I need 100% guaranteed colon busters. I have powerful chronic

get a colonoscopy done because you sound like a candidate for cancer

Preworkout ane caffeine are good diuretics. I usually take a nice poop after taking a scoop or 2.

If you want aome heavy doody shit take 2 scoops of hyde preworkout.

>>39233858
Have you tried.. GOING TO SEE A DOCTOR, YOU FUCKING RETARD?

>2016
>Using 4chan as your doctor

>>39233978
>>39233955
I know the cause of my constipation, just tell me what makes you personally poop and makes your toilet regret being with you.

>>39233858
vit C tabs (mine are 1g per tab), dissolve them in water and drink a lot relatively fast (like 3 tabs in 1,5 L bottle and drink it under an hour), you will be pissing from your asshole

>>39233974
Caffeine also is too weak. I can feel some action but not even a fart gets through with caffeine

>>39234000
Vitamin C huh? I never heard that before. Do you know enough to tell me why it causes a reaction like that?

> what makes you personally poop
canned corn

Magnesium citrate. It's like $2 and supposed to work within a couple hours

t. someone who just had to drink it for a colonoscopy this week

>>39234129
Yeah, Magnesium.

I have what you have anon. After 2 Ops and 5 years of trying different things here's what you do.

Drink water

Eat veg

Eat fruit

Don't eat beef

Don't eat dairy

Don't eat cereal or bran

Eat fish

Reduce sauces

Figs and prune juice

Exercise

Oh and water again....

Follow this and you will get back to normal for the most part. I still have the odd sachet of laxido incase but honestly... Pick the right foods... Not just whatever you feel like

>>39234129
This
>buy it thinking it's similar to milk of magnesium
>drink before class expecting to shit in a few hours
>25 minutes into class
>hear the grumbling of an angry god
>sprint to bathroom without saying a word to classmates or professor
>tackle through stall door and shit some of the foulest shit I've ever shat
>don't even bother to shut the stall door because the fountain that is my ass keeps churning a steady stream for a solid minute or two
>finally stops
>wipe, flush, and stand up
>actually feel lighter
>wash hands
>hear splashing
>the toilet I was in is overflowing
>decide to skip the next two hours of class and go home

>>39233998
personally? like i ruin my gastro tract?

cajun food, indian food, thai food in that order

the spicy level is stupid hot

Always take miralax on an empty stomach. It doesnt work if you take it after eating.

Have dinner one night at 7pm and then dont eat. The next day at 6 pm take like 7 servings of miralax and try to drink like 2 liters of water that night and just keep drinking water through the night and the next morning. If you are not drinkiing tons of water there is no water for the miralax to introduce into your stool and youll just see like a soupy gel like coating on your rock hard stools because as I said there was no water for the absortion. By the next morning you should be feeling some releif and by 8pm the next night (so 24 hours after you took the miralax) you should be ready to poop but if for some reason you are not then I do another 7 servings of miralax and drink as much more water as I can. With this certainly by the next morning Ill be exploding poop (usually Ill wake up at 4am to poop if I've gotten this far) and if for some reason I still havent pooped I go in with my hands and claw the shit out like an animal and the mirax will have at least shoftened things up and the poop further away from the buthole is usually very soft from the miralax. Also the miralax will build up pressure behind the blockage to help you push it out.

12 hours after your first dose of miralax you can start eating again but keep it light or ideally you shouldnt eat until youve pooped.

Signed, a former heroin addict

>>39233858
Once you get over your constipation, eat a bowl of raisin bran a day and get more fiber in your diet.

File: aintneverseen.gif (3KB, 324x216px) Image search: [Google]

3KB, 324x216px

>>39233858
Best Colon Blow Ever .....

chopped spinach with sweet potato.

2 hours later.... Hall of the Mountain King.

>>39234067
This. One full can and you will blow out everything you ever ate the next morning

Ask your fucking doctor, and be honest with him about why you're constipated.

/fit/ doesn't know shit.
>pun intended.

>>39233998
What about an enema?

Anyways, coffee always does it for me.

3x daily recommended dose of magnesium.
excess mg collects water in your colon.
will make you pee out of your butt.

>>39233858
Just drink some cooking oil and you will shit for days

>>39234129
Yeah, Manjizzium.