anyone have the greentext of the couple going on vacation. the girlfriend was paralyzed from the waist down. they were going on a trip with some hamplanet and near the end of the story, the hamplanet stabbed the girlfriend in her leg to see if she wasn't "faking" it. girlfriend starts bleeding super fucking bad and crying, hamplanet gets arrested.

that's all i remember, but it had a really good buildup and stuff.

>>39711327
thats just fubar mate

>>39708951
Wow this pisses me off. The owners should have their horse confiscated for that.

>>39711327
y

>>39710259

No, they occur in Mexico, Australia, and the UK as well.

>>39711521
hearty keks were had

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>>39711568
30 seconds on Google, mate.

>>39711696
thanks man.

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>>39711327

>>39711327
THICC

>>39711327
Fuck you

>>39711327
That fat cow is fucking abhorrent

>>39711327
Isn't that Tess Holiday? I feel so bad for her children

>>39711923
I actually thought her last name was monster for quite a while.

Anyway I'm surprised she was able to reproduce. I know some /fit/izen females that can't even have children due to both having a birth defect that screwed up their wombs.

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/fit/ btfo

>>39711940
I thought people were making a high test monster joke when I first heard the name Tess Munster

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>>39707816
what is that fucking thread jesus

>>39710222
There are plenty of delusional male hambeasts, you dont get out often. Had one at the last place i worked, was fatter and more obnoxious than any female there
>>39711110
Lol i never was comforted when i cried as a child. Mom and sister would tell me 6o suck it up and/or flat out ignore me. Sister would actually be more active with it and call me a fat crybaby etc. Youre obviously talking out of your ass and making assumptions

>>39709227
>eat like a slob
If i ate like a slob i would be obese
There's nothing superior about cutting pizza out of your life

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>>39711126
awaiting greentext

>>39711327
Kek

>>39710402
>if you takk slightly above slang and ebonics everyone and their mother tells you to stop acting like a smartass, says they understand what you're saying but you're "just trying to sound smart" and tries to convince you they're not stupid.

I'm sure Einstein didn't talk like a retard either. Used terms where they needed to be. But you know what the dictionary is filled with thousands of words, there is no excuse for anybody to dislike it when others utilize those words.

Why people shut down the use of more advanced vocabulary or diction is beyond me. That being said I had quite a fair share if highly intelligent friends who weeded out who they'd really get along with by the way they choose to speak. I'm not saying we spoke over the top or made things arbitrarily complicated, but even our sense of humor came out differently from the typical: "YOO DEY GOT SMOKED" type of buffoonery in my neighborhood and school.

I sure don't judge people entirely based on their choice of words, but when people get mad for someone using a 5th grade level word and then calling it some big smart word makes me wanna knock out a nigga.

>>39711327
mommy no

>>39707287
>catcall
>mobility scooter buying grocies

>>39708647
They don't sound smart, they sound like every dumbass teenager who studies the thesaurus because they think it makes them sound smart

>>39712214
>Why people shut down the use of more advanced vocabulary or diction is beyond me

Language needs to be fluid and concise, if you can pull that off with big-boy words - then go for it. But there are plenty of assholes that use 3rd grade grammar, style and prose with college level words- it just sounds grating.

>>39708714

this is why I am glad the U.S. doesn't have a full universal healthcare

it's because of fat shits like him

but nevertheless driving up the premiums of normal people is bad enough already, thanks Obongo!!!

>>39711175
Dear god, it's the captain from WALL-E.

>>39712256
>like every dumbass teenager who studies the thesaurus because they think it makes them sound smart
Is this something that people do?

>>39712329
Language is easily more fluid and concise when people don't repeat the words like, um, things, and stuff. My point is any deviation gets shot down no matter how concise it is. People are far more insecure about not "being a winner too" then they are about their choice of words. Bring everybody down to your level and you get things like fat acceptance and lgbtqgfhwi

Anybody can tell the difference between someone who, as I said before, puts "large" words together to sound smart and actually usuing them effeciently. Both get shut down anyways.

>>39710304
>Poor people can't afford to eat well
Odd, they clearly can afford to eat more calories than they burn, so poverty can't be the issue.

>>39712256
Ironically enough this is what feminists have done and shout things like bigot and ableist.
I had no idea the word ableist existed until femenism. Of course once I learned their meanings I realized they used those words incorrectly.

>>39711879
KEEEKKKKKKK LANDWHALE DETECTED

what makes you think you deserve any respect or to be treated as a human being

>>39712214

This story I know. Everyone jumps on black nerds because they hang around with the white nerds but guess what, I'm having a better time with people that can articulate on my level instead of hearing YO WHY U GOTTA B A OREO DAWG U AIN BETTA DEN US IS and randomly having to get in a fight for no fucking reason.

It's worse when you're /fit/ because there's a very particular and annoying black gym culture you have to conform to as well as walking around and having old people automatically act like you're Godzilla with a fade

>>39711175
I have those same exact dumbbells from Fatmart. I bought then I was an idiot about fitness and nutrition.

