FPS; I never used to believe

>>38050597

>seriously this guy is skelly's height but could crush me between his pecs
>long black hair
>how is this guy so stealthy!?
>apologise to the viking
>'not a problem', he says and goes to fatty
>suggests in real polite language that fatty change her form to prevent rotator cuff injury and get more benefit from her lifts
>fatty pants and wheezes and drops other kettle bell
>questions what 'authority' the viking has to say this
>viking apologises (!) and says he is a fysiotherapist specialising in severe sport injury and rehabilitation and she will hurt herself severely like that
>not good enough for fatty who demands whether he works at the gym
>he does not
>fatty tells him his advice is not valid and she has a routine given to her
>realise I'm staring and start putting some weights on the bar to look busy
>skelly seems to realise the same thing and continues with ball
>viking asks whether fatty has had a weight room gym induction
>fatty says it's none of his business
>viking says that it is, as she is endangering herself and other members by swinging those weights around, also it's gym policy
>fatty gets upset, starts saying she will report him for bothering her
>viking apologises again, but suggests she does talk to gym staff so they can help her

>>38050615

>trying to count reps, unaware of what is about to go down
>fatty suddenly starts crying and makes to storm out
>trips over the kettle she dropped earlier
>falls flat on her face, rocks back and forth on her balloon stomach, then lies still
>nobody moves, including fatty
>oh shit
>all three of us go over to see if she's ok
>still breathing but passed out
>oh shit
>viking tells us to stay here while he gets help
>skelly and I say nothing to each other
>viking returns quickly (and silently) with staff first aid kit
>fatty is moaning and coming to, skelly and I hang back while they check her over
>'what happened?' asks the manager
>'he pushed me' fatty says, pointing at the viking
>wut
>skelly steps forward and say she's lying
>fatty starts crying and saying it's true
>points to us and says we were laughing

>>38050597
Fat girl where I work and you have to actually think about how to maneuver past her some times she has that much meat. Almost comical if it wasn't so sad

>>38050633

>skelly goes red in the face
>I've gone full autism by now and have no expression or use of my vocal cords
>viking looks real calm
>suggests they check the security footage to confirm he did not touch her
>fatty is still crying and tries to get up
>her clothing is all dark at the bottom and there is a pool on the mat
>we all realise she's pissed on the mat
>nope, nope, nope
>every FPS I ever read on /fit/ just comes flooding to my mind
>nooooope
>I back off until my back hits a wall (no viking this time)
>manager asks fatty to please come with him immediately, asks viking to follow
>but viking comes up to me
>asks if I'm alright
>I nod because I have lost the power of speech
>viking frowns
>I give him a thumbs up and what I hope passes for a grin but is probably just a baring of teeth
>viking frowns more but checks on skelly who says he's fine

>>38050667

>desperately want to leave but will be fucked if a fucking fatty ruins my workout by pissing on a mat
>do routine in faraway corner next to skelly
>you never seen such efficiency
>skelly is staring at me, at the mat
>realise skelly is probably just as autistic as me
>people come in to clean piss but the smell lingers
>viking returns after 20 minutes and starts working out too
>after while viking asks if he if can ask me a question
>sure
>asks whether I have suffered a back injury in the past
>tell him I have, broke TH9 and TH10, rehab took forever, still on specific exercise regime etc.
>we chat and he spots me, gives me good pointers
>afterwards gives me his number for a free check-up and maybe new work-out schedule for me
>thank him and head to the showers
>I made it. I survived
>but no!

>>38050714

>skelly jogs after me, starts talking rapidly, saying he is not a creep and I probably thought he was a creep for staring but he was definitely not a creep, but he just thought I looked nice and didn't mean to stare, but you can't look without staring haha.
>okay mate
>slowly edging towards showers
>skelly asks if I work out here often
>duck into showers, spot friend
>'had a nice workout? I love this gym'
>MFW EVERYTHING /FIT/ TOLD ME ABOUT GYMS WAS TRUE

Phew, to be fair I was not really a player in this, I just saw it happen. According to my friend this gym sees drama like that all the time. who the fuck pisses on the floor in a gym?!

Viking turns out to be legit specialist working in a local clinic here.

