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Could you take on a fully grown lion in the wild?

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Thread replies: 320
Thread images: 47

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Could you take on a fully grown lion in the wild?
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>>35518294
>brain fart
>>
probably not

jus off google the average lion weighs ~ 200kg of pretty much straight muscle & bone.
>>
LIONNN ORDER
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Sure. With a gun.
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>>35519533
Good luck cowboy
>>
>>35519501
Lion's are the best of bros. Why would you want to fight one.

https://youtu.be/lugqyjbENME
>>
I reckon if there was a specific martial art that focused solely on fighting lions, you miiiiiiiiiiight last more than 20 seconds.
>>
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>>35518294

>fighting a lion
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>>35519653
Fuark, bf%?
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>>35519666
myron keto gains?
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>>35519501

I had no idea lions were so fucking huge
>>
>>35518294
99.99% of people have some sense of survival instinct in fighting something that's stronger than you and would gut you with its claws in seconds.
>>
>>35518294
Don't lions live in packs
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>>35518294
why the fuck did i read that as fully grown turkey
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>>35518294

Hi guys, Jason Blaha here. That lion is a natty fraud. Why don't you ask the lion if it could take on a full grown me in the wild...meooow
>>
I wish I were omnipotent so I could pop him out of bed in the middle of the night and place him with a lion in a gladiator arena filled with all of his followers
>>
>>35518294
He obviously hasn't seen a fully grown lion up close, they're fucking huge
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>>35520280
You jest, but I absolutely guarantee you Blaha would think he could take a lion.
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>>35520012
They're called prides
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Would /fit/ be willing to fight a coyote in the wild?
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>>35520280
Underrated boast.
>>
>>35520418
You can kill dogs and surely coyotes by pinning them to the ground, preferably stomach to the ground, and using your knee and weight to crush them. I don't want to though.
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>>35520486

Who the fuck do you think you are, Rambo or something? I bet if you actually saw a coyote in real life you would shit your pants and cry for your mom like a little bitch.
>>
>>35520351
>>>tumblr
>>
I've seen coyotes IRL while jogging. They are basically lean dogs. If you think you could fight a dog to the death, you can take a coyote.
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>>35518294
>>
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>>35520566
>lean dogs?

They need to try my novice program
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I fight bears in the mountain all the time you guys are just pussies and weak faggots.
>>
>>35520540
my dad told me if you put your hand in their mouth and pull their bottom jaw towards their chest they can't bite you
>>
>>35520351
I don't see why they feel that way
>>
>>35520418
Yeh man. Coyotes are just malnourished German Shepards. Slighly larger frame-wise, but half the weight and with a weaker bite. One good kick is all it takes. They don't have the size or mobility to take on a human.
>>
What's the largest animal you think you could knock out with one blow (ie punch, kick, elbow or any other direct physical strike without the use of any instrument)?

Personally I'm pretty sure I could knock out a deer, possibly even bigger animals
>>
>>35520540
>afraid of wrestling something that you have a 4x weight advantage

I bet you're voting for Bernie.
>>
>>35520752
A jaguar
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>>35518294
In other words, 99.99% of people are more intelligent than this fucking idiot.
>>
>>35520752
a hamster
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>>35520752
I bet with a good down strike elbow I could fell a giraffe
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>>35520752
Chimps, I fight them everyday they usually always come back in bigger number.
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>>35520739
I saw my dad (who was a 260lb powerlifter) cold cock a charging German Shepard when I was 10. The dogs lower jaw was shattered, hanging there and the top half was caved in. It was put down after that. As I was just standing there in amazement he says
"Son, no matter how big they are, never be afraid of a dog or guy with red hair"
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>>35520797
My old man was a cop.
He's got all sorts of stories of one hit KOing chimps
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>>35520418
I was running back home from the gym once and two coyotes showed up out of nowhere
>slow down as I get closer to growl
>realize it's a coyote
>full soccer kick to coyote face
>continue on run
his buddy and him ended up running off lol
>>
>>35520752

I'm sneaky enough to hamfist a gorilla down to the ground. Just gotta nail him right at the base of the skull while he's chewing on leaves or whatever they eat.
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>>35520787
Yeah when you're taller than 5'4 you manlet
>>
>be cuckold
>run past someone's house
>their dogs start growling because they're trained to growl at trespassers
>kick one of them in the face and run away
>>
>>35520876
There are giraffes at the zoo in my city and a platform you can stand on to see them face to face and even feed them
>>
>>35520752
walrus
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>>35520920
That's a bold claim my man, those fuckers are pretty big
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Hambeast
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>>35520752
Your mom
>>
We don't even know how strong wild animals are because there's no reliable way to estimate it. Suffice to say a fully grown lion could easily kill a gorilla which is stronger than any living man.
>>
>>35520752
>kek at all these people thinking they're one punch men

Yeah, you will k.o. a 600 pound beast with giant antlers who fights for survival every day of it's life. Good luck.
>>
>>35520280
are you natty and what's your routine?
>>
>>35520759
would you try to wrestle a honey badger?
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>>35521013
I'm not going to punch the top of it's head you dork
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>>35520752
A medium sized housecat
Maybe a large possum if I'm on form
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>>35519473
LIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAHHNNNNNNN
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>>35521203
>dork
>>>/90's/

Well where the fuck are you going to punch it? Have you ever seen two deer go at eachother in the wild? An average deer could rip through any human assuming he doesn't have any equipment. Sticking a needle up your ass won't help much.
>>
>>35520752
No way in hell you can knock out a deer with a single swing.
I've clubbed one in the side of the head with a 2x4 and it just stumbled and ran off.

