[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y ] [Search | Free Show | Home]

Has a girl ever spilled her spaghetti for you?

This is a blue board which means that it's for everybody (Safe For Work content only). If you see any adult content, please report it.

Thread replies: 349
Thread images: 44

File: CuVm45QWgAQawFt.jpg large.jpg (56KB, 734x734px) Image search: [Google]
CuVm45QWgAQawFt.jpg large.jpg
56KB, 734x734px
Has a girl ever spilled her spaghetti for you?
>>
Yeah but I'm ultra homo
>>
>>39325128
You're supposed to tell the story.
>>
>>39325114
yeah but she was 16 :(
>>
File: 1472539545987.gif (971KB, 270x252px) Image search: [Google]
1472539545987.gif
971KB, 270x252px
>Be me
>Hungry as fuck, on break from work
>Go to this nice pasta place
>Order a nice bolognese with extra parmesan
>Delicious.jpg
>After paying realize i need to rush back to work
>Accidentally bump into a grill
>She spills her spaghetti because of me
>Mfw
>>
>>39325128
This

A girl flirting with me for 3 hours going all in just for me to reveal that I'm gay at the end of the night is serious ego-boosting fun
>>
Yeah but she was a weirdo and gave me scabies

>:(
>>
>>39325114
no hahahahaha
>>
>>39325114
Three times.
All of them were ugly except one though.

why care about working out when its all about the 6'2 height
>>
>>39325175
>why care about working out when its all about the 6'2 height
A ripped 6'2 sickcunt will make a 6'2 skeleton look like a midget.
>>
>>39325182
I'm ottermode at best and I still manage.
But when it comes to girls its alla bout quantity.
If you meet x amount girls on a regular basis, sooner of later you'll find one that falls for you.
>>
File: 1475559984838.jpg (90KB, 500x752px) Image search: [Google]
1475559984838.jpg
90KB, 500x752px
>>39325114
I was talking to a girl once and she just couldnt stop smiling. I asked her why she was smiling and she was like 'Y-you want me to cry?' While smiling again.

But that was when I was dyel.

Nowadays they just touch my abs and go 'ooooh'
>>
File: 1419105380711.jpg (38KB, 394x368px) Image search: [Google]
1419105380711.jpg
38KB, 394x368px
>Go pickup my girl who's waiting for me at a starbucks near the train station
>walk in
>sit with her
>group of girls (6-7) next to us
gf says they were so obnoxiously loud then shut up and kept staring at me as soon as I walked in and sat down. lel. making it.
>tfw 6'3 on test and lean for dat dere jawline
>>
>walking home from work at night
>car pulls up beside me, starts driving slowly
>about to get jumped oh shit
>window rolls down, middle-aged woman inside, decent looking for her age but only about a 6
>"Y-you have a n-nice body"
>before I can answer, the window shoots up and the petal hits the metal
>feels good man

>competing in a debate tournament
>crush this team incl. a tiny little girl, like a 5 maybe (probably higher if you're a pedo or a weeb)
>adds me on FB
>I'm nice to her but not really interested - just answering her questions, not really doing anything to keep the conversation going
>"Want to meet me after work this week?"
>"No thanks"
>"How about next week then?"
>That's when I left her on read.
>>
>>39325327
>girl asks me out
>say no
>she tries again an hour later
>still no
>third time's the charm right!?
>still no
>she waits till I'm looking the other way and grabs my face and starts trying to make out with me
>ew, definitely still no

should have called the popos and pressed charges desu
>>
>>39325335
She was ugly.
If she wasnt you are a faggot.
>>
Not sure if this counts
>Talking to girl at work who usually wears load of makeup
>Notice she has none on but doesn't look bad actually
>Tell her I see she's not wearing any and tell her she looks nice without it
>She smiles, looks down, and turns fucking red
>Ask her if she's ok, and she says "don't look at me" and walks away smiling
>>
>>39325413
I got all red reading it, faggot.
>>
>>39325425
Then it worked as intended ;)
>>
>>39325114
A few times but then I just spill spaghetti too and can't do anything about it
>>
>>39325425
Are you okay?
>>
File: 1442897553865.png (438KB, 500x549px) Image search: [Google]
1442897553865.png
438KB, 500x549px
>>39325114
When I still worked at a bar a girl who I just gave some shots told my coworker I was cute then quite literally bolted to the door. She later added me on FB and we talked a bit but I was dating someone else at the time. Still feel kind of bad for letting the conversations bleed out so she would stop talking to me.
Now I haven't kissed anyone for over 8 months and I'm wondering why I ignored a legit 8/10
>>
>>39325148
You consider this ego boosting? lolz
>>
>>39325114

>Couple of years ago in HS
>Lifting for a year or so
>Made some visible gains, but still an autistic self counscious shy kid inside
>Girl from my class who is 3 years older than me (about 6' tall, cute face, not a goddess or thick ass but overall nice body and whirly brunette hair) starts noticing and is always complimenting and touching my chest and arms
>I just brush it off all the time and say stupid shit like 'h-ha ha yeah i workout a bit'
>She literally asked me if I would date her after she broke up with her boyfriend
>I answered 'i don't know' and went away
>Got to a point where she asked me when I was going to her house (she was sharing an apartment with two of her friends)
>Only realise she wanted to fuck my brains out after I finish HS
>tfw too late to go back
>tfw never spoke to her ever since and she now has a skinnyfag boyfriend who plays LoL
>>
>>39325576
Got another one I need to take off my chest

>hanging around on normiebook
>Add a girl who went to the same schools, lives in the same town and is the same age as I am just because
>Start talking with each other and notice we have a lot in common
>Set up a date, usual meme date of going to the movies and having dinner
>During the date always spilling my shit all over the place but to my luck she just finds it funny and cute
>After the date as I'm driving us back home she is always touching my arms because I was unintentionally showing off my tricep gains by maneuvering with the car's transmition
>Fast forward a little bit
> Stopped near her house
>I end up also touching her first on her arms, then start to lose some shyness and start touching her waist
>She starts moving my hands to her boobs and ass as she's touching my dick
>ohgodthisisreallyhappening.exif
>She asks if I wanna go to her house
>Just say yeah and we both go
>Enter her house
>Everything really clean and tidy, really good smelling, enough for me to get impressed
>Fast forward a bit after some foreplay
>Both naked in her bed with her on top of me
>She awkwardly puts a condom on my dick
>Only at this moment she tells me she's never done this before and she's a virgin
>tfw I am too to no ones surprise
>Have the most awkward sex I have ever had (also the only one I ever had) as she's riding my penor making a mix of pain/pleasure sounds
>After about 2 minutes pull out and she finishes me off with a handjob
>Next morning wake up get dressed and go back home
>Keep dating her a few weeks after that but notice she's getting distant
>Ends up leaving me and we never talk to eachother again

>tfw got used to take some girls virginity
>tfw not a virgin anymore but feel like one
>tfw I'm a virgin who had sex
>>
File: diver-face-1_1951833i.jpg (26KB, 620x620px) Image search: [Google]
diver-face-1_1951833i.jpg
26KB, 620x620px
>>39325148
At the end of the night ur still a faggot. Literally
>>
>>39325583
Fuck i kekked.

But dont worry brah my first time was like that too
>>
>>39325649
Is it ok now to go to a prostitute?
>>
>>39325114
The security guard at the local mall started talking about my calves and how nice it was that she got to see my and my mates hairy calves all winter since we always wear shorts.

idk if it counts, but it was a bit awkward
>>
>>39325195
Only if X>0
>>
>>39325114
Yes. She was the only girl that ever has been interested in me. But i was a autist and ignored her. I still think about her
>>
>>39325114
There is one girl who has had a crush on me for several years. I could message her right now and ask her to become my girlfriend and she would gladly say yes. Every time we've talked she's been unbelievably giggly, and she's not like around other guys, though she is a bit shy and quiet. Too bad she is a liberal multiculturalist.
>>
>>39325137
>:(
?
>>
ITT : Things that never happened
>>
>>39325661
They are sluts, noone gives a fuck. Just go, fuck em, and pay em.
>>
>>39325725
>here is one girl who has had a crush on me for several years. I could message her right now and ask her to become my girlfriend and she would gladly say yes.
>Too bad she is a liberal multiculturalist.
Redpill her then.
>>
File: 1478246377586.png (431KB, 640x478px) Image search: [Google]
1478246377586.png
431KB, 640x478px
>>39325114

>Be 14
>High school break time
>Walking around in silent, listening to music with my hoodie on and my skullcrasher headphones
>Le dark, mystery agnsty teen boy

>Two females approach me
>One is hot, the other is above average
>Hot girl asks me if I have a girlfriend
>Above average won't stop giggling, face full blushed

>I say No

>Hot girl says:, oh my friend doesn't either!

