Imagine having to be an alien and training
>Dude how do I get my forearm crystals to spike?
>How's my shoulder plates taper looking?
>Are my chest plates too far apart?
>How much minerals do I need daily for my shards to grow?
>tfw godly plate insertions
>>39419011
Are you ok?
>>39419011
Having an exoskeleton armor would be sweet. Every year you would molt and grow a bigger more spiky and badass one as long as you keep making gains
>>39419011
Hey we're worried about you dude
why does that alien have NO BOOTY
>>39419124
>check the sweet forearm plates bruh
>tfw mental gains show through skull bones
>Leave your neck behind mode - galactic trap gains
>mirin glute dimples? u mirin
>mfw just shed this years exoskeleton and I am become soft fleshy blob
Surely there isnt a feel worse than this
>tfw earthlings laugh at my anus probe
>>39419011
it wous drop off with grwth?
>eating
>sleeping
>evolving
>>39419011
>How can I make my delt spikes come out more?
>Will my ab plates become visible when I lower my plasma level?
>U mirin forearm shards bruh?
there are xenomorphs posting ITT right now who have filaments shorter than 60 saygac
>filamentlets
>they will never learn
choose 2
>forgot change for the plasma dispenser
>Some ayy left backwash community antimatter tray
Will I ever make it?
>faglien claims 544 dhBara low bar crystal-extension
>he's on some shithole planet with low gravity
shake my fucking ventral nerve opening
>>39421280
>shake my fucking ventral nerve opening
kek
>mfw binged on 5 kGy of gamma rays again
S̘̳̺̜h͔͔i̱̼g̗̖͚̟͠g̗͚͓̻y͚̭̹ ̧̘͎̤Ḭ͘g̜ǵ̠̻̮̖͔y̴̟̪̭̝̹
>tfw your spawning pool matriarch keeps ruining your selective energy intake regime by leaving UVB pods laying around
just terminate my incarnation for this temporal cycle, brehs
>>39419011
>Do psychic dips
>Temporal lobe hurts
>Try physical dips
>Arms break
Physical lifting is a meme, don't fall for it my ayys.
>QT(C/D) in my local instance of reality
>send some gravity waves over asking how her day is going
>her processors skip
>she withdraws from my local instance
...
>later detect her in a alternate instance of reality where I have at least 35(mZe*kY/s)'s of processing power
>she's telling cool me about what a dweeb I am
>tfw
This thread just made my day, thanks
>>39422159
kek
>>39419011
The Locust. Most swole bastards to ever grace Serra.
guys is starting super strength a meme? or should I just do a extro split?
>>39422783
Neither. Do Xenomorph 1,000 repetitions.
>4 Quaizars C'mon!
>>39419011
superb post
>>39422159
Lelzies
>>39419011
Good thread
>be me
>just joined this gym in klepton3
>new to lifting
>minding my business doing some hypergravity squats
>see some douches from klepton5 come in
>leave literally for 32 time cycles to deposit some fluids in the recycler
>come back and those pentakleptonians are using the hyper gravity squat rack to do front claw raises
>"I...I was using that"
>fucktards start spitting their plasma all over me like they always do back in their planet
>have to go home to change my outfit or else everyone will think I discharged plasma on myself
>never going back to the gym
>bikleptonian uprising when?!?
>>39419011
>ywn have natural armor plating
why
>>39419011
>Be into serious lifting with fellow stoic ayy's
>Seed life in a galaxy so everyone may know gains
>Create a race of manlets to train in the gym with
>Give them time to reach maturation
>The lifting meme dies over time
>Everybody has cool bodysuits instead now
>Sleeping in my ship
>Fucking intruders out of nowhere
>The manlet race has returned, wants godly gains
>Wants more life
>Wants to know why they were created
>I don't even want to lift anymore
>Just want to be in my comfy bodysuit in my comfy ship
>mfw
I'm giving up on galactic philanthropy.
>>39419011
Be the shrike
/thread
>Be me
>be working out at the gym in sector 892
>see 2 lovely snake ayys come in
>been taking super ayy vitality
>see them coming over
>flex and show my exo crystals
>never notice me even with all my extreme workout skills
>sexy snake ayys leave
Why does nobody ever appreciate raw talent and exo muscle?
i like this thread.
keep going.
>>39423364
>that asshole who keeps shredding gym equipment
>tfw no matter how much you quadbell press you'll never have crystalline exo-skeleton ez mode
You exo-skellets will never know what its like to be a hard gainer
>be me
>Meet murk rippletuttts
>He talks to me about starting superstrength
>he tells me yzyy was a sloot and that she was just a bitch
>Just ignore him the rest of the mid-evening and do x30 tentacle side curls somehow
Fuck, /fit/.
