PRISON

Pay for a starting strength/oly/powerlifting coach and do exactly what they tell you

How long, and for what?

>5'8
>prison

dude you finna be some niggas fleshlight

A gallon of milk a day, whole milk, lift like you're going to be raped,

>>39655909
Why the fuck do you think I want to add a shit ton of mass

Roid and GOMAD

>>39655896
>few months
>reckless faggotry

>5'8" 112

The only thing you should start exercising is your asshole.


https://bad-dragon.com/products/pearce

This should get you started

File: I;m thinking about thos Beans.jpg (35KB, 640x621px) Image search: [Google]

35KB, 640x621px

>>39655895
correctamundo

take some fighting classes too

>>39655896
Manslaughter

Was drunk, ran someone over in my truck and left like an idiot instead of staying in the area

Been there for two months once. It was actually pretty cool.
n-no homo

Just share your food and cigs with others and you will be fine

>>39655957
You should be hung in the courtyard at noon you degenerate piece of filth.


I hope Tyrone fucks your manlet asshole to prolapse.

>>39655957
How about 1x building jumps off of a skyscraper.

>>39655957
It might have been for the best though. your sentence would probably be worse if you stayed

>>39655968
>Hung

It's hanged you nigger.

>>39655879
Crossfit

That way you will get used to the daily beatings they give pedophiles in prison.

>>39655980
Actually no, I would've gotten a lesser sentence if I stayed

>>39655879
8 months isn't enough time to get strong and good at fighting after a life of being soft. Prison will make you hard, strong and good at fighting. When you come out you will be slaying pussy left right and center. Just get some tattoos.

>>39655986
How about I slap my hung cock across your jaw and we'll see how it hangs then?

>>39655879
Join a prison gang too like the Aryan Brothers.

>>39655957
>drunk driving
you're actually a piece of shit

>>39655986
Hung is the appropriate simple past tense form you dumbass

File: 1475959114830.jpg (143KB, 600x600px) Image search: [Google]

143KB, 600x600px

>>39655957
How about you just kill yourself you drunk-driving selfish dumbass. All your worth as a human is vanished anyway, so you got nothing to lose. It was an innocent person that YOU killed. He/she probably had a family, partner and child that are grieving their hearts and sanities away right now.

>>39655990
how long are you in for?

I would eat as much as possible (milk) and do a starting strength program before you go in.

learn how to defend yourself. starting strength will help you get some core and leg strength that is essential to defending yourself, but you need to learn how to stance yourself for balance and stability in a fight.

look up kickboxing videos on youtube. I would lift 5 days a week, with yoga and fight training every night 7 days a week if you really want to get ready as possible.

read convict conditioning for how to train when you're inside.

>>39655879
Go to /fraud/ and buy every damn drug you can. Eat like there's no tomorrow. And get a personal trainer to get you into powerlifting and get strong as fuck, do exactly what they tell you. P.S. the steroids are not optional if you value your anus

You may still live.

>>39655957

Looking forward to seeing you get raped

>>39656044
He only has 8 months to prepare. If anything ss is gonna turn him from a tiny twink to a high test bottom. Self Defense courses are a good idea though.

>>39656044
im in for 5 Years unfortunately so I also plan to gain some more mass whole im inside

>>39655879
Bench, shoulders and arms erry day if you want to look tough

Core and cardio if you actually want to survive fights that start with a sucker punch

>>39656091
>drunkenly kill someone
>only 5 years

Fuck this earth. I hope you catch a shiv.

>>39656091
Also, don't tell anyone what you're in for. If they find out you did some dumb shit like you did, you will get torn apart. Or at least don't mention you were driving drunk. Prison inmates have a pretty fucked up sense of justice

>>39656106
Thats how the law works, im not complaining im glad im not in for life

>>39656029
No it's not you retard, it's not a picture we are talking about, it's a person. People are hanged objects are hung

>>39655879
roid

File: pizza2.jpg (63KB, 640x483px) Image search: [Google]

63KB, 640x483px

>>39656122
>>39656120
>>39656118
>>39656106
>>39656103
>>39656091
>>39656078
>>39656056
>>39656054
>>39656044
>>39656035
>>39656029
>>39656016
>>39656014
>>39656010
>>39656004
>>39655990
>>39655987
>>39655986
>>39655980
>>39655976
>>39655968
>>39655966
>>39655957
>>39655940
>>39655928
>>39655923
>>39655919
>>39655918
>>39655910
>>39655909
>>39655896
>>39655895
Not sure if this matters but I'm also in Canada but I'm pretty sure prison is hard no matter where you are.

>>39656147
Prison isn't that bad anon, I served 2 years a while back it's just basically like being a NEET

>>39656147
roid and lift and train that asshole just in case

>>39656147

Norwegian prison isn't.

https://www.rt.com/news/340356-breivik-verdict-playstation-torture/

>>39656147
Oh. What. You're fine, faggot.

>>39656147
You'll have a great time in that case

If this is real, then do nothing but bulk and work out hard, train in some martial arts. Probably Jui Jitsu so you can stop all the rape. Also do steriods as much as you can.