Maybe one of those tiny south american deers or something
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>>35521308
I'd fucking karate kid kick the shit out of is jaw uppercut style
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>>35518294
With a melee weapon i would but barehanded its a death wish with no real hope of coming out on top. With extreme luck you could gouge the eyes out while it bites into you but you would still bleed to death and the lion wouldnt die on the spot.
>>
>>35521317
Or maybe you're just a week armed little pussy

Occams razor leads me to believe the latter
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>>35521317
Deer are tough muthafuckers
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>>35520596

>that image resolution

Bit ironic yeah?
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>>35521372
I once accidentally hit my tiny dog with a baseball going at 60 mph or so and I just saw its fucking muscle ripple and deflect it like it was nothing. That would have put a grown ass man down.

Beasts > humans.
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>>35521384
The image of a tiny dog getting hit with a baseball is really funny to me for some reason. I love dogs
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>>35521292
>>35519473

Bless up
>>
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>>35520862
have an le upboat friend
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>>35518294
>TriNguyen calling someone else a try hard

my sides
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>>35520686
John West is that you?
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>>35520769
/thread.
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>>35520804
A guy with red hair?>>35520990
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>>35519653
Natty?

How to lion mode bros?
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>>35518294

What a faggot
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>35521990
I think he means to imply redheads are animals. Being a ginger, I can see where he's coming from.
>>
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How badass would it be to live in the time of the assyrians? Assyrian kings hunted lions for fun. They would just head out one day with some of their bros and kill an entire pride of lions.
Can any of consider ourselves alpha?
>>
Would a full armor make you invincible against a Lion?
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>>35522016
And then they accidentally rip his arm out and get into a blood frenzy and turn him to mince meat.
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>>35522016
that's cute
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>>35520759
wild animals can actually be very scary. I bet you're voting for jeb because you're a dipshit.
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>>35522320
>he took that seriously
>>
Remember that shit normies say to justify not getting muscular?
"I'd rather be fast because then I can outrun wild animals if attacked."

I don't care how fast you are, you're not going to outrun anything that is going to try to maul you.
I'd rather be strong enough to pick up a heavy object to defend myself with, or at the very least punch it hard enough in the nose to hurt it, because chances are you're going down anyway, you may as well go down fighting.
>>
>>35518294
The guy is an obvious psychopath with lack of fear.
I like him. I want to be just like him
Either that or a bullshitter.
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>>35520752
A 600lb human male.
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>>35520752
A fly.
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>>35520056
Kek
>>
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>>35518294
Sure
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>>35522278
you would probably cook inside of it if you attack the lion in its natural habitat.
>>
>retractable claws
>hundreds of pounds
>instinctively knows how to bite your throat and snap your neck with ease

Would watch darwinism at its finest/10
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>>35520752

Silverback Gorilla, im pretty sure one good placed punch to his skull would end his life.
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>>35522685
uh-huh
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>>35520990
>Liom
>Easily kill A gorilla

Nigger what?

Yeah a lion is fast and strong. But lions rely on suffocating their prey by attacking the neck, or having them bleed out while pinning the animal to the ground.

If you think a fully grown gorilla with fully posable hands and arms would just lie there while its neck gets torn out, I don't think so. Lions natural prey don't have arms that can grab, punch, push and strangle.

A gorilla would win.
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>>35518294
Do I think it could be done? Oh hell yeah, bare hands? Probably not, with a spear or a sword, yes... Look at gladiators and tribesman of Africa. How do you think they fought off lions before there were guns?
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>>35522320
coyotes are weak pussies, look at this coyote getting btfo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F6AR7Bu8nMw
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>>35522731
Plus a gorilla would RARELY ever be alone
>>
>>35518294
Depends, how much am I getting paid? Can I bring a sword or a machete or a spear? Or a fucking gun?

You didn't specify, OP

Always specify for these kinds of threads
>>
>>35522320
Animals are just explosive and ferocious, I guarantee you that a trained human(martial arts, not just lifting) who is in the kill or be killed mindset could take on even a larger wild animal(cougar or something similar). However that is as long as he weights more than the animal.
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>>35522770
BTFO
T
F
O
>>
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>>35518294
Could you take on this lion?
>>
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>>35522731
>A gorilla would win.

Bold statement m8

I wouldn't give it to a Lion easily, but you have to look at the behaviours dynamics and stats as well as just hands vs claws.

Male Lions are ambush predators and generally grow to be a little larger and heavier than your average gorilla too, but the same ballpark- if it gets a good sneak attack in I wouldn't give a gorilla long.

Gorillas are evolved for hunting and killing plants which is why they have stubby teeth, small mouths, and no claws- their only real "weapons" are punching and pummelling, compared to a Lion which has evolved for millions of years with knives in its paws specifically for tearing into the limbs of large herbivores (including 2 ton bulldozers like Hippos and fucking Rhinos) with the instincts for chasing and murdering fleeing prey (like the gorilla, the first instinct of which when faced with a predator would likely to be fleeing).

Not to mention, while not really having regular predators to speak of, Gorillas in the wild are actually known to be killed by leopards, which are legitimately half the size and weight of Lions.

