Who /severely depressed/ here

>>39016986
Used to be

>>39016986
Lexapro and lifting are a start

I was. But I kept focusing on the fact that I was happy before, so I constantly knew I could be there again. So I actively worked towards not being a sad sack and in around a year I overcame it. If I kept wallowing in my own shit I'd still be depressed I'm sure

>>39016986
started eating more and it went away

>>39017076
in my opinion lexapro should only be takin for people extremely depressed and just need to get out of that initial hole. I have a lot of experience with taking it and it seems to just numb me and make me flat. Its good cause you dont feel the lows but you also dont really feel the highs either. I found that regular exercise and diet worked way better. But hey thats just me

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>only see her around 2 months a year
>her family adores me, but they have no idea about our relationship, and were to scared to talk to them about it
>when I'm with her I feel so happy just being able to spend time with her
>while lying in bed with her the looming thought of the deadline back home lingers in the back of my head
>say goodbye and fly back home, ache until I see her again

Just bought some plane tickets to see her during winter break a few months away, nothing else is on my mind. It's crazy thinking people have it worse than me, not having a sweetheart to keep close; to think about. Even if it's just for a few weeks at a time I can still be with her. I'm not really /severely depressed/ , but I do ache without being with her.

>>39016986


I uhm, I think I am. I haven't seen a doctor yet, but I'm gonna do next week.

It is really weird, I spend the night with a chick who's father is genuinely depressed and we talked a bit about that before we came back to what my biology teacher would refer to as "heavy petting", and since that , I did some googling and well, shit dog.

Here goes my story. I'm 22 now, this starts in 2013.

> Finish school and decide to have an idle year, because why not, recently broke up with my gf and all
> start working at a grocery store, for having a bit of money, find new girl, start a relationship, work out regularily
> have no problems whatsoever except having to wake up at 6:00 two or three times a week boohoo.
> turns out this chick wants to go to a whole different place to study, which is like 4 hours away, she decides wh sould break up
> move to study at my university anyways
> uni starts, whole new place, don't know anyone, find no friends in uni, because I'm shy.
> start missing classes, only leave house when i have to
> after like two months i realise, english and history is not my thing at all
> decide to change, only possible in winter, so spend one semester in idle
> spend my days watching youtube, being useless
> give up working out almost completely
> become very lonely
> except for my gf, with which I come together again, but that's a different story
> change to agricultural studies, find a job
> still lonely, still useless, cant manage to find a routine to follow, lose interest in almost anything, lose passion
> can't find any motivation for studying, skip classes feel like shit

Because that's the weird thing: I still have extremely high standards, when it comes to myself and failing all the time only makes it worse

> about one month ago
> break up with my gf, because I could sense, there is something terribly wrong with me. Feel better for a bit, think it's the ease of being held in a relationship. I wan't even sad, I still am not. 1/2

>>39018366

2/2

> but I now realise there in fact is something wrong with me, which isn't connected to her in any way. ( I guess maybe I'm gonna regret braking up with her, but oh well)
> There is a good therapist here in town, which I'm gonna try and see.


None of my family or friends know this. I don't want them to know, I think. Stuff like this spreads and people are going to think I'm crazy.
And still, this gives me hope. Maybe there actually is a solution to my struggle, maybe I can better myself and start a better life, without being numb and blue all the time.

Another thing, which is new: I remember stuff, I know I did and I think: Duuude, that was me? I did that?
It just seems so unreal to me, that I once was a different person, who actually accomplished stuff

>>39018349
Bro you need to start dating more.
There are hundreds, thousands, or perhaps millions of single women that live within a one hour drive from your house. You're hurting yourself by commiting to a girl that requires a plane ticket in order to meet.

>>39018498

Oneitis is powerful shit man. Who knows, it might be true love and all, He thinks that, I'm sure.

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>>39016986
me. I believe I have narcissistic personality disorder and I kinda suffer a life crisis now:
>tfw 24 y/o virgin
and I haven't really achieved anything by now

now what I now about depression wich I get once a day or call it bad mood or whatever:
don't do anything stupid.
like go to work/uni five times a week, call your grandma once in a while, hang out with your friends even if you don't want to and of course hit the gym and always get your protein, water, sleep calories

being mature means doing things you don't want to do because you have to do them

could I help someone?

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Me mate. Have to keep reminding myself to live in the present and not the past. I spend almost every waking hour ruminating when I should be enjoying life at 23 years of age.

I've been happy before, I just need to remember how.

>>39018785
Until the past present and future become indistingushable and life becomes one long line that you just want to be free from.

