redpill me on bullet-proof coffee, /fit/.

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THIS IS YOUR DAILY REMINDER TO PLUG IN YOUR BLENDERS, HEAT UP YOUR FLOTATION TANKS TO SKIN TEMP (35.5*C)

THE WEED HAS BEEN LIT AND IT'S TIME TO SLAM YOUR KALE SHAKES, TAKE A TOKE & MARK OFF YOUR CHECKLIST

TO POP YOUR:
ALPHA BRAIN
SHROOMTECH
KRILL & MCT OIL
PRIMATE CARE PILLS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22GjkJw0WXk <---- HIT PLAY NIGGA

>YOUR FEAR FACTOR THEME SONG ALARM BLASTS THROUGH YOUR HOUSE

>YOU INSTINCTIVELY JUMP INTO YOUR HOMEMADE OCTAGON, FITTED WITH BATTLE-ROPES AND A "WRECKING BALL" STYLE CHIMP KETTLEBELL ACTION COURSE

>AFTER YOUR INTENSE WORKOUT YOU CALL OVER BRIAN REDBAN USING TING BEFORE GETTING INTO YOUR ISOLATION SENSORY DEPRIVATION FLOTATION TANK AND PACKING YOUR MOUTH TO THE BRIM WITH POT BROWNIES FOLLOWED SHORTLY AFTERWARDS BY COCONUT WATER ENEMAS JUST AS THE DMT KICKS IN AS YOU LISTEN TO DUNCAN TRUSSEL AND GRAHAM HANCOCK HYPOTHESIZE THAT THE PYRAMIDS = ALIENS AND THE ARK OF THE COVENANT IS HIDDEN IN UGANDA

DUDE BOOOOM LMAO

DUDE KETTLEBELLS LITERALLY ENCRUSTED WITH WEED AND DUNKED IN MCT OIL AND THROWN OFF BUILDINGS FEAR FACTOR STYLE

>"BRENDAN SCHAUB JUST END IT ALL, I THINK YOU ARE A WORTHLESS FIGHTER AND I HATE YOU, BUT COME BACK ON THE PODCAST SO I CAN BLOW YOU THE FUCK OUT OF THE WATER AGAIN AND REDUCE YOU TO TEARS"

>"BRENDAN "FRASER" "FUCK MY SHIT UP" SCHAUB, JUST TAKE THE EASY WAY OUT. YOUR CAREER IS OVER. IT'S TIME FOR THE SMITH AND WESSON RETIREMENT PLAN"

Joe Rogan, 2015

>YOU ARE NOW PICTURING JOE ROGAN NAKED IN A FLOTATION TANK WITH A MOUTH FULL OF POT BROWNIES TRIPPING

Brought to you by SquareSpace©

cue the hempforce mustard

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>>38443451
>at trump rally
>wild assassin appears
>luckily I have my cold brewed bullet proof coffee with me
>hurl coffee in way of bullet
>tfw made america great again

>>38443451

looks pretty faggy. I've been drinking trader joe's new mexico pinon coffee lately, it's pretty tasty.

>>38443451
Nothing is more annoying than a stupid person who thinks he's smart.

>intermitten fasting
>blend organization undated butter into coffee
>fats in the bulletproof coffee make the caffeine absorption more efficient within the body
>fats provide energy boost and compliment metabolic boost from caffeine
>even if it's placebo you won't feel hungry until 1-2pm
>butter = $m00th shits m8

sounds like some hipster shit good goys would buy

Bulletproof coffee is made using 3 ingredients, the "bulletproof" coffee beans (free of micotocins), grass fed unsalted butter and the oil, usually mct (medium chain Triglycerides) or a high mct oil coconut oil.

I drink it every day, it's great for keto and cutting fat

Any specific questions ask me, after you Google of course I'm not the /fit-ionary

>>38443500
what did he mean by this

>>38443500
Hey man come on, Joe is one of the reasons I started getting into fitness. Dude's one of the few real ones out there.

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>>38443792
Joe Rogan's standup is one of the least funny things I've ever seen. Literally Amy Jewmer tier unfunny.

Gee Joe maybe after you've blown out your knees 12 times it's not a good idea to try kicking sweaty dudes when you "roll" with them.

BP coffee? OP, would you like some crossfit with that coffee as well?

