/fit/ cringe thread

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>>37520108
you glorious fuck

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moar

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>>37520108

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>>37520108
Kek, Kek, Kekadelphia

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kek

>>37520108
>wake up in son's house
>feeling proud of my offspring as i walk through the quiet halls
>raised my son right
>dat feel when son is well off
>dat feel when son is fit
>look down at my middle age dad bod
>remember son said he lifts in the morning
>head to the home gym in respectful silence
>hear laughter
>heart expands, eyes swell
>the man i raised is happy with his lifts!
>his life is wonderful!
>hear toots
>wut?
>peek through door and see son blasting farts on his poor dog's head
>i have failed as a father
>commit seppuku

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>>37520108
>parents leave house to get it fumigated
>dog was the one getting fumigated

>>37520108
>fart on his head a few times, we both lol

dude why would the dog find that funny

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>>37520678

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>>37520653
>commit seppuku

nice cherry on top

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>>37520678
nice

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>>37520108

>wake up
>7:32
>fuck, I'm 30 mins late
>gf hugs me, kisses my chest and massages my cock
>always the same, always looking for an excuse to fuck all time whenever she wants
>realise I can't waste more time
>tell her I gotta workout and try to escape, she doesn't care and holds me harder, so I push her off me that she almost fells off the bed
>starts crying, now she doesn't talk to me

All women are whores

Time to go lift.

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>>37520678
>low orbit sides launcher

>Be a week ago
>Sleeping in cousin's house, same room
>She hugs me, feels my chest and her mouth slowly to my cock
>Starts sucking
>I let her do all the work
>Gets on top of me
>Tries to fit cock inside pussy
>Too painful
>I tell her to keep trying
>She can't, hole too small
>Shes starts crying
>I say nothing
>Go to sleep

>Be some months ago
>Cousin comes to my house
>Playing a game two days after realease
>She hugs me, feels my chest and her mouth slowly to my cock
>Starts sucking me
>Best time of my life
>Cum in her mouth without warning
>Starts coughing
>She wants to get on top of me to fuck
>agree
>my cock into her pussy, fuck her for 30 mins
>cum inside
>act like nothing happened and keep playing the game

>>37520108
You need Christ in your life

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This thread

>>37520826
keep posting son

>>37520927
have no more :(

>>37520963
well make something up goddamnit, or post pics of your cousin

>>37520693
came to ask this.

>>37520792

Stale pasta kiddo

>>37521110
dont steal it please

Put me in screencap

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>>37520108

>>37520108
in for reddit screencap

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>>37521251
Bump pls cap this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xQr3CcHXVG8

>>37520693
>>37521043
Confirmed for never interacting with dogs; they're basically retarded but totally bro-tier. Of course they'd laugh at farts, but everyone knows dogs can't laugh so that's why you're confused I guess.

>>37522195
this

they probably like the smell too, those cheeky hairy bastards

>>37520108
>driving in car on the way to the gym
>getting pumped for workout
>listening to witchy woman by eagles
>fucking into it
>stare out the window at stoplight continue dancing and singing like an idiot in my truck
>realize qt is staring at me
>realize im wearing sunglasses
>she thinks my moronic singing and dancing has been directed towards her
>green light
>fucking floor it, screech off the cross walk

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>>37522516
1/2 of a chortle

>>37520108
dogs can't laugh

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>>37520678
This is why I love /fit/.

>>37520108
I did the exact same thing as a kid to my cat once. I had IBS-like symptoms and used to fart ALL the time (morbidly obese child) and I just remember farting unbelievably long and hard directly onto the cat's head. My brother saw me and still tells me about it to this day, bringing it up whenever he can.

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>>37522847
Kek

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Honestly this is the most retarded thread that I have seen in months.

>>37522195
i fart on my dog katrina all the time.
she just gets irritated and walks away.

still funny as fuck though

>>37521251
>Kill yourself

Laughing like a fucking retard in the gym cuz of this thread holy shit

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wat do?