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Depression is fucking fake, don't believe the media lies. Eat well, build testosterone, find hobbies, get into ten. Not video games. Read books, psychology and philosophy, literature. You're not depressed, you're just severely dumb and don't know why. Do not fucking DARE support big pharma and go on antidepressants. If you do this like I once did, your sexual drive and masculinity will be decreased so you won't have to pity yourself, which is exactly what they want. Also antidepressants are probably a placebo FYI

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>spend a couple months flirting with classmate, she is fat and a womanlet but we sat next to each other and just got along perfectly, she turns me down everytime I try to set up a date
>after a while I just give her the cold shoulder but she keeps trying to start a conversation
>weight myself on a whim after a year of "dieting and exercising" and shit my pants when I discover I'm still 96kg.
>start browsing /fit/ and fix my diet and workouts/cardio, lose 15kg in 4months, she stays fat, swears to be dieting and going on walks every day as her doctor recommended
>summer holydays happen
>whole class compliments me on my gains, she doesn't say shit
>she is even fatter than before, her arms looks misshapen sausages
>have to spend another year with her in my classroom and she keeps trying to flirt every now and then
>"anon you should sit next to me like last year"
>trys and cockblocks me when I get along with the other girls
>"Don't you dare get close to anon or we'll have a cat fight tee hee hee"

At this point I don't know if she's fucking with me or just retarded. If she doesn't stop this bullshit by next week I plan to plainly tell her to fuck off

>>39016986
You want to not be depressed anymore? Here's how you do it.

1. NO DRUGS. EVER. They are POISON.
2. Identify problems you can't solve -- and PUSH THEM ASIDE instead of obsessing over them
2. Identify problems you CAN solve -- and START SOLVING THEM.
3. Get out of your own headspace. You sit there in your room, obsessing over shit you can't do anything about, and you get stuck in an endless loop. GO OUTSIDE. DO SOMETHING ELSE.
4. Do NOT isolate yourself. Go hang out with friends. Do NOT talk about your 'problems' or how 'depressed' you are to them. HAVE FUN. Do weird shit if you have to, just to break out of the loop.
5. Clean up your living space. Disordered house=disordered mind.
6. REARRANGE your living space. Break out of the endless loop!
7. READ IN BED. Not shitting you. Go to sleep thinking about the book you're reading, NOT SHIT YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT.
8. EXERCISE. See #3. Even going walking for a few miles is good.
9. BE HAPPY. Yes, it can sometimes just be that goddamned simple: DECIDE TO BE HAPPY. Depression is addictive. Being a victim all the time means you're not responsible for anything. STOP THINKING THAT WAY.

I'm an old fucker now and already went through all this shit -- including almost fucking myself up permanently with poisonous antidepressant shit, so no one can tell me I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about.

Now get busy. You're fighting yourself! Stop doing that, because when you fight yourself, you ALWAYS lose.

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>>39018961
>I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about

You don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Just because you got prescribed xanax or fuck knows what by your lazy doc doesn't mean SSRIs don't work. You sound like one of those fucking hippy vegan/homeopaths

>>39017121
I used to take zoloft. However I wasn't taking it properly. I mixed it with of xanax, oxycontin, and nodoze. I called it my 'robot cocktail' Hard to describe what it did to me but I guess I would equate it to how psychopaths feel in regards to having to empathy and being self-serving. However, I wasn't a jerk to anyone. I only added the zoloft because when you pepper it in randomly it made me feel zippy and a bit energetic before you body gets accustomed to the effects.

>>39018462

Sounds like you do need therapy. Might also be an endorphine issue or something, something beyond your control, since you were fine before. Good luck anon.

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Im pretty depressed. Slowly making my way out, still a neverending journey.

Previously tried committing suicide over oneitis, rehab over xans, avoided friends, $100 bank account for a year, sleeping in my car and my mind was blasted bro. Never ending thought loops about horrible shit.

Now got rid of thoughts, they're all positive and promote a good self image. Reconnected with all old friends in a good light. Talking to plenty of girls, lots of mirin. Thr most happy i am though is whats going on in my head. I'm slowly avoiding needyness and clinging to anyone or anything. I have a way of speaking that ignites thoughts in people. I use whatever empathy i can feel off people to an advantage. Just relearning my brain and starting to really like it.

For anyone here, listen to sadghuru and les brown, find other people that help you. Listen a lot. Create a repetitive pattern you can follow daily and grow daily. Stay alpha af. Beta aint the life.

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>>39018498
>>39018541
I had a very close childhood friend named Zoey while growing up. We did everything together, one night we ended up getting curious when our parents weren't around and we started fooling around, as years went on we kept escalating our affection we felt for each other after what happened that night. I lost my virginity when I was 11, but she technically she lost hers at 14 (Broken hymen).

We used to live right next to each other, but since she moved away freshman year it's been harder to see each other frequently. I usually fly out to see her on special occasions like summer break and other long term holidays.
We almost have everything set in place to go to uni after our final year of high school, but times like these were I can't physically touch/see her is when it's the hardest. We've had a lot of stories together and I've even written some out (camping/Cabin trips,Birthdays, late night sleepover, Hotel room escapades, ect).

I can't really develop strong romantic feelings to other girls, I've just had Zoey all my life and have never felt anything else but her. I don't know /fit/ I guess everyone is trying to get /fit/ in their own way be it mentally or physically. I just do it because of a small comment that really got to me the last time we saw each other "you're getting pretty thin Spencer, hope you don't miss me too much".

