Mirin' stories

Pls respond

good shit, anon.

Ask her in about 5-7 what shes doing and if she's got a membership. If not ask her if she wants to do one of those free gym test, if that gym offers it, and tell her that you could show her everything if she wants to etc.
If she registered just ask her to work out some time lol

>>38515085
next time you get mail, have your dick hanging out. protip: act completely normal otherwise. Just normal chitchat with the dick out. Report back here.

>>38515085
working out with girls sucks dude

next time you see her get her number

>new roommate moved in a couple weeks ago
>brings up gf topic
>shocked that I don't have one
>"so why aren't you trying to get a gf?"
>"how did you know I'm not trying?"
>"because the way you look you'd get a girl instantly"

I gotta stop being such a pussy I guess

>>38515428
This so fucking much, you'll never make it if you workout along a girl

>>38515571

He wants to fuck ur boipucci be careful anon.

>>38515602
Not impossible, although I established my dominance when I crushed him in arm wrestling.

another story
>at a party
>girls there are unsubtly feeling me up
>standing around talking to a friend
>a girl pulls up my shirt out of nowhere while she asks if I have a six pack

I got so flustered I just pushed her hand away and kept talking

File: y.jpg (7KB, 250x216px) Image search: [Google]

7KB, 250x216px

>>38515571
kek. my housemates thought i was gay.

now they just think its because im a cunt.

>mfw im actually just depressed

heheheh

>>38515841
aww isn't it sooo hard with the entire universe against you, you special little snowflake?

>>38515387
Should I be erect or flaccid?

File: cage.gif (1MB, 320x173px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 320x173px

These "mirin" threads are a fucking joke. It's all shit like:
>f-female c-cashier smiled at me :)
>65 year old woman complimented my arms!
>a girl asked me for a lighter haha i didnt have one but it shows she trusted me and was interested maybe giving an indication she liked m-
UNTIL YOU'RE ACTUALLY HAVING SEX, YOUR "MIRES" DON'T MEAN SHIT.

LMFAO at gymcels. These are things that happen to EVERYONE.

I'm 5'9", fat as FUCK, I have a face even a mother couldn't love and as and guess what? Cashiers REGULARLY "smile" at me, I OFTEN get asked for lighters or directions and NONE OF IT MEANS SHIT!!! Fucking LMAO. Face it, attraction is determined by GENETIC factors. If you don't have height, face and frame, you're FUCKED. And yes, girls at clubs will talk to the UGLIEST GUYS ALIVE. Don't think they ACTUALLY like you for a SECOND.

File: 1463293556989.jpg (97KB, 500x666px) Image search: [Google]

97KB, 500x666px

>>38515841
Find happiness in lifting, anon.

>>38515869
Flaccid, what are you? A fucking beta fag?

>>38515085
>Didn't even register to me that I should have invited her to workout
You don't want this mate.

File: 0034 - 2QB5Org.png (776KB, 4500x4334px) Image search: [Google]

776KB, 4500x4334px

>>38515085
>small talk is mirin

File: y not.jpg (24KB, 717x717px) Image search: [Google]

24KB, 717x717px

>>38515922

>>38515782
SAVAGE

File: 888.gif (447KB, 370x271px) Image search: [Google]

447KB, 370x271px

>get out on the porch
>shirtless
>2 bitches walkin
>one saw me and tell the other to look
>scream to me she want dick
>mfw

>be DYEL with good genetics
>some girl comes up to me in the club and says 'well you're good looking'
>I smile and look bemused
>take a different girl home
>MDMA and nerves = can't get it up

S M H

Was last weekend

>>38515782
>I just pushed her hand away and kept talking
Good! you were being raped.
#rapeculturemustdie

>>38515900
Autism

>work with a qt
>sometimes she place her hands on my back or my legs and rub
>she thinks im straight

>>38515900
You sound upset
>i go to the same grocery store 3 times a week for over 2 years now
> dumped my ex 2 months ago and last week i realised i was over her
>cute girl that works there sometimes checks me out
>shes ringing me up and tells me im getting bigger.
>joke around and tell her she should come to the gym and see the roiders
>she asks me if i have ever trained anyone as im entering my pin for my debit card
>"no but i wouldnt mind starting with you"
>she blushes and smiles
>i bag my stuff as she starts to ring up the next custommer
>later at night i see a new friends request on facebook
>its grocery girl
>add her and next day we start chatting
>been talking every day
>shes coming over this saturday to watch a movie
>most likely to fuck tho.

