>ITT: We are all in the same gym

>proceeds to use the only squat rack for 1 full hour

i may be far from it , but my towel is there so it`s technically occupied

>walk immediately into restroom
>masturbate to everyone else
>leave

n-no homo

>crossfit in the hall, blocking the way

>>37612343
>since it's taken, I benchpress in smithmachine.

>only one squat rack
>I'm doing the press

>sweat like a pig
>do not wipe it off anything

>i`m done with the squat rack
*squat rack available*

>incline bench dumbbells and scream loud af everytime i press it up

>>37612343

>"Is anyone using this?"
>Nobody says anything
>Move your towel proceed to warm up to a 5pl8 squat

>hurry over to the aux cord and start playing 10-hour anime youtube video

i see thousands of dyels gathering around the squat rack talking about form

meanwhile i curl

>break bench press PR 1pl8 while listening to 10-hour anime youtube video

feels good man

>>37612328

>suck everyone's cock
>swallow their cum
>n-no homo

>benchpresses 1pl8
>unable to do my last rep
>bar is at my throat, almost choking

>>37612420
>sound lunk alarm
>await SWAT team to have you removed

>>37612328

> Proceed to bench press

> load 2.5kg plate right
> load 2.5kg plate left
> load 2.5kg plate left
> load 5kg plate left
> load 2.5kg plate right
> load 2.5kg plate left
> load 2.5kg plate left
> load 5kg plate right
> load 2.5kg plate right
> load 2.5kg plate left
> load 2.5kg plate right
> load 2.5kg plate left
> load 2.5kg plate right
> out of 2.5kg plates so I attach my bag to right. My bag has a 2ltr bottle of non-diet soda and a book 'How to loose weight in 10 simple steps' that I got from Amazon.


Do one rep and hit the showers.

>Tfw some faggot keeps playing 10 hour long anime videos without his headphones in while i'm trying to lift

>>37612439
>rush over to spot you while dragging my balls over your mouth

>>37612444
kekked m8

>wear basketball shorts
>go in the gym

>>37612328
>*Drinks water between sets*

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>>37612460

>be the only black guy
>dyel as fuck
>every other dyel asks me to spot them with a 185 bench
>I'm too friendly to say no
>another black anon walks in
>we make eye contact and nod at each other

It's just like my regular gym

>>37612453
that's an interesting bar path. i've failed dozens of times and it always lands below my nipple lines even if i fail the lockout.

>is the sqaut rack being used?
>no?

proceed to squat my own weight
>wakes up at the hospital

>>37612453
>chokes even more in balls

>Stare like a weirdo at the dude in the squat rack because I'm too scared to ask how many sets he has left

>>37612426
Mah nigga

> ji bun wo!!!!!

>set new pr on everything

>>37612460
I do this and will continue to do it.

>>37612328
>stack all the benches together for my calisthenics routine

>>37612474
Is there something wrong with this?

>do bench press
>left arm is a bit weaker
>lift 2 pl8s at right and 1 pl8 left

>>37612328
I stand two feet away from you and stare with the stupidest grin as you block a quarter of the dumbbell rack to do kipping shrugs with the 50s.

Hey guys
Look that asian kid over ther, do you wanna go and bash him?
>Not real bullying

>>37612408
Who wipes shit? That's what the stoolies in the matching, bright tee shirts are paid to do.

Set down ten matts in corner, make sign out of human skin. "BASICS WITH ANON." Start curling while waiting for other anons

>be pajeet
>poo in the squatrack while squatting

>>37612442
Kek

>>37612328

> Proceed to weight rack

> Drag Sit-up bench over
> Drag regular bench over
> Get 10kg and 20kg weights set up next to regular bench
> Take bar from squat box and set it up in one of the floor based row holders with a 20kg plate from the leg machine
> put yoga mat in the middle
> take 20kg kettlebell from yoga studio and set it down
> move everything so that it's a circle around the weight rack
> take a picture of the ensemble, title it 'This is today's routine. Get. Strong.' Tag myself in the image and check in on facebook to 'gains town'
> Spend 20 mins finding the right track on my Zune


Do 5 pressups on the yoga mat and hit the showers

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>>37612541
Dammit, Pajeet.

>>37612328
You know guys I'm just happy to be here, my last gym only had 2 bench presses!