File: skooby-pose.jpg (41KB, 351x364px) Image search: [Google]

41KB, 351x364px

>>39655879

go to our pal M bond.

go buy some p cum test and tren and lots of it.

Train like your life depended on it and eat at least 1000 calories more than maintenance every day, with at least 250g protein.

If you get big enough then bubba will think twice about fucking around with you.

Eat all the food you can, 300 push ups a day, 200 pull ups, 100 dips. (or moar) Most i not all prisons have a gym. live in it. But if you want mass. Start carbo loading. Eat everything, thats the most important part.

>>39655879
>Preferably want to look like this by the time I go in
That's gonna take 2+ years, not 8 months.

>>39656147
How long of a sentence you getting bro?

this whole thread is b8

>>39656120
Did you learn anything, OP?

>>39656169
why?

>>39655879
ohp and squeeze your glutes to practice denying access

>>39656227
No, if this is true he should kill himself.

never seen b8 this gr8 m8

>>39656239
5 years
>>39656249
not really this justice sytem is fucked

Here is the fucking proof faggots.

http://www.therecord.com/news-story/6993127-victim-identified-in-cambridge-hit-and-run/

There waiting to release all the information about me there just getting all the facts and proof first

File: dredd driving.jpg (209KB, 546x640px) Image search: [Google]

209KB, 546x640px

>>39656319
>Kill somebody by being a fucking retard
>Go to prison
>Woooooooow, bugged justice mechanics
Kill yourself or get killed in prison please.

File: 160927210830-tk-ah0927-large-169.jpg (18KB, 460x259px) Image search: [Google]

18KB, 460x259px

>>39656330
>http://www.therecord.com/news-story/6993127-victim-identified-in-cambridge-hit-and-run/

>doxxing yourself

>>39656280
Rape

File: OP.jpg (28KB, 270x270px) Image search: [Google]

28KB, 270x270px

>>39656330

>>39656348
police report says you are in your 40s. You're fucked mate, you have zero chance of building mass without steroids.

1. You would've caught 3rd degree murder in some parts of the US for drunk driving (by getting behind the wheel drunk, you made a conscious decision to do something that can kill others... manslaughter is the accidental killing of a human)... so consider yourself lucky to be in a leftist country that coddles criminals.

2. You can be the biggest motherfucker in prison and can still get jumped by 10 guys in the yard. Consider joining a gang, I'm assuming you're White, Aryan Nation has an important presence in Canada, I don't know about your local laws but in my state temporarily joining a prison gang out of fear for your life is considered a pardonable offense due to the circumstances. They'll protect you.

Just play along with the stupid skinheads until you're out of prison and forget about it once you're out. You'll probably have to get a swastika or lightning bolt tattoo, lasering that shit off is a small price to pay for protection.

>>39656147
I did a year at the pen by Regina, Saskatchewan, if your a prairie bro be prepared to join a race related gang of Indians will fuck with you especially in Saskatchewan with native syndicate bing so big

>>39656356
This is not a thing.

>>39656356
That was the guy I hit

>>39656377
I know that's what the news story said, but when they released the sketch police said suspect drove a white truck and was 45-50 yo.

>>39656385
Making sure you just got the right information

>>39656396
Still, his point stands that you're not going to build any muscle at your age.

>>39655879
START LUBING THAT ASS UP FAGGOT HAHAHAHA

>>39656407
Should I atleast try or fused my asscheeks together the night before I go in?

>>39656396
Do you feel remorse?

>>39656414
Depends, are you actually 50 years old?

>>39655909
K E K
E
K

>>39656417
Pretty drunk so not really, guess I do belong in prison

>>39656424
I'm 47 so I guess im out of luck

>>39656426
Then go fuck yourself

>>39656437
How come it takes 8 months to get to prison in canada?

File: IMG_1363.jpg (1MB, 3264x2448px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 3264x2448px

INCLUDE ME IN THE SCREENCAP

http://www.menshealth.com/fitness/build-muscle-over-40

Derp

>>39656437
then prepare your anus

>>39656449
Suspended Sentence

>>39656437
Honestly, you have a better chance of doing a sex change before you go and ending up in women's prison.

>>39656479
This. Go to a psychologist ASAP and get diagnosed with gender dysmorphia. They'll send you to a doc for hormones.

File: R18.png (130KB, 437x603px) Image search: [Google]

130KB, 437x603px

>>39656452

>>39656449
Because we have less niggers so we don't have to rush.

>>39655957
Seriously, kill yourself because you're life is going to be a 24/7/365 living Hell and even if you ever do get out you'll never be able to rejoin civilized society as a MURDERER which is what you are. So KILL YOURSELF because if you don't the odds are that the family members of that person you killed will pay people to rape you and cut your cock and balls off while also knocking your teeth out so you can suck cock better. Suicide is your only option.

>>39655879
Fuck you, faggot. Its clear you haven't learned from your mistake. You deserve more than 5 years.

Enjoy the assrape.