It'd be a tough fight for the cat but, honestly 1v1 I'd have to give it to the Lion.
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>>35522979
>TFW /fit/ turns into Animal Planet
>>
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>>35522998
/fit/ has always been about animals.
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>>35518294
>>
>>35522979
Alpha male lion v alpha male gorilla

Gorilla could easily enough snap bones if it got a hold of a limb. Any sort of structural injury to an ambush predator (which is not accustomed to actually fighting it's prey) and it's completely fucked.

I'd still bet on a gorilla.
>>
>>35522979
Lion wins

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tJYW3jkC75A
>>
>>35519797
Look at what they hunt m8. It takes 3 lions to bring down a wildebeast sometimes.

Evolution is savage
I'm so high
>>
>>35522979
Silverbacks may be lighter than Lion, but they are so much stronger that it is unreal. They can handle weights of 4000lbs and have a bite that is 1200lbs.
Also Gorillas are much smarter than Lions.
>>
>>35523130
A lion would gut a gorilla with 1 swat with his claws.
>>
>>35523130
>so much stronger its unreal
[citation needed]
You know it's fucking difficult to test the strength of a gorilla because it's a wild animal, but still easier than strength testing something like a Lion right?

>handle weights of 4000lbs
[citation fucking needed]
You know a gorillas legs are weaker than it's arms right? Standing up it's not gonna have the stability to fucking handle 4000lbs unless its driving a forklift
>>
>Inb4 1 trillion Lions vs the sun who would win
>>
>>35523130
>4000 lbs

I like to pull numbers out of my ass: Gorilla edition
>>
>>35519556
You gotta watch this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Uncbz85jaw

It's long, but worth it.
>>
>>35520752
a person
>all these alphamale wannabes thinking they can take on wild cats and apes
I look forward to seeing your obituaries
>>
>>35523273
>>35523319
http://www.onekind.org/education/top_10_lists/strongest
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>>35523263
Very doubtful.
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>>35523404
>his source is an uncorroborated unexplained anonymous sentence from a "top 10 strongest animals" list
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>>35523359
Does anyone have the post about killing an elephant with a crowbar and MMA choke holds?
>>
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>>35522366
lifting heavy shit wont help you ko with your punches
>>
>>35520804
>guy with red hair
Interesting
>>
That faggot couldn't even handle a wolf let alone a lion. What an idiot
>>
>>35520752
You could knock out anything, just shake its brain hard enough with your punch
>>
>>35518294
Lions used to be my favorite animal before I started going thru a wolf phase; now they're only my second favorite. But here's a fun lion fact for you guys! No one knows for sure who would win in a fight between a lion and a tiger, since they don't live near each other in the wild. But they are kept together in circuses, and it's believed that lions would have the upper hand, because while the tigers become agitated when the lions are near and posing a potential threat, the lions don't seem to be scared of the tigers at all. Hence, if they were to fight, lions would be likely to move violently and aggressively with no hesitation.

So, I think this Conrad fellow would be in for an awfully rude awakening to say the least. lol.
>>
>>35523998
wrong

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tiger_versus_lion
>>
>>35523998
That guy is so dumb it hurts. No amount of muscle will save you against claws and teeth. I'd give him a few seconds before the lion tears him apart. In one movement he'd be on top of this musclehead chewing at all the shit tier meat this guy has
>>
>>35523998
Didn't the Romans have tigers fight lions? I'm like 90% sure this happened and I think the tigers usually won.

>So, I think this Conrad fellow would be in for an awfully rude awakening to say the least.
Well, unfortunately no one knows for sure who would win in a fight between a Conrad and a lion, since they don't live near each other in the wild
>>
>>35523998
The tigers would kill the lions like it's nothing. They are bigger, they are faster, they are stronger, they are more intelligent. Their ways to hunt are also advantageous against other predators.
>>
>>35519797

and lions are puny little runts compared to tigers and polar bears
>>
>>35524064
This

Tigers are ultimate Apex land animal
>>
>>35520752
Arnold knocked horse so I reckon I could knock out a pony. At least a Shetland pony.
>>
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>>35523012
Dat baby

;_;
>>
>>35522979
>there are people on /fit/ right now who have not read Tarzan of the apes.

Lion wins because unlike humans gorillas freeze when suddenly faced with danger. So the lion stalks the gorilla and and lets out a roar, Gorilla freezes and the lion jumps right to its throat killing it.
>>
>>35520752
I work at a dog re-homing centre.

If you ever get bitten by a dog, push into it, rather than pulling away. Skin only tears if you try to pull away, or they shake their head.

Also you block their ability to clamp down with their sharpest teeth (their front ones).

I got bitten by a german shepard on the forearm, so I pushed hard into it, and jammed the meaty part of my forearm so far into the back of its mouth it went from snarling to yelping.
>>
>>35519556
sounds like a dope v8
>>
>>35518294
that vien....
>>
>>35521013
>600lb beast

