Serious question how to I achieve this mode?

Look up a blog that reads 600 going on 700. Dude is making great gains.

>>39506481
Only through the glory of the Emperor

>>39506481
if you're not already at least seven foot tall 400lbs you're not gonna make it

>>39506481
Easy.

Get 19 implanted organs.
Under go Chemical Treatment and Hypnotherapy.
and finally Indoctrination.

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>not staying natty

Can i ever achieve primearch mode?

You need a special gene seed.
Luckily I have just the thing no homo.

>>39506522
Broke out into a nice kek

Have you tried activating your almonds?

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>>39506481
SS + GOMAD

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>>39506522
"They will be of iron will and steely muscle."
-The Emperor

He demands it

>>39506660
top post

/thread

>>39506488
Ugh, feedee.

A strongman type workout is what you're going for. A powerlifter routine will get you great strength gains but you want to feel like an angel of death do manly things. Also pick up a martial art, go for something space marine like so look into HEMA or heavy weapon SCA. For the Emperor.

>>39506481
>Settling for manlet Astartes mode
>Not wanting to reach Custodes mode.

>>39506488
I keked

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Gotta leave your humanity

> Pic related

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>>39508599
>settling for DYEL custodes mode
>not going for demi-god Primarch mode

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>>39509581
>Settling for manlet Sangunius mode
>Not going for Vulkan or Magnus mode

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>>39509641
>wanting to be non-white

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>>39509641
>Not knowing the difference between Sanuinius and the Phoenician
>Implying being perfect is settling

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>>39506522
Alternatively be Iranian

>>39509694
It's just a really bad nuclear tan mang.

>>39506481
Wouldn't they be easier to shoot than a normal man? Skinny manlets reign supreme on the modern battlefield.

>>39509714
Alternatively have your body composition be 30% synthol.

>>39509697
Damn what a pleb, I always get those two mixed up.

>Implying Fulgrim isn't an edgy fag.

>>39506481
eat a lot, and tren everyday

sory for bad englis

>>39509746
Terminator armour, they become walking tanks. Normal power armour is shitty, so kinda. Also, their wounds insta-heal, so unless you have the ability to kill them in one go, you aren't going to kill them.

How do I into Grey Knight mode? How do I become the Emperors Hammer?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JjaYW5Cnr5k

>>39510090
Just be Mary Sue and sacrifice a bunch of SoB for stupid nonsense reasons.

>tfw Dreadnought mode

surprises me so many people actually know about this, hope most of you are relying on online wikis and not any stored info

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>>39509746
Skinny manlets would never survive the horrors of a battlefield in the 41st millenia.

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>>39506660
>implying anabolics aren't in widespread use amongst the catachan guard


All I want in life is to get swole and smite the enemies of mankind.

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>>39510472
they do

>>39509697
>you will never be as aesthetic as the Primarch Fulgrim, the greatest CHAD in the galaxy
>you will never make Slaanesh moist/hard

>>39510829
as if that puny gun going to put even a small dent

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>>39506481
>tfw not becoming a skull drone and get a qt 3.14 techpriest gf

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>>39509697
Wanting to literally be Joff.

Pls, go

>>39511114
>>39511111

>>39511114
>sanguinus and Zyzz both died like a bitch.
>while fulgrim and Jeff both live forever.

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>>39511502

>>39510501
>implying that the increased gravity on catachan also means that they're all manlets.
Higher gravity + manlet status + live on a planet that wants to kill you = only the high test survive

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>Be in gym two days ago
>Busy, only smith machine open
>As I approach, a bald manlet stares at me and speeds over to it
>As I ask to work in, suspicion comes over me
>Genestealer hybrid detected
>Takes sweet time until I leave after two sets for taking too long
>Emperor protect my gains
Pic related, fairly close to what he looked like

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>a surprisingly small amount of heretics in this thread
Has an Imperial Guard ever made it?
I want to serve the emperor for more than 1 campaign.

>>39513004
define "making it"?

