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>gym introduced a 'no singles' policy

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Thread replies: 223
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>gym introduced a 'no singles' policy
>>
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>gym raised the squat rack toll to 50 cents a set
>>
>>39602482
so it shut down?
>>
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Had to use the gyms squat plug after misplacing my own
>>
>>39602482
>they don't want your money anymore because you are single

Sounds like a stupid business idea
>>
>>39602482
>tfw manager checks if you have a minimum of 300 fb friends
>>
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>>39602482

>someone stepped on the gym fairy
>>
>have to buy a new squat plug because an old one keeps falling out
>>
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>>39602482
>gym introduced an "above 5'2" policy
>>
>>39602482
As in don't try your orm? Still a bad idea for a gym though.
>>
>>39602482
then do doubles you mong
>>
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>they installed a lunk alarm
>the buzzer goes off at any time if anything weighing more than 70 kilograms is lifted
>3rd time getting kicked out already
>mfw it's my personal home gym
>>
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>gym introduced a "no singles" policy
>>
>gym replaced all the equipment with new ones that take tokens instead of cash
>machines cost equivalent to 50 cents for 10 minutes
>token exchange machine only lets you buy tokens worth 40 cents
>machines don't dispense change

At least they lowered the monthly and annual fees to account for the token profits.
>>
>>39602588
>being this new
>>
>>39602482
>>gym introduced a 'no singles' policy
Just roll dubs and show your gets to the receptionist
>>
>new gym policy
>to reduce crowding and equiptment wait times, gym will be issuing entrance tickets (worth a session of 4 hours of gym time each, can't split time between sessions)
>only get two tickets per week
>peak hours are still as popular and crowded as ever

just heck my shit up
>>
Tfw can't afford gym tokens
>>
>>39602482
>need a facebook account to log in to the plate dispenser
>>
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>>39602482
>the credit card doesn't work on the new barbell dispenser
>Have to use dumbbells
>>
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>Local gym suddenly terminated my membership, and won't sign me up again until I pay for a police background check and give them a "I will not objectify women in the gym" deposit

>tfw this could have all been avoided if I just tipped the damn receptionist.
>>
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>gym adds gratuity to the check now
>>
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>Mfw I finally got a state gym license but it turns out I also need a county gym license to work out
>>
>>39602947
Tell your bank to stop being shit and give you a chipped card already. Unless you enjoy getting your card skimmed at the gym's ATM?
>>
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>barely passed the gyms mandatory penis inspection
>>
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>gym raised the fee of joining the gym locals

I will never be one of them
>>
>>39604401
>tfw no state reciprocity for my gym license
>>
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>>39604401
> tfw received state and county gym license but Department of Natty Gains needs 3-5 business days to process my routine
>>
>>39602482
>can no longer use my hard earned stripper money for plate tokens

Abs are still good tier tho
>>
> enter gym
> receptionist signs off on my routine
> tip her the suggested $2 gratuity
> head to the squat racks
> suddenly alarms go off
> I forgot to take my mandatory pre-squat shower
> also forgot that squats are tomorrow, it's deadlifts today
> banned from gym while under investigation for routine negligence and gains fraud
>>
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>gym installed a new twink in the shower
>mfw thinking of all the test im gonna get from plowing his tight hole
MAKING IT
>>
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>mfw i have to become a lvl 9000 warlock on wow before the barbells unlock
>mfw im only allowed to use dumbells for flyes and kegel excersises
>mfw dont have the money for wow because of all the damn tokens
>>
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>>39602562
>warm up with pistol squats elsewhere in the gym
>go to the rack and do a single windowmaker set of 20
Nice try
>>
>going to comercial gyms
>>
>>39605386
i laughed way harder at this than i should have.
>>
>sign up for gym
>"okay now I need your Facebook account (with 500 friends to prove you're using a real account) to join our social group online
>>
Can someone tell me whats going on?
>>
>>39605699
Fuck off arab, only American gyms can post here

~Trump Crew~
>>
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>>39605386
HELP SOMEBODY HELP

