>tfw haven't shat in 4 days

Drink some coffee, it makes my ass explode 100%

>>39123544
I thought I was the only one...

I hope you don't suffer from hemorrhoids. I can't go a single day without shitting or I will die

>>39123544
>Brew some coffee
>Two sips™ in my guts go nuclear
>Go take a dump
>The coffee is cold when I go back to the kitchen

Every fucking morning

Twice a day here

Mix bag of veggies

>tfw I drink 7oz of coffee while smoking
>no poo in sight

>>39123636
> Not shitting with your cuppa

You are your own gains goblin, friend

>>39123506
Take nicotine. When the snus hits I always shuffle to the toilet.

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>>39123506
>No toilet paper
>Too lazy to go out and buy some
>Instead, sit here stewing with a DEFCON 1 shit loaded and ready to detonate at a moment's notice

Living life on the EDGE

>>39123506
>tfw can only peepee into peepee bottles

>>39123565
roughly 30% of people have their digestion stimulated by coffee, it's perfectly normal.

>>39123679
this
nothing like sitting naked on the toilet in the early morning enjoying a nice cup of coffee and then hopping straight into the shower afterwards

>tfw taking the first shit in 5 days after drinking milk of magnesia
>rockets out so hard that I have shit splattered all over my bass
Guess I'm walking naked to the shower when I'm done

>>39123750
Just take a shower afterward you baka motherfucker

>>39123816
>and dick

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>>39123506
Drink a few glasses of Prune "juice" (usually 70% prune, 30% apple juice) and wait about 3-4 hours.

Trust me. You'll shit like never before.

You know that it's working when your belly starts growling.

Don't stay too far away from the toilet for the next few hours.

>>39123506

Take 600mg of a Magnesium supplement. You'll be dropping dindus in no time.

>>39123819
??? and wipe ass with my hand while showering and dry with my towel?

Fucking nasty. Hand and towel will smell like shit for days. Also the drain will start smelling like shit as well since it's not meant for solids.

>>39123948
go easy on him he's clearly autistic

>>39123783
I did this plus a cheeky ciggy when I lived alone.

Man do I miss living alone

>>39123506
1 big mug of hot coffee, 1 cigarrette, 1 warm shower, you will shit after this

>>39123948
do you know what soap is?

should probably go to the doctor

once I went 3 days w/o shitting and then I had unbearable pain in my intestines. not enough fiber and my shit compacted

they gave me some super laxtive called magnesium something and I filled the toilet 3 times

>>39123566
Same, it sucks

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>>39123506
had 3 shits this morning

>>39123544
>>39123565

coffee is the key - I can't make it through my first cup without needing to drop that deuce