Funniest thing witnessed in the gym

>>38895926
>Another time some guys came into the gym escorted by police because there was obvious roiders doing havoc in the gym and when they saw the police they escaped on the fire-escape in the middle of winter.. looked pretty funny

Lol wut? Must be Europe?

>>38896475
Yes, Sweden in fact. The classic but infamous 'Friskis & Svettis' ~ 'healthy and sweaty' where old people go and they are notorious about testing everyone who is fairly big for roiding

>>38896556
It's now my mission in life to get big enough to go there and get pulled in for testing. That's how you know you're making it.

>>38896556
Wait, what? They can just require people to take blood tests?

>>38896556
Why do they need to test people for roids?

>>38896744
It's illegal

Sweden is truly cucked

>>38896766
So they just get to test people? Do they also go around testing anyone with red eyes for weed?

>>38896794
Yeah, if you look suspicious.

>>38896822
>European freedom

>>38896822
Holy shit. Sweden just reached a new level of cuck

>>38896556
>testing everyone who is fairly big for roiding
Bullshit. I train at one of their gyms and i've never been asked to prove i'm not roiding.

>>38896908
Yeah they don't test dyels

>>38896908
and what does that tell you about yourself my man

>>38896766

why is it legal for a girl who thinks shes a man to roid in sweden though?

>>38897067
Girls can't do illegal things because doing something illegal is power + oppression

>>38897067
Here we respect the wishes of all god's children and freaks.

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Things like these are posted at every 'friskis & svettis' and it basically says that they actively work together with the police and will take action at anyone suspected of roiding.
Refusal to take a drugtest = automatically positive for roiding.

>>38897115
Allahu Akbar

>>38896955
>>38897025
kek fuckoff
you aint even seen me

>>38897185
Soon my brother, soon

>>38896908
Well that one is on you. I'm 6"2 and swing around 210 lbs and I had to do the damn drugtest. They were the only gym around where I worked for a longer project so I did it. Ladies was mirin when it came back negative...no not really.

Luckily I didn't reveal that I was fully injected with dat dere celltech ATT would've been locked away 4shure

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>>38897156
Why the hell did you let that happen?

>>38897156
that's ridic.
when i think of friskis n swettis the only image that pops up in my head is 68 year old gertrud trying to do a situp.

>>38897210
>implying swedes have any power over their (((government)))
same thing's happening all over the west

>>38897210
Let what happen? That's their rules and it's not exactly up for debate when you sign with them

>>38897156
Isnt that chain like the Planet fitness of sweden though?

>>38897229
Well it isn't far from the truth! Although friskis and svettis is mostly group-activities

>>38897244
I have no relation to planet fitness my friend... although I wouldn't think so because planet fitness sounds cheap and nothing is cheap in sweden

>>38897244
Why the fuck would we know what some american gym is like

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fucking seriously I am dying of keks of googling this shit!

Like pic related is a stamp they give to put on your biceps if you are CLEAN

>>38897348
gonna blow a funny fuse

>>38897298
It's not a gym.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hYpWR8jY1cc

>>38896678
It's likely in the contract you sign.
We have a similar thing in Norway - Basically every gym that's part of a chain (Stamina or Sats come to mind) and more "serious" gyms will have some anti-doping mumbo jumbo in their contracts that's usually along the lines of "either you take this test or walk out of here with your membership revoked". The police is also very lazy here, and prefer to go after easy targets. As such, it's not unheard of for them to raid gyms and bodybuilding contests to find roiders, or hippie music festivals to find regular druggies.

This can be circumvented with a home gym, or just training where the big guys train, as that place likely has a more lax policy about PEDs than "normal" gyms.

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that's it I'm fucking moving to Sweden

What a damn gold mine

>>38897348
Good thing he put that 100% pure bicep there... otherwise he'd likely get suspected for roiding big time! I need one of those damn

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>>38897348
please be real

>it's a "euros take the piss out of gullible americans" episode

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>>38897549
Do they have shit like this in the US?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2nlIfn8tNA

>>38897549
Literally everyone believes Swedes are massive cucks.

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>>38897504
oh it's real alright....

>>38897390
>going to the gym to walk on a treadmill for 20 minutes

What did she mean by this?

OPs 1RM

>>38897653
Stop oppressing her you CIS fuck. She can do anything she wants to do! No judgement zone haha!

>halfsquatting 1.5pl8 with a pussy pad in the smith machine
>I'm 6'4 and there's one guy who's towering over me. he's wearing basketball shorts and weighs 50 lbs less than me. king of lanklets
>manlet flexing in front of the mirror for 30 minutes
>manlet doing pull ups in the smith machine
>manlet needing to jump off a box to reach pull up bar
>girl isolating her glutes using the cable tower.
>push ups on the incline bench

i saw them all yesterday. no joke. it was like christmas seeing memes coming to live. sadly there was nobody curling in the squat rack. in fact, the squat racks were empty while this guy did them in the smith machine.

>>38897587
Why do they call middle eastern men asian? I know this story very well and they are not asian, they are from the middle eastern.

>>38897679
To avoid anything that might make people think of the word "muslim"

Same way in my country terrorists are labelled as "french nationals"

>>38897679
Because technically the Middle East is in Asia.