>>38515904
Mah mane Ross is such an angel

>>38516114
Nice

>>38516002
Dont fuck with molly bruh. Mush/Cid/Hooch are superior

File: disappoint.gif (85KB, 480x600px) Image search: [Google]

85KB, 480x600px

>>38516039
>>38516114

Responding to and not recognizing old old pasta.

>>38516114
>shes coming over this saturday to watch a movie
So you're gonna show her Pumping Iron and describe all the different exercises so she's ready for your first gym session, right?

>>38515428
Tbh working out with a girl was what finally pushed me into really testing myself instead of just stagnating because it was comfortable. When she's hitting close to your max at some things you know you really need to put her in her place and make sure she never gets close again.

>>38516114
>most likely to fuck

Its 100%

You could tell her youre gonna watch Caddyshack and shed be like 'omg thats my fave movie no way!'

File: CHAD is PIZZA.jpg (188KB, 470x475px) Image search: [Google]

188KB, 470x475px

>>38515900

File: serveimage.jpg (10KB, 275x183px) Image search: [Google]

10KB, 275x183px

>>38515085
Had my teacher mirin' my biceps last week.
>be moving notepads and books around on my desk
>rolling right bicep to work the soreness from job out of it while working on algebra equations
>right sleeve rolls up to my shoulder while I'm flexing and paying more attention to my schoolwork
>finish equations and see teacher standing right in front of me, staring and smiling

And /div/ told me she didn't like me, when I asked if she has a buttplug.

>>38515085
as i've gotten leaner (still have a way to go) more girls have been noticing

>today walking home from walgreens, bought watch batteries
>girl sitting in oncoming traffic at a light
>she's got sunglasses on but obviously looking at me; her head is turned to the right looking at me
>i smile at her
>she mouths "hi"
>i return the "hi"
>light turns green and she drives away

>>38515350
This

>>38515085
>posting Amber herd the scank skammimg Johnny and elon
Kill yourself

>>38515862
underrated

>>38515085
Don't have stories, only girls looking at me for some time and that's it
pretty weird, used to have no self-esteem when I was a teen so now I dont know what they want
even had little girls mirin, don't know if I'm some kind of ugly monster but at least I have a gf

>>38516419
kek, I had a english teacher that called me superman and stuff in the 11th grade and liked to talk to me

>tfw in the street almost every time my eye locks with a girls se blushes and smiles
>tfw in the club when dancing theres ALWAYS a girl who subtly gets closer and closer until she sneakingly gets her ass on me and starts grinding
>tfw I don't even care anymore, sex is becoming as boring as masturbating.
It definetly used to feel awesome when I was just starting to get laid, but now I'm not even trying anymore. all girls want out of me is getting rammed and thats it. even though I look good I still have a 2 inch deep personality that's only good for watercooler conversations and I never manage to get an actual romantic spark going. it's like I'm too much of a sperglord to get and maintain a healthy loving relationship.

got a few but this is my favorite

>with friends from another frat
>go to frat party
>we get there
>toga party
>dont have a toga
>we take off our shirts
>instantly center of attention
>dyels jelly
>go to dance floor
>about to leave but girl stops me
>"oh my god I see you after class all the time! You're really attractive"
>dance, make out
>whispers in my ear "I want you to fuck me"
>go to her dorm
>give her the ham log

My mum mires my gains
That's the only motivation I need

File: image.jpg (70KB, 415x392px) Image search: [Google]

70KB, 415x392px

>>38516078
Faggot

>>38517861
>frat
Stopped reading. Fuck you and stacy

File: image.png (103KB, 323x327px) Image search: [Google]

103KB, 323x327px

>>38517861
>thinking a frat would let in geeds to their party
>thinking frats still have toga parties
>thinking frats have a dance floor

Dream on kiddo ;)

File: pepe ok.jpg (76KB, 528x487px) Image search: [Google]

76KB, 528x487px

Last weekend:
>at girl's apartment
>just went swimming, now laying on her bed shirtless watching TV
>gonnafugg.jpg
>her roommate walks in
>kinda awkward, make small talk and then she knows to gtfo
>roommate texts girl right after she walks out "I don't normally like black guys, but he's a daddy"
(both of these girls are white)(sorry /pol/)
>girl tells me (obv) and we have a giggle
>proceed to smash, etc

The real kicker is that the roommate is hotter than my fwb, but oh well.