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>>37612504
Do you honestly drink water between sets unironically? Holy fuck.

>>37612590
Yes, I do. Now tell me why I shouldn't, unless this is a meme.

>>37612590
is that a meme?

i drink water as well between sets, whats the big deal?

>>37612597
>>37612598

>taking the obvious bait

>>37612597
>>37612598

Should I also tell you why you shouldn't stare at the sun? Why you shouldn't run into traffic? Fuck man are you children?

*Be fat old man*
>Walk into gym
>Pick up 2 2.5kg weights
>Spin them around for 10 mins
>Hit the showers for 30 mins
>Stand around in the changing rooms naked

>>37612401
Ey, how many sets you got left? My arm day is nearly finished and I need the rack for some curls.

>Crop dusts in between sets

>Eats a pot noodle in between sets

>proceed to rep out some atg highbar skwats with 4 plates for an hour or two, then get on the bench press, do two sets with 225 then leave

>>37612513
And afterwards let's gangbang the qt receptionist

>>37612920
Thanks for contributing

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>refer to everyone as "faggot"
>walk around naked because we're all so secure with out masculinity we know it's no gay
>touch everyone's cock and joke about their respective sizes
>jerk off a dude who's benching to fuck with his set just for the lulz
>suck off the brosplit curlers as a punishment for their lack of knowledge about weightlifting
>touch cocks with others in the shower to further solidify the fact that we're so straight this isn't even gay
>go home and fantasize about the day because I'm proud of how straight I am

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>i take off my pants to take a pic of my quads

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Be qt receptionist
>"Hey it's you again"
>"You workout a lot!"
>"Try not to leave too many heavy weights out, I can't put them all away"

>>37613003
Those boots... great for lifting in

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>>37612328
>75% of the people there are fat and don't exercise, don't meet the 1/2/3/4 standards, likely they superset and blame genetics, or don't even lift freeweights
>10% of the people there are skellies or skinnyfats and literally never, ever did any sports during school, and can't OHP the bar, blame genetics
>10% are fatasses with intermediate lifts
>3% are lean and have intermediate lifts
>1% are fat and have heavy lifts
>1% are lean and have heavy lifts

>walk in
>immediately look at feet and go about doing routine
>profusely apologise and stutter whenever I accidentally run into someone or am in the way
>feel the eyes of everyone on me
>finish up and leave
>tfw 6'4" lanklette

>>37612985
Yeah, sounds like ancient greek

>>37613046
That's an average gym

>>37612460
Dude It's comfy af

>>37613125
Nah, /fit/ surprisingly has more dyel 'can't bench the bar' skellies than most gyms, and most gyms have more than 75% useless fatasses

>>37612426
>Unplug your aux cord as you are a filthy casual and no nothing.
>Plug my phone in and start streaming r/a/dio.
>Wipe the sweat of my head from the intensity of phone plug in x f

>walk in
...
>SOON I'LL BE 60 YEARS OLD

>milk, rice, chicken and broccoli prices in the store around the corner rise so quickly the world economy receives a shock it will not recover from

>>37613130
>>37612478
>>37612496
>He hasn't heard people talking shit about his developed torso and hidden legs while wearing basketball shorts yet

You'd be surprised how many people seem to think your bones = quads.

>>37612460
What's wrong with that? I wear swimming shorts, very confy.

>>37613156
>Snip the aux cord and tell everyone to wear headphones or else
>March to my squat rack and say 5 minutes to the person in my rack
>Furiously repeat myself when the autist asks what I mean, say he'd better be done in 5 minutes or I'm throwing a 45 his way, this is my rack, and I come here this time every day, and I know the owner.
>Squat a world record

>>37613217
>use my back up cord to put on anons anime music


Devilish

>walk in
>mutter "h-hello" to the qt azn clerk
>wander around the room waiting for people to get off my machines because i'm too awkward to ask to work in
>mentally tell myself not to drink water every set
>finish my workout and avoid the showers completely

>>37613003
Who lifts in Iron Rangers?

