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Fuck the Sticky, fuck SS, fuck GOMAD

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Thread replies: 12
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>ALRIGHT LEMME JUST DIDDLY THESE HERE 4PL8 LOL FUNCTIONAL STRENGTH AND ENDURANCE, AS IF I PLAY SPORTS, AESTHETICS PFFT WHO WANTS A GOOD BODY LIFTING FOR WOMEN AMIRITE, I JUST CHUG GALLONS OF MILK AND LIFT REALLY HEAVY SHIT WHILE BLOWING OUT MY JOINTS SO I CAN TELL PEOPLE ON AN ANIME BOARD THAT I DIDDLY HEAVY AND TO READ THE STICKY GOD DAMN I WISH I WEREN'T SUCH A FAT GREASY FUCK BUT OH WELL THE STICKY SAYS TO FOLLOW MARK RIPPLETITS' RIPPLESPLITS!! WHOOPS, IT'S BEEN 5 MINUTES, TIME TO DOWN ANOTHER INDUSTRIAL SIZE TUB OF WHOLE MILK, WELL ANYWAYS OFF TO GO SPEND 10 MINUTES AT THE GYM DIDDLYING 3 SETS OF 1, DAMN IT FEELS GOOD TO BE A FAT SLOVENLY SHIT WITH FUCKED UP ELBOWS, KNEES, HIPS AND VERTIBRAE WHO TRAINS FOR STRENGTH WITH NO INTENTION OF GOING INTO COMPETITION OR PUTTING IT TO USE IN ANYTHING I DO IN EVERYDAY LIFE, I READ THE MEME STICKY ON A FUCKING ANIME IMAGE BOARD OF ALL PLACES, I'M A FITNESS EXPERT, I KNOW THESE THINGS, NOW STOP QUESTIONING ME, I NEED TO CHISEL THE CURDLED MILK CRUST FROM UNDERNEATH MY CHIN FOLDS