>>39018961
Completely true, altho #4 is really help full at times to velt out emotions. If you do it to much you'll just start asking for pity.
Lifting has kept me so occupied and has really boosted my self-esteem, there is nothing you can't get through.

>>39019025
NO, ASSHOLE, I WAS ON 80mg OF GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING PROZAC FOR THREE YEARS AND WHEN I FINALLY GOT OFF IT I WAS LIKE A GODDAMNED ZOMBIE!

Then I learned to FIX MY OWN SHIT and have never needed that fucking shit again.

LEARN TO FIX YOUR OWN SHIT, IT'S THE ONLY REAL LONG-TERM SOLUTION!

>drugfags
Fucking ADDICT

>>39018961

good post lad

>>39016986
Not me

>>39019121

Fucking kek gotta screencap this one

>on maximum daily dose of drug that's pretty much not effective for depression
>calls others addicts

That's my point jiggaboo, you might as well have snorted xanax since you were on wrong meds, and now you're preaching bullshit.

You should also look into anger management to "FIX YOUR OWN SHIT" lel

>>39019238
You moron.. when I was on Prozac, *that was ALL they had*, it was that long ago.

Cognitive therapy (aka FIXING YOUR OWN SHIT) is a BETTER long term solution than ANY drugs. If you don't believe that then you either have never dealt with clinical depression, or you're addicted to antidepressants. Either way YOU should not be giving anyone advice on this subject, you clearly don't know what you're doing.

>>39019238
There's always at least one of you jackasses in every discussion like this.
>Antidepressants are the ONLY way to cure depression!
NO, IT IS NOT.
Get correct, druggie. Stop drinking the pharma-industrial-complex kool-aid.

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I am a fairly good person, 7/10 looks to the average woman.

I've talked to 5 girls in the last year and my problem is finding girls I like. I will catch oneitis for a month-half a year, talk to the girl, maybe she will be interested, nothing will happen and I will stay in denial until the next girl.

I'm a senior in high school and have the opportunity to had sex but not with the girls I wanted so I'm still a virgin.

I live in Milwaukee so 90% of women here are alcoholics or have aids :(

>>39018349
>>39019089
Damn, this strikes a bit close to home for me as well

I only met this one girl relatively recently, but she lives in Europe (and I, in the US). But anyway, she is everything I have ever wanted, and we still maintain contact via facebook. I've always heard of tales of oneitis and love and all that stuff, and always said to myself "loool fags, thats not ever gonna be me there are plenty of fish in the sea." But there's something about this girl that just makes me want to be with her no matter how far apart we are. Never have I felt about a girl like this and I think about her everyday...it's killing me not being able to see her.

Really dont know what to do brehs. Nobody else compares. I want to go over there and just see her again :|

>>39019406
Throw away your virginity, fast. It's just a burden and you'll be glad when it's gone. Don't worry too much about finding the right girl just go for any 5/10 or 6/10

>>39019406

Oneitis was the reason I was a virgin until 21. Sucks mate.

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>>39019406
>talk to the girl, maybe she will be interested, nothing will happen and I will stay in denial until the next girl.
me too
how to fix?

>>39018961
Thank you anon for giving out advice. I'm gonna follow it; I want to get better, and I WILL.

>>39018462
don't be too hard on yourself. you are growing up, becoming a man. finding out who you are and what you want. do some therapy, try new things. maybe you are a different person from what you thought. maybe there are unresolved things in your past

>>39018961
Also. Get some hobby. Go fishing. I play piano since I'm 13 and it helped me very much with my depression

>>39018908
bullshit. there can be good reasons in your childhood and youth to cause it, plus genes. but low test is a cause or makes it worse. and yes eating well, workout, hobbies, education help.
in my case, I have reasons in my upbringing. therapy helped but I tried to get off antidepressants twice. didn't work well

depression is for faggot, a man with a brain is never in depression

Maybe this will reach /fit/ (and it is true): antidepressants are for beta cucks.

>>39020618
I bet you have never experienced depression, anxieties

>>39016986
You just gotta channel that pain into your workout my dudes

her with a new dude is gonna fucking kill me everytime I see them

But she's the reason I'm gonna make it

I'm not doing it to get bitches anymore

I'm proving that I'm a strong independent man who don't need no roastie slut to hold at night

She's the reason we're all gonna make it dudes

I fucking love all you guys

I'm gonna go cry in the shower now

I will be 26 in December and I feel like I have lost so many years to bullshit, feeling depressed and anxious, the wrong people who weren't good for me, struggling with my parents. Also, I never had a relationship. I am not a virgin, but I only had very bad sex. At my age! I feel like such a failure. I try not to give up hope, but it makes me feel like a pussy. Yes, I have been getting better over the years, but it is so slow

>>39020561
its actually been proven that the complete opposite is the case

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>>39018961
> READ IN BED. Not shitting you. Go to sleep thinking about the book you're reading, NOT SHIT YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT.
Every time I try to read fiction the lines start moving, my eyes start to hurt and I end up reading the same line 4 or 5 times.

Does anyone else have this issue?

>>39020426

That's the spirit lad. I'll drink to that