>>38517363
>caring this much about celebrities
Kys TMZ

>>38519987
>not even black guys like black girls

kek

>at friend's bday party
>drinking, dancing, etc.
>two black girls all up on the bones
>mostly avoiding them as they are dull, average looking, and the cuter one is pretty trashy
>see friend next day
>"anon, you gotta step yo game up, my friends was sayin "damn that niqqa cute" u coulda had dat if u had better game"
>just shrug so she doesn't call me a racist

Unwanted female attention is flattering and all, but it gets to a point where you are so inundated with it that it becomes annoying.

>>38520035

>tfw have a qt gf but love when girls give me attention or try to flirt with me

File: drake shiggy.png (230KB, 640x360px) Image search: [Google]

230KB, 640x360px

>>38520035
>black girls

See >>38520008
Don't feel bad. Not even we want them

>>38520051
>tfw qt gf always tells you how jealous she is of all the looks you get
>lets me know how waitresses, retail workers, etc always give me the stare and smile and completely ignore her
>can see that it turns her on
I mean, that part is nice. I guess I just feel guilty for liking the attention, despite having discussed it with gf and how it's just a reality.

And that I still have part of my brain that is a nerdy little fat kid who just gets flustered when I get attention out of the blue.

>>38520107
are you me

except the get honry part

>find out gf is actually bi
>not the tumblr or whatever girls claim to be bi to be cool shit
>joke around a threesome
>no anon that will never happen(in a cold tone)

heh, I tried

File: 1457889376498.jpg (22KB, 672x434px) Image search: [Google]

22KB, 672x434px

>>38520051
This. I love my current gf but I love even more getting attention from qt3.14s, all the texting and chase

>>38516006
Men can't be raped, silly

>captcha is a stop sign

It's been a long time but I got mired again. I opened the door for an old lady and her daughter. The old lady said I was a very attractive young man. She proceeds to tell me her name and her daughter follows suit. I tell them my name then leave. It felt good to be mired

This happened to me about 3 months ago

>be me
>enjoying sweet noob gains combined with dbol
>new haircut
>visit senpai
>cousin (15) exclaims "pecs" and feels my chest for 10-20 seconds
>asks if I've been working out
>flex arm "you tell me"
>"oh my god"
>holds my arm as we walk along the street with her friend later that day
>touches my abs at dinner
>"solid"

>mfw

File: snek.png (21KB, 155x183px) Image search: [Google]

21KB, 155x183px

>be improv fag
>doing a show
>bit goes too far and my shirt comes off
>continue to do two more scenes shirtless
>finally get a minute to get off stage and put my shirt back on
>lots of girls come up to me after the show
>"you're so funny!"
>"you work out?"
>"how can I join?"

>>38515900
sex doesn't matter anon we all have it all the time
they're called mirin threads for a reason,
I'm not mirin someone if i'm fucking them you fucking
fag
go suck a dick you piece of shit

>In the gym lifting baby weights.
>Older gut tells me how awesome my veins in my arms are looking.
>Another older shredded guy passes me and says small boys are becoming real big men.
>tfw only 175 lbs at 6'1. Did come from 125 lbs, so in comparison I'm huge now.

>>38521377
>6'1"
>125lbs
How the fuck is this even possible? I'm the same height and at 70kg I was desiccated twig even as a dyel. Ten kilos less and I probably would've been dead, let alone fifteen. What's your wrist circumference?

>>38517769
Just find what you like, or revisit what you know you used to like and lose yourself in it.

The other day
>walking out into living room without a shirt.
>plumber says I look sexy
>go outside to get mail without a shirt, mailman said I looked sexy
>go to the supermarket with my mom and janitor says I look sexy.
> I knew that my muscles would come in at 12 =)

>>38515085
Invite her to the gym and then rape her in the parking lot

>>38515900
jesus mate you post this shit everytime. Soon this will be the new cousinposting.

>>38521377
uhh I think youre the gyms new twink

File: autism1.jpg (76KB, 948x960px) Image search: [Google]

76KB, 948x960px

>>38515869
Nonono don't do that

File: 1459306590504.png (202KB, 500x281px) Image search: [Google]

202KB, 500x281px

>>38521201
>sex doesn't matter anon we all have it all the time

>>38516114
>be girl
>work as cashier at grocery store
>fatass comes through who thinks he's buff
>buying chicken breast, oats, vegetables
>still looks like shit
>"your getting bigger" I say, holding back my laughter
>"thanks", he replies, thinking I meant it in a good way
>he makes joke about guys on steroids, his autism shows, he tells me he'd like to work out with me
>he then leaves, hot guy comes through checkout next, buying junk food, I think his name was Chad
>Chad slips me his number, i'm gonna fuck him this saturday
>I add fatass on FB, he accepts
>I plan date with him on saturday, knowing ill cancel last minute to meet hotter guy

>>38515085
>I should have invited her to workout

Bro. Fuck that shit. Females are gains goblins and by "work out" she thinks you'll just "run" on ellipticals for 30 minutes and have a conversation about the fucking universe or whatever.

