redpill me on dirty bulk

>>37817830

The dirty side of the Bulk is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural...

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>>37817847

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>>37817847

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>>37817847
to cheat the law of thermodynamics is a power only achieved by one but together perhaps we can learn its secret ...

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>>37817830

FROM MY POINT OF VIEW NATTY GAINS ARE UNHEALTHY!

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>>37817847

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>>37817847

>>37817960
IT'S OVER NATTY, I HAVE THE HGH

>>37817830
fast and efficient if you know already how to cut

not the best idea if you have shitty cardiovascular healthy

best to just eat <500 cal over your TDEE and train hard.

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>>37817984

YOU UNDER-MIRE MY AESTHETICS!

>>37818033

YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BRING BALANCE TO YOUR FOOD SCALE, NOT DESTROY IT

>>37819061
yer a wizard hery

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>>37817830
Monitoring bread

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As much as I wish it was effective, there's no reason to not bulk on a controlled 500-1000 calorie surplus

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>>37817830
Well let me tell you my experience with dirty gains.
>1st year in uni
>Eat 6 meals a day at the cafeteria, 2 mass gain shakes morning and after workout
>creatine
>pre workout
>SO MANY CARBS
>gained 35 pounds
>MORE CARBS
>???
>stretch marks
>benched 345 and OHP 205 before spring break
in hindsight I fell for the powerlifting meme. Looking at my progress photos I honestly gained only 15 pounds of muscle and 20 to 25 of fat. My bacne was terrible and I ended up getting a hemorrhoid from all the heavy lifting.

>>37819061
IT'S NOT THE NATTY WAY!!

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>>37817830

Did you ever hear the Tragedy of Darth Zyzz the Wise? I thought not. It's not a story the Natty Gainers would tell you. It's a Gear User legend. Darth Zyzz was a Dark Lord of the Gear so powerful and so wise, he could use anabolic steroids to influence his test levels to create... gains. He had such a knowledge of the Gear, he could even keep the ones he cared about... from hating.

>>37819751
I'm dying.

>>37817830
It's great if you're okay with being fat and having health issues/bad skin.
Pros: You get to eat like a fattie and make crazy strength gains.
Just don't dig a weight hole you can't dig yourself out of

>quoting the prequels
yes they were shit

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OOGSkIUX6D4

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Luke Skywalker: What is it?
Ben Obi-Wan Kenobi: Your father's squat rack. This is the equiptment of a ZYZZ Knight. Not as clumsy or random as a smith machine; an elegant weapon for a more civilized gym. For over a thousand reps, the ZYZZ Knights were the guardians of aesthetics and good form in Gold's Gym. Before the dark times... before Planet Fitness.

Luke Skywalker: No, my father didn't leave humanity behind or do eight hour arm workouts. He was a weekend trainer for crossfit.
Ben Obi-Wan Kenobi: That's what your uncle told you. He didn't read the fucking sticky; he felt he should've stayed ottermode and not go beyond "functional strength."
Luke Skywalker: You fought in the Bulk Wars?
Ben Obi-Wan Kenobi: Yes. I was once a Zyzz knight, the same as your father.
Luke Skywalker: I wish I'd known him.
Ben Obi-Wan Kenobi: He had the best OHP form in the gymnasium, and was a cunning meal planner. I understand that you've become quite a good macro-counter yourself.
[sorrowfully]
Ben Obi-Wan Kenobi: And he reached his goal body.