>>37524217
upgrade now

>>37520808
Fucking. Moar.

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Fitness for Feabie.com - let us destroy the fat little snowflakes on there. Get the site shut down and I owe thee a beer :D

>>37520826
>>37520808
>>37520792

i love these, i have them capped somewhere

>>37523939
you don't lurk much apparently

>>37520678
lmfao

>Be last night
>Sleeping at friends house, living room
>Friends sister wakes me up middle of the night, hugs me, feels my chest and her mouth slowly to my cock
>Starts sucking
>I let her do all the work
>Gets on top of me
>Tries to fit cock inside pussy
>Too painful
>I tell her to keep trying
>She can't, hole too small
>Shes starts crying
>I say nothing
>Go to sleep

>>37524325
>take one look at intro text
>where the fuck did i leave my cyanide?

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>>37524325
>Feabie.com
thanks for the malware

>>37523656
I live in fear I'm going to bring a girl home and he's going to tell her. It's one of those things I remember and just want to jump off a cliff.

My brother said it sounded like I was trying to drown a duck in a half empty oil drum

>>37522195
dogs are god-tier bros.

can't wait to get me a house so I can rescue a dog

>>37522195
Dogs wouldn't laugh at farts, they have no sense of humour because they're dogs. Dogs are dogs, stop anthropomorphising.

If you fart on a dog's head, you're farting on the head of an animal that sees you as its superior in the pack - there's all the love stuff going on too because you feed it and take care of it, so it also sees you as a parent of some kind. They have no sense of humour though. If they were human they'd be totally autistic - that's why autistic people make good horse whisperers, because horses are just as autistic as they are.

That's about as far as it goes though. Dogs aren't "bro-tier", they're animals. It's ok to love animals but don't try to create some kind of weird human character for it, just appreciate the animal for what it is.

If you fart on its head, you're basically farting on the head of your autistic adopted child.

>>37524511

You sound like a cat owner.

Hardest part about owning a cat is telling your parents that you're a faggot isn't it?

>>37524665
I own a cat but only because my two dogs died and he's all I got left, I loved them very much.

I don't imagine my cat is a human though, nor is our relationship, it's based around some kind of fucked up exploitation of the "mother/baby" relationship ingrained in his head, hence why he kneads the couch when I stroke him because he's trying to get "more milk", like when he was a kitten. I know if I was small enough and behaved in a certain way he'd kill me, just like my dogs would have, and I don't hold it against them because I know they're not humans.

>Hardest part about owning a cat is telling your parents you're a faggot isn't it

No, they already know

>>37524665
na pham, legit cat owner here

he just sounds like a bitter kissless virgin who hasn't even felt the love of an animal in his entire life

pretty sad desu

>>37524714
>Love of an animal

I'm not saying it doesn't exist and I haven't felt it, I'm just saying it's not the kind of love you think it is.

>>37524754
>being a fucking sociopath
>talking about other people perceptions of love

jesus stfu with your cancer disgusting freak, get the fuck back to /r9k/

>>37524700

>No, they already know

God damn /fit/, never change. I come in here all sour and grumpy, and you guys still make me laugh.

Also, don't hate cats, but the typical cat fanatic is a fucking plague upon the earth

>>37520693
It's not funny it's the dogs fetish anon

>finish having sex with gf
>she's sitting on edge of bed putting on her slippers so she can go shower
>notice how broad and strong her back is looking
>mention to her that her back is looking broad as fuck
>oh god, what have I done
>apparently telling a woman her back looks broad constitutes saying she looks like a man
>but her back really was looking good since she got a job throwing around sacks of vegetables and other assorted goods

I used the word "manlet" in regular conversation a few times and gotten wierd stares too.

>>37524511
And still every dog in this world is having more emotions than you, and they're probably more humane too.

You don't have to dress your dog or have imaginary conversations with him but jesus faggot there's nothing wrong with creating a true bond with an animal, try it some time you'll find out that we are not so different from each other.