>be following a strict program
>ever inviting someone to join you and fuck up your workout because they don't know how to do jack shit

yeah no

>>38519891
not even him but

>another frat
>implying hes also affiliated

and you're wrong on all accounts

File: 1330389133464.jpg (205KB, 800x800px) Image search: [Google]

205KB, 800x800px

This 'mire' threads are all shit
>hurr im barely ottermode
>10/10 megan fox look alike compliments me and gets nervous
>fuck yeah alpha as fuck
In reality some uggo girl just looked at you and you sperged, the end

>>38522578
>knowing ill cancel last minute to meet hotter guy

>not implying you have lardass buy you dinner, then jettison him to go suck off chad
7/10 otherwise

anyone at the point where they dont even register if a girl is miring or not
>been lifting for a decent amount of time
>all lifts are intermediate
>6'2, tan, bearded, decent hair and clothes
>get stared at by girls everywhere i go
>little girls as young as 14 try to initiate conversations with me at work and try to flirt with me
>have milf hit on me
>i dont care enough to do anything
>have girls who want to be fuck buddies text me constantly to come over and fuck
>have gay guys hit on me all the time
all i want is to lift and groove to some music

>>38523465

This is me, except without all the mires and no one wants to fuck me.
>tfw only things that feel good any more are lifting and groovin'

>>38515862
When exactly did he say everything is against him?

>lost about 100lbs, and have gained decent amount of muscle
>one girl starts asking if i've been working out
>feeling biceps, shoulders, pecs etc
>respond with "its just the lighting"
>one time asks me point blank to leave the club with her
>i say no
>then wonder why she's cold the next time i see her
>I think she's found someone else

Are there any exercises to get rid of autism?

>>38520148
To be fair is she's actually bi and not "haha yeah I'll do it if it makes people like me haha" then she probably did yourself a favor. It's a good way to get cucked if she and the girl click a little too well.

>>38517769
>tfw i feel your pain

Sex with girls is just harder form of masturbation that wastes more energy

>before gf broke up with me she was always saying how girls in public would sneak glances
>no one ever initiates conversation with me I, always have to start it
>I have a serious case of resting bitch face
>on multiple occasions teachers and new accquantences have asked if I'm angry when I'm just daydreaming
>every friend group I've ever been in has started the joke that I'm a closet serial killer

Why can't I just be a more approachable dude?

>>38521935
I used to swim 4 times a week as well as cycle everywhere and only eat breakfast, lunch and dinner. Its not that difficult when you barely eat and instantly burn all calories with sports.
One downside was that I used to be cold all the time, but that wasn't too bad.

>>38515911

I have a micropenis though. Will that be ok.

>>38524184
>tf

>>38524184

I was in the same boat as you m8, I was deeply insecure for a long time and used the resting bitch face defense mechanism.

Force yourself to smile more.

>>38516212
so you mean take a pipe to her shin?

Got a double header today boys
>drive to gym buddies house straight from work to carpool to gym
>park car and walk through his hiusr into his mancave/garage
>say hi to 13 or so years old girl family member who's staying with him along the way
> start chit chatting about the day as I change into gym clothes so we can leave
>out of corner of my eye catch the teenager mirin from inside the house as I stand there in boxers only
>she blushes and dips behind an interior wall

Later
>chest day
>benching 3 plates for a single
>nail it
>catch high-school age kid mirin
>he sets up in next bench over
>1 pl8
>fails and gets pinned
>run over and spot him
>about to say something encouraging and big brotherly when he literally runs out of the gym and leaves me standing there
>Tfw I don't get to be mexican power lifting Jesus

>>38515900
Caps make you sound like elliot Roger, take it easy senpai.

>be on train
>take seat next to qt
>qt mires me in reflection the entire ride
>both get off at same stop
>fuckit.jpged
>ask her where some mall is with the intention of asking for her number in case i get lost
>she explains where the mall is and lingers
>puss out and dont ask for number
>she gets on the bus
>looks at me through the window with a dissapointed face and waves goodbye

fuck man....