>I say: but what about you? Do you have a boyfriend?
>Hot girl laughs ''Yes, I do''
>Above average looks sad now, goes away without saying anything

>They both leave


>Keep walking
>>
>>39325798

Alpha as fuk
>>
>>39325769
Nah, it's not worth the trouble. She's not the kind of girl I'd like to date or marry, so I'm not going to start any relationship with her. I do have my sights on a girl that's remarkably more beautiful, smart and interesting. She's younger, too, and the process of redpilling will be easier with her, I'd wager.
>>
>high school
>friend tells me girl x likes me
>I say ok
>nothing ever comes of it
>enjoy foreveralone life 10 years later
>>
>>39325867
Nice. Go for it then, good luck.
>>
>>39325867
Kys redpiller
>>
Yeah I was at a halloween party and this qt and I are talking but she's pretty androgynous so eventually I ask if she's a boy and she gets all blushy and ends up leaving kek
>>
>>39325327
>I left her on read.
Are you a taconigger by any chance? I am one and this idiom is something I've only heard in Spanish.
>>
>>39325396
>If she wasnt you are a faggot

>sexual assault is okay if shes pretty

betas like you need to die.
>>
>>39325413
holy shit dude, you're cringelord. poor girl
>>
>>39325867
>process of redpilling
Jesus Christ
>>
File: 1457117263768.gif (2MB, 200x150px) Image search: [Google]
1457117263768.gif
2MB, 200x150px
>>39325142
got me
>>
>>39325495
"don't look at me"
>>
>>39325148
I'm not gay but that seems pretty fun and hilarious to do.
>>
>>39325616
Yeah, I know, that's the best part

>>39325511
Of course it's ego-boosting to be literally the winning prize of a seduction competition between several people
>>
Yeah. I got a hard on

I spill spaghetti more so though
>>
>>39325252
I hate you.
>>
>>39326188
call me
>>
>>39325583
Pretty sure everyone's first time was awkward as fuck
>>
this week, actually.

>at work, talking to customer on phone
>random skinny ginger with braces and freckles touchs my shoulder and starts asking me random-ass questions in the most akward small-talk
>so you work with so-and-so, oh wow, etc
>I'm only half paying attention, since I'm on the fucking phone
>I answer a question from the customer
>she spills the spaguetti hard, like only noticing what she's doing at that moment
>says she's sorry for bothering
>runs away like she's sonic the redheadhog

yesterday she touched my arm, said hi and ran away the same way.

If I didn't have a hotter girl giving me hugs and saying "I'm special to her", I would totally go for the weirdo ginger. I'll keep her as back-up, since I tend to fuck up everything day 1 or day 2 anyway.
>>
>>39326165
How is that cringe? I gave her a compliment and she even went and told other coworkers what i said.they all said it was nice of me
>>
>>39325798
Alpha
>>
>go to a bar with friends
>meet some random students there
>talking to this one girl
>loud music starts playing so I go closer to her to speak with her
>purely platonic as I was bored
>she thinks I'm randomly going to go in for a kiss and hug straight after asking her what subjects she does
>I stare at her weirdly and she's just standing there getting ready for the kiss.
>She then runs back to her friends and insta leaves

That's about it really, can't remember others.
>>
>>39325252
Ayyyee
Test and lean?
I too enjoy some purple syrup
>>
>>39325583
lmao what the fuck
>>
>>39326242
holy shit that one was pretty good
>>
>>39326177
Guess you had to be there.. she asked me if i wanted to go smoke with her and hang out regularly. Afraid to make a move tho ..
>>
Studied in China for a while, dem girls like whitebois. Was in a relationship tho

>at club with friends
>all my friends out dancing
>I suck at dancing, so nothanks
>girl comes up and asks me really sweetly if I wanna dance
>reply with a short 'no'
>hurries back to her friends

Probably broke her confidence, getting turned down by a manlet :^)
>>
>>39325114
>be me
>need to drop something off at sisters work
>cute young blonde girl is working front desk
>hi can you tell *sisters name* her brothers here with her stuff
>*giggles*
>fair cheeks flush red
> who should I tell her is here
> I think dafuq bitch I just told you
> I suffer from short tempers
> I say her brother, my name is anon
>giggles again
>okaayy
> i finish my errand and check my face for food or something in the car mirror.
>after work my sister tells me her coworker thinks I'm hot
>huh
>she's only 18 tho
> regrettably in a relationship
> would have torn that pretty young thing apart
>>
File: she couldnt resist.jpg (22KB, 616x500px) Image search: [Google]
she couldnt resist.jpg
22KB, 616x500px
>go to a bar in ocean city with friends last summer
>wear my lighter colored contacts
>have a pretty fun night getting super drunk and dancing
>on my way out hambeast says "omg your eyes are beautiful come dance with me"
>i say thank you and immediately direct my attention to her much hotter friend and ask if she wants to dance
>"haha sorry i have a boyfriend"
> i say so what
>she inches closer and i put my arm around her to get her away from her friends
>whisk her away and look back while her friends look in disgust/jealousy
>pic somewhat related

this is why I dont trust women. ended up getting the succ tho
>>
>>39325142
Bologna*
>>
>>39325583
First time's always the most awkward moment. Nobody knows what the fuck to do and all that porn isn't helping
>>
>>39325114
HHHHNNNGGG WHY IS SHE SO PERFECT
>>
File: maxpar2.jpg (71KB, 500x667px) Image search: [Google]
maxpar2.jpg
71KB, 500x667px
>>39325114
lol I just need to post this story somewhere because it's so fucking degenerate. my first sex was fucking retarded
>be 15
>best friend and I are both virgins
>desperately feel the need to finally fuck some girl
>writing with random chicks in ICQ all the time
>this one girl always talking sexual
>didn't really see any pictures of her beforehand
>simply ask here if she wants to have a threesome
>ok.jpg
>wow that was easy
>friend and I meet her at mcdonalds
>she's barely a fucking 3/10
>she's quite fat and a redhead
>we're both unsure whether we should
>no way back lol
>walk with her around town
>go to some little forest
>we both take our rounds and fuck her on a fucking euro-pallet
>she doesn't even like it
>can't cum in her because she's so ugly
>fapping while my buddy keeps fucking here
>leave forest
>she gets picked up by her parents
later found out she was 12 at that time and it was her first time too or something. 7 years ago now and it's still the topkek story whenever bro and i meet
>>
>>39326493
KEK
>>
>>39326493
>hey bro, good to see ya
>you too man, remember that time we tried to have a 3some with a fat 12 year old girl out in the woods?
>yeah, good times. good times.
>>
>>39325114
>Be in club with friend
>Friend of qt I'm hooking up with comes and says hi.
>"Ugh... hi"
>Don't know why but always disliked this girl
>She keeps trying to have a nice conversation with us
>My friend is friendly with her, but I can't stop being a total jerk
>"Why are you speaking with us? Don't you have any friends?"
>"Haha anon you are so mean"
>"No, I'm serious, go to the bathroom and leave us alone, perhaps you may make a friend on the way"
>She starts getting all teary
>Starts making strong eye contact while getting closer
>Hugs me and tries to kiss me on the lips
>Pull away and laugh in her face
>"Wtf are you doing, just go away"
>Runs away humiliated
>>
>>39326587
Damn dude that's harsh
>>
File: CwQyevsW8AAZi-0.jpg large.jpg (419KB, 1538x2048px) Image search: [Google]
CwQyevsW8AAZi-0.jpg large.jpg
419KB, 1538x2048px
>>39326483
She just is.
>>
>>39325413
>telling to a female at workplace something about her appearance

NO NO NO stop that right fucking now, never ever ever talk to women at work about anything but work. One misinterpreted word and you're fired in a heartbeat and have no letter of recommendation to rely on.
>>
>>39326586
Kek
>>
>>39325114
>At work
>Traveling to a client site so dressed down a little but still look good
>Get work done
>Say goodbye to receptionist
>She obviously is miring but doesnt know what to say
>I walk out
>As I start to open the door I hear
>"I like your shirt anon"
>I turn and make eye contact for 2 seconds
>I wink
>Game over

not the best story to read, but it was awesome to experience.
>>
>>39326621
Not everyone lives in Murica.
>>
>>39326587
This thread turned into a real
Things that never happened thread.
Look at this shit,dont you get embarrassed while making this much shit from your ass.
>>
>>39326493
This is too fucked up to not be real
>>
>>39326445
>> i say so what
massive cringe dude. you're disgusting
>this is why I dont trust women
because YOU are a disgusting excuse of a human being? of course someone like you would try to externalize your own shortcomings..... enjoy having a pathetic, meaningless life filled with STDs
>>
Back in highschool I used to work at the local library. I'd occasionally see this cute ambiguously Arab girl there who I knew went to my highschool. She came up to me one day giggling uncontrollably and blushing super hard and said I was cute and asked for my number. I declined though because I was sort of involved with this other very average looking girl and was going to be graduating in a month anyway.