>>37525043
>We're not so different

Have you ever thought about the old people who die at home unnoticed, and as time goes on their pet dogs begin eating their bodies?

>>37525092

>he doesn't eat his pets after they've died

Lol?

>>37525092
as if you were to die of starvation being this much of a fucking socipath lmao, I bet you wouldn't even hesitate in killing your brother in a deserted island with no food

you fucking snowflakes are hilarious desu

make animals a favor and don't ever come close to one again

>>37524665
Why always the hate for cat owners?
I prefer cats but I love dogs too and certainly don't hold anything against people who like them more.

>>37523939
>he doesn't lurk /int/

>>37523939
YOU HAVE TO GO BACK

>>37524217
why did you say that faggot

>>37524511
>autism calling the dog autistic

spergburgers brah

>>37523939
Apparently you haven't been on fit recently. Aside from the pasta this is almost the good side of a mix between /r9k/ and /fit/

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>>37525189

Because the weird and worst dog owners just have a lot of dogs, or let their dogs do what they want.

The weird and worst cat owners don't understand that normal people don't give two fucks about their cats. They have refrigerator magnets that show different kinds of cat assholes. They fund things like pic.

The average dog owner at least has some perspective. Cat owners are notorious for completely lacking this.

You guys are just fucking weird. I prefer dogs, but I don't hate cats. I find them pretty useless for the most part sans barn cats. I'd rather have something that requires slightly more responsibility but yields a ton more benefits. Like most things in the world, I don't hate the subject matter, I just hate the rabid fans. It seems like there's a very thin line between functioning mature adult and manchild when it comes to cat owners, and the former is the minority.

>>37525697
Eh, in my experience there's loonies on either side, buying ludicrous shit like frilly clothes or things like your pic.

Do Americans still fumigate houses? What is wrong with you?

>>37525715
Ever tried to kill bed bugs? The chemicals we use are probally illegal in your country, buy some traps from the store.

>>37520516
the silhouette in the eye is wearing a fedora

>>37525817
Holy cow!

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>>37525817
Fuuuuck.

>>37525817
>>37525835
Well fuck me right in the fucking ass.

>>37525754
>he's so fucking filthy his house gets bed bugs

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>find guy
>he qt
>says he likes to stay fit
>ends up sending me routine
>he doesn't even do Spider-Man push-ups

I swear I'm just going to go full lesbo. Don't expect most women to put in effort

>>37525754
Actually, I do that for a living.

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>>37525697
>The average dog owner at least has some perspective

>>37525817

>wearing a fedora
>perspective

>>37525931
>guaranteed replies

>>37525817
Scooby?

>>37524957
You must be semi ugly irl, i use fit memes irl all the time and put down manlets, pajeets, dyel most of the brown people i know hate the racial stuff but dont look at them sideways because i always ask what do you have to say about it. Height face frame wins again baby, yeah

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>>37520678

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OC

>>37527562
He probably killed himself kek

>>37520808
>>37520826
Are these supposed to be the new
>cousin (15)
>pecs
>abs
>solid
meme?

>>37524217
CONTINUEEEEEEEEEE

>>37520678
Top of the lel

>>37524511
>you're basically farting on the head of your autistic adopted child.
Fuck, almost spilled my whole milk

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>>37520678

>Be last night
>Sleeping at my house, living room
>Dog wakes me up middle of the night, hugs me, feels my chest and its mouth slowly to my cock
>Starts sucking
>I fart on its head
>I let it do all the work
>Gets on top of me
>Tries to fit cock inside pussy
>Too painful
>I tell it to keep trying
>She can't, hole too small
>Shes starts crying
>I say nothing
>Go to sleep

>>37527562
This thread was too good

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>>37520108
>>37520653
>Commit seppuku
Sides fucking gone

>still crushing for a girl who plays extremely hard to get and I used to date (but I fucked up because of muh feelings)
>cut all contact with her since she was a complete cunt to me
>last week she told me to be friends with benefits then I made out with her all night
> sent her a message asking her if she's going out of town for summer
> she replies fast, which is fucking rare and tells me she's not
> probably thought I was going to ask her to do something
>I didn't
> haven't talked to her since then
A...alpha as fuck

I'll probably see her soon though, and I kind of like the friends with benefits idea. The fucking problem is that as soon as I show some interest in her, she'll become a cunt again. Too much bullshit.

