ITT: /momscience/ My mom just told me that whey makes the heart

Yeah, your mom is an idiot. Forcing your heart to grow gives you gains out the ass.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGSs33DQ1F0

Whos are better for that than whey, though.

>>38912113
I thought of Grinch too. kek

>>38912071
Your mom is retarded.
And stupid cunts who have kids.....

>>38912071
I've got some momscience for you.

>You have to eat a fistfull of seeds and berries every day! It's how our ancestors were so healthy!

>Soy will give you gyno!

>Dr. Oz says...

>Get people thinking good thoughts about you to recover from your injuries; good vibrations will make good things happen to you.

You get the idea.

>Pill form supplements are steroids
>Preworkout is ok though
>You need the ball thingy in the shaker or it wont blend properly thats why its there
>Stretching is working out

you to

>>38912185
I've never understood the ball thingy. I know what it's supposed to do but don't know that it actually does it.

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>>38912071
High Reps, Low Weight is what my mom keeps telling me I should be doing lel

>>38912217
>>38912185
I've never used the ball, seems silly working out then not wanting to expend a little effort shaking a cup.

>>38912217
It definitely works better than just shaking it with nothing but it doesn't really matter either way

>>38912225
For aesthetics it works, hello?
Though strength build first so your low weight is kind of high for most people

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>>38912180
Oh, forgot one:

>Anon don't use barbells or freeweights, they're dangerous. Be sure to use the machines as much as possible to prevent injury.

I really don't remember her exact word but one day she implied that calories consumed within a period of time during the day don't count

>>38912242
holy shit When I first started out I told my mum about my 1 plate squat
>You'll hurt your knees!
>Do the leg press machine, it gives a better leg workout anyway!
Let's just say there's a reason why she's been going to the gym for 3 years and hasn't lost any weight.

>>38912071
>eat an apple in the morning if your weight loss stalls
>i don't think your muscles should hurt if you're working out correctly, do you wamt me to take you to the doctor?

If I say I'm coming over for dinner, she makes extra meat for my protons.
Love your mama while she's on this Earth, lads.

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>>38912071
Fucking this. Everybody in mi family think that whey is bad for my health and think it is stupid and for people who use steroids. I just want muh protons. Help me how do I convince them whey is actually good?

>>38912287
You can't.

>>38912261
All our moms probably grew up on the same bro science or something

my mom just told me i'm farting too much and should go to a doctor

it's called protein, mom. jeez

>>38912303
They grew up before the internet was a thing and are conditioned to believe any old bullshit they hear.

>>38912305
faggot

>>38912302
because its not
>>38912287
just eat some cottage cheese you retard

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>you'll get pneumonia if you let sweat dry up on your back

>play basketball so you will grow taller

>>38912377
kys my man

>only criminals lift weights!

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>>38912409
When I was in jail over half the people were dyels. When I got in I was like 135-140, By the time I got bail I was one of the bigger guys on my unit at 190ish

>>38912423
What was your diet like?

>>38912423
How long were you in and also this >>38912460

>always sip water between sets

>wear your basketball shorts

>>38912152
>>>38912071 (OP)
>Your mom is retarded.
>And stupid cunts who have kids.....
But your mom is a stupid cunt who had kids

>>38912460
I'm not sure but I think the food they gave you was about 2000 calories a day. Then I would eat a fucking load of mr noodles, tuna, protein powder, peanut butter. Atleast like 6-8 pieces of bread a day. Basically if you've ever seen kali muscles videos where he puts all the noodles and tuna and shit together. Thats what you thrive off in jail. I'm in canada though so it's a bit different

>>38912467
3 months. Keep in mind there's not a lot to do in jail so I'd work out a lot, sometimes twice a day. Basically eat sleep work out read watch tv and play cards and bullshit with people

>>38912512
Oh yeah pwodered milk too, and rice which you can turn into jail butter chicken. Put powdered milk, water, soya sauce, garlic spice, curry powder, and peanut butter and a fuck load of margarine into a bowl and microwave that shit untill it's creamy then put it on your rice, it's hella good. I was eating atleast 5000 calories a day sometimes up to 7 or 8000. I would never buy chocolate bars or cookies or chips or garbage like that, just actual food if you can call mr noodles actual food. spicy chicken nigga

>>38912512
>you put on over 22kg in 3 months.
>2000kcal/day surplus.
so by "big" you meant "fat."

>>38912562
I didn't have a gut at all man. I'm 6 feet so I was like literally a holocaust victim when I got in from all the drugs.