IM BEING ROBBED
>>
>gym introduced female only hours
>finally get to wear my pretty dresses
>i'm a guy
>>
>>39602588
>>39602888
>>39604477
>>39604488
>>39604533
>>39605699
looks like you fellas don't have to worry about the no singles policy
>>
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>>39602482
>Gym stopped serving crabs legs at the candy bar
>>
Lol do any of you guys seriously not tip your receptionist? Everyone I know throws at least a couple bucks to the guy before leaving.
>>
>>39606101
>male receptionist
You know, I used to be against that sort of thing but the gay gym near my place has a much better environment than the co-ed gym I used to go to.
>>
>>39606101
Forgetting to tip the receptionist is just a /fit/ meme. I guarantee you that everyone who jokes about forgetting to tip them hasn't actually ever done this
>>
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>gym membership requires mandatory social media account checks
>minimum of two required
>profile pictures must be of you with your full legal name
>>
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>walk into gym
>Don, Aman still stuck on loop, because PA control room still quarantined after the gym DJ contracted gyno
>set off natty alarm and get tackled by on-duty SwoleSec
>hastily strip-and-cavity searched in front of whole reception center
>SwoleSec inspects shaker and finds my protein and scoop count is not what was written on my membership registration form
>tfw access clearance downgraded indefinitely to light cardio levels of gym while my gains and routine are audited
>>
>>39606545
If you think that's bad I had my gains confiscated after the gains cops found the creatine stash I hid in my asshole.
>>
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>gym requires penis inspection to use the squat rack because of 6" above only rule.
>>
>>39606545
>lifting to Slint or post-rock in general

Love them both, but damn that sounds like a shitty combo
>>
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>didn't vote
>not allowed to use the gym for the next 4 years
>>
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>Gym bully switched out my regular plates for negative plates at the squat rack while I went for a drink at the water fountain.
>As I go down and push to come back up for my first rep I shoot up into the ceiling.
>>
>>39606786
That's the price of living in a fitocratic republic, buddy. If you're not willing to perform your civic duty, you can fuck right off.

Get your shit together and you can apply for reinstatement at the mid-terms.
>>
>>39606871
Ok, so we all know that cardio kills gains, and that negative weigh gives negative gains. WHAT IF you did sets of 12+ reps with negative weight? Would you get shredded? Or lose double the gains?
>>
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>>39602598
8/10
>>
>gym has a no pringles policy
>>
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>gym supervisor catches me not wiping the barbell with a sanitary wipe after each rep
>revokes my water fountain pass for a week
>>
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>about to open the free access coffin for my bodyweight routine
>they haven't changed the corpse in one week

Seriously considering switching gyms
>>
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>Only squat rack replaced with Smith machine
>>
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>only smith machine replaced with a squat rack
>>
>>39606980

Don't you mean a curl rack?
>>
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>post-ironic memes
>>
You are stroking your beard, trying to come up with an original shitpost.
>>
>only smith machine replaced with a smith machine
>>
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>get to the gym first thing in the morning
>doofus who closed last night forgot to charge the plates
>>
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>tipping the bajoran receptionist
>>
>>39602670
Kek
>>
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>>39606980
Only squat machine replaced with a smith rack
>>
>want to use restroom at gym
>only women, blacks, gays and Transgender sign

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>
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>gym now has mandatory penis inspections in the showers
>>
>>39602562
>paying for lifts
>not using free weights
Enjoy your nogainz
>>
>>39607445
holy kek
>>
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>>39607445
WOW
>>
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>got a ticket for leaving my bag on the floor
>>
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>>39607445
Goddamn
>>
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>go to pull up bar
>pay 1$ to remove the locked spike strip around the bar so I can use it
>accidentally exceed the 2 rep limit and have to pay another dollar just to continue
Didn't even have enough money to pay when it was my turn to use the gym jukebox
>>
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>>39602693
pfft
>>
>>39604809
had the same problem just take some creatine before you go in the gym and the bodyscanners will sort you as a roider. the backdoor room in the gym is the best anyway.
>>
>>39607445

nice.
>>
>>39602817
>tokens
What the fuck.
>>
>>39606898
you would slightly untrain the involved muscles.
>>
>>39607614
Wtf are negative weights? Am I fucking retarded? I googled this and nothing showed up. Is it what I'm picturing? That can't be possible
>>
>>39602835