>>37529271
jesus christ the summer, please do this board a favor and don't post if you're under 12yo

>>37529300
What the fuck you expect on a cringe thread, retard?

>>37529271
so how is this /fit/ cringe related?

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>>37525817

>>37528667
fuck off, newfag.

>>37524957
>I used the word "manlet" in regular conversation a few times and gotten wierd stares
Yeah, man. Not good. I accidentally referred to an energy drink as "the caffeinated jew" to a casual acquaintance at the grocery store one day.

>>37524217
Try to really convince her that ur a supreme gentleman,an real hero

>>37525817
m-maybe it's a fisherman hat

>>37520678
>>37520653
Pls stop im going to shit myself

>>37524511
I literally spilled my milk all over the fucking place with this reply, jesus christ man, nobody should have to kek this much

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>>37520678

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>>37520678
I literally spilled my penne di carne because of this you glorious bastard

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> going out on night runs in the forest
> pretend I'm running behind enemy dirty Vietnamese lines
> been reading fantasy warhammer books about beastmen in forest
> usually nobody there this late but two figures appear in front of me
> cant find button to pause thank you - dido on my ipod
> freak out and shout "come on then you f*ck*Ng c#nts"
> figures run away into the forest
> hope it was just an animal

>>37533516
Fuck dude. That must have been a riot.

>>37533516
fucking kek

>>37524228
fucking kek'd.

>>37525697
>Because the weird and worst dog owners just have a lot of dogs, or let their dogs do what they want.

A lot of dogs get beaten by shitty owners.

Did you guys know that you can teach dogs how to read? They can't really learn written sentence structure, but they can learn to associate written words with meaning. That shit is bad ass.

>>37520108
>be a few months ago
>at showers miring progress on chest and shoulders
>stalls are located right next to showers. Immediately next to showers. You can't shit without spying dick.
>dude enters stall with his gym bag, about mid-30's clean shaven generally good specimen
>locks door, tests locks strength by lightly pushing on closed door
>see him take out jar of protein from gym bag from gap in the bottom
>he removes his pants
>he begins getting on the floor, legs up, ass high
>wow.mov
>takes a scoop of the powder and from clues given by his posture assume he has put the scoopage into his asshole
>I'm not even fucking joking he places it into his asshole
>see only the lower half of his face through gap in bottom and it bears an expression of pain as the salty scoopage enters his anus to mix with the sphincter tissue
>begins to stand
>shakes his ass just a little bit, I guess to help the powder enter the blood to gains barrier quicker
>puts pants back on, exits stall
>sees me standing there trying to maintain natural expression
>begins telling me about his routine and jokes about other people with zero form on the bikes
I still see him to this day. We sometimes chat and after we finish I remember that fateful day. Like divine intervention i see the gif of the guy making the nesquick in his ass that night on r9k and lul softly

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>>37524228

>>37525092

I hate this comparison. Given enough time almost any animal, humans included, will eat whatever is nearby. Including people in extremely desperate situations. Hunger is pretty much the most basic motivator we have. It doesn't mean your pet is some beast just waiting to gnaw off your eyelids as soon as you're defenseless.

>>37524957
lol i always say manlet and people find it funny

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>>37520108
>>37520653
>>37520678

>>37533516
Lel

>>37537580
Every single cringe thread there is that guy who post the Thrall.jpg image. Please explain yourself, untammed strenght is cool

>>37539409
It's good, not sure I'd quite call it cool.