Whats the fitest way to get drunk?

You have been visited by the god of aesthetics burger eater
You shall have massive gains and pussy, but only if you comment "Rest in peace sweet Zyzz"

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>>37026911

Funneling everclear into your asshole.

>>37026946
2bh

higher proof the less calories. the mixer is what gets you usually.

but honestly if you're drinking then you should give fuck all about 10-20 calories per drink. just order a rum and diet or a vodka soda.

Water.

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>>37026985
thread/
TY anon

WINE
I
N
E

how drunk are we talking? I save myself 300 calories at the end of the day so i can have 2 beers.

This is probably terrible for your gains, but if i wanna get drunk, heres what i do.
>I eat lunch at ~11, i get home at 430 and workout
>At this point i have an empty stomach
>ill have 2-3 beers
>get drunk a lot faster cause i have no food in stomach
>ill then eat dinner

If im going out tho, ill eat before hand and just say fuck it. Drink to get drunk and give up on that day. ill have lighter meals on that day for damage control but ill definitely be going over cals. Just make sure i hit protein goal.

>>37026985
nice graph but unfortunately shit liquor from bottom to top

I'm sitting on a ton of ciders and can't bring myself to drink one at the end of the day as they're 200+ calories a bottle.

Rest in peace sweet Zyzz

>>37026946
Technically correct. The best kind of correct.

>>37026865
According to what small bit of science I know wine will get you drunk the fastest.
Beer doesn't have much alcohol and liquor has so much it agitates your stomach lining and slows absorption a bit.

>>37026911
Rest in peace sweet Zyzz

Smoke weed instead.

This sounds like a joke but I'm 100% serious. Just man up, be a pussy, don't give in to munchies.

Or, even better - prepare a healthy meal that you were gonna eat anyway, go burn one down, and then enjoy.

>>37027336
Er, DON'T* be a pussy...

>>37026865
alone

>>37026865
I once watched a British science show that deduced the fastest way to get drunk was to absorb alcohol as a vapour through your skin.

>>37027310
No. Wine will give you the biggest hangover and get you drunk the cheapest but more pure alcohols such as everclear and good moonshine will get you drunk quicker and with fewer calories.

The easiest way to think about it is alcohol is what get you feelin funny, everything else is for flavour and adds calories so to get drunk on the fewest calories cut out as much notcohol as you can. Bonus, no hangover.

>>37027336
Considering this. Had 2 four lokos last weekend and threw up buckets. But my tolerance for the devils lettuce is pretty high

Raw IV ethanol.

>>37027392
You can vape it but you'll probably throw up before you get drunk.

>>37027398
You are wrong sir, I study this shit and drugs for my course. Drinks around 20ish% alcohol will be absorbed into your body the fastest.

>>37027440
So do I. That's why my marks are better than yours.

>>37027417
In the show they had a guy sit in a steam room.

>>37027336
I am fucking stoned right now me brudda

>>37027488
Whats your course name nerd.

>>37027440
He asked for the fittest way to get drunk that would have the fewest impact on gains. He's not racing his queer friends to get drunk quicker.

>>37027515
Wow I read fitest as fastest. Maybe I really am retarded.
Yeah liquor is the way to go probably.

>>37027495
That's more than skin absorption but sure. Whatevs, seems plausible if impractical.

>>37027538
Well I did say absorption through your skin.

>>37027413
Ive IV tequila, vodka and beer...just a couple shots and you are wasted

>>37027528
Fair enough. He did misspell it afterall and I did say everclear would get you drunk quicker as well as with fewer calories so you might have me there but it's a semantic arguement. 20% alcohol absorbs quicker as you say but drinking a more pure form dumps a larger volume into your stomach in a shorter period of time. Do you measure the time to get drunk from when you start drinking? How fast are you consuming the alcohol? And a bunch of other factors.

I take it your in healthcare? I'm a paramedic. I was just fucking with you about getting better marks.

>>37027033

>higher proof the less calories

technically no, exact opposite, but the body rreats ethanol calories differently anyway so you won't store them as fat

who uses mixers? mixed drinks don't even count as being "lower proof"

just drink liquor, rocks or neat. no beer, no wine, and obviously no cocktails.