Every time someone comes on here with a question, there's always some jackass that parrots this meme shit "READ THE STICKY" instead of actually providing any useful information to person asking the question. They probably already DID read the fucking sticky because it's at the top of the fucking page, but there's so little useful information there that they ask for help, and the only reason these "read the sticky" dumbfucks take a break from chiseling curdled milk crust from their chin folds is to parrot that garbage as opposed to providing said help is because they think it makes them sound like some kind of /fit/ veteran, when the reality is that they themselves only know what the sticky says and thus they don't know jack shit about fitness and are ultimately incapable of providing any real answers.
Let's go over the sticky's diet and exercise sections, because at the end of the day, that's what it's all about.
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>>39457146
>Diet
It doesn't tell you what kind of foods you should be eating. Just that you should eat and balance out carbs, protein, etc and stop chugging 2 liters of soda and downing tubs of ice cream. Well no fucking shit. I can't believe there's 2 whole fucking paragraphs dedicated to soda and ice cream, as if it's some kind of revelation that these things are unhealthy. Again, no fucking shit. Everyone already knows this. Then it goes on to tell you to stop eating junk food...AGAIN, no fucking shit! This isn't proper dietary advice, it's common knowledge.
Then it goes on to say that most people start by cutting all that out...well then it's clearly common knowledge as I said and it really wasn't necessary to waste 3-4 paragraphs telling people to cut out food they'd already know to cut. Nobody has ever needed a dietician to tell them that guzzling Mountain Dew was bad for them.
Then it goes on to describe various macronutrients without actually providing a good list of healthy foods that would provide said macronutrients and how to calculate your body's needs. The carbs section basically once again says that soda and junk food is bad , the protein section does provide SOME useful info in the way of saying that you should look at getting at least 1g per pound of bodyweight before going on to shill ON whey powder, the fats section somehow fails to mention peanut butter. So the carbs section says there's 4 calories per gram of carbs. Great, how do I know how many carbs I should take in? Dunno, it doesn't say. Same thing with fats, it doesn't say how much you should get. This part is a fucking waste of time.
Ah, here we go, a section with some foods listed...aaaand it's all bulking food. High calorie, high carb shit. What about the person who isn't looking to gain weight? And for some reason, the motherfucker that wrote this must hate peanut butter or some shit because it's STILL not here. Eat your goddamn peanut butter, folks.
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>>39457146
>>39457156
>Exercise
This shit already slaps me in the face with a whole lotta stupid by lumping all weightlifting into one thing and refusing to cover training for muscular endurance, aesthetics or functional strength. It lumps it all together as if they're all the same thing. At the end of the day, yes, you're always picking things up and putting them down but for the love of god, there's different methods of training and this section covers none of them.
Instead it gives you a bunch of beginner bullshit from baby's first workout class that anyone who would be on /fit/ would probably have already seen on youtube or bodybuilding.com. There is not one person coming on /fit/ that is legitimately clueless as to what a bench press is.
Then it goes on to say that you can sub barbells out for dumbbells and it'll be the same...yes, you can sub them for a lot of excercises, but there will be minor variations in terms of what muscles are being utilized and how they're being hit. This is all very beginner shit and I could have written this on my first day of lifting. There is no real knowledge here that couldn't have been found on a site anybody who comes on /fit/ hadn't already seen a million times. Might as well just say "To get big and strong, you should lift weights." Oh wait, it does say that almost word for word. Again, no fucking shit.
It then gives you some bullshit meme strength routine put together by a guy with a goddamned beer belly, followed by a few others, all targeted towards pure strength training. Yeah, that's great and all, but what if I just want to look better? What if I want that aesthetic bodybuilder physique? Looks like I'm shit out of luck, nothing about bodybuilding or hypertrophy training here. What if I'm an aspiring athlete and I'd like to increase my muscular endurance so I don't burn out quickly? Looks like I'm shit out of luck here too, nothing about endurance. Nothing about splits either. Just entry level meme routines.
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>>39457146
>>39457156
>>39457180
Oh, but don't forget to stretch. Real glad you provided that fucking gem of a tip as opposed to covering different types of training you fucking pinhead.
Nearly everything here sounds like it was written by a beginner. This supposed bastion of fitness information is nothing more than a crockpot of dehydrated monkey anus trying to pass itself off as foei gras. Seriouly, fuck the sticky. You'll find more useful answers on the first page of google.
Here, I'll invalidate the sticky in the next couple posts:
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>>39457146
>>39457156
>>39457180
>>39457194
IIFYM.com, use the TDEE calculator to calculate the amount of calories and macronutrients your body will need. There are other various macro calculators online if you want a second opinion. Want to gain weight? Take the number of calories you're given in the results and add 500. Want to lose weight? Do the same but this time subtract 500.
What foods to eat? For bulking, brown rice, black beans, sweet potatoes, raisins, bananas and pasta are your best friends. These are all healthy carb dense foods. Eat your bananas or raisins post-workout. For anything else, oats, peanut butter, greek yogurt, cottage cheese, spinach, peas, edamame, granola, string cheese and whole grain bread are all foods that will provide some kind of benefit, often in the way of protein. Now that you know your macros and have a decent size list of clean foods, you can build your own meal plan accordingly.
Let's go over training. Training for strength? Low volume, heavy weight, low reps. 5x5, PPL etc. Training for aesthetics? High volume, medium weight. Rep range 8-12. Look into pyramid sets, drop sets and splits. Training for endurance? High volume, low weight. Rep range 12+, just keep pushing your body to sustain itself. Want to increase cardiovascular endurance? High intensity interval training. Want to burn fat? Sustained cardio; you don't need a gym for this, just go for a fucking run. I also advise doing yoga no matter what you're training for. I personally like DDP Yoga.
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>>39457146
>>39457156
>>39457180
>>39457194
>>39457202
If you're interested in bodybuilding or just getting that Zyzzthetic look, there's plenty of ways to figure out what your ideal measurements are. Google the golden ratio and use it to calculate your ideal measurements.
Calculate your ideals with this formula based off legendary bodybuilder Steve Reeves... https://www.muscleandstrength.com/tools/ideal-measurements
...or this one based off legendary bodybuilder Joe Weider:
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=4678853&stc=1&d=1342686645
For exercises and more advice on your workouts, there's some of great fitness youtubers out there. I'll name a few. Scott Hermann, Jeff Cavaliere, Elliot Hulse and Omar Isuf. These four guys can provide so much great information to you, watch their shit and use their advice to come up with ideas for your own workouts. Build your own fucking plan. Seriously. Your body is your own. Experiment for a while, find out what your body responds to because it's always going to respond differently to various things than someone else's body would. For example, my triceps respond more to doing tricep extensions with cables than with dumbbells. Like I said, your body is your own. Learn it and you'll be able to master it more than if you followed some pre-built template meme shit.

There, that's all the sticky needs to say. All the diet, physique and exercize advice you will need to get started in 3-4 paragraphs, no bullshit. Thank me later when you've made it, you sick cunts.
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>this entire thread
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i mean hes kinda right but still
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>>39457217
>Google the golden ratio and use it to calculate your ideal measurements.
i'm already at those measurements and i just started lifting. guess i should stop
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I think you kinda miss the point here. The sticky really is meant to be read by someone who has absolutely no fucking clue what they're doing.

t. Guy who was confused because SS had "bench press" and "press"
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If you want to look good just get strong as fuck then cut, fuck me you're dumb.
Thread posts: 12
Thread images: 9


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