Where do you live? I want to hunt those deer. 180lb is a pretty big whitetail.
>>
>>35522979
that poor lion must have been very hungry desperate to survive if its gonna try to bite a rhino.
>>
>>35520752
a sheep
a human
nothing bigger
>>
>>35524610
250 was the biggest buck I've seen, my dads friend shot it with a bow up here in CT thing was shredded muscle with a giant rack
>>
>>35520752
I hit a hog square between the eyes with a pipe wrench as hard as my 230 lb frame could.
He stumbled and weaved but stayed up.
Animals don't react to pain like humans do.
>>
>>35520418
A single coyote will not challenge you unless completely cornered and two of them will take a deer on the run so no thanks.
>>
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>>35520280
>meooow
Killed me
>>
>>35520739
Have you ever actually seen a coyote? They aren't slightly bigger in any sense...
>>
>>35522273
>some of their bros
>not huge troop of professional hunters with bows spears and dogs

not impressed
>>
>>35524769
I used to have a Great Dane & a huge American Bulldog. They used to tear apart coyotes when they would sneak in for the ducks. Always made me worry about diseases . I'd be more afraid of a porcupine getting pissed at me than a coyote.
>>
>>35524826
Coyotes in packs are a thing to worry about, ones or twos not so much. Porcupines are a bitch but humans will have an easier time killing that hand to hand than a coyote
>>
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>>35524840
Here's a coyote hunt from my neighbor and I on our property a couple years ago. The guy on the right is 6'2" 320lbs for reference.
Porcupines cost me $3000 total on my Bull dog, 5 times he tried to eat one.
>>
>no ones posted the video of the lion making out with the dude on the ground yet

fuckin shameful, you guys
>>
>>35524947
Lion's love the LGBT community.

https://youtu.be/rqhJuwUukX8
>>
>>35524722
Nice! I only went during bow season this yr and passed up some smaller bucks to see how they grow next year.

I'm in TN now but was stationed in CT when I was in the navy. Ole rotten Groton.
>>
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>>35524752
is of slav hunt tovarisch )))))
>>
>>35524905
>Porcupines cost me $3000 total on my Bull dog, 5 times he tried to eat one.

Your dog may be mentally retarded, not even kidding.
>>
>>35518294
Alright then...

Let's kidnap this guy, bundle him away to Tanzania and see if he's all talk or not.
>>
>>35525130
The veterinarian told me "he'll always go after a porcupine"

I asked "why"

Vet says "REVENGE"
>>
>>35524317
>silverback freezes
I don't think so, bruv
>>
>>35522843
Take on a cougar.... are you retarded...

A cougar has 5 knives on each hand and a bite that can crack a skull. Not only that but it is entirely silent when prowling and preparing to pounce. I don't care if you are Watashi Tsumanihara Ichigo Bankai Uchiha who has mastered the Itakimasu Desu Senpai Rasengan Leaf Dragon Ten Million Strike Technique. In real life no amount of empowered chakras and karate chops is going to save you when a 200lb Cougar that is probably taller than you (Cougar can be over 6 feet tall when standing on hind legs) jumps you at 45mph and snaps your neck.

Sure it is possible, but any grappling hold you got on this animal it could easily struggle out of or just shred the muscles on your arms and body. Put it in a choke hold and you lose an arm to the claws. Your only bet would be to grab it by the scruff and pin it but it could still easily reach your legs or face.

Put short, you are a troll or an idiot who has no idea what he is talking about. Humans have an almost impossible to bridge disadvantage when fighting big cats unarmed. Some exceptional humans can fight bears, but that is because a lot of bigger bears lack the flexibility of a cat and there are more points they can be held and attacked. Just so you know, 2 humans in history have succesfully killed an Grizzly Bear unarmed, now just ask yourself how many unarmed humans Grizzly Bears have killed.
>>
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>>35524614
rhinos are cucks
>>
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the only men brave enough to take lions only by spear are the Massais. and if I can believe the accounts of some victorian big-game hunter it is considered exceptionally brave to grab the lions tail and hold it until the others killed the lion. after doing this like 5 times you become giganigger or something.
>>
>>35520540
>Be me
>Be at my grandpas house when a kid
>Out of the way
>He taught me to shoot
>Would shoot yotes occasionally
>One time, at night, I was out front by myself
>Jump into this old barrel that is in the front yard, just playing
>Hear a breathing sound, hairs on my neck and arms stand up
>fear of death
>Turn around
>Fucking coyote right in front of me
>Figured he knew I killed his bros
>Screamed, and ran
>My scream Musta startled it, because I didn't die and got away
One of my more scary moments from my childhood. I was around 7
>>
>>35522731
A gorilla would fucking destroy a lion
>>
>>35524102
A bear would wreck a tiger, but it does have a double the size advantage going in.
>>
>>35525353
Gorillas fight like chicks in Jr High.

https://youtu.be/H_YOhS1LEdI
>>
>>35525353
Lions kill hippos, rhinos and elephants, you fucking idiot. Gorillas are plant eating primates that get killed by leopards and tigers all the time.
>>
Tigers are larger and more dangerous than Lions. With my trusty pipe bomb, nothing will stand in my way.
>>
>>35525429
say that to my face and not online and see what happens
>>
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>>35525353
>>
>>35525312
Never fucking reply to me again unless you're contributing to the thread
>>
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
>>
>>35524539
That sounds really ballsy but intuitively it makes sense. I hope I never have to try it
>>
>>35518294
Just train like Samson, then you can fight a Lion and win
>>
>>35525269
Butthurt cougarlet detected
>>
>>35525528
Nice stale meme, Grandpa.
>>
can 1000 strong fit guys take on an whale?

i think they can, poking their eyes
>>
>>35526112
on land? yes.
under water? no.

What the fuck would poking the eye of a whale accomplish?