>>38443928
His podcast is pretty good, but yeah his stand-up is pretty shit

Then again who gives a fuck? We're talking about fitness not comedy

>>38443968
don't forget to activate those almonds

>>38443685
>the "bulletproof" coffee beans (free of micotocins),
>micotoxins
Just move to an airproof bubble if you're this fragile.
Or stop drinking coffee that was stored in an moldy basement for 5 years.

>>38443708

Why does the cows being happy make their fat healthier to eat?

It's fine, just use coconut oil, kerrygold butter, and whatever coffee you like instead of paying for that commercialized garbage.

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>>38443451
fucking autistic. Go to your local actual good coffee shop that sells coffee beans and grind those motherfuckers then make your cup of black ass coffee for that good caffeine. Don't do this if you are dyel or have trouble bulking because cafine supresses your apitite.
>Hurr Im a hippie and I eat healthy and local but I'm going to order some shit off the internet that slaves cultivated for me
That shit pisses me off to no end. Just like all the people who go to chain stores which are "organic" and "local" when there is literally a co-op grocery store within walking distance.

>>38444039

The guy who made this meme happens to sell these magical coffee beans on his website too.

>>38444048
The cow being happy means it is under no stress, when a cow is stresses it's muscles contract, which makes the meat less tender, I'm guessing its the same with the milk, being under stress the milk "sacks" might turn or rise in temperature which could cause a sourness or a fat separation, a strait fight or flight adrenaline boost

>>38444129

And this stress response is what makes the saturated fats in the butter of unhappy cows unhealthy?

>>38444039
To be honest I don't believe the whole micotoxin shit with the coffee, regular strain coffee, French press, whatever is fine, no need to buy fancy expensive bagged coffee, most people use trader Joe's, some use even instant coffee cause the coffee is not important

>>38443500

Saving for future shitposting 10/10

>>38444048
The fat is filled with happiness particles that in turn make you happy when you eat it

>>38444145
that unhealthy part may or may not be true, (If you are stressed your gains are worse) but why not just be nice to the cows? They can experience pain too.

>>38444048
stress hormones fuck their shit up

>>38444145
saturated fats have always been 'unhealthy' , but seeing as people on keto or a BP dirt use low carbs is is their main energy supply I can see why they would exploit the buyers with this "happy cow" shit.

I'm sure there's a biological or scientific reason somewhere, either that or media manipulation.

>>38444232
Its the same with that "laughing cow" brand, you don't think of caged cows stuck to machines for hours on end, there's no such thing as 'free range' cow,

>>38444145
The main difference between a grass fed cow and a grain fed cow is the amount of omega-3 in their fats. Grain fed has practically no omega-3 while it has big amounts of long-chain omega-6 (arachidonic acid), extremely pro-inflammatory, on the other hand grass fed is low in omega-6 and high in omega-3, this is the biggest reason I would buy grass fed cow meat/butter (I don't because I can't find them here anyway).

>>38444278
Also, being more humane to cows and farm animals is always an OK on my book. Although I understand that this way of farming can't fed the whole planet.

>>38444278

>grass fed butter is high in omega-3

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/7905466

Half a liter of grass-fed milk has 14mg of EPA. Eating grass-fed dairy/beef for omega-3 is like eating pink himalayan salt for the trace minerals it's said to have

>>38443708
That's a fucking scam and the people who fall for it are suckers.

>>38444322
You are talking about milk, I was talking about butter which would increase that percentage by a lot. Also, less omega-6.

Still, better than nothing.

>>38444579

> I was talking about butter which would increase that percentage by a lot

No it wouldn't.

>Still, better than nothing.

It actually isn't because you could eat no butter instead and not take in all that saturated fat in the attempt to get a trace amount of long-chain omega-3.

>>38443685
you know Joe himself has already talked about how the bulletproof coffee beans is bullshit right.

Like the mct oil and butter is great, but really you can just use any coffee. The tiny amount of micotoxins in coffee has no effect on you. That's why he doesn't do business with that dude anymore.

>>38443451
Bullets will go through it like coffee goes through me.
Easily

>>38444609
>No it wouldn't.

Milk contains a very small fat percentage while butter is practically all fat, of course it would increase.


