Son, can I ask you something?

>>35234165

but i thought i was supposed to be gay...like...you. come on, dad...that mustache? really you're not?

>>35234243

Son, the greatest men had moustaches. Now, about the girlfriend thing. I know you are not moving out anytime soon but me and your mom would love to meet your girlfriend. Mom would make dinner, she could tell her some stories about when you were a kid.

>>35234165

Also, I'd like you to start having sex, son.

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>>35234165

>tfw have been dating a guy 20 years older than me for a few months
>tfw have to keep it secret because it would weird my friends and family out

fml

My dad couldn't care less about this sort of thing but christ this breaks my mother's heart

Son, there is this girl, she's a daughter of my coworker. She's new here. Wouldn't you like to show her the city?

>>35234296
no homo right?

>>35234165
I'm sorry dad, but I just don't really like relationships.

Planning to be just staying alive, staying alive...

Are you going out tonight, son? When are you going to start? Get out there, meet some people. You'll see how great life is.

>>35234296
Faggot.

>>35234165
Every girl I try dating always has this great social life and majority of my friends are pro gamers who just stream all day. and my co-workers who are married

So i feel bad that I have no parties to take her with, it's always me tagging along with her :(

>>35234165
I already have someone, he's 6'3'' and is teaching me how to lift.

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>>35234779

Do you want to go to the mall with me and dad? You could buy yourself some nice clothes. I'll help you choose.

>>35234165
Frig off steve you aren't my real dad

>>35234879

Don't forget who is paying for the roof over your house, jackass. I don't give a fuck that you can't get a job that pays enough to move out. What? What does your age have to do with it? Mah house, mah rules.

(this thread is a fucking katharsis for me)

I have had someone. I have done things. I have friends and I've done all the things people deem "normal". But I found that these things do not make me happy. It is not the life I want. All I want is time. Time for the things I wish to do. Time for self-improvement, not for anyone else, but for myself. I will be the finest of humanity, but no one will know, because I live not for the world, but for myself. In time, I will leave humanity behind, but none will be the wiser that the greatest of man has both come and passed. But for now, I'll simply spend the majority of my time shitposting on /fit/ and telling people to read the sticky.

what can we do dad...it's just how things go in life

Because you were never there, dad. I had no one to teach me how to become a man. No role model to look to and learn from. I walked the unbeaten path and I lost my way. None of this is your fault, I am simply a lesser man with a weak mind and will. But having a guiding light and some tracks to follow might have been nice.

There's another thing that bother's me. You've been taking antidepressants for a long time now. Do you really think you need them? Not everything can be solved with medication. You need a lifestyle change.

Dad?

It's been 10 years and you don't think a 'Hello' is a good start?

You just jump right in and call me a loser?

FUCK YOU DAD

>>35234928
>tfw when this describes your life

Like a gym bro, dad? To lift and penetrate?

>>35234296
that's a weird feel my man. Does your family know you're gay teebee haitch family?

Are you getting senile, dad? Or are my gains so massive that you have been starting to think that I'm your son instead of a daughter? I hope it's the latter one.

And to your question, well I just haven't met anyone special. I don't really meet interesting men on my daily basis and it's not easy to be on the dating market when you don't use Tinder or like clubbing that much. Guys at my uni just aren't quite for me, I'd prefer someone slightly older than those freshmen desu. But don't you worry, I'm still young and I hope that one day I'll find the nationalsocialist, conservative guy who lifts and looks Aryan. Plan is to give you 3-4 blonde grandchildren, but not just quite yet. I gotta work on my education and hightest thigs first so that I'm in a mint birthgiving condition when the time comes.

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>>35234165

I'm not abducting anymore Lolis with you Dad so you'll just have to use my ass as the hole tonight.

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>>35234296

>literally a fuccboi

What's up, son? I know I asked you this 10 minutes ago. Can't I ask my own son a simple question?!

>>35234296
Is he a muscle dilf?

>>35234165
I'm sorry dad, I just can't...

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>>35234995
>This kills the crab

Fuck off, dad. Get back to me when with 1/2/3/4 and then we'll talk.

>>35234838
Cant you be my girlfiend mom? You and dad have had sex for so long, cant you teach me how its done? I have always wanted a little brother, perhaps I could be a father aswell as a big brother?

>>35234165
Who are you, and why are you calling me son? You just cant walk up to people like this on the street mister! Stay away from me, im calling the police!

>>35234165

>Talking to dad on phone
>Tell him since I don't want (Read: Can't get) a wife or children, a nice studio apartment with vidya, occasional psychedelics and a gym membership with a job that gives me 5 free hours a day is all I need
>Keeps confronting me about it over the phone, asking If I'm gay
>Tell him no but I don't want to get a wife or a gf
>Tells me I'll change my mind soon

Fuck off dad, you don't know what it's like to be a manlet or unattractive.

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>tfw come to terms with being alone for the rest of my life a long time ago

>>35235690

>Tfw no one wants a shitskin latino
>Tfw blonde and blue eyed close relatives, came out fucking brown because of ONE fucking brown grandfather

Always hated that horrible cunt, just another reason to do so