>back day
>see asian dyel faggot benching 135
>immideat target
>hes struggling last rep
>say to Big P "watch this"
>offer "help" to dyel asian
>graciously thanks me when im touching the bar
>thinks im gonna start helping when bar starts to go down
>start pushing bar down
>can see big P with a grin on his face in the corner of my eye
>asian guy in panic mode starts vigorously screaming help
>2 cardio bunnies walk buy just winking an eye to me
>asian passes put lmao
>go to manager and say "theres some homless asian sleeping on the bench press"
>manager is old school weightlifter
>gets furious, runs to the bench red as fuck
>slaps asian kid with backhand
>asian dyel wakes up confused "where am i?"
>manager goes of "your in my fucking gym im gonna teach you some fucking manners"
>manager drags asian dyel out back door to an ally
>hear screaming for 5 mins
>manager comes back, smells slightly like shit
>"thanks i needed that"
>mfw gives me and big P free protein shakes

>>37613283
>smells slightly like shit
holy fuck kek

>All the benches are taken
>Squat rack occupied
>Weights everywhere
>Someone keeps chanting grow grow grow while stretching by the pilates balls as I walk by
>Get anxious as fuck
>Sit on stairs and wait for something to come free

>>37612920
T H I C K

>>37613322
Apart from the racks nearest to the showers, where you can hear the constant whispers of the anal penetration happening behind the walls. Or, on second thought, that may be the most contested for rack.

Also, /plg/ will take over a corner of the gym and not mingle with anyone else.

>enter gym
>slink over to squat rank
>stand there waiting
>let people work in with me
>sniff their straight man poo while they toot and poot

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>trappychan walks in

>>37613017
>y-you too...

>Be dyel trying to improve myself
>Bench is weak, but at least I'm trying
>Discover that saying self hating things under my breath encourages me to lift more
>Accidentally scream FAGGOT
>Everyone looks at me and laughs
>Gotta change gyms now

>>37613017
Why are people here 's obsessed with Zoe? She used to be qt but that tattoo is fucking disgusting

Also

>proceed to do the workout I am familiar with
>routine I could do at home
>avoid social interaction
>keep out of the homoerotic showers in fear of losing my last shred of heterosexuality

>>37613322
You wouldn't wait long, >>37613046

>Wait 10 minutes max, nobody else wants the squat rack
>Beat some cunt to the rack who decides he wants to do shrugs, tell him he can shrug looking in another mirror
>Gym owner kicks out some dyel faggot doing squats, deads, ohp and accessories in the squat rack for 1 hour + without leaving

>>37612598
It is a meme yes

*takes a nap on the bench*

>>37612499
Do this, climb to the top and declare myself king of the gym

>>37612343
I have before and will absolutely throw your towel out of the way.

*wakes up*
*does light sets of tri-pulldowns whilst yawing*

>load 6.5pl8
>deadlift with perfect form
>high five boardshorts
>slap trappy's ass
>hug isley

Thanks guys for letting me know what type of people I frequent this board with , holy shit you're all autistic.

>>37613448
*Soe
In the past week I've only seen her posted one other time... and that was me as well. So it might just be me obsessed with her

>>37612985
>this

>>37614440
Anywhere lewd pictures of trappy? I-I need it for reasons. No homo.
>>37614457
no u

>>37614440
Man I would fuck trappy in a heartbeat. Gets me all sorts of worked up

>>37614479
http://imgur.com/a/SKR7F
I think this should be included in sticky

>>37614440
Aw, bae

>>37614804
Hot damn, that's quality boipucci rite dere... thanx bro.

>>37614804
Jesus. And here's me thinking I'm straight.

Honestly though mods need to word filter and ban all instances of the b word here >>37615094

>grab boardshorts
>SQUASH HIS HEAD LIKE A GRAPE

>>37615105
Why don't you burn in hell, straight-fag? Boipucci4Life

>>37615100
Lol I was the same. God damn 4chan trap, man...

>>37612480
>another black anon walks in
>we make eye contact and nod at each other
Is there really a silent solidarity between black people like this?

>>37615094
>>37615100

samefags, literally fags, kill yourself

>>37615130
Nah man, men are fuckin unattractive. Except me, that is. I would a trappy though, no homo.

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>>37612328
>mfw people don't clean the public squat plugs after use

>>37615178
Yeah I'm the same...
God damn trappychan's butt is nice...

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One squat rack in a gym full of us autists?