The biggest animal I could take on by myself would probably be a Koala. It'd be a fierce fight, but I'd just grab it and bodyslam myself.
>>
with the same amount of muscle mass, most animals are stronger than us

that's just how things are

and even then, good luck having the same muscle mass as a lion
>>
>>35525205
kek
>>
>>35525312
Precisely who I was thinking about. If I had a spear I would fight a lion to death. I may die, but fuck it, it's a win-win situation there: "he got killed by a lion fighting it with a spear" and "he killed a lion with a spear" are almost equally badass.
Anyway, the massai are no longer legaly authoriced to kill lions because they made them endagered, even more so than illegal hunters.
>>
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>>35518294
nice shill on fit faggot,
try harder next time

>mfw every year around this time there are new zyzz-wannabes with not-so-subtle self-shills

nice gyno btw
>>
>>35527001
I kind of want to go spear hunting for grizzly bears. I think with good strategy it's an even fight
>>
>>35527170
I got a big boar couple years ago with a spear. Have to wait till the get really close.
>>
>>35525269
>on the internet no one knows ur a cougar
>>
>>35520752

I could probably nock out Hilary Clinton if her vagina dentata didn't get me.
>>
>>35520752
I couldn't kill a gorilla but I could kill 10 Marines for sure
>>
>>35523012
Fucking cold-blooded
>>
>>35528370
>>35528370
You just gotta give the Girine an addition word problem with fractions. They'll keel over right there.
>>
>>35523012
I thought female lions are the predators and male lions just lay in the sun and kick their bitches now and then? Were I wrong?
>>
>>35520951
Damn it, this is the most underrated post I've seen in a while
>>
>>35520797
Niggers may look like chimps, and may be as smart as them, but are still human. Don't be racist.
>>
>>35520787
Do you know how male giraffes solve disputes over territory? No one could knock out a giraffe
>>
>>35528528
male lions which are leaders of a pride (harem of females + cubs) generally dont hunt but obviously there are more males than just these guys so they have to hunt for themselves! no hard and fast rules in nature
>>
>>35520280
blaha could not even deadlift a lion

I mean neither can I but I dont make youtube vids filled with my autism
>>
>>35528528
What do you think happens to the male lions without prides?
>>
>>35528617
>>35528684
Makes sense I guess. The more you know
>>
>>35525115
I didn't understand what was going on until after the first watch

And then I cracked up for a good three fucking minutes of non stop laughing
>>
>>35520752
Like 8 spiders maybe
>>
>>35518294
I would beat the shit out of this cowardly faggot
>>
>>35523012
>see the lion closing on the infant

Closed that shit real fast
>>
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>tfw you realise the most athletic humans would get ripped apart by half the animal kingdom
>tfw you realise that doesn't matter because we have BRRRRRTT

brb quitting the gym and becoming a pilot
>>
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could you take on this sheep?
>>
>>35528809
SOMEBODY GRAB IT IN A FUCKING HEADLOCK JESUS CHRIST
>>
>>35522731

Leopards weigh less than a half of what a lion weights and they hunt and eat gorillas on a regular basis.

Gorillas are one of the most overrated animal on the internet for some reason.
>>
>>35528809
I would RKO that fucker
>>
>>35528849
When the goats tried ramming me at the petting zoo I'd just grab their horn and stop them cold. They were not happy.

I don't get why the headlock or head isn't people's first response. Pretty much all 4 legged animals within reason can be stopped from controlling the head. Even bucks if you're feeling pretty brave.
>>
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rUiPmHA7Xqg
that's how a real man does it. catching a deer with only your hands.
>>
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>>35528869
Chimps scare me more than gorillas. They target genitals, nose, eyes, tongue, fingers. It that order.
>>
>>35525115
was that fucker stalking a boar... with a sink?
as in, carrying around a sink with the intention of hitting a boar with it.
im having trouble making this fit into my worldview.
>>
>>35528968
>5.6
>150 lbs
>will absolutely fuck you up

Do chimps have stronger/better muscle cells or some shit?
>>
>>35528809
>kick
>goat is immune to kick type attacks
>>
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>>35529034
chimps are predators and have teeth to fuck you up
>>
>>35518294
Can I use any weapons? If I got the jump on it and whacked it in the head with a club or something, sure. I wouldn't be the first one to do it.
>>
>>35528961
Thanks, I missed my tinnitus
>>
>>35519501
Thats a big pussy
>>
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>mfw reading this entire thread

You are all faggots
>>
>>35525429
this is a territory conflict and more about group dominance than violence
notice how the other 'rillas follow? in a real fight the females and betas gtfo
>>
>>35529040
Have a knife and you can destroy a chimp.
Hope they dont come in packs.
>>
>>35529046
>whacked it in the head with a club

No way in hell you're taking down a full-grown lion through blunt force. Use a spear at least.
>>
>>35518294
in a fight a against a lion being a 6'4" nfl linebacker or a typical DYEL /fit/izen is gonna make much of a difference. Youre not gonna be able to rely on any amount of physical prowess to overcome a lion.

It would be a matter of complete luck and being able to outwit it if anyone won a fight with a beast like that.
>>
>>35529040
Damn i thought chimps were herbi's but them teeth...
>>
>>35520752
a black guy
>>
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=768dNAQBr_A
Emperor of /fit/ demonstrates how to do it :^)
>>
>>35520797
>Chimps, I fight them everyday
> come back in bigger number.
are you a bouncer in germany?
>>
>>35529034
almost all apes (orangutan's are an exception) have significantly lower bf% than humans
chimps have significantly more substantial (in both size and efficiency) tendon attachments.
a good way to think of this is the force difference between hitting someone with a punch to the forehead, or a baseball bat. nothing changed in terms of muscle mass- everything changed in terms of force multiplication.
>>
>>35519666
>>35519777
Mirin trips
>>
>>35528528
Yea most male lions go a number of periods in life where the must fend for themselves.