File: 1468129474797.jpg (21KB, 680x731px) Image search: [Google]

21KB, 680x731px

lel don't take roids, last thing you want is to be a low test fgt recovering from PCT or a blast while in prison

I would just kill your self to be honest. The world is a cruel and unforgiving place as it is, probley more so when your a piece of shit ex con that has killed someone.

But then this whole thing is most likely bait anyway

Alright I would start planning your strategy for the first day. Join a gang and earn their respect. When I was in Da Joint by the third week I had my cellmate as my sweetbitch. Shit was cash.

The punk-rock scene is very highly regarded in prison. If you want to intimidate people, get a tattoo on your face that says "punk". No one will fuck with you.

2 cycles of test and deca, meanwhile spend 40 hours a week training forms of MMA including kickboxing. No I'm not exaggerating, 40 hours a week, that's what the deca is for

No point training naturally for size like a retard, 1 cycle of dbol and you're good

>>39656330
i fucking hate canadians you people are the niggers of the world

>>39655986
nah, niggers are hung, bruh.

>>39655879
Convict Conditioning

>>39655879
>dyel aiming for that
KEK get on that bycicle faggot and I don't mean an actual bycicle

Walk up to the biggest guy there at lunch and punch him in the face. That should earn you some respect and buy you enough time to come up with a plan to break out of the big house.

>>39656918
This OP, do it. It's a win no matter what happens. If you succeed you'll have a good time while you're doing your five years. If you fail we get to laugh on your grave once you're literally fucked to death.

OP are you a fucking psychopath? You killed an innocent person and you are thinking about lifting

>>39655957
Hopefully you'll be killed by someone that lost a relative.

Really painfully, like you'll get your kidneys perforated with a sharped toothbrush.

>>39656319
Five years? For killing someone?

>>39656319

>drive drunk
>kill another human being
>the only thing i learned is the justice system is fucked

How can you type that out?

Do you not feel any remorse for the life you took?

For that mans family who suffer?

I hope you get raped repeatedly

>>39657046
He'll probably get out in 40 months if he earns enough GBP

File: retrasado.gif (2MB, 240x180px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 240x180px

>get drunk
>drive
>kill someone

Way to ruin your life

>>39656595
>Seriously, kill yourself because you're life is going to be a 24/7/365 living Hell and even if you ever do get out you'll never be able to rejoin civilized society as a MURDERER which is what you are. So KILL YOURSELF because if you don't the odds are that the family members of that person you killed will pay people to rape you and cut your cock and balls off while also knocking your teeth out so you can suck cock better. Suicide is your only option.

>>39655879
I agree wholeheartedly with the above, OP. If this isn't bait and you actually drove drunk, killed someone, then ran off to try to evade the consequences, then you're a degenerate piece of shit and should just An Hero right now, post it live on YouTube, and make sure the family of the person you killed gets the link to it so they can see real justice being done: A LIFE for a LIFE. Some might argue it's better for you to suffer in prison, but why should taxpayer money go to keep your worthless ass alive? Kill yourself, it's the only way you can truly atone for being such a piece of shit.

>>39656147
just watch trailer park boys you'll be fine

>>39656319
are you white?

>>39657128
Must be nice sitting up on your high horse all day huh?

Cant you just flee the country man? 5 years is a fucking lot

>>39657161
Not being a fucking killer who tries to run from the consequences is probably a pretty short pony actually

>>39657161
Shove it up your ass.

File: 1446011436721.jpg (13KB, 221x200px) Image search: [Google]

13KB, 221x200px

>>39656330
>The white Ford pickup truck left the scene and was last spotted going west along Cedar Street. It is described as an F-250, F-350 or F-550 super duty 1999-2001 model or a Ford Excursion from 2000-2002.
>I'm 5'8

Here's what you need to know to survive in prison:

>don't gamble
>don't loan anyone money
>don't get a loan from anybody
>pay your debnts
>show respect to everyone
>if someone "tries you" then put up a fight, it's rare for this to happen unless you're a real piece of shit because the person assaulting you also gets punished, but it happens
>when you first get in, lay back until you figure out what the deal is
>be good to your cellie
>try to have some money sent in, even 20-30 dollars extra a month will greatly improve your living conditions
>get a routine going, focus on self improvement (as they say "you do the time, don't let the time do you")

That's all I can think of off the top of my head. If you're doing state time, you'll probably do 30 months or less and go to a halfway house for a few months.

t. Prisonfag

>>39657209
>49 years old
>goes to 4chan
>starts a thread on /fit/
"H-Hey guys I'm a fugitive on the run from the law and boy am I in big trouble! I'm 5'8 112 lbs and might be going to prison, what workout routine should I do??"

100+ replies later.
God damn.

>>39657245
What did you do?

>>39657245
Don't listen this guy. He's clearly never been to the big house.

When you get in place a large bet on a Gin Rummy game. If you lose you'll have a long time to work it off fro my your debtors.

When you first get in don't lay back, you'll become somebody's bitch if you play passive. Just beat the shit out of your cellmate until he's your sweetbitch. Then you can pimp him out to gangs and earn their respect.