File: 1472017758975.jpg (471KB, 1167x831px) Image search: [Google]

471KB, 1167x831px

>>38524184
Gotta love resting bitch face. People always think I'm angry or annoyed until they start talking to me.

>>38524502
Would you be my Mexican powerlifting Jesús? no homo tho also
G U A D A L A J A R A?

>>38522578
All of this projecting. ?

>>38515900
>>38516039
>>38516114
>>38516339
>>38521201
>>38522349
>>38524551

It's pasta you tards

>>38523545
kek

>>38515841
A N T I D E P R E S S A N T S

>>38516419
I got 'mired by my teacher too when I used to work out in high school, desu it was kinda creepy

>>38522578
weak attempt is weak

>>38520977
did you make a woman of her?

>>38524570
We've been defeated comrades,
we'll get 'em next time

>>38522290
underaged b&

>dog is crying at door
>wake up and walk him
>no shirt on
>girls just got off highschool bus
>they stop dead in their tracks and drop their book bags
>point at me
>both say in unison "MUSCLES"
>go back inside so i dont catch a case

>>38516212
Her squat will always be better thats all they fucking do

>>38523465
>>38523545
This is me without the mires, the appearance, and the music

>>38522578
dat insecurity tho

File: i'm projecting.jpg (29KB, 490x333px) Image search: [Google]

29KB, 490x333px

>>38522578
What a fucking cuck. What kind of a person are you that you can't see someone else happy? Were you raped a lot as a child?

>>38523465
>chad world problems

File: depression_toad_anxiety.jpg (7KB, 231x218px) Image search: [Google]

7KB, 231x218px

>>38520977

>flexes in front of half sister
>"there's something there at least"

Nothing like a dose of inspiration from the family

>>38524611
I'm in california, my dad's side is from jalisco though

File: 1444122326413.jpg (16KB, 300x225px) Image search: [Google]

16KB, 300x225px

>>38515085
Be gone away from home town for 3 months or so.
Come back and everyone says I'm looking solid.
Acquire female attention for the first time in a long time.
Still sperglord it with the female but that's another story.

>mfw females look my way then look away when I see dem mirin'

File: 123d87cdceb2ce161fbd4e9815d0eed51e5c2d3bca0e4156d561955e9024954b.jpg (51KB, 1600x669px) Image search: [Google]

51KB, 1600x669px

>A whore told me I have a big dick
>not sure if serious

>>38515085
she will go to the gym to sign up and see some big black Harambe looking mother fucker and she will be his now.

>>38526654
haven't you heard the phrase "honest as a whore"

>>38515085
Don't take her to the gym, she will just be a gains goblin.
when you should be lifting you will be trying to impress her and you will be distracted.
also no fap will come to an end when she wants the d but you tell her no because muh gains then she will bitch and you will give in and gains goblin has been created.

>>38526669
>haven't you heard the phrase "honest as a whore"
Never heard of it but I guess it's ironic

>>38526683
>never heard of it
Well there you go lad

>>38515085
>invited her to workout
never fall for this trap, OP. nothing good comes from her seeing you work hard. nothing good comes from wasting a day in the gym inevitably helping her with basic shit.

>be advanced nurse practitioner working in ED
>need to give a patient a rectal examination to check for bleeding
>close curtains, introduce myself and explain the examination procedure
>he just nods and smiles
>sumfinsnotriteherem8.webm
>finger is in the patients angus
>he gets an erection and ejaculates whilst quivering
>"oh thank you doctor I haven't came like that in a long time" he says in a gay accent
>frown, say there was no blood and the consultant would be through shortly and GTFO

Legit feel like I was raped, fucking queers I hate them all. But a mires a mire?

File: Screenshot_20160809-083912.png (2MB, 1440x2560px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 1440x2560px

> be masculine faggot
> friends with a group of girls, I often am the only man hanging out with them
> they openly grab, grope and hug me
> I have to cross my arms to stop them from groping my pecs
> they are always saying that they want to date me and are saddened because I'm gay
> they ask me to wear a tank top once in a while, which I sometimes do since it gives me a chance to show off
> sometimes do front squat sets by holding one of them
> squatting lmao 1 chubby girl × 10
> recently one of the girls started strength training, others want to try too
> I'm instructing a group of college girls on how to atg squats
> I'll create glorious booties for my straight friends
> mfw

i used to be fat and no girls would ever talk to me and i was afraid of approaching them

i lost quite a bit of weight and now fat girls approach me and want to sex me

i'm not even close to being /fit/ yet but fuck lifting for girls

>>38516210
Oh do this pls

Why is every second story in mire threads an old pasta?