>>39711142
>>39711194
>>39712181

>15 easily best looking and most confident guy at school
>always pull at the house parties
>sister is quite shy
>one night after a party she came into my room and asked what it was like to be kissed
>awkwardly talked about it for a few minutes
>one thing led to another and she asked me to kiss her
>just so she could see what it was like
>that was the first thing we ever did in that way

Will that do?

>have fat ass coworker
>Sits kiddy corner to me so she's always in my field of vision
>Hear her taking to another moon one day
>"Tryin to lose weight blah blah"
>Ears perk up
>Turns out she bought into the Lipozene meme
>Chases her pill with a pepsi and a little Debbie snack cake swear to god
>Beginning of this week see she's now wearing ma Fitbit meme
>Laugh internally
>Only steps it registers is her walk to the curb and back for smoke breaks lol

>>39708272

>wealth affects IQ

Other way around, buddy.

>inb4 muh inequality

>>39708662
>Is that fat privilege?
it's america

>>39712479
The overly verbose are usually just using 10 dollar words for 5 cent ideas.

>>39712604
No

>>39712661
>Denying inequality is a problem.

It may be comforting to believe this but it's just a complete rejection of empiricism.

>>39712604
No

>Hey doc, there's no penile swelling, that's what it normally looks like
alpha as fuck

>>39712604
>hmm these guys are asking for stories about when I fooled around with my twin sister
>I know, I'll tell them them about when I kissed her, surely that will be enough

go fuck yourself, again

>>39712700
>everybody is equal

>>39712700
>Denying inequality is a problem
Is it?

>>39707802
>>39712239

She got so fat even her ears are full of fat logic

>>39709682
Women flame blasting women, fucking basic.

>>39711175
>/plg/ in a nutshell

>>39710304
>Poor people can't afford to eat wel
Wrong. Poor people are stupid and get fast food every day, which not only makes them poor but also fat.
You see it all the time, they claim it's cheaper to buy fast food than to make dinner themselves.

>>39711327
kek'd

>>39709406
the last the 3 lines are a lie but this is a good ending nonetheless

>>39713000
the last the 3 digits are a lie but this is a good roll nonetheless

>>39712760
He already said they did everything in the book
Him and his twin are degenerate savages.

>>39712689
Both get shut down. It doesn't matter if you do it right or wrong.

>>39713027
Your digits are shit.
Here's a proper roll.

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>>39711327

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>>39707254

Pretty sure buddy is trapped by T-Rexa here.. if she strokes out up there he's going to have to chew his way free.

>>39712640
What's wrong with a Fitbit? I like them

>>39713139
You son of a bitch

>>39710745
weighted keks

>>39713157
>T-Rexa
>not Tina-Rex

Come on now

>>39707802
>THIS IS SATIRE
Congratz, realizing this makes you smarter than 90% of /fit/

Not really an achievement though

>>39709386
>second time in my life I ever made a sound during a medical procedure

Fucking, cunt. You know what you are doing. What was the first time?

>>39712479
Youre a sad little man

>>39712481
Its ironic how stupid youd have to be to beliebe this shit

>>39711327
fuc

>>39713266

Been 10 years since I saw that movie man.. Cut me some slack! Lol

>>39708426

"I didn't know what to be more amazed at: the agility of their tongues or their virtuosity at lying."

>>39712760
Nothing of it is true anyways, Westermarck effect

>>39713139
why would you do this obviously now I have to reply just in case

>>39710304
I'd love to actually take the data for this. Get a sample of tens of thousands of people and test the factors of childhood IQ and gross income with the response variable being whether or not someone is obese. It wouldn't be that hard to run in R, it'd just be difficult getting the people's IQ, gross income, and weight. It would actually be something productive this board could do.

>>39709227
>implying eating a fuckton of fruit instead of pizza would be better for you.

>>39711327
i'm good, psychic rottweiler has got my back

>>39711327
saving mommy
sides are gone

>>39713139
I wish I was a mother and my son read posts like these and didn't reply :(

>>39713139
you must be a nigger ,fuck you

>>39713139
:(

>>39711327
fuk u

>>39713139

>>39709682
>if she was fat as fuck they'd all call her beautiful
>you all know this to be true
Is "making it" getting hate from others from the same sex?
It is, isn't it?

>>39710304
>Poor people can't afford to eat well
I doubt that. Poor people waste their money on pop, cookies and chips when they could be getting loads of cheap vegetables and beans instead.

>>39710229
That's a crow, retard.

>>39712020
>Youre obviously talking out of your ass and making assumptions
No he's not bby, you're just a unicorn.

>>39711327
You are such a cunt anon.

>>39713139
cunt

>>39708408

Ohh that got me.

If I couldn't jump through the scream and kick the cunt in the head who wrote that, I would.

>>39711175
Is this the Bjork stalker

>>39711327
REEEEEE

>>39709682

It's mostly a female thing.