first as adolescents when they leave the pride but arent strong enough to overcome an alpha and start their own pride. And there periods inbetween being ousted as the alpha from their pride. Its not unusual to see packs of young males or solitary old lions roaming the Savannah
>>
>>35528765
It was a merci kill m8.
Either that or let the baby starve all by itself
>>
>>35529034
Chimps don't kill, they just fuck you up and leave you without a dick or nose. Then walk away and laugh.
>>
>>35527001
The Masai have been hunting lions for literally hundreds of years though, it seems more likely that recent industrialization and land development has probably hurt the lions the most
>>
>>35523012
Lions are nigger , only fight in groups.
>>
>>35527001
in the accounts of a pre-ww1 big-game hunter he writes that the massai got bumfucked hard by the lions and he had to go down there and shoot like 300 lions to bring back balance after they multiplied because of reason I forgot. until whites showed up the massai were literal bitches of the lions.
>>
>>35524539
This guy knows the truth.

Source: grew up in small town with lots of stray dogs.
>>
>>35528869
they eat the younger ones or the females
female gorillas are about 70-90 kg. male gorillas can reach over 200kg (!!!) at up to 175 cm. they can get A LOT heavier in zoos.

a silverback is basically the strongest roiding man in the world at a lot lesser height (ie. more muscle than the strongest strongman)+ giant teeth.

nothing hunts those.
>>
>>35524752
That's very lucky for you. Hogs are incredibly vicious.
>>
>>35529034
Human's nervous system is set up to be weaker but more dexterous
>>
>>35522979
>Gorillas are evolved for hunting and killing plants

fukken lost
>>
>>35520903
So go and fight them
>>
>>35529028
it works man, that's life on earth, the food chain
you didn't even comment on the car they had waiting to run over the pig once it was down...
>>
>>35529551
I would but I'm too busy going balls deep into your mom's ass you faggot
>>
>>35518294
Here's a lion dragging a buffalo just with its mouthlike its nothing.

Doubt this guy could move it 6 inches.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DGE383q4gd0
>>
>>35518294
>implying he wouldn't get his shit wrecked like everyone else
>>
>>35522273
More likely they sat around drank and screwed and then though, wouldn't it be good if people thought we killed lions so they carved it on a wall.
>>
>>35518294
>hurr durrr I lift weights so I can fight a lion
A lion would fucking destroy him. It wouldn't even be a fight.
>>
>>35519797

It's a common thing.

Tiger, lions and co look like they're not that big.

When you see one of 'em in real life, you understand. They're fuckin war machines.

Fighting a lion in the wild ? Odds of being successful : 1%
>>
>>35524539
I've had/have Weimaraners and their bites are pretty fucking powerful, like, breaking your hand and arms powerful. While I've used this trick with my Weimaraner while he's play bitten before (don't want that), I've also seen him crush, and I mean CRUSH an entire fucking Hare in one bite without even trying, the thing looked like it was hit by a car and it just ran in front of him when we were out. I'm seriously certain that if he bit me and meant it, I'd be on the ground in a fucking heap with no hand, never mind being able to do this. The bite power on dogs, especially larger ones just isn't to be fucked with, I'd sooner trust a bat to the dogs head than trying some trick like this.
>>
>>35529723
1%? That's a very generous estimate. I'd say about 0.01% at best. You'd have to be fucking huge just to survive. The only person I could think of that could legitimately have a chance against killing a lion (given he studied up on how they fight, and trained for a while) would be Hafthor.
>>
>>35529141
>>35529141
They are, the teeth are mostly for aggression against their own species.
>>
>>35529792
He got danced around by Conor Mcgregor.

He'd have to get really fucking fast to pull that off
>>
>>35529821
Exactly. I myself was being generous when stating "trained for a while". It would take a LOT of training to be able to take down a full grown lion in the wild. But speed still won't save someone from a lion. They would have to be the apex of strength, speed, tactics, and size to be able to take down a lion bare-handed. I would say that the number of people who could pull off such a feat is about the same number of people who are billionaires. Humans just aren't cut out for that kind of shit.
>>
>>35519653
nice horeshoes bruh
>>
>>35529792
there is no surviving the claws, m8. we dont engage in close combat with other animals. that's why we have brain.
>>
>>35529821

isn't that the fight where hafthor had him with both hands by the skull in the first 10 seconds and mcgregor couldn't get away?

but then he left him go because that's not what they were trying to do?

you realise in a fight if somebody who outweighs you by 3x your bodyweight can grab you by your skull then you've effectively lost, right?

especially when that person is literally the 2nd strongest man on the world.
>>
>>35528704
gl with that spiders like to wait until you fall asleep to attack
>>
>>35529921
It depends on where it is. Someone like Hafthor may be able to survive a slash to the stomach because of higher body fat and muscle protecting the vital organs. A lion's claws are about four inches, and I think that - if he didn't bleed out before then - he could handle it. A slice or bite to the neck of which lions are fond, not so much. If he could keep his neck safe I think he could do it; with the provided training of course.
>>
>>35529931

It was a sparring session.