>>39513101
>conquer worlds for emperor
>make gains for the god emperor
>spread stories of his glory through my gains
>married and making more soldiers for emperor
>die in victorious combat at ripe old age

>>39513101
> be me, Imperial Guardsman #900918928475930910394893
> Front line, lasgun, tyranid invasion, my first ever battle
> .0067 seconds later I am pureed into a pink smoothie by living breathing barbed wire locust swarm
> Made it!

>>39513196
>forcibly enlisted to defend the crumbling Imperium against ancient ayys, undying robots, barbaric greenskins, ravenous flesh eating swarms of teeth and literal hellspawns that are the stuff of your nightmares with standard issue lasgun.
>get shot in the head by the Commissar because you accidentally stepped back.

If you're not /fit/ enough to be selected by the Astartes you won't be making it.

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>>39513101
> Imperial Guardsman #891018348425930910394611
>one of my deployments
>Tis' time we are goin’ to accompany The Emprah and his AESTHETIC son so my test levels are through the roof
>Get separated from my squad during the teleport phase, I think we teleported to a battleship?
>Finally make it to their comm-deck
>See this MASSIVE guy ego-lifting, mumbling something about cookies
>AESTHETIC son is lying lifeless on the floor, his body engulfed by vapor
>MASSIVE guy finishes dl-ing lmao30kpl8 and stands up
>I see it in his eyes, he is going to curl, to curl in the squat rack
>Emperor save my soul
>Naw you don’t mister, I take up the rack hoping to prevent this heresy from happening
>”Hey m8, can I work in for my purely natty gains achieved through millennia of hard work” he says mockingly
>”Sure” I watch in terror as he loads up 40kpl8s “You don’t mind tis babby weight as a fellow natty, right?” my terror shifts to fury
>I go under the bar and stiffen up, I can’t do this
>Suddenly I feel an overreaching presence behind my back, it’s HIM, HE is watching
>I turn to the HUGE guy
>"Where I fall, ten more shall take my place! And one hundred each of them! So strike me down! I am the harbinger!"
>Last thing I hear is the sound of my back snapping

H-have I maded brehs?

>>39513726
>olanius pius pls

>>39509741
>"I am not black. I have revitiligo. Thas the opposite of what Michael Jackson's got!" -Vulcan

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>>39506660
17 hours life expectancy. :))

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>>39513726
I appreciate you anon

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>>39510416

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>>39510416
>Dreadnought mode

>>39513004
Ollanius "Balls weighing as much as two collapsed stars" Pius stood the motherfucking line.

>>39514748
Oh shit was it re- confirmed that he was just a guardsman?

>>39514923
No, they ruined it by making making him a perpetual and some other shit :/

>>39514949
>they ruined it by making making him a perpetual and some other shit :/

Seriously though. The whole point was that he was just a fucking regular gaurdsman with massive balls and unwavering loyalty. Leave it to GW to not even understand the lore for the miniatures they produce.

step 1: be below the age of 18 and live on a shitfest planet where every day is survival and/or be a strong and fierce warrior
step 2: pass trials including fights to the death against wild animals, ayyy lmaos, monsters and other recruits
step 3: survive 19 organ transplants plus drug injections and hypnosis session
step 4: ???
step 5: Praise the Emprah

>>39509830
>Terminator armour, they become walking tanks

>Have incredibly rare terminator armour
>Use all strength just being mobile in terminator armour
>Can make new space marines, cannot make new terminator armour
>Terminator armour gets literally cut in half in one hit by xenos

Why bother?

>>39516511
Well, that applies to pretty much every standard infantry unit in the 40K tabletop/universe
If you want more survivability pray to the emperor that you're epresented on the board by a plastic army man that's more expensive than the others.

geneseed x failure

>>39516511
Their armors support their movement by hydraulic power - someone in a terminator armor moves with incredible force and speed.
They don't "sacrifice" their strength to move in the armor.

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>tfw Great Unclean One mode

Have the God emperor create you in a lab through a strain of his own genetics.

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>>39506481
Be white.

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>>39517062
u wot m8

its impossible to achieve that unless you have a skeleton that is wide as fuck already.