>Marry viking
>Adopt skelly as child
>Make fatty family dog
>????
>Profit

>>38050649
Wow. I just never experienced anything like it. Guess I must have been lucky so far.

Sounded more a story about 2 guys hitting on you than a story about a fat chick.

Seriously you could have probably made it half the length if you skipped those parts, no one cares.

>>38050820
This, desu.

Still a good story though.

>>38050820

Sounds more like a perfect metaphor for life to me.

>some people have their life together and do useful things
>some people are sub-human mat-wetting trash
>the rest watch the above in autistic terror and will maybe one day accidently breed

WHAT THE FUCK THAT'S TOO LONG TO READ

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>>38050945

It's no longer than The Tale of Andrew, or Disneybounding.

>>38050945

goddammit fatty you have to complain about EVERYTHING don't you

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>>38050597
>>38050615
>>38050633
>>38050667
>>38050714
>>38050751
Thought I'll never have a chance to post that.

After reading countless gym stories on 4chan I am starting to think my gym is abnormal. Nothing ever happens. Maybe because it consists almost entirely out of students (almost no chads & stacys).

>>38050597
btw I'm a girl

>>38051476
oh nice the filter doesn't exist anymore.
Well I guess it's normal after 3 years actually

>>38050766
Lol

>>38050597
it's good as far as stories go
but seriously you could have just said

>at public gym as a +1 because hollidays at a friend's
>doing muh lifts
>fatasfatass walks in, coming straight out of tumblr with her scarlet hair, hanging belly an triple chins
>she grabs 2 4kilos kettles and proceeds to swing them like her job is to model for a Sir comic
>even taking them from the weight rack made her grunt
>soon one of the obviously too heavy for her kettles slips out of her butter coated sausage-fingers

yada yada add 4-5 more lines about the viking medicine man telling her to be careful and her freaking out
then your story is over

no one cares about any extra info

>>38050945
>>38051099
>>38051666
didn't know /fit/ has ADHD

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>>38051821
I read it all though.
my critics are legit >>38051666

fuck off you mong

>>38050766
got more kek out of this than the story. thanks

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>>38050888
Holy fuck

That IS LIFE

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I can't make this stuff up.

>at the gym
>a fatty fat girl walked in with a tank top that said HATE RUNNING.
>Alright, she may not like cardio, I get it, so maybe she lifts?
>She spent about 30 seconds on a few machines and left.

Shirt should have said HATE EXERCISE

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>>38050766

>>38052901

That image... Certified highly tested...

>>38051348
It's selection bias, you're not going to hear about most gyms where nothing happens, because no one has a reason to post those. Most people aren't so poorly adjusted that they make a spectacle of themselves like in FPSs

>>38050888
Someone screencap this shit!!

>>38051666
Talking about all this useless shit just proves she's a grill.

My friend once was talking a story about her boss firing her, by stoping answering her phones. It took her 45min.

>>38050766
incredible keks

>>38050766
Top Fucking Kek

>>38055019
Note the usage of the word "humans" as the other

>in changing rooms
>four tittied and four speckled asian who just stank of pickle juice walked up to me
>asks me where the sauna is
>i say it's been out of commission for 5 months
>fatty starts having a hissy fit
>fatty starts huffing and puffing
>"what? no sauna? then why the fuck would i come here? that's it, i'm going to bannatynes"

do people really only go to gyms to go to a sauna? you don't need to lift weights but there is no fucking goal with a sauna

tbf i hope he's happy at bannatynes cos that health club looks like heaven

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>>38050888
10/10

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>>38054746

Enjoy.

>>38051666
I enjoyed the detail, it's not like I'm on 4chan to not waste my time.

>>38050649
Kek my boss was interviewing a lardass at the kfc where i work and she was so fat that she got stuck in the booth seat and fell on her face when she finally managed to pry herself loose.

>>38050597
>enter a real life hambeast
>I mean bright red hair, a belly that hangs like an apron and three chins
>grabs two 4kg kettle bells
>starts swinging them around like it was a Sir comic

2017's new year comic having this, please.

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>>38050766

>hamplanet said 365 diddly would hurt my back as it took her 15mins to do a mile.
Fug you whale