How to prevent farting?

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>>39680281
>dating

Eat bananas. Drink a strong cup of coffee every morning to get your bowels moving.

If I don't manage to take a bowel emptying shit in the morning before I have to go about my day I'm basically a rancid fart factory and it's hell.
If I drink a strong coffee, 20 mins later my guts let loose a torrid of heinous tut that fills the bowl but after that I'm lighter than air with nary a fart in sight all day long.

That's basically it. Time your shits so that you get yourself good and empty before you start your day.

>>39680344
we're going to the cinema and probably having sex afterwards

>>39680367

Fart to establish your dominance.

Girls go crazy over that. They just pretend they don't like.

>>39680364
that's some good ideas right there. I'll try to smoke a couple cigarettes and drink some coffee before the dates. Cigarettes usually make me shit like crazy. thanks a lot

>>39680281
Just Dutch oven her. If she tries to do it back to you in return she's a keeper.

>>39680281
Too much protein can actually cause constipation, and farting. So have more fibre and water.

Otherwise you might be straight up having too much protein which your body isnt taking up quick enough, so bacteria are having their way leading to gas.

So try the first, then if not reduce a bit.

dont drink milk and eat oats then? especially if you know its giving you gas and you have a date but also in general.

fiddle around with your diet. constantly play around with it to see what gives you the best results. don't just stick to the same things all the time and explore new food options.

>>39680281
Stick a tube in your asshole so the farts just leak out without a sound

Hope this helps

>>39681398
I actually thought about that. there are specialized tubes that cause the gas to silently go out.

However, first: this wouldn't eliminate the smell, second: If she wants to stick her finger up my pooper, that could lead to a very uncomfortable conversation.

you get protean farts when you eat more proteans than you are utilizing

Kefir

>>39681710
>If she wants to stick her finger up my pooper,
why would you want this

>>39681896
try it out and you'll know

Switch to oats and hot water. Just as tasty, more satisfying in Winter, no more farts!

>>39680485
>Cigarettes and coffee.
Your mouth will taste like a shitty truck stop cafe.

>>39682461
chewing gum, mate. Also I need to do this at least an hour before the date anyways, else I'll have to shit during the date.

>>39680281
quit oats, eat something else

done

>>39680364
>nary a fart in sight
/fit/ you gay af

>>39682538

Shit to establish your dominance.

Girls go crazy over that. They just pretend they don't like.