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Anonymous
Ignorant shit about /fit/ related activities that makes you laugh 2016-07-12 04:05:24 Post No. 37892224
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Ignorant shit about /fit/ related activities that makes you laugh 2016-07-12 04:05:24 Post No. 37892224
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Ignorant shit about /fit/ related activities that makes you laugh
Anonymous
2016-07-12 04:05:24
Post No. 37892224
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Enough rage /fit/, let's hear the funny/goofy stuff.
>Wannabe PT coworker talking about deadlifts while the rest of us try and fail to tune him out
>"They really are the best leg exercise to balance out squats"
>Other coworker who lifts chimes in; "What about your back? Deadlifts are great for your back"
>Wannabe loses his shit
>"No way dude, if you're engaging anything but your glutes and hammies you're doing deadlifts wrong"
>We're all listening now
>"Really wannabe? What about after you get three or four plates on the bar?"
>"Nope. That weight is incredibly dangerous anyways. The only people doing that much are gear heads."
>Wannabe pt coworker comes up another day
>"Anon, you lift, what's your routine like?"
> He's going to try and foist some bullshit men's health garbage on me
>Tell him I just bench every day man. Like every day. No need to work anything else.
>"Dude, that's so bad for you. Let me get you on a good machine circuit before you fuck your shoulders."
>Tell him I'm good
>"No really, they're so much safer than barbells."
> Walk off chuckling to myself
> He still believes me
>Watching Ufc 200 with friends
>Silva vs Cormier
>Silva has a 10" reach advantage
>6'5" skeleton starts to explain to the rest of us why Silva is fucked because long arms are "a big disadvantage in fights guys, it takes you so long to wind up for real"
>Group can't contain their laughter for more than a couple of seconds
>Tfw when this isn't the first time he's brought it up
> Old ex sees me squatting at the gym
> "Anon you're going to blow your knees out going that low"
> Tell her I'll be fine, going below parallel is ideal anyways
> "Well my master sergeant back in ROTC told us so. He was any expert."
> Tell her he was probably full of shit
> "Nope. He blew both his knees out squatting when he was still active. So I think he knows more than you."
> Wat.jpg
>>
>Squat day
>Rack next to mine has a fag teaching his girl how to (quarter) squat
>"Never go to parallel. That's how you hurt your knees."
>Say nothing, just warm up and start squatting ass to grass next to them
>Girl tries to listen while he talks, but keeps shooting me confused glances in the mirror
>As my sets get heavier, he gets more adamant, and she starts to get skeptical
>Another regular gets on the other side of them and begins squatting to depth
>Fag starts adding weight, as if to prove a point
>He can barely move 225
>His girl is visibly embarrassed
His rage was delicious
>>
>all my friends want to work out
>start out doing PPL
>they've made little progress while I'm getting ahead
>>
heard this one yesterday in the gym itself
>nah dude don't over extend your curl it encourages your bones to grow longer and you will end up looking like lanky kong
>>
>Bench day, final set
>Straining on last set, protein fart slips out
>Spotter recoils in terror from the smell
>Meanwhile, the weight is getting heavy
>Decide to go for one more rep
>Weight goes down, rises about two inches off my chest, and stops
>Yell for my spotter
>"You're on your own you toxic bastard!"
>Fear kicks in, I grind out the rep
>Sit up to see that everyone has vacated my half of the gym from the smell
I think i have a problem anons
>>
>>37889092
>this OP
>Obviously summerfag
>tripfag calls him out
>summerfag loses shit
>>
>>37892439
>Not wanting lanky long mode
>>
>>37892457
more like reverse t rex mode
>>
>>37892455
Kek
Anons like him almost deserve complete misinformation
>>
>>37892446
lmao
>>
>>37892465
Dem leverages. You would be the deadlift king.
>Deadlift lmao8pl8 thanks to 2" lockout
>>
>Have dyel garbage physique and mediocre lifts
>People ask for advice anyways
>Give them solid beginner programs
>No one listens
>Feed them made up bro science bullshit
>They eat it up
>Realize their workouts are getting more and more compromised while I get stronger
>All according to keikaku
>>
>>37892568
>All according to keikaku
>>
>>37892439
>having no style
>having no grace
>>
>>37892611
THIS DOG HAS A FUNNY FACE
>>
>>37892568
(Translator's note: keikaku means plan)
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