Average girl and I stopped talking to each other a few days later and I never saw Muslim girl at the library ever again.
>>
>>39326646
thingsneverhappen
>>
>>39326678
>women are property
Die Misogynistic shit lord
>>
>>39326633
not him but this happens everywhere now. unless you work at a factory or something, if you're in an office environment and a chick says something to management you're fucked, no questions will be asked. Spain here.
>>
File: 1475189923723.png (328KB, 500x375px) Image search: [Google]
1475189923723.png
328KB, 500x375px
>>39326628
You forgot the last part anon
>I tipped my fedora on the way out.
>>
>>39326710
Qué diceh loco
>>
>>39326587
Surely
>>
>>39325114

Yes. A super gorgeous blonde girl that I fucked behind my wife's back. She wants me to get divorced and be with her and I think I will bros.
>>
>>39326783
Have you ever put up with her shit to know this is the right decision or are you basing this on your adventurous honeymoon?
>>
>>39325413
That's adorable, are you gonna exploit this?
>>
>>39326710
You're completely delirious

No judge is ever going to condemn you for having said to a female collegue she looks good without make-up. Even if she's your hierarchical inferior.

Penal law punishes sexual harassment, not compliments.
>>
here with the cringe

>be little me
>Sit on a bench in the smoking area of my school
>Crush approaches, i dont realize it because im busy smoking (thats what made me cool) and talking
>Sits on my lap for whatever reason
>go "uff" like someone just put 10 tons onto my lap (she wasnt fat btw, just me being autistic)
>akward moment
>dont know what to do with my hands
>eventually get a lesson form one of my friends on how to handle girls
>its too late
>she leaves
>stay friends for another year
>leave school

She now has a boyfriend and im forever alone, probably could've had her if a wasn't a beta faggot.
>>
>>39326713
thought it went without saying...
>>
File: 1478285345984.jpg (8KB, 213x255px) Image search: [Google]
1478285345984.jpg
8KB, 213x255px
>be clapistanian TA for engineering course
>qt german girl shows up to my office hours for first time
>seems nervous, possibly not great with english
>stutters and asks for help
>look over her homework, everything is perfect except one thing
>point it out and suggest how to fix it
>she starts apologizing and fixes it
>continues verbalizing an internal monologue, runs on and on about why she did it wrong and apologizes to me again
>'haha ok you have a nice day' and send her on her way
>grade quizzes and see hers in the pile every time
>fills up the entire sides of the pages with girly internal monologues to reason her way through the problems
>almost perfect scores every time
>comes to see me about her quizzes and homework, rinse and repeat every week
>see her on my way out of the uni gym one time late at night
>she pauses, stares, and then gives me a huge smile and waves enthusiastically
HHNNNNNGGGG FUG that was cute. there are a few other qt's that show up at my office and wave to me and stuff, but she's the most entertaining
>>
>>39326835
That's cute. Are you allowed as a TA to date students?
>>
>>39326493
this cant be real wtf man
>>
Only girl who's spilled spoghet for me is current gf, 7.5/10 she's got mega anxiety tho, after a month of friends/dating her spaghetti reserves began to run out and she started to get more comfortable. Am /fatfuck/ so I don't know why she had pasta pocket. Also 25% body fat gf master race.
>>
>>39326586
Top kek
>>
>>39325114
yea
:^)
>>
>>39326678
>>this is why I dont trust women
>because YOU are a disgusting excuse of a human being?
no because she just went with it.
>>
>>39326951
good post
>>
>>39326678
You're a top tier idiot, eh?
>>
>>39325114
>>
>>39326972
cont
>>
>>39326972
I get fucking annoying and autistic when a girl doesn't reply but this is too much
>>
>>39326980
cont2
>>
>>39325114
Yes.

>sitting with a bunch of mates shooting the shit
>couple of qts joined us for the first time
>one of my mates is acting like billy big bollocks and making out like he's the alpha
>makes some comment which I can't actually remember but I reply "maybe, but I'm much better looking"
>smile at the qt I had my eye on and she's nodding her head in vigorous agreement
>she blushes and doesn't know where to look
>I just keep smiling while my buddy fumes to himself
>make out with qt at the end of the night

Was a good moment.
>>
File: Richard Pianola competing.jpg (77KB, 600x900px) Image search: [Google]
Richard Pianola competing.jpg
77KB, 600x900px
>>39326587
>Be in club with friend
>Fucking a girl in the ass on the dancefloor when her friend comes and says hi
>"Ugh... hi"
>Tries to suck my dick but it's still lodged in her friends ass
>"Watf are you doing, just go away"
>Runs away humiliated
>Alpha as fuck r-right guys?
I also OHP 3 pl8s. Pic related it's me competing
>>
>>39326991
cont3
>>
>>39326680
>ambiguously Arab
WHat exactly does this mean? You weren't sure she was arab, or you weren't sure what kind of arab?
>>
>>39326991
Why are you this mean m8.
Has she ever done something to you ? She looks like a cool person just befriend her.
>>
>>39325114
>Be me
>Out partying with the lads on a friday
>Kinda empty xept us and like 3 other groups
>This big 250lbs++ 6'4 comes over and tells me he wants to talk to me
>he wants me to lean closer to him
>i thought he wanted to fight so even tho i have never been in a fight i had my fists ready
> he tells me that this girl was gonna buy him a drink if he managed to make me talk to her
> after some convincing i decided to be a bro
> i went over and said my name etc
> she said her name and went all mute
> stood there 5 min and talked to her freinds while she was red and half giggling

Was really weird, i thought i had to fight, but all that happend was that a dude got a free drink and i cringed a bit, was it worth the read?
>>
File: lelocaust part 1.png (194KB, 750x1334px) Image search: [Google]
lelocaust part 1.png
194KB, 750x1334px
I think I've got you all beat.

This is real by the way.
>>
>>39326972
Pic Related was hella into me and my roomie. I felt lowkey bad because I was smashing her suitemate and all the other suitemates knew but didnt tell her. Apparently she would talk about me with the other suitemates and was under the assumption we would be together someday. She also tried introducing me to her parents and there was heavy implication we were a thing or going to be. Got kinda weird desu
>>
>>39325114
Is the name of the girl in the picture Iva? I think I know her...
>>
File: lelocaust part 2.png (185KB, 750x1334px) Image search: [Google]
lelocaust part 2.png
185KB, 750x1334px
>>39327022

Part 2

She had a phone with a keyboard hence the incoherent smashing of letters.
>>
>>39327032
No, Alexandra.
>>
>>39326835
>qt in Engineering
I..I want to believe this is true. The fact she's german makes it so much more plausible... please be true...
>>
>>39327002
>would of
>should of

keep treating her like shit anon, she is.
>>
>>39327015
Yea I guess the photos don't do it justice. She was always trying to study 1on1 with me, and was talking to her suitemates about how she wanted to be with me.

>>39327031
>>
Yeah the ugly cousin of a friend of mine.

Was super touchy and flirty the whole night and I didn't have the heart to tell her to fuck off cause she's a really nice girl and I am a fucking autist.
Got super fucking drunk, don't remember shit and supposedly made out with her (the thought fucking disgusts me - luckily no memories)

Friends told me she kept asking me to sleep at her place but I told her no cause "I still have to hit my macros" - no one knew what I was talking about.

I deeply regret every bit of it and hope no one wants to talk about it ever again. She even messaged me the next day asking if I remember etc.
>>
>>39327002
>>39326991
>>39326980
>>39326972
Is she actually hot?
Have you fucked her already?