>>39657253
If someone is 49 and 5'8 112 pounds they're probably on crack

Make sure to take a fat nasty dump first thing, and dont flush. It's an alpha thing and it will let your cellie know who is boss.

>>39657287

"Unauthorized access to a protected computer with intent to defraud."

Ended up doing 3 years in federal prison starting in my late teens. Turning 21 on federal prison was fun.

Overall it wasn't too bad. Read alot of books, worked out with crack heads, and met alot of genuinely interesting people.

The whole ordeal cost me 5 years of my life if you count the time my case was in court and the probation afterwards. It's still impossible for me to a job and I had to apply to 5 apartment complexes before I found one that didn't see my conviction in their background check.

>>39655879
>going to prison as a 5'8 112lbs guy
Enjoy being raped by niggers

>>39655957

Joining with all the worst wishes

>>39657328
/cyber/ bro? How tf did you actually manage to get caught? Carding?

>>39657161
You must be seriously fucked in the head if you think not murdering someone is "high horse"

>>39657372

I got caught the way 99% of people get caught: I trusted the wrong person. The "trust nobody, not even yourself" meme is real. I had been doing the work for a long time, go lazy, brought in somebody I didn't vet well enough and next thing you know there's a dozen FBI guys in ninja suits pointing guns in my face in a city 2000 miles from my home.

I don't get the whole drunk driving thing, maybe because Im not a drinker. They say don't drink and drive, but if you're drunk than you aren't gonna be making very smart and conscious decisions anyway. Anybody who's already in a state like that won't be making informed decisions, so really only sober people know not to drink and drive. Am I totally wrong in this?

>>39657307
I'm sure they also do SS and read the sticky and lurk this board too right

>>39657383

Eh, kinda. Drunk people just overestimate their ability to drive. "I'm not drunk, I'm just a little tipsy" is the most common excuse.

>>39657383

Do you also kill and rape people while drunk because " you aren't gonna be making very smart and conscious decisions anyway" ?
Not an excuse

>>39656319
>kill someone doing one of the dumbest fucking things an asshole can do these days
>get sent to prison
>"wow this is rigged fuck the justice system"
Put some mass on your conscience, you remorseless cunt. I hope your stay in whatever Canadian hell hole they throw you in is so horrible that you leave wishing it was you that got hit by a drunk driver that night. You killed someone. Do you understand that? The only thing fucked about this is that you're not getting more time in a worse prison.

>>39657383
Being drunk doesn't mean you lose total control of yourself.

There's no excuse.

>>39655879
learn how to suck dick without ganging because your fucked mate.

>>39655957
I hope you fucking rot in prison. It's people like you that killed my brother

>>39655879

You weigh less than most girls I know mate, you're going to be a fucking chew toy if you're in america or anywhere outside of western/northern europe.

You ain't looking like that after 8 months, that right their is natural broadness and stockiness combined with multiple years of training. You aren't going to have either of those.

>>39657403
Right but that falls under the whole "under the influence" thing, which already distorts their decision making which advice like "don't drink and drive" attempts to help.

>>39657404
Don't drink people often rape and on the rare occasion commit manslaughter?


>>39657419
What if you're just so smashed beyond belief? Which sadly isn't a rare ocurrence?

I'm not saying you shouldnt be punished heavily for killing someone while drunk, but the whole area is just grey and murky in so many ways. It's like those people who stab their wives in their sleep and then wake up with no recollection.

>>39657546

The hope is that the drunk person will already have a contingency plan before they start drinking.

>>39656187
>Breivik has three cells to himself - one for living, one for studying, and one for exercise - and they are filled with amenities such as a TV, DVD player, the torturously-old Playstation 2 console, a typewriter, books, and newspapers.

seriously?
this nigga would be dead if he were in the states.
he's living like a college freshman.

>>39655957
Pray for forgivness.

>>39657546
>What if you're just so smashed beyond belief? Which sadly isn't a rare ocurrence?

Then you've put yourself in that situation, and you deserve every punishment for whatever actions follow.

>>39657546
>but the whole area is just grey and murky in so many ways

It's really not.

If you're coherent enough to drive, you're coherent enough to know not to and decide to not care.

>>39657381
ever since xvisceral got rekt in vegas I've been laying low, fbi/gov aren't totally fuckwads about this stuff now

>>39656396

How the fuck is a 45 year old man so thin and frail?

How the fuck is a 45 year old man so irresposible and useless to kill someone drunk driving? I see people like you and realise I'm not actually even really a bad person.

>>39657606

I did some carding, but my main scheme was always network intrusion. It was always about the battles for me. Carding was fun at first but it gets mundane doing the same shit over and over. At a certain point it becomes about more than just the money.

I always felt bad for the people too. I'd try and do everything I could to minimize damage to them. I could have made alot more money cashing out debit cards, but all the loss hits the consumer. With credit cards, at least they're only liable for 50 dollars and a few hours of headache.

They found a 50k dump on an old hard drive when they raided my place, but they couldn't charge me with it because they screwed up the chain of custody.