>and not take in all that saturated fat
>implying

>>38443451
wtf do you want to be redpilled on.

it's extra calories and fat.

fucking wow

IIFYM

just look into nootropics you fucking retards
you can buy enough caffeine and l-theanine to use every single day for 6 months for only around 15 USD

Meme from like 2 years ago

If you enjoy the taste and IIFYM, go for it. But it's nothing special

>>38444048
Imagine I needed your cum. For whatever reason. Imagine I needed 8 gallons a day just from you. Now, I could strap you up to a painful milking machines that churn your nuts day in day out and a buzzing foot long prostate electrode forcing you to pump out nut after nut of low quality sperm. After a few minutes, you're aching, sore and reeling from your ejaculation and instead of allowing you to slip into your refractory period my machines just keep pumping. And you're strapped in next to a couple hundred other poor souls, each of them screaming in pain. You're force fed grains and sugars, which turn you into a fat disgusting blob so overweight that if you were ever removed from my machines you'd snap your knees and your spine like they were twigs. You scream for hours, days, weeks, months even until eventually the stress causes a heart attack and you're yanked from your machine and ground up into dog food and glue because nothing from your deseased, diabities and e-coli ridden corpse can even be passed as mince meat for human consumption.

Or, say you spend your days out in the field, loving nature and grass and trees and shit. Busty milkmaids come to jerk you off into a milk bucket. And since you're a dairy cum cow, your meat is completely unsatisfactory for the meat industry and it isn't worth slaughtering you, so you spend your entire life being milked, your cum turning into rich buttery cream for /fit/izens to enjoy smearing all over their face and chugging down with their morning oats.

Of these two choices, do you prefer the ShindoL route or would you rather have a happy ending?

>>38444807

>milk contains a very small fat percentage

There's a huge volume difference between milk and butter. A pint of whole milk has 16g fat. A tablespoon of butter is 11g fat. A tablespoon of grass-fed butter would have less omega-3 than that pint of whole milk. Let's get crazy and say you eat a whole stick of butter. This would be 92g of fat, 82mg of which would be from EPA, and that would also come with 58g of saturated fat and 810 calories.

It's fucking nothing.

>>38445080

So more enjoyable orgasms make more nutritious sperm? I don't get it

>>38445080

>And since you're a dairy cum cow, your meat is completely unsatisfactory for the meat industry and it isn't worth slaughtering

But they do get slaughtered. It's not worth NOT slaughtering them.

>>38445080
a literal god

>>38444807
Saturated fat is bad for you. Unsaturated fat is worthless in the context of a high saturated fat:unsaturated fat ratio.

>>38443520
>calls something faggy
>shops at trader joe's

Pot meet kettle

>>38443500
It's that you milkman?

>>38445080
Criminally underrated kek.

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>>38445080

>the ShindoL route

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>>38445080
beautiful 10/10

i feel like supporting PETA now

>>38444039
There was a bulk stud of pathogens on big name brand coffee beans and none of them contain mycotoxins, Asprey lied to everyone to sell his product, Coffee producers have known for decades on how to remove the mycotoxins from their coffee.
As for the bitterness, that;s due to tannins, compounds in the coffee that compart colour and that bitter taste, that can be avoided by getting a lighter roast or steeping the coffee for less.

Bp coffe is meme tier bullshit with a fuckton of great marketing, the dude is whipping out some next level shit i'll give him that.

He claims micotoxins in coffee are bad for you...pfft no shit nigga, the coffee industry has known this since like the 70s, thats why they developed ways to eliminate these during processing.

His enhanced beans are bullshit, he claims theres this super secret process behind it...but can give literally no hints to how it works.

Hes lying and selling normal beans at a huge markup.

Next, the MCT, this shits legit, its been used to give people whos digestive tract is fucked up energy (fats) for years now, its pretty popular for people with aids to use it. we know the body processes this this differently to longer chain triglycerides, its effect on cognitive function is speculative at best.

And heres the same thing as his "enhanced beans"...you can get this shit in double the quantity for half the price elsewhere, its been on the market for ages. Again, the dude is selling the same shit as everyone else but at a huge markup

He cant actually support any of the claims he makes on the website, the studies he sites are iffy at best and theres plenty out there proving the opposite of what he says. Hes got a bad case of confirmation bias going and thats bad science, its worse than bro science...its worse than mom science.

Its all marketing, if your going to try it just get some good quality beans or whatever coffee you want, get the MCT, get some butter and give it a shot but for fucks sake dont give this guy your fucking money...or do...if your stupid enough to fall for this shit you kind of deserve to be ripped off.