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>>38912239
Actually doesn't have as much of an effect as you would think. 3x5 will still get you gainz and 3x10 will still get you strong.

>>38912303
Yeah it's all 80s-90s fitness infomercials nonsense
> fat is bad
> nautilus machine circuits
> high rep """""""""toning""""""""" programs

>>38912113
>enlarging your heart is great!!!

are you retarded? an enlarged heart will kill you.

>>38912650
You're a mean one.

>>38912272
>Love your mama while she's on this Earth, lads
This right here is the best advice /fit/ will ever produce

>>38912710
Is it ironic that Jews and Grinch both hate Christmas and are greedy pieces of shit?

inb4 pol

>lifting weights will make you stay short

>>38912716
Yes it is. My mother was an absentee alcoholic for most of my life and I was always mad at her for it. She eventually sobered up and tried to reconnect with me but I was so angry and selfish that it took her almost dying of liver cancer before I finally chose to act like an adult and reconcile. She still annoys me sometimes, but it is only because she cares a little too much some times. Don't let it happen to you, /fit/. Love your mom.

>>38912719
Not really ironic. It's something though.

>>38912730
It will- if you're not done growing and malnourished. Malnutrition will make you shorter in any case but combining it with strenous exercise or work will make you even shorter. If you're getting all your macros and micros then it won't have any effect on height unless you drop a 120kg OHP on your noggin and short circuit your pituitary with a blood clot or something.

My grandma believes all the dumb shit posted on facebook
Aid bananas
Drugs that looks like Pez candy
Satanic shoplifters

"Be careful Anon, i heard a serial butt tickler is on the loose, some guy that will tickle your butt until you laugh"

Its not mom science but she thinks lifting is a gate way to roids

>>38912071
>making gains
>speaking to your mom
pick one

>>38912616
I like this chart but it should be noted it varies on the muscle

Delts would get you the nicest looking range of blues in the 8-12 range or 12-15, while chest and legs its more 1-5 and 5-8

>>38912839
It can fuck up your growth plates mayne

>>38912071
When I visited my parents this summer, I bought a tub of whey and my mom said something to the effect of "you're doing chemicals now?" meaning that it was akin to steroids. I had to explain to her that whey is basically just powdered milk but she remained skeptical and I think she's still half convinced that whey is powdered steroids.

>>38912953
Only if you're very stupid and/or unlucky.

>>38912953
>>38912839
This may be old science (and granted I'm an oldfag) but there were some studies that suggested building large amounts of muscle during pubescent growth would cause muscle tetany to constrict joint space and give skeletal growth plates less ability to expand.

That said, I lifted heavy as fuck from the time I was 14 and I'm 6 foot, so I don't give it too much credit.

>>38912512
>if you've ever seen kali muscles videos where he puts all the noodles and tuna and shit together.
Dammit, I actually have. I've been here too long.

>>38912873
>lifting is a gateway to roids
I mean she isn't completely wrong...

>>38913068
It really depends on the influences and what you want out of exercise, lifting and health. I think it varies from person to person, I'm a narcissistic asshole i just wanna look good and run 3 miles with as little fatigue as possible.

>>38912232
It is so that when you put the whey in first, there would be caverns of it stuck at the bottom where the liquid has absorbed through the first layer but cannot penetrate further. The ball is just to shake it loose from the inside so you don't have to stick a knife (or hand) in there.

It is literally an anti-gains goblin device.

>>38912502
Nah my mom is pretty fucking smart actually

>grow up
>move out and get your own place
>see mom on mother's day

it's that easy kiddo

>>38912716
Nah. If your mom is an abusive thundercunt there is no reason to ever talk to her again.

>>38912650
Better stay away from exercise then

>>38912379
No but you'll get bacne, and that shit's a pain to get rid of.

>>38912973
I did a lot of sports since I was like 7 or 8, and even though I am Spanish, I am by far the tallest in my family, at 6 feet, I do remember my dad not wanting me to lift, but I was still pretty jacked from exercising for wrestling and soccer.

>>38912272
>tfw no mom around to give me ridiculous momscience
Atleast I still have my grandma to do that for me.

>>38913677
This. My father was a short guy, at 5'8, and after playing hockey and lifting since 13 I came out to 6'1. Same for my cousins, one of which played lacrosse, hockey and football and came out 6'4 with his dad being 5'10.

If any one here is worried about growth plates or whatever, literally just do some stretches for 15 or 20 minutes a day.