>>39657161

Was this post intended to make me laugh? Like that's actual comedy tier writing.

>"Dude, I just fucking killed a guy can we stop going on about it? Get off your damn high horse."

I hope someone is capping this thread because OP is remarkable.

File: trollface.png (128KB, 1954x1783px) Image search: [Google]

128KB, 1954x1783px

OP HERE!

>I can't believe you faggots actually believed my shitpost bait.

Call me whatever you wan't but you idiots actually believed a story with so many plot holes in it.
Shitposting on /fit/ is incredibly funny because you faggots will accept anything without calling any type of bullshit.

>faggots

>Post this shit to r/4chan but don't include this because I wan't to troll even more people.

>>39657626
it's just good practice to habitually wipe/dban/magnetfuck your old hdds and check if you need anything from them prior

>>39657638
Nobody believed you were going to prison.
Prison is for people being sentenced to 1 year or longer.
Jail is for <1yr.

>>39657638

Simply ebin

>>39655879
>112lbs
>male

Hahaha holy shit. You're gonna get passed around as a cumrag

>>39657648

Yeah, the drive was like 5 years old at the time and I didn't realize I had anything on it.

I used to dban everything, but it got to the point where it was easier to just physically destroy the drives and get new ones.

>>39657655

Technically that's true, but in practice it's not really. I knew a few guys who spent longer than 3 years in jail while their case was being prosecuted. It really just comes down to where they want to put you.

>>39656147
Canada? Oh shit nvm you'll be fine lol

>>39655957
kill yourself you degenerate.
Also ask God for forgiveness, and find peace in Jesus Christ.
>But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Luke 6:35

File: imagenumber124907.jpg (60KB, 990x557px) Image search: [Google]

60KB, 990x557px

>>39657699
god doesn't exist bud

>>39657708
I hope that one day you too will find God.
>Everyone who goes on ahead and does not abide in the teaching of Christ, does not have God. Whoever abides in the teaching has both the Father and the Son. If anyone comes to you and does not bring this teaching, do not receive him into your house or give him any greeting, for whoever greets him takes part in his wicked works. 2 John1:9-11

>>39657755
>>39657699
>quoting nonsense written by men
thousands of years ago will surely make for a compelling argument

>>39657699
>kill yourself
>no wait, find love in god

Why are people who quote the bible such empty headed hypocrites? I mean I believe the guy is a piece of shit also but you directly contradict the quotes you throw and paste in people's faces from your Bible.doc

>>39655957
You fucked up, my man

That's pretty inexcusable

>>39657591
>>39656187

The thing about Norwegian high security prisons is that their cells are completely self sustaining. Food, hygiene, activity, it's all available within your cell. The prisoners are slotted to have 1 hour a day in a yard, alone. No other prisoner interaction. Minimal guard interaction due to the self-sustaining nature.

It's not brash like American prison where you live in squalor and fear, get beaten and raped but have human interaction.

Breveik is spending 23 years in nearly complete isolation.

>>39656330
>Cambridge

Jesus man, I live right by where you killed a man.

>>39657886
really? cool lets meet up

>>39656014
for the record, this is usually terrible advice. just stay out of the way, don't be belligerent but definitely don't be a doormat, don't accept gifts from anyone, and you should be fine without having to join a gang, which is a lot more serious than this flippant post is making it out to be.

>>39657383
>Am I totally wrong in this?
Have you ever been drink son? It's not like you're possessed by the devil and you lose any control

>>39655957

How do you feel about your actions?

>>39656147
>8 months for drunk driving manslaughter

fuck this gay country. i hope you get raped hard.

>>39656449
Dude seriously what the fuck.


I would just save as much money as I can and make a break for it outside the country.


But OP deserve time anyways.


Crazy how in the US you can actually serve time behind bars before being proven guilty for months before the actual court case.

>>39657253
the victim was 49.

he's some fucktard who should not exist and basically a waste of organic matter.

>>39655957
no biggie lol

>>39657886
same.

OP is a fucking massive loser cunt, i can imagine he's one of this dumb drunk hicks who always speeds and shit in the country roads around there.

>>39656147
a FUCKING LEAF

>>39655879
>>39655957
Therapist here, I'm not going to insult you like the rest of the guys in here.

I ethically can't judge people on a specific action, it's tragic of course but let me ask you, how fucked up were you really?
Where you in a rush? What made that night of drinking that much more different from the rest of your life?

Not to get too nittygritty but do/did you feel remorse during the trial? What do you feel now?
Have you come to accepting or at least forgiving yourself?

I feel for you OP, I hope you are going to deal with the consequences to the best of your abilities and I hope you come to inner peace of mind and come out of this strong and grow from it.

>>39657981
he said in 8 months not for 8 months you fucking mong

>>39658022
fuck off don't judge me. you're just as bad as retard op

>>39655957
god made hell for people like you

>>39657981
retard he's going to prison in 8 months, not that he is going to be there for 8 months

>>39658020

Lol you're up there with lawyers you slimy fuck.