You dont know how lucky you are for a girl to give you attention like that anon, ive never had a girl be like that with me.
>>
>>39327040
Holy fucking doppleganger. Still saving it to show her xD
>>
>>39327017
You did the right thing anon. You helped the big guy and the giggly girl out
>>
>>39327015
Judging by the
>Thanks for offering to come and get us
I think he has befriended her, he's just laconic and she's clearly way into him when he's not.
>>
>>39327031

Good character development for her in the long run hopefully.
>>
File: 1440374677097.jpg (68KB, 633x758px) Image search: [Google]
1440374677097.jpg
68KB, 633x758px
>>39325114
Only in highschool
4 years ago now
>>
>>39327002
>tfw 1/10 wanted to peg you to the sound of heavy metal

>>39327057
dude.
>>
File: 1449650016395.jpg (108KB, 1198x568px) Image search: [Google]
1449650016395.jpg
108KB, 1198x568px
>>39327033
>sdflksjdlfkj sldkfjlsdkfj lsdkfjdlfkj o28ujaf 298nvxklc BEYOND IMAGINATION
>>
>>39327057
Nah I was smashing her suitemate, actually a while back someone posted a compilation of hot college chicks with the "Anon do you seriously not lift" meme or whatever and there was a photo of her in it. I cracked up. She was ok, like maybe a 6-7 but her suitemate was a 7-8 and also decent in bed. This was before I lifted to. DESU I was alot more confident and played up the brooding and mysterious card and I found it worked alot better for me. Girls in AZ dig it I guess
>>
>>39327091

That girl was a sick freak. I've got some low key spaghetti dropping from a Christian girl a couple weeks ago and an awful voicemail. I told her last Sunday to watch her boundaries.
>>
>>39327077
Back story, I was smashing her suitemate and I have 3 sisters so I usually try walking girls back to their dorms safely.
>>
>>39327022
You're asexual? Not sure if that's what she was trying to say.
>>
File: goodolzac.jpg (41KB, 500x383px) Image search: [Google]
goodolzac.jpg
41KB, 500x383px
>>39326646
>>39326750
>>39326999

mfw when autismo /fit/ doesn't believe you
>>
>>39327119

I'm still trying to transcribe it years later. At the time of that incident I would straight up smash and trash. No relationship, no distraction.
>>
File: insanelyrare.gif (2MB, 255x248px) Image search: [Google]
insanelyrare.gif
2MB, 255x248px
>>39327056
>>>>"I still have to hit my macros"
HAHAHAHA this is a good one


no one knew what it meant? even your bros?
>>
>>39327033
>I will slmdasn xov beyond imagination
Wh-what did she mean by this
>>
>>39327045
kek m8
>>
>>39327129
They are all DYEL fags
>>
>>39327106
>>39327125
Do you know what her reacting was after sobering up and realizing what she did?
Tbh the more you are willing to share the more I'm able to laugh anon
>>
>>39326228

>If I didn't have a hotter girl giving me hugs and saying "I'm special to her"

This has to be bait or you a fucking idiot waiting on a girl who has you friendzoned.
>>
>>39327158

You want the aftermath? I copied and pasted all of the texts she sent me and send them back to her the next day.
>>
>>39327002
>why'd you leave??
>desu food

fucking lost it
>>
>>39327124
>Y-you are autist because you didnt believe my unrealisticly retarded made up story.
Sure buddy,she tried to deepthroat your dick on the way out too right ? You just forgot that part
>>
>>39327124
Surely
>>
>>39327098
Yeah i suppose being apathetic with women shows them you have options but the catch is that you actually HAVE to have options for it to work. In my experience women prefer to chase 8/10s than have 6/10s chase them because hypergamy etc etc. The dark brooding mysterious card also only seems to work if you're good looking. Dark, brooding, mysterious = shy, beta, loner. Women dont take interest in guys who arent good looking, they see them as background noise.
>>
>>39327182
>The dark brooding mysterious card
what is this and how do i play that card
>>
>>39327182
Agreed, I would say im a 7-8 so I can pull that card with females equal or lower to me, but if I was trying to wheel a 9-10 it wouldn't work. Its all about adapting to the scenario
>>
>>39326819
Maybe you have loved under a rock but all kinds of pussy-fags don't care about the law anymore they will create your guilt in their minds and act like it's real and ten can tie ass for something unrelated
>>
>>39327198
Be decent looking first and foremost otherwise you'll look autistic.

Watch James Bond (craig) and Don Draper for an Idea. look on youtube aswell.


Good luck m8
>>
>at music festival
>extremly drunk
>taped my left arm to a bottle of vodka mixed with rockstar
>right arm taped to a beer and a 6'6 dutch guy
>we can barely walk cause drunk and taped to each other for some reason
>girl comes up to me and asks if she can help me
>takes my hand to help me walk
>don't know what happened in the next 5 minutes
>suddenly making out with her while still taped to the huge dutch guy
>he just kept drinking and said "nice man"
>she asked if I want to skip the next concert and come to her tent with her
>say yeah sure but I need to talk to my bro first
>walk 5 steps away
>tell him to fucking run
>we ran away somehow without killing ourselves
>tfw I skipped pussy to see billy talent
>>
File: leloaftermath 1.png (217KB, 750x1334px) Image search: [Google]
leloaftermath 1.png
217KB, 750x1334px
>>39327158

Here you go you sick fuck.

I edited in one last text after it to keep it on one upload of aftermath.
>>
>>39327208
some girls liked me, always to autistic to make a move. guess i am around an 8? probably 7?
>>
>>39327218
holy shit, I am actually dying here
>>
File: laughter.jpg (15KB, 236x318px) Image search: [Google]
laughter.jpg
15KB, 236x318px
>>39325142
perfect gif
>>
>>39327230

I wish I could post the most recent spaghetti dropping I got from this really attractive Christian girl, but I'd actually feel bad.
>>
>>39327226
Its pretty hard to pull of desu, And in my experience only works in the US. I tried this shit in Canada and people here are too sensitive for it to work. I assume the same in the UK.
>>
>>39327218
top kek, well played
>>
>>39326879
nothing says you can't, I think this one has a bf but all girls have bf's lol

>>39327041
I go to a state school, so most of the people here re normal and the girls are better looking on average than those at autism tech schools
>>
>>39327218

shoulda just replied
>dw you're not the first one
>>
>>39327161

She didn't say I'm special after I hit on her or anything. She said so of her own accord, she comes over of her own will, hugs me of her own will, and went out.of her way to hold.my hand three times now.

I'm not chasing her at all (always thought she's out of my league). If she hadn't taken the time come over just to say I'm special to her, I wouldn't even be entertaining the possibility of dating her.

Also, I have no idea where the redhead's station is, only seen her those two times.

Girl who said I'm special to her is a religious virgin, who happens to look like

<-------
>>
>>39327243
live in holland, guess its not for me than... i hate my stupid face. I am around 6'7" though, dont know if that helps
>>
>>39327230
>>39327245
>>39327274

Some other fall out after this. She was a coworker of mine and would literally sprint away from me for months until one day I just told her straight up to stop acting like a child and be a professional.
>>
>>39325867
>redpilling her

Sweet fucking Christ. Full body cringe.

Please stay indoors (shouldn't be too difficult) and do not attempt to reproduce (ditto).
>>
File: 1476416114320.jpg (209KB, 960x720px) Image search: [Google]
1476416114320.jpg
209KB, 960x720px
>>39327002
This could literally be your mom texting you
>>
>>39327017
Freshmen some chad did this to me at my first uni party
>Chilling with my friends
>Big white guy comes up to me (I'm mixed race)
>"Yo my girls friend thinks you're cute come with me"
>Most awkward conversation with her but she laughed
>Went with them to a house and lost my virginity
>Never spoke to her again

Probably for the better they were 24yo grad students and I was just 18
>>
>>39327293
If you get muscular af then yes, otherwise no
>>
>>39327312
uh ok, but its not so...
>>
>>39327242
>wish i could
implying you cant
>actually feel bad
>posting on bangladeshi ancestral curry recipe forum
you know what to do
>>
>>39325583

lordy lordy anon I'm still laughing as I type this. who...who ARE you?
>>
>>39326972
>>39326980
>>39326991
>>39327002
is she ugly, a chatterbox, or are you fackin' YUGE?
>>
File: 166.gif (916KB, 245x285px) Image search: [Google]
166.gif
916KB, 245x285px
>>39327178
>>
>>39327033
>Happy Thanksgiving to you too

Lol'ed
>>
>>39327337

Ah, you got me. I actually feel nothing.
>>
>>39327362
done deal. now post the sgetti
>>
>>39327198
it only works if you're decently attractive already

brooding quiet + attractive = mysterious strong silent type
brooding quiet + not attractive = autistic future serial killer

I'm dyel but my face is probably a 7. it works on girls who are 5/6's, but ones higher than that require game (I'm in US). our women are whack though due to social media and thirsty betas inflating their self worth, so ymmv
>>
File: IMG_1146.jpg (53KB, 538x491px) Image search: [Google]
IMG_1146.jpg
53KB, 538x491px
>>39326835
Just like my Cantonese etchasketches
>>
>>39327340
Not bad desu, little bit of a chatter box, not big, I have a decent face
>>
>>39325798

did this to my coworker when her friend came in to see her at work. poor girl posted about it on fb later. word for word what I said to her.