>y-you first
>no, y-you first
>hey g-guys can I work in?
>g-go ahead
>you too
>you f-first
>I'm an a-alpha! I'll go... Well, I c-can wait
>y-you too
>y-you too
>y-you too

And on that day, not a single squat was performed

>walk up to oly platform
>time for sum deadlifts baby
>load up 225 for one rep max
>lol manlets won't know what hit them
>protein powder is my chalk
>i've got a preworkout shake
>my heart is tachycardic
>how's that for cardio lol
>step up to the bar
>bend over with perfect rounded back form
>grab it underhanded
>scream and slowly lift it over the span of 10 minutes
>DYELs looking at me talking among themselves
>"That dude's gonna die should we do something?"
>they'll never make it
>complete my advanced 10 minute rep deadlift program
>DYELs everywhere mirin
>war cry to assert my dominance
>they scatter to their silly benches
>legs are for men arms are for boys
>sprinkle more protein powder over the bar for the next person
>leave the weights on too they'll appreciate that
>finish the rest of my shake
>nice natty pump going
>drive home and eat a raw steak
>paleo superior
>wait for my heart to slow down so i can sleep

>>37615295
Who made those pics and where do I find more?

>>37612328

I run around the exterior, focusing on the door, so while contributing no money to the gym I can restrict access.

I might open up a gym, I think I could afford something small like 3k sqft.

Would people even go to a gym that small if it had the right equipment?

>>37615513

If you specialized in being the anti-Planet Fitness, you probably could develop a small, loyal customer base but you'd probably still run in the red each month.

>Do barbell flies
>G-guys, I think something is wrong here

>>37615539
I'll take the risk.

I want to eventually have my own obstacle course like the Spartan Run, Tough Mudder, ect.

>>37612590
yes. fuck off

>>37615572

Make sure to have a little kiosk selling 2 scoop proton shakes for $4.99 and $40 stringy's with your one color logo on them along with gloves you bought in bulk off Alibaba for $1 each but charge $10 for.

>>37613168
>work work work
>work work work
>work work work
>work work work
>work work work

>be european
>come at 3PM
>switch the TV to EURO 2016
>proceed to do every exercise in the gym
>in between sets watch the matches
>curse loudly
>get visibly frustrated
>madly try to do more weight than I can lift
>start choking on the bench press
>too proud to ask for help
>die

>>37612920
Disgusting.

Full Homo

>>37612444
Anon can you please give me some privacy in the shower I'm trying to poop

>>37612920

fucking hell

>walk in greet receptionist
>greets back
>don't go into locker room as I know that I will loose my buttcherry the moment I get in there also the smeeeelllll
>proceed into gym in hoody at 6" getting evil looks from half the guys as they think I am dyel or skinny fat but can't put it on as my fucking hoody covers all
>try to exercise around all the retards until I come to the cable tower and have to wait 10 minutes until I can do my last pulldownabb exercise
>people just standing behind me to see what I lift laughing
>8 weeks later no one laughs
>dyel: "what's you secret?"
>PIT my skeleton friend PIT

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>>37614804
I need to devour that face and feel the hot breath while we frot.

>>37613074
Are you fucking me. Except for the apologizing, stuttering, and walking into their way. They better fucking move out of my way when I move out of theirs...

>runs to get opening spot on the bench
>deloads anons weight
>1pl8 on each side
>drop weight onto chest
>"ARRRGG HEEELLLLP HEEEEELLLLLLP"

>>37615139
Kind of, its what you do to acknowledge someone you know you have a connection to, in their case both being black, with out having to actually get social and friendly.
>i acknowledge you are a brutha and im letting you know i do so we dont have any sort of issue
Its a pretty common gesture in the hood for people you dont know, kind of like a quick handshake
>i aint about to start shit with you

>>37612484
First day best day

>>37617618
I do this with everybody and I'm white. Is this appropriation?

I am asking guy in squat rack if I can work in. He says yes because I'm girl. Proceed to kneel down to reach bar because he's Manlet. Do kneeling to standing squats.

>>37618632
LONDON
O
N
D
O
N
>the entire gym shouts incessantly, causing athe least 2 fights to break out involving white nights.
>you leave and come back wearing men's clothing

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>can't clean for shit
>want to ohp
>entirety of /fit/ at squat rack
>fuck
>proceed to do sweet upright row/shrug combo
>try to get under bar
>thoracic spine annihilators 1xF
>entirety of /fit/ bears exquisite witness
>arrive at gym next day like nothing happened

Literally this

>>37612328

My gym has 1 power rack and that exact same squat rack as in the picture. Its fucking awful. You cant unrack the bar properly without twatting it off whatever pin is above the one youre unracking from and throwing yourself off balance. So you end up walking the bar out backwards still unextended at the knees and hips which fucks up your form for the whole set from the start. Hard to explain but its a pain in the ass.