>>38897425
i mean this guy he gets it... forever immortilized as Pushup-Patrik!

Fucking saved

probably not that funny, but insecure guys get me laughing every time.

i've had a nearly full dressing room full of young men flee for their lives when i've stepped out of the shower naked.
i've seen a man being too afraid to show his body in the dressing room, so he hid behind the gap between the open door and the wall to put on his clothes.
some guys have hid in the empty shower room to change clothes, only to get angry and autistically shout at me when i decide to take a shower.

if you recognize yourself here, fuck off. if you're afraid of the human body, you have no reason to be in a gym.

>>38897679
Which is part of Asia (at least, Pakistan is). It's just a cultural thing.

>>38897830
This, what in the world is wrong with people?
We obviously don't all have supermodel bodies and massive elephant dicks, but it's nothing to freak out about. Saw some schoolboys who were so shy that they took turns showering, and the ones that didn't shower held up their towels to shield the one that did from insight.

>>38897717
>French nationals
Let me guess, as opposed to "ethnic French" when it's a white guy?

>>38897298
Because when you spend your welfare check on a vacation you come to the US to suck off our niggers, stupid eurocuck

>>38897390
>Her gym doesn't have a monthly culling of the dyels.

Why work out

Decline sit-ups in wrist wraps while shadow boxing st the top of each rep

>>38896556
>test weight lifters because maybe there is a tiny possibility that they could be on steroids
>don't check on any of the rapeugees flooding into the country.
Great country you got there.

>>38896908
h-hey anon, I've got some news for you

>>38896556
>>38897391
I fucking hate roiders, but holy shit Europe. Taking the meaning of nanny state to the next level!

So what should my arm workout be using 20 dumbells? I want to gain muscle but I'm new to this shit.

>>38899105
Subtle kek.

>In HS weight training period
>Tubby kid in class doing standing DB skullcrushers
>for whatever reason loses grip and drops a 30lb dumbbell on his skull
>performs a literal skull crush
>teacher calls ambulance and he's brought out on stretcher
>doesn't come back to school for 4 months
>got concussion and some neck injury

There's this guy who ALWAYS brings his laptop into the middle of the gym and starts copying the yoga moves for a video.
Other than that I never really see anything funny in my gym

>>38895926
>assigned temporary duty to base gym
>not enough time left on contract to be useful, not a bad way to end an enlistment
>basically live at gym
>have record board
>honor system
>britbong marines on base for some exercises
>short stocky guy walks up to board
>"oi m8, how many poonds is inna kilo?"
>2.205 man
>"oh, okay"
>writes 600 pounds on the squat record board
>youwotm8.jpeg
>might wanna do your math again there britbruh......
>"naw m8, I dunnit, swear it on me mum I do"
>okay, we gotta see this...
>guy goes back to squat racks
>loads the weight up on the bar
>all the big stacked as fuck american gymn rats are watching
>he begins getting ready for the rep, you can hear the room holding its breath
>guy does 1 rep
>a collective "oooohhhhhh" murmers through the room
>rips loose the nastiest wettest fart I have ever heard
>"aaaand theres the fire works" comes from somewhere in the crowd in a deep southern country accent
>guy just squats 600 pounds but all the americans are only laughing about the anal screamer he cut loose
>britbruh looks horrified
>everyone is good sports though and theres lots of back slapping
>guess the guy was a former champion power lifter

Also, eurobros, why do you guys just like.... hang out in the locker rooms?

Like, americans is "get in, get changed, get out"

Europeans? They will literally stand around the locker room naked for like, 45 minutes teasing eachother and rough housing.

It really wierds out all the other patrons.

>>38897199
Exactly you dyel fuck.

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>>38897199
>damage control

>>38897830
>This much autism

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>>38897199

>context clues

>that skinny asian guy who makes sex moan noises when he tries really hard

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>>38895926
>bald black guy having a phone conversation on his bluetooth
>in the middle of the bench area
>draped over an incline bench
>not using it (not that it was busy, but still)
>conversation was a good 10+ minutes of
>"OK you bastard. Haha, you son of a bitch..." in a smarmy, joking tone
>conversation was inappropriately loud. loud enough to hear and understand everything he said across the weight room
>borderline yelling
Not screen cap worthy, but it was funny exchanging glances with basically the whole gym.

>>38900822
Dang forgot to mention
>chubbyfat

>>38896556
JFC your country deserves to be part of the Caliphate. Eurotrash fucking sicken me

>>38897670
>girl isolating her glutes using the cable tower
a girl with a perfect ass does this at my gym. luckily the cable row gives me a front seat view

>>38899873
thats a lot of dumbells. Id recommend using 2 maximum

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>>38900336
>Europeans? They will literally stand around the locker room naked for like, 45 minutes teasing eachother and rough housing.
>It really wierds out all the other patrons.
it's just cheeky locker-room banter, lad

>>38900822
>Haha, you son of a bitch.
Real life isn't "Predator", anon
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sDQ5epjjSsM

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>>38901501
Holy crap, I almost said he looked like Mac from Predator. Get out of my head!

>>38901545
well, that's fucking bizarre, because that is exactly who I got a mental picture of when I was reading your story.

>>38901560
To be fair, there aren't that many famous bald black guys out there. And my guy wore glasses, but still.