>people commenting what a jerk and all that
>no names just what we said
>Not my fault you're a whale and your friend is cuter
>>
>>39327379
this so much, I pulled this shit off in AZ but in Canuck land everyone is a beta cuck who is repulsed by confidence and machismo
>>
>>39326144
This
>>39325396
How much of desperate loser are you?
>>
>>39327401
what lifts give me a good face?
>>
File: 1421566205906.jpg (83KB, 856x575px) Image search: [Google]
1421566205906.jpg
83KB, 856x575px
>>39325114

>Be me, in college
>Ride bus between main campus and west campus to get to an Econ class (this was Texas A&M, a huge campus)
>There was a grill on my bus I talked to sometimes, she was really nice but like a 3/10, I wasn't interested but she was a nice person
>My birthday is in December, at the very end of the semester and actually
>Semester ends
>Grill friends me on facebook and sends me a message (this was like 2006, when facebook was new)
>She said that she had a birthday card for me and had brought it with her to give me, but didn't see me on the bus (I drove on the last day because I had a final exam)
>She wants to meet up to give me the card
>I didn't know what to do so I just didn't reply

She was a nice person, and I feel bad, but I had no idea how to respond without leading her on.
>>
>doing nofap nov
>be at work at cubicle
>girls next to me talking at cube across from me
>one gets up and her pants pull down somehow. See her whole ass
>oh fug oh fug my dick
>she pulls it up quick but one friend catches me looking and points as i turn away
>she asks if i saw, say nope and keep working
Fug that was a smooth nice ass
>>
>>39326628
kek did u say 'game over' out loud?
>>
>>39327426
Orthodontics x 6 years
Accutane 3 sets of 5 months @80mg
Genetics x 20 years

desu I am in acting and modelling, but likely will get surgery in a couple of years to be more lucrative and better looking
>>
>>39327426

A face lift.
>>
Am a male teacher, I teach 16-18 year olds, and also teach a class of adults who are mostly single mothers who want to be midwives.

When I'm teaching muscle structure and function they always use examples by referring to my body "so you must be pretty strong anon, you look like you've spent a lot of time in the gym" then blush.

Or they go super quiet and giggly when I walk past them in the cafeteria, or ask them a question in class.

I told one of my students it was weird when I walked past her and her friends in the cafeteria and they wen't silent and looked at me, "If I didn't know better I'd think you were talking about me", to which she replied "we were, but I didn't agree with what anonette was saying about you so i told her to shutup" and then blush.

Will greentext some more.
>>
>wearing slooty costume at Halloween party because I want to show off my gains
>old hoodie that's so small I can't zip it up over my chest, small t-shirt under it, women's costume boyshorts, black opaque tights
>arrive at party and receive blank stares, nobody knows what to say
>alcohol is imbibed
>suddenly these 35 year old hens won't stop finding excuses to touch my legs and butt
>one of them is following me around asking me to flex out of my shirt and won't fucking take no for an answer
>at the end of the night another walks up and offers to teach me to dance
>gets up EXTREMELY CLOSE and starts handling me, keeps talking about how fun dancing with her boyfriend is while she's got her hands on all of my ass and keeps telling me to hold her "along my bra straps, you know, right in here"
>tell people I need to leave
>dancing girl literally leaps in front of the fucking door and tells me I should stay
>have to pick her up and physically move her in order to escape

If I've learned anything as I've gotten older it's that people just learn to suppress their spaghetti, they never actually remove it. Alcohol makes fools of men.
>>
>>39327404
That's what you commented on it? You'd think they'd pick an ugly friend to ask
>>
>>39325749
t. Someone who's never had any female attention and projects this onto other people
>>
>>39326699
>strawman
Die libtard
>>
>>39326439
i had a hard time reading this
you suck at green texting
>>
>>39325396
she was decidedly average. I just wasn't into her, I'd known her for years and she was always kinda creepily/obsessively into me. We spent a lot of time together because our parents were friends.

Anyway anon, you may never have a chance to realize this, but desperation is as much of a turn off for guys as for girls.
>>
>>39326135
>taconigger
>I am one
>call himself a taconigger

Self loathing faggot, you're everything that is wrong with our country, you're not going to make and I hope a cartel cuts your head off.
Bitch.
>>
File: 1474325625622.jpg (44KB, 540x540px) Image search: [Google]
1474325625622.jpg
44KB, 540x540px
>>39327455
Awaiting your stories senpai, always interesting to hear stories from a teacher's perspective
>>
>>39327204
Yes, I often love under rocks
>>
>>39327379
yeah but what the hell is "brooding". is it just sitting somewhere acting like your thinking about life with a semi focused/angry (lack of better word) face? what do you even say to girls at a party?
>>
>>39325798
I feel bad for the above average girl
>>
>>39327532
Yea pretty much, not everyone can pull it off. Look slightly mad, and stoic. Honestly just look at daniel craig in the bond movies. Look at male models
>>
>>39325583
How long ago was this?
>>
I had a girl tell me I was a big guy once but I just ended up spilling my own spaghetti instead
>>
>>39327547
That's a type A personality trait. Most men will fail if they try to imitate it.
>>
>>39326135
na dude I heard it for the first time a few days ago from a black chick

bonus round:

>be 14 year old
>girl x is into me; I am not into girl x
>girl x hangs around girl y a lot; I am into girl y
>flirt with girl y a lot, which involves indirectly engaging with girl x
>girl x thinks this means the D is hers
>girl x tells another mutual friend, girl z, that I am into girl x but too much of a puss to ask her to the school dance
>girl z tells me to ask girl x to school dance; tell girl z I don't like girl x and that I don't plan to ask her
>???
>girl x corners me in a staircase and says she knows I like her and that we are going to the school dance together
>"uhh.. no I don't want to go with you"
>girl x storms off
>takes my friend to the dance instead; they end up dating for like 10 fucking years; turns out girl x is exactly as much of a weirdo as you'd expect.

dodged a bullet there lads
>>
>>39325114
>walk down staircase
>girl enters the door, sees me coming, holds the door
>I'm far away so it's like 10 secs
>I say 'hello' from 2 meters away
>"t-thank you..."
>>
>>39327420
>an actual female tries to make up with you while being drunk
>not going for it
>hahaha desperate loser
No faggots I just cant believe I could pull it off,since I had high test all around my life and started TRT,its impossible to do for me.
And its probably impossible to pull for someone who isnt a faggot.
And I get laid often just to let you know.
>>39327507
>>
>>39327558
agreed, overwhelmingly difficult to pull off but when done properly it's very effective
>>
>>39327056
Kek'd
>>
>>39327587
I actually don't have to try, but then again I'm a type A. I wouldn't recommend imitation in any case, though. People have to find ways to be attractive that are congruent with themselves.
>>
>>39327547
>>39327558
my normal face is pretty angry, but i dont know if its the good kind.

still, what do you say to girls? or do you act normal once they took the bait?
>>
>>39327527
Spainfag numero 2 here.

While the whole cancer ala USA feminism is in the rise atm, I have never seen or heard of extreme cases like getting fired for a compliment.

Some bitches get ballistic over the dumbest shit tho, but who the fuck cares.
Also makes for great banter with female human beans
>>
>>39327577
I'm sure you do bud, enjoy the 4s and 5s you can only manage to pick up at last call

she also wasn't drunk, just fucking weird.
>>
>>39327612
I hate to say this, but you actually have to develop social competence. Forcing yourself to act a certain way will work inconsistently and can backfire if it harms your reputation.
>>
>>39326165
Found the sperg. Anon gave a genuine compliment
>>
>>39327633
i am social competent. what i meant was what do you say to girls if you play this card. i know how to normally behave.
>>
>>39327622
Me getting laid often is more believeable than your ebin story fucking faggot.
>hey anon lets go out
>no
>hey anon lets go out
>no
>hey anon lets go out
>no
>*tries to make up with him*
Ebin.