>>39423822
Guys, I've been doing DOJAD, and all my secretions have been really oilish.
Anyone know what's going on?
>be me, 18^9 zeit-years old
>strolling along andromeda galaxy diplomacy station quarters
>see thicc ayy lmao squatting 4 protodiscs in non restrictive exo gear, going xenorectum to moonrock
>try to communicate with Xim
>realize my trans-planetary diplomacy telecommunicator isn't activated
>Xe doesn't understand a single verbal lexicographic combination i'm speaking
>microtubed spaghetti RTE rations begin sliding out the legholes of my suit
>thicc ayy turns around with a puzzled emote on his cortex displayor
>Go home and deflate
>tfw still no Xefriend
I do high gravity squats, is there any extra benefits to going floc to rock or can I just hit parallel?
>be me
>names goku
>actually kakarot
>>39419011
if someone caps this put me in the screencap bro
>>39423555
Gotta work up to leaving pilgrims impaled on the shrike tree, forever undying x F
And moving through time & space is great cardio
>be me
>on replication holiday in zeta sector
>notice my exoskeleton loosing density due to low gravity
>meet shady reptilian trafficing off market density mods
>exoskeleton density stablizes nearly instantly
>all the ayys mirin, good times
>board transport craft to return home
>pilots notice something is interfering with temproal warp drives
>mfw density mods turned my exoskeleton diamagnetic
>mfw galsec traces magnetic signature to me
>mfw sentenced to solar arrest for 2 consecutive planetary geomagnetic reversal sequences
>tfw you have redundant
>not having secondary or even tertiary back up organs for when heart blows up from steroid use
>i shiggy diggy
>>39424633
How are those non-functional balls going for ya chap?
I hear they sell some nice hormone reposition supplements in Andromeda, sissy!
>>39420359
Just keep lifting and eating your protein through the winter. Gotta be patient for that chitin to form, bb. Don't forget to rub those antifungals and antivirals on your spiracles, my brood.
>at intergalactic training facility
>open 32 parsecs a cycle
>temperature rapidly approaching flash freeze levels
>see squid beast on the running simulator
>cut out his entrails and sleep in his moist dead corpse to survive the freeze
>survive sure death freeze, still so lonely
>tfw no life mate
>56039.A639X
>not doing low-gravity pneumocranial tentacle extensors
confirmed not going to make it
>>39419011
>"You're gestating HOW many eggs a day?"
>this thread
>get back from enhancement stockade on R-145A after 8-turing mandible session
>trip back to home planet, consume 7 Universal Standard scoops
>decide to get in cryogenic stasis pod for long ride to recover
>5 ferrats in wake up from nightmare
>in my dream I was only at 6%
>body exudes synfol-10 oil in terror
>mfw I lose all my gains
>sl'em derngav
>mesh'mn shliii'avo
>lwakhjr'avo (15) sl'kamna "SSKAANGA" haam sl'juunna em dundji 10-20 shliii'hakh gnd
>sl'gonjida demgav schl'deljikkik'ha h'nd
>schl'adada "dongiv scl'gouda derngav"
>"HAKAAK DERNGIF'H FERTOKH'AVUK"
>sl'ujdehkoncna derngavi'ish fluggo skl'jornngu fertik'asigohk sand'f od
>sl'dojjfertna derngav aashdacshs shliii'guub fod'go
>"TUSHK'GLAG"
>drw
>tfw closest gym is 30 light minutes away
>>39423080
Trikleptonian*
>do alien bicep curls
>on the moon
>eat alien protein after for sci fi gains
he he
>10101110101000100100101011011010
>101001011010010001001
>011100010101010110100
>01000010101010101010010101010,01010101100 101001 0101010
>1010010!
>101 0100010101 10101001001 10101010
>101
>>39423289
kek'd
>the dhirivian nubile who wears femoral compression layers in the kinetics facility
>>39425189
Does lifting make up for being a Zeta Reticulan?
>>39419011
>plates
people on fit have a hard time dealing with their bone structure under their skin, can you really imagine if we were a race like that with plates all over our body? we probably wouldnt go outside.
>preparing for interstellar weightlifting competition
>decide to boost performance by performing mitocondria cellular infusion
>start experiencing heavy sides as core temperature rises due to excess atp production and scales begin to dry out
>go to xenobiologist who reccomends splicing a phytoplankton gene to dissapate heat and retain hydration
>mfw unable to raise ventral "fin" anymore and shrinks
THIS IS YOUR DAILY REMINDER TO PLUG IN YOUR PLASMA BLENDERS, HEAT UP YOUR FLOTATION TANKS TO EXO TEMP (0.5*C)
THE SKWEED HAS BEEN LIT AND IT'S TIME TO SLAM YOUR KRAWLEX SHAKES, TAKE A TOKE & MARK OFF YOUR CHECKLIST
TO POP YOUR:
AYYLPHA BRAIN
XOOMTECH
ZRILL & MXT OIL
ZIMBEEBATE CARE PILLS
https://youtube.com/watch?v=QbApitUN5ro <---- HIT PLAY KLIGGA
>YOUR X FILES THEME SONG ALARM BLASTS THROUGH YOUR LIVING QUARTERS
>YOU INSTINCTIVELY JUMP INTO YOUR HOMEMADE HOLO-OCTAGON, FITTED WITH PLASMA-ROPES AND A "WRECKING ORB" STYLE ZIMBY KETTLEBOMB ACTION COURSE
>AFTER YOUR INTENSE WORKOUT YOU CALL OVER BRI-AHN RED-BAIN USING CLING BEFORE GETTING INTO YOUR ISOLATION SENSORY DEPRIVATION EXO SKELETON FLOTATION TANK AND PACKING YOUR MANDIBLES TO THE BRIM WITH SKOT BROANIES FOLLOWED SHORTLY AFTERWARDS BY TWELNUT WATER ENEMAS JUST AS THE XMT KICKS IN AS YOU LISTEN TO DUN-KHAN TRU-SEL AND GRA-HAM HAHNK-OCK HYPOTHESIZE THAT THE PYRAMIDS = US AND THE ARK OF THE COVENANT IS HIDDEN ON EARTH
DUDE BOOOOM LMAO
DUDE KETTLEBOMBS LITERALLY ENCRUSTED WITH SKWEED AND DUNKED IN MXT OIL AND THROWN INTO CORNFIELDS X FILES STYLE
>"BREN-DAHN SCHA-UB JUST END IT ALL, I THINK YOU ARE A WORTHLESS FIGHTER AND I HATE YOU, BUT COME BACK ON THE ZODCAST SO I CAN BLOW YOU THE FUCK OUT OF THE LIQUID HYDROGEN AND OXYGEN AGAIN AND REDUCE YOU TO TEARS"
>"BREN-DAHN "FRA-SEER" "FUCK MY SHIP UP" SCHA-UB, JUST TAKE THE EASY WAY OUT. YOUR CAREER IS OVER. IT'S TIME FOR THE SMITH AND JETSON RETIREMENT PLAN"
Jo Ro-gahn, 2015
>YOU ARE NOW PICTURING JO RO-GAN MOLTING IN A FLOTATION TANK WITH MANDIBLES FULL OF SKOT BROANIES TRIPPING
Brought to you by SphereSpace©
>>39423364
>try to spot the shrike
>slices off my antenna
>whyamievenhelping.jxx
>>39425250
> THROWN INTO CORNFIELDS X FILES STYLE
This is the only funny parts
>>39423853
You need to eat less sqoooqƃiqƃiq and start working on your anterior penor negative extensions, my man!
>>39423080
designated plasma planets
PLASMA IN LOO
>>39419124
>mfw unable to attract attention of queen b/c reached terminal moult and still lacking bladed pauldrons
CH'Q8D ingests PROTOPLASM and copulates with the HIVE QUEEN while YOU stay in the DRONE BURROW and gnaw on FUNGAL CELLULOSE.
>>39419011
I think I might be low test guys
Should I get a high test gene modification or nah?
It's like 20,000 credits and I'm pretty poor
>abduct cows for GOMAD
>literally stealing gains from spacelets
Who is also devilish here?
>>39425029
fuf
>>39425745
fucking kek'd hard
>tfw too intelligent to lift.
>>39425818
kek
>>39424685
>>39425769
(cacophonous vocal vibrations hinting at amusement)
>>39425029
I'm genuinely curious if this is means something or if it is just excellently-crafted gibberish.
we need more threads like this in our lives
>nanolifting for inferior, weaker specimen
Ayylmaoing at ur lives
>He doesnt reproduce by dividing
>3546
>still abducting cows
Never gonna make it
>Working out with girl im dating
>Tongue day
>Squeeze 300 kg grippers for reps
>Pierce 200 GPA steel plate ez
>She mirin
>Spot her while she´s doing backspike bridges
>hnng them hipspikes
>Chadireeelo0us is doing tailcurls next to us
>Fucking halfbreed Dindunuffarian
>Tongue hanging out, 8 inches easily
>She just says "wow" silently as we pass by
>Tfw
>Finish rest of workout with tongue hidden
I cant take being a tonguelet anymore,
This is the best thread I have seen in a long while.
>excuse me, what's DOJAD? That much plasma a day isn't healthy.
Super simple secret TRICK to make OTHERWORLDLY gains. Eukarionts hate it.
Learn how here:
>that guy who teleports in between sets
>that guy who wears protobasket short armor in the gym
>mfw plasma fart
>be me
>practicing lightning swirls in Jupiter's core
>all of a sudden these Earth men send a probe to start analysing my storms
>didn't even ask for a storm check
>in my frustration I accidentally vaporize their entire galaxy
>beings who have not evolved beyond the need for a physical presence, when will they learn
this entire thread
>>39426846
spelling & autism
I saw Mur'k Rippletuttts at a triglyceride gel dispensary in the binary star system of Pureblind last cycle. I vocalized how satisfying it was to meet him corporealy but didn't want to be a stinksponge and bother him and ask for lexicographs or anything.
He said "Oh, like you're doing now?"
My processors skipped and all I could say was "que?" but he kept cutting me off and going "que? que? que? and closing his claw shut in front of my visor. I jettisoned out and continued with my procurements, and I heard him laugh as he flew away. When I went to exchange for my foodstuffs up front I saw him trying to walk out the dispensary ring with like 15dhBara of gel packets without paying.
The stations logistics A.I. at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “ you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be plasmically drained and not acknowledge , but eventually barrel rolled back around and brought them to the loading docks.
When station automatons took one of the packets and started sequencing it multiple times, he stopped them and told them to sequence them each individually “to prevent any carbonical displacements,” and then turned around and hooted at me. I don’t even think that’s a word . After system A.I. scanned each packet and put them in a cargo satchel and started to calculate the rate, he kept interrupting them by venting thoraxic gas really loudly.
>>39422159
>>39419011
Jesus dude how high are you?
>>39419011
>Imagine having to be an alien and training
I'd rather not, thanks.
>this entire thread
>>39427188
8/10 for effort
>>39425029
Kekde
>>39426415
hahaha
>>39426835
lmao
>>39426779
*teleports behind you*
>not training skeletutes everyday
>not doing SAS
>ignoring mandible day
>not taking uie scoops every astronomical day
not gonna make it
>>39425085
Never said I was from klepton3 retard, we always have to go there to lift and it' always the same with pentakleptonians
>be new inexperienced space adventurer
>routine mission around quadriceps system
>sitting in my new ship, suddenly every single alarm goes off
>I have no clue what is going on, struggle is real
>Displays are screaming that im closing on black hole at high velocity and im about to get smashed by gravity
>I was panicking but captain was there to calm me down
>what do i do captain?!?
>ACTIVATE HIP "ER" DRIVE
>But captain Mark, we never did that on this ship
>DO IT GODDAMIT
>Hip driver boosted us into some unknow n galaxy of no gains with no guidance beacons
>be me
>enjoying sweet pre-larval gains
>new chitin platings
>visit senpai
>cousin (1.5 x 10^23) exclaims "SAGITTAL CREST" and feels my prongs for 10-20 seconds
>asks if I've been working out
>flex eyestalks "you tell me"
>"oh my god"
>holds my pseudophallic plasmoidial fold as we float around space with her friend later that day
>touches my stalks at dinner
>"solid"
>>39427642
Please tell me you at least touched your stalks with hers.
>>39427642
>>seconds
>R56/101_2
>still using pre-hyperbrachycephalic units.
>tfw human
reeeeee
>>39426169
Lol Its that cousin 15 meme
Hey guys, I stalled at 32 solar masses on bench press, how do i exit this plateau?
>>39427805
merge with other black hole
>>39427805
>What sol are you using as reference? I hope to Xlorw you at least mean 32 galactic standard neutron star masses.
>Are you counting the magnetic confinement lifting sling?
>>39423364
Imagine the gains from the unimaginable pain of being impaled on the shrike tree.
>>39419011
what is this thread?
like who fucking cares nerd get outta here
>>39427805
>Counting your bench in solar mass and not red giants
>>39428053
who here /club225redgiants/ ?
>>39427752
>>>reddshift
>>39428011
>Beta-wave detected
>>39428087
>>>reddshift
I'm laughing pretty hard.
>>39428053
Good luck taking account of the neutrinos' spin when counting the mass.
>>39428011
>manlet Earthling detected
>Part of one of the most vile pirate species n the galaxy
>Still a weak and homosexual sentient
Annihilate yourself in the rays of XY695,700-432,288
>>39426060
>tfw cosmic manifestation of sentient energy so no need of body to train
>>39419011
Was this meant to be funny or are you 15?
>>39428254
Start a strawpoll about it, faggot
toasting in epic bread
>>39422159
>tfw on dirty bulk
>>39419011
We'd be friends I know it
>>39428331
What are your daily macros?
You are counting arent you?
>>39425250
Dude holy shit
>>39428380
24.7661434 kg2 of brotein
1 243 458.53 m2 kg2 / s2 calories
everything else is converted to energy
pic related is results. seems to be going well, not fat fuck mode yet
>Earthlings getting scared when you mention hip abductions
Like I'd want their fleshy hips
>>39428510
mirin dat vtaper and calves bigger than quads
you arent sedentary person
>>39419011
>>39419169
>>39420359
>>39421167
>>39421233
>>39422140
>>39422159
>>39423080
>>39423289
>>39423394
>>39423822
>>39423889
>>39424615
>>39424633
>>39424766
>>39424863
>>39425029
>>39426415
>>39427188
>>39427642
this whole thread
never change /fit/
>>39425250
Real.
>mfw xenotroughs in the hypergravity pseudorack
Jesus fuck guys
>>39424004
Seconding this. Screenap
>Welcome to Trumps /fit/
>>39427739
humans are just a myth to scare hatchlings.
>>39428466
Cut or bulk? Currently 65x10^-38 parsecs and |-3320,102|
>Everyone knows Aliens don't lift.
That's why lifting appeases our extraterrestrial superiors and why they are infatuated with us mortals.
>falling for the plasma ferengi
>>39431213
>65x10^-38 parsecs
lol ayylets
when will they evolve?
>>39424615
You'll be out in no time
>>39425029
S O L I D
O
L
I
D
>>39427928
I'm going to have to do a Hyperion re-read soon
>>39419011
Awesome pics. Great spikes. Look thick, dense, sharp. Keep us updated with any new pointy pics or vid clips.
>>39432469
Hyperion was amazing but I hated all of the sequels (I read them all). Am I the only one who felt this way?
GOOOOD MUTHA FUCKIN" MORNING UNIVERSE 6, today we're gonna kill some mutha fuckin' kakarot! and then we're gonna destroy some fuckin' planets at the galaxy gym but first things first, SHAKE TIME GODDAMMIT! Now for some of you wastes of saiyan blood Out there you can probably only do 4000 scoops, so basically what I do is 9000 scoops,but y'know me I always gotta overkill everything so I do about 10000. C'MON LETS GET BIG GOD DAMMIT
>>39433091
Does anger boost test for filthy earth Ningen like it does for glorious Saiyan masterrace?
Which is better, tentacle push ups ot tentacle sie lunges? Didn't see any gainz in my side refts through these even though I did sets of 5x200.
I'm also taking 3x10^34 scoops everyday, my mass is still untera trillion tonnes. The local sun laughs at me.
Help!
hey, new cyborg here. Thinking about starting a fitness routine to buff up my organic parts. I don't wanna get too big and my knee gears are rusty so no legs for me. Anyone know what organic matter I should eat? My metabolism settings must be really high cause I can eat whatever I want and never put on any weight! Maybe it's my geneticist.
Anyway, thanks for the help / advice
>>39433788
>be cyborg
>train organic parts instead of just buying new ones
lel
>tfw someone takes a holovideo of you for a fail compilation on Hypertube
Anyone got any good 'mire stories?
Today I went to purchase some new larval secretions from the bartering tunnels and the attending matriarch rasped to me: "Glory to the hive!" while rattling her carapace meaningfully. I replied "Y-you too!" and scurried quickly back to my cell.
Does she want the mating appendage, /ayyyfit/?
>>39434403
My sides
>>39425029
>>drw
>>39421167
Dyel? You cant workout for spikes in a specific area. You need to raise your overall spike ratio and your delt spikes will come
>that first sip of the sol cycle
>skullcrushers
>no humies to crush
>transporter malfunctioned
>teleported me onto mothership
>left all my gainz and scoops on Omikron-9xl
>tfw watching the local Homo Dyelus rapidly evolve into Rippetous Gluteus
>>39433788
>falling for the cyborg meme
>ywn make space gains in a space gym with your space buddies travelling in your space ship wearing space leather
Fuck this gay earth
>>39435322
stay neural, biocuck.
we had a thread like this like 2 years ago about insect lifting
>>39424823
>be omnipotent zakarath
>doing multi-galactic tentacle raises
>absorb anti-devolution tablets daily
>still skinnyfat
what do?
>>39424863
that filename holy shit