Underrated post
>>
>>39607715
>Am I fucking retarded?
You got it
>>
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>doing squats
>going ass to grass
>dunk alarm explodes
>the gains sheriff kicks me out
>mfw
>>
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>>39607445

>free gym workout

OY vey muh shekels
>>
>>39607589
I know, I heard my gym upgraded to cards like they year they came out
>>
>>39607715

Daily reminder these are the people giving you advice
>>
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>gym cinema keeps playing suicide squat on repeat

it's been out for fucking months
>>
>>39606644
But that's the fastest mode of travel to your muscles, did you forget to pull the string like a dyel?
>>
>>39607715
how the fuck do you think people do assisted pullups? does your gym not have an assisted barbell rack?
>>
>got a ticket on the treadmill
>holding up traffic and no insurance
>gym supervisor towed my shoes
>>
is it weird to go to the movies alone?
>>
>gym introduced Penis Inspection Day
>>
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>tfw new gym see ayy hey doesn't let you bring friends
>>
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> needed only 5 more overall sets at the Smith machine to unlock barbell for benching
> gym increased the set requirement from 500 to 1000
>>
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>when you nearly drown in the gym lake while trying to show off to your wife's son and the lake falcon has to rescue you
>when you forget to tip him so he drops you back in
>>
>>39608653
>tfw the newcomer tries to bring friends without registering them in the gym plan you filed with the a-gym-see
>>
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>have to order expensive checks from bank because that's all gym accepts in daily payments
>mandatory to verbalize liability waiver on gym speaker microphone before entering every day
>minimum 20 minute warmup time in designated area or you're not allowed in actual gym, leaving the reception desk area overcrowded at times
>mouth swab at door before entering and before leaving
>>
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>>39606968
>enter virtual gym
>all the machines have been replaces by Smiths
>have to fight my way out to tip the receptionist

For the fees I pay on this thing
>>
>>39608785
What am I supposed to do with virtual gains?
>>
>Only given 2 bullets with new gun policy at gym
>Go fucking ballistic on the receptionist, demand that I get the normal 6 shots I paid for in my policy
>Finally gym staff compromises and gives me 4 bullets
>Walk out of gym
>Get shot

Fucking burgerland
>>
>>39608728
>member plan only lists me, my men, and dr. gains
>but only one of you
>>
>>39608777
>can't enter the locker room until you get trips
>>
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>Skipped over for cardiobunny gf assignment once again

THEY CAN'T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH THIS
>>
>all these people complaining about penis inspections
As long as your gym's inspector is properly licensed, what are you complaining about? It's one less errand you have to run each week.
>>
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>>39607445
BEST POST
E
S
T

P
S
T
>>
>>39606957
Kek
>>
>>39608928
>Not getting mom to perform biweekly inspections

Homeinspection masterrace
>>
>>39609957
I had to give my mom the boot because she wasn't tipping my receptionist roommate. Tough break, but you gotta draw a line somewhere.
>>
>>39606101
wtf is a receptionist at a gym and why the hell would I tip him? also what's with the guys here talking about gym licences and paying for machines? I can't sort the memes out anymore REEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>
>put tokens in the squat rack
>warm up with bar
>auto scorer gives me three cherries
>jackpot dispenses gains all over the floor
>rush to pick them up, don't rerack barbell properly
>bangs onto the floor
>ejected by gymarshal, gains confiscated
>>
>>39606741
Haha I'm listening to Do Make Say Think right now. They'd be shit to listen to in the gym though.
>>
>>39610010
They're the ones who jack you off after a gym session.
>>
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>gym installs an autism detector at the door
>>
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>tfw gym military junta was overthrown by marxist rebels and now I have to distribute my gains among the proletariat
>>
>>39602610
holy fuck this is basically me last year
>>
>>39607715
Duh they're filled with helium you fucking twat
>>
>"Have a good workout!"
>You too
>>
>>39610133
Nice, you managed to grow to 5'3
>>
>>39602693
one question: if it's your home gym, who are "they"?
>>
>gym introduce a no virgins policy
>all your bros at work go to the same gym as you
>you can't just make an excuse and change gyms
>have to quit my job and move to another city in hopes they don't find out
>the find out anyway and remove me from all social media
>>
>>39608813
your mind makes them real
which also means you need to be careful-- you snap in the Matrix, you snap for real
>>
>>39607041
tell me about your sexual lifts
>>
>>39602712
kekd
>>
>>39610234
They always knew anon, there's no way to hide it.
>>
>occasionally browse the reddit foreveralone board mainly to see hopefully a story about guys breaking out of it to have hope for myself
>see post there today
>guy goes on date with girl, they have a great time, go on second date, etc
>goes in to hug her at the end but she goes in for a kiss
>he kisses her for like 5 seconds
>she breaks off, says that the kiss is really bad
>he confesses it was his first kiss