>4s and 5s
Projecting this hard.
>>
>>39327644
It's not what you say, but how you say it.
>>
>>39327571
Kind of thing happened to me in middle school some busy body bitch nobody liked asked me if I liked so and so. I lied and told her I didn't because I didn't trust her intentions or anyone's really. Looking back the girl I liked probably liked me cuz I would chat her up after class all the time and shit and I'm actually a good conversationalist but I was a fat and I thought no way a dimple faced cutie would like a fat. Regrets.... Long story short bitches shouldn't use their busy body friends to communicate they just fuck everything.
>>
>>39327033
>I wnuld have you hn shackles and make you beg for mercy rihgt now and. You wnuld me make me cum rhhtt now

Tell this ho, "you the one fixin' to get put in shackles." She'll eat that shit up.
>>
>>39326819
You will still lose your job and be the guy who got fired for sexual harassment in the eyes of anyone else who would potentially hire you.
>>
>>39327644
>>39327659
If you're worried about what to say, it won't work. This personality is simultaneously strong-willed and introspective, but not inhibited.
>>
>>39326483
Big wet eyes
>>
>>39327659
are you a type A? im actually feeling like im shifting from B to A. Im lately getting way more competitive and ambitious and aggresive at people if there for 1000nd fucking time fucking their simple job up. i was a super laid back kid. but then i got tired of floating through life and starting to do my best.
>>
>>39326586
Kek
>>
>>39327212
>>suddenly making out with her while still taped to the huge dutch guy
>>he just kept drinking and said "nice man"
my sides
>>
>>39327711
Yes. How old are you?
>>
>>39327523
>>39327455

>be me, male teacher, maybe 7/10, decent shape
>get a normiebook friend request from an ex-student (adult class so she's at least 21, think she was 25)
>messages me, says she saw my tinder profile and accidentally left swiped me, then regretted it, so added me
>talks at me over messenger for ages, minimal responses, constantly saying how she would get distracted in class
>one friday evening she's obviously drunk, tells me she once had to go home after my class and get herself off cos she got that horny in my class (not sure if I believe her)
>asks if i want to go for a drink
>say "yeah but we'll have to go out of town, can't really be seen with an ex-student this soon after you finished classes"
>we go to pub for drinks, play some pool, she keeps bending over in front of me
>make out a little bit then call it a night
>few days later messages me again, invites me round to her place
>she spends the entire time i'm at hers either a) telling me how hot i am b) running her hands all over my abs or c) riding my dick
>i have to put in zero effort but she's having the time of her life
>she falls asleep, i go home
>texts me the next day "i can't get over how hot you are"
>keeps texting things like "i'm just thinking about your body", "when am i going to see you again"
>she snapchats me so many things that I just don't care about, tries way too hard to get my attention on social media, or by message, constantly dropping her spaghetti

I am shit at greentext
>>
>>39326740
Como anda mi gente
>>
>>39327724
20
>>
>>39327751
At that age your personality type is already stabilized. Type B can look like Type A in some instances. Are you naturally observant? Do you copy behaviors easily? Are you more likely to be anxious or depressed?
>>
>be me
>drunk as hell last weekend at a University party with my bros
> get separated and too drunk to find anyone or move about the place
> old coworker of mine approaches me & we hangout the rest of the night
> female coworker is trying hard feeding me more alcohol and taking me to the roof or other secluded areas to talk because it's loud.
>3 hours of this and the party is starting to wind down
> "anon lets go home you can spend the night at my place you're too drunk to make it to your friends"
>agree as she lives in the same university housing village as my friends I can find them in the morning
> She calls us an uber
> as the uber pulls up to the village get the urge to just leave and go to my friends instead
>" Hey I'm going to go to my friends house actually"
>" are you sure you don't want to spend the night anon?"
>"no"
> gets out of uber and takes off.

haven't spoken to her since
>>
File: 1456025676666.gif (604KB, 960x540px) Image search: [Google]
1456025676666.gif
604KB, 960x540px
>>39325413
just like in my chinese cartoons
>>
>>39327773
yes yes no
>>
>>39327780
no joke, sounds like she was trying to rape you/take advantage. good thing you got out, thats super trashy to take advantage of someone by inebriating them
>>
>>39327838
Between anxiety and depression, which are you more likely to feel? Even below pathological levels.

Do you intimidate people frequenly with how strong you express yourself?
>>
>be me at 14 yo
>hottest girl in class comes to me and says
>you're gonna be one of those ceo guys, you're so intelligent
>14 yo awkward potato
>i say 'haha thanks'
>she says 'let's get married anon, haha'
>another qt 3.14 a little less hot than the other joins
>'no you're gonna marry me ok, anon?'
>i stand there with a smile and awkwardly say
>ha i'm gonna marry you both alright girls?
>they accept
>never kissed a girl in my life

Trying to get off of skeltal mode that only works when you're below 15 yo. after that girls just want the bigdudes
>>
>>39327646
>thread about girls spilling spaghetti
>story about a girl spilling spaghetti
the fuck did you think was happening in here you mongoloid?
>>
>>39327869
*frequently
>>
File: datpersonality.jpg (131KB, 854x674px) Image search: [Google]
datpersonality.jpg
131KB, 854x674px
>>
>>39327730
how old are u anon?
fuck, cant wait till i have made it this far
>>
>>39327890
>I'm not your typical girl
>t. typical girl
>>
>>39327902
28 bro, if you'd seen me at 18 you'd never think I'd make it, but we're all going to make it
>>
>>39327869
>Between anxiety and depression, which are you more likely to feel? Even below pathological levels.
i guess depression, i dont get anxious.
>Do you intimidate people frequenly with how strong you express yourself?
not frequently, but lately a lot actually
>>
>>39327890
>penis
>and dont say penis! ha ha ha
kekd
>>
>>39327919
even the friends i already had since i was pretty timid.
>>
>>39327912
heh, glad to hear, im 18
>>
>>39327890

FUCKING RUN
>>
>>39327919
You're probably a type B and I wouldn't encourage you to act like a type A - you need type B-specific advice. Good news is that you guys are the easiest people to identify with and therefore most likely to get good at seduction. Most Presidents are Type B.

I'd ignore most internet advice that teaches you primitive ideas about alpha behavior, as I would even if you were type A. Most social success, including seduction, isn't obvious to the untrained eye: http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/bjop.12208/abstract

If you ever learn seduction at a high level, I promise you it'll be based on subtler strategies. I can tell you how to exploit your strengths.
>>
>>39327730
>>she falls asleep, i go home
Like, right after she fell asleep? Did you leave her front door open for burglars and rapists and went home, or did you stay the night?
>>
>>39328002
>I can tell you how to exploit your strengths.
pls do sensei
>>
>>39327890
How disgusting. It's like she literally tried to get every cliche'd tinder bio put into one. Especially that
>Im 100% brutally honest and real
>my circle of girlfriends is so small
>t. bitch
>>
>>39328025
her key was on the inside of the door so i locked up and posted the key through the letterbox, pretty normal thing to do in the UK
>>
>>39327056
Kek
>>
File: gardinerDM1907_468x380.jpg (40KB, 468x380px) Image search: [Google]
gardinerDM1907_468x380.jpg
40KB, 468x380px
>>39326228
>im special to her
How many visits can you guy have per week in the padded cell?
>>
>>39328059
As a complete permavirgin with no experience in these matters, is it acceptable to just leave without saying a word after the other side went to sleep?
>>
>>39328088
i mean, it's not the most polite thing to do, but she knew i had to work the next day.

I wouldn't have done it to someone i was romantically interested in, but for a random hookup it's not that unusual
>>
>>39327218
What is a recital period?

Catholic thing?
>>
This Halloween I was told by an Aussie girl that I'm the most handsome guy she's ever seen.

Proud as fuck, yo!
>>
>>39327890
> i only hangout with dudes
> i think i'm intelligent but i misspell enigma

Idk how girls don't realize they are living a fucking cliche when they use those shitty buzzwords.

Fucking snowflake mentality triggers me so hard.
>>
>>39328033
There are other personality types beyond those two, but you guys are masters at the most important skill for success: metacognition.

People are easily impressed by how Type As seemingly don't give a fuck, but that's a high risk social strategy that alienates a shitload of people.

You do the opposite. People find you approachable, easy to relate to, they open up to you, share their problems and secrets if you learn to earn their trust. They usually find you encouraging and positive.

You're more likely than Type As to have a lot of friends and this is one reason you shouldn't act like us. Instead, use metacognition to your advantage. While Type As have to consciously decide to observe people if they want to predict their behavior, you can't help but do that, because you observe by default.

No other type does that. You have the psychological upper hand in almost every social interaction, except with other Type Bs.

The best you can do to improve your results is learn to adjust your behavior so that it corresponds to what the demographic of women you want to attract considers high status. Then you can microadjust to individuals, if you want to.

Find out what they like.

This includes clothing, places to hang out, entertainment to consume, patterns of speech and behavior. They'll be attracted by the things they desire and inclined to accept your invitations. When you're alone, remember this: imagination controls emotions. If you think about sex, you feel horny. Touch, verbal suggestion and even movies are your friends.

You can be totally "asexual" up to the point you're together in your bedroom and it'll work.
>>
>>39328112

I am Catholic, but the recital (this was one in 2013, I do a lot) in mention is that I do solo recitals as a classical musician. I just had one a couple weeks ago as well where another girl right before the recital sent me a page of text messages apologizing for not being able to go even though I hadn't physically seen her in two months and hadn't talked to her in any sense for three weeks. Was some premium spaghetti dropping as well.
>>
>>39327571
>girl x is into me; I am not into girl x
>girl x hangs around girl y a lot; I am into girl y
fucking this, all the goddamn time
>>
>>39328186
So by your response to her, you're waiting for marriage despite being usda prime man meat?