>>37612408
I always wipe the equipment before I get on it so who gives a shit if the person before me wiped it or not, since I'm just gonna wipe it again
There are some things you just can't trust other people with
Even if they wipe it after use how can you know they did a good job at it

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>>37618973
My nigga, I have EXACTLY the same problem..

Pic related. This is how I feel trying to back out of that fucking rack.

Even better trying to rack the bar after almost waking up in hospital.

>pull up basketball shorts to look at my quads in the mirror
>notice someone saw me
>flee

>>37612328
>manlet, when will they learn
FUCK OFF I'M ASIAN, I'M CONSIDERED TALL HERE

>>37619437
>this

>>37615139
yes

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>>37612328

>go in expecting bukakke party
>spend the entire day just fixing people's squat and bench and teaching them how to clean

>>37621406
>walk into girls bathroom.
>there's a mentally il dude in a dress there getting changed
>his masculine bone structure gives it away
>he starts giving everyone advice despite being the weakest one there
>everyone is physically repulsed
>walk out

>>37621424
if by physically repulsed you mean going straight to flavortown on that ass then this seems like a likely scenario

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>>37621424

>fat man walks into girls bathroom
>stands around awkwardly as if to say something to the gym's coach
>when asked to leave he stutters and runs
>later proceeds to stare awkwardly at the gym's coach helping other people
>he sends an anonymous complaint to the gym that the coach is a faggot

>comes in the next day
>coach trappy is helping boardshorts with push presses
>fat man stares in disapproval while benching 30kg
>when they're finished, fat man writes another anonymous complaint that the coach is a man

>comes in the next day
>coach is spotting isley while he benches a new PR
>fat man stares in anger while squatting 50kg for five reps
>later he sends an anonymous complaint to the gym that the coach is mentally ill

>comes in the next day
>coach trappy is squatting double bodyweight atg
>literally twice what the fat man squats to parallel
>fat man then logs in on his reddit account and complains that there is this really rude coach in his gym that gives unsolicited bad advice to people
>wins reddit gold

>doesn't show up in the next day
>someone makes a joke
>remember THAT GUY who used to stare at people awkwardly and stuttered if we asked if he was finished with his set?
>everybody laughs
>I slap trappy's butt and then smash a new 6pl8 PR on my deadlift

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>>37612442

>>37621406
>Walk into gym and see a weakling giving others advice
>See him walk into the female bathroom
>Tell someone about it
>We go in there and beat him up as he tells us not to hit a lady
>Punch him in his very obviously masculine jaw

*unzips dick*

>>37621591

zipper dick please go

>>37613429
i had a goddamn giggle m8

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>go into locker room
>rasputin is taking selfies with his huge cock out

>>37612328
>tfw bench and squatrack are in use 24/7
What are some good DB alternatives to squats?

>>37621406
>purposefully do bad but not terrible form to get Trappy's attention
I-I just want her to notice me

You fucking asshole it was you at the gym yesterday. Don't be so selfish mang, you don't need the rack to do deadlifts or lunges in. I only have 5x5 squats to do and you were in there for over an hour

>walk into gym
>I'm the only one here wearing a fedora
Stay classy fit
>step past some fat oly guy to the curl rack
>he mumbles something that I don't hear over the 10 hour anime mix playing on the PA
>load up 1.25kg on each side
>sip my mountain dew pre workout
>push out 1x100 easy
>fat lunks look angry and jealous at my 30inch biceps
>require XXL naruto t-shirts to contain my pythons
>as I walk back to the reception I see one of those freaks lifting the curl bar with his neck
>he's trying to sit down but there's no seat
>ignore him, pushing my glasses up my nose
>Nothing personnel, lunk
>tip the receptionist on the way out

>>37614343
Nig i literally cannot stop yawning at the gym.
At least i have a aesthetic yawn though.

Stay the fuck away from the 30kg dumbbells. Thanks!

>>37612480
I do this too, but I make a mean face at black people

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>dumps powder into the fountain