>she says she had the same situation with a guy before where it was his first kiss and it turned out badly due to that so she basically says "thanks for the great few nights, and you're a great guy, sorry it has to end like this"
>guy has a great few dates with a girl and she breaks it off with him because of a bad kiss

>i now consider suicide
>>
>>39607866
No NFC payments? Are you African?
>>
Can a dyel come in?
>>
>>39610307
Oh, good, I always knew maxing my STR was a good idea.
>>
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> gym hired a new butt hole inspecter who raised the minimum anus diameter to to 4in
>>
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>>39611437
>MFW when over qualified
>>
>gym introduces a 3 (you)'s minimum policy
>>
>>39608785
Kek
>>
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>Hit three plate squat at gym yesterday
>feel really good
>Go home to /fit/ and hear about holes in the plate making the plate weigh less
>These are my gym plates

Fuck i'm probably only squatting 1pl8, I'm never gonna make it
>>
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>gym introduced a no "bloated dips" policy.
>tfw i can no longer get my dip on
>>
>>39610225
(((they)))
>>
>>39608847
FIRST ONE TO SQUAT 3PL8 GETS TO STAY IN MY GYM
>>
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>finally birthday
>mom takes me to gym
>all my friends and family are invited
>we go in and order pizza, tokens dispense from the machine
>mommy can I go lift now?
>not yet anon you have to eat first
>food finally comes
>winterbulk so 2 pizzas
>mushroom is my favorite so I pick some str8 off my back and put on pizza
>go to sip machine and get anabolic creatine
>mommy can I go lift they are already lifting
>sure
>she gives me my tokens and cotton candy flavored whey
>bring my sips along with me
>try to enter tunnel thing but they say only manlets allowed
>whatever
>go to squat machine
>shove in tokens
>SELECT DIFFICULTY
>hmm, already took my pre-workout
>select 5 pl8
>weights dispense from the machine
>load it up
>weight on my back
>DOWN, UP
>tickets come out of machine
>DOWN, UP
>moar tickets
>starting to get light headed
>DOWN
>legs feel spaghetti
>UP
>WE'RE GONNA MAKE IT
>DOWN
>GAINZ HERE I COME
>UPPPPPPPPPPPP
>blackout
>wakeup
>staff is telling me to wipe equipment down, there is fungus all over bar
>pizza kicked in
>I actually shit my pants
>people are amazed that I broke the record on the machine but staff reset scores daily
>I get my tickets and bolt to ticket counter
>I WANT MY GAINZ
>only 1 gainz left and there is a line behind me
>sips makes me want to PP
>can't let dyels get gainz so I stay in line
>lanklets are taking a LONG time picking prizes
>not surprised
>really have to go #1
>WEEWEE TIME RIGHT NOW
>release puddle on the floor
>give tickets for my gainz
>mommy mommy, look what I got
>time to go home
>as I go to exit I remember it's polite to tip
>give some 1 pound plates
>thank you good sir
>go to take a step
>slip from piss puddle
>drop gainz
>rat picks them up
>mfw I remember that chuck never lets you get away with his casein

