ULTIMATE Gymnasium Devil/Alpha thread

Lmao op you're a genius

> be girl see tiny manlets doing squats
> go stand next to them and stare at their asses
> guy reracks weight I ask in a cutesy voice "Mind if I work in?"
>manlet stutters "s-sure let me take the weight off for you"
>respond "That's okay, I got it." And proceed to take off the 25 pound plates and remove the bar. Then make a big show of raising the bar two rungs to my height.
>go to warmup with the bar and pretend I don't know what I'm doing, bat eyelashes and say "hey can you show me how it's done?"
>watch manlet struggle to reach the bar, it's a full 6 inches above his shoulders
>That's okay I got it. Put the 25s on and rep out 10 for OHP

>Yell out "Pussy weight!" With 80lb dumbbells next to guy who's also doing shoulder presses with 25s

>>39122021
Based

I haven't seen female gym devils but that's a good one.

>>39122033
I did the same next to a dyel lanket (I'm 6'1 as a proper gym devil ought to be but this nigger was like 6'4 or higher I swear) deadlifting 225 like a pussy

>Repped 405 for 8 dropping it each rep, dumped the plates then left

>>39121977
>be me
>2 hours workout
>only one single squatrack in gym
>do entire workout in squatrack including all accessories like curls and shrugs
>refuse beta nu-males to work in

ALPHA AS FUCK

>>39121977
... I hope a 25kg plate drops on your sternum. You wanker.

>>39122148
U mad gym employee?

>>39121977
>bending barbells
you fucking dense cunt

>>39122176
U mad normie?

I slam 6plate rackpulls into the safeties.

You dont understand. I don't just let go and let gravity do it's job. I LITERALLY slam them into the safeties

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>>39122183

>>39122237
ps i have depression and this thread made me laugh more than I have in months

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>>39122021

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>>39122183
kekd

>>39122021
>be girl

>>39122183

Reminds me of my first time deadlifting 5 plates

>alone in the gym
>hyped and scared as fuck
>setup really long amping up
>begin pull, moves off the floor but gets stuck
>yell FUUUUUUUUCK and manage to get it up
>SLAM the BAR to the FLOOR
>I swear the earth shifted
>some dudes from a floor below run upstairs and ask if everything is ok

>>39122021
fuck you you awful cunt that's not funny

>>39121977
>see DYELs hogging the benchpress
>unrack all the plates next time I see them
>put them back, but with all the lightweights at the back
>they now have to go through 100kg of weight to reach their babby weights
>see them nervously glancing at the plates and just going to the Dumbbells
>bench is now secure

>>39123334
lol

>24 hour gym
>Come in at midnight and leave the lights on

>>39122183
>>39122021

fucking gold

>>39123334
Dude, I think we go to the same gym.

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>>39122183
SOMEBODY LOCK THIS GUY UP

I go into the gym on Sundays when there's no staff so I can do my deadlifts and snatches and cleans with metal plates

>need 2.5lb plates
>there are none on my rack
>the rack next me has some
>take them without asking the person working there
a devil

Devilish

>>39123488
>recover
Recovery implies learning from the experience, and what do we know about manlets?

>>39121977
>guy ask me for a spot on bench
>stand directly over him with my dinky doo right in his face
>when im directly standing over him I let out a fucking gnarly ass fart
>he gags but proceeds to bench
>I put both hands on the bar stealing his chest gains

Another occasion
>some guy ask me for a spot on squat
>get right behind him, breathing down his neck with my willie in between his ass
>put both hands around his chest and move my fingers around his nipples
Lol the fag was so distracted he didn't even finish his set

>>39125512
thats not being /devilish/, thats called autism friendo

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>>39121977
>doing heavy deadlifts
>ask a DYEL manlet for a spot
>in between reps I yell at him for interfering too much with my lift

>>39127496
>Spot for deadlift

>>39127496
i smell bs on diddly lift spot

>>39123334
>>39123405
kek

Guy asks me to pass him a 5kg pl8

Frisbee a 25kg one at his head

>qt 3.14 doing squats
>lanklet faggot working up courage to talk to her
>walk over first
>'hey bby i like how you drop that ass down HURR HURR'
>filthyleer.jpg
>she quickly finishes her set and leaves
>lanklet looks crushed at being cockblocked
>give him a shit eating grin

Lanklets when will they learn

>>39121977
>save smegma in a small cup for 2 weeks
>go to gym
>use weights
>smear smeg all over them
>put back on rack

>>39129903

I like to smear my shit on the inside of locker handles so other patrons get a smelly suprise

I also pour oil infront of the sinks so when they run to wipe it off they go flying

Quality thread, OP. Thank you for your service

>>39123298
Insecure manlet detected

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>>39121977
>someone asks for a spot
>walk away as soon as he needs help

If i see someone bigger than me, i follow him home and eat his meals when he's not looking.