Yoga

I possess a willy

>>39578293
>falling for the yoga is just for girls meme

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>sign up for yoga class at my training facility
>it is included in the membership so why not
>just me and one other guy with like fifteen girls in the room
>recognize some of them from the gym area of the place also some of them cute
>session starts things seem clear
>do some breathing things and some basic positions
>was doing my usual gym training earlier and took my whey shake afterwards as usual
>feel belly rumbling
>straining to keep it in and manage for half an hour
>second to last position is the sunrise or whatever it is where you get on your belly and push up with your arms
>on my way up my anus gives in and a 'rrrrrrrrrrnnnnnnt' is released during five seconds
>try to keep focus but feel my face getting red
>the smell hits the room it's a grade a protein fart
>cute girls glaring at me and instructor can barely keep up appearances
>finish the session and hurry home
>find out next day i had my membership suspended at the gym for 'harassment'

>>39578586
hahahahaha oh god, how horrible

>>39578586
While we're greentexting things that never happened.
>At yoga
>Some girl walks up to me and grabs my arm and says "nice muscles anon"
>harrisonfordface.jpeg
>"I know"

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Because I have hideously ingrown toenails that scare people.


Can't take socks off in public. No sandals.....

:(

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>>39578747
You seriously need to do something about that.
Do you change your socks? Is your shoes tight? Do you know what baby powder is? Fucking hell you know your feet support everything right?

>>39578747
Holy fug

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Yeah they're clean and all. I just have terrible nail hygiene; clipping too too short.


It's an anxiety/depression thing. Haven't been able to shake it.

>>39578826
Try explaining to a friend that you need someone to beat the shit out of you every time youre an idiot.
>they're clean and all
the fuck they are anon

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>>39578826
If it makes you feel anybetter these are my nails

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>>39578747
>>39578826
>>39578912
The fuck guys what are you doin. I would treat you both like crack heads for having nails like that.

I cant wear yoga pants, it feels weird and they're mandatory

>>39578747
Put a plaster over it, no one will know.

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>>39578826
>>39578912
You know they are supposed to look like these?

>>39579428
those are some healthy looking toes anon

mirin the size of that big toe

>mfw this yoga thread is now a toe nail thread

>>39579441
takes just one post to derail a thread

>>39579435
After one ingrown toenail, I decided one time was one too many. Those beauty spas or pedicures are a good way to keep em beautiful and healthy

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While we're on the subject of disgusting toes...


Also


>Tfw stopped caring this year and started wearing sandals, fuck everyone

>>39579428

Other than your shoes being too tight and squishing your little toe in those are some well maintained piggies anon. I've been building myself up for a manicure and pedicure for a while now as I get wicked hangnails.

It's strange how I can do 1h15 of yoga 4-5 times a week but still find going to a spa imasculating.

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>>39579479
This whole fucking thread is now for degenerates. Stop doing crack nigger

>>39578747
Why aren't you at the physicians office now?

>>39579517
Think of it as preparation for finger banging chicks. Problem solved.

>>39579536

Never touched drugs in my life. Just terrible athlete's foot that no OTC medicine has cured, and now my big toe nail is turning black and thick as shit that makes it hard to clip.

I'm just afraid of looking stupid and clumsy in the beginning

>>39579428
>tfw foot fetish
post moar

>>39579734
I did 3 private lessons first, she was cool about my next level autism.

>>39578981
>>39578981
go somewhere else. I've been to about 5 yoga studios and never seen one have mandatory yoga pants.

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since this is now a jacked up feet/toes thread here is Lebron James feet

>>39579536
I wonder what mental defect I have that I can stop biting my nails if I care enough (done it for a few weeks) but I don't, so I chew them ragged.

>>39579961
Or just do it at home yourself and look up yoga routines on youtube

>>39580027
It's just a habit. Just stop it.

Take some advice from the god of comedy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ow0lr63y4Mw

>>39578586
Sure.

>>39579990
Is that real? Fucking disgusting

>>39580071

i love this skit

>>39578293
>>39578481
Reminder that throughout history, women were actually forbidden from practicing yoga. It's just that they're easy marketing targets in western capitalist secular society.

you guys with horrific toes need to see a fucking doctor, that shit's not natural. you probably have some sort of nutrient deficiency or even an organ issue, or wear debilitatingly shitty shoes. there's just no need for your feet to be that gross.

>>39578253
>Why aren't you doing yoga, /fit/?
I do a set of stretches every day and accomplish exactly the same improvement and maintenance to my flexibility without all the goofy woo-woo pseudo-spiritualistic clap-trap that comes with yoga. I get superior improvement to strength compared to yoga by going to the gym and lifting up heavy things and putting them down again, and repeating that many times. Then I get vastly superior aerobic endurance from training on my bike on non-lift days -- something you can't get from 'yoga'. So, your 'yoga' is a meme, and as such is to be ignored.

>>39578253
I'm doing a stretching routine most days of the week. I mean Yoga is basically stretching anyways

>>39579734

>being this insecure

I don't know how you'll cope with life, just end it right now