yuck diseases, where ya skid ran pee and slid
>>
>>39612549
Kek, is this a copy pasta or OC
>>
>>39605814
Underrated post
>>
>gym removed ashtrays from bars last year.
>a couple of months ago they swapped out the twink locker room gimps for female models.
>next week they're going to remove the manlet maze to make room for a cardio theater.
why even live anymore.
>>
>>39612549
What the fuck
>>
>>39610234
I feel like its not that hard to tell whose a virgin past the age of like 18
>>
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>>39612549
>>39612576
straight out of the oven
>>
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>when your official proposal to change the gym motto to "LIGHTWEIGHT BABY" is rejected
>>
>arrive at gym
>tell the routine manager that I'll be doing SS today, and it's deadlift day
>forget to tell him that I need to include a few warmup sets and mobility exercises
>fuck that, i'll get away with it
>start doing warmups with the barbell only
>lifting manager shouts over at me "YOU DIDN'T ARRANGE FOR WARMUPS"
>ohshit
>jump out of my skin and bar falls off my back
>makes loud noise exceeding 100db
>get my lifting pass revoked and forced to do hard labor for 2 weeks
>>
>>39612680

O-oh I see
>>
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>>39612549
holy fuck are you a professional memer or something
>>
>>39612549
>try to enter tunnel thing but they say only manlets allowed
holy fuck i piss myself every-time i remember this thread.
>>
>>39610438
I don't think you understand what is going on in this thread
>>
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>can't even look towards planet fitness without the lunk alarm going off
>>
>>39610438

what are you doing kid
>>
>>39602482
Do doubles
>>
>>39602889
>Brother lends me his Facebook account
>Get arrested as I come out of locker room for identity theft
>Tell them I forgot my password
>They let me go and fine me $300
>Get my max reduced by 50lbs for the next two months as probation
>>
>old plates are already worn out
>order new plates for home gym
>they arrived today
>rubber plates
C-can I get gains with rubber plates? I've been previously using only different metal plates, made most gains with chrome-plated iron plates. I've also experimented with cast-iron plates but they weren't too good.
>>
>>39607715

>didn't read the sticky

newfag plz go
>>
>>39612549

Same
>>
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>>39612609
>manlet maze
Kek
>>
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>gym got rid of the HEIGHT extension, FACE pull and FRAME press machines
>>
>>39610116
Isnt that just where they just put a qt3.14 gym receptionist at the front door?
>>
>>39602482

sounds like a bad business plan tbqh
>>
>>39611728
Lisp users, got it
>>
>>39604898
How much am I supposed to tip the gym twink?
>>
>>39615381
Depends on your girth
>>
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>gym now keeps dumbbells in a glass case and you have to ask an attendant to unlock it for you
>attendant is NEVER around
>>
>>39615381
You don't tip, you stick the whole thing in
>>
>>39612549
Lol are you the same guy that does these on /r9k/??
>>
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>>39607276
Only rack machine replaced with a smith squat
>>
>>39612014
TELL ME ABOUT SCOOB, WHY DOES HE WEAR THE HAT
>>
>>39608570
Keks were had
>>
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>wear my old gym clothes underneath the regulatory workout gear
>use squat rack without while not having class 3 squat papers
>put weights away in the wrong order
>mfw I pay the on duty lift inquisitor daily with creatine to look the other way
>>
>no change for the plate dispenser
>plate caddy is off sick
>almonds were only 60% activated
Worst gym session ever
>>
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>>39602482
don't need to worry
>>
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>>39610438
>>
>tfw gym deactivated gravity again
>>
>walk into gym
>receptionist stops me
>"sir, I just need you to prove you aren't a gainsbot real quick"
>she shows me three images
>"which of these is the store front?"
>"middle"
>"good, now I'm going to keep replacing the image, and you tell me to stop when the new image isn't a store front"
>thirty minutes later every image has been a storefront so I give up and go home
>>
>>39617317
Pssst... enable legacy captcha
It was a kek worthy post though
>>
>gym now has a pay-per-rep pricing policy
>can only afford singles with no warm up
>mental images of the confused doctor meme whenever I lift now
>>
>tfw missed the monthly safety meeting
>get this email from the gym manager
>>
>>39617418
Big Guy Fitness, well meme'd
>>
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>>39602482
looks like we'll have to go for these then huh
>>
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>gym started placing restrictions on shower twink usage