If your going to prison and want your butthole intacted, I would be doing large amounts of anabolic steroids dood.

Hexabolin
Equipose
Test
NPP
HGH

Fuck your balls your asshole is way more importanty.

>>39655879
Steroids my dude.

>>39658049
Yeah, trying to help criminals, violent and tormented souls and abused people find a layer of peace for their actions and irrational behavior sure is slimy.

>>39658030
This. Hells for criminals fags and unbelievers. They all deserve it.

>>39655879
OP, 8 months from now you will experience what life with your genetics would be 10 thousands years ago. Your only hope is to offer your asshole to whoever is willing to protect you.

Pro Tip: Your asshole needs to be really nice for that to work, because these prisoners have some really fucked up senses of justice. They get off on brutally destroying people like you, and think it's the right thing to do.

File: index.jpg (9KB, 268x188px) Image search: [Google]

9KB, 268x188px

>>39655957
I sure am glad we keep alcohol legal and banned weed.

>>39658002
underrated post

>>39658096
Yeah, I'm sure a lesson of "don't kill other people or rot in jail" is a perfectly suitable punishment for these scumbags.

>>39655957
Go duck yourself

>>39655957
Honestly hope your dick stops functioning from drug misuse and then get raped into being a sissy prison bitch

>>39658228
Over simplification doesn't help you win your argument fella.

More like helping these guys rationalize what they have done, even if they meant to or not.

>>39655957
not that you asked but your next couple of years of life are going to suck with all the thinking back and regrets, but you'll grow and live with it

>>39658228
I guarantee you have at some point, or will in the future, operated a motor vehicle while having BAC above .08.

99% of america has. so all the judgement is weird since it could've been any of you. he just actually got punished for his mistake, while most people get away with it.

>>39655957
Get fucked. I hope Ayawamat fucks your asshole until you die of superaids

>>39658020
Youre a fucking piece of shit. And I honestly mean that from the very bottom of my heart.

>>39655957
What's wrong with being a murderer? Also am drunck, but I've got nothing to lose anyways as long as I don't hurt anyone else.

>>39658488
How do you rationalize that post?

>>39655957
coming from someone who's close relative broke her knee because of a drunk driver i just wanna make sure you know that everybody hates you, including your family

>>39658407
I haven't and I won't.

My aunt was an alcoholic and killed someone. My cousin was murdered by a drunk dickhead going 80 on a residential street. My sister's best friend didn't put his seat belt on and managed to killed himself that way.

Fuck drunk driving and fuck anyone who justifies it. Even my best friends who admit to it I chew the shit out of them.

If you honestly sympathize with anyone who drives drunk, I hope you get to experience being on the receiving end of someone who didn't just think, "Maybe I should wait a while longer".

>>39657872
Just like us

>>39657161
that doesn't work when you're actually a piece of shit, you piece of shit

>>39655879
lol i have the same stats as u, cool bro

>>39657487
have a sook u autistic faggot. i wish another drongo like me RAPES your mum.

OP. I been in 3 times UK jail.

Very first thing to do is find your local guys from the same place you live. They will also be looking for you, strength in numbers and you can make some friends for a laugh and companionship.

Theres a good chance you will be in with the long termers. You want this. They will all have built up their comfort zone and privileges and they will not want to lose it, and by 'lose it' I mean fuck it up for themselves by doing stupid shit.

Find out if there is a limit on money and bring the maximum to jail with you for your PPC. Everything can be used for trade (radio batteries etc) or favours.

Do not take one piece of shit from anyone, if someone tries to label you a ponce etc, call him out on it immediately, even if he is with his mates.

The screws are not your friends, dont call them boss or sir or any other shit like the other guys do, fuck them unless they actually show you some respect first. DO NOT TELL THEM ANYTHING! unless you fear for your life, then you can tell them that.

youre gonna be bored as fuck, I hope you enjoy reading.

Why are Americans so obsessed with prison rape

>>39659415

It's very bizarre. I'm sure the kikes are behind it somehow.

>>39659415
Mostly niggers in prison. They are hyper sexual as is so when you get aggressive ones on top of that its a recipe for rape.

>>39658134
cause driving while baked is so much safer

>>39658134
>his state hasn't legalized marijuana

Top kek, I don't even smoke but I like having the option

File: american-history-x.jpg (68KB, 965x544px) Image search: [Google]

68KB, 965x544px

Get this tattoo OP

>>39659429
>>39659441
>because we're insecure racist hicks

File: image.jpg (23KB, 187x269px) Image search: [Google]

23KB, 187x269px

>>39659483
>triggered

>>39659483

Can you think of any logical reason for the implicit acceptance of rape in prison? It's something that isn't acceptable anywhere else in society, but a man being fucked in the ass is comical to most people.

For the record, it's not something that happens much. Gay shit happens all the time, but it's always consensual.

>>39659498
Feminine society. It's hilarious when men get raped but oh so tragic if a man cat calls

>>39659515

>feminine society

That's a wonderful euphemism for Cultural Marxism.

>>39659524
One in the same

>>39658030
God doesn't exist, and neither does hell. Grow up.

