PROTEIN FARTS

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>>35242476

>not quickly inhaling all of it in to get rid of the smell

>>35242476
I don't.
I don't.

I've lost the ability to shit silently and I fart all the damn time. When I'm around people, I have to hold it in. No homo.

Thank god they don't smell

proton farts will find you, follow you, and take over your life.
When I try to go to sleep after taking my proton, its an Auschwitz oven under my blanket.
If you're in a social environment, and try to hold it in... the atomic power building in your ass will be enough to split nose hairs and eyebrows clean off.

God I hate proton farts.

>>35242489
>thank God they don't smell

You lucky bastard. My protein farts smell like a 4 week old corpse had a fuck baby with a bag of onions covered in shit.

When I'm out I try to just let it slip and walk away from it, but I can't help but think the smell sticks to my pants. At home however, I just fucking let er rip and inhale that sweet goodness.

>>35242476
I keep em all inside. Sometimes it rumbles, but it's better than letting out a fart. Usually I let them out when outside. My farts are silent.

>>35242518
How long have u been consuming proton?
I find if you mix with water instead of milk, your gut bacteria adopt, and its no longer mass gasstermination when you let one rip

>>35242518
iktf
I try to cropdust but its like a fucking chemtrail leading to my vile anal cavity.

>tfw you fart in the middle of a deadlift and it stinks so bad the guy using the bench behind you nearly drops his weight.
Not sure if I should be proud or embarrassed.

If you have this problem, you're either lactose intolerant or consuming more protein than your body can digest.

>>35242563
About 6 months, and yeah I always mix it with milk. Maybe l'll try water.

Tonight at gym

>am army fag
>just got back from leave
>dfac food is utter garbage
>doing squats
>curl bros 10 ft away
>let out fart thinking it will be one of those high test female unicorn darts of pixie dust
>lolnope.WebMD
>smells like utter death
>feel bad it even came out of my ass hole
>be doing deep atg squats
>bros talking to each other
>"was that you bro?"
>"no bro"
>am trying not to kek
>never smell something so rancid
>curl bros leave

>>35242612
Seriously. If you are mixing your protein powder in milk, switch it to almond "milk" or any other non dairy product. Also, use protein isolate and not some cheap shit.

>>35242476
Circa 2008 this happened to me
>Be at party fairly early (around 10 pm) so its almost empty
>Had workout few hours ago and whey pwo shake
>Am standing at bar table with two friends
>They go to the bar to get drinks
>Lean over bar table slightly, sticking my ass out
>Unleash proton fart, almost proton sausage
>Didnt notice group of young girls (age 18-20) standing right behind me
>Turn around, they look at me horrified
>They immediately leave the party, I think one of them was even crying

>>35242476
Literally no such thing. My farts get more obnoxious when I increase carb intake. Nothing to do with protein.

>>35246309
KEK

Change to vegan protein, i buy mine from Myproteijn, a mix of pea, rice and Hemp.
0 farts now from protein.
From chickpeas and beans on the other side...