>>38515900
Oh look whos back the "tryin-to-stick-the-word-gymcel" faggot who caps RANDOM words.
Lets all gather around and laugh at him.

>>38516002
>be dyel but doing bodyweight and good looking
>bring girl to my hotel
>midnight bath
>water is fucking freezing
>vasoconstriction
>FUCK FUCK FUCK what do now
>take her to my room
>preliminaries, bitch is wet
>can't get it up more than a few seconds
>balls have shrinked
>FUCK FUCK FUCK what do
>leave the bed
>slam the door
>come back 15 minutes later after running
>"Anon wtf?? wtf is wrong?? what's going on? did I do something wrong?"
>Finger her
>Wet level: Niagara falls
>Lick her
>Pound her
>Nut her hard

Anyway don't do the same mistakes I did. NEVER FUCKING EVER GO TO FREEZING POOL BECAUSE YOU THINK IT WILL BE SEXY. IT IS NOT. VASOCONSTRICTION IS A BITCH.

Do

File: 1470673614344.jpg (143KB, 723x689px) Image search: [Google]

143KB, 723x689px

>>38519987

>>38516114
That's something I could never do: fucking a stranger that I have to see regularly; I just like being anonymous in those places

>>38519987
>black
>swimming

Fake and gay

>>38526924
das racis

>>38526936
>That's something I could never do: fucking
You should just have stopped there

>>38527329
lazy

File: SeyedAliPepe.jpg (88KB, 1000x1000px) Image search: [Google]

88KB, 1000x1000px

>tfw ugly cashier girl hit on you
>tfw rejected her in front of people

How do i avoid ugly girls flirting/hitting on me? should i just keep an angry face all the time?

>>38526824
god bless you homo anon

>>38515085
Next time you run into her, ask her if she'd like to go with you some time. If she says yes, play it by ear and don't be too spergy. If she says no, leave it be and don't ask again. Desperation is an ugly scent.

>>38525179
>be out of the gym for a few months
>lose my squat gains
>get back in and make some nice progress
>only about a pl8 away from my old max
>finish up and go to another lift
>catch a girl squatting in the corner of my eye
>she's only doing 10 lbs less than me
>mfw a girl is almost at my current max
Nah, fuck progressive overload. I'm doing my old max right away. I will not be outclassed by a girl.

>>38516114
>start talking with someone online
>never even been on a date before
>lol time to fuck
This is what I hate about modern culture. Take things slower. You've got your entire life to worry about sex and you choose to ruin your relationship before it even starts.

File: 1470182320716.webm (3MB, 640x360px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 640x360px

>at laundromat
>Asian cutie keeps looking back at me
>smile back when I catch her
>she just stares
>walks past me ; stares
>say hello
>says "hi hi" in realllly fob accent and stares
Looked like she didn't know English like at all or I would've tried to talk to her a little more

>>38524184
FUG
>work in construction
>go from job to job
>resting bitch face since child because I was fat and insecure
>despite that always made friends
>every time I go to a new job no one talks to me
>weeks go by
>"hey man you're pretty cool. When I met you I thought you were an asshole or something cuz you always look mad."
>"n-no I just look like that..."


Every single tiem
:(

>>38525156
Dog is just trying to help you bro. Dogs are man's best friend and man's best wingman.

>>38527528
just try to ignore them and demoralize them. Works for me.

>>38528055
Mayli...

>>38515085
Just ask her the next time you're there and getting mail again. Wait until just before you leave too, like it was something you almost forgot to ask, but had still thought about at least once before.

>>38523954
5x9mm in the head

>Be at local joint with friends
>two of them are lesbian couple
>see woman across the way eyeing me while we joke and laugh
>give her the ol' smilearoo
>get one back
>I'm in
>recruit lesbians to wingman
>lesbians are great wingmen
>ten minutes later, I'm talking to her at the table and we're having a blast
>forty minutes later we're at her hotel room
>hotel room
>should've clicked then, didn't
>next morning, heading out to work
>ask for number so we can "grab lunch sometime"
>sorry, I'm from (state that's roughly 15hrs away)
>shit me
>gives me a fucking bye kiss and sends me on my way
>I wasan out of town woman's night of fun
>mired hard but...
>tfw no qt gf that was best night ever had and really fun to talk to

>tfw don't even remember her name because she only said it once in a loud restaurant
>think about her still even with other girls

NEVER GO BACK TO A HOTEL ROOM UNLESS IT'S YOURS OR YOU'RE EXPECTING TO BE USED, FIT

>>38515085
A fucking 8/10 came up to me out of the blue and started talking to me at a party and after about 10 minutes I totally accidently blew her off because it didn't even register with me that she might have wanted to bang. I hate myself.