>>37027150
>getting drunk on 3 beers

never gonna make it

>>37027580
Yeah. Sitting in a sauna of alcohol includes inhalation, and absorption through mucous membrains which probably has more to do with the speed with getting drunk than skin absorption. But whatever, it's just a tv show. Can't expect them to get all the details right.

>>37027033
wrong
alcohol is 7 kCals per gram

Higher proof would mean less water.

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>>37026865
>not putting booze into your ass to get drunk faster and cleaner
>not boiling your booze to break off the carbs
You fay dude?

>>37027658
*gay

>>37027655

he probably means "straight liq is stronger than mixed liq, and therefore has less calories"

but really

who ruins the taste of good liquor with a mixer

>>37027616
Pharmaceutical and forensic analysis.
And I imagine if you drank 100mls of 20% and 100mls of 90% at the same speed the 20% gets in and starts fucking with you faster.
Drinking pure stuff will probably get you more drunk though but thats not what we were looking at.

>>37027627
I think he means the less calories by volume of ethanol as it's the ethanol that gets you drunk. As an example, 1 unit of pure ethanol has x calories, 1 unit of pure ethanol + impurities = x + y calories. x and y > 0. So an equal amount of ethanol from a higher proof alcohol will have lower overall calorie count than drinking more lower proof alcohol to get the same amount of ethanol (same level of drunk)

>>37027687
Yeah. If you put it like that. I guess I was imagining which would get you blackout drunk faster if you were drinking at a typical rate.

>>37027682
> they would know the taste of good liquor.

Absinthe b/c of the mild psychadelic effect at low doses can keep me pretty fucking chill with one or two the whole night.

Even with the sugar cube you'll have less cals than most people.

also throw your cheap vodka through a brita filter and you've got pretty high quality vodka now.

>>37026865
Buttchugging, 100% srs
All the buzz, none the cals

>>37027765
Always wanted to try absinthe.
>>37027774
Isnt it also incredibly dangerous?

>>37027774
I bet you do get cals from but hugging but I haven't looked into it.

>>37027764
What I like about my subject is that it lets you know that out there somewhere people were getting smashed in a room while a bunch of guys in lab coats ran tests on them.

Vodka, Lime, Soda. (Fresh lime, faggot)

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>>37027774
>Buttchugging
>47 replies in

I'm disappointed in you, /fit/

>>37027788
The stuff you get in NA has no wormwood and is just licorice flavoured liquor. Also using a sugar cube is for shitty absinthe anyway. The quality stuff doesn't need it. It's like putting diet coke in a $200 bottle of scotch

Buttchug pure ethanol

>>37027831
It was actually 3rd

Beer makes you low test and everything else is full of sugar. Either drink straight liquor or mix with soda water.

>>37027765
That Vodka/Filter thing is bullshit. Mythbusters busted dat pussy

>>37026865

Protein: 4 calories per gram
Carbohydrates: 4 calories per gram
Fat: 9 calories per gram
Ethanol: 7.5 calories per gram

Drink liquor straight with no sugary mixers to limit caloric intake (if that's your goal)

>>37026865

Eyeballing vodka.

But seriously stay away from alcohol.

>less gains
>cancer/carcinogen
>restricts vitamin intake/distribution
>watch celeb body transformations (for movies) on YouTube.
>they all say 'no alcohol' (from personal trainer)
>it's (both of) their profession(s)
>actor(s) getting paid millions

Might wanna take same advice.

>>37026928

Did his hand turn into the burger? What the hell is going on in this papyrus scrawling?

>>37028067

>this
And
>less/no gains

Doesn't get any simpler than that.

>>37027640
have you never drank on a completely empty stomach? Im not talking full out drunk, but it definitely gets me past tipsy. I can drink 20 beers in a night, but on an empty stomach i get drunk fast as hell

>>37026911
Rest in peace sweet Zyzz

>>37026911
>"Rest in peace sweet Zyzz"

>>37026985
Who else here /smirnoff/ masterrace?

>>37027655
You don't get drunk off of water you fucking idiot. The point is to get drunk while minimizing calories, not just to minimize calories.

>>37029912
Me bruh. With soda and fresh lime juice.

>>37026865

Why is TayTay so perfect?

Rest in peace sweet Zyzz
>>37026911

>>37026865
all you need, OP:
http://getdrunknotfat.com/

>>37026911
Rest in peace sweet Zyzz

>>37026911
Rest in peace sweet Zyzz