>>39658407
Some of us actually have control. Or just don't drink to begin with.

With Taxis, Uber, friends, hell bartenders that actually care, and other reasons. There is just no reason to fucking drink and drive.

Only thing disgusting here is that this fag gets a few years and thats it. I've seen people who have commented fraud and other non murderous crimes get way more time than this scum bag. But hey its drinking so he was just kidding around.

But anyways take your (((you))).

>>39655957
Fucking moron. Rot in hell.

>>39655895
also known as wasting your money
start roiding obviously you'll gain sick size and mass

File: 1481016963613.jpg (55KB, 480x473px) Image search: [Google]

55KB, 480x473px

>>39657594
>rape a drunk bitch
>it's her fault
>got a minor STD from intercourse
>send her to prison
land of freedom

>>39659464
Ive done it every day for the past 4 years without even a speeding ticket or missed stop sign so you tell me faggot

>>39657546
>What if you're just so smashed beyond belief? Which sadly isn't a rare ocurrence?

In case you aren't aware, most people still don't commit crimes while they are "smashed beyond belief."

Alcohol is just an excuse.

>US prison system tells you you will be in prison in 8 months
>you live in the US, a huge fucking country

FUCKING RUN AWAY YOU FUCKING IDIOT WHAT

>>39660477
>zones out and misses stop sign

damn, i feel bad for OP hahaha. Everyone here suggests him to commite suicide, rot in hell etc. it must really suck for you, op

>>39660497
he is in Canada

>OP killed a canadian
>people are condemining him

You will all mulch on the day of the rake.

>>39655879
>Canadian
>down in 8 months
>5 year sentence
>drunk driving manslaughter

Well you won't need gains for Canadian-anything. But if you want to see the years 2017-23 from behind bars, by all means stick around. But why the fuck would you chose going to jail when you can get your ass into the US and do right by whoever you killed by never drinking again? It's not like spending 5 years behind bars is going to change jack. Shit's already happened; go south and make gains, both physically, mentally, and financially. Then sate your conscious by giving the victim’s family by compensating them. You can achieve a lot more in those 5 years than wasting them in some shitty prison cell.

>>39660477
That means jack shit. Come on, it's fucking 2016. What kind of retard still uses anecdotal evidence?

>>39655879
SS + GOMAD, I'm not evan joking. Fastest way to gains as much mass as possible in short period of time.

>>39657377
Murder is something different than killing someone in the process of drunk driving.

>>39660581
>he can simply leave

>>39660581
>4chan gives legal advice
>"when u need to go to jail just dont lol"

>>39657699
Fag

>drunk driving hit & run

LOL of course it was in a truck you fucking manlet, you probably couldn't see over the steering wheel right?

Later this year, when my studies start overtaking me and the progress on my lifts slows down, and I start to feel a little low--I'll briefly think of this short, unrepentant dyel getting spit-roasted in prison and a little smile will cross my face.

>>39660581
great advice. Definitely run OP, come to the US and you for sure won't get extradited + more prison time.

>>39655957
One of my friends from high school was just rendered comatose by a piece of shit like you.
So glad to hear you're going to jail, but the fact that it's not for life is a miscarriage of justice. Please keep being too much of a coward to take your own life, I hope you get to prison safe and sound.

>>39655957
I hope you get shanked, murderer.

>>39657161
>not killing someone = being pretentious

lel. you might just be going in for five years but with how mentally deficient you are I'm sure you won't be back out for long.

File: 1423429256025.png (11KB, 429x410px) Image search: [Google]

11KB, 429x410px

>>39658407
Have fun justifying your own shitty behavior by pretending 'everyone else is doing it.' You're wrong, though. It's just dumb faggots like you.

File: 8b6ce5f922513d7def927305e8a62b0f.jpg (7KB, 236x236px) Image search: [Google]

7KB, 236x236px

>>39657487
My brother was killed, too.

They never caught the son of a bitch, but he ended up being involved in a case I was working some years later and I ended up killing him in self defense.

>pic related, the son of a bitch that dropped a piano on my brother's head

>>39655879

Legit answer:

>1. Start boxing. Walk down to your nearest boxing gym right now. At the end of 8 months you'll have sparred, which will give you fight confidence, and be able to throw a punch better than most in the street.
>2. Stop shaving. A beard will masculinize you.
>3. Size through simply lifting and diet is a pack of lies created by fraudsters selling products to insecure young men, while always forgetting to mention that all gains came through the pin of a needle. A 5'8 'natural' at 165lbs 6% is exceptional progress, but it only looks good in pictures. For what is considered size in 2016 you need roids.
4. Google 're**it steroid source'. You'll have gear to your door within days. Go to amazon for needles if you need them. My advice would be equipoise/boldenone 300mg 3xweek with tren ace (will age your face) 100mg 3xweek and 1g of test/week at the 3rd month. You'll need a PCT the month before you go in. I'd recommend HCG. Of course Dianabol is very cheap, is an idiot proof pill, does not reuire any PCT and will pack on size on (20lbs to the scale in a month easy) if you buy good stuff from a decent supplier. Start at 5mg and increase to 15mg over three weeks, 2 weeks on/2 off. On both you'll be stepping into prison as solid man.
>5. You need to start eating everything in sight. Even if you're 220lbs of pure fat it'll steer others away.
>6. Google "Reg Park’s 3 Step 5×5 Routine: The Original Size & Strength Workout". It's a real deal program that will put solid weight on the scale combined with steroid use. 9 months long, will take 2 hours/3 days week at top.