>Not living on a comfy Agri-world
>Farming corn for the Emprah
>paying dem tithes, praying to the Emprah every night
>married to a qt and making imperium babies who will one day join the glorious imperial guard
>making natty gains from lifting all those sacks of corn

>>39517381
>not living in a feral world where the local fauna eat numales for breakfast

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>>39513726
My sides need purity seals

>>39517313
Okay, you can be a finn too

>>39506660
At least post a shock trooper when saying that

>>39506481
Aren't space marines augmented to make them super human?

>>39519138
Yes they are

>>39519138

yup for example: two hearts.

a rib plate imbued with metal alloys instead of a ribcage

>>39506660
haha nice one

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>>39513726
This was wonderful, stay swole brah.

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>tfw Nurgle mode
Never gonna make it

>>39506481
Square cube shit is gay and a ruiner of fun alongside of conservation of energy.

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>>39514423
Is this real ?

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Outta my way, Adeptus manlets, the galaxy's greatest Chad coming through

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How much do i need to squat before i get sororitas gf?

>>39509830
>Power armour
>kinda shitty
do you even fluff?

>>39522108
When you squat 4 pl8 the government sends you a sororitas gf in the mail.

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>>39522108
>sororitas
>gf

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Will a 6ft mon-keigh like me have a chance to get a Farseer gf?

>>39522176
Farseer gf is worst gainz gretchins

>>39522176
You a vindicare assasin?
Otherwise no.

>>39506481
Accept your sires gene seed

>>39509830
Normie's can kill marines easy as shit. It's a running joke in gaunts ghost that some dude managed to get a las round through a dreads eye socket and killed the shit.

Genes

Is dow 2 alive?

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who's gonna be your gymbro/qt in the grim darkness of the far future?

>>39507988
underrated post

>>39522239
Is this some story I haven't heard?

>>39522760
Knowing nothing about this lore I'm thinking the Khornate.

>>39523735
Can love bloom on the battlefield?

>>39522760
Khornate Berzerker, easy.

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>>39522353

>>39522333
Trips speaks the truth.

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>>39514748
Truly the hero we should all aspire to be.

>LOOK AT THIS FUCKING GUARDSMAN.
He's spent months fighting a grueling war in which his enemies are demigods allied with daemons, and now he's found himself in the closest thing to Hell he's ever known. He probably wasn't even supposed to get teleported up to the arch-traitor's battle barge in the first place, and just ended up in the wrong place at the worst possible time.

>Somehow he's survived horrors beyond comprehension to make his way to the very bridge of Horus' flagship. He saw a veritable angel call upon Horus to answer for his crimes, and he saw that angel die as messily as any guardsman. His Emperor - who he fervently believes is a god incarnate, even if he's not supposed to - lies mortally wounded, and Horus, perhaps, has taken a moment to gloat before he strikes the killing blow.

>His armor is slightly more effective than tissue paper, his weapon slightly more powerful than a flashlight. A single electrified claw from Horus' weapon is bigger than his entire body. He stands before a being infused by the dark gods' with incalculable power, that can and will obliterate his soul with no more effort than it would take him to swat a gnat. Nothing he can do could possibly make a difference.

>He could run. He could turn his weapon on himself. He could give in to the insidious whispers that echo from the ship's corridors into his mind.

>Ollanius Pius does the duty his Emperor requires of him. He dies standing and holds the fucking line.

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>>39506488

>>39524451
>a 375lb tub of shit can get a girlfriend
>i'm 200lbs, in the fucking military, and am a kv

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>galaxy of fantasy......

>>39524479
Standards - he held very low ones

>>39522158
>Procreating and advancing the pure human gene
>Doing so with emperor devoted warriors
>Heresy

You won't be tricking us this time, chaos filth

>>39524479
>wanting a 300+lb girlfriend
u tried talking to girls at ALL???

>>39524636
I live on a training base that's probably 75% male.

There's one girl in my class.

I have no friends because for my whole life I was ambulocetus outcast.

All I do is work or lay around my room.

Any girl that talks to me I assume is just being nice, no matter how much she laughs at my dumb jokes or takes the initiative to talk to me.

So. No not really.

>>39517381
Yeah, until any manner of xenos or heretics turn it into a hellscape.

>>39517381
>not living in that beastworld full of catgirls and getting that feline pussy
You're never going to make it.