If it was serious, Hafthor would have rekt Conor.
I love McGregor, he's lightning fast, compared to Hafthor, but this fuckin giant just needed one grab to kill McGregor.
>>
>>35528809
damn that sheep has head movement like floyd
>>
>>35529997
You are retarded, please leave now
>>
>>35530027
Elaborate please. I'm thinking about a hypothetical situation, and how one may be able to take down a lion in the wild. What argument do you have that is something more than a petty insult?
>>
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>>35529997
see >>35530027
>>
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>>35529147
Perfect.
>>
>>35530057
>and how one may be able to take down a lion in the wild
not with your hands, moron. just build a trap.
>>
>>35528570
>still human
kek good one
>>
>>35530093
I believe it's possible, I just don't think it's likely. The only thing I can think of would be choking it to death, or breaking its neck. And saying "just build a trap" is dancing around the hypothetical. The hypothetical was "how could a human kill a wild lion using only their hands?" Traps weren't apart of it.
>>
>>35526630
And after the dust settles theres one lonely corpse of a koala and a proud /fit/izen that needs to get his new clamydia infection treated...
>>
>>35526630
Against an animal as big as a fucking whale, I think the only options to kill it with no weapons would be cramming the blowhole. I really can't imagine any other way, they're just way too big
>>
>>35520418
I have, like other anons have said all it takes is one kick and they run off like bitches. They're a huge menace in central Texas so growing up my dad always kept a .243 near the back door to pop them whenever they got in our back yard.
>>
>>35520418
Willing? No. If my life depended on it? I'd have a go.
>>
>>35530140
end your self. Seriously.
>>
>>35520752
A salmon.
>>
>>35525312

the fact that he's wearing a digital watch and holding a cricket bat kills it
>>
>>35530375
Once again, petty insults. It's amusing how everyone on 4chan claims to be a genius, yet they can't even engage in a hypothetical situation. Telling me to "end myself" because I'm not a dumb fucking meathead, and I actually like to think? You sure showed me.
>>
>>35520862
i actually believe this one because i've seen people kick dogs all the time and they get scared when they realize a human kick can actually hurt them a lot
dogs and coyotes aren't wolfs they are fairly small
>>
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>>35530140
>The only thing I can think of would be choking it to death, or breaking its neck.

You're not gonna get far with that I don't think m8. Look at the size comparison.

Lion necks are basically muscle bolted to their chests, they don't have scrawny necks like us. You'd have to get your whole arms around it to meet at the throat and at that point you're basically opening yourself up for a mauling.
>>
>>35530658
that lion should check his hair genetics and quadruped privileges.
>>
>>35530326
>Not crawling inside of it and going to town on its organs
>>
>>35519533
Shouldn't you be fixing somebody's teeth right now?
>>
>>35530658
For the average person it would be nigh impossible, but we're talking about what it would take to do such a thing. Do you think someone like Hafthor could do it? Or could a smaller person do it?
>>
>>35530718
Wisper could do it.
>>
>>35530718
The moment the human gets swiped even by a graze by those fucking nails it's over.
>>
>>35529076

For you
>>
>>35522366

That's a good point. Not many people know this, but an adult male coyote can run up to 40 mph in full pursuit. You're not going to outrun that, you'll just be that much more tired when the coyote goes in for the kill.
>>
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>>35531471
>running away from a predator
>ever
>>
>>35523359

Right? Buncha dude-bros all like "yeah I could totally pound a coyote into the ground, even if it was birthing season and the coyote was up to %25 more likely to cause an injury requiring medical attention because it was defending it's pups"
>>
Oh look, another thread where /fit/ thinks they can defeat wild animals just because they pick up barbells and put them down again.

Pretty much anything bigger than the average domesticated dog would destroy you idiots before you knew it was even a fight.
>>
>>35524782

I have! I saw him in the woods behind my house when I was outside with my throwing axe.

He was pretty majestic, just standing in the middle of this frost-covered secluded clearing in the woods, staring right into my soul.

I wonder why coyotes haven't enjoyed the same degree of ennoblement as wolves have in the past few decades.
>>
>>35525429
>>35520990
>>35522979
Gorillas kill each other. They just to need slap the lions leg once and it would break and they would be fucked.
>>
>>35524840

Although coyotes live in packs, they are actually solitary hunters, so that's not really something you have to worry about.
>>
>>35522979
>if it gets a good sneak attack in I wouldn't give a gorilla long.
Give a Gorilla a sneak attack on a Lion and it would be fucking dead instantly.
Your post doesn't mean shit.

Anything with a "SNEAK ATTACK" has an advantage of fucking course.

Shit I could kill a Lion and Gorilla if I had a sneak attack and I'm 100 pounds.
>>
>>35531471
>>35522366
Best thing you can hope for is grabbing the thing by the neck and snapping it, or breaking a leg.

Although if there is a pack, you be fucked.
>>
>>35531682
An animal's entire livelyhood and means of sustaining itself is based on beign able to bite/tear at prey using its jaw/head/neck strength and you something thing that "snapping" its neck would be a simple matter...
>>
Tell me the truth; would you flinch?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Umokxn3Vc38
>>
>>35520759
I'm voting for Bernie.

I'll fight you. Come to Kennedy Space Center.
>>
>>35531830
I woulda flinched hard.