Do the above and you'll be walking into the prison twice the man you are now.

5'7 = manlet op is faggot

>>39655957

Love all of the self righteous faggots taking out their shit on this guy

I know for a fact upwards of 50% of society has driven legally drunk at some point in their life

>>39661025
I don't even drink bro. Nice aim.
I just don't know anyone who has never once drank then driven. I did it a few times back in high school and if someone ran out in the road I couldve been fucked.

>>39657383

No, it's one of the funnier aspects of society. Girl gets really hammered and goes home with a dude and sleeps with him? Not her fault, she couldn't think straight, guy was a rapist, poor girl, etc etc

Get really drunk and make a predictably stupid decision to get in your car and drive? Burn in hell

I got a DUI on probably my 3rd time ever driving drunk after getting way too drunk at my friend's bachelor's party, it was late and I don't even remember why or why no one stopped me but I've paid heavy consequences and while I accept those the idea that some faggot is going to practice this doublethink and try to shame me more for it pisses me off

>>39662456
[citation needed]

>>39662535

arrest statistics would estimate that 20% of Americans get a DUI in their lifetime

these are just the people who got caught, which is usually a fraction of offenders

you can be legally impaired after 2-3 beers bubs, do you think everyone going to sporting events or work functions and getting drunk are catching cabs back home?

>>39655879
Go on a dreamer bulk. Get as fucking fat as possible, while lifting as much as you can. Reach at least 300 pounds

>>39656091
Fuck you pal. Only 5 years for killing someone?

And you did it drunk? And you left the fucking scene? Fuck you I hope you get raped every day for 5 years.

>>39662496
i think youre a jackass for drinking so much

same as the dumb whore who got wasted at a frat party and claims rape

stop drinking so goddamn much, all of you.

ITT: dyel soft pussies

You gotta knock dem da fuck out day 1

>>39656004
So we're just going to not mention that chicks that fuck cons are fat and/or crazy and/or cheating on another bigger con?

How the fuck are you 112lb 5, 8? You're gone be someones bitch with that small of a build.

File: IMG_6443.jpg (27KB, 202x204px) Image search: [Google]

27KB, 202x204px

>>39655879
How did it happen OP? Did you hit them whilst they were on the pavement or were they crossing the road?

>>39655879
Does it feel kind of weird that you made something nothing? Like, that you just ended a human mind that was probably thinking thoughts as you hit it? It would definitely feel weird to me.

>>39655879
Lettuce jones is that you?

File: tmp_4061-1480759898804-1731743038.jpg (77KB, 777x728px) Image search: [Google]

77KB, 777x728px

>>39664314
Yo, this my nigga lysol. He fresh out the joint

>>39664339
>tfw a chihuahua has more money than you

>>39657872

So what you're saying is, perfect circumstances for self improvement? Other than potentially needing a spotter, what reason is there for him not coming out looking like the hulk?

>>39655879
Rip, not every man is made the same but in hs starting with your stats it took me 4 semesters to get to 150lbs at 5'8" if it's an American prison have fun.

>>39655879
SS+GOMAD

>>39655909
this
OP just kill yourself.. Or just brutally kill few other people for no reason so niggaz will be afraid of crazy cracka

>>39658134
fuck off degerate scum you should be locked up in prison with 1000 niggers for 100 years, you are a parasite

>>39657411

I think he's saying it's fucked because he should've gotten more time.

>>39657411
>>39665139
No, I just don't care. I honestly would love to see his families reaction. All I've really learned is how much of a rush you can get from killing.

>>39665465
So your a psychopath? i hope you get shived.

>>39655957
i hope you get your asshole torn apart while youre choking on all your teeth that just got kicked in

File: 1442322497359s.jpg (2KB, 125x125px) Image search: [Google]

2KB, 125x125px

>>39655879
SS+GOMAD

>>39658012
Gtfo /int/

>>39657209
Ford sells many unique vehicles! e.g., Ford F-150, Ford F-250, Ford F-350!

>>39655879
Faggot

in all honesty, toning and muscle gain is exactly what you don't want to do... you'll just look more attractive to anything that wants to rape you... go the other way, turn into a fat degrenerate and hope that no one wants your tubby ass... try to eat as much chocolate and drink as much beer as possible to give your face that pimple/pizza look

>>39664211

I got a misdemeanor and the immediate consequences for me were shocking enough. You're living life normally one moment then crazy shit happens in a few minutes and everything is completely different.

This guy was going along with life, then killed someone, and is now going to prison for 5 years. That all happened in one night. I would seriously consider offing myself lol