Meanwhile, in ye olde /fit/...

>hath hoisted many o'year
>still have not acquired a fair maiden
verily

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>tfw born into royal blood
>tfw my body fat complements my vast wealth
>tfw arranged to be married to a 9/10 qt3.14 virgin girl
>tfw my favourite uncle is taking me to the fields to pelt toiling manlets with rocks tomorrow

>>34933026
DID YOU SAVE THIS PASTA FROM THE LAST THREAD LIKE A MONTH AGO?

LARGE BLACK PHALLUS!

>tfw no damsel in distress

FECES IN THE STREETSIES

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Hark ser Pavel, and good day,
My Christian name is CIA.

We journeyed to the meeting zone,
But the doctor was not alone.

I fear doctor this party ends,
Our deal did not include your friends.

Nay agent, you are incorrect.
These men do not my life protect.

Worry not, ser CIA.
For these men you need not pay.

Good ser, I plainly fail to see,
What use these men would be to me.

Well agent, these hooded knaves,
Nearly put us in our graves.
They laid in wait to spring their trap,
Ser Pavel they aimed to kidnap.
The rogue who set them on their task,
Was the man who wears the mask.

Surely you do not mean Bane?
Alright, embark upon our plane.
Our Lords in Langley I'll notify,
That with the doctor we now fly.

Hark now, knaves, and listen well,
For you may soon end up in Hell.
The first of you to knowledge share,
Will stay with us safe in the air.

Tell me man, and tell me true,
The name of he who hired you,
To take the Doctor from his home,
And carry him to place unknown.

...Will you not speak? The you shall die,
"Not good" 's how I'd describe you fly.
The next among you I shall ask:
Bane! Why does he wear the mask?

Your silence is both strange and bold,
For one who fights for naught but gold.

Perhaps the man does simply wonder,
Why, before you'd throw him yonder,
You would shoot him in the head,
And cast him out when he is dead.

Finally a man here who can speak,
You may be the one I seek.
Tell me this: what is your name?
Lest you suffer a fate the same.

It matters not, dear CIA.
It did not matter until the day,
I set my mind upon my task,
And donned my distinctive mask.

If I removed, with my fair hand,
the mask that has become your brand,
Would forth the maw of death creep,
and bring about eternal sleep?

An action such as that would be
painful to an extreme degree.

But the pain that would ensue,
could surely be endured by you,
For after all, I clearly see,
A man of grander build than me.

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>>34933084

It seems you have mistaken it,
it won't be I that bites the bit!
Painful times are sure ahead
but not for me - for you, instead.

Surely Bane you had not planned,
To end up captive in my hand?

Of course dear man, now here I am.
I shall unveil my master plan.
The Doctor's aid we had sought,
But in with you he threw his lot.
With my own eyes I had to see,
What knowledge he had shared with ye.

Nothing, I have not told them a word,
To think otherwise would be absurd.

Ser Bane it seems you are now here,
Pray, dear ser, lend me your ear,
And allow me, if it pleases you,
to ask what you intend to do.
So tell me, if you even can,
what's the next step in your master plan?

My plan, you see, is quite insane
For I intend to crash this plane
To send it falling from the sky
So all aboard will surely die!

NAY! You cannot do this Bane!
For I am the lord of this plane!

Hold up, brother - you stay here,
We cannot all just disappear
One of us must stay in the plane,
But your death shall not be in vain.

Tell me, brother, if it pleases you,
Of the ravaging fire that we pursue.
Is it small and calm and unexcited,
Or is kindled, warm and ignited?

The mighty flame for which you die,
Is burning hot and rising high.
Pray doctor, 'tis not the time for fear!
Such time has yet to draw near.

Does anyone wanna go to gamestop and get the new xbox one then go to GNC for some preworkout and whey?

we can take my tesla so we dont have to order an uber taxi with our smart phones

>>34933084
>>34933098

Epic stuff right here :D

>>34933084
>>34933098
Keketh

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>that feel when the wench I saw yesterday outside the lord's palace declined my advances

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>>34933084
>>34933098
Marvelous work! My fellow gentleman.

>>34933098
>>34933084
wonderful

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Following thine suggestions I have read the scriptures of marquis Rippetoe. I've followed his way of the Starting Squire and drunk a bucketful of milk each day, yet my form has not improved one bit. My legs are now like those of a horse but my arms are still feeble.

Have any of you experience with sir Rippetoe's teachings? Are they trustworthy? Have I merely erred in my method of training, or hath I fallen for a jester's ruse?

>tfw 5 foot 6
Dwarvens, when will thy learn?

>>34933516
C O U N T R Y M E N

>>34933821
It's pasta

Dost thou even hoist?

>>34934423
>implying that makes it unfunny
Eth

>>34933516
My Bretheren...

>>34933444
Hahahaha

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>>34933084
>>34933098
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4iyvvT-8m3c

>>34933516
>declined my advances

What does this mean my good sir, did you happen to forget your rape rock?

>>34933898
Fear not, for thou hath done thyself many a good thing - sir Rippetoe's teaching are made precisely so that thou will be able to hoist more weight. But after some time it is good to add some fencing practice and water-bucket curls, 'tis essential if thou dost want to look like a fully fledged knight instead of a lowly horseleg knave

>>34932950
Chuckle

SQUATS AND OATS SQUATS AND OATS SQUATS AND OATS SQUATS AND OATS SQUATS AND OATS SQUATS AND OATS SQUATS AND OATS SQUATS AND OATS SQUATS AND OATS SQUATS AND OATS SQUATS AND OATS SQUATS AND OATS SQUATS AND OATS SQUATS AND OATS SQUATS AND OATS SQUATS AND OATS SQUATS AND OATS SQUATS AND OATS SQUATS AND OATS SQUATS AND OATS SQUATS AND OATS SQUATS AND OATS SQUATS AND OATS SQUATS AND OATS SQUATS AND OATS SQUATS AND OATS SQUATS AND OATS SQUATS AND OATS

NotAllMohammedans

>>34934741
Never said it wasn't funny.

FILTHY PERSIANS

>>34933084
>>34933098
AAAYYYY LMAO

>>34933084
>>34933098

If you're just gonna copy paste the same thing from the old thread then just post a screencap.

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>mfw saracens enter mine training grounds and poorly hoist in front of the rack

>>34933898
There beith a new sqire about, I believe he has been dubbed sir scooby perhapse you should find out more good sir