That guy must have balls the size of fucking melons.
>>
>>35531830
dude straight up cucked that whole gorilla's life
>>
>>35531830

I flinched at the video. Twice.
>>
>>35531830
Pussy fucking ape just posturing like some hood nigger, gorillas are bitches and get hyped up due to Hollywood and this video proves it
>>
>>35530005
Here is Eddie hall looking like a pussy boxing against a pro boxer.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tFrriRqskNQ

and there are literally hundreds of examples of little guys using jiu jitsu to submit guys twice their size.

lifting weights does not teach you how to fight
>>
So /fit/

Would you fight a Hippo?
>>
>>35519797
big cats like those are kinda like wolves, we think them a lot smaller than they actually are cos naturally we relate them to domesticated cats and dogs
>>
>>35520752
You think you could knock out a deer?
A fucking deer?
It's not a fucking plus sized mouse with a long neck you dunce, they compete for mates by smashing their huge, antlered heads directly into another huge antlered head, with a FUCKTON of force
You don't appreciate the neck muscles in a deer til you've seen it up close,
The best you could do is probably daze it for a second, though you'd never get close enough to take it by surprise, after your one punch it'd gore and kick you to death
>>
>>35529034
Yes, yes they do, their entire structure is basically "More Force, Less Space" than our own

I believe there was some kind of strength test done on some chimps at the bronx zoo a while back, they rigged up a device that could measure pulling force and had a rope dangling into the enclosure so the chimps could pull on it
Before they did this they went to some university in the same city, got the beefiest guy on the football team to pull with all his might and from memory it was ~300 pounds pulling force
A female chimp was later recording pulling on the rope, with one hand, with over a 1000 pounds of force

They're insanely strong man, my mum works with animals and her coworker who had experience working with chimps before swore she'd rather be locked in a room with a full grown tiger than a chimp.
>>
>>35529141
they mostly east fruits and plants but will gladly eat meat when its available (a surprising amount of leaf eaters are "opportunistic carnivores" squirrels, deer, rhinos)
neighboring groups will sometimes raid each other, surprise attacking them, if they manage to catch any rival chimps they rip them apart and eat them
>>
>>35532263
Why would I? Your mom and I get along fine
>>
>>35531830
is that man a badass
or just literally frozen with fear
>>
/out/ here.

The only foolproof way to defend yourself from any wild animal (from mouse to wolf to lion and even grizzly bear) is the unstoppable bodyslam
>>
>>35532263
fuck no! they kill more people annually than lions and alligators combined, last time i checked
>>
>>35520540
>>35520687
i live in phoenix and there are literally wild coyotes running around
it's like a more feral dog you fucking pussy
>>
>>35533008
Not him but it would go down fast with a clean, full powered, upper cut kick
>>
>>35520945
Megatron got dem chipmunk cheeks
>>
>>35524610
Well the biggest ones are known to reach up to 600. I live in Lithuania, a 300 pounder isn't that uncommon.
>>
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>>35529401
Yeah, my uncle went to a hunter group (you have to attend one here to hunt legit and get a proper weapon) and the leader had one arm ripped of. He told that they shot a hog and went looking for him when they thought he was dead. He wasn't.
>>
>>35518294
They have 5 little knives on each hand.
Consider how difficult it would be to fight a normal man who was your size who had knife hands. You lose that fight 9 times out of 10.
Now imagine that knife handed man is more than twice your size and strength, has the hand speed of a professional boxer, has inhumanly quick reflexes, and has had to fight and kill for every meal it has ever eaten. Oh and also he has ~3 inch canines and enough bite force to crush your spine.
You lose that fight, period.
>>
>>35530718
Hafthor could not do it. A smaller person could not do it. No one could do it. If you tried to choke the lion out, it would bite and claw the fuck out of your arms and then rip you to pieces once you let go. This is the inevitable outcome with any sort of grappling tactic. You could try to stay back and feed it punches, but the lion is much faster than you so this would never work, it would just pounce on you and now we are back to grappling -> mauling -> death. The only chance someone would have to beat a lion with their bare hands would be a one punch knockout, and no human can throw a punch that powerful. Lions just have so many advantages over us: speed, size, strength, reflexes, the fact that 5 out of 6 ends are sharp, etc. No amount of strategy, training, or size (within human limits) could fill that gap.
>>
>>35531471
Coyotes are little pussies tho
Why would I run?
>>
>muh wild animal strength

There have been people that have killed bears with no weapons, a lion is no big deal
>>
>>35534669
>There have been people that have killed bears with no weapons, a lion is no big deal

no there has not.

you're fucking delusional.

you fucking cuck
>>
>>35534669
There are, if I remember correctly, two men to have ever done this, and one is fairly unverified. Yes, there is a chance of winning any fight against an animal through dumb luck, but 99 times out of 100 that bear rips you to pieces, and 99 times out of 100 that lion rips you to pieces.
>>
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>>35534696
Fuck a dick niggo
>>
>>35521013
>>35520990
Tfw you dont live in ancient rome were they had wild animales fight eachother to the death, also humans
>>
>>35531580
Did you fucking watch the gorilla fight video? Gorillas are actually shy cowards 99% of the time and not some bloodlust berserker meat tank like people think they are. They're herbivores for fuck's sake, just scary-looking ones.

Gorillas aren't some supernatural monsters nigger the laws of physics still apply to them

Lion legs are strong enough and durable enough to withstand the force of launching a 500lb LION, THREE METRES INTO THE AIR in a STANDING JUMP

You think a Gorilla is going to snap one of the most heavily muscled explosively powerful limbs on in the animal kingdom with one uncoordinated slap?

>>35531615
>Give a Gorilla a good sneak attack on a Lion

Except that'll never fucking happen you moron
A Gorilla lives in jungles and rainforests where you get heavy foliage cover and is a herbivore with shitty-ass human-tier senses. A Lion is a hunting machine with eyes like telescopes, ears like microphones, a nose that could smell a gorilla before it can even hear it, and fucking night vision. One is an ambush predator and one is a shy herbivore. See where I'm going with "Sneak attack"?
>>
>>35522612
>Amerifats
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