>>38517861
>ham log

fuck that's funny. Gonna be using that now.

>>38515782
This shit happened to me a year ago except I just stood there like an autist and Ike of the girls laughed and said "haha he doesn't even know what to do" fuck my shit up guys.

File: a553b53d8edb4e95888d4682e07c9deb.jpg (21KB, 480x319px) Image search: [Google]

21KB, 480x319px

>business / school mixer
>open bar.
>Everyone is shitfaced
>Finish convo with dude
>Turn around
>Rando Girl grabs inside of my arm
>Hi there
>Bs for a little bit
>Get bored
>Ignore her
>Turn around and get digits
>Leave

Went out to a park with her a couple days later and fucked the shit out of her

When we went to pay the bill at a restaurant after the park she ends a convo with
"I want to touch you"

Fucking diamonds walking out of there

Thanks Tren.

>>38529428
but you can be a fuck boy when she comes back to town.

>>38526824
Gay bro you a bro

>>38529684
How will I know she's back? How could she contact me?

>>38529740
love will find a way bro.

>>38515904
Bob Ross is the best thing to have on in the background when chilling out. The show is awesome. Based Ross.

>>38516141
This guy gets it

I'm not huge and still have a solid 15lbs I'd like to lose, but I think I'm at the point where, clothed, I look pretty good. Usually just some jeans and a simple vneck. I've noticed pretty much anytime I go shopping I get looks from women. There's this older woman at work who stares hard every single time I pass her. I've got a bit of a crush on her. I just feel like my hair looks funny from my helmet and my face is dirty or something. Last relationship fucked me up pretty bad, boys. Five years single now. All the lifting in the world isn't going help this faggots confidence.

>>38529758
I hope so :(

>>38515900
pasta

>>38525156
>walking your dog without a shirt

Pathetic attention whore

>>38524571
I think you mixed resting bitch face with you having assburgers

File: 1472489212481.jpg (407KB, 1108x831px) Image search: [Google]

407KB, 1108x831px

>>38526824
based homo bro

>>38528077
Fucking same minus used to be fat. Just born with the face

File: 1469713201157.gif (1011KB, 500x375px) Image search: [Google]

1011KB, 500x375px

>>38526824

doing god's work anon

bless you and your gay ass

File: 1420777349052.gif (939KB, 180x155px) Image search: [Google]

939KB, 180x155px

>>38526824

Anon, get her number. Get her number, get yourself together and ask her out. It sounds like she wants you, so really she's very likely to say yes. If she doesn't then who bloody cares, because the rewards are so worth the risk. You'll never be happier than when you're walking holding hands with a pretty girl that loves you and time just sort of stands still and waits for you. You forget the fucking gym and just ask her out. You're gonna make it mate, we're all gonna make it

File: 1438907397132.jpg (28KB, 750x715px) Image search: [Google]

28KB, 750x715px

>be today
>walking down street to class
>black guy in passing says
>"damn, nice muscles, man"
>what was that?
>"I said nice muscles, you go to the gym?"
>o-oh yeah haha t-thanks
>mfw

>>38515085
>in class today
>get a nice chest and shoulder pump from ppl i the morning
>wear white t shirt
>while taking notes notice qt is looking at my chest
>catch her staring and she smiles and looks away
>notice this throughout class
>leave class only saying bye bc im autist
>later she msgs me about class homework

wat do

>>38516523
I saw Ferris Bueller's Day Off too mate.

>>38531250
>"You didn't get the homework in class?
>"Was something distracting you? ;)"

Don't actually give her the homework. When she asks again tell her she'll have to come over if she wants it.

>>38531250
>>38531311
Post proof

>>38526824
doing gods work

long live the homo /fit/

>>38515350
5-7 days? why wait that long? why not just find an excuse to stop by the mailroom and say, "about the gym mermbership, I think you can get a free pass." "oh, lol, hurr durr, im a grill, lol, that's cool" "yeah, why go sometime over the weekend?"

>>38526924
>>38527142
How upset are you two manchildren?