That's respectable.
>>
>texting girl
>we have a date lined up (nextflix and chill)
>she's apparently had a few drinks
>"not gonna lie, i'm nervous about tomorrow haha" [in reference to date]
>me: why blah blah
>"it's just you're really hot and really built so i'm nervous haha"
>>
File: 1450950757667.jpg (287KB, 800x1686px) Image search: [Google]
1450950757667.jpg
287KB, 800x1686px
>>39327730
either you're much higher than a 7/10 or all the other guys in your age bracket look like shit

Any stories involving them younglings?
>>
>>39328205
>That's respectable.
people who abstain from sex are out of touch with what it is.

0/10, beta
>>
>>39327875
pretty sure they were fucking with you bro
>>
>>39328185
thanks bro.

>You can be totally "asexual" up to the point you're together in your bedroom and it'll work.
dont know what you mean with this sentence though
>>
>>39327056
>still have to hit my macros

Fucking based
>>
>>39328205

Ha, let's go with that. I'm not premium man meat. I'm still dyel. I'm just waiting for the right significantly younger innocent Christian girl to fall into my trap.
>>
>>39328284
Even if there's no sexual innuendo up to the point you're alone with her, she'll be interested in fucking you due to the high status traits you displayed. Ambiguity can help you, as it'll keep her wondering if you want to fuck her.

Don't underestimate what I said about your ability to observe by default how other people think and feel. If you consciously use this to your advantage, your results will skyrocket.

Then you'll only need an excuse to be alone with her. Movies, music, whatever.
>>
>>39327218
Bro, she probably wants to fuck you while sober too. Just do it
>>
>>39326628
Heh... better luck next time...

>kid
>>
>>39327212
>he just kept drinking and said "nice man"

the dude
>>
>>39326822
>thats what made me cool

you were never cool
>>
>>39328317
I know what you are saying, but how do i even start? if i know how a girl feels how does that help me? how will my results skyrocket? i cant teach myself my man
>>
>>39326587

>can't stop being a total jerk

What a bitch ass excuse. Be a real man and control yourself
>>
>>39328257
no youngling stories other than the usual giggling when i'm teaching, or whispering to each other when i walk past

when you spend all day teaching 16-18 year old girls, you hear the stupid shit they say all the time and stop seeing them like humans.
>>
>>39326998
you sound like a faggot
>>
>>39328410
YOU sound like a faggot
>>
>>39327056
fuckin kek
>>
>>39328382
I'm trying to tell you that the opposite is true, but you have to start using your natural skills.

What kind of women are you attracted to? Metalheads, Christians, young professionals? Find out what kind of men they consider attractive. Become one of them while remaining congruent with your own personality.

Buy clothes that signal high status, go to the places they like and befriend everyone, learn to talk and behave like the people on top of this particular hierarchy.

The more items associated with high status you can display (material and immaterial), the more you'll generate attraction. The more people like you, the more the women will feel attracted to you. Then you won't need to "seduce" them until it's time to close the deal. They'll go along with you by inclination, like sexually interested friends.

I'm assuming you already know how to socialize. If you don't, learn to take their thoughts and feelings into account before you say anything. Do this in a way that you know will appeal to them.
>>
>>39327182
This nigga right

>>39327199
This nigga right

"Good looking" doesn't just refer to face and height as fucking autism /fit/ believes though.

If you got a nice haircut, well groomed, smell good, good fashion, good posture, assertive voice and frame, not to mention /fit/ you WILL do well with girls.
>>
File: 1456952859492.jpg (18KB, 310x175px) Image search: [Google]
1456952859492.jpg
18KB, 310x175px
>>39328133
Congrats my man! How was the accent?
>>
>>39328474
allright, to be honest i literally like all women, if there not a 4. chubby, skinny, emoish, tidy, rich, tall, short, huge/small boobs/ass. so i guess thats the hardest part, i cant really blend in with one group because than i have a lower chance with the girls from a other group.
>>
>>39328506
almost all parts of a body, but personality too, like you said proffesional or metalhead i like it almost all.
>>
File: 1449558324460.jpg (7KB, 224x225px) Image search: [Google]
1449558324460.jpg
7KB, 224x225px
>>39326621
>tfw merican
>tfw dating coworker
>>
>>39326628
>"I like your shirt anon"
>It's not for sale
>>
>>39328506
Nah, you're good. I still recommend you learn to dress well. Even if you overdress, it won't hurt you. Underdressing will.

Still, learn to be agreeable, to connect with people. Talk about things people like in general, like pop culture, avoid dumb disagreements. Have a fun life so that others will want to join you.

It's easier if you go regularly to the same places, though, as that'll give you standards to aspire to and a social circle for friendships and casual sex.

Then you apply the previous advice.
>>
>>39326459
no its bolognese dumbass
>>
>>39328588
>avoid dumb disagreements
pfew this gon be hard. Usually i have this a lot, people say the dumbest shit ever and i always have to correct them, but people rather stay dumb than be corrected.
>>
>>39328624
That's why I told you to use your observations on how they think and feel before you act. Then act in a way that they'll associate with high status behavior.

Btw, there's nothing wrong with pleasing people, unless you're a doormat.
>>
>>39328651
what is the line? when are you a doormat?
>>
>>39328474
THANK U

this nigga knows whats up i've been trying to tell /fit/ this shit for days.

>>39328624
listen to that guy, I am alpha type B and you need to use your brain in order for this shit to work. You're already thinking much more about much more things than the average type A or normie or something is thinking.
>>
>>39328674
When you're submissive, when you have no dignity, when you allow people to treat you like shit.

You don't please people because you NEED their approval, you do it on principle. If they like assholes, you leave.
>>
>>39328674
*If they act like assholes, you leave
>>
File: 99798_1.jpg (10KB, 285x214px) Image search: [Google]
99798_1.jpg
10KB, 285x214px
>>39326972
>>39326980
>>39326991
>>39327002

>MFW reading this.

I'm assuming she's severely ugly or something.
>>
>>39325252
Doesn't lean make you fat? My friends offer but I always decline
>>
>>39328677
Thanks for the thumbs up. I'm a strange creature in that I'm a Type A who optimized for metacognition. We're rare. You can probably see that based on how I communicate.
>>
File: 1448342655796.jpg (115KB, 902x1024px) Image search: [Google]
1448342655796.jpg
115KB, 902x1024px
>>39328399
If you were a few years younger, weren't a teacher (but still know what you know now), would you date a highschooler, assuming she was legal?
>>
>>39328677
lol dude its not like normies dont think about anyhting. A lot of times i just hear something that isnt true and i tell them that, i would actually be happy if people would correct me, how can you even be mad at that.
but a lot of times people dont like it, and even say im stubborn, for telling them facts. im not a autistic knowitall but some people are just so stupid that they get offended i think.

>>39328687
thanks, i hope your advice pays off
>>
>>39328651
Most people don't care about being right as much as they care about not being talked down to. Unless you're already close/friendly with someone, don't bother correcting them, it's almost always a waste of time.
>>
>>39328738
at 28, the youngest I'd date is about 21, i follow the simple rule of "Half of your age, plus 7", so 14+7.

I'd only date an 18 year old if I was 21 or younger.
>>
>>39328738
RUDE
>>
Girls have no idea that they can even spill spaghetti if they're attractive.

I don't know about ugly girls, I don't pay attention to them.
>>
>>39327218
D E V I L I S H
>>
>>39328759
Yup, that's what I was trying to tell him. People who correct others all the time usually are on automatic pilot. They do it unthinkingly. I told him to take other people's perspective into account.
>>
>>39328808
I get that, and sure ill stop i know people can think its anoying. I just dont really get it. With facts there are no perspectives some things are just one way or the other. Most basic people dont seem to understand that though.
>>
>>39325175
I'm 6'2 but live in the Netherlands. So everyone is about 6 to 6'2.
>>
>>39325114
Yea, but generally just 7s and below. Maybe had an 8 once or twice get spaghetti.
>>
>>39326628
So you decided not to teleport behind her, why?
>>
>>39328269
maybe, but she was always very nice to me
>>
>>39327432
Ayy Aggie bro. Bus route 1 or 6?
>>
>>39327010
She had this very olive colored skin but wasn't a turk.
>>
>>39328832
Eh, facts can be distorted and information sources as well as personal philosophies play large part in that.