Imagine Danny Devito looking at Arnold saying "ohh he was ripped but I've seen better"

>>39711292
>Make my cousin pay me even more
You dick just kick the hamplanet out

>>39712214
My post was more about addressing complexity over concision. If you want to use words that are more accurate for what you are trying to describe, then by all means go ahead, but the original guy clearly used needlessly complex and unfitting words to describe something which is simple as fuck.

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>>39711327

>>39711327
fag

>>39708714
What I can't believe is that his fatass made a guest apperance on Supersize vs Superskinny and he still can't stop being a planet.

>>39708041
Former lifter here, currently fatty.

>I am fat (Fact)
>I'm fat because I eat like shit
>I eat like shit because I am stressed and have been clinically depressed for two years
>Tfw always hurting
>Only food numbs the pain
>Being fat makes me angry and defensive
>The cycle continues

Currently back on the horse. Doing a small daily workout routine and eating a little less.

Not all out of shape people are shitheads.
You're not a bad person for currently being out of shape.
Motivate yourself with wanting to be better.
Not by calling yourself garbage.

>>39713139
baszógyámánmeg

>>39713139

Fuck you.

>Fatfuck former friend
>Used to come lifting with me
>Bailed out when cuttingseason came
>Started "powerlifting"
>Still barely benches his BW after 4 years
>Eats pizza, fried chicken and tvdinners after workouts
>Redbull and monsterdrinks all day erryday
>Literally fell over panting and had to walk the rest halfway through a 5 km company run
>Used to lift in the same damn hoodie for a week
>Balding at 24
>Now looks 30+
>Still posts pics of the gym and proteintubs but too ugly and fat to post pics of himself

Fat people can even screw up lifting

>>39707287
http://www.dictionary.com/browse/morbidly

adjective

1. suggesting an unhealthy mental state or attitude; unwholesomely gloomy, sensitive, extreme, etc.:

2. affected by, caused by, causing, or characteristic of disease.

3. pertaining to diseased parts:

4. gruesome; grisly.

which one of these FOUR definitions sounds like it implies good health? hell, i'll even accept a case for AVERAGE health.

>>39714231
No. Holy shit it does kind of look him though. You're talking about the one who mailed her an acid trapped package and then blew his brains out after he found out she was dating a brown person, right?

>>39713381
Really, what's wrong with it? Clearly they have the money to eat in excess, that's why they're fat.

>>39714840

It feels good because you aren't fat I'm guessing

>>39711327
fugg

>>39713139
kek

>>39714838
You dont pay for calories, you pay for quality. Shit quality foods can be very calorie dense and really cheap, expensive foods are usually of higher quality and healthier

>>39708951
This kills the horse

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>>39708746
I'll take the beetus first

>>39708426
(((Eliezer)))

>>39713139
no!

>>39714894
>Shit quality foods can be very calorie dense and really cheap
Then the solution is to eat less of them and save a lot of money, thus not stay poor.

What foods are these by the way?

>>39713139
Why do I reply to this shit

>>39711327
i hope urs die dnayt

>>39707287
>Catcalls on a 717 lb woman on a scooter

Is there some sort of condition I´m unaware of that makes people unable to see their own lies? Nobody is this fucking dumb

>>39715033

she was probably backing up to snag that last family size box of poptarts and mistook the guy making the sound heavy machinery makes when it backs up as a catcall

>>39712523
No you numbskull, I'm talking about the "Your mother will die in her sleep" text in the iamge.

>>39715033
Idk man my friend will ironically catcall trashy people just to gauge their response.

>>39713139
Dgjhdjekdn

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>>39708426
>diet has nothing to do with it guys!

>>39711327
love ya mum no forever sleepytime tonight

>>39711327
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>39715170
a breakfast burrito is hardly the worst thing you could eat, anon

>>39711521
Underrated

>>39710208
means "regards" in some cuck language

>>39711286
>it's literally nothing

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>>39715170
Well, he may be a bit limited, but he's a damn good writer. HPMOR was fucking fantastic.

>>39707254
>wide margin
Heh

>>39715469
>and you wonder how i stole your man sweetie :)

I think it's pretty clear she ate this "man."

>>39711327
disgusting

>>39714601
Hope you feel better soon anon!
Keep lifting and eating healthy and you'll have girls mirin you in no time

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>>39707287
>I was 717 lbs

>>39707734
Good story my nignog

>>39711327
Fuck you.

>>39713139
Fuxk you

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>>39708661
I remember him tweeting something about possibly losing his health insurance if Trump won the election. With health problems like these, he's probably going to be dead within the next four years. I wonder if he realizes that.

>>39713139
piss

>>39711327
This anon is a faggot

>>39713139
well it was better than the walmart one at least

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al bundy is the patron saint of FPH, prove me wrong

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVg5QqJoxuU

>>39711327
Clever but fuck

>>39713348
The first time was having a pretty severe staph infection on my elbow lances without a local. They wanted a culture because we were in the middle of a MRSA scare. Grunted on the second cut. Doc still said she was impressed that nobody had to hold my arm down

>>39711327
ughh

>>39713139
I need to stop reading this shit.