>>38443451
Sounded promising at first. Listened to the bulletproof podcast for a few weeks. The podcast was so full of complete bullshit that I can't believe anything that comes from that company. If you start unironically telling me that coffee is full of mycotoxins that are robbing people of their chi energy, but that your coffee is unique and special because you source your ingredients to a small village in South America... I have to start questioning your motives AND your sanity.

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>>38443451
I remember listening to a food podcast that mentioned it, some story about a rich guy who went to peru, saw the locals having goats butter with their coffee and decided to market.

Ive had butter with coffee before, tastes good. The podcast said that somehow it makes the coffee more effective, but i just thouht it tasted good.

>>38443451
Stop shilling this shit. There have been threads about butter in coffee for the past two weeks

>>38443451
like the biochemistry behind it is legit, but the guy running it is a Jew. Just get some MCT oil off Amazon, or coconut oil from Costco if you're a poorfag

>>38444278
100g of regular ass beef has less Omega-6 than four peanuts. Just pop a fish oil pill?

>>38443451
That guy is literally retarded I almost smashed my computer when I tried listening to his podcast. Jesus Christ what a fucking snake.

>>38443708
Why are Europe and Africa joined? Where's the Mediterranean Sea?

Fun fact.
Your money back if it isn't bullet proof

So basically, you just put coffee, butter and ghee in a cup and then blend it all together? Who the fuck does that, it feels to me like it'd taste nauseating.

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>mfw bulletproof because bullets cant kill you if you're already dead due to clogged arteries.

>>38447911
we all know it's snake oil. But you have to let go of that fat-is-bad-for-you-meme.

>>38445080
wtf im vegan now

>>38443451
putting motherfuking BUTTER into a cup of freshly brwed clear black coffee goodness seems like a crime against humanity to me.

how on earth can people do this? its like putting ketchup over chocolate

>>38443708
>While America has no restrictions

LONG LIVE FREEDOM

EUROSLAVES BTFO

>>38445454
>saturated fat is bad for you

Oh boy, we living in the 60s again?

>>38445080
>happy ending

God damn I love double entendres.

>>38448975
because you're a sad cunt who doesn't know any better.

>>38447511
It's the form of Omega-6.

Omega-6 from peanuts = short-chain

Omega-6 from grain fed beef = long-chain (arachidonic acid mainly)

You can convert short-chained omega fats into long-chain in your body, but the conversion ratio is small so in the end it has more inflamatory impact that "small" omega-6 long-chain amount in some foods that a bigger amount of short-chain on peanuts and other foods.

>>38449035

What year do you come from where saturated fats aren't globally recognized as unhealthy?

>>38443500
Please be miilkfart

>>38443451
It's coffee with butter

>>38448024

Some types of fat ARE bad for you. The fats in butter are bad.

>>38451831
No. They aren't. Maybe bad IN EXCESS but so is everything

>>38451853

Saturated fats have no defined tolerable upper limit. As far as you can call anything in food "bad," saturated fats are bad for you. Don't argue like a fatty.

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>>38443500
Man I love Joe Rogan but I fully acknowledge the guy's a chowderbrain. Entertainment only.

>>38451908
I know for a FACT that you are some scrawny little phaggot.

lol if you don't eat butter

>>38452072

Just say "you know what, I was wrong. I apologize to you and everyone else in this thread, and I will take my leave"

>>38443451
I drink cafe la llave

>>38443708
I fucking hate this kind of vocabulary, it's exactly the things you hear from juice-dieters and other scam artists.

>toxins
I'M PRESSING VERY HARD ON THE KEYS I AM SO TRIGGERED

>18x """STRONGER""" than coconut oil
OH YEAH?! STRONGER HOW YOU FUCKING IMBECILE

Wew lad, was that a trip. I hope the ones who buy this enjoy their coffee, 'cause it sure won't do any more than regular fucking coffee.

Just drink black coffee you fucking meme

>>38452465
But it tastes like shit.

>>38443451
Keto-meme bullshit that raises your bad cholesterol. Consuming any fats early in the day is fucking retarded.

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>>38443685
>doing keto
>not being a gigantic faggot who is oblivious to impending heart disease

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>>38445080
include me in the screencap to le reddit