>>38516523
i don't think i'd be able to tell if someone was mouthing 'hi'

it would look weird

>>38520008
>tfw white brit
>biggest goal in life is a qtpi black gf

Gonna have to unironically pay for an album on bandcamp

been waiting months for it to hit the 'seel, but no luck.

>>38527905
HORRIBLE FEEL

>>38524570
Damn mate, i feel for you.

>>38526822
underrated

>>38529666
>>Turn around and get digits
> 666
noice

>>38529428
but why not turn it around and use her?

what motherfucker thinks he's going to find his gf at a bar?

File: eqNe04t.jpg (394KB, 2540x1440px) Image search: [Google]

394KB, 2540x1440px

>>38532651
Doom m8

>>38522578
This is a fucking shamble. Kill yourself my man

>>38526924
Fuck off back to /b/ kid

>>38521072
Good to see another improv fit fag

File: justice-147214_960_720.png (41KB, 833x720px) Image search: [Google]

41KB, 833x720px

I feel depressed.
So I saw an old friend I hadn't seen in almost a year today.
She was a 8/10, 28 year old latina chick.
I used to be a 6/10 white scrawny nerd.

Spent the last year cutting weight and gaining muscles. Now I'm a 8/10. So it's time to ask her out, right?

I saw her today and she had gotten fat. Now she's a 6/10 (still has a pretty face).
I spent the last year working out for her.
The first thing she said when she saw me was "Dang, you look good."
I couldn't return the compliment.
:(

>>38519891
what junk house are you in, tke? this was pathetic.

shoutout to my phi psi bros

>>38523465
are you me?

>>38524611
>>38526597

ARRIBA LAS
CHIVAS
H
I
V
A
S

>>38532818
fuck her anyway

>>38515900

Checked and kek'd.

Captcha: PROVENCHER Mardego

File: image.jpg (439KB, 800x1158px) Image search: [Google]

439KB, 800x1158px

My new buttslave from Craigslist said I was he best rimmer he's ever had


I'm not even gay I just like the power

>>38529428
>the ol' smilearoo
kekked so hard for some reason

>>38527952

This.
Watch the movie, see what happens, but make sure you're gauging her willingness.
Rape accusations come out pretty quick these days, even if the qt3.14 in question seems SUPER into you.

>>38532212

British black girls > American black girls
Brits don't have names like Kiresha [Ky-REE-sha] (actually saw that name on Maury once)

>>38533084
She also got a boyfriend in the mean time. So that was fun.
She's been single for like years (honestly I thought she was a lesbo for a long time) but as soon as I start taking care of myself she gets a boyfriend and stops taking care of herself.
Typical.

>>38533121
you licked the man's butthole

I think you're the buttslave here

>>38515085
Go back in there and invite her to workout. Then try to roll that shit into a post workout half assed dinner date. Then get them digits and the keys to the butt palace. You can do this anon!

File: nae nae pepe.jpg (46KB, 497x750px) Image search: [Google]

46KB, 497x750px

>>38519891
>his frat doesn't have a dance floor
Teek detected

>>38515085
Does your membership level allow guests? If so, I shouldn't have to explain anything else, just don't fuck up.

File: 1325912350730.jpg (6KB, 251x251px) Image search: [Google]

6KB, 251x251px

>mfw lifting for a year and haven't received a mire before
I must be ugly

File: 3250cb6ffaccc36366b1590bf45eb60b349e7410_full.jpg (8KB, 184x184px) Image search: [Google]

8KB, 184x184px

>>38527905
>mfw the first time i saw a girl squatting more than me

>>38519987
>Black
>Daddy

Choose one

>>38515782
ALPHA

>>38515904
What if Ross lifted

>>38523954
Where did you put all the loose skin

Have I got a story for you boys

>Taking my rest between sets, looking around
>See QT 3.14 thicc as fuck, kind of short but dat ass and dem titties
>She looks at me and smiles, I smile back
>Kind of a dumb looking face, but whatever
>Go back to my workout


>Later when I finish, I walk past her and make plans to small chat her since she was just literally standing in the middle of the gym

>As I approach, I start getting confused
>Notice she's wearing jeggins and shoes that don't look like gym shoes, just not typical clothes a chick would wear to the gym
>Something....is odd
>Suddenly, older woman comes out of nowhere and grabs her arm and guides her out. It's apparent she just finished working out.
>As they walk past me, I see a close up of QT 3.14's face
>Realize she's mentally disabled
>360 out of there


Autism kills

>>38529666
>witnessed