How do I get godly shits? Shits that just leave my body clean

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>>39399551
bump for personal interest in this matter

>>39399551
keto. when i was on that i had to take a shit like 1 per week and even then it was hardly anything and didn't need wiping 80% of the time

>>39399637
>1 per week
That's not healthy.

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>>39399637
he wants good shits, not no shits. eat veggies op

>>39399551
>Tfw your friends actually joke about how fast I shit

I didn't even know, I always thought I was slow.

Maybe I just kept that sense of urgency mentality from cadets and labour work

>>39399637
m8 you know you're supposed to eat fiber on keto right? I've been eating ground flax seed daily and it's amazing how fast and clean my shits are

Before I started drinking smoothies nightly for calories (fruit, peanut butter, yogurt, oats, pretty basic) I had nice solid shits that would only need a few wipes to take care of and I rarely had the soft ones. Rarely ever smelled too.

Now, I guess because of the fiber from those smoothies, my regular shits are long, softer ones, asshole burns afterwards, and I frequently have to worry about a tiny tiny tiny little piece getting left hanging, I have to basically push the thing back up into my ass instead of wiping because it would wipe it all over my ass, and it takes a shit-ton of wipes to clean because of the residue left over

fuking bullshit

>>39400128
Thanks for crushing my hopes. I was hoping smoothies would fix my shits.
Your problem might be the peanut butter though.

>>39400135
Nah, before the smoothies I used to eat oatmeal with peanut butter. Basically the same amount of milk, oats, and peanut butter as the smoothie, just with fruit and yogurt added

I think it might be the yogurt

Seriously though, there's nothing about my body that pisses me off more than soft shits. Apparently when you eat more fiber, they are supposed to be softer so they come out easier? I thought more fiber meant they were supposed to be more solid

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Who /pooptracker/ here

>>39400156
>pain level
Poop that hurts?

Clabber

>>39400163
Sometimes poop hurts. Mine are always fine though, so sometimes I use that to denote a difficult shit.

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Eat korean cuisine. It has lot of roots and vegetables, great for pooping and keeping your calories low while making you full.

>>39399551
Any excerises that improve shitting?

>>39399551
Get drunk every night, that'll sort it.

Vegan poops are best poops. Like a little angel falling from heaven except from your shitshaft.

>>39399551
its fiber+not too much fats in your diet. More important: rythm, a sleeping/eating/shitting rythm. It helps trust me

>>39400555
Plus kimchi for based farts + probiotic gainz

>>39399551
Go vegan.

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>>39399551
Try a can of pic related once a week- clears thru your system and gives you a complete detox. Other than that stay away from greasy foods with high saturated fats. Also eat your five a day and stay hydrated- this will work wonders on your system.

>>39399551
>
I would reccomend this for daily usage, but I was constipated a couple of months ago and bought a bunch of laxatives and they didn't do shit (literally). Then I bought some prune juice and it was like vietnam in my bathroom. My bowels never felt so empty.

It's not fun, but if you just need to evacuate your situation, accept no substitutes.

>tfw chub from a big hard bub

When I shit I often shit out mashed potato/custard type consistancy
What's going on /fit/?

>>39399551
Google something called 'hajmola' you might be able to find it online. It's worth it.

>>39399551
eat cellulose-containing food (or stuff, anyway). Lately i've started to enjoy eating peanut shells and my shits are wonderful. really

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>>39399551
coffee!
drink enough of it to keep your intestines working

>>39400555
i think you are forgetting that it is a 1 way ticket to kidney stones considering the 500% DV of sodium you are getting with this diet