>first 6" dick or longer
No problem..I'm safe..too bad microcock lel
>Manditory 1 nut per day limit
Ok fine I better make it count
>to make room for minorities white cis men only allowed in at certain times
What the actual guys
>shower twinks now just get pounded by bbc all day
>my 6 inch averagedick no longer touches the insides of twinks ass because it's so tore open
mfw
>>
>>39617493
Actually it's Dig Guy Fitness. The only gym that caters exclusively to miners.
>>
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>Gym's falconry is closed for weekly maintenance
>>
>>39602482
>being so cheap you only tip the cashier with singles.
>>
>>39618995
Kek
>>
>Gym fridge has no sips

>they only let you take 3 scoops max from the protein tub before the lunk alarm goes off
>>
>gym doubled the price for 1/2/3/4 lifts
>it's going to take me another year to afford it
fuck being poor man
>>
>>39615469
>not curling the entire case
LMFAO NO GAINS
>>
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>>39615758
onl rack mak rplased with skwit skwat
>>
>take my seat nice and early
>movie starts
>attendant approaches me
>he wants to clean out the birdcage above me
>have to stand up while he cleans it out
>guy behind can't see and starts swearing at me
>bird gets pissed off and starts screeching and rattling the cage
>spills water dish on the woman in front of me
>everyone in the cinema has stopped watching the movie and is turning and glaring at me
>attendant finally finishes up and lets me sit down again
>have a sip of my drink
>it's full of bird seed
>>
>>39612549
vrey well, you have brought /tv/ here
>>
>Go to Theatre downtown
>Brought my falconette (Lisa) to get past the no singles policy (We're common law married)
>They let me in no problems
>No Theater operator is Muslim and has banned popcorn because it's not halal
>I ask for some sort of replacement snack
>He pulls a huge, 20 pound bag of imported, uncooked rice onto the counter
>He fills my cup with dry grains of rice and tells me it's just a s good
>Okay fine, I take it but I ask for some Live Mice to feed Lisa, my wife
>Mice are halal too (what the fuck?)
>Ask for another replacement
>He gives me some live Death's-head Hawkmoths, "the jew of the animal world" (???)
>Take Lisa and out snacks to the shower room
>Men's showers are broken so I have to use the birdbath with Lisa
>It's dirty, stagnant, and filled with litter
>Finally get to out seats after our gross bath
>Jem and the Holograms, things seem good so far
>Liza DOES NOT like the moths, I try to calm her down but she starts screeching and circling, looking for prey (luckily it was only us in the theater)
>I try eating the rice grains, it's fucking hard
>halfway through the flick I get the "grumpy dumpies"
>Run to the bathroom and shoot buckshot out my ass because of the undigested rice
>I pass out from rectal bleeding in the stall
>Lisa found me 4 hours later
>Get fined for the mess: $5,000 plus 75% tip

it was a good time
>>
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>go to see Spectre alone
>pick my favorite bike: 8th row, third to the left
>start peddling to power up the movie
>couple walks in, really hot girl
>the guy sits next to me and the girl mounts him and they start to fuck on the bike seat
>decide to leave and hit the bench press down in front
>put too much weight on and snap my fucking arms in half
>let out a blood curdling scream
>people get annoyed and start throwing popcorn at me
>get up and leave without taking a shower
>city fines me for being smelly in public

Heard Spectre was a disappointment though. Did I miss out?
>>
>>39607445
very clover
>>
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>>39620535
>>
>>39602712
Not a problem for me luckily ;)
>>
>>39610132
fuck you anon, this is the one that got me.
>>
>live in a rich area
>go to gym
>5 or 6 rich guys are already sitting there and flash me shit eating grins
>they've paid professional athletes to do their strength training for them
>...fuck it I'm still going to work out
>have to work in with the professional powerlifters who lift me up as a joke and smack me on the ass

god I hate being poor
>>
>>39620535
this is..... something else.

What's up with the falcons?
>>
>>39621661

its a /tv/ meme
>>
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>Head to gym to make sick gains
>Notice local mentally challenge man benching 5 pound dumbells
>Whatever works for him, I'll just get my lifting done a bench over
>Autist attempts take flight by flapping his arms wildly, drops one of the dumbells that then rolls over by my foot.
>Grins at me
>Shouts "OOPS THAT WENT BANANAS" and runs away.
>MFW
>>
>>39612549
Please tell me this is OC?!
>>
>>39615777
No one cared who I was, till I put on 5pl8s
>>
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>>39602482
>go to local track so my heart does not fail out on me
>cardiobunnies already running
>alright, get some cardio and even motivation for free as I chase all that tight ass
>heads immediately turn in my direction as I approach the gate, they must sense my awkward bigfoot stomps
>one of them looks down on my shoes in disgust
>leader bunny approaches and the others quickly encircle me
>immediately get a boner from the scent of sweat and skin lotion
>headbunny whispers something to the others and talks to me
>"we only allow experienced people here"
>"I c-c-can run" I mumble trying to hide my erection
>"lets see, are you stable?" she says and another bunny gives me a kick in the leg
>my untrained knees nearly snap, but I manage to keep standing
>suddenly feel someone grabbing my arms
>two twinks hug my arms and hang themselves on them
>lightweight baby
>think about freeing myself with a mighty roar, but realize that moving my arms would cause me to touch their dicks
>no homo man
>suddenly realize I am getting pushed around by the infamous cardiobullies
>leader has a mischievous grin and asks: "how about endurance?"
>I feel hands on my ass and my shorts get pulled down
>my dick flips out hard enough to kill a horse with it
>one of the bunnies gasps and whispers "this one is going to inhibit movement"
>"and shift the centre of mass" another one says
>"we have to do something about it, cant let a beginner run with such a "handicap"" some giggling voice in the back replies
>bunny leader takes off her top and starts stroking my dick :"I did not have time for my milkshake today" she says while giving me a wink
>I start shaking as I feel the twinks dicks pressing my forearm
>"P-please don't"
>some girl starts a timer as leadbunny starts to suck me off
>the intense bloodflow to my dick nearly makes me pass out as she gets into her runners high and swallows it with the force of a 5000 Watt vacuum
>>
>>39623087


>I gasp for air and some girl tells me to breathe through the nose as she sticks her tongue in my throat
>the whole gang keeps shouting for me to keep going as I get close to 4 minutes
>I can barely feel my legs at this point because they have barely any blood left through a vicious ball massaging, tongue twirling technique
>this bitch does not even take a break to breathe
>I finally give in and unload in her throat while letting out a girly cry
>she swallows and gets up
>"welcome to the track faggot" she shouts in my ear as she slaps my ass
>I fall over into the dirt and sob over my lost gains and dignity
>find jizz stains on my arms later

Fuck cardio desu.
>>
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>>39623087
>>39623161
Some of you people worry me
>>
>tfw my gym allows me to bring my gym falcon instead of another person
>>
>>39605284
kek
>>
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>>39607445
lmao anon
>>
>>39623161
>jesus kek
>>
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>forgot to tip the squat rack concierge
>banned from gym
>>
>>39623304
Who goes through the effort to type some shit like that? Makes me nervous to make conversation with the bros at my gym.
>>
>>39622015
>>39623087
>>39623161
>>39623304
>>39623832
lmao
>>
>>39607445
>Things that will be in the screencap
>>
>>39615469
>Everytime I ask for a heavier set of dumbbells the attendant gives me the ol' up down look
>Loudly and sarcastically asks me me infront of the senior gym bros "ARE U SUREEEE??"

Just make it end already senpai
>>
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>Tfw they're doing a new penis inspection, because they lost the old files in a freak almond activation accident

>They're going to find out my dick is now hanging lower than my balls
>>
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>walk into gym
>see free bench
>adjust it 90 degrees
>guy next to me stares at my 270 degree bench
>fuckin dyel
>load a barbell with bwx3
>get comfortable on bench
>that first decline shrug of the day
>>
So, I googled no singles policy and this: Don't click without protection http://veekyforums.com/thread/39602482/health/gym-introduced-a-no-singles-policy.html

was in the results. It's literally this thread word for word but in a traditional forum and all the posters have names. First time I've seen this. Weird as fuck.
>>
>>39602603
It's a vicious cycle.
>>
>>39626891
I can't tell if newfag or not.
>>
>>39626891
I've seen it before too but I've assumed it be either an archive or just that the NSA has too much free time on their hands.
Thread posts: 223
Thread images: 87


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