But as someone who'd rather be corrected than wrong 100% of the time, I understand your struggle anon.
>>
>>39328750
Llol you have so much to learn. Try having an intellectual conversation with a normie girl. Don't get into dumb arguments, don't correct people. There's no point. You need to be secure in your intelligence that you dont have to impose it on others.
>>
>>39327455
> wen't
>>
>>39327056

Someone cap this
>>
>>39327312
>adding your mom on snapchat
>>
>>39327091

kek
>>
>>39326819
i once jokingly spanked a girl i work with and said "good job" once, she replied "Hey!..." and kinda left it.
i lift but im far from chad, and this was a year ago. im pretty sure im asspergers, still im i lucky that nothing has come from this yet?
>>
>>39328598
Not him, but i say Bologna sauce, too. It sounds funnier.
>>
>>39328977
Sure.
I just dont get how normie girls, and boys for that matter can be so stupid or just plainly not care about anything except clothes or the latest drama from clubbibg last friday. Dont they want to have a bright future? Dont they have hobbies they wanna focus on? Its not like they have a different brain. This is not the case with everyone but with a lot it is. Its just weird.
>>
>>39326493
>>39326560
>>39326627
>>39326656
I'm serious with this shit and I'm not proud lol
Oh and I forgot another little spicy detail... few months later I met my long term gf.. Later found out that fat-chick is her cousin
>mfw she's still my gf today
>mfw this fugly hoe is related to my gf
>mfw fml
Numerous keks were had
>>
>>39327890

>inigma
>>
>>39327512
Silence Juan, you have to go back.
>>
Type bro how do I determine my type?
>>
>>39329167
Read the descriptions online and then think of all the people you know who clearly fall under each category. Then compare yourself to THEM. Descriptions usually lack important details.
>>
>>39329124
It sounds like you're not interested in them. If you think they're stupid and boring then don't talk to them. Find some smart people with hobbies to challenge yourself. I'm serious, just ignore them altogether. And yes they do have a different brain. Their brains are turned "on" for "fun" and the "moment" while yours is turned "on" for "thought" and the "future" totally different behaviours.
>>
>>39329206
Well, it was easy to tell that I'm an A, what do I do now?
>>
>>39329244
Find a fulfilling way to live according to your strengths.
>>
>>39329262
Thanks, will do!
>>
>>39329244
>>39329262
I'll give you this: vipassana meditation solves all problems typically connected to the Type A. Buddha himself was one. Aside from that, remember to take other people's perspectives into account when you interact with them.

The rest I'm sure you can figure out.
>>
Double spaghetti story incoming:
>picking up groceries and party supplies at publix
>second in line services by qt
>we make eye contact and her eyes dart away before I can even smile
>step up to her register when its my turn
>we exchange pleasantries, while she checks me out (see what i did there?)
>whole time she was avoiding eye contact
>after I pay she says "Your eyes are really...Dark"
>the pseudo-compliment catches me way off guard
>she sees my confused expression and tries to say something about how she meant it in a good way
>I just laugh and say " I know, I should never have children"
>the entire supermarket gets quiet
>the sweet aroma of garlic and oregano fill the store, Maria in customer service has olfactory flashbacks to the old country
>I smile, wave good bye and trail mamas Marsala all the way through the parking lot.
>>
>>39329064
It's only locker room tomfoolery!
>>
>>39326606
...
>>
>>39326177
>>39325495
keke'd
>>
>>39329310
You need to lay off the drugs.
>>
>>39329504
wat
>>
yea, back when we had some lectures/labs together she would always stutter a bit when I said hi to her and she seemed genuinely happy when I talked to her. I thought she was attractive and I tend to take friendliness as attraction sometimes.

I was dating at the time but I really liked her and would have been forward to asking her out but the thought of it made me feel guilty. I'm single now, she isn't in my program and I rarely ever see her. I could fb message her but even then I feel like it would be creepy.
>>
>>39325114
Yeah, I had a qt asian gf from New York, but I'm in Europe so we had to Skype.
One day she spilled her spaghetti about how she likes me and asks if I know the term "Koi no Yokai" awkwardly. She was the qtiest.
Of all the girls there was ever a chance with, I probably have the most regrets about her, literally wife material.
>>
File: 1469593197928.png (135KB, 288x415px) Image search: [Google]
1469593197928.png
135KB, 288x415px
>>39325583
First Times Thread?

>be 14
>in marching band
>liftin and running like crazy, losing a shit ton of weight and getting tall n shit
>bitches mirin
> theres this awkward girl, 18, whos ugly but fuckable
>shes with an unattractive lanky creep whos younger than her by like a year
>Talks to me all the time about stuff idgaf about but I'm too shy to say "I don't care."
>She graduates and I move on
>next year be 15
>Marching Band Girl comes back into my life
>She learned how to dress, still not perfect, but better
>she invites me to the gym
>agree
>skip school and she comes to my house
>she hints she wants a hug/kiss
>I kiss her
>was like kissing a wet octopus hole
>tells me I'm an amazing kisser
>cringe hard because she's beginning to wheeze and expose braces
>have gone too far, but cannot stop
>I suggest we take it to the next level
>she agrees and stares intensively at my eyes from my lower chest and loudly exclaims "Well?!"
>"Well what?"
>she wanted me to carry her honeymoon style to my fucking bed room
>>
>>39328700
nah she was alright, probably from a more repressed household tho.
>>
>>39330246
cont.
>I pick her up and walk her to the bathroom bc I don't wanna bend down to do anything to this womanlet
>making out n shit
>clothes start to come off
>shits getting nice, shes got a nice body except shes got a little bit of love handles that cut off dramatically
>pull down her pants, see the most obvious dark spot ever
>cant hide my disgust
>"Marching Band Girl, when was the last time you shaved?"
>she says never
>oh god
>mama didnt raise a quitter, pull her panties down
>moist wet pubic hair grips my fingers
>smells like sea salt and expired air freshener
>her mom calls, says she needs to come home (she is poor and lives with her family still)
>thank god
>she texts me later, and i flirt with her
>basically says she wants me to fuck her
>my virgin dick perks up and I agree
>three weeks later
>>
File: H2lPHJP.jpg (270KB, 700x980px) Image search: [Google]
H2lPHJP.jpg
270KB, 700x980px
>>39330318
>she comes over
>replay of what happens last time
>continue where i left off
>begin to get cold feet
>get nude
>get soft when I see that she hadnt shaved like I asked
>lose any remaining drive I had
>decide I'll eat her out to keep her going, I'm determined to lose virginity
>oh my god it was awful
>pussy was sweaty and hadnt been cleaned
>tfw im spongebob when he tasted gary's food when I stuck my tongue on her cooch
>suffer through seasalt and gym sweat while questioning sexuality
>feel liquid drip down throat
>pull back
>shes squirting on me
>WAIT
>THATS NOT CUM, THATS PISS
>she had misscharged
>jack myself off ashamedly while i put on a condom
>she starts grinding me on the couch
>sounds like a chicken got ran over and is suffering to live while she moans in my ear, decide I am tired and ready to get it on
>pick her up and carry her to bed
>fall over onto bed
>she gasps and i thrust twice
>croaks out a "...s-stop"
>mfw she says she is having a heart attack and cant breathe
>>
>>39330410
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Female_ejaculation
>>
File: 1471652552923.jpg (148KB, 768x1024px) Image search: [Google]
1471652552923.jpg
148KB, 768x1024px
>>39330410
>pull out dick
>she says she just wants to go to the gym
>I ask if she can finish me off
>she says I guess
>have to teach her how to give a handjob, she sucks at it
>subtly hint for a blowjob
>directly ask for blowjob when she doesnt get what I want
>"Do I have to?"
>tell her that its worth a shot
>she very remorsefully tells me how previous bf forced her to suck his dick and starts to cry
>dont know what to do
>get clothes on and illegally drive to the gym with her in the passenger seat
>try to teach her to exercise like I asked
> she seems dead the whole time in a regretful way
>tell her Im ready to go
>on the way home, tell her she took my virginity
>she says i took hers
>goes on long rampage on how shes had a shitty life growing up and says SJW like things about her Dad
>decide im not supposed to deal with a legal age adults bs and just nod
>tell her I dont wanna talk to her anymore when she randomly texts me "Im broken, Anon, fix me."
>she says I need to block her on everything
>I do
>sometimes see her when I go to football games
>act like it never happened

...and thats how I lost my virginity at fifteen to a nineteen year old for three pumps before stopping.
Thread posts: 349
Thread images: 44


[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y] [Search | Top | Home]

I'm aware that Imgur.com will stop allowing adult images since 15th of May. I'm taking actions to backup as much data as possible.
Read more on this topic here - https://archived.moe/talk/thread/1694/


If you need a post removed click on it's [Report] button and follow the instruction.
DMCA Content Takedown via dmca.com
All images are hosted on imgur.com.
If you like this website please support us by donating with Bitcoins at 16mKtbZiwW52BLkibtCr8jUg2KVUMTxVQ5
All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties.
Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the content originated from that site.
This means that RandomArchive shows their content